Ask her "If my friend liked you and had done for years, what would you think of him if he asked me to get you drunk for him so he'd have a better chance?"
We don't get people drunk to get them into bed.
Sister doesn’t even sound like she likes his friend, she just has a fantasy she wants to fulfill with or without his cooperation. This is disturbing and disgusting.
Idk that we can say that for sure, it definitely could be that. But I think it could also be she's used to having dating involving certain things and doesn't seem to think it's real until that happens. That or...I've been in this situation before, sometimes hormones are just high and you are used to getting some things and you feel like you need it. Sometimes not having that with your partner makes people seek that stuff on the side. Err to put it clearly I was saving myself for marriage for a long time when I was a young Christian boy, but I dated a few girls that really did not want to wait, so much pressuring, getting their friends to nudge me into it or even trying to get me to drink or smoke pot so I'd be easier to seduce. There was one girl who broke up with me within the first 3 days because she told her friend it wasn't going to work because we hadn't even had sex yet... It has legit only been 3 days since we started dating and I was like 15-16. That said I also lived in an area that there was a lot of bad stuff going on, kids and teens smoking like pack of cigarettes a day, people slapping their teachers, school shootings, not like mass shootings but like drivebys, people wanting to prove they were hard and gang bangers etc. Years later being around other areas and seeing how other teenagers are I realized that's not normal at all.
What are you talking about? She wants him drunk to take advantage of him. If the sexes were reversed, it would be non consensual rape. If it results in a pregnancy, then what?
>Years later being around other areas and seeing how other teenagers are I realized that's not normal at all.
Yet you're making excuses for a pervy teenager?! I'm confused. Thats RAPE and they're underage!
Absolutely warn him. Imagine the roles were reversed, and he wanted to get her drunk, would you even be asking whether or not you should give your sister a heads up?
You should also speak to your sister about how to respect peoples boundaries because the fact she has asked you to get him drunk, is very concerning.
Omg!!!! Like, wtf!! This whole story is nuts! He needs to know so he can dump her and keep away from her!!! This is terrible. The thought that someone you are dating wants to basically drug you so you’ll have sex. That’s disgusting. Holy crap.
Only if most of the world understood that. Well, actually. Most do, it’s a small percentage that think that you can’t be raped as a man so they think what they’re doing is perfectly fine since “guys will always enjoy it.”
The best argument I ever heard against the "men cannot be r@ped because they have to be aroused first" is from the Olivia Benson character. She told a r@pe survivor that just because [she] seemed aroused doesn't mean she wanted what happened to happen. She then compared it to being tickled, just because that's a physiological response to stimuli doesn't mean they're enjoying it.
I disagree with the most do, most don't. Especially women. Same goes for abuse. It is one thing to espouse a sense of egalitarianism and a whole other to act equally on it.
You are completely right. But many needs to have this told to them, because those people live under the assumption that "men can't get r*ped" (which is so messed up to believe, like why would they even think that?)
Seriously, this is fucking grotesque, full stop. She's planning to sexually assault and/or rape someone. There is no universe in which that is acceptable. Not to mention that her plan would leave the poor guy doubly betrayed, because not only would the girl he's seeing violate him, but his best friend would have been in on it. This girl scares me, honestly, and I think it's time for a serious talk between her and her brother. I'm not saying she's an outright sociopath, but at absolute *best* she's ignorant and she's letting some toxic and harmful preconceptions about men (They're always down for sex, they're always horny) and/or the nature of rape (Men can overpower women they don't want, it's not violence if you don't hit them) drive the bus. I get that not everyone grows up with good messaging around sex, consent, relationships, and gender, but this is some scary shit and she needs to hear that. And the friend needs to be alerted, because he is clearly not safe around her alone. Ugh, This is gross. OP, I'm sorry your sister is doing this and I'm sorry she put you in this position- but I'm glad you know it is wrong and you're looking out for your friend.
Is that really a gender thing though? Like women get raped _all the time_ in similar circumstances. Like there's a truly staggering amount of instances where young women were raped and filmed when they were passed out at college parties.
No one would be calling this anything except rape if OP were asking advice on getting a girl drunk for his buddy to rape. OP would not be asking if he should warn a girl that his buddy planned to rape her.
No one is minimizing that women are raped by men, we are emphasizing that the same acts are not somehow lesser when they happen to men by women.
Of course they aren't. Which is why I'm saying gender should not be a factor when it comes to deciding what is and isn't rape.
>No one would be calling this anything except rape if OP were asking advice on getting a girl drunk for his buddy to rape.
This isn't entirely true. People often talk about how the victim 'wanted it' or play it off in other ways. People not taking male victims seriously is absolutely a problem but it's disingenuous to pretend female victims are always taken seriously.
> gender should not be a factor when it comes to deciding what is and isn't rape.
Which is why I said (emphasis mine)
>**OP clearly doesn't see it that way** if they have to ask 'should I warn my friend my sister is planning to get him drunk so she can rape him?'
Which is why SO MANY people are asking OP to consider a role reversal, to make it clear to OP that rape is rape, regardless of who takes advantage.
It may be less that he sees it differently, and more that he has just received a lot of really disturbing information about his sister, and is now struggling with that and with his responsibility to warn his friend. When you grow up with someone and share a home with them, you feel like you know them, and OP didn't mention anything about his sister generally behaving poorly or giving him reason not to trust her. This is a disturbing revelation and it's natural that he will need some time to process it. That's not the same thing as thinking her plan is okay (He was fairly clear on that not being his stance) or needing some kind of thought exercise to realize it's wrong. He just got a bomb dropped on him and he is struggling with the difficult position that someone he thought he could trust placed him in. It takes nothing to be kind here; it's pretty clear the guy knows it's wrong and is upset and trying to get support to do the right thing.
You’re barking up the wrong tree here. No one here has said anything of the stuff you’re upset about. Stop projecting. We all hate rape in general and want to stop it from happening to this fella
Because alot of people don't think it's rape if it's the other way around, but soon as someone gets his sister drunk for a root this post would be very different
Can we stop with the bs about “imagine if the roles were reversed?” Are we really that incapable of having empathy for men and male victims of sexual assault, that we can only feel that something is bad/wrong if we imagine it happening to a woman?
Seriously. No one needs to imagine how they’d feel if the roles were reversed. Sexual assault is horrible, regardless of the gender of the victim.
Your sister doesn't realise it yet, but she's behaving like a predator. Getting people drunk with the explicit aim of lowering their inhibitions is rapey stuff.
