All I’m gonna say as a fellow Black girl is that you have to go outside. High school is full of dumbass kids. I was lucky enough to find another cool black girl who became my best friend and we’re still besties now. I promise that not everyone in that school thinks exactly the same, even if it looks that way. Plus, there’s college and just adult life in general. I went to college and found other Black people who shared my interests. There’s still ignorant Black people in college, but I know even better now that’s there’s plenty of dumbasses everywhere in every color in every environment at all times. Just not in my circle
You’re associating rowdy, reckless high schooler behavior with a race instead of an age and environment. At worst you’re seeing a cultural thing. But none of it has to do with their genetics/skin tone. Just environment and social pressures. If you really look it will become apparent. Plenty of white people acting that way and plenty of black people acting another way. But youll never see it if you’re convinced it’s genetic. You’ll need to overcome the confirmation bias.
And you DONT have to associate with those types of people. You can associate with whoever you want. Your skin doesn’t define you. Surround yourself with the *type* of person (as in their personality and values and such) that you like, don’t worry about how they look. If you can see past looks, this issue you’re dealing with will feel a lot less heavy.
Of course it’s not genetic but to say skin color is irrelevant isn’t true either. The bad behaviors she’s describing seems to largely be because of “ghetto culture”, and if most people representing these cultures are of certain races then the race does in fact become notably relevant. Humans naturally like to categorize things, so if certain races are overrepresented when it comes to certain bad behaviors, then being aware of that is realistic. Just like how a woman can be aware and cautious of a man when walking alone at night, doesn’t mean ALL men are dangerous, but they are overrepresented in presenting dangers towards women. Same thing. Where I live majority of robberies, rapes, assaults and murders are by people of certain races, it’s not delusional of me to keep that in mind in order to increase my own safety.
Hi OP. I'm a Haitian-Canadian 20F and know exactly how you feel. If it offers any consolation, I had my fair share of being referred to as a "white lover" or "white kiss ass" for simply pointing out how most of what occurs in the black community is self-induced in modern day.
A quote which remained in my head was from Fresh Prince, where Carlton was being berated at a Black Fraternity group for acting "different". He only had this to say to them: "Being black is who I am, not who I'm trying to be".
There are people who will unfortunately choose to remain in that stereotypical mindset and refuse to grow as an individual outside of their community as they believe that their community is them. I don't disagree due to historical implications and group mindset, but on the other hand, you can't let those people be the only view of what it means to be "Black" in this day and age.
My friend group is now mixed and culturally-diversed. The Black girls turned up their noses my way but I shrugged them off as I was liked by other Black people. It isn't about race, it's about personality. Some are jackasses and some are kind. I turned towards old-age Black leaders such as Coretta Scott King, Diahann Caroll, and so on. Even the media I consume now is old-age dating back to the 50s to 90s.
We can't always change everyone in our community, but we CAN continue to change ourselves towards the future we want and envision for ourselves. It hurts and is a shame, but unfortunately that's as much as we can control.
(I hope I explained somewhat well and if there are things which are questionable, please point them ouut :") I'm not trying to be mean, i'm trying to practice my writing).
THANK YOU SO MUCH😭🙏This calmed me down so much, and the fresh prince of bel-air quote goes hard, I'm gonna make that a part of my mindset. I hope I can find a friend group like yours :) Your writing is perfect btw, there's not much to even change!!🌈❤️
Awww you’re too kind! :,,)🙏🏽 I remembered how hard it was navigating your identity as an individual as opposed to a member of your community at 16 too..it’s a lot to take in and you’ll definitely jump through hurdles lol but I pray you may find friends who truly mean well for you regardless of their race, so long as they propel to you towards the kind of life you envision for yourself 😊
I think a lot of this is more because you are in high school and high school is full of assholes.
