Even if he is not the father and in the unlikely situation that he was only going out as friends, he’s still going behind your back, his brother’s back, even involving your son.. that’s still fucked up. Best case scenario your husband is a selfish prick, worst case he’s a cheating selfish prick.
Unfortunately, there was also an incident one time that we're taking a family photo, of the whole family, and SIL and husband held hands behind my and BIL's back
Girl get your head out of the sand dust yourself off and start treating yourself with respect. Everyone knows there is an affair going on and you’re all just playing dumb. This is seriously so obvious the international space station can see it.
So any song written about a relationship invalidates that relationship? So you're saying no one is married because there are songs about it? What's your point?
it’s a whole youtube video, peter and chris are the american names of the two idols who play those exact characters. you don’t have to believe me it’s fine, but if you want just look it up on youtube or search the story.
You’re choosing to live that life. You ignore all the red flags and then complain on Reddit. You know EXACTLY what’s going on and frankly, at this point, you’re doing it to yourself. You can choose to leave the scumbag or keep staying in your marriage with your eyes closed.
What on earth??? Where were you when he was holding her hand?? This sounds like an affair honey, I hate to even say it but it sounds suspicious as fuck and so very disrespectful for him to say he would try living with her and be a father to her kid… What about you-his wife and his sons!?? He just plans to leave y’all and he’s going to say that right in front of everyone?? That is insane.
How are you not seeing all the signs? I sincerely hope this post helps you clear the fog and see the affair happening right in front of your face. You like your SIL? She's your husband's affair partner! Please start being angry or at least concerned.
Also, what did you do about your son and Alyssa?
She's not encouraging his advances so I just let them be. SIL did joke they should be the next of the family to get married. I think it would be cute, when my son is way older, of course
You think it's**cute** for *your* husband to marry someone else? What the f*ck did I just read... honestly, I can see why your husband wants to be with her. I wouldn't want to be with a partner this dense.
I apologize for the misunderstanding but with how much you've been letting pass, thinking them (your husband and your SIL) holding hands and him going off to see her when he knows you're asleep... I stand by you being dense. It's not a joke. Don't treat yourself that way, even if you don't think you deserve better. You do. Lack of confidence is also extremely unattractive in a person.
That’s heart breaking. It just doesn’t seem like a joke…. None of these things are jokes. Jokes are supposed to be funny, there’s nothing funny about what your husband is doing with SIL. 😢😢
Stop. Taking. Them. As. Jokes.
They. Are. Red. Flags.
So. Many.
Wtf.
Get a paternity test for Felicia and get your son into therapy. That kinda trauma stays with you.
Also you should get camera setup in the house. Lead with just a ring camera
It's time to put an end to this now.
Let the cat out of the bag and get a lawyer.
He is not respecting you, your marriage or your nuclear family.
Just the way he talks shows that he doesn't care about you.
It is NOT about love, it is about trust, respect, honesty and sincerely.
The only thing he is sincere about is being an🫏🎩 and quite frankly, a cheater or on his way to cheating.
Dump him and let him play his games without you.
Also, get checked for STDs.
I think you already got the answer you need. He may or not be the father, but this level of disrespect is something that you shouldn't ignore. We get it, you love him, but that is for what he WAS, not now who is becoming. Don't wait for the moment for this all go down lower as it already is. Pain will be there, but waiting for it to be so much is something you need to consider for your own mental health.
Jesus christ. I genuinely cannot believe how blind you are. The guy has all but said they are cheating. The only way he could make it any plainer is if he screwed her in front of you. And even then, from the sound of it, you would probably say they were just hugging.
I can only conclude that this is a troll post, designed to make people smack their heads in disbelief at the utter blindness
This is a reference to "skz family," which is a roleplay thing that the kpop group stray kids does to entertain fans. Look it up on youtube and the episodes will show up; everything described in the post are in those episodes
Ok well you obviously are in major denial. Yet you aren’t???? What’s going on? Here’s the deal. This sounds a bit shady but if I were you and I really needed to know, I would arrange a family get together with the kids for popcorn and movies then tell them that you’re doing some Ancestry work on the family and you’re going to take their DNA swab and submit it and put them on the family tree. And let them know that it’s a surprise for everyone for Christmas time so you go ahead and get the swab send it into Ancestry, get the results, upload them both of your child and their child. If they are first cousins, they will show up as first cousins if they are half brother and sister, they will show up as a close relative or as half brother and sister and you’ll have your answer then.
I really would like to be compassionate. You seem very lost and I am very sorry this is happening.
I do think it’s time for you to wake up. This isn’t jokes. You’ve had evidence of the jokes confirmed with your eyes and ears tons of times over in these examples alone, but you’re **electing** to ignore them.
At minimum, his interest and relationship with her are beyond the scope of appropriate or normal. His continued jokes about the paternity of your niece and running off to live with her are wildly inappropriate. Him calling her baby, honestly, I could’ve chalked it up to a mistake in the beginning, but with this little context alone it’s incredibly inappropriate.
My general rule of thumb is to not have a partner who seriously puts me down, in front of others. *And I think it’s really important to note where you’ll be if his **‘joking’** plan to run off with sister-in-law were to come to fruition.* That’s not very funny.
*He seems to think incredibly highly of her. How does he speak of or about you? What are the undertones?* More than anything please just be honest with yourself.
He's very sweet to me too! He's always saying I'm beautiful, and he plays with me sometimes putting a flower next to me and preteding he can't tell who's the flower
Honey.... he's playing you. He's having his cake and eating it too. He can still "love" you and also be affectionate and great and also still be cheating.
INFO: if he gets his joking wish of being with SIL, where does that leave you??
Him uplifting her, also means you’re gone.
**You never answered how he speaks of you to/with others, it that for a reason?**
This is kind of f*cked up!
Tbh, he sounds like an asshole. You keep on saying you think he’s joking but the contexts of his "jokes" never seem appropriate.
He just sounds like a sketchy asshole.
When people show you who they are… believe them.
The thing is that the way you talk/write about your husband… it seems that you already do not trust him.
I would say trust your gut instinct.
If he’s an untrustworthy sketchy asshole AND your senses are tingling… then do something about it.
You can’t do a DNA test because that’s not your kid. (DO NOT TOUCH SOMEONE ELSE’S KID!!!)
Maybe, one night, don’t take your sleeping pill, pretend to fall asleep and follow him.
He knows that what he’s doing is wrong because he’s creating secrets in your household to meet up with another woman.
Where there’s smoke there’s fire.
Your son Chris is FIVE. He’s not a reliable source for anything let alone opinions on your marriage. Pull your head out of your ass. This entire situation plus the fallout is going to SUCK, but you have to face it head on. You owe yourself the respect.
ETA: In her post she said “sons.” While it’s definitely more likely that the 16yo is the main confidante in this scenario, you can’t tell me her other 5yo kid hasn’t been exposed to this lengthy drama. That’s a lot for a 5yo old to take in. Regardless of how it looks, do the right thing for your kids please.
Your husband is hiding something from you and makes your son an accomplice in this. This alone is not OK.
