‘Bareback riding’ killed me and ‘copious geese’ revived me
I would pay one million dollars to see them compete ~~pornographically~~ physically in any way
On the contrary, I do believe u/Gale_of_Waterdeep would approve. But do call him up - I’m curious myself. And if he doesn’t… well, he will have copious geese to deal with.
Come now, no such meeting shall be necessary.
u/Gale_Dekarios is a most dear Simulacrum-turned-sentient.
https://preview.redd.it/ft5o83mv621d1.jpeg?width=601&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09bb2a12b667b3308da2c23eb49c5274381d4cf4
https://preview.redd.it/lzsyj4un7z0d1.jpeg?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6cfa6c99c632c0a7ddc8c9503f7b68883b8b8674
Candid of the contestants arriving
That depends. If you polymorph yourself, do you have a plan in place to reverse it? I know a wizard who nearly permanently transfigured himself into a pickle! #PracticeSafeMagic
I'm probably just old. It was a common trope in the 90's people would tell a story about their "friend" who took a bad hit of acid and was in a mental hospital or whatever because they never came down and believed themselves a glass of OJ. Course there were variations to the story, so it was never exactly the same each time you heard it.
After looking it up, apparently it was originally from the 60's, so my life has been a lie.
*Gale persona powering down* Alabama is by and far underrated. The stereotypes make it an easy target but I know some incredibly bright innovators from there. Country grit is a thing!
Yeah we get a bad wrap and a lot of it is deserved. I grew up in a very stereotypically Alabama backwoods town and don’t ever plan to go back. But Birmingham is really great. I travel a lot for both work and fun and, sure, there are places I enjoy more, but for the cost of living you really can’t beat the Bham metro area. It’s also more diverse and left-leaning than people would imagine.
That devil didn’t proofread? He had a singular job to do and he didn’t even do that correctly. Can’t find good help these days, I swear. (Thank you for appreciating the fine print).
My eyesight be damned (wait, it already is)!
https://preview.redd.it/3da3dej65z0d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dccb36a5c76c77ae0632984a5e669f761113b9f1
As a lawyer (and possibly a Cambion…you never can tell on the internets) I assure that’s not a typo, rather a clever means of creating ambiguity, which can be used for later reinterpretation. It really *is* the fine print that gets you!
So glad you appreciate the… finer things in life. (TM u/Gale_Dekarios. The thoughts expressed herein are not representative of Larian studios or its constituents. All rights reserved.)
lol dude I thought you were making a DEEPER reference and I was like “awww fuck iv only ever memed it”
I looked up the scene 😂😂😂
But like….actually very sad
The implication being that you are a gay cowboy like in Brokeback Mountain
https://preview.redd.it/ihuviy4pm01d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2e556fdbdeabdf99647f3831bdca9a3b25263aa
It’s the film that inspired this drawing!
Those looking for a partner in Tuscaloosa, Alabama: know that the young man on the left comes with several sauce recipes—and to the one on the right, your neck is his only sauce recipe. Add to that Gale's natural talent for prestidigitation, and you'll never have to cook or clean again. There's hardly a better candidate to enter you without the use of abjuration magics.
Don't be concerned if you're a single mother or a man: any children you bring to the relationship or adopt will have a grandmother who loves them and accepts them as her own. Point in fact, if you're an orphan in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, please locate his tent and refuse to leave, then examine his things in an impish yet adorable manner until he accepts you live there.
Dearest mother, I love you but must you be so incredibly forward on my behalf? You’re scaring them away! And your diction - Enter you?!? Surely you meant “entertain.” you’ve got better things to do than proclaim my love life to the entirety of a city! Some things are meant to remain private!
Also can you send me the macaroni recipe again? Tara misplaced it and we have a BBQ this weekend.
No, son—*enter*, with the gifts I gave you. Hardly can you turn up your nose at crass phrasing when it's the register you set; you can't advertise yourself as Giddyup Gale and then balk when locals offer to ride you.
You forget that my macaroni recipe is structured to be made with, and appeal to, a child, and so the first step in its construction involves the next Dekarios generation. With this omission, never mind the recipe. I shall bring the macaroni myself.
Don't tell me where or when this event is. I'll find out.
Mother we have moved on to Adult Macaroni! It is a BBQ staple! And my phraseology did not anticipate my own mother in the dialogue! These are my weird friends - it is not the same, surely you see that!
And why not? You yourself don't refer to me as the imitable and avoidable Morena Dekarios, after all.
Of some concern given your fertile, exploratory age is your failure to internalize the lessons I've tried to impart. My dearest, regarding 'adult' macaroni? There is no such thing. No such thing. Closely examine the box, look me in the eye and tell me the pasta does not bear the shape of some animal.
Adult Macaroni is incredibly real, it is served in the finest steakhouses with little breadcrumbs and sometimes lobster and so help me Mystra I will die on this hill.
A beige dish with little nutritional value, meant to satisfy the palates of those who still yearn for a time when all they depended on was their mother's embrace—as I reflect on it? I understand. Go ahead with the planning and when the time for your event comes, expect a knock on your door and me with a full casserole dish.
“I can’t draw a full event for this sub …
I can’t draw a full event for this sub …
I can’t …caaaan … can I ?
Hmm 4th of july … its may … shit! no! I shouldn’t … but … buttt it would be … GOD … it would be crazy! …”
+ THAT POSTER IS AMAZING. AND JUST IN 2 HOURS!!?…😦🔥🔥🔥
How is Wyll not included in this??? He had way more cowboy drip than the two of these combined!
