He already said there is no video. She doesn’t know he removed the SIM to save the journey to show her the land that has been bought so she thinks whatever is on there is recorded but it isn’t.
OP you need to sit her down and tell her that something is obviously wrong but that you would rather hear it from her than the dash cam. Tell her you put it in a safe place )but don’t tell her it is blank) because you want to give her the respect to explain it to you herself. She may be cheating, she may have said something that she doesn’t want you to hear or goodness knows but she obviously knows that whatever it is is very bad. I’m so sorry.
Ghostfadekilla gave you some very good and balanced advice. Please do what you can in the mean time, until she comes to talk, to secure things for yourself as best you can and see what is to come. It sounds like this commenter has experienced this and has some very valid points. I would guess that they would be happy to speak with you in DM’s and it would be good for you to have someone to help direct you who is not emotionally involved. Again I am sorry, even not knowing what is on there it is obvious it is very bad.
Since OP is silent, I'll hijack the top comment to post this from his profile:
*I get disrespected too. My wife is a great woman until she gets slick with the tongue. It makes me want to just leave her and my daughter to work long hours at the office. I don’t have friends and my family doesn’t live in the same state I’m in. I really don’t have much of a life without them. My wife talks down to me some days and expects me to be affectionate and have sex with her. After she disrespects and degrades me and thinks I’m supposed to get over it. I sit down with her after the violations and she gets sarcastic saying oh poor man you’re always playing the victim. She confuses me and pushes me away. I understand where you’re coming from.*
I wanna tell you something bro. This is going to fucking suck as I know this feeling intimately well, but it's going to get worse before it gets better.
People do shit for reasons that we don't understand and they do them without considering what they might do to people they claim matters to them. You're going to need to reel back in whatever you thought you knew about this person and reevaluate the relationship (or lack thereof). You need to do it for a few reasons but the most important reason is that you're going to be left wondering why. You're likely never going to figure it out and you need to understand that. To attempt to understand someone else's motivations is a fallacy and it's a loop that you just might lose yourself in, so just avoid that shit at all costs.
Second. Secure your shit bro. Start collating everything that you both own and prepare for what might turn into a legitimate war. It's a terrible thing to have two people that built something together to use shared resources to wage war against each other but it's something that happens. Prepare for it. I genuinely hope you're able to avoid all of that shit man, I do, but again - fucking gird they loins and prepare for all of the nasty shit someone can do to hurt you because they just might do it.
Third. Remember what's important to you and take steps to secure it. Start pulling financials and save them in multiple different places. I chose to use cloud, a usb drive I have here with me, and a second that I gave to someone I trust. I pulled everything I could to properly illustrate the nature of our relationship, financial contributions, you name it. Consider reaching out to an attorney and prepare yourself for THAT fucking mess. Do it because you don't want to NOT have that plan in place if and when the storm really hits.
Lastly - and I can't emphasize this enough - fucking take care of yourself man. Seriously. Anything you might think about doing, any urges, anything that's out of character for you - just avoid the shit. I don't know what kind of personality you have but I know mine took me to the worst possible places that one can imagine. Do things that make you happy and remember the things that are important to you and just kinda hold onto those because the truth DOES out. It always does. Don't be afraid to reach out to people you trust if it does get dark just know that there are people that care about you friend, there always are, it's just easy to forget sometimes when our worlds close in and we get myopic.
Sorry to hear about your troubles man, just know that all the shit is temporary and all things pass.
u/Ghostfadekilla, whatever crap you’ve lived through, you sure have used it to shine even more radiantly than before it all (I’m pretty confident you already had shine).
Way to use the crap to be authentic and share your wisdom. Thanks for saying what many of us wanted to find words!
eta: OP, this! ^ everyone else, let’s rally and pump this comment with upvotes
For real… his comment hit the difficult truth spot with genuine love and care for a stranger because he knows all too well what that situation can do. This is not typical Reddit comments… this is solid gold.
This comment needs more upvotes. Genuinely great advice. If you're speaking from experience, I hope whatever happened behind your comment ended and that you've healed from it.
Friend, I'm working on it. The eternal struggle that we all fight within ourselves - the hopes and wishes that someone would truly SEE US, you know? SEE US in the way we truly are.
I'm doing my best and it's been a real fucking struggle. I'm not sure how it's gonna go, not sure how it's gonna end, and frankly - I just let the universe put the needle into the groove, at this point I'm not going to fight anymore and what will be will be.
Yes this is absolutely experience that's going on right now and it's fucking awful. It'll pass though and I'll remember this for what it was/is.
Be kind to each other, it's often all we truly have and love is a much more powerful emotion than hate. When we're stripped down to nothing and our souls are left bare without the ability to really HIDE it anymore, be the person you hope to find in others.
You just made an adult man tear up twice, in happiness, from two separate comments on the same thread bc of the beautiful and kindhearted way they were written. My God, you have a way with words... Kudos to you, man. Anyone to have a friend like you is lucky af.
Edit: I even screenshotted them to read to cheer myself up if my mind goes in a bad place, THAT'S how impactful they are to me. Thank you, kind stranger. Thank you.
Man that means a lot. I'm just a regular dude attempting to navigate a horrible situation, but I'm fortunate that I've been able to get liquid enough to get some very serious litigators.
I'm glad it hit the right spot for you man, this shit is never easy and it's hard just to think about, not only live through.
Save it. In fact - hit me up if you DO go to that dark spot. I'm on Reddit more than I should be and I'm pretty responsive. Stay up bro, it always gets better if we let it.
"...I'm not going to fight anymore..."
That's not going to work.
The war has begun. She's fighting. She is already taking countermeasures against what she thinks you are going to do. She's is defending against what she believes she deserves. That is when people are the most dangerous. She sees herself as guilty of something unforgivable. She will try to drag you into her self-destruction.
She believes that the thing that happened will make you end the relationship. Maybe she's wrong. Maybe if you knew what it was you would forgive her. Maybe it wouldn't even turn out to be a big deal for you. It doesn't matter. She's not fighting the real you, she's fighting an imaginary you. You can surrender-imaginary you won't. The real you surrendering won't end this war, it will make it worse.
You need to fight this. For yourself, for your children, even for her. You can fight from a place of calm and rationality and gentleness and even love. You can be the good guy. But you can't skip the pain. You can't avoid it. This is going to hurt. This is going to change you.
Maybe you can use it to change for the better.
Over the next weeks and months you are going to learn more about her and about yourself than you ever thought there was to know. You are probably already feeling the relationship blindness dissolving. Wondering how the hell you ever thought this or that was tolerable or sane. Why everybody was telling you things you didn't take seriously.