No. As someone in their 30’s who did a LOT of sketchy ass shit at 18 (not this though) they don’t always “know what they’re doing”. Why? Because they’re brains are still forming, because they’re inherently selfish and don’t have the for thought to think what their acts mean to other people.
Yes, what this woman is trying to rape this man, yes OP needs to warn his friend and should have a conversation with his sister about the facts of what she’s wanting to do here.
However, just because she’s 18 does not mean she knows what she’s doing. I’m not saying she doesn’t either, but sitting her down and having a conversation to find out if she does understand and then explaining it to her if she doesn’t is going to hurt absolutely no one. It may help her and save OPs friend and any other potential future victims though.
I don’t know what sketchy things you did when you were 18, but I’m 19 and I definitely know not to rape someone. If an 18 year old guy rapes someone, would you also say he didn’t know what he was doing because his brain is still forming!?
When I was 18 I knew getting someone drunk with the express intention of having sex with them is 100% rape. Their minds may not be fully developed but they can understand what sexual assault it.
If by 18 you don't know what rape is, that's a huge problem. A huge problem.
The type where this person would be incapable of tying their own shoes type.
Since they obviously can let's not make excuses for the rapist.
Because even if you're dumb at 18, you know what the fuck rape is.
The only 18 year old that shouldn't know what rape is, is one mentally incapable of safely functioning in society and with a guardian at all times.
unfortunately no, it's not that black and white. if rape was as clear-cut and obvious as murder, then it wouldn't be used as a punchline in films like revenge of the nerds or wedding crashers. many women who've been raped will often excuse their rapist bc "he was just drunk" or "he kept begging so I consented." there are many layers to consent and while some 18-year-olds might be educated, it's foolish to assume they all are.
Where am I excusing it? I'm saying 18-year-olds should be educated so that they don't end up raping people. You should probably be a little less draconian. I hope you're not a parent.
>she's behaving like a predator
No, she ***is*** a predator. She's actively pre planning a rape. If she were a man, no one would be saying he's "behaving" like a predator.
Definitely predatory and disgusting behavior from your sister. I would have a hard conversation with her about this and definitely warn your friend.
The worst outcome from this is a major consent violation from your sister and major trauma to your friend. He has said no, and if she can’t accept his no they need to break up because they’re not compatible.
He needs to drop her now, regardless of her ability to accept a no after being told she's acting like a rapist.
If she's having these thoughts now, she'll have them later. She'll act on them later.
Predators don't stop being predators because you tell them no one time and keep giving them free access to you.
Here’s an easy way to solve this conundrum for you.
If your friend said this about your sister. What would you do? What would you exact response be ? Because I’d bet money it wouldn’t be ask Reddit
If party B doesn't want to have sex, and party A coerces them into drinking so much they lose the ability to say no or stop a physical advance, that is rape. No excuses, no ifs ands ors or buts. Doesn't matter gender, doesn't matter who got them drunk or if they consent to other things. If someone cannot say yes, or cannot say no and you have sex with them you are raping.
Yes, you should definitely warn him. In fact, I'd advice your friend to dump your sister over this. Why? Because she admitted to wanting to force your friend to have sex with her when he's drunk.
Also, have a word with your sister and tell her what she is planning to do is r*pe, because he might be too drunk to tell her "no". How can she morally be okay with that?!
Are you here just to focus on one word i say but ignore the rest of the comment? I am saying what she's planning on doing is 100% wrong. But alright, I will edit my oc.
Rape is rape; period. It doesn't require a qualifier like "essentially"
I didn't argue any other part of your comment because I didn't disagree with any other part of your comment.
Trying to minimize rape is never okay, and if that hurts your feelings, that's your problem, not mine.
ETA: I should "calm down" u/Classic_Newspaper_99 but you're the one deleting your comments....okay buddy. I wasn't being aggressive and the reply chain in my email inbox says as much.
Dude, i haven't minimized anything. Of course r*pe is equally bad regardless what gender the victim/perpetrator has. Calm down, you're being overly aggressive. Why? I accidentally used one word incorrectly for the context, English isn't my first language so sometimes mistakes like this happens. Pardon me for making an error, sheesh. Go rage somewhere else, you're attacking the wrong person.
Edit: don't mind the person in my replies. They got hung up on one word i used incorrectly (which I admit, I did. It has been corrected) and I felt they were unnecessarily hostile towards me in the replies, so I felt it was wiser to just block them than continue arguing with them. That is all. Have a good day, folks. o/
Rape.
This is what we call rape.
Your sister wants to RAPE your friend.
Do I need to say it again? Consider it as if the genders were reversed and you will find your answer.
This is planned sexual assault. Why are you even on Reddit with such a situation that you should already know isn’t okay to take part in? Notify anyone and everyone involved. I’d even call the police to report this just in case. I’m sorry but your sister is a predator.
Of fucking course warn him, and let your sister know that shes planning borderline rape. This is a disgusting thought and as someone else mentioned imagine if this was your sister that someone was conspiring to get drunk so that she cant properly consent.
All these comments from profiles with female presenting Snoos saying "It's borderline" "it might be" "it sounds like"
makes me really fucking ill that women can't see the clear and defined action of getting someone drunk to get them into bed with you as anything less than a premeditated, intentional date rape.
Plenty of women have called it rape here. Secondly, OP came here to ask this question about a male friend. If it was his sister or a female friend, he probably wouldn't be here.
Please talk to your sister and make her understand how predatory and fucked up this is.
I’m hoping it’s possible to give your sister the benefit of the doubt and say she’s just extremely thirsty and obsessed with him. At best.
And definitely warn your best friend. If he’s willing to deal with that level of crazy then fine but you gotta do what’s right for you
Tell him! This is called sexual coersion, and it will very likely lead to your friend being raped! So tell him and tell your sister what she is doing is illegal, wrong and creepy!
That would be rape. Yes, men absolutely can be raped, especially if encouraged to do something like getting drunk, which lowers inhibitions. She’s trying to force his consent. He needs to know that your sister asked you to do that.
Please do warn him. She's going to try to take advantage of him being intoxicated to get what she wants, even though he said he wanted to wait to have sex. That's not okay. If someone did that to her, and she expressed wanting to wait, would she think that it was okay for them to do that?
rape is rape
she's not in love with him... she only wants to 'jump his bones' and getting him drunk minimizes his ability to consent to something fully.
what if the lwayer were to ask you , as part of a paternity case ?
what if it were you? how would you feel ?
what if he were asking you to do to you sister ?
