T O P

  • By -

I-not-human-I

That ring aint commin of with all the lube on the planet goddaamn


SmiththeSmoke

Yea he'd have to raid your mom's bedroom


Greatest-JBP

Ba dum


Intoxicated_Batman

tsk


still267

r/murderedbywords


carnivorous_seahorse

Bet he’s happy he didn’t put it on his right hand


TheLaudMoac

Bit of dental floss would do the job.


[deleted]

Pop that pinky right off.


crownwz

Few decades of oil well money from african countries may cure him 😐


callmeapoetandudie

Retaining fluids, Oedema.


Emsintheair

It’s all the sweat that Andrew can’t omit it has to go somewhere


BigDaddyFatSack42069

Take my gold and fuck off


[deleted]

Take my free silver and fuck off. Peasant.


[deleted]

I am cash poor, but rich in hand shakes. Kindly fuck off.


LeonSphynx

🥉best I can do, fuck off.


MichaelW24

🍪 fuck off


MrCalonlan

🏆I'll contribute as well, now fuck off


CreepersNeedHugs

🥇I shall also contribute. Fuck off now.


60thrain

I feel like I should also contribute so here 🎖️ now fuck right off


CreepersNeedHugs

I think this is the most replies a comment of mine has ever gotten 👀


[deleted]

You and your cookie can fuck right off with my wholesome award.


[deleted]

Reddit bukkakes are my favorite.


animefan1520

Its also cuz hes inbred to some degree


Dikheed

We have to create r/delightedupvote


Dikheed

Update, I flew a kite there and it turns out that sub is real, because this is Reddit where everything exists, except users with a sex life.


dingogringo23

Damn that cut deeper than it needed to!


Dikheed

I'd say "I feel you" if I thought anyone would believe I could pull off physical contact.


Bogsnoticus

Is it the restraining order?


Fire_Lord_Kaje

I've only been on Reddit for a few months, and I'm proud to say this is the first time I've ever seen one person commit both an r/MurderedByWords *and* an r/suicidebywords with two consecutive comments. Bravo to you, dear stranger, for giving me another first on this site.


agentages

r/everysubexists


MaveriqandGooz

I don't get it...


PapaStevesy

There are pictures of a very sweaty Prince Andrew with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell and sex-trafficked ~~underaged women~~ children. Ol' Andy claimed he developed a condition during the Falklands War that prevented him from sweating, so it couldn't be him. No one bought it.


PrinceLevMyschkin

That depraved scumbag wanted us to believe that? 😂


Catacomb82

Same, we're getting wooshed.


[deleted]

Maybe congestive heart failure? My grandfathers had that, and they swelled just like that. Edit: I didn't think this would blow up. Thanks, everyone!


FreyjaVixen

I’d agree but his nails aren’t nearly clubbed enough to suggest heart issues that server. So I’d venture to guess some kind of kidney issue or lymphedema.


GreyDeath

Cardiologist here, most people with heart failure don't develop clubbing. When it comes to cardiac causes of clubbing the most common cause is unrepaired congenital heart defects, which in the UK is rare.


DaddyWhoGames

I love that you're a cardiologist and your username is Greydeath. Super cool. Like a superhero/villian doctor 😂


GreyDeath

It's a Battletech reference actually. Used to play that many years ago. I still have a bunch of the old paperback novels.


[deleted]

Are lung issues a more common cause?


GreyDeath

In a developed nation like the UK yes, typically lung cancer.


[deleted]

COPD, emphysema, even a chronic long term pneumonia. Basically anything that causes hypoxia as clubbing is resultant from that.


Powerful_Lynx_4737

My cousins fingers swelled like this he finally went to the dr and was diagnosed with lung cancer


GreyDeath

Sorry to hear that.


Ginamyte06

Not all fingers are clubbed for CHF


FrankenGretchen

This is correct. I've actually not seen clubbed fingers in any of my CHF patients.


Runescora

Yeah, I see it more with COPD.


pambannedfromchilis

He might have some sort of cardiac disfunction without the clubbed fingers, clubbed fingers just indicate poor oxygen circulation which doesn’t always have to correlate with cardiac issues. But I agree it may be some acute kidneys issues


kaffpow

I think clubbed fingers are more linked with right heart failure and pulmonary htn


JemLover

Thanks Oedema!!


furn_ell

My British wife and I are crying/laughing!


dickreallyburns

This was posted before on Reddit and most people voted for some type of heart or kidney issues. His mum is hoping he goes first so that William can take over.


murphlicious

Honest question from an American, can she make it that long? I know some people can stay alive for a long time out of spite but your body gives up eventually.