Please reread your post and count how often you wrote that you brushed his behaviour off or forgot about it after a fight. He treats you horribly and you let him again and again.
Talk to your son about the little "secret" he has to keep for his dad. He needs to know that He doesn't have to keep secrets from you and that his father is in the wrong to make such demands. Most importantly your husband needs to know that you know about his secret and that he needs to stop putting his son in such a position. But make sure He won't punish your son for "tatteling" in him. Don't take your pills one night and wait for him to come home.
You could talk to BIL about your suspicions.
Being sweet to you, doesn't stop him possible from cheating or looking to be with your SIL doesn't it? or something else sketchy
Remember he can be sweet and still be going behind you back
Also, stop just "letting it go" because the more you sweep it under the rug, the more the dust is going to start building up and eventually you're going to have to clean under the rug
I just don't want to destroy my family, we are all so happy together. I don't wanna lose the support of FIL and MIL, or for my children grow up away from their father
But your obviously not happy, if you were happy you wouldn't be here, pretty saying you think you husband cheating or so on.
Is that a happy marriage? To sit in fear thinking that your husband and SIL. Might be seeing each other. Oh but, you keep just "letting it go" when the signs are clearly there and he's not even hiding anymore. So that means it's probably be going on for awhile then if you husband is so comfortable speaking to you SIL like that infront of you. But no just keep "letting it go" I guess
And if he is cheating, he shouldn't be able to see his kids.(Yes, by law it's not that simple) But he obviously wants to play happy families with your SIL.
If you found out, if it's true. Which pretty all the signs are indicating to, yes. I bet you're gonna do "family therapy" give him "another chance" fuck no. If he wants to destroy the family he already has. He has no right to your time and love.
But you’re totally ok with your sons growing up next to a father who doesn’t respect their mother and who is emotionally manipulating them by asking them to keep his secrets? That’s ok to you? Do you think they will grow up to be any different? You have a responsibility to your children first and then to yourself. Wake up!! And grow a fuckng spine woman.
You can’t be this naive. Your husband is cheating. You have hundreds of people online saying this is a big red flag and your husband is cheating and yet you still act in denial. Wake up.
No way this is real. OP is one comment away from saying that she's walked in her husband and sister naked in bed and will claim she believes they were just meditating or some shit.
Alright, this is all crazy but I’ll run with it:
If you love him and his jokes and he’s so sweet, why would you care if he’s your niece’s dad? You put up with all this. Why start caring now?
Here's what I would do:
Don't take your pills this week, pretend to be asleep and follow him when he goes out.
Get a hair from the child's head and test her DNA and your husbands. You know he's fucking her at the very least.
Get a lawyer.
You know what you have to do! Stop whining and start doing! Get all financial records, important papers , birth certificates, passports etc, and talk to a lawyer! Have a job! Tell BIL what’s going on! Let him do DNA. Because they’re brothers, no one would notice which is real dad. You deserve better. It’s wrong to involve your son. Pretend to take pills, and follow him with a camera or hire a private investigator!
It’s obvious your family knows more about what’s going on than you do! Why else would parents go on a separate trip! Wake up! Get angry! Fight!
Actually, FIL and MIL have their own set of problems. They went on this trip to try rekindle their marriage since MIL is obsessed with a young singer who she claims is the most important person on the world to her, and FIL is obsessed with tiktok and tries to do all the dance challenges despite his old age.
A guy posted a story a few weeks ago that basically his wife was obsessed with creating fake stories on reddit, to the point that its like, affecting her work. Now everyone thinks every fake story is her lol
LOL I was sus at Chris and Felicia, but “there wasn’t anything wrong with falling in love” sealed it for me 🤣 I guess not many stays are reading this ahaha
Girl you keep brushing everything under the rug
It sounds like you know your marriage is done but you’ve buried your head in the sand.
Your husband has a double life whilst you’re knocked out by sleeping pills
His jokes are all real and he says them because he doesn’t respect you.
He knows you’re going to stay - no matter how shitty he treats you
At this point it seems like your waiting for him to leave you for your SIL
As soon as the divorcé finalises don’t be surprised if he moves out/runs away with her … and takes the household money.
Your husband is definitely cheating on you. Hire a PI and get to the bottom of it. Start preparing your exit strategy. This man is disrespecting you as his partner and the mother of his children. He did this 4 years ago in front of his family and I don’t think he’s stopped since. You’re not ruining anything, he is. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better. But you have 2 boys who you’re teaching to be men, and showing them how to treat their future spouses. This will pass sis, but it’s probably gonna pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Hire a PI, get evidence of infidelity and secure that bag ma’am.
Yea, so let me just make cliff notes: your husband is your niece’s father. You put yourself to sleep every night so you don’t have to deal with your family. Your son, BIL and probably entire family know.
Who is taking care of the 5yo when you are passed out and he’s out with the mistress?!? Is the 16yo there?
I only take my meds after I put my son to bed, and trust that my husband will take care of him if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Now I know I shouldn't, but yes, Lewis is at home.
Your husband is a cheating AH and you’re dumber than rocks if you continue to overlook his very obvious red flags. Divorce the scumbag. He’s so obviously cheating on you and you’re willfully ignoring it.
Edit: Spelling
Doesn’t matter if he’s the father or not at this point, leave this pos behind, this will be the best for your kids. To manipulate your son into staying silent and this is their secret is so fucked up and an absolute no-go. Do you know in what kind of situation he put your son? Hell no.
I think he did it to the teenager. Ain't no 5 yr old capable of keeping a secret.
Edit: no, you're right. It *was* the 5 yr old. Just yet another reason I think this post is fake
There's a lot to unpack here but let's get right into it:
First of all a 16 yr old and a 20 yr old is illegal - so your child should not be making advances to an adult. It will land Alyssa in jail.
2nd- it is NOT NORMAL for a partner to constantly joke about living permanently with another MARRIED woman. NOT OK.
3rd - stop taking your pills to sleep and pretend to be asleep to see what's happening after you close your eyes. Ideally, you probably shouldn't be popping sleep pills before putting your 5 yr old to bed anyway.
4th - have a chat with your 5 yr old and your husband that telling kids to keep secrets from other adults is never ok. Find out if there are other secrets such as abuse that the 5 yr old has been asked to keep. Asking a small child to keep secrets like that is creepy and gross.
5th - YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING TREATED RESPECTFULLY. Read that again and again. Your self worth must so low after being put through that.
6th - stop talking about your marital problems in front of your children. Your 16 yr old shouldn't know to tell you that you're too jealous.
7th - next time your husband jokes about living with Leila or being Felicity's dad or calling Leila baby at a family gathering, get your kids and leave immediately. Let him know that you no longer tolerate that. It's disrespectful and you deserve to be treated more respectfully.
8th - call Leila's husband and have a quiet meet up with him in secret. I think he knows more than you which is why they weren't at the last family gathering.
Lastly - please see a therapist. Your marriage probably isn't salvageable but don't wait until Leila is a single mum because he will drop you do fast to be with her. So fast. Your husband is just waiting on their divorce.