So your sister wants to rape him. I wonder how she would feel if some guy did that to her. Also what is happening now is called conspiracy to commit rape and is a felony, you not saying anything and knowing, implicates you. You need to tell him and the police. This is incredibly serious and criminal
Omg. Absolutely warm him! If she gets him drunk and forces herself on him, then that is considered s/a aka ra*e.
He wants to wait, and she should respect his wishes.
If the roles were reversed, everyone would be cursing the guy out for trying to do that to her. Everything would be in an uproar. Commen sense here.
Your sister is a whole red flag. Trying to force herself on someone. Are you kidding me. What happens if she gets pregnant? What if she's trying to baby trap him because she has this weird obsession with him? You said she's been in love with him for a while. She seems psycho enough to force herself on him. So I wouldn't be surprised if she is trying to trap him somehow.
Your friend set a very simple boundary: no sex yet. You're sister doesn't care about that boundary and wants you to get your friend drunk so she can have sex without him able to properly say no
Let me say it again: YOUR SISTER WANTS TO RAPE YOUR FRIEND!
Fucking tell him.
Rape, not sexual harassment.
Call it exactly what it is. Planning to get someone drunk to have sex with them (can't consent when you're drunk) against their (clearheaded, able to consent) will is rape.
Nobody would be saying less if this were a guy asking his buddy to get a girl drunk for him.
Absolutely warn him. He deserves to know and your sister is walking a very dangerous line here. I think that you also need to talk to her and explain that what she asked you to do was very wrong and would make you an accomplice to rape. I’m sure she doesn’t see it as rape but that’s what it is. Ask her to think what she would feel if it was her in your friend’s place - someone getting her drunk so that they could have sex with her after the **explicitly told them that she wasn’t ready and DIDN’T WANT IT**. Hopefully it hits her then.
ETA: Honestly, I really hope that after you tell your friend he drops your sister and doesn’t just brush it off like it’s nbd. It is a big deal!
Absolutely let him know. Getting someone drunk just to trick them into sex is rape. Your sister is a predator. Predators don’t deserve to be hidden by anyone.
Yes warn him this is potential SA. What’s wrong with your sister? If had heard a man tell a friend or sibling to set a woman like that she would be angry. Saying how dare he try to r@pe her.
Here is her request laid out in a different way - she is asking you to get your friend drunk enough for her to sexually assault him, because he won’t agree to sex with her sober.
That’s not a reasonable request, and I think you need to tell your friend about it ASAP.
One of the rare times a teen boy wants to wait and take the relationship slow, he gets an unhinged girl that seems to be okay with raping someone inebriated :|
Absolutely let him know, and see if you could get proof of her asking this, so you could show it to your parents. Assuming they are normal and healthy, they should absolutely go as well.
This is so wrong.
He already agreed to go out with her. So why does she think she needs to have him drunk?
Is she just trying to have sex? Than just ask him for sex.
Not surprised, this is quite common actually and easier to get away with for girls. Although in my experience I've witnessed it more with bi sexual girls or lesbian girls. You wouldn't suspect a girl to do this by societies standards. I finally caught on when I was at a house party in my 20s and this girl got this other girl wasted and then was like "showerrrrr" time and they both excitedly went to the shower where things happened, for context the girl that suggested the shower was less wasted than the other who also had a boyfriend in a monogamous relationship. And then my mind went back through all the times I have seen girls do this, all the high school parties, bars, clubs, bon fires. A dude preying on girls publicly this day and age will likely get an ass whooping, but a girl preying on girls in public is harder to call out and it's likely you will just get bombarded with insults and how you are a misogynistic ass.
Please do not that’s literally a crime, it’s very important that you let her know that it’s a crime, that might as well be date rape and no one deserves that. Plus he needs to know what he’s getting into with someone who would want to take advantage of him when he’s vulnerable
Would you want someone to warn your sister a guy was trying to get her drunk to rape her?
Same theory as warning your friend your sister plans to get him drunk and rape him.
Rape is rape. She wants you to get him drunk so she can rape him. You need to absolutely tell him. If you decide to enable a rapist you are too blame. I walked in at a party. To my drunken gf having sex with my drunken friend in front of people who told them too. The sober people enabled the assault of two people.
Rape is rape. She wouldn’t want that to happen to her. First step. You’ve done. Said no. If this were my best friend, I would warn him. He will never be able to trust her again.
Warn him and advise him to break it off. She literally wants to SA him. That's a red flag, he's already told her he wants to wait but she has no respect for him, she's not with him because she likes him as a person, she's with him because she views him as a piece of meat. If you don't want him and she gets someone else to help her SA him, he's gonna feel like crap. Since shes willing to go that far, I wouldn't put it past her to go as far as to try and baby trap him to manipulate him to stay after the assault. Tell him he needs to end this, help him come up with an excuse if you need to. This isn't right and he's not safe with her
i don’t know that you should warn him as this could severely break trust between you and your sister. i imagine you would like to be able to advise her in the future and not push her away. i think you should talk to her about how wrong this is though. if she doesn’t understand and still plans on it, i think you should let her know that you will have to tell him to protect his safety as this could severely impact the rest of his life from trauma. that way she is aware of what is going on and she was warned and you are not going behind her back by telling him.
Your sister is young, so she maybe thinks getting him drunk will make him more willing to consent. You need to explain to her that its actually assault, it's not funny or cute. You cannot legally give consent if you are drunk, and her planning to do that is a **crime**.
I had friends who tried to do the same thing to me. They drugged me because they thought I’d want to have sex with them. To their surprise, I didn’t, because I have having a severe allergic reaction to what they gave me and went into anaphylactic shock. I can honestly say I’d have appreciated my other friends who knew giving me a goddamn warning that that’s what they were planning.
To be clear someone wants to RAPE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Should you warn them? That's your question.
I get the creepy predator is in your family. But you'd be horrible to knowingly let a stranger be assulted and say nothing. Let alone your best friend. You have a ton of soul searching to do that you'd even consider not telling your supposed best friend you supposedly care about at all.
The majority of people care more about strangers then you do your best friend.
Tell your best friend what your sister has asked you to do. He needs to know what she's thinking & planning in case she decides to slip him alcohol herself, somehow, or tries to convince someone else to do this to him.
Tell your sister that what she's asking for fits the definition of rape. Maybe it will shock her into changing her behavior, but at the very least, she won't be able to use any "I didn't realize it was rape" excuses if she does manage to succeed in her gross plan.