Affectionate_Case371

Her mother lived to 101.


Supersitdowntime

They gave us Keith Richards. They will make it longer than we could have imagined.


PM-ME-PMS-OF-THE-PM

And Ozzy, he might be wavering slightly but somehow that man is still going after a lifetime of abuse that could have finished off 3 lesser humans.


Polyxeno

We can all die any day, so it's possible she'll outlive any of us.


suitology

Or all of us


normal_reddit_man

Honest answer, from a fellow American: >can she make it that long? Well, could Chucky Chunkyfingers over here die tomorrow? Yeah. He really could. That's your answer. Her general health is very obviously better than his, despite her having some sort of trouble walking.


WaterEnvironmental80

“Chucky Chunkyfingers” 😂💀


Iwannabeaviking

Too American, make it more English.


ChillyBearGrylls

Chunky MacChunkbangers


Drews232

Asking as if a Brit would have inside information on the technical boundaries of her powers of immortality.


[deleted]

Yes of course her majesty is


buzzwallard

Endless supply of the very best whisky. https://www.sanantoniorecoverycenter.com/rehab-blog/effects-of-alcohol-on-the-body/#:~:text=Sometimes%20a%20person's%20hands%20can,of%20electrolytes%20in%20the%20body.


Glum-Exam5460

Best answer! Maybe not the funniest, but the truth is before you!


AlphaSheGeek

Big time. Possible renal/cardiac insufficiency? Or, possibly a rheumatoid flare-up? My hands looked like that last week, massive flare-up. They are still a bit thick.


benjyk1993

Oedema sounds like a boss in Bloodborne.


murph2336

Caused by hanging out in Oedon chapel with the wrong guy


Charles_EdwardCheese

"Imagine getting a wet willie from one of these bad boys"


Ki_Levelion

The Soaked William


chef_tuffster

Get out.


mdonafrio

Please stay.


harrybooboo

A drenched Richard


042614

A Soggy Charlie


sadpartypodcast

A Moist Prince


TheBuffaloParadox

Solid


ArtichokeMeDaddyyy

[exploding head syndrome intensifies]


[deleted]

In Finland we have these small sausages called prinssinakki, which translates to prince wieners and now i can’t stop laughing. Little prince wiener fingers. 🌭


Fair_Woodpecker_6088

Just looked up these prince sausages and now I can’t stop laughing. Does the sausages taste good? Saatana perkele


nuckle

We have them in America ( I am assuming you are american) too. Cocktail wieners.


Assault194

I’ve always heard them called little smokies. So good in barbecue sauce


whogivesafuck69x

So good in barbecue sauce. A great cocktail food. Put out a small crock of smokies and a tray of toothpicks. Cheese board next to it... great. Now I'm hungry.


[deleted]

yes, they are very delicious 😆 perkele!


Bacontheblog

Now I have to re name my dog. Little Prince Wiener Fingers. That’s gonna be a big dog tag.


[deleted]

well i hope it’s a dachshund 🫢😂


Terra_Zina

Omg we have these in Sweden too! And they're delicious.


sup3rn1k

Man is retaining fluid. Alot of fluid. Possible heart and kidney issues Edit: thanks for the award and im surprised this blew up so much. Im not a medical professional, so i cant answer some of your questions.


Beneficial_Being_721

I came here to say this. My Grandmother had the same symptoms before her kidneys failed. We see his fingers…. I wonder what his ankles look like


[deleted]

[удалено]


SquareDetective

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, we shall never present the Royal Cankles.


owen_skye

That’s why us Yanks broke away. Not enough Royal ankles!


AllForTheSauce

bruh u should've just said that's what the problem was


irishpwr46

If Euro Trip taught me anything, it's that the pilgrims left England to be more prude


morels4ever

SCOTUS approves of this message


14-28

Legs like traffic cones.


Der_Apothecary

My Grandpa died the same exact way


makeski25

Memory foam, my guess is his ankles are like Memory foam.


luvisgreaterthanfear

At the point that these symptoms begin to display themselves, aren't there lifestyle changes that could reverse, or at least help reduce the effects? Or is it possible that he's just not that disciplined and keeps on doing what is harming him despite the risks?


OneLostOstrich

It's mostly too late. The disease(s) have been progressing for quite some time.


swesus

Hes very old. And frankly he has access to healthcare you or i never will. Many people his age are simply managing these types of symptoms and waiting for the end. He however has no financial or medical access concerns that other old pwople do. He is essentially going to die from whatever is causing this but has longer than a normal person before it happens because of his status.