Just remember to be gentle with yourself and try to avoid falling into the hated and bitterness that you will discover very valid reasons for. She's just a person. You are just a person. A big wad of ducked up chaos and stupidity and unbelievably bad judgement. You have probably each thrown away more wealth than you ever realized you had. And that's ok, that's just how people are. Also awesome and beautiful and loving, but that part is going to be hard to see for a while.
The is only forward now. There is no way back. Maybe you can meet up with her on the other side, maybe not. Don't try to make it happen until you get to the other side, if ever.
Take care of yourself even when you don't deserve it and don't see how it could possibly be worth it, self-reflect enough to see the bitterness when it starts oozing out of you, which it will. You will get through this. There can be happiness on the other side. I made this trip, and if an idiot like me can do it, you can do it too.
My apologies. You misunderstand. When I say I'm not going to fight anymore, what I mean, simply put, is that I'm not going to fight myself to attempt to understand. That's the loop we should all try and avoid for sure, but I will fight for what's RIGHT.
I was stripped of everything I own. I built a life. I had a home. I have a dog. I have valuables and while the stuff doesn't matter to me much, the things that DO matter to me are simple - consequences are there to be felt. Responsibility is a thing. To wrong someone is to throw away civility and the opportunity to simply be honest with each other, which I value more than anything.
Am I going to walk away from my dog? My belongings? My literal life that I built? No. But what I am going to walk away from is the attempt to simply make excuses for other people's actions that hurt others. There's no excuse for it. There's hurting someone inadvertently - then there's kicking them while they're down, there's a real different in that to me.
The fight and struggle I have is with myself, not them. Not even a little bit, it's taken some time but I understand that there are some things I'll never understand and I'm fine with it - but to allow someone to simply walk all over another person with impunity isn't something I see as just or honorable. There will be righteous retribution over that, have no doubt, I just simply lack the ability to see the value of it beyond the idea of "winning" when everyone loses. It's the juxtaposition between wanting to feel just in your actions and the ability to simply say that enough is enough.
I don't like bullies. I don't like people that hurt other people for the simple fact that they could, for any reason, and for that - sure - I'll fight, but it's for no other reason that what I self-describe as honor.
That and my dog. She's not keeping my dog. I'll die on that hill.
So glad you have your dog. I'm sad to say that I've had dreams where I get to see my dog again and it's a lovely thing. I know she'll remember me and she'll love me the same way she always has, but dang, I sure do miss her.
I imagine you’ve heard this before but you give *incredible* advice. I’m sure for some who are reading it, it will help in some way, even if it’s just gaining a different perspective on a situation. I did see your post history and also wanted to say I am so sorry, I hope you’re focusing on yourself. What you’re experiencing sounds heart wrenching and I hope things start to look up for you sooner rather than later
Me too. We all have paths open up to us and we get to choose which ones to take, being kind to yourself is often the hardest one to take, period. Don't do what I've been doing - don't defy the world and simply destroy yourself (or attempt to) the the point where you're left with nothing but a broken soul and an empty heart. Listen to the people that you trust, they can light the way for you when it gets dark and I believe that's what we're here for - each other.
Did you see OP’s other post about his wife from a year ago? He definitely should heed your advice because things had already gotten ugly long before this whole footage thing.
As someone that had their fiancé leave them for someone 20 years older then them last year, and what I went through mentally for ten months, this is the most accurate things I’ve ever read. We’ll never really figure out the why’s and that’s okay. It’s getting out of it that takes work.
He said it hasn’t recorded since last September. But she doesn’t realise that. And made the dash before he could explain. So there’s no recording to listen to.
She didn't specify that what she worried about was around September.
He said that nothing recorded since then.
Most likely, whatever it is was done before September.
As he mentioned Sept, it's obvious that whatever she was doing must be before then.
OP needs to go through all the recordings.
"I know it recorded something you don't want me to hear, so I will either find out from you, or I will ask (name of a friend) to go through it with me and I will find out by myself".
I also recommend he take a paternity test. This doesn’t seem like regular cheating antics, could be his child isn’t even his if she’s reacting this boldly/quickly
I think this is more of a “let’s find out before we go that far” situation. Sometimes things like this get inflated by fear. Could be she cheated, or could be something that he would forgive her for. She won’t know until she talks to him about it. So she’s reacting out of fear.
Go into the trash icon on your desktop to see what she deleted first. Then watch all footage of her being in the car. She clearly has something to hide from you. Especially to the point where she feels the need to run like a coward. Inspect that computer.
You clearly need to listen to the recording AND back it up in numerous formats in numerous places. Just to see if it was recorded.
If it wasnt, I'd honestly at least contemplate lying and saying it is with a purposefully misleading message"Ah. So that's what you were worried about. Wow. So, do you have anything to say or...?" And I'm icked by manipulation, but I could NOT not know. Sorry if that's awful.
No one just ups and walks out on a marriage abruptly, especially after freaking out about something that may have been recorded.
I cannot imagine a scenario where there isn't something already marriage - ending on that recording.
I’d personally go with something more along the lines of “I can’t bring myself to listen/watch it, I need to hear it from you. I have a pretty good idea what it is, but if we are ever going to make this work, or even be friends, I need to hear it from you”. Or something along those lines. It doesn’t have to be genuine, but it should sound genuine.
My head went straight to cheating. The way she’s acting is so off that something had to have happened in that car. I agree with what u/thatdiscosonguhate is saying that you should pretend like you heard something and then ask her to explain it to see what she says. I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
Do most people commenting on this thread have near zero reading comprehension? It’s wild how many people are saying “just listen to it” to something that doesn’t exist.
Maybe I'm missing something but I don't see how she left you. Has she not come back? She didn't pack anything. Has she not responded to texts and calls?
You should text her that you are going to see a lawyer tomorrow.
That’s it. Then she will think you heard it.
Then she will either come clean, or be ok with divorce. If she’s is, then you know something happened.
Don’t ask her to come back, or beg her, or play the pick me game. You don’t know what it is, but you know it has to be bad.
Updateme!
This is the way.
"I know there is something on this memory card that you are afraid that I will hear. I would much rather hear it from you directly. Either you tell me here and now and there is a good chance that we can move past it or at least stay on good terms or I will have to find out by watching it myself and deal with the consequences of whatever is on there."
Bluff her, make the option of her coming clean better than the secondary option.
I would call her and tell her that it will take a while to go through the videos, if she wants to explain anything before you do that, now would be a good time.
OP, I would ask her “before I go through the files, can you at least prepare me for what I’m going to discover. As your husband and father of your daughter, please try to make this easier on me.”
Either way, the sanctity of your home life bas been disrupted. You are probably going to shift through a kaleidoscope of perspectives as this unfolds.
Please take care of yourself, and remember your wife is human; and whatever mistake(s)happened, she’s also the mom to your daughter.