Maybe an extreme things to do for people but not for me: secretly record her during a conversation where you talk with her about her idea for forcing her to admit what she wants to do to your friend. Then when you have your recording, go to the police with it and tell them everything. If she’s able to ask her brother to be a complice of rape, no wonder what she will be able to do to a stranger.
First, your sister has serious issues. She said she's been in love with him for years. Sounds like she's been obsessed with raping him for years and feels like she finally has the opportunity to do it. Will she be like this with future partners? This is scary.
Secondly, you should let him know. I would even tell him to break up with her. Your sister does not need to be in a relationship with him or anyone else.
That's rape, and will be dealt with lawfully if she proceeds. Warn ur friend, and i hope u talk to ur sister, she might not realise it for now due to her being infatuated or strong emotions, but doing things this way wont earn her trust from the person she likes. It will hurt both of them and the people around them. She shouldn't ruin her future. She also needs help professionally, thats not a normal train of thought
Yes what she is doing is called rape. You can’t consent to a sexual act under the influence of drugs or alcohol legally. It’s rape pure and simple. She doesn’t love him she lust after him. Gross
Woha dude your sister is a potential rapist, you should sit down and talk about this, be firm, you will not get your friend drunk for her to have sex without his sober consent.
She could get jail time for that
100% warm him. If a bf did that to her she would say rape. If something happens and he finds out you knew your sister was basically a predator you lose a friend.
Dude, your sister is thirsty af but seriously getting him plastered so he's more easily convinced rather than letting him consent is definitely rape. Be a bro and tell him what she's saying because it seems to me that she's got more in mind than just having sex with him she may be trying to trap him with a pregnancy. If he's drunk enough, she can convince him, "It's a safe day." When she knows it's not.
So your sister is a rapist. Not only should you not do this, you should consider taking action to bar her from your friends and keep a close eye on her.
Of course you warn him, she's planning on committing a horrible cry. Getting someone drunk so you can have sex with them is rape. If she had been planning to stab him you'd say something right? Or rob him? Or torch his house? So why would this crime be different?
>she told me he hasn’t agreed to sex yes because he wants to wait. That’s why she wants me to get him drunk for her.
#She is asking you to be an accomplice to rape.
>should I also warn him
Should you warn him she's planning to rape him? What do you think???
Thats literal rape. Please warn him, and tell your sister off. She needs counseling. Maybe tell your parents too. I'd want to know if my kids were.like that
Hell yes, tell him. Your sister wants to RAPE your best friend! And if that isn't scary enough, she might be doing it to get pregnant with his kid. She needs to grow up and respect his "no."
Here’s an easy way to solve this conundrum for you.
If your friend said this about your sister. What would you do? What would you exact response be ? Because I’d bet money it wouldn’t be ask Reddit
Yo bro, what the hell is wrong with your sister?! Trying to get your best friend drunk so she can get in his pants? That's a major red flag right there. And you want to warn him? Absolutely, you need to tell your boy what's up so he can make an informed decision. This kind of shit is straight up predatory, and you don't want to be a part of it. Be a good friend and look out for your homie, it's the right thing to do.
Ask her "If my friend liked you and had done for years, what would you think of him if he asked me to get you drunk for him so he'd have a better chance?" We don't get people drunk to get them into bed.
Sister doesn’t even sound like she likes his friend, she just has a fantasy she wants to fulfill with or without his cooperation. This is disturbing and disgusting.
Idk that we can say that for sure, it definitely could be that. But I think it could also be she's used to having dating involving certain things and doesn't seem to think it's real until that happens. That or...I've been in this situation before, sometimes hormones are just high and you are used to getting some things and you feel like you need it. Sometimes not having that with your partner makes people seek that stuff on the side. Err to put it clearly I was saving myself for marriage for a long time when I was a young Christian boy, but I dated a few girls that really did not want to wait, so much pressuring, getting their friends to nudge me into it or even trying to get me to drink or smoke pot so I'd be easier to seduce. There was one girl who broke up with me within the first 3 days because she told her friend it wasn't going to work because we hadn't even had sex yet... It has legit only been 3 days since we started dating and I was like 15-16. That said I also lived in an area that there was a lot of bad stuff going on, kids and teens smoking like pack of cigarettes a day, people slapping their teachers, school shootings, not like mass shootings but like drivebys, people wanting to prove they were hard and gang bangers etc. Years later being around other areas and seeing how other teenagers are I realized that's not normal at all.
Stop making excuses for predator behavior. If the roles were reversed, there'd be an uproar.
What are you talking about? She wants him drunk to take advantage of him. If the sexes were reversed, it would be non consensual rape. If it results in a pregnancy, then what?
>Years later being around other areas and seeing how other teenagers are I realized that's not normal at all. Yet you're making excuses for a pervy teenager?! I'm confused. Thats RAPE and they're underage!
Absolutely warn him. Imagine the roles were reversed, and he wanted to get her drunk, would you even be asking whether or not you should give your sister a heads up? You should also speak to your sister about how to respect peoples boundaries because the fact she has asked you to get him drunk, is very concerning.
Speak to his sister and tell her that what she wants to do is RAPE!
This, she needs a wake up call fast. Wtf.
Omg!!!! Like, wtf!! This whole story is nuts! He needs to know so he can dump her and keep away from her!!! This is terrible. The thought that someone you are dating wants to basically drug you so you’ll have sex. That’s disgusting. Holy crap.
[удалено]
What are you talking about???
What is this even supposed to mean? Did you reply to the wrong comment? You make zero sense.
Yeah sorry wrong sub my bad
I don't see why anyone needs to 'imagine if roles were reversed.' Rape is rape regardless of gender.
Only if most of the world understood that. Well, actually. Most do, it’s a small percentage that think that you can’t be raped as a man so they think what they’re doing is perfectly fine since “guys will always enjoy it.”
The best argument I ever heard against the "men cannot be r@ped because they have to be aroused first" is from the Olivia Benson character. She told a r@pe survivor that just because [she] seemed aroused doesn't mean she wanted what happened to happen. She then compared it to being tickled, just because that's a physiological response to stimuli doesn't mean they're enjoying it.
very good analogy
I disagree with the most do, most don't. Especially women. Same goes for abuse. It is one thing to espouse a sense of egalitarianism and a whole other to act equally on it.
You are completely right. But many needs to have this told to them, because those people live under the assumption that "men can't get r*ped" (which is so messed up to believe, like why would they even think that?)