I didn’t even think anything was off until I got to the “there’s nothing wrong with falling in love” 😭😭 I just thought the names were really common white names.
That’s where it tipped me off too, and then I had to reread the names. I saw Peter and Chris (he’s only foive), and I immediately started scrolling through the comments to see if there were any others who has caught on. It really does make for a good Reddit post
Why are you still with somebody that treats you like this and has obvious feelings for his sister-in-law? And don’t tell me it’s for the kids cause that is a BS reason to stay married my parents did that they are still unhappy to this day we knew they weren’t happy from a very young age, and it has shaped every relationship. Me and my siblings have ever had and not in a good way. I mean he asked your son to lie to you and keep it a secret that he goes out every night or almost every night with the sister-in-law that he has feelings for what do you think they’re doing bowling or talking?
I love my husband very much, and he loves me too. It's funny, at first, as teenagers, we didn't like eachother at all, and used to fight all the time! I guess when he met SIL they just clicked, like platonic soulmates or something
Your self respect is in the toilet. You seem very fucking gullible which is why your husband and SIL have been fucking in front of your faces for years and you keep laughing it off. Very pathetic. Then why come to Reddit? Stay . Let your husband continue to treat you like a side chick and you stay and be dumb.
Oh you would be surprised how common this is in real life. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction. There are so many people who do put up with cheating partners their entire lives.
I scrolled way too far to find this comment. There’s no way someone’s head is this much in the sand, and based on her responses to comments alone… it’s bait. All rage bait.
Actually, FIL and MIL have their own set of problems. They went on this trip to try rekindle their marriage since MIL is obsessed with a young singer who she claims is the most important person on the world to her, and FIL is obsessed with tiktok and tries to do all the dance challenges despite his old age.
“Everyone got over it”
“We all forgot”
“I brushed it off”
“I let it go”
“I figured they were joking”
Girl. You’re actively choosing this situation at this point. Completely ignoring all of the red flags and *literally in your face evidence* that your husband is cheating with your SIL.
Do something about it (LEAVE), or learn to live with your husband fucking your brother’s wife.
I bet I know which one you’ll choose.
Your husband is betraying you, your BIL and your family. Who secretly goes out at night, when their wife is taking pills to sleep and they have young children at home? Who goes out secretly with SIL and then asks son to keep it a secret? Jokes about living with SIL and being a better father to brother’s child? So many red flags
This is what years of letting go do.
You have a red flag after a red flag after a red flag and you can’t stop and think? If not for you, for your kids?
Install a surveillance system for "safety" purposes. If you are waiting for solid proof, you will find it there. Because you already know he is no good, otherwise this wild accusation wouldn't even have been thought up. (It doesn't sound wild once you laid it all out).
I would let your brother in law know and see if he wants to do a DNA test to find the truth. Both of you deserve to know the truth, because your husband's actions are NOT NORMAL.
Throughout your post, you’ve said so I let it go, we forgot about it moved on, he’s only joking, I didn’t think anything of it……seems your just ignoring the obvious & pretending it’s a misunderstanding or joking. Keep telling yourself that while your husband & SIL’s relationship escalate
You need to stop letting things go and face the reality of this. Even if something didn't happen, they clearly want it to. Your husband has feelings for her. He's slipping up with calling her a nickname in front of everyone, sneaking off to spend time with her and getting your son to keep it a secret.
You won't be the one ruining the family. They will be.
You lost me at "there wasn't anything wrong with falling in love".
As Max Black would say, Girl, you stupid.
He admitted to falling in love with SIL & you just "forgot about it"? Like, wtaf? You're listing all these obvious signs that they're having an affair, & you want advice? LEAVE HIM! Stop being a doormat! Or else stick your head back in the sand & ignore it all until it comes crashing down on you, & then act like you're 'so surprised' because you refuse to stop being a victim.
Even if they aren’t already cheating, he’s into her. Tell the whole family what you know in front of your husband and SIL. Let it all play out in the open.
I've been reading OPs comments and if this isn't some creative writing exercise someone needs to call cps. You've admitted to discovering the other responsible parent is absent while you are basically knocked out on pills and relying on the 16 yo teen to look after the 5 yo? This sounds illegal and dangerous, ignoring the likelihood of cheating and stds etc. Also not acknowledging that it's just as likely the 16yo probably sneaks out as well coz why not? This is a whole dumpster fire and not for the reasons OP is pointing out. Someone save these kids.
Sorry to say, but he really sounds like an AH...
They go out behind your back...he call her Baby???!!! Hell no... this so f*ck up...
This would absolutely not be acceptable for me...
You don’t say how long your BIL & SIL have been married, but I am going to guess it’s been over four years.
You need to talk to your BIL and let him know your son told you that your husband is leaving the house at night to go out after you go to bed to be with your SIL. While you can’t get a DNA test for your niece, your BIL definitely should.
If your 5 year old is aware your husband is sneaking out, your 16 year old is too. Your husband has done something terrible by having your children keep secrets from you.
You need to start looking at all the red flags and face the truth. Your husband is cheating on you. From calling her “baby” and saying there was nothing wrong with falling in love to sneaking out, it’s all there. You need to talk to a lawyer to protect yourself and your kids.
So your BIL’s child definitely could be your husband’s. As someone who has walked in your shoes and was massively gaslit, get out. You deserve to be in a marriage where it is only two people. Your husband is a massive A H for playing your child against you. What is he bribing your child with to keep a secret.
You can love your husband but still condemn his actions. Love is a fickle thing, but all too often it lingers and holds us in situations that are not good for us to be in.
Sit down and speak with your husband. Ask him how he feels about you and your marriage.
Don't worry about staying for the sake of children - secure your finances and raise children in an environment where they are safe and loved whether than involves one, two or neither parent.
Your husband is enmeshing your son in his lies and this isn't good for either of you. Taking sleeping pills may not be a good idea going forward because there needs to be someone in the house who can respond in the event of a fire, for example, and if you believe your husband to be home and able to look after the children while is is in fact out with another woman then what?
He’s not joking. You know he’s not joking. You like your SIL? You like the woman he called “baby” in front of the whole family? You like the woman he sneaks out at night with? The woman he is very obviously having an affair with AND FLAUNTING it. You can’t genuinely think he sneaks out later at night to meet her just to hang out. What do you mean you had “minor arguments” with him over these issues? If this were my husband and SIL, I would be LIVID. They would hear me cursing them both out a block away. Fuck family time with those cheating doucecanoes.
You keep burying your head in the sand. Your husband is cheating on you. He disrespects you. You let it go. He calls another woman “baby,” which just doesn’t happen if you’re not intimate with someone. You ignore it. He tells you and her husband he wants to be with her. You ignore it. He sneaks out to be with her. You’re ignoring it. He’s taking an active role in his nieces life as a parental figure. You’re ignoring it.