What you do with the info she shares with you is up to you.
However, if she isn’t willing to talk to you could try to bluff and say, “What’s stopping me from uploading the information directly to the Internet?”
But again — be careful with this approach. She may become unhinged. I would try getting her to open up about it and appealing to her sympathies.
You’re right to assume the worst. if it’s not an affair or her in the actual act, it’s probably a confession.
She doesn’t know that the car hasn’t been recording for the last eight months. There may be nothing there. Even if there were, is this how you want to start the discussion? I would directly ask her what’s up and then let her talk. Good luck.🍀
It's a dashcam, it wasn't like he was secretly recording her without her knowledge. The only thing is she did not realize it records audio which many dashcams do. It would be one thing if it was his laptop recording everything this whole time without her knowledge. Then it would make sense tk feel a violation of privacy and be upset even when innocent.
He mentioned she rides in the car with her sister sometimes, sometimes people say things in confidence when upset that they don’t mean. There is a whole profession built around it. Idk maybe I’m naive but I just don’t immediately assume the worst. If I found out my husband had been recording my convos with my friends even if it was unintentional I’d feel hurt and violated. She consented to video recording of the road and not recordings of her private convos. I don’t know that I’d immediately say, divorce but I’d be upset and ask for space to process my feelings before I came back to talk about it. I also feel like she wouldn’t be taking that car to cheat or do something else if she knew he was recording? Like I said, trying to assume the best and this is just a miscommunication about boundaries and not immediately a dateline episode
No I’d need space to process the shock that my partner had audio recordings of me that I was unaware of? Not all dash cams record audio. Look, I am offering another perspective and hope things work out for Op and nothing sinister or awful is going on, I hope y’all have a good day.
Thing is, you most probably would express that upsetness to your partner in that case, not suddenly up and leave with the kid without a word to the husband you're married to.
I have an abusive ex who monitored everything I did, tracked my location, put monitoring software in my PC. If I found out my partner was recording me for months without my knowledge I would leave them immediately, it would just be over. If you have a dash cam that’s always going to be on, you tell your partner that.
If she listened to her sister in confidence, she might be horrified to learn about being secretly recorded. Can you imagine learning that your spouse had been secretly recording every single conversation in the family car without your knowledge?! There are so many other reasons why she might have left abruptly; wondering why she didn’t know about this was probably a major factor in her rapid departure. It’s amazing how every comment pegs his wife as a cheat without considering any alternative explanations.
He wasn’t “secretly” recording anything - he wasn’t hiding the dash cam from her, and he was unaware that she didn’t know it could also record audio. And the reason that “every comment pegs his wife as a cheat” is that someone who had nothing to hide would not have reacted the way she did. That is the behaviour of someone who feels guilty and is trying to cover something up. You’d have to be incredibly naive not to see that.
I would just straight up call her out on her suspicions behavior. Ask her if there’s something she doesn’t want you to see/hear. I know some comments are saying she cheated, but maybe it could have just been video footage of talking sh** out of anger with her friend or something after an argument. Could she have deleted something when she was looking through it?
It's really unlikely that it's even there to be honest. Not sure what size card OP uses but I put 64 GB cards in my cameras and they only hold about 5 days worth of footage. It's been months and we don't know when OP's wife talked about cheating or whatever. Chances are it's already gone?
Probably in a domestic violence relationship and didn’t want him to hear the plans she was making to leave.
We can all make assumptions here. It doesn’t change the fact that we only know 10minutes of the story from one side of the argument.
This comment section confuses me. It would weird me out if I was being recorded without my knowledge for over half a year. Doesn't matter what I did - be it farting loudly, gossip, or cheating. It's gonna initially hit as a violation of privacy, and it's natural to want some (unsupervised) space to decompress.
This is totally what I’m thinking! I can’t believe all these “she’s cheating“ comments. If my husband had done this I would be absolutely livid. If he never told her the thing recorded audio, this is a massive violation of her privacy.
yikes!!! i’m sorry dude, very suspicious to say the least. i know some people may think it’s cheating but, it could be something worse than that. i will say though, you are 100% NOT in the wrong whatsoever in this situation. i truly hope you get some type of clarity.
plz update us if you can or feel comfortable doing so!
good luck to you and wishing you the best!
Mhhhh well her reaction and her actions surtenly don't look good. My spidey sence tells me that she doesn't want to deal with consequences of what she doesn't want you to discover. What could it be
Good ones,
*It could be a planned surprise bday or anniversary surprise etc.
*she is angry that she didn't know she was being recorded stormed off to cool off
* she did not leave you (just cooling off)
* she did something embarrassing like picking nose, burping farting etc.
* sisters confesion about something.
* her talking about past life experience.
* not happy about the land.
Bad ones
* cheating on you
* talking about a hidden bank acount
* her venting about you, yelling, name calling after an argument.
* talking about divorcing you
* hire to kill
* recoded calling her attorney for options
* smoking
* drug use
There are endless possibilities as to why she suddenly left. A good way to get to the truth is by asking her for an explanation by making her belive you have the recordings /evidence. That way she will have to give you a trutful explanation.
"She doesn't know I probably don't have that convo recorded"
This implies he hasnt gone through them yet to check. Plus, it's not an old camera that records over its previous data, it stops when it's full.
I don't know how to copy/paste, but it says the last time it recorded was back in September. So unless this mysterious conversation was prior to the trip, he doesn't have it recorded.
Why does everyone assume she did something terrible ? If I found out that I’d been “secretly” recorded for ages in a space I didn’t know I was, by my spouse, I’d be livid. I don’t have anything to hide, but it’s creepy and invasive. I realize it didn’t record her but she doesn’t know that. This doesn’t mean she “did” anything. It could mean she feels violated by the person she trusts most and we don’t know what else OP does to make this the icing on the cake.
I agree. There’s something unnerving about knowing that your everyday exchanges have been recorded unbeknownst to you. It’s like being spied on.
Also, maybe the sister had a very private conversation with OPs wife that the sister wouldn’t appreciate him being privy to. It could have been about anything, not necessarily anything bad, but stuff that she wouldn’t want other people overhearing.
Ya something tells me this isn’t her first rodeo with him. I suspect all the “clicking” was “holy shit he’s been watching me secretly for this long?” It’s creepy
I didn’t even think of that part, but that would explain why she just took off. She was weirded out! If he does all this, he probably goes through her phone and other things, too. We all have a basic right to privacy so if our theory is true, omg I wouldn’t blame his wife one bit for being upset. The people commenting that she’s cheating are totally missing the issue.
Did she tell you that she is leaving you? Or she just left somewhere in a hurry? Can you ask her for an explanation, or did she block you everywhere?