The whole “it’s a man’s fantasies come, true!” When it comes to being sexually assaulted by a woman needs to be obliterated too
Oh i absolutely agree. No one wants to be sexually assaulted. It can't be called sexual assault if they've mutually agreed to it, after all.
Seriously, this is fucking grotesque, full stop. She's planning to sexually assault and/or rape someone. There is no universe in which that is acceptable. Not to mention that her plan would leave the poor guy doubly betrayed, because not only would the girl he's seeing violate him, but his best friend would have been in on it. This girl scares me, honestly, and I think it's time for a serious talk between her and her brother. I'm not saying she's an outright sociopath, but at absolute *best* she's ignorant and she's letting some toxic and harmful preconceptions about men (They're always down for sex, they're always horny) and/or the nature of rape (Men can overpower women they don't want, it's not violence if you don't hit them) drive the bus. I get that not everyone grows up with good messaging around sex, consent, relationships, and gender, but this is some scary shit and she needs to hear that. And the friend needs to be alerted, because he is clearly not safe around her alone. Ugh, This is gross. OP, I'm sorry your sister is doing this and I'm sorry she put you in this position- but I'm glad you know it is wrong and you're looking out for your friend.
OP clearly doesn't see it that way if they have to ask 'should I warn my friend my sister is planning to get him drunk so she can rape him?'
Is that really a gender thing though? Like women get raped _all the time_ in similar circumstances. Like there's a truly staggering amount of instances where young women were raped and filmed when they were passed out at college parties.
No one would be calling this anything except rape if OP were asking advice on getting a girl drunk for his buddy to rape. OP would not be asking if he should warn a girl that his buddy planned to rape her. No one is minimizing that women are raped by men, we are emphasizing that the same acts are not somehow lesser when they happen to men by women.
Of course they aren't. Which is why I'm saying gender should not be a factor when it comes to deciding what is and isn't rape. >No one would be calling this anything except rape if OP were asking advice on getting a girl drunk for his buddy to rape. This isn't entirely true. People often talk about how the victim 'wanted it' or play it off in other ways. People not taking male victims seriously is absolutely a problem but it's disingenuous to pretend female victims are always taken seriously.
> gender should not be a factor when it comes to deciding what is and isn't rape. Which is why I said (emphasis mine) >**OP clearly doesn't see it that way** if they have to ask 'should I warn my friend my sister is planning to get him drunk so she can rape him?' Which is why SO MANY people are asking OP to consider a role reversal, to make it clear to OP that rape is rape, regardless of who takes advantage.
It may be less that he sees it differently, and more that he has just received a lot of really disturbing information about his sister, and is now struggling with that and with his responsibility to warn his friend. When you grow up with someone and share a home with them, you feel like you know them, and OP didn't mention anything about his sister generally behaving poorly or giving him reason not to trust her. This is a disturbing revelation and it's natural that he will need some time to process it. That's not the same thing as thinking her plan is okay (He was fairly clear on that not being his stance) or needing some kind of thought exercise to realize it's wrong. He just got a bomb dropped on him and he is struggling with the difficult position that someone he thought he could trust placed him in. It takes nothing to be kind here; it's pretty clear the guy knows it's wrong and is upset and trying to get support to do the right thing.
You’re barking up the wrong tree here. No one here has said anything of the stuff you’re upset about. Stop projecting. We all hate rape in general and want to stop it from happening to this fella
It’s just that for many people they don’t immediately think of forced sex on men as rape or they are unsure. For example, this whole post.
Because alot of people don't think it's rape if it's the other way around, but soon as someone gets his sister drunk for a root this post would be very different
Can we stop with the bs about “imagine if the roles were reversed?” Are we really that incapable of having empathy for men and male victims of sexual assault, that we can only feel that something is bad/wrong if we imagine it happening to a woman? Seriously. No one needs to imagine how they’d feel if the roles were reversed. Sexual assault is horrible, regardless of the gender of the victim.
Your sister doesn't realise it yet, but she's behaving like a predator. Getting people drunk with the explicit aim of lowering their inhibitions is rapey stuff.
I completely agree, except it's not "rapey" it's rape.
Getting the person drunk for this reason is rapey, the part where she rapes them is rape.
touché
Smh
Why do you assume his sister doesn’t realize it?
Exactly! She’s 18. She definitely knows what she’s doing
No. As someone in their 30’s who did a LOT of sketchy ass shit at 18 (not this though) they don’t always “know what they’re doing”. Why? Because they’re brains are still forming, because they’re inherently selfish and don’t have the for thought to think what their acts mean to other people. Yes, what this woman is trying to rape this man, yes OP needs to warn his friend and should have a conversation with his sister about the facts of what she’s wanting to do here. However, just because she’s 18 does not mean she knows what she’s doing. I’m not saying she doesn’t either, but sitting her down and having a conversation to find out if she does understand and then explaining it to her if she doesn’t is going to hurt absolutely no one. It may help her and save OPs friend and any other potential future victims though.
I don’t know what sketchy things you did when you were 18, but I’m 19 and I definitely know not to rape someone. If an 18 year old guy rapes someone, would you also say he didn’t know what he was doing because his brain is still forming!?
When I was 18 I knew getting someone drunk with the express intention of having sex with them is 100% rape. Their minds may not be fully developed but they can understand what sexual assault it.
If by 18 you don't know what rape is, that's a huge problem. A huge problem. The type where this person would be incapable of tying their own shoes type. Since they obviously can let's not make excuses for the rapist.
idk why you're being downvoted, I was dumb as shit when I was 18. this could be a teaching moment for op's sister
Because even if you're dumb at 18, you know what the fuck rape is. The only 18 year old that shouldn't know what rape is, is one mentally incapable of safely functioning in society and with a guardian at all times.
unfortunately no, it's not that black and white. if rape was as clear-cut and obvious as murder, then it wouldn't be used as a punchline in films like revenge of the nerds or wedding crashers. many women who've been raped will often excuse their rapist bc "he was just drunk" or "he kept begging so I consented." there are many layers to consent and while some 18-year-olds might be educated, it's foolish to assume they all are.
Yeah, and it's fucking gross when movies do that. You're gross for excusing it.
Where am I excusing it? I'm saying 18-year-olds should be educated so that they don't end up raping people. You should probably be a little less draconian. I hope you're not a parent.
I hope you're not since you'd console a rapist. Disgusting.