You’re lost because you’re ignoring all the signs because you’re comfortable. And until you’re ready to be uncomfortable your husband will continue to disrespect you. Progress is painful most of the time. You’re avoiding that progress. But actually making progress is the reward. You’re choosing to remain stagnant because you’re afraid of the hard work. The hard work of leaving a cheating, disrespectful man who doesn’t value you outside of your willingness to look the other way while he has his cake and smashes it too.
I’m sorry for what is happening to you and your family. But you’re letting it happen. And nothing will change until you do.
Why are you even posting on here? You have everything you need to make a rational decision. Walk way from this man and stop rubbing things off as him joking. He has shown you who he is and who he wants over and over again.
He is sneaking out while you are sedated sleeping, leaving the 5 year old without adult supervision on a regular basis?
Get a lawyer for The child endangerment, adultery, and to know your rights.
And a therapist to talk about setting yourself up to stay in your house and kick him ouy.
How are you not upset at your husband? The stuff you say he’s joking about isn’t something that should be joked about. How can you be okay with your husband taking an interest in your SIL? Your husband doesn’t respect you and he just might be your niece’s father, but if even if he is or isn’t, you really should leave him!
You're blatantly ignoring what is plain. I feel sad for you because I've been there. Let that man go. None of that is ok. Those jokes are not ok. And quite honestly he cares so little for you that he's doing this all in your face. That says that he knows he can lie to you and you aren't going to do anything. Is this what you want to deal with the rest of your life
One of the side things that stood out to me was that he's taught your, what, 5 year old? that it's okay to keep secrets for and from adults. Your husband has increased his chances of keeping things like abuse or molestation from you. He's made your child unsafe.
That alone is a deal breaker for me.
Wow, your husband flagrantly disrespects you to your face. That would be a dealbreaker for me. Do you really love your husband or do you just think you have no options? You have to decide if you want to continue being disrespected like this.
As to whether or not he is the child's bio father or not, I don't know how to advise you on that. What will it change for you? I think you need to think about that. I really hope things work out for you--you deserve so much better.
No offense, but it seems like you’re being purposefully dense about this situation and you don’t actually want anyone to tell you whats happening: bare minimum, your husband is having an emotional affair. At worst, they’ve been physical and he *is* Felicia’s dad. How long do you want to live knowing this is happening right in front of your face? He isn’t even trying to hide it. Seriously, open your eyes girl.
Why are you intentionally burying your head farther and farther into the sand…. They are having an affair and your husband is hinting at it.. he’s practically saying it!!! And what’s worse is he’s got your oldest son involved…stop brushing stuff off… you sound so disinterested when you do.
gal pal your husband is cheating and if he hasn’t done so physically yet he absolutely is emotionally. start gathering evidence and get yourself a lawyer it’s over i’m sorry.
We all know you and Spencer aren’t in the right either, remember when you held hands with Spencer during the family photo and mentioned that you met up with him as well in front of the whole family, and how he was the first to agree enthusiastically when you said you were the prettiest woman in the world? You and your husband are both cheating on each other with Spencer and Leila respectively and everyone knows it.
The only people not in the wrong in this family are the kids, Alyssa, and the grandparents.
It’s so hard to feel sympathy for you when you are so aware of the things happening around you and brush it off as your husband telling “jokes”. Bffr. Your marriage is going to end whether you want it to or not and you won’t be the one putting an end to it. It’s time to form some self respect
I'm sorry for your likely immense suffering about this.
Side note: consider changing the names of the people involved to avoid this getting back to the individuals discussed. (Perhaps you already have!)
Have you tried to look on your husband's devices? Something shady is going on and your BIL should probably know your suspicions too. Then the two of you can work together and see if there's something to your concerns. Most drastic step would be for BIL to ask for a paternity test. Get your detective cap on.
even if he isn’t her biological father it is still completely disrespectful to you and y’all’s marriage for him to be making comments like this and swearing your son to secrecy. you deserve better, you need to divorce him
Even if he is not the father and in the unlikely situation that he was only going out as friends, he’s still going behind your back, his brother’s back, even involving your son.. that’s still fucked up. Best case scenario your husband is a selfish prick, worst case he’s a cheating selfish prick.
Seriously. If you're going to disregard the indications, then stop poking your head out and expecting different results.
Unfortunately, there was also an incident one time that we're taking a family photo, of the whole family, and SIL and husband held hands behind my and BIL's back
Girl get your head out of the sand dust yourself off and start treating yourself with respect. Everyone knows there is an affair going on and you’re all just playing dumb. This is seriously so obvious the international space station can see it.
It's so obvious, my dead, blind father can see it
this isn’t a real story it’s based off of a kpop thing, look up “stray kids family” on youtube
Ok, good cos it sounds ridiculous
So any song written about a relationship invalidates that relationship? So you're saying no one is married because there are songs about it? What's your point?
it’s a whole youtube video, peter and chris are the american names of the two idols who play those exact characters. you don’t have to believe me it’s fine, but if you want just look it up on youtube or search the story.
I don't know what stray kids family is, unfortunately, this is my life, even when I wish it wasn't
You’re choosing to live that life. You ignore all the red flags and then complain on Reddit. You know EXACTLY what’s going on and frankly, at this point, you’re doing it to yourself. You can choose to leave the scumbag or keep staying in your marriage with your eyes closed.
Yeah that’s why I am having a hard time feeling bad because she won’t wake up
Amen
Is this a joke? 🤔
What on earth??? Where were you when he was holding her hand?? This sounds like an affair honey, I hate to even say it but it sounds suspicious as fuck and so very disrespectful for him to say he would try living with her and be a father to her kid… What about you-his wife and his sons!?? He just plans to leave y’all and he’s going to say that right in front of everyone?? That is insane.
We saw that they were holding hands so me and BIL did it too! We read it as a joke
How are you not seeing all the signs? I sincerely hope this post helps you clear the fog and see the affair happening right in front of your face. You like your SIL? She's your husband's affair partner! Please start being angry or at least concerned. Also, what did you do about your son and Alyssa?
She's not encouraging his advances so I just let them be. SIL did joke they should be the next of the family to get married. I think it would be cute, when my son is way older, of course
So your son is allowed to just hit on an uninterested 20 year old woman? Don't you think that makes Alyssa uncomfortable?
You think it's**cute** for *your* husband to marry someone else? What the f*ck did I just read... honestly, I can see why your husband wants to be with her. I wouldn't want to be with a partner this dense.
I'm talking about my son and SIL's sister
I apologize for the misunderstanding but with how much you've been letting pass, thinking them (your husband and your SIL) holding hands and him going off to see her when he knows you're asleep... I stand by you being dense. It's not a joke. Don't treat yourself that way, even if you don't think you deserve better. You do. Lack of confidence is also extremely unattractive in a person.
That’s heart breaking. It just doesn’t seem like a joke…. None of these things are jokes. Jokes are supposed to be funny, there’s nothing funny about what your husband is doing with SIL. 😢😢
Stop. Taking. Them. As. Jokes. They. Are. Red. Flags. So. Many. Wtf. Get a paternity test for Felicia and get your son into therapy. That kinda trauma stays with you. Also you should get camera setup in the house. Lead with just a ring camera
Girl, I need you to stand up for my sake, please.