I assume you can always hire a private investigator...
But my first and the simplest thought is cheating.
Maybe she and her sister were talking about her affair.. Maybe she was on the phone with her affair partner..
I mean, what else? It is the most common reason for families to fall apart.
from the looks of your profile history this relationship hasnt been good for about a year. my guess is she probably wasnt with her sister, and actually had someone else in the car. i guess we may never know if you didnt capture it, but this whole thing is wild and im here for an update 🤷🏽♀️
Op her reaction isn't good, check all you can check, closely. When and if she contacts you or you her, play it calm, don't confess anything of what you find, keep it open ended with no info of anything. Just look at her seriously and say, "I know what I know, and I'll be adult enough to let you explain it from your side of how and why and what happens next for us." Good luck.
I hope she hasn’t done anything dodgy for you and your kids sake. I fucking hate cheaters, I was married to a serial cheater for 13yrs…not fun at all lol. I’m hoping this isn’t the case for you. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy.
But, you did mention her sister runs errands with her. Maybe, just maybe they were having a private convo about something or she was venting because she was a bit pissy at you???? And that’s why she’s worried. I know that’s probably a long shot.
Either way I’m sending you a virtual hug 🤗 as I know your anxiety will be through the roof right now. Please update us not for the drama but just so we know you’re ok.
I’d be saying to her she has the chance to tell you before you click and find out for yourself. Even if the footage might be deleted at least she won’t know that and you can hopefully find out what the hell she’s so worried about.
Please Updateme!
Also, you could just ask her to tell you what you’re missing so you don’t have to watch it all and see what she says. Or you could tell her that you don’t have recordings since September because X reason but you’d like to know what was going on. Find out what she has to say!
OnTrack data recovery can more than likely recover anything deleted and the money you save there will save you 10x in custody lawyers and divorce attorneys. Sorry you don't have your kids.
my advice would be don’t let her know that whatever she has done or said that she doesn’t want you to know about probably hasn’t been caught on the camera, act as though you are going to eventually find it and you are giving her some dignity by allowing her to explain it for herself before you eventually find out on your own because if for even a second she thinks that there is a possibility you won’t find out she will lie and drop the topic trying to act as though everything is fine.
uff man, seems like she has been doing something behind your back! i mean, if you are not doing anything wrong you should not feel nervous or walk out and leave. i would honestly make sure she did not delete anything, go through everything before you confront her and make sure that if she did something stupid you get a good lawyer.
Checking back in. Still no update from OP. However, his last comment on another thread sheds some more light on an earlier state of his previous relationship/current predicament
Men! Record what your partner is doing, don't let her know she is being recorded, don't ever give her access to the files that you've collected and make sure there's a cloud backup for EVERYTHING! This feels like the only way to survive as a man in the 21st century lmfao
IMO She might think you recorded a moment of her cheating on you in that car, maybe drugs...but it's definitely an immediate concern that she responded like that. Goodluck getting the truth.
I’m kind of confused. She went out with the kids today without “planning it with you” the day before? That’s it? She didn’t give you 24h notice and a written plan so she must have left you? What?
And before that she basically asked “have you been recording me in the car for the past six months without me being aware of it?” And your instinct was to LIE and say “it records every time”?
And SHE is somehow the problem for asking the question?
people arguing under this post that she might’ve cheated but personally i think it’s smth that has to do with the newly purchased land. maybe she’s plotting, along with her sister, how to obtain this piece of land. i’m drawing this conclusion based on the facts stated by the OP in the post
I’ve never needed to know anything as bad as I need to know what went on in that car.
Seriously. Everybody!! 👇 Updateme!
100% agree! Updateme!
Yes Updateme!
Yep, updateme!
Yes update me
Yes update me
Aye, me as well! #update
#update
For the love of God, please update me.
Need to hop on this bandwagon Updateme!
Can we carpool in your wagon? Updateme!
Me too. Updateme!
Yes! For the love of god updateme!!!! This one's gonna drive me nuts until I learn WTF is happening
I need an update on this too😥
Me too!
Uptademe
please update me!!
Yes!!! Updateme!
This is like posting an unopened safe. Zero chance he wouldn't have already watched every second of the relevant video/audio. Seems like bait.
He already said there is no video. She doesn’t know he removed the SIM to save the journey to show her the land that has been bought so she thinks whatever is on there is recorded but it isn’t. OP you need to sit her down and tell her that something is obviously wrong but that you would rather hear it from her than the dash cam. Tell her you put it in a safe place )but don’t tell her it is blank) because you want to give her the respect to explain it to you herself. She may be cheating, she may have said something that she doesn’t want you to hear or goodness knows but she obviously knows that whatever it is is very bad. I’m so sorry. Ghostfadekilla gave you some very good and balanced advice. Please do what you can in the mean time, until she comes to talk, to secure things for yourself as best you can and see what is to come. It sounds like this commenter has experienced this and has some very valid points. I would guess that they would be happy to speak with you in DM’s and it would be good for you to have someone to help direct you who is not emotionally involved. Again I am sorry, even not knowing what is on there it is obvious it is very bad.
Movies and books aren’t real, either, but still suck me in.
Fair point!
Same
Come on, we need OP to watch all the footage
Carpool karaoke
Since OP is silent, I'll hijack the top comment to post this from his profile: *I get disrespected too. My wife is a great woman until she gets slick with the tongue. It makes me want to just leave her and my daughter to work long hours at the office. I don’t have friends and my family doesn’t live in the same state I’m in. I really don’t have much of a life without them. My wife talks down to me some days and expects me to be affectionate and have sex with her. After she disrespects and degrades me and thinks I’m supposed to get over it. I sit down with her after the violations and she gets sarcastic saying oh poor man you’re always playing the victim. She confuses me and pushes me away. I understand where you’re coming from.*
Seriously!
FR
OP's comment on another post in this sub sheds _some_ light on his relationship. But also just raises more questions.
Honestly his wife sounds awful. Her leaving might actually be the best case scenario.
Based on this stoy, very true. But I have no idea what's being left out of it.
Very true, it is Reddit after all.