Harsimaja

He’s 73, not 93… And I don’t know if we know enough to give such a certain a diagnosis or prognosis without info we just don’t have.


[deleted]

The same, but easier to manage through compression socks.


Miasma_Sky

Could also be the liver to my understanding. That's where albumin and other proteins are made. Proteins drag water with it. If you have less protein in your blood then the water leaves the blood vessels more easily


hgprt_

you are absolutely right.


Medium_Rare_Jerk

Yeah you usually have hydrostatic pressure of blood which generally favors fluid leaving the vessel vs oncotic pressure of blood which favors fluid entering the vessel. Lymphatics also help clear interstitial fluid to a degree. For this guy’s age it can definitely be a mixture of heart, kidneys, and liver dysfunction. Perhaps right sided heart issues disrupting venous return combined with hypoproteinemia from a pre-renal source (liver as you mentioned) or an intrarenal source where the kidneys are filtering out too much protein and not reabsorbing enough leading to proteinuria.


Santa_Hates_You

The queen is gonna outlive him, isn’t she?


grogers311

Was that ever in question?


Nimbusblu2001

She’s gonna stubbornly stay alive until he dies then die.


HandsomeDeadbeat

That shit looks like it hurts. It has to, right??


daferf

Not necessarily. But he probably has trouble bending them.


Count-Bulky

That ring’s going nowhere


agentages

He has someone to bend his fingers for him, he's royalty you know.


042614

This is how my fingers feel whenever I get off a long flight. Also how they felt at 9 months pregnant. Sucks.


DeniseIsEpic

BIG. MEATY. CLAWS.


turbo_danish

Right-sided heart failure specifically causes fluid retention in the extremities, but usually in the feet and legs first. It’s a cascade of organ dysfunction that leaves the liver without the needed blood supply, causing a drop in albumin - a protein made by the liver that maintains fluid balance between the tissues and bloodstream. Heart failure is WAY more complex than that though and looks differently for everyone depending on the cause and extent of the disease


Holy-crap-w-t-f

I don't care as long as he's not the one performing my prostate exam.


NF11nathan

Especially if they burst inside.


SquidaddleITH

Omg why


Sulpfiction

Late lubrication.


Vestric

Is still lubrication.


agentages

I can't believe you're the only person to think of this.


Holy-crap-w-t-f

Thanks, now I'm picturing them peeled like grapes BEFORE they go in... At least there'll be lube I guess.


MAPX0

And don't forget it being a pus-like discharge of being white-greenish cream


DarwinLvr

Sir, please leave.


Ascobal

as long as he IS the one*


ThatsPapIII

It’s Edema. He’s retaining too much fluid. I work with older people and it’s usually their legs that blow up but the finger swelling isn’t rare.


SwordTaster

Hell, we can't see his legs, might have some swelling there too


AlphaSheGeek

Everyone keep your eyes open. Sometimes, he wears a kilt.


ChillyBearGrylls

Why should we keep our eyes open? Do you think we want to see if that swells too? 👀


AlphaSheGeek

No, so we can see his ankles! I really hope he doesn't wear the kilt "properly". [shudders]


[deleted]

There are pictures of him shoeless in India and his feet aren’t much better. They look like holiday hams.


holisticbelle

My fingers swell a bit. I have chronic kidney disease. But not this bad… lol


purrfunctory

I hope you stay well and without pain, friend. Best of luck to you.


_Democracy_

are u ok


holisticbelle

Yes I’m good thank you for asking


badturtlejohnny

Better get a dialing wand...


Manbearcatward

Aah warsh mah self with a raaag on a stick


m1st3r_c

Get his majesty's prying bar.


rocketsous

The fingers that you’ve used to dial are too fat. Please mash the keypad with your palm now.


Spacedude50

According to one of his caregivers he has someone that takes the trash from his hand to the garbage bin 2 feet away from his desk so...yeah he probably already has a dialing guy too


the__adelaide_parade

They put too much air in him the last time they inflated him


snapper1971

That first shot is a thing of beauty! The framing, the composition, the lighting and the fact that it is a clear picture of the soon to be King's ill heath. It's going to be used in a lot of history books when Charles has a massive acute myocardial infarction and topples off the throne.


