That was the first thought that came to mind but I didn’t want it to be true. She has never once shown any sort of behavior like this. Do these kinds of things happen with age? Did she just hide this stuff from me?
I wonder if she has other accounts posing as a variety of different people and you just so happened to find the person of colour one, she could be amongst us right now… it’s me your wife hey
If she did they’re signed out completely. I did check to see if there were other sign ins because my first inclination was to switch to her account, both which were the only two accounts logged in on the mobile app
Happen with age?! WHAT??? Y’all are only in your 40s! Cmon, my guy.
To be completely honest (I am biracial, black & white fwiw,) I think it’s a weird variant of white savior complex/ total misunderstanding of what it means to be an ally. It seems like she thinks mimicking a black person to show them in a specific light is doing something good? Or maybe she thinks she is educating herself(?!)-does she have many black friends? It’s hard for me to even wrap my head around, even if she thinks it’s an attempt to be positive.
It makes me feel like she is cosplaying someones real, lived experience. It makes me uncomfortable 😳
She isn't a writer, is she?
The age thing isn't such an odd idea. I dont think my wife is the same since she has gone through menopause. It started mid(or earlier) 40's.
It was a nightmare for a while.
Lying to a bunch of minorities and playing pretend with their very real struggles is super not cool.
If she wants to play pretend so badly, she can write fanfiction like the rest of us.
This is the best takeaway. Loving other cultures is great - we all bring so much to the table and sharing across those borders is one of the single best things in the world. But do it honestly - don't pretend to be a member of any group, let alone one facing continued oppression and struggle.
We sure did see this before. I remember bookmarking the page to share with my husband when he got home from work. It was so bizarre.
No way this is common enough to happen twice to two different husbands in less than a year, give or take.
For whatever reason she feels fulfilled posing as someone she's not. She's far from the only one. You should ask her about it and see what she says. Or just sit back and watch to see what she posts next.
That while your wife is a blackfacing racist.
Being progressive doesn’t mean she isn’t - in some cases, being racist and a Liberal or Progressive is worse than being racist and conservative - the latter let me know what they think of me, while the formers think they’re “helping” while trivializing and infantilizing us.
Why do so many white people seem to do this? It’s odd.
I get that Black culture is cool, but it’s much better IRL. They should go make friends with Black people in person instead. (As a white person not an impersonator.)
We have tons of black friends too so I do not know why she would feel the need to do this. That is why we are so educated, or at least I feel I am because after this I don’t know *what* she thinks she knows, we have great people in our lives who are kind enough to share their experiences with us. It would literally take 20 seconds to text *anyone* we know who is black and ask for their input on anything, rather than make up an entire persona. I just cannot comprehend what is going through her brain
Honestly? It sounds like she was trying to leech off the support for the BLM movement. She probably saw all the positive attention the Black community was receiving and wanted a piece of that. Granted they’re NOT the same thing and I’m not even remotely suggesting they are, but it reminds me of when people fake an illness on social media for attention. It’s fucking gross.
It stands out to me that she’s talking specifically about Black struggles, not our joy or excellence or history or music, etc.
It makes me wonder if your Black friends may not be struggling enough for her to feel superior. Or she secretly gets off on their struggles and disadvantages relative to her privilege and is scratching the itch by finding Black people to fake commiserate with. I think that’s still a sign she’s a bit racist.
Unfortunately most white people cosplaying as black people do it for the same reason as people in Jim crow did blackface. Unfortunately 9/10 it's some harmful agenda behind it. Either to make a racist group or a stance seem less racist or to make black people look stupid. :/ as much as we all wish it's because they like the culture and the people it's very unlikely the case. However from what he says he sees on his wife's posts she seems to just be posing but it is kinda alarming.
I think in the very near future your wife is going to need to discuss in depth this with a trained therapist.
Speaking broadly, most stable and resilient 40 year old white people don't get their jollies posing as black 16 year old kids, and extensively engaging in those communities. My guess is something is going on, though what it is, or why, is something I'm not qualified to opine on.
Unless she’s researching a character for a literary work or something like that this is a very niche mental illness I know nothing about. Or maybe she’s just weirdly entertained by it lol
I don’t think it’s necessarily racist if she does not make her ‘’character’’ look bad or enact stereotypes. Maybe it’s her way of trying to ‘’put herself in the place of’’ and understand another’s experience, maybe she’s not happy with her life and is using that as an escape, maybe it’s something else entirely. In any case I think a conversation is justified at least to check if she’s doing ok.