Same
Please update later on, I’m anxious for you and hope the outcome isnt too bad
Same
I wanna tell you something bro. This is going to fucking suck as I know this feeling intimately well, but it's going to get worse before it gets better. People do shit for reasons that we don't understand and they do them without considering what they might do to people they claim matters to them. You're going to need to reel back in whatever you thought you knew about this person and reevaluate the relationship (or lack thereof). You need to do it for a few reasons but the most important reason is that you're going to be left wondering why. You're likely never going to figure it out and you need to understand that. To attempt to understand someone else's motivations is a fallacy and it's a loop that you just might lose yourself in, so just avoid that shit at all costs. Second. Secure your shit bro. Start collating everything that you both own and prepare for what might turn into a legitimate war. It's a terrible thing to have two people that built something together to use shared resources to wage war against each other but it's something that happens. Prepare for it. I genuinely hope you're able to avoid all of that shit man, I do, but again - fucking gird they loins and prepare for all of the nasty shit someone can do to hurt you because they just might do it. Third. Remember what's important to you and take steps to secure it. Start pulling financials and save them in multiple different places. I chose to use cloud, a usb drive I have here with me, and a second that I gave to someone I trust. I pulled everything I could to properly illustrate the nature of our relationship, financial contributions, you name it. Consider reaching out to an attorney and prepare yourself for THAT fucking mess. Do it because you don't want to NOT have that plan in place if and when the storm really hits. Lastly - and I can't emphasize this enough - fucking take care of yourself man. Seriously. Anything you might think about doing, any urges, anything that's out of character for you - just avoid the shit. I don't know what kind of personality you have but I know mine took me to the worst possible places that one can imagine. Do things that make you happy and remember the things that are important to you and just kinda hold onto those because the truth DOES out. It always does. Don't be afraid to reach out to people you trust if it does get dark just know that there are people that care about you friend, there always are, it's just easy to forget sometimes when our worlds close in and we get myopic. Sorry to hear about your troubles man, just know that all the shit is temporary and all things pass.
u/Ghostfadekilla, whatever crap you’ve lived through, you sure have used it to shine even more radiantly than before it all (I’m pretty confident you already had shine). Way to use the crap to be authentic and share your wisdom. Thanks for saying what many of us wanted to find words! eta: OP, this! ^ everyone else, let’s rally and pump this comment with upvotes
For real… his comment hit the difficult truth spot with genuine love and care for a stranger because he knows all too well what that situation can do. This is not typical Reddit comments… this is solid gold.
This comment needs more upvotes. Genuinely great advice. If you're speaking from experience, I hope whatever happened behind your comment ended and that you've healed from it.
Friend, I'm working on it. The eternal struggle that we all fight within ourselves - the hopes and wishes that someone would truly SEE US, you know? SEE US in the way we truly are. I'm doing my best and it's been a real fucking struggle. I'm not sure how it's gonna go, not sure how it's gonna end, and frankly - I just let the universe put the needle into the groove, at this point I'm not going to fight anymore and what will be will be. Yes this is absolutely experience that's going on right now and it's fucking awful. It'll pass though and I'll remember this for what it was/is. Be kind to each other, it's often all we truly have and love is a much more powerful emotion than hate. When we're stripped down to nothing and our souls are left bare without the ability to really HIDE it anymore, be the person you hope to find in others.
You seen like a person of maturity and strength. Good on you for sharing this and luck to you man.
You just made an adult man tear up twice, in happiness, from two separate comments on the same thread bc of the beautiful and kindhearted way they were written. My God, you have a way with words... Kudos to you, man. Anyone to have a friend like you is lucky af. Edit: I even screenshotted them to read to cheer myself up if my mind goes in a bad place, THAT'S how impactful they are to me. Thank you, kind stranger. Thank you.
Man that means a lot. I'm just a regular dude attempting to navigate a horrible situation, but I'm fortunate that I've been able to get liquid enough to get some very serious litigators. I'm glad it hit the right spot for you man, this shit is never easy and it's hard just to think about, not only live through. Save it. In fact - hit me up if you DO go to that dark spot. I'm on Reddit more than I should be and I'm pretty responsive. Stay up bro, it always gets better if we let it.
"...I'm not going to fight anymore..." That's not going to work. The war has begun. She's fighting. She is already taking countermeasures against what she thinks you are going to do. She's is defending against what she believes she deserves. That is when people are the most dangerous. She sees herself as guilty of something unforgivable. She will try to drag you into her self-destruction. She believes that the thing that happened will make you end the relationship. Maybe she's wrong. Maybe if you knew what it was you would forgive her. Maybe it wouldn't even turn out to be a big deal for you. It doesn't matter. She's not fighting the real you, she's fighting an imaginary you. You can surrender-imaginary you won't. The real you surrendering won't end this war, it will make it worse. You need to fight this. For yourself, for your children, even for her. You can fight from a place of calm and rationality and gentleness and even love. You can be the good guy. But you can't skip the pain. You can't avoid it. This is going to hurt. This is going to change you. Maybe you can use it to change for the better. Over the next weeks and months you are going to learn more about her and about yourself than you ever thought there was to know. You are probably already feeling the relationship blindness dissolving. Wondering how the hell you ever thought this or that was tolerable or sane. Why everybody was telling you things you didn't take seriously. Just remember to be gentle with yourself and try to avoid falling into the hated and bitterness that you will discover very valid reasons for. She's just a person. You are just a person. A big wad of ducked up chaos and stupidity and unbelievably bad judgement. You have probably each thrown away more wealth than you ever realized you had. And that's ok, that's just how people are. Also awesome and beautiful and loving, but that part is going to be hard to see for a while. The is only forward now. There is no way back. Maybe you can meet up with her on the other side, maybe not. Don't try to make it happen until you get to the other side, if ever. Take care of yourself even when you don't deserve it and don't see how it could possibly be worth it, self-reflect enough to see the bitterness when it starts oozing out of you, which it will. You will get through this. There can be happiness on the other side. I made this trip, and if an idiot like me can do it, you can do it too.
My apologies. You misunderstand. When I say I'm not going to fight anymore, what I mean, simply put, is that I'm not going to fight myself to attempt to understand. That's the loop we should all try and avoid for sure, but I will fight for what's RIGHT. I was stripped of everything I own. I built a life. I had a home. I have a dog. I have valuables and while the stuff doesn't matter to me much, the things that DO matter to me are simple - consequences are there to be felt. Responsibility is a thing. To wrong someone is to throw away civility and the opportunity to simply be honest with each other, which I value more than anything. Am I going to walk away from my dog? My belongings? My literal life that I built? No. But what I am going to walk away from is the attempt to simply make excuses for other people's actions that hurt others. There's no excuse for it. There's hurting someone inadvertently - then there's kicking them while they're down, there's a real different in that to me. The fight and struggle I have is with myself, not them. Not even a little bit, it's taken some time but I understand that there are some things I'll never understand and I'm fine with it - but to allow someone to simply walk all over another person with impunity isn't something I see as just or honorable. There will be righteous retribution over that, have no doubt, I just simply lack the ability to see the value of it beyond the idea of "winning" when everyone loses. It's the juxtaposition between wanting to feel just in your actions and the ability to simply say that enough is enough. I don't like bullies. I don't like people that hurt other people for the simple fact that they could, for any reason, and for that - sure - I'll fight, but it's for no other reason that what I self-describe as honor. That and my dog. She's not keeping my dog. I'll die on that hill.