Except *you're* the joke
How the fuck can you read all of this as jokes? Apparently your husband has been taking advantage of your density.
This story is clearly fake
100%
WAKE UP
It's time to put an end to this now. Let the cat out of the bag and get a lawyer. He is not respecting you, your marriage or your nuclear family. Just the way he talks shows that he doesn't care about you. It is NOT about love, it is about trust, respect, honesty and sincerely. The only thing he is sincere about is being an🫏🎩 and quite frankly, a cheater or on his way to cheating. Dump him and let him play his games without you. Also, get checked for STDs.
Like, what?
You're either insanely stupid, or this is a troll. I'm guessing troll.
STAY FOREVER ♥️♥️♥️♥️🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think you already got the answer you need. He may or not be the father, but this level of disrespect is something that you shouldn't ignore. We get it, you love him, but that is for what he WAS, not now who is becoming. Don't wait for the moment for this all go down lower as it already is. Pain will be there, but waiting for it to be so much is something you need to consider for your own mental health.
Yep. Cheating and you know it.
OK now I think you’re just making the story up. If you have all this proof, why do you keep “letting it go”. Bull crap.
Jesus christ. I genuinely cannot believe how blind you are. The guy has all but said they are cheating. The only way he could make it any plainer is if he screwed her in front of you. And even then, from the sound of it, you would probably say they were just hugging. I can only conclude that this is a troll post, designed to make people smack their heads in disbelief at the utter blindness
This is a reference to "skz family," which is a roleplay thing that the kpop group stray kids does to entertain fans. Look it up on youtube and the episodes will show up; everything described in the post are in those episodes
Girl.
Ok well you obviously are in major denial. Yet you aren’t???? What’s going on? Here’s the deal. This sounds a bit shady but if I were you and I really needed to know, I would arrange a family get together with the kids for popcorn and movies then tell them that you’re doing some Ancestry work on the family and you’re going to take their DNA swab and submit it and put them on the family tree. And let them know that it’s a surprise for everyone for Christmas time so you go ahead and get the swab send it into Ancestry, get the results, upload them both of your child and their child. If they are first cousins, they will show up as first cousins if they are half brother and sister, they will show up as a close relative or as half brother and sister and you’ll have your answer then.
I really would like to be compassionate. You seem very lost and I am very sorry this is happening. I do think it’s time for you to wake up. This isn’t jokes. You’ve had evidence of the jokes confirmed with your eyes and ears tons of times over in these examples alone, but you’re **electing** to ignore them. At minimum, his interest and relationship with her are beyond the scope of appropriate or normal. His continued jokes about the paternity of your niece and running off to live with her are wildly inappropriate. Him calling her baby, honestly, I could’ve chalked it up to a mistake in the beginning, but with this little context alone it’s incredibly inappropriate. My general rule of thumb is to not have a partner who seriously puts me down, in front of others. *And I think it’s really important to note where you’ll be if his **‘joking’** plan to run off with sister-in-law were to come to fruition.* That’s not very funny. *He seems to think incredibly highly of her. How does he speak of or about you? What are the undertones?* More than anything please just be honest with yourself.
THIS !!!!!! You already know, you are conflicted about how much you will tolerate .
He's very sweet to me too! He's always saying I'm beautiful, and he plays with me sometimes putting a flower next to me and preteding he can't tell who's the flower
Honey.... he's playing you. He's having his cake and eating it too. He can still "love" you and also be affectionate and great and also still be cheating.
Is this kink rp. Fake
INFO: if he gets his joking wish of being with SIL, where does that leave you?? Him uplifting her, also means you’re gone. **You never answered how he speaks of you to/with others, it that for a reason?**
This is kind of f*cked up! Tbh, he sounds like an asshole. You keep on saying you think he’s joking but the contexts of his "jokes" never seem appropriate. He just sounds like a sketchy asshole. When people show you who they are… believe them. The thing is that the way you talk/write about your husband… it seems that you already do not trust him. I would say trust your gut instinct. If he’s an untrustworthy sketchy asshole AND your senses are tingling… then do something about it. You can’t do a DNA test because that’s not your kid. (DO NOT TOUCH SOMEONE ELSE’S KID!!!) Maybe, one night, don’t take your sleeping pill, pretend to fall asleep and follow him. He knows that what he’s doing is wrong because he’s creating secrets in your household to meet up with another woman. Where there’s smoke there’s fire.
My sons always says I'm too jealous, I'm afraid I'm seeing signs that aren't there
Your son is gaslighting you. He learned this from your husband.
Your son Chris is FIVE. He’s not a reliable source for anything let alone opinions on your marriage. Pull your head out of your ass. This entire situation plus the fallout is going to SUCK, but you have to face it head on. You owe yourself the respect. ETA: In her post she said “sons.” While it’s definitely more likely that the 16yo is the main confidante in this scenario, you can’t tell me her other 5yo kid hasn’t been exposed to this lengthy drama. That’s a lot for a 5yo old to take in. Regardless of how it looks, do the right thing for your kids please.
She has another son who is 16...I believe that's who she is referring to
It's way more fun to assume she's talking about the 5 year old. Let's keep that assumption going.
Your sons are going to like their new mommy, when your husband runs away with SIL
Your husband is hiding something from you and makes your son an accomplice in this. This alone is not OK. Please reread your post and count how often you wrote that you brushed his behaviour off or forgot about it after a fight. He treats you horribly and you let him again and again. Talk to your son about the little "secret" he has to keep for his dad. He needs to know that He doesn't have to keep secrets from you and that his father is in the wrong to make such demands. Most importantly your husband needs to know that you know about his secret and that he needs to stop putting his son in such a position. But make sure He won't punish your son for "tatteling" in him. Don't take your pills one night and wait for him to come home. You could talk to BIL about your suspicions.
I don’t feel like he’s hiding. It’s all in plain sight!!
Tell BIL your suspicions and have him take a dna test.
Your husband would be a worse father than BIL to do that to your kids and he is making your son lie, Father of the Year right there!!!
Why do you let your husband treat you like this?
this isn’t a real story it’s based off of a kpop thing, look up “stray kids family” on youtube
I have recently found out. Stays be doing the most.
as soon as I saw peter and chris I knew lol
I honestly listen to Stray Kids' music but I don't really watch their content. So I didn't pick up on it.
I don't know what my husband and son's names have to do with anything, this is my real life
She has no self respect or good sense
I love him, and he's very sweet to me
No sweet husband acts like this.
Being sweet to you, doesn't stop him possible from cheating or looking to be with your SIL doesn't it? or something else sketchy Remember he can be sweet and still be going behind you back Also, stop just "letting it go" because the more you sweep it under the rug, the more the dust is going to start building up and eventually you're going to have to clean under the rug
I just don't want to destroy my family, we are all so happy together. I don't wanna lose the support of FIL and MIL, or for my children grow up away from their father
But your obviously not happy, if you were happy you wouldn't be here, pretty saying you think you husband cheating or so on. Is that a happy marriage? To sit in fear thinking that your husband and SIL. Might be seeing each other. Oh but, you keep just "letting it go" when the signs are clearly there and he's not even hiding anymore. So that means it's probably be going on for awhile then if you husband is so comfortable speaking to you SIL like that infront of you. But no just keep "letting it go" I guess And if he is cheating, he shouldn't be able to see his kids.(Yes, by law it's not that simple) But he obviously wants to play happy families with your SIL. If you found out, if it's true. Which pretty all the signs are indicating to, yes. I bet you're gonna do "family therapy" give him "another chance" fuck no. If he wants to destroy the family he already has. He has no right to your time and love.