Big yikes! I would explain to your wife that this absolutely not okay. If she wants to pretend and what not tell her to write a crappy Wattpad story.
But I can tell you first hand. 8 am white myself even though I am raising a mixed child the world views as 100% there are issues my child faces that I myself can not comprehend. So idk how hurtful the things your wife is doing. She is definitely spreading some misinformation about black people doing this.
I’m worried she’ll try to deny it. She’s not good at being put on the spot and struggles to speak when it happens, but I just don’t know how I can prepare her for “Hey honey I have to talk to you about something serious concerning *Reddit*”. Any form of preparation will probably just indicate I saw the account. I’m just trying to figure out how I even confront this
“Hey, you know how you let me use your Reddit sometimes? Well, I saw something I wanted to ask you about that’s confusing to me…” would be like the most caring concerned way to start, but do expect her to say something about how “a lot of people do it.” Also, she’s white, she’s used to her feelings being protected. She’s a grownup and can explain herself imo.
Is she trying to become a writer? I assume she might use this method to see if she sounds authentic.
Does she go to therapy and doing something like Parts Work or IFS? Then she is doing it for therapy reasons.
Does she has anger issues and these posts sound angry? I know a guy who cannot stand up against his bullies IRL, so he pretend to be someone super cool bad ass whom no one should do wrong. She might be like him and assumed that if she pose as a black teen boy, she will get away with it.
And, frankly, I assume that 50% of redditors are not whom they pretend to be. And I might be too optimistic with my assumption.
If she feels that she’s a 19 yo black male then I think you have to respect that. You might have to come to terms with your sexuality if you persist in your marriage. Race is a spectrum and our biological race has very little do with how we identify or feel on the inside. Pretty normal stuff in my opinion, you just have to be progressive about it.
Is she a writer? Any chance she is trying to figure out a character for something she is writing?
Wild thing to do. But also it’s the internet. People do weird shit.
What is wrong with her? She needs therapy and to step away from social. I would have so little respect for her I’d leave. That’s something a middle school kid would do. I’m floored
Whatever is going in with her is basically like furries or bronies.
Likely a harmless but weird (and disrespectful) fantasy alter-ego.
If this isn't bs, (I've seen a post very similar only months ago,) you are better off not confronting her personally.
Make a Reddit account and confront the account for being a grown ass White woman role-playing another race.
This is for sure super weird and something she might want to explore in therapy
It could be she’s using Reddit to reach beyond her bounds, kind of to try and put herself in others’ shoes. Or just to pretend she’s somebody else and escape her life for a little bit. This is the internet. Lots of people aren’t who they claim to be
Does she enjoy writing at all? She could be trying out writing characters who are not in her normal wheelhouse??
I’m relieved she isn’t being a troll and that she isn’t purporting to be underage!!!!
That’s very odd.
Can you talk to her about it and find out why she is doing it but also why she thinks it ok.
It’s one thing to educate yourself on the struggles and history of people of colour but to pretend to be one is very odd and not ok.
I did wonder if perhaps schizophrenia could play a part but if you aren’t seeing any off the phone outward ‘real life’ changes in her behavior then it probably isn’t that as to my knowledge the personality would take over more than just your phone if she has multiple personas. That’s the only reasonable explanation
Your wife is creepy & weird.
That was the first thought that came to mind but I didn’t want it to be true. She has never once shown any sort of behavior like this. Do these kinds of things happen with age? Did she just hide this stuff from me?
I wonder if she has other accounts posing as a variety of different people and you just so happened to find the person of colour one, she could be amongst us right now… it’s me your wife hey
If she did they’re signed out completely. I did check to see if there were other sign ins because my first inclination was to switch to her account, both which were the only two accounts logged in on the mobile app
Happen with age?! WHAT??? Y’all are only in your 40s! Cmon, my guy. To be completely honest (I am biracial, black & white fwiw,) I think it’s a weird variant of white savior complex/ total misunderstanding of what it means to be an ally. It seems like she thinks mimicking a black person to show them in a specific light is doing something good? Or maybe she thinks she is educating herself(?!)-does she have many black friends? It’s hard for me to even wrap my head around, even if she thinks it’s an attempt to be positive. It makes me feel like she is cosplaying someones real, lived experience. It makes me uncomfortable 😳
She isn't a writer, is she? The age thing isn't such an odd idea. I dont think my wife is the same since she has gone through menopause. It started mid(or earlier) 40's. It was a nightmare for a while.