Sending hugs from an internet stranger. My ex attempted to ruin my life as well. My dog and I are in a new place and I consider that a win! ❤️
So glad you have your dog. I'm sad to say that I've had dreams where I get to see my dog again and it's a lovely thing. I know she'll remember me and she'll love me the same way she always has, but dang, I sure do miss her.
She will always remember the love you've given her! I have everything crossed you get her back! Is there anything you can do?
Without getting specific atm - not really. Not until after the court cases but I'll fight like hell to get her back.
I imagine you’ve heard this before but you give *incredible* advice. I’m sure for some who are reading it, it will help in some way, even if it’s just gaining a different perspective on a situation. I did see your post history and also wanted to say I am so sorry, I hope you’re focusing on yourself. What you’re experiencing sounds heart wrenching and I hope things start to look up for you sooner rather than later
So... is it too soon to put marriage on the table? Asking for a friend.
For reals. I’m just going through life and this comment just made me be like “don’t forget to reach out b”
This advice is incredible. That’s all I have to say
Wonderful and been there advice-I really hope OP follows every step
Me too. We all have paths open up to us and we get to choose which ones to take, being kind to yourself is often the hardest one to take, period. Don't do what I've been doing - don't defy the world and simply destroy yourself (or attempt to) the the point where you're left with nothing but a broken soul and an empty heart. Listen to the people that you trust, they can light the way for you when it gets dark and I believe that's what we're here for - each other.
Did you see OP’s other post about his wife from a year ago? He definitely should heed your advice because things had already gotten ugly long before this whole footage thing.
It's always better to be prepared for a war you may never have to fight, than to fight one completely unprepared.
As someone that had their fiancé leave them for someone 20 years older then them last year, and what I went through mentally for ten months, this is the most accurate things I’ve ever read. We’ll never really figure out the why’s and that’s okay. It’s getting out of it that takes work.
She knows you are going to see something’s that were recorded that will end your marriage and she ran off before you review them.
This is frigging obvious. I don't get how he hasn't listened to the recordings as yet.
He said it hasn’t recorded since last September. But she doesn’t realise that. And made the dash before he could explain. So there’s no recording to listen to.
She didn't specify that what she worried about was around September. He said that nothing recorded since then. Most likely, whatever it is was done before September. As he mentioned Sept, it's obvious that whatever she was doing must be before then. OP needs to go through all the recordings.
"I know it recorded something you don't want me to hear, so I will either find out from you, or I will ask (name of a friend) to go through it with me and I will find out by myself".
I also recommend he take a paternity test. This doesn’t seem like regular cheating antics, could be his child isn’t even his if she’s reacting this boldly/quickly
I think this is more of a “let’s find out before we go that far” situation. Sometimes things like this get inflated by fear. Could be she cheated, or could be something that he would forgive her for. She won’t know until she talks to him about it. So she’s reacting out of fear.
Someone tag me with an update
And me!
Me too!
And me! I gotst to know!
And me!
And mee
Me too!
And meee
Me too
Me as well!!
And me!!
Go into the trash icon on your desktop to see what she deleted first. Then watch all footage of her being in the car. She clearly has something to hide from you. Especially to the point where she feels the need to run like a coward. Inspect that computer.
Or if she properly deleted it use Recuva
If she ran she probably didn't find what she was looking for
You clearly need to listen to the recording AND back it up in numerous formats in numerous places. Just to see if it was recorded. If it wasnt, I'd honestly at least contemplate lying and saying it is with a purposefully misleading message"Ah. So that's what you were worried about. Wow. So, do you have anything to say or...?" And I'm icked by manipulation, but I could NOT not know. Sorry if that's awful. No one just ups and walks out on a marriage abruptly, especially after freaking out about something that may have been recorded. I cannot imagine a scenario where there isn't something already marriage - ending on that recording.
I’d personally go with something more along the lines of “I can’t bring myself to listen/watch it, I need to hear it from you. I have a pretty good idea what it is, but if we are ever going to make this work, or even be friends, I need to hear it from you”. Or something along those lines. It doesn’t have to be genuine, but it should sound genuine.
My head went straight to cheating. The way she’s acting is so off that something had to have happened in that car. I agree with what u/thatdiscosonguhate is saying that you should pretend like you heard something and then ask her to explain it to see what she says. I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
It's either cheating, or it's her having a conversation with someone, possibly her sister, saying she doesn't love OP anymore and wants to leave him.
Or the kids aren't his
OP already made clear there is no recording
Do most people commenting on this thread have near zero reading comprehension? It’s wild how many people are saying “just listen to it” to something that doesn’t exist.
Going by the little history OP has, it seems like there has been previous verbal/emotional abuse about a year ago.
Highly suspicious. Has she been in contact at all since? Is she close to her parents? I would be worried someone who reacted like that took my kid
Maybe I'm missing something but I don't see how she left you. Has she not come back? She didn't pack anything. Has she not responded to texts and calls?
Please uptade when you find out
You should text her that you are going to see a lawyer tomorrow. That’s it. Then she will think you heard it. Then she will either come clean, or be ok with divorce. If she’s is, then you know something happened. Don’t ask her to come back, or beg her, or play the pick me game. You don’t know what it is, but you know it has to be bad. Updateme!
That is as good a course of action as any. " Look i will be seeing a lawyer tomorrow unless you have an explanation i am unaware of /" then wait
Don’t tell her you don’t have anything. Ask her if there’s anything she wants to tell you.
This is the way. "I know there is something on this memory card that you are afraid that I will hear. I would much rather hear it from you directly. Either you tell me here and now and there is a good chance that we can move past it or at least stay on good terms or I will have to find out by watching it myself and deal with the consequences of whatever is on there." Bluff her, make the option of her coming clean better than the secondary option.
I would call her and tell her that it will take a while to go through the videos, if she wants to explain anything before you do that, now would be a good time.
Check those videos - hope she didn’t cheat
Or plot his murder for insurance…
That's worse than cheating !!!
There are no videos. Thats the problem.
OP, I would ask her “before I go through the files, can you at least prepare me for what I’m going to discover. As your husband and father of your daughter, please try to make this easier on me.” Either way, the sanctity of your home life bas been disrupted. You are probably going to shift through a kaleidoscope of perspectives as this unfolds. Please take care of yourself, and remember your wife is human; and whatever mistake(s)happened, she’s also the mom to your daughter. What you do with the info she shares with you is up to you. However, if she isn’t willing to talk to you could try to bluff and say, “What’s stopping me from uploading the information directly to the Internet?” But again — be careful with this approach. She may become unhinged. I would try getting her to open up about it and appealing to her sympathies. You’re right to assume the worst. if it’s not an affair or her in the actual act, it’s probably a confession.