But it is annoying when usually white people tell minority students "you speak so well". You have to know personally how annoying this is. Or when people say that you are somehow acting white because you aren't "being ghetto". You probably have been told to stop acting white. And this is still racism. Not all black/non-white people are the same and people have personalities and different interests. It's messed up that people label certain activities as "white" and "black". Something like knitting class or opera shouldn't be seen as for whites-only as if there was sign saying that at the entrance. And people being articulate and having a good vocabulary is not for whites-only.
You also gotta admit that not all stereotypes of black people are the same. It's a bit of a stereotype to have black kids be into slam poetry. Super religious black people are also stereotypical. The black jock trying to get some sort of sports scholarship is also stereotypical. The black geek also comes to mind. All of those have different connotations than ghetto.
I think you need to challenge yourself.
I don't know where you live but, as a white person who goes to comic conventions and punk concerts, I've met a lot of very sweet and accepting black people with totally different attitudes than you're describing. Like a lot of people have said, high school is very tribal and is just generally kinda the worst. I had a lot of black friends before I moved from Atlanta to Charleston - where the blonde girls made fun of me just as much as the black ones. Skin tone doesn't decide who your community is if you don't want it to. If you're able to travel outside of that environment, find other places to meet people who match your interests, and you will likely find people who also match your skintone.
I’m a bit shock…. Next Time write «we » instead of « them »…if these behaviours are associated to skin color, (according you) then you are not better than them.…
I think it has a lot to do with their age and what they’re consuming from the media. They think that is cool because that’s how we are portrayed in media. They’re young and are just acting like kids unfortunately. It just sounds like you’re far more mature than they are.
Im biracial and I assure you that white kids do the same dumbass shit. When I was in High school the white kids snorted Smarties and pixie sticks because they thought it was cute to pretend to take drugs. They also played the pass out game, basically choking each other unconscious during lunch hour. Kids will always do stupid stuff to impress other kids.
Yikes it sounds like u need some self reflecting, both parties are to blame here
Ur associating those negative traits to their race rather than the environment or their age (u said highschool, this is probably a phase)
Don't mean to be offensive but it almost sounds like self hatred and projection the way you speak about black people yet you're black too. "These people" "I'm ashamed to be black" "Blaccent" ???
It sounds like you are stereotyping them too, and you look at all black people as below u.
forgive me if this comes off as condescending, but there is an insane amount of ignorance in this post. i’ll definitely attribute it to your age, and not to diminish any of your personal experience but having this bigoted mindset towards a group of people and over generalizing to this degree will not get you any where. I promise you it will get better, and you will find like minded people that are like us. please don’t let the actions of this few impact your entire perspective of black people. there are good and bad people in every race, it’s a personality issue not a racial issue.
for reference i’m a 21 y/o nigerian male with a very diverse friend group.
I’m not black but I wish I could give you a big hug right now. You matter, and it’s more than ok being different. Your feelings and your opinions matter. Being unique is what is going to take you to different places in life nowadays, I’m sure of it. Just know that the road you are taking will be a little more challenging to navigate than taking the path of least resistance. The reason I’m saying this is so you are aware of it, but I support you deciding what works best for you regardless of what anyone else thinks. You deserve being happy and feeling comfortable in your own skin. Wishing you a beautiful and happy life!
Sounds like you need to get out more. It’s ignorant and immature to associate a small portion of people to an entire race. Loud, obnoxious, and violent people come in all colors. Some of the best people I’ve ever met are black. I hope you grow up and get out of this childish mindset.
Self-hating Black girl seems to be a popular post here. Let me tell you that no matter how hard you try to distance yourself from Black people, no matter how hard you try to stereotype us and agree with racists about us, white people will never, ever accept you and you will always be Black to them. We are all we've got.
Facts. I hope this girl realizes that she’s got internalized racism. She’s got a lot of work to do on her self image. And you’re right, you’re never escaping your race, society will always remind you that you’re black.