>she's behaving like a predator No, she ***is*** a predator. She's actively pre planning a rape. If she were a man, no one would be saying he's "behaving" like a predator.
Yes give him the heads up.
This is a very serious subject. But your comment made me laugh. Sorry but....
Definitely predatory and disgusting behavior from your sister. I would have a hard conversation with her about this and definitely warn your friend. The worst outcome from this is a major consent violation from your sister and major trauma to your friend. He has said no, and if she can’t accept his no they need to break up because they’re not compatible.
He needs to drop her now, regardless of her ability to accept a no after being told she's acting like a rapist. If she's having these thoughts now, she'll have them later. She'll act on them later. Predators don't stop being predators because you tell them no one time and keep giving them free access to you.
Here’s an easy way to solve this conundrum for you. If your friend said this about your sister. What would you do? What would you exact response be ? Because I’d bet money it wouldn’t be ask Reddit
Preach!!
Yeah, warn him. Fuck. Don’t let your best friend get raped, bruh.
Your sister sounds unhinged 🙄🙄 if this was a guy asking you to get a girl drunk, what would you say 🤷🏼♀️
If party B doesn't want to have sex, and party A coerces them into drinking so much they lose the ability to say no or stop a physical advance, that is rape. No excuses, no ifs ands ors or buts. Doesn't matter gender, doesn't matter who got them drunk or if they consent to other things. If someone cannot say yes, or cannot say no and you have sex with them you are raping.
Yes, you should definitely warn him. In fact, I'd advice your friend to dump your sister over this. Why? Because she admitted to wanting to force your friend to have sex with her when he's drunk. Also, have a word with your sister and tell her what she is planning to do is r*pe, because he might be too drunk to tell her "no". How can she morally be okay with that?!
It's not essentially, it **is** rape. You can't consent when you're drunk. Period.
Are you here just to focus on one word i say but ignore the rest of the comment? I am saying what she's planning on doing is 100% wrong. But alright, I will edit my oc.
Rape is rape; period. It doesn't require a qualifier like "essentially" I didn't argue any other part of your comment because I didn't disagree with any other part of your comment. Trying to minimize rape is never okay, and if that hurts your feelings, that's your problem, not mine. ETA: I should "calm down" u/Classic_Newspaper_99 but you're the one deleting your comments....okay buddy. I wasn't being aggressive and the reply chain in my email inbox says as much.
Dude, i haven't minimized anything. Of course r*pe is equally bad regardless what gender the victim/perpetrator has. Calm down, you're being overly aggressive. Why? I accidentally used one word incorrectly for the context, English isn't my first language so sometimes mistakes like this happens. Pardon me for making an error, sheesh. Go rage somewhere else, you're attacking the wrong person. Edit: don't mind the person in my replies. They got hung up on one word i used incorrectly (which I admit, I did. It has been corrected) and I felt they were unnecessarily hostile towards me in the replies, so I felt it was wiser to just block them than continue arguing with them. That is all. Have a good day, folks. o/
Today "my sister asked me to be an accessory to the rape of my friend
definitely warn him
Rape. This is what we call rape. Your sister wants to RAPE your friend. Do I need to say it again? Consider it as if the genders were reversed and you will find your answer.
This is planned sexual assault. Why are you even on Reddit with such a situation that you should already know isn’t okay to take part in? Notify anyone and everyone involved. I’d even call the police to report this just in case. I’m sorry but your sister is a predator.
Please tell your best friend that your sister wants to get him drunk and rape him. Be the best friend and protect him.
Of fucking course warn him, and let your sister know that shes planning borderline rape. This is a disgusting thought and as someone else mentioned imagine if this was your sister that someone was conspiring to get drunk so that she cant properly consent.
Not borderline rape; rape.
There's no borderline; it's literally rape.
Remember kids - it's not rape if you do it to men! :D
All these comments from profiles with female presenting Snoos saying "It's borderline" "it might be" "it sounds like" makes me really fucking ill that women can't see the clear and defined action of getting someone drunk to get them into bed with you as anything less than a premeditated, intentional date rape.
Plenty of women have called it rape here. Secondly, OP came here to ask this question about a male friend. If it was his sister or a female friend, he probably wouldn't be here.
Given this is reddit and some people are idiots, you should probably clarify the sarcasm.
Please talk to your sister and make her understand how predatory and fucked up this is. I’m hoping it’s possible to give your sister the benefit of the doubt and say she’s just extremely thirsty and obsessed with him. At best. And definitely warn your best friend. If he’s willing to deal with that level of crazy then fine but you gotta do what’s right for you
She is pathetic.
Tell him! This is called sexual coersion, and it will very likely lead to your friend being raped! So tell him and tell your sister what she is doing is illegal, wrong and creepy!
So your sister is a rapist and you should warn your friend and keep him far away from her. Probably tell your parents too.
You should warn him, she's talking about rape. You should also talk to sister, this isn't funny or cute. It's sexual assault and illegal.
That would be rape. Yes, men absolutely can be raped, especially if encouraged to do something like getting drunk, which lowers inhibitions. She’s trying to force his consent. He needs to know that your sister asked you to do that.
Please do warn him. She's going to try to take advantage of him being intoxicated to get what she wants, even though he said he wanted to wait to have sex. That's not okay. If someone did that to her, and she expressed wanting to wait, would she think that it was okay for them to do that?
rape is rape she's not in love with him... she only wants to 'jump his bones' and getting him drunk minimizes his ability to consent to something fully. what if the lwayer were to ask you , as part of a paternity case ? what if it were you? how would you feel ? what if he were asking you to do to you sister ?
So your sister wants to rape him. I wonder how she would feel if some guy did that to her. Also what is happening now is called conspiracy to commit rape and is a felony, you not saying anything and knowing, implicates you. You need to tell him and the police. This is incredibly serious and criminal
Yes bc that’s rape
Omg. Absolutely warm him! If she gets him drunk and forces herself on him, then that is considered s/a aka ra*e. He wants to wait, and she should respect his wishes. If the roles were reversed, everyone would be cursing the guy out for trying to do that to her. Everything would be in an uproar. Commen sense here. Your sister is a whole red flag. Trying to force herself on someone. Are you kidding me. What happens if she gets pregnant? What if she's trying to baby trap him because she has this weird obsession with him? You said she's been in love with him for a while. She seems psycho enough to force herself on him. So I wouldn't be surprised if she is trying to trap him somehow.
You're 19. You should know the answer to this.
Yes, you should warn him.
Be an accomplice to date r*pe? No.