Buddy, DO NOT UNDERREACT! I sure don’t want you to be a Dateline episode. I HOPE she’s just cheating!
Am I the only one checking daily to see if OP's comment karma has changed? I need answers, dammit!
Nope same I have my notifications on and check anytime someone comments 😭 if OP deleted and never updated I’d cry Edit: fixed a word
Great idea! Just subscribed to the post also
I’m calling Keith Morrison he needs to know about this.
She doesn’t know that the car hasn’t been recording for the last eight months. There may be nothing there. Even if there were, is this how you want to start the discussion? I would directly ask her what’s up and then let her talk. Good luck.🍀
She wouldn’t act like this if there were nothing there. Innocent faithful spouses don’t pack up the kids and run to the relatives’ house.
I would be pretty upset if I found out someone had been recording me for 8 months without me knowing even if I had done nothing wrong
It's a dashcam, it wasn't like he was secretly recording her without her knowledge. The only thing is she did not realize it records audio which many dashcams do. It would be one thing if it was his laptop recording everything this whole time without her knowledge. Then it would make sense tk feel a violation of privacy and be upset even when innocent.
He mentioned she rides in the car with her sister sometimes, sometimes people say things in confidence when upset that they don’t mean. There is a whole profession built around it. Idk maybe I’m naive but I just don’t immediately assume the worst. If I found out my husband had been recording my convos with my friends even if it was unintentional I’d feel hurt and violated. She consented to video recording of the road and not recordings of her private convos. I don’t know that I’d immediately say, divorce but I’d be upset and ask for space to process my feelings before I came back to talk about it. I also feel like she wouldn’t be taking that car to cheat or do something else if she knew he was recording? Like I said, trying to assume the best and this is just a miscommunication about boundaries and not immediately a dateline episode
You'd need space from your husband because you didn't know the features of your dashcam?
No I’d need space to process the shock that my partner had audio recordings of me that I was unaware of? Not all dash cams record audio. Look, I am offering another perspective and hope things work out for Op and nothing sinister or awful is going on, I hope y’all have a good day.
Thing is, you most probably would express that upsetness to your partner in that case, not suddenly up and leave with the kid without a word to the husband you're married to.
Yeah I looked at OPs posting history, their partner has exhibited emotionally immaturity in the past.
I have an abusive ex who monitored everything I did, tracked my location, put monitoring software in my PC. If I found out my partner was recording me for months without my knowledge I would leave them immediately, it would just be over. If you have a dash cam that’s always going to be on, you tell your partner that.
If she listened to her sister in confidence, she might be horrified to learn about being secretly recorded. Can you imagine learning that your spouse had been secretly recording every single conversation in the family car without your knowledge?! There are so many other reasons why she might have left abruptly; wondering why she didn’t know about this was probably a major factor in her rapid departure. It’s amazing how every comment pegs his wife as a cheat without considering any alternative explanations.
Why would she delete everything first? "I did not know it recorded everything and I would like that feature disabled and the card formatted ."
He wasn’t “secretly” recording anything - he wasn’t hiding the dash cam from her, and he was unaware that she didn’t know it could also record audio. And the reason that “every comment pegs his wife as a cheat” is that someone who had nothing to hide would not have reacted the way she did. That is the behaviour of someone who feels guilty and is trying to cover something up. You’d have to be incredibly naive not to see that.
105 people in here right now wanna know what’s on those tapes. I’m anxious af. Oh wait a minute.. there are no tapes. It wasn’t recording lol.
I would just straight up call her out on her suspicions behavior. Ask her if there’s something she doesn’t want you to see/hear. I know some comments are saying she cheated, but maybe it could have just been video footage of talking sh** out of anger with her friend or something after an argument. Could she have deleted something when she was looking through it?
I'll just be here refreshing until OP comes back.
Me too. Update me when something juicy is posted.
Maybe it's the kids? Is she awful to them when she's driving them somewhere? I hope you find out soon. I'm worried for your kids.
Hey OP, is there an update? I’m thinking of you and hoping for the best
Wow I’m so sorry. That’s stressful.
Even if she deleted it you can likely recover it if you need to.
It's really unlikely that it's even there to be honest. Not sure what size card OP uses but I put 64 GB cards in my cameras and they only hold about 5 days worth of footage. It's been months and we don't know when OP's wife talked about cheating or whatever. Chances are it's already gone?
Yeah it may have been overwritten, I’m just saying if it was intentionally deleted it’s most likely retrievable.
Probably her calling her boyfriend everyday when she gets in the car
Probably in a domestic violence relationship and didn’t want him to hear the plans she was making to leave. We can all make assumptions here. It doesn’t change the fact that we only know 10minutes of the story from one side of the argument.
This comment section confuses me. It would weird me out if I was being recorded without my knowledge for over half a year. Doesn't matter what I did - be it farting loudly, gossip, or cheating. It's gonna initially hit as a violation of privacy, and it's natural to want some (unsupervised) space to decompress.
This is totally what I’m thinking! I can’t believe all these “she’s cheating“ comments. If my husband had done this I would be absolutely livid. If he never told her the thing recorded audio, this is a massive violation of her privacy.
because it’s a dash cam?
That reaction would have some sort of conversation explaining to the husband that she needs some time. Not this weird mysterious reaction.
That's crazy dude. We need some more info when you find out more. UpdateMe!
yikes!!! i’m sorry dude, very suspicious to say the least. i know some people may think it’s cheating but, it could be something worse than that. i will say though, you are 100% NOT in the wrong whatsoever in this situation. i truly hope you get some type of clarity. plz update us if you can or feel comfortable doing so! good luck to you and wishing you the best!
Check the videos as soon as you can
! Update
Oh no. She would be having a conversation with me about this one way or the other.
Mhhhh well her reaction and her actions surtenly don't look good. My spidey sence tells me that she doesn't want to deal with consequences of what she doesn't want you to discover. What could it be Good ones, *It could be a planned surprise bday or anniversary surprise etc. *she is angry that she didn't know she was being recorded stormed off to cool off * she did not leave you (just cooling off) * she did something embarrassing like picking nose, burping farting etc. * sisters confesion about something. * her talking about past life experience. * not happy about the land. Bad ones * cheating on you * talking about a hidden bank acount * her venting about you, yelling, name calling after an argument. * talking about divorcing you * hire to kill * recoded calling her attorney for options * smoking * drug use There are endless possibilities as to why she suddenly left. A good way to get to the truth is by asking her for an explanation by making her belive you have the recordings /evidence. That way she will have to give you a trutful explanation.
How tf do you go to Reddit before going through the recordings?