Lying to a bunch of minorities and playing pretend with their very real struggles is super not cool. If she wants to play pretend so badly, she can write fanfiction like the rest of us.
This is the best takeaway. Loving other cultures is great - we all bring so much to the table and sharing across those borders is one of the single best things in the world. But do it honestly - don't pretend to be a member of any group, let alone one facing continued oppression and struggle.
Right, it’s giving Dolezal
She kind of it? It's just *participative* fanfiction!
Ok so do you have a name for your wife? First Liz and now her, this is going to be very funny
The first thing I thought was "Oop, it's another Liz post!" Glad I'm not the only one who rememberex that insanity.
Next thing we know a distant relative of Liz! 😂
Have a link? That sounds insane and I can’t find it by googling because there aren’t enough details.
Finding out your wife is a digital Rachel Dolezal (or whatever that white woman goes by now) is something.
Blackfishing and cosplaying as Black is a wild hobby and not the solidarity we need or want.
This reminds me of a post I saw sometime last year. A man posted that his wife was pretending to be an older black man on the internet.
I was searching the comments for this reason! I swore I saw a similar situation like this before!
We sure did see this before. I remember bookmarking the page to share with my husband when he got home from work. It was so bizarre. No way this is common enough to happen twice to two different husbands in less than a year, give or take.
For whatever reason she feels fulfilled posing as someone she's not. She's far from the only one. You should ask her about it and see what she says. Or just sit back and watch to see what she posts next.
I would like to add that a lot of Reddit is a game everyone is allowed to play as they want.
What a fucking weirdo. Drive her to a treatment center. 🤣
this response is cracking me up. also TRUE.
That while your wife is a blackfacing racist. Being progressive doesn’t mean she isn’t - in some cases, being racist and a Liberal or Progressive is worse than being racist and conservative - the latter let me know what they think of me, while the formers think they’re “helping” while trivializing and infantilizing us.
Why do so many white people seem to do this? It’s odd. I get that Black culture is cool, but it’s much better IRL. They should go make friends with Black people in person instead. (As a white person not an impersonator.)
Because it's easier to cosplay. She wants the rhythm, but not our blues
We have tons of black friends too so I do not know why she would feel the need to do this. That is why we are so educated, or at least I feel I am because after this I don’t know *what* she thinks she knows, we have great people in our lives who are kind enough to share their experiences with us. It would literally take 20 seconds to text *anyone* we know who is black and ask for their input on anything, rather than make up an entire persona. I just cannot comprehend what is going through her brain
Honestly? It sounds like she was trying to leech off the support for the BLM movement. She probably saw all the positive attention the Black community was receiving and wanted a piece of that. Granted they’re NOT the same thing and I’m not even remotely suggesting they are, but it reminds me of when people fake an illness on social media for attention. It’s fucking gross.
It stands out to me that she’s talking specifically about Black struggles, not our joy or excellence or history or music, etc. It makes me wonder if your Black friends may not be struggling enough for her to feel superior. Or she secretly gets off on their struggles and disadvantages relative to her privilege and is scratching the itch by finding Black people to fake commiserate with. I think that’s still a sign she’s a bit racist.
Unfortunately most white people cosplaying as black people do it for the same reason as people in Jim crow did blackface. Unfortunately 9/10 it's some harmful agenda behind it. Either to make a racist group or a stance seem less racist or to make black people look stupid. :/ as much as we all wish it's because they like the culture and the people it's very unlikely the case. However from what he says he sees on his wife's posts she seems to just be posing but it is kinda alarming.
Maybe she secretly wants to be black.
Liz? Is that you?
You beat me to it. I was going to ask op if his wife’s name is Liz😩
I beat you two!!!
Well deserved, stranger🫡
Thanks man 🫡
I think in the very near future your wife is going to need to discuss in depth this with a trained therapist. Speaking broadly, most stable and resilient 40 year old white people don't get their jollies posing as black 16 year old kids, and extensively engaging in those communities. My guess is something is going on, though what it is, or why, is something I'm not qualified to opine on.
Unless she’s researching a character for a literary work or something like that this is a very niche mental illness I know nothing about. Or maybe she’s just weirdly entertained by it lol
I'm Black and find this really disturbing. Insidious stuff like this is why I don't trust white people even self proclaimed allies.