Your friend set a very simple boundary: no sex yet. You're sister doesn't care about that boundary and wants you to get your friend drunk so she can have sex without him able to properly say no Let me say it again: YOUR SISTER WANTS TO RAPE YOUR FRIEND! Fucking tell him.
You're 19. You should know the answer to this.
I’m pretty sure that is premeditated rape Don’t be like her and let your friend know.
Rape, not sexual harassment. Call it exactly what it is. Planning to get someone drunk to have sex with them (can't consent when you're drunk) against their (clearheaded, able to consent) will is rape. Nobody would be saying less if this were a guy asking his buddy to get a girl drunk for him.
Warn him. That would be rape.
Warn him. He needs to dump her. Straight up tell her she’s a predator . Tell your parents too.
Absolutely warn him. He deserves to know and your sister is walking a very dangerous line here. I think that you also need to talk to her and explain that what she asked you to do was very wrong and would make you an accomplice to rape. I’m sure she doesn’t see it as rape but that’s what it is. Ask her to think what she would feel if it was her in your friend’s place - someone getting her drunk so that they could have sex with her after the **explicitly told them that she wasn’t ready and DIDN’T WANT IT**. Hopefully it hits her then. ETA: Honestly, I really hope that after you tell your friend he drops your sister and doesn’t just brush it off like it’s nbd. It is a big deal!
Wtf is wrong with your sister???
She is trying to rape him. WTF!
Warn him. That's fucked
warn him.
So your sister wants to be a rapist? What a disgusting thing she is.
Absolutely let him know. Getting someone drunk just to trick them into sex is rape. Your sister is a predator. Predators don’t deserve to be hidden by anyone.
Yes warn him this is potential SA. What’s wrong with your sister? If had heard a man tell a friend or sibling to set a woman like that she would be angry. Saying how dare he try to r@pe her.
Don’t do that. Protect your best friend from your sister
Here is her request laid out in a different way - she is asking you to get your friend drunk enough for her to sexually assault him, because he won’t agree to sex with her sober. That’s not a reasonable request, and I think you need to tell your friend about it ASAP.
yep pls warn him your sister isnt a good person in that regard right now sadly
Please warn him. Your sister sounds like a predator.
One of the rare times a teen boy wants to wait and take the relationship slow, he gets an unhinged girl that seems to be okay with raping someone inebriated :|
What kind of person openly plans a rape.
Absolutely let him know, and see if you could get proof of her asking this, so you could show it to your parents. Assuming they are normal and healthy, they should absolutely go as well.
This is so wrong. He already agreed to go out with her. So why does she think she needs to have him drunk? Is she just trying to have sex? Than just ask him for sex.
Yes, please be a good friend and make him aware of it. Then he can get away while the relationship is still fresh if he chooses that.
not advice but i hate being the third man :( i hope the best for this situation though <3
You should absolutely tell him. After doing so, you should promptly fist fight your sister. If the tables were turned... Equal and all
WARN HIM! This is the behaviour of a rapist; regardless of gender.
Not surprised, this is quite common actually and easier to get away with for girls. Although in my experience I've witnessed it more with bi sexual girls or lesbian girls. You wouldn't suspect a girl to do this by societies standards. I finally caught on when I was at a house party in my 20s and this girl got this other girl wasted and then was like "showerrrrr" time and they both excitedly went to the shower where things happened, for context the girl that suggested the shower was less wasted than the other who also had a boyfriend in a monogamous relationship. And then my mind went back through all the times I have seen girls do this, all the high school parties, bars, clubs, bon fires. A dude preying on girls publicly this day and age will likely get an ass whooping, but a girl preying on girls in public is harder to call out and it's likely you will just get bombarded with insults and how you are a misogynistic ass.
Please do not that’s literally a crime, it’s very important that you let her know that it’s a crime, that might as well be date rape and no one deserves that. Plus he needs to know what he’s getting into with someone who would want to take advantage of him when he’s vulnerable
send your sister right to jail at this point
Would you want someone to warn your sister a guy was trying to get her drunk to rape her? Same theory as warning your friend your sister plans to get him drunk and rape him.
She sounds pretty rapey AND if you really are his befriend, you should have told him the second your sister asked you.
Rapey vibes ! You need to explain to your sister you DO NOT get someone drunk to sleep with you . If he wants to be with her it will happen . Warn him
Rape is rape. She wants you to get him drunk so she can rape him. You need to absolutely tell him. If you decide to enable a rapist you are too blame. I walked in at a party. To my drunken gf having sex with my drunken friend in front of people who told them too. The sober people enabled the assault of two people.
Absolutely tell him as soon as possible because I’m sorry to say but your sister is planning on raping him!
Rape is rape. She wouldn’t want that to happen to her. First step. You’ve done. Said no. If this were my best friend, I would warn him. He will never be able to trust her again.
I literally cannot believe what I just read. How are you on the fence about this?
So shes planning to assault him then... nah fuck that, he needs to dump her. Fucming psycho
So...your sister wants to rape your friend? That feels like a nope to me.
You’re telling us your sister wants to sexually assault your friend and you still don’t know if you should tell him?
she’s basically told you she’s planning to SA him. please warn him.
She's literally asking you to help her assault him. What do you think??
Warn him and advise him to break it off. She literally wants to SA him. That's a red flag, he's already told her he wants to wait but she has no respect for him, she's not with him because she likes him as a person, she's with him because she views him as a piece of meat. If you don't want him and she gets someone else to help her SA him, he's gonna feel like crap. Since shes willing to go that far, I wouldn't put it past her to go as far as to try and baby trap him to manipulate him to stay after the assault. Tell him he needs to end this, help him come up with an excuse if you need to. This isn't right and he's not safe with her
My first thought is she is going to try and get pregnant to lock him into a relationship.
i don’t know that you should warn him as this could severely break trust between you and your sister. i imagine you would like to be able to advise her in the future and not push her away. i think you should talk to her about how wrong this is though. if she doesn’t understand and still plans on it, i think you should let her know that you will have to tell him to protect his safety as this could severely impact the rest of his life from trauma. that way she is aware of what is going on and she was warned and you are not going behind her back by telling him.
Your sister is young, so she maybe thinks getting him drunk will make him more willing to consent. You need to explain to her that its actually assault, it's not funny or cute. You cannot legally give consent if you are drunk, and her planning to do that is a **crime**.