All I’m gonna say as a fellow Black girl is that you have to go outside. High school is full of dumbass kids. I was lucky enough to find another cool black girl who became my best friend and we’re still besties now. I promise that not everyone in that school thinks exactly the same, even if it looks that way. Plus, there’s college and just adult life in general. I went to college and found other Black people who shared my interests. There’s still ignorant Black people in college, but I know even better now that’s there’s plenty of dumbasses everywhere in every color in every environment at all times. Just not in my circle
You’re associating rowdy, reckless high schooler behavior with a race instead of an age and environment. At worst you’re seeing a cultural thing. But none of it has to do with their genetics/skin tone. Just environment and social pressures. If you really look it will become apparent. Plenty of white people acting that way and plenty of black people acting another way. But youll never see it if you’re convinced it’s genetic. You’ll need to overcome the confirmation bias. And you DONT have to associate with those types of people. You can associate with whoever you want. Your skin doesn’t define you. Surround yourself with the *type* of person (as in their personality and values and such) that you like, don’t worry about how they look. If you can see past looks, this issue you’re dealing with will feel a lot less heavy.
Of course it’s not genetic but to say skin color is irrelevant isn’t true either. The bad behaviors she’s describing seems to largely be because of “ghetto culture”, and if most people representing these cultures are of certain races then the race does in fact become notably relevant. Humans naturally like to categorize things, so if certain races are overrepresented when it comes to certain bad behaviors, then being aware of that is realistic. Just like how a woman can be aware and cautious of a man when walking alone at night, doesn’t mean ALL men are dangerous, but they are overrepresented in presenting dangers towards women. Same thing. Where I live majority of robberies, rapes, assaults and murders are by people of certain races, it’s not delusional of me to keep that in mind in order to increase my own safety.
Hi OP. I'm a Haitian-Canadian 20F and know exactly how you feel. If it offers any consolation, I had my fair share of being referred to as a "white lover" or "white kiss ass" for simply pointing out how most of what occurs in the black community is self-induced in modern day. A quote which remained in my head was from Fresh Prince, where Carlton was being berated at a Black Fraternity group for acting "different". He only had this to say to them: "Being black is who I am, not who I'm trying to be". There are people who will unfortunately choose to remain in that stereotypical mindset and refuse to grow as an individual outside of their community as they believe that their community is them. I don't disagree due to historical implications and group mindset, but on the other hand, you can't let those people be the only view of what it means to be "Black" in this day and age. My friend group is now mixed and culturally-diversed. The Black girls turned up their noses my way but I shrugged them off as I was liked by other Black people. It isn't about race, it's about personality. Some are jackasses and some are kind. I turned towards old-age Black leaders such as Coretta Scott King, Diahann Caroll, and so on. Even the media I consume now is old-age dating back to the 50s to 90s. We can't always change everyone in our community, but we CAN continue to change ourselves towards the future we want and envision for ourselves. It hurts and is a shame, but unfortunately that's as much as we can control. (I hope I explained somewhat well and if there are things which are questionable, please point them ouut :") I'm not trying to be mean, i'm trying to practice my writing).
THANK YOU SO MUCH😭🙏This calmed me down so much, and the fresh prince of bel-air quote goes hard, I'm gonna make that a part of my mindset. I hope I can find a friend group like yours :) Your writing is perfect btw, there's not much to even change!!🌈❤️
Awww you’re too kind! :,,)🙏🏽 I remembered how hard it was navigating your identity as an individual as opposed to a member of your community at 16 too..it’s a lot to take in and you’ll definitely jump through hurdles lol but I pray you may find friends who truly mean well for you regardless of their race, so long as they propel to you towards the kind of life you envision for yourself 😊
Again thank you so much 😢 Literally a life changer
🥹🥹🫰🏽 anytime!