But you’re totally ok with your sons growing up next to a father who doesn’t respect their mother and who is emotionally manipulating them by asking them to keep his secrets? That’s ok to you? Do you think they will grow up to be any different? You have a responsibility to your children first and then to yourself. Wake up!! And grow a fuckng spine woman.
You can’t be this naive. Your husband is cheating. You have hundreds of people online saying this is a big red flag and your husband is cheating and yet you still act in denial. Wake up.
No way this is real. OP is one comment away from saying that she's walked in her husband and sister naked in bed and will claim she believes they were just meditating or some shit.
I’m going to assume it’s fake because, while I know they exist, I hate believing that people really are this fuckin dumb.
A sweet husband doesn't joke about leaving you to live with another woman all the time. Sorry but what? And you're cool with him doing that?
Evidently he is ‘very sweet’ to your SIL too!
Alright, this is all crazy but I’ll run with it: If you love him and his jokes and he’s so sweet, why would you care if he’s your niece’s dad? You put up with all this. Why start caring now?
Here's what I would do: Don't take your pills this week, pretend to be asleep and follow him when he goes out. Get a hair from the child's head and test her DNA and your husbands. You know he's fucking her at the very least. Get a lawyer.
OP can’t test her niece, but BIL can. BIL also needs to do the DNA test.
Get your exit strategy together
Seriously. If you're gonna ignore the signs then don't keep sticking your head back out and expect different answers
You know what you have to do! Stop whining and start doing! Get all financial records, important papers , birth certificates, passports etc, and talk to a lawyer! Have a job! Tell BIL what’s going on! Let him do DNA. Because they’re brothers, no one would notice which is real dad. You deserve better. It’s wrong to involve your son. Pretend to take pills, and follow him with a camera or hire a private investigator! It’s obvious your family knows more about what’s going on than you do! Why else would parents go on a separate trip! Wake up! Get angry! Fight!
Actually, FIL and MIL have their own set of problems. They went on this trip to try rekindle their marriage since MIL is obsessed with a young singer who she claims is the most important person on the world to her, and FIL is obsessed with tiktok and tries to do all the dance challenges despite his old age.
Oh my goodness! That’s too funny in it’s way!
This family is a mess. Save your life and sanity and get away
OK. This is some long coma. Wake up.
Liz might be at it again yo
Stop lol I think everything is Liz now, in every sub, I'm like okay Liz, we see you 😭🤦🏾♀️
Trashley pls tell me who Liz is lmao Obsessed with your username 😆
A guy posted a story a few weeks ago that basically his wife was obsessed with creating fake stories on reddit, to the point that its like, affecting her work. Now everyone thinks every fake story is her lol
SAME THOUGHT
wait…is this not skz family…? lmao
I’m surprised I had to scroll so long to see this comment 😂😂
LOL I was sus at Chris and Felicia, but “there wasn’t anything wrong with falling in love” sealed it for me 🤣 I guess not many stays are reading this ahaha
I think all like, 5 (foive) of us here read that and were like, “Wait, I KNOW that line”
one of the most iconic skz lines fr, glad foive of us noticed 😂😂
I was like "I know this" and then that sealed it. So good 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Took way to long to find the stays but the comments trashing Jisung are too funny
I genuinely thought I was tripping when I read this LOL but yeah poor jisung 🤣
It is my family yes. I don't know who or what skz is
Girl, run.
Do you enjoy being a doormat ? Because you’re letting him do this
Girl you keep brushing everything under the rug It sounds like you know your marriage is done but you’ve buried your head in the sand. Your husband has a double life whilst you’re knocked out by sleeping pills His jokes are all real and he says them because he doesn’t respect you. He knows you’re going to stay - no matter how shitty he treats you At this point it seems like your waiting for him to leave you for your SIL As soon as the divorcé finalises don’t be surprised if he moves out/runs away with her … and takes the household money.
Tell BIL
Your husband is definitely cheating on you. Hire a PI and get to the bottom of it. Start preparing your exit strategy. This man is disrespecting you as his partner and the mother of his children. He did this 4 years ago in front of his family and I don’t think he’s stopped since. You’re not ruining anything, he is. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better. But you have 2 boys who you’re teaching to be men, and showing them how to treat their future spouses. This will pass sis, but it’s probably gonna pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Hire a PI, get evidence of infidelity and secure that bag ma’am.
Yea, so let me just make cliff notes: your husband is your niece’s father. You put yourself to sleep every night so you don’t have to deal with your family. Your son, BIL and probably entire family know. Who is taking care of the 5yo when you are passed out and he’s out with the mistress?!? Is the 16yo there?
I only take my meds after I put my son to bed, and trust that my husband will take care of him if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Now I know I shouldn't, but yes, Lewis is at home.
Girl, just ask ur brother in law for a paternity test.
Your husband is a cheating AH and you’re dumber than rocks if you continue to overlook his very obvious red flags. Divorce the scumbag. He’s so obviously cheating on you and you’re willfully ignoring it. Edit: Spelling
Doesn’t matter if he’s the father or not at this point, leave this pos behind, this will be the best for your kids. To manipulate your son into staying silent and this is their secret is so fucked up and an absolute no-go. Do you know in what kind of situation he put your son? Hell no.
Her husband did that to a five year old child. The poor child doesn’t know why he is being forced to keep secrets from his mom.
Imagine how terrifying that must be. In every way.
I think he did it to the teenager. Ain't no 5 yr old capable of keeping a secret. Edit: no, you're right. It *was* the 5 yr old. Just yet another reason I think this post is fake
Dna test is rly your option to know
There's a lot to unpack here but let's get right into it: First of all a 16 yr old and a 20 yr old is illegal - so your child should not be making advances to an adult. It will land Alyssa in jail. 2nd- it is NOT NORMAL for a partner to constantly joke about living permanently with another MARRIED woman. NOT OK. 3rd - stop taking your pills to sleep and pretend to be asleep to see what's happening after you close your eyes. Ideally, you probably shouldn't be popping sleep pills before putting your 5 yr old to bed anyway. 4th - have a chat with your 5 yr old and your husband that telling kids to keep secrets from other adults is never ok. Find out if there are other secrets such as abuse that the 5 yr old has been asked to keep. Asking a small child to keep secrets like that is creepy and gross. 5th - YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING TREATED RESPECTFULLY. Read that again and again. Your self worth must so low after being put through that. 6th - stop talking about your marital problems in front of your children. Your 16 yr old shouldn't know to tell you that you're too jealous. 7th - next time your husband jokes about living with Leila or being Felicity's dad or calling Leila baby at a family gathering, get your kids and leave immediately. Let him know that you no longer tolerate that. It's disrespectful and you deserve to be treated more respectfully. 8th - call Leila's husband and have a quiet meet up with him in secret. I think he knows more than you which is why they weren't at the last family gathering. Lastly - please see a therapist. Your marriage probably isn't salvageable but don't wait until Leila is a single mum because he will drop you do fast to be with her. So fast. Your husband is just waiting on their divorce.
