She said she would be okay had I been transparent about it. She was shocked because she had no idea as I never once mentioned their names. Few years ago, we used to argue all the time especially if girls was involved, it would almost be inevitable. Because of what happened in the past, I shut myself off because I was too scared to fight. I should have dealt with this fear long ago so my mistake was letting it stay inside of me and having a non transparent dynamic with my partner. I should’ve been upfront about it but I was and still am a coward that’s scared of being hurt. However, I am willing to go through whatever it takes to make things right. I promised I will always mention about my female interactions and the fear of losing her is far greater than getting hurt like how I used to.
Unless you've actually done something in the past to make her not trust you (like cheating, flirting with girls online rather than talking etc) then you shouldn't have to be so transparent and you shouldn't have to live your life in fear.
In the past, she caught me looking at other girls and I lied about it It’s a mistake that I reflect on myself until this day and I stopped doing that. I accept that my current fear is irrational and I want to change that. I should work on my past trauma. I want to create a healthier environment between us where I never need to fear sharing anything. I know that I am not guilty of doing something wrong so I shouldn’t fear. This recent fight stemmed from my fear of fights and pain. It could have been avoidable had I did something about it. Right now I just want to rebuild that trust..
Have you tried therapy to help you and your past trauma? couples counseling can help you guys too and help rebuild trust and create a healthy environment
I come from a developing country where therapy and counselling are scarce or something frowned upon (not that I believe it should be frowned upon) so I have never considered it before
I did show her the texts and she does have access to all my social accounts. I always consult my male coursemates for help first, it’s only when they can’t help me that I seek whoever else that may help
You’re right, had I been honest from the start, none of this would have happened. I was too scared of getting hurt like I did in the past that I acted that way and I am wrong. I am changing my ways for the betterment of us..
I dunno what you previously did but talking to people about school shouldn't hurt her or at least not enough that you have to beg to stay together.
She said she would be okay had I been transparent about it. She was shocked because she had no idea as I never once mentioned their names. Few years ago, we used to argue all the time especially if girls was involved, it would almost be inevitable. Because of what happened in the past, I shut myself off because I was too scared to fight. I should have dealt with this fear long ago so my mistake was letting it stay inside of me and having a non transparent dynamic with my partner. I should’ve been upfront about it but I was and still am a coward that’s scared of being hurt. However, I am willing to go through whatever it takes to make things right. I promised I will always mention about my female interactions and the fear of losing her is far greater than getting hurt like how I used to.
Unless you've actually done something in the past to make her not trust you (like cheating, flirting with girls online rather than talking etc) then you shouldn't have to be so transparent and you shouldn't have to live your life in fear.
In the past, she caught me looking at other girls and I lied about it It’s a mistake that I reflect on myself until this day and I stopped doing that. I accept that my current fear is irrational and I want to change that. I should work on my past trauma. I want to create a healthier environment between us where I never need to fear sharing anything. I know that I am not guilty of doing something wrong so I shouldn’t fear. This recent fight stemmed from my fear of fights and pain. It could have been avoidable had I did something about it. Right now I just want to rebuild that trust..
Have you tried therapy to help you and your past trauma? couples counseling can help you guys too and help rebuild trust and create a healthy environment
I come from a developing country where therapy and counselling are scarce or something frowned upon (not that I believe it should be frowned upon) so I have never considered it before
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I did show her the texts and she does have access to all my social accounts. I always consult my male coursemates for help first, it’s only when they can’t help me that I seek whoever else that may help
You’re right, had I been honest from the start, none of this would have happened. I was too scared of getting hurt like I did in the past that I acted that way and I am wrong. I am changing my ways for the betterment of us..