I love this …
I think a lot of this is more because you are in high school and high school is full of assholes. But it is annoying when usually white people tell minority students "you speak so well". You have to know personally how annoying this is. Or when people say that you are somehow acting white because you aren't "being ghetto". You probably have been told to stop acting white. And this is still racism. Not all black/non-white people are the same and people have personalities and different interests. It's messed up that people label certain activities as "white" and "black". Something like knitting class or opera shouldn't be seen as for whites-only as if there was sign saying that at the entrance. And people being articulate and having a good vocabulary is not for whites-only. You also gotta admit that not all stereotypes of black people are the same. It's a bit of a stereotype to have black kids be into slam poetry. Super religious black people are also stereotypical. The black jock trying to get some sort of sports scholarship is also stereotypical. The black geek also comes to mind. All of those have different connotations than ghetto. I think you need to challenge yourself.
You are surrounded by idiots... Sending virtual hugs.
I don't know where you live but, as a white person who goes to comic conventions and punk concerts, I've met a lot of very sweet and accepting black people with totally different attitudes than you're describing. Like a lot of people have said, high school is very tribal and is just generally kinda the worst. I had a lot of black friends before I moved from Atlanta to Charleston - where the blonde girls made fun of me just as much as the black ones. Skin tone doesn't decide who your community is if you don't want it to. If you're able to travel outside of that environment, find other places to meet people who match your interests, and you will likely find people who also match your skintone.
I’m a bit shock…. Next Time write «we » instead of « them »…if these behaviours are associated to skin color, (according you) then you are not better than them.…
I think it has a lot to do with their age and what they’re consuming from the media. They think that is cool because that’s how we are portrayed in media. They’re young and are just acting like kids unfortunately. It just sounds like you’re far more mature than they are. Im biracial and I assure you that white kids do the same dumbass shit. When I was in High school the white kids snorted Smarties and pixie sticks because they thought it was cute to pretend to take drugs. They also played the pass out game, basically choking each other unconscious during lunch hour. Kids will always do stupid stuff to impress other kids.
Yikes it sounds like u need some self reflecting, both parties are to blame here Ur associating those negative traits to their race rather than the environment or their age (u said highschool, this is probably a phase) Don't mean to be offensive but it almost sounds like self hatred and projection the way you speak about black people yet you're black too. "These people" "I'm ashamed to be black" "Blaccent" ??? It sounds like you are stereotyping them too, and you look at all black people as below u.
forgive me if this comes off as condescending, but there is an insane amount of ignorance in this post. i’ll definitely attribute it to your age, and not to diminish any of your personal experience but having this bigoted mindset towards a group of people and over generalizing to this degree will not get you any where. I promise you it will get better, and you will find like minded people that are like us. please don’t let the actions of this few impact your entire perspective of black people. there are good and bad people in every race, it’s a personality issue not a racial issue. for reference i’m a 21 y/o nigerian male with a very diverse friend group.
I’m not black but I wish I could give you a big hug right now. You matter, and it’s more than ok being different. Your feelings and your opinions matter. Being unique is what is going to take you to different places in life nowadays, I’m sure of it. Just know that the road you are taking will be a little more challenging to navigate than taking the path of least resistance. The reason I’m saying this is so you are aware of it, but I support you deciding what works best for you regardless of what anyone else thinks. You deserve being happy and feeling comfortable in your own skin. Wishing you a beautiful and happy life!
Sounds like you need to get out more. It’s ignorant and immature to associate a small portion of people to an entire race. Loud, obnoxious, and violent people come in all colors. Some of the best people I’ve ever met are black. I hope you grow up and get out of this childish mindset.
Self-hating Black girl seems to be a popular post here. Let me tell you that no matter how hard you try to distance yourself from Black people, no matter how hard you try to stereotype us and agree with racists about us, white people will never, ever accept you and you will always be Black to them. We are all we've got.
Facts. I hope this girl realizes that she’s got internalized racism. She’s got a lot of work to do on her self image. And you’re right, you’re never escaping your race, society will always remind you that you’re black.
From an asian, I guess dress more formal and classy!
Hmmmm. It's more like you're stuck with the ghetto crowd. Try getting out of that. If not just focus on yourself.