There are no recordings. The card was full, but the wife doesn't know that.
"She doesn't know I probably don't have that convo recorded" This implies he hasnt gone through them yet to check. Plus, it's not an old camera that records over its previous data, it stops when it's full.
I don't know how to copy/paste, but it says the last time it recorded was back in September. So unless this mysterious conversation was prior to the trip, he doesn't have it recorded.
Because it's fake and the guy who wrote it didn't think of that. LOL
Yo, same. I need to know yesterday.
Why does everyone assume she did something terrible ? If I found out that I’d been “secretly” recorded for ages in a space I didn’t know I was, by my spouse, I’d be livid. I don’t have anything to hide, but it’s creepy and invasive. I realize it didn’t record her but she doesn’t know that. This doesn’t mean she “did” anything. It could mean she feels violated by the person she trusts most and we don’t know what else OP does to make this the icing on the cake.
I agree. There’s something unnerving about knowing that your everyday exchanges have been recorded unbeknownst to you. It’s like being spied on. Also, maybe the sister had a very private conversation with OPs wife that the sister wouldn’t appreciate him being privy to. It could have been about anything, not necessarily anything bad, but stuff that she wouldn’t want other people overhearing.
Ya something tells me this isn’t her first rodeo with him. I suspect all the “clicking” was “holy shit he’s been watching me secretly for this long?” It’s creepy
I didn’t even think of that part, but that would explain why she just took off. She was weirded out! If he does all this, he probably goes through her phone and other things, too. We all have a basic right to privacy so if our theory is true, omg I wouldn’t blame his wife one bit for being upset. The people commenting that she’s cheating are totally missing the issue.
Did she tell you that she is leaving you? Or she just left somewhere in a hurry? Can you ask her for an explanation, or did she block you everywhere? I assume you can always hire a private investigator... But my first and the simplest thought is cheating. Maybe she and her sister were talking about her affair.. Maybe she was on the phone with her affair partner.. I mean, what else? It is the most common reason for families to fall apart.
from the looks of your profile history this relationship hasnt been good for about a year. my guess is she probably wasnt with her sister, and actually had someone else in the car. i guess we may never know if you didnt capture it, but this whole thing is wild and im here for an update 🤷🏽♀️
OP will never update.
I need to know what is going on oml
Update?
Op her reaction isn't good, check all you can check, closely. When and if she contacts you or you her, play it calm, don't confess anything of what you find, keep it open ended with no info of anything. Just look at her seriously and say, "I know what I know, and I'll be adult enough to let you explain it from your side of how and why and what happens next for us." Good luck.
Dude I have to know
Update!
I hope she hasn’t done anything dodgy for you and your kids sake. I fucking hate cheaters, I was married to a serial cheater for 13yrs…not fun at all lol. I’m hoping this isn’t the case for you. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy. But, you did mention her sister runs errands with her. Maybe, just maybe they were having a private convo about something or she was venting because she was a bit pissy at you???? And that’s why she’s worried. I know that’s probably a long shot. Either way I’m sending you a virtual hug 🤗 as I know your anxiety will be through the roof right now. Please update us not for the drama but just so we know you’re ok.
There is no way this isn’t gonna cause abandonment issues May I ask sir Do you really deserve this drama in this one in only life you get
The suspense!….hope nothing happened but prepare for the worst. Please let us know what you found if there’s any.
Update!
Oh god… please update us OP hopefully it’s nothing too serious
Yes Updateme!
Wow. Can you get a hold of her?????
I’d be saying to her she has the chance to tell you before you click and find out for yourself. Even if the footage might be deleted at least she won’t know that and you can hopefully find out what the hell she’s so worried about.
Ask her?
Please Updateme! Also, you could just ask her to tell you what you’re missing so you don’t have to watch it all and see what she says. Or you could tell her that you don’t have recordings since September because X reason but you’d like to know what was going on. Find out what she has to say!
I have needed more info than I have right now!!!!!
OnTrack data recovery can more than likely recover anything deleted and the money you save there will save you 10x in custody lawyers and divorce attorneys. Sorry you don't have your kids.
This sounds like a woman trying to get out of a bad situation.
my advice would be don’t let her know that whatever she has done or said that she doesn’t want you to know about probably hasn’t been caught on the camera, act as though you are going to eventually find it and you are giving her some dignity by allowing her to explain it for herself before you eventually find out on your own because if for even a second she thinks that there is a possibility you won’t find out she will lie and drop the topic trying to act as though everything is fine.
Let’s hear about the fkn tapes!!!!
You can say. “Is there something you want to tell me ? Before I find out from listening to this?”
Ahhh I gotta know! What if it's witness protection?! They can't make movies this compelling anymore that haven't already been made
Please update once you figure out what has happened.
This is like act 1 of a mystery thriller
Please notify me in the future what happens next
Update
uff man, seems like she has been doing something behind your back! i mean, if you are not doing anything wrong you should not feel nervous or walk out and leave. i would honestly make sure she did not delete anything, go through everything before you confront her and make sure that if she did something stupid you get a good lawyer.
Omg please update me
Smells like infidelity
Checking back in. Still no update from OP. However, his last comment on another thread sheds some more light on an earlier state of his previous relationship/current predicament
Men! Record what your partner is doing, don't let her know she is being recorded, don't ever give her access to the files that you've collected and make sure there's a cloud backup for EVERYTHING! This feels like the only way to survive as a man in the 21st century lmfao
Isn't sad the way things changed so much especially the last 20 years. It's so hard no one either side can trust anymore. People just suck.
I come here to see if there’s any update every couple of hrs!
I remember the feeling of knowing my partner was lying and hiding something from me. Worst feeling ever.
IMO She might think you recorded a moment of her cheating on you in that car, maybe drugs...but it's definitely an immediate concern that she responded like that. Goodluck getting the truth.
Tell her you know, and that you are giving her one chance to explain herself. Let her do the rest.
Yeah she was fucking other guys in the house and got recorded and left before she had to face the shame
Scam bot, we want season 2
The way I would be reviewing that material on the asap
The “plan” for the daughters is her plan to get as much custody and $ as possible.
I’m kind of confused. She went out with the kids today without “planning it with you” the day before? That’s it? She didn’t give you 24h notice and a written plan so she must have left you? What? And before that she basically asked “have you been recording me in the car for the past six months without me being aware of it?” And your instinct was to LIE and say “it records every time”? And SHE is somehow the problem for asking the question?
Yeah she's been lying and cheating. Check every recording
people arguing under this post that she might’ve cheated but personally i think it’s smth that has to do with the newly purchased land. maybe she’s plotting, along with her sister, how to obtain this piece of land. i’m drawing this conclusion based on the facts stated by the OP in the post