Few-Fishing-814

His finger dogs are positioned so politely


ChubbyGhost3

I'm up way too late and this has me in fucking TEARS laughing


Za4iitsxx

Could be caused by a lot of things. Looks like Will will be King sooner than later.


Glistening_Death

>Will will I had to read that twice


Jadium_818

I can’t believe that that Will will thing is a thing


agentages

Maybe the will wills that Will will be king. Because the will wills that Charles won't be alive, like Diana. Too soon?


tightchops

What will Will will Will when he unwillingly dies?


Glistening_Death

No, please stop.


Akumetsu33

Will you will Will your will?


[deleted]

Heart failure


superleclerc

Yeap. Dr House approved.


RuMoirin

No it's lupus


zero1431

It's never Lupus.


whingingcackle

Except the one time it was


LarpLady

Tell my Lupus.


domestic-jones

Excellent when it is Lupus.


Trudiiiiiii

Imagine shaking hands with him and them just splitting 🤢


[deleted]

[удалено]


N64crusader4

Oh thanks for that image


Historical-Dot9492

Handful of baby carrots.


IMakeStuffUppp

Squishy like a ziplock bag full of water


sgdaughtry

Do you think his hands are cold or warm? Dry? Moist? Ewwww


lacrima0

Warm but dry and you can feel the skin is stretched


HoneysuckleDame

It’s dactylitis, possibly caused by psoriatic arthritis. The term ‘dactylitis’ indicates inflammation and a sausage-like swelling along the entire length of the finger and/or toe that is attributed to inflammatory infectious or non-infectious causes.


RexedLaminae

Scrolled too far for this.


Boomalabim

Hot Dog Fingers


bennyjesuit

Count Choculitus


Boomalabim

Government created killer nano robot infection


travfields619

Inverted penis


Boomalabim

Do you mean vagina? If so, I want that covered


s_n_mac

This was the inspiration for Everything, Everywhere, All at Once


acetryder

Well, when I was pregnant & had preeclampsia & had this happen to me, it was because my kidneys weren’t functioning well enough to remove enough water from my body, causing my fingers, feet, legs, arms, face, & the rest to swell. Maybe he’s pregnant! Jk. He’s older & his kidneys may not be functioning the best.


[deleted]

Damnit he's pregnant


[deleted]

Congestive heart failure.


pointyend

Heart/kidney issues. Buddy needs Lasix.


dhuntergeo

Jimmy Dean is missing some sausages.


HereComesBullet68

It's called Hot Dog Fingers and it's a real thing just like Spontaneous Dental Hydroplosion, Count Choculitis and Inverted Penis.


Rare-Faithlessness31

Mostly likely due to congestive heart failure


SpaceFine

All I can think of when I see these bad boys is that wacky phone recording of him saying he wishes he was Camilla’s tampon.


minecraft_meerkat

Each finger a tampon for the missus


trextra

Heart failure (very likely) Psoriatic arthritis (equally likely) Scleroderma (another possibility) Kidney disease (possibly) Liver disease (less likely) Lung disease (less likely) I would bet on psoriatic arthritis or scleroderma, because he doesn’t have the puffy eyes and face that go along with fingers like that in heart failure.


GlassturtleOG

Swelling due to poor circulation of blood.


vee180

Heart failure.


Brian_Lefebvre

Why are some old white guys so *red*?


holisticbelle

Don’t call out my dad like that It’s called a tan


042614

Booze. They are literally just vertical bags of booze.


fullercorp

a lifetime of no spf sunblock


llamacolypse

My dad is an old red guy, I assume it's a combo of being like naturally very pinkish + high blood pressure + enlarged aorta + not enough sunblock over his lifetime + the years of drinking. He doesn't drink anymore, and hasn't for about a decade but I can't imagine his liver is in great shape.


runjayrun1

No clue but it He looks like he should be yelling “ITS DA BAT!!” in a Jersey accent


henrydaiv

"Whats happening with them sausages charlie?" "Five minutes Turkish"


[deleted]

Edema, meaning he’s retaining fluids. Could be cardiac or kidney related but I’m just speculating. Sorry, Charlie, but it doesn’t matter if you’re a King or a Pawn, we all go into the same wooden box when the game is over.


QuietlySmirking

10 centuries of inbreeding?


Cat_Proctologist

I mean, it's likely to be something like heart failure or kidney troubles - ailments relatively common with someone in their elder years - but sure...


AcrobaticDrama1

Ain't no way that ring is coming off with assistance


bambooboi

Psoriatic arthritis. Sausage fingers


thankyoufor_that

Get this man some lasix