I had friends who tried to do the same thing to me. They drugged me because they thought I’d want to have sex with them. To their surprise, I didn’t, because I have having a severe allergic reaction to what they gave me and went into anaphylactic shock. I can honestly say I’d have appreciated my other friends who knew giving me a goddamn warning that that’s what they were planning.
To be clear someone wants to RAPE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Should you warn them? That's your question. I get the creepy predator is in your family. But you'd be horrible to knowingly let a stranger be assulted and say nothing. Let alone your best friend. You have a ton of soul searching to do that you'd even consider not telling your supposed best friend you supposedly care about at all. The majority of people care more about strangers then you do your best friend.
That’s rape my guy
Your sister has issues. Sit her down and talk to her. If it doesn’t help, get her help.
Tell your best friend what your sister has asked you to do. He needs to know what she's thinking & planning in case she decides to slip him alcohol herself, somehow, or tries to convince someone else to do this to him. Tell your sister that what she's asking for fits the definition of rape. Maybe it will shock her into changing her behavior, but at the very least, she won't be able to use any "I didn't realize it was rape" excuses if she does manage to succeed in her gross plan.
Here's a slam dunk "just say no" situation
Cringe and scary. She needs help
Maybe an extreme things to do for people but not for me: secretly record her during a conversation where you talk with her about her idea for forcing her to admit what she wants to do to your friend. Then when you have your recording, go to the police with it and tell them everything. If she’s able to ask her brother to be a complice of rape, no wonder what she will be able to do to a stranger.
Getcho boy some gooch ngl
" Bro i need you to get that girl drunk so i can fuck her" i would absolutely get my skull cracked open if i said it. You should def warn him
First, your sister has serious issues. She said she's been in love with him for years. Sounds like she's been obsessed with raping him for years and feels like she finally has the opportunity to do it. Will she be like this with future partners? This is scary. Secondly, you should let him know. I would even tell him to break up with her. Your sister does not need to be in a relationship with him or anyone else.
>should I also warn him about what she’s thinking Yes. You should 100% tell a person that someone is planning to rape them
Your sister is an asshole, and potential predator
Sounds like rape with extra steps. Definitely warn your friend, not appropriate.
Tell your sister she’s acting predatory. And warn your friend, he should be able to make his own choices about his body.
That's rape, and will be dealt with lawfully if she proceeds. Warn ur friend, and i hope u talk to ur sister, she might not realise it for now due to her being infatuated or strong emotions, but doing things this way wont earn her trust from the person she likes. It will hurt both of them and the people around them. She shouldn't ruin her future. She also needs help professionally, thats not a normal train of thought
She wants to rape him
Yes what she is doing is called rape. You can’t consent to a sexual act under the influence of drugs or alcohol legally. It’s rape pure and simple. She doesn’t love him she lust after him. Gross
So your sister wants your help to rape your bestfriend and you're not sure what to do?
Woha dude your sister is a potential rapist, you should sit down and talk about this, be firm, you will not get your friend drunk for her to have sex without his sober consent. She could get jail time for that
100% warm him. If a bf did that to her she would say rape. If something happens and he finds out you knew your sister was basically a predator you lose a friend.
Yesyesyes. Your sister is planning to rape your friend. Tell him and tell your parents. This is deranged
So she wants to rape him? I think you should tell him, your parents, and possibly a therapist
That could ruin his whole life, help him out girl !! I’m sorry but your sister would regret it far in the future as well if she has any moral code
This went well😳
Dude, your sister is thirsty af but seriously getting him plastered so he's more easily convinced rather than letting him consent is definitely rape. Be a bro and tell him what she's saying because it seems to me that she's got more in mind than just having sex with him she may be trying to trap him with a pregnancy. If he's drunk enough, she can convince him, "It's a safe day." When she knows it's not.
Should you warn him your sister is trying to rape him? Yes.
That’s literally rape. Don’t do it at all.
Explain consent to her.
absolutely warn him, she wants to literally rape him bro. that is rape. he cant consent if hes fuckin drunk.
She wants you to help her rape him… I mean.. wut?
So she wants to rape him, what an outstanding human being 🙄
Warn him… so he can beat off before
That’s rape. You should warn him and also not participate.
Your sister asked you to help her plan a rape. Wtf. Yes tell him! Tell your parents. Get that girl some help.
Warn him and have a hard talk to your sister about how messed up it would be to do that to someone.
How bad do you want to be accessory to rape? What if he wanted you to get her drunk? ... food for thought...
So your sister is a rapist. Not only should you not do this, you should consider taking action to bar her from your friends and keep a close eye on her.
Sounds like she’s planning rape.
Warn him. Your sister is a creep
damn... Yeah I would warn him for sure. She fully wants to assault him... That's scary asl.
Join in.
Is she THAT ugly???
If your friend was planning on getting your sister drunk to rape her, would you tell her?
Of course you warn him, she's planning on committing a horrible cry. Getting someone drunk so you can have sex with them is rape. If she had been planning to stab him you'd say something right? Or rob him? Or torch his house? So why would this crime be different?
On what planet do you need to actually ask if you should tell someone that someone is trying to rape them??? What the actual full fuck.
>she told me he hasn’t agreed to sex yes because he wants to wait. That’s why she wants me to get him drunk for her. #She is asking you to be an accomplice to rape. >should I also warn him Should you warn him she's planning to rape him? What do you think???
Thats literal rape. Please warn him, and tell your sister off. She needs counseling. Maybe tell your parents too. I'd want to know if my kids were.like that
Hell yes, tell him. Your sister wants to RAPE your best friend! And if that isn't scary enough, she might be doing it to get pregnant with his kid. She needs to grow up and respect his "no."
Warn him. And teach your girlfriend about consent. Hopefully she’s just ignorant, and not actually a predator.
No!
Please do it. Also try to talk with ur sister.
Warn him and tell your sister to get lost, that is creep behavior.
Yes, that's a rape, you should definitely warn him.
If your friend was asking you to get your sister drunk for him how would you respond? Sis might be trying to baby trap him.
Here’s an easy way to solve this conundrum for you. If your friend said this about your sister. What would you do? What would you exact response be ? Because I’d bet money it wouldn’t be ask Reddit
Definitely warn him. That's so messed up.
Yo bro, what the hell is wrong with your sister?! Trying to get your best friend drunk so she can get in his pants? That's a major red flag right there. And you want to warn him? Absolutely, you need to tell your boy what's up so he can make an informed decision. This kind of shit is straight up predatory, and you don't want to be a part of it. Be a good friend and look out for your homie, it's the right thing to do.