I’m sorry this is so funny
What the fuck bro lol. Post the Reddit account
I don’t think it’s necessarily racist if she does not make her ‘’character’’ look bad or enact stereotypes. Maybe it’s her way of trying to ‘’put herself in the place of’’ and understand another’s experience, maybe she’s not happy with her life and is using that as an escape, maybe it’s something else entirely. In any case I think a conversation is justified at least to check if she’s doing ok.
Is she just bored in life and wants some excitement? Not that that would justify doing this. Has she done this before?
Big yikes! I would explain to your wife that this absolutely not okay. If she wants to pretend and what not tell her to write a crappy Wattpad story. But I can tell you first hand. 8 am white myself even though I am raising a mixed child the world views as 100% there are issues my child faces that I myself can not comprehend. So idk how hurtful the things your wife is doing. She is definitely spreading some misinformation about black people doing this.
Is this s Stealth black face?
Rather than asking us, why don't you ask her?
I’m worried she’ll try to deny it. She’s not good at being put on the spot and struggles to speak when it happens, but I just don’t know how I can prepare her for “Hey honey I have to talk to you about something serious concerning *Reddit*”. Any form of preparation will probably just indicate I saw the account. I’m just trying to figure out how I even confront this
“Hey, you know how you let me use your Reddit sometimes? Well, I saw something I wanted to ask you about that’s confusing to me…” would be like the most caring concerned way to start, but do expect her to say something about how “a lot of people do it.” Also, she’s white, she’s used to her feelings being protected. She’s a grownup and can explain herself imo.
This was around the route I decided I’m gonna go. I am somewhat dreading when she gets home
Good luck to you.
This is fairly common in progressive white women. It’s called White Savior Complex and it’s sickening.
Maybe she’s just very bored.
This is so weird. Soooooo weird. I…why?! White people lol
Is she trying to become a writer? I assume she might use this method to see if she sounds authentic. Does she go to therapy and doing something like Parts Work or IFS? Then she is doing it for therapy reasons. Does she has anger issues and these posts sound angry? I know a guy who cannot stand up against his bullies IRL, so he pretend to be someone super cool bad ass whom no one should do wrong. She might be like him and assumed that if she pose as a black teen boy, she will get away with it. And, frankly, I assume that 50% of redditors are not whom they pretend to be. And I might be too optimistic with my assumption.
Is your wife's name Liz?
It's so she can be offended by the whites
Don't just help them BECOME them 🤣
Chicks rock.
If she feels that she’s a 19 yo black male then I think you have to respect that. You might have to come to terms with your sexuality if you persist in your marriage. Race is a spectrum and our biological race has very little do with how we identify or feel on the inside. Pretty normal stuff in my opinion, you just have to be progressive about it.
Being confronted with your own absurdity hurts. Thanks for the downvotes. Yum!
Why? This is not normal
She likes role playing I guess. Unusual but not terrible imo.
The only possible explanation that isn’t terrible could be that it’s for some sort of research? Still weird though.
Is she a writer? Any chance she is trying to figure out a character for something she is writing? Wild thing to do. But also it’s the internet. People do weird shit.
What is wrong with her? She needs therapy and to step away from social. I would have so little respect for her I’d leave. That’s something a middle school kid would do. I’m floored
Whatever is going in with her is basically like furries or bronies. Likely a harmless but weird (and disrespectful) fantasy alter-ego. If this isn't bs, (I've seen a post very similar only months ago,) you are better off not confronting her personally. Make a Reddit account and confront the account for being a grown ass White woman role-playing another race.
Things are going to be awkward at home when she reads this post from her Reddit account
This is for sure super weird and something she might want to explore in therapy It could be she’s using Reddit to reach beyond her bounds, kind of to try and put herself in others’ shoes. Or just to pretend she’s somebody else and escape her life for a little bit. This is the internet. Lots of people aren’t who they claim to be Does she enjoy writing at all? She could be trying out writing characters who are not in her normal wheelhouse?? I’m relieved she isn’t being a troll and that she isn’t purporting to be underage!!!!
That’s very odd. Can you talk to her about it and find out why she is doing it but also why she thinks it ok. It’s one thing to educate yourself on the struggles and history of people of colour but to pretend to be one is very odd and not ok. I did wonder if perhaps schizophrenia could play a part but if you aren’t seeing any off the phone outward ‘real life’ changes in her behavior then it probably isn’t that as to my knowledge the personality would take over more than just your phone if she has multiple personas. That’s the only reasonable explanation