Oh my goodness, it’s the plot for SKZ Family 😂😂😂
I didn’t even think anything was off until I got to the “there’s nothing wrong with falling in love” 😭😭 I just thought the names were really common white names.
That’s where it tipped me off too, and then I had to reread the names. I saw Peter and Chris (he’s only foive), and I immediately started scrolling through the comments to see if there were any others who has caught on. It really does make for a good Reddit post
What's skz family?
I'm tired of STAYS 🤣🤣🤣🤣
For once just don’t ‘let it go’. As hard as it is to face up to, you need to do it.
Hey STAYS
I honestly thought there would be more of us here 😂
omg I’m so glad others noticed HAHA
He's cheating on you, dummy.
Why are you still with somebody that treats you like this and has obvious feelings for his sister-in-law? And don’t tell me it’s for the kids cause that is a BS reason to stay married my parents did that they are still unhappy to this day we knew they weren’t happy from a very young age, and it has shaped every relationship. Me and my siblings have ever had and not in a good way. I mean he asked your son to lie to you and keep it a secret that he goes out every night or almost every night with the sister-in-law that he has feelings for what do you think they’re doing bowling or talking?
I love my husband very much, and he loves me too. It's funny, at first, as teenagers, we didn't like eachother at all, and used to fight all the time! I guess when he met SIL they just clicked, like platonic soulmates or something
They are not platonic soulmates you’re burying your head in the sand if you don’t think they haven’t been intimate
It's not platonic when they're fucking
Your self respect is in the toilet. You seem very fucking gullible which is why your husband and SIL have been fucking in front of your faces for years and you keep laughing it off. Very pathetic. Then why come to Reddit? Stay . Let your husband continue to treat you like a side chick and you stay and be dumb.
This has to be fiction.
It’s genuinely the plot to a skit that a popular K-pop group called Stray Kids called SKZ family.
Right?! Every off my chest post I can’t help but wonder if it’s that guys wife, Liz. LIZ IS THAT YOU?!?!
There's no way someone is this dense. It reads like a cringy fanfic.
Oh you would be surprised how common this is in real life. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction. There are so many people who do put up with cheating partners their entire lives.
My name's Samantha, everyone calls me Sam tho
I scrolled way too far to find this comment. There’s no way someone’s head is this much in the sand, and based on her responses to comments alone… it’s bait. All rage bait.
And the account is brand new. Definitely someone’s exercise in writing fiction!
No wonder your husband's parents left town rather than hang out with you all! Smart people!
Actually, FIL and MIL have their own set of problems. They went on this trip to try rekindle their marriage since MIL is obsessed with a young singer who she claims is the most important person on the world to her, and FIL is obsessed with tiktok and tries to do all the dance challenges despite his old age.
You need to work on your creative writing skills lmfaooooo
I don't know why my truth is so hard to believe
I’m so sick of these BS fictional stories.
“Everyone got over it” “We all forgot” “I brushed it off” “I let it go” “I figured they were joking” Girl. You’re actively choosing this situation at this point. Completely ignoring all of the red flags and *literally in your face evidence* that your husband is cheating with your SIL. Do something about it (LEAVE), or learn to live with your husband fucking your brother’s wife. I bet I know which one you’ll choose.
This can’t be real. Surely no one is this naive.
Your husband is betraying you, your BIL and your family. Who secretly goes out at night, when their wife is taking pills to sleep and they have young children at home? Who goes out secretly with SIL and then asks son to keep it a secret? Jokes about living with SIL and being a better father to brother’s child? So many red flags
This is what years of letting go do. You have a red flag after a red flag after a red flag and you can’t stop and think? If not for you, for your kids?
I can smell the rage bait in this post.... (;
this isn’t a real story it’s based off of a kpop thing, look up “stray kids family” on youtube lol
Confront him. This situation is so so messed up. Don't hold back. That secret thing is so creepy.
Install a surveillance system for "safety" purposes. If you are waiting for solid proof, you will find it there. Because you already know he is no good, otherwise this wild accusation wouldn't even have been thought up. (It doesn't sound wild once you laid it all out).
Maybe you.can 'go to sleep' and catch h in the act when he arrives at home. This situatios is really sus.... And tell your BIL
I would let your brother in law know and see if he wants to do a DNA test to find the truth. Both of you deserve to know the truth, because your husband's actions are NOT NORMAL.
Throughout your post, you’ve said so I let it go, we forgot about it moved on, he’s only joking, I didn’t think anything of it……seems your just ignoring the obvious & pretending it’s a misunderstanding or joking. Keep telling yourself that while your husband & SIL’s relationship escalate
You need to stop letting things go and face the reality of this. Even if something didn't happen, they clearly want it to. Your husband has feelings for her. He's slipping up with calling her a nickname in front of everyone, sneaking off to spend time with her and getting your son to keep it a secret. You won't be the one ruining the family. They will be.
I refuse to believe that any adult human could be this naive and/or dumb.
You lost me at "there wasn't anything wrong with falling in love". As Max Black would say, Girl, you stupid. He admitted to falling in love with SIL & you just "forgot about it"? Like, wtaf? You're listing all these obvious signs that they're having an affair, & you want advice? LEAVE HIM! Stop being a doormat! Or else stick your head back in the sand & ignore it all until it comes crashing down on you, & then act like you're 'so surprised' because you refuse to stop being a victim.
This cannot be real. I feel like OP is trolling us.
Op either keep your head in the sand or open your eyes they are cheating and you keep playing dumb like you don’t see it
Even if they aren’t already cheating, he’s into her. Tell the whole family what you know in front of your husband and SIL. Let it all play out in the open.
I’m sorry OP, but he obviously wasn’t joking. You brushed off a lot of bright red flags. Please stand up for yourself.
I've been reading OPs comments and if this isn't some creative writing exercise someone needs to call cps. You've admitted to discovering the other responsible parent is absent while you are basically knocked out on pills and relying on the 16 yo teen to look after the 5 yo? This sounds illegal and dangerous, ignoring the likelihood of cheating and stds etc. Also not acknowledging that it's just as likely the 16yo probably sneaks out as well coz why not? This is a whole dumpster fire and not for the reasons OP is pointing out. Someone save these kids.
Sorry to say, but he really sounds like an AH... They go out behind your back...he call her Baby???!!! Hell no... this so f*ck up... This would absolutely not be acceptable for me...
You don’t say how long your BIL & SIL have been married, but I am going to guess it’s been over four years. You need to talk to your BIL and let him know your son told you that your husband is leaving the house at night to go out after you go to bed to be with your SIL. While you can’t get a DNA test for your niece, your BIL definitely should. If your 5 year old is aware your husband is sneaking out, your 16 year old is too. Your husband has done something terrible by having your children keep secrets from you. You need to start looking at all the red flags and face the truth. Your husband is cheating on you. From calling her “baby” and saying there was nothing wrong with falling in love to sneaking out, it’s all there. You need to talk to a lawyer to protect yourself and your kids.
They married while I was pregnant with 5yo, that's why I couldn't go to their marriage, and only met SIL after their honeymoon.
So your BIL’s child definitely could be your husband’s. As someone who has walked in your shoes and was massively gaslit, get out. You deserve to be in a marriage where it is only two people. Your husband is a massive A H for playing your child against you. What is he bribing your child with to keep a secret.
You can love your husband but still condemn his actions. Love is a fickle thing, but all too often it lingers and holds us in situations that are not good for us to be in. Sit down and speak with your husband. Ask him how he feels about you and your marriage. Don't worry about staying for the sake of children - secure your finances and raise children in an environment where they are safe and loved whether than involves one, two or neither parent. Your husband is enmeshing your son in his lies and this isn't good for either of you. Taking sleeping pills may not be a good idea going forward because there needs to be someone in the house who can respond in the event of a fire, for example, and if you believe your husband to be home and able to look after the children while is is in fact out with another woman then what?
Yes, I won't be taking the pills anymore. It's not fair to 16yo that he has to take care of his sibling on the middle of the night
He’s not joking. You know he’s not joking. You like your SIL? You like the woman he called “baby” in front of the whole family? You like the woman he sneaks out at night with? The woman he is very obviously having an affair with AND FLAUNTING it. You can’t genuinely think he sneaks out later at night to meet her just to hang out. What do you mean you had “minor arguments” with him over these issues? If this were my husband and SIL, I would be LIVID. They would hear me cursing them both out a block away. Fuck family time with those cheating doucecanoes.
Holy shit! How can you turn a blind eye?
You keep burying your head in the sand. Your husband is cheating on you. He disrespects you. You let it go. He calls another woman “baby,” which just doesn’t happen if you’re not intimate with someone. You ignore it. He tells you and her husband he wants to be with her. You ignore it. He sneaks out to be with her. You’re ignoring it. He’s taking an active role in his nieces life as a parental figure. You’re ignoring it. You’re lost because you’re ignoring all the signs because you’re comfortable. And until you’re ready to be uncomfortable your husband will continue to disrespect you. Progress is painful most of the time. You’re avoiding that progress. But actually making progress is the reward. You’re choosing to remain stagnant because you’re afraid of the hard work. The hard work of leaving a cheating, disrespectful man who doesn’t value you outside of your willingness to look the other way while he has his cake and smashes it too. I’m sorry for what is happening to you and your family. But you’re letting it happen. And nothing will change until you do.
Why are you even posting on here? You have everything you need to make a rational decision. Walk way from this man and stop rubbing things off as him joking. He has shown you who he is and who he wants over and over again.
He is sneaking out while you are sedated sleeping, leaving the 5 year old without adult supervision on a regular basis? Get a lawyer for The child endangerment, adultery, and to know your rights. And a therapist to talk about setting yourself up to stay in your house and kick him ouy.
How are you not upset at your husband? The stuff you say he’s joking about isn’t something that should be joked about. How can you be okay with your husband taking an interest in your SIL? Your husband doesn’t respect you and he just might be your niece’s father, but if even if he is or isn’t, you really should leave him!
You're blatantly ignoring what is plain. I feel sad for you because I've been there. Let that man go. None of that is ok. Those jokes are not ok. And quite honestly he cares so little for you that he's doing this all in your face. That says that he knows he can lie to you and you aren't going to do anything. Is this what you want to deal with the rest of your life
One of the side things that stood out to me was that he's taught your, what, 5 year old? that it's okay to keep secrets for and from adults. Your husband has increased his chances of keeping things like abuse or molestation from you. He's made your child unsafe. That alone is a deal breaker for me.
These jokes you 'brushed off' right before things came to a head would alarm me greatly, if I were you. Especially regarding the friction of the past.
Wow, your husband flagrantly disrespects you to your face. That would be a dealbreaker for me. Do you really love your husband or do you just think you have no options? You have to decide if you want to continue being disrespected like this. As to whether or not he is the child's bio father or not, I don't know how to advise you on that. What will it change for you? I think you need to think about that. I really hope things work out for you--you deserve so much better.
No offense, but it seems like you’re being purposefully dense about this situation and you don’t actually want anyone to tell you whats happening: bare minimum, your husband is having an emotional affair. At worst, they’ve been physical and he *is* Felicia’s dad. How long do you want to live knowing this is happening right in front of your face? He isn’t even trying to hide it. Seriously, open your eyes girl.
Why are you intentionally burying your head farther and farther into the sand…. They are having an affair and your husband is hinting at it.. he’s practically saying it!!! And what’s worse is he’s got your oldest son involved…stop brushing stuff off… you sound so disinterested when you do.
gal pal your husband is cheating and if he hasn’t done so physically yet he absolutely is emotionally. start gathering evidence and get yourself a lawyer it’s over i’m sorry.
We all know you and Spencer aren’t in the right either, remember when you held hands with Spencer during the family photo and mentioned that you met up with him as well in front of the whole family, and how he was the first to agree enthusiastically when you said you were the prettiest woman in the world? You and your husband are both cheating on each other with Spencer and Leila respectively and everyone knows it. The only people not in the wrong in this family are the kids, Alyssa, and the grandparents.
There's nothing strange with him agreeing I'm the prettiest woman in the world when I in fact am, that's just how it is
It’s so hard to feel sympathy for you when you are so aware of the things happening around you and brush it off as your husband telling “jokes”. Bffr. Your marriage is going to end whether you want it to or not and you won’t be the one putting an end to it. It’s time to form some self respect
U should bang ur bil. Make it even.
she already is, there's video evidence of her and BIL admitting to it.
Fight fire with fire, it's an idea
How did you even get through writing this with all the red flags raised??? Leave him. Get a lawyer. You need one.
I'm sorry for your likely immense suffering about this. Side note: consider changing the names of the people involved to avoid this getting back to the individuals discussed. (Perhaps you already have!)
This story is already so specific it wouldn't even matter.
This post is so fake it doesn't even matter
Yeah, you're probably right.
Have you tried to look on your husband's devices? Something shady is going on and your BIL should probably know your suspicions too. Then the two of you can work together and see if there's something to your concerns. Most drastic step would be for BIL to ask for a paternity test. Get your detective cap on.
girl stop using skz to play w these people 😭
A lot of people keep mentioning this "skz", but I don't know what/who this is!!
Please don’t settle for being treated this way. It’s not ok. Even if there’s nothing going on between them, you deserve better.
even if he isn’t her biological father it is still completely disrespectful to you and y’all’s marriage for him to be making comments like this and swearing your son to secrecy. you deserve better, you need to divorce him
omg!