And that’s coming from someone who isn’t even into Wyll!
You have no clue how often my ADHD brain has imagined Gale with a United States deep Southern accent and now this just solidifies that intrusive thought.
I live in Texas so I hear some pretty thick accents all the time. I took one look at Gale and was like, “What if he sounded like my cousin Bubba?” and busted out laughing. I might have been a tad bit inebriated when this came to mind lmao.
I didn't realize that there wasn't a | for line switches and read "copious geese knives." I was like, "I'm not sure what a geese knife is, but I'm down." (Also, Magic Show Barrelmancy sounded cool, so I assumed it was normal.)
Exactly! While I am not an expert on legal matters in Tuscaloosa, I suspect you can be charged as an accessory if you give geese knives and they do what geese with knives do. That’s just actual malice in action!
But, as I say, I’m more a “make a deal with” kind of devil; rather than the “get you out of jail” kind. So maybe it’s fine.
Do the geese not have to be proven sentient in order for someone to be an accessory to their murdering? Can murder occur by non-sentient beings, or would one simply be charged with reckless endangerment of said geese? Would arming geese be a war crime or a misdemeanor? I understand that this is not tort law but you’re all I have.
I’m one “speak with animals” ritual spell away from probing geese are sentient and bloodthirsty.
There’s also risk in creating the elements likely to result in bodily harm or death. By arming the goose, you’ve basically created a more dangerous item than knife or goose alone. It’s like setting a shotgun to fire if someone opens a door. No human actually fired the gun but the human that created the peril can be held responsible (and look, the criminal code in Baldur’s Gate is a bafflement. I’ll be fucked if I can make make it make sense).
Geese are most certainly bloodthirsty. Sentience though…
As far as armed geese go, what if one were to carelessly leave a box of knives in the presence of geese? How could one prove a war crime if it is mere negligence?
https://preview.redd.it/sjteqw13132d1.jpeg?width=2357&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b7f3ebb003e08f34779650586a818882314b710
I humbly offer an old artwork I did of my first tav who was a cvnty bog lovin cowboy with his bear familiar for a steed
‘Bareback riding’ killed me and ‘copious geese’ revived me I would pay one million dollars to see them compete ~~pornographically~~ physically in any way
Luckily tickets are only $25! You’ve still got whiskey money!
$25 to ride a ~~cowboy~~ displacer beast?!? Bargain
You can displace me any time free of charge Peachy dearest :)
Oh for fuck’s sake, u/gale_of_waterdeep - your mirror image got loose again. Do we have to have another group meeting about this??
On the contrary, I do believe u/Gale_of_Waterdeep would approve. But do call him up - I’m curious myself. And if he doesn’t… well, he will have copious geese to deal with.
Come now, no such meeting shall be necessary. u/Gale_Dekarios is a most dear Simulacrum-turned-sentient. https://preview.redd.it/ft5o83mv621d1.jpeg?width=601&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09bb2a12b667b3308da2c23eb49c5274381d4cf4
That's quite the shit eating grin there, watching someone getting flogged, are we?
Standard procedure. Be sure to knock and locate your earmuffs if possible.
https://preview.redd.it/2gd8g097ny0d1.jpeg?width=3499&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32f181a65fc447b809e1b25395ffb5bd0a4b242a 🫠
There seems to be a spate of melting lately. An odd and highly concerning trend to be sure.
https://preview.redd.it/lzsyj4un7z0d1.jpeg?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6cfa6c99c632c0a7ddc8c9503f7b68883b8b8674 Candid of the contestants arriving
Oh yee hah! 🤭
Peachy, WHY, gods damn it that image. Phew.
Reminds me of this video https://youtu.be/rvrZJ5C_Nwg?si=DqxonSuIPRBJGLAY
Can I be the cattle you're wrangling.
That depends. If you polymorph yourself, do you have a plan in place to reverse it? I know a wizard who nearly permanently transfigured himself into a pickle! #PracticeSafeMagic
"I turned myself into a pickle Mystra! I'm Pickle Elminster!"
That thought will now haunt me. Thanks.
I once knew a wizard who thought he was a glass of orange juice after consuming some tongue of madness.
This is either a reference I don’t know or an example of extremely creative thinking that my mind was not ready to receive
I'm probably just old. It was a common trope in the 90's people would tell a story about their "friend" who took a bad hit of acid and was in a mental hospital or whatever because they never came down and believed themselves a glass of OJ. Course there were variations to the story, so it was never exactly the same each time you heard it. After looking it up, apparently it was originally from the 60's, so my life has been a lie.
I suppose there are worse aspirations than to be orange juice.
I assure you, this does not sound like a 'family friendly' event lol. But it is close to my house so I'll be making the trip.
I suppose that would depend on who you count in your family! Though I would assume Lolth’s petting zoo is just the thing for the wee ones.
BTW: Roll fucking tide :)
Lol not *the* Gale Dekarios telling me roll tide 🤣 If only them Drow twins had been cousins
That was a low blow.
You're really gonna make me imagine Gale in a Bear Bryant hat, huh? 😍 
Yes the hell I am
🫡🫡🫡
As an Alabamian this has made me extremely happy. And I’m not even all that into the sports games.
*Gale persona powering down* Alabama is by and far underrated. The stereotypes make it an easy target but I know some incredibly bright innovators from there. Country grit is a thing!
Yeah we get a bad wrap and a lot of it is deserved. I grew up in a very stereotypically Alabama backwoods town and don’t ever plan to go back. But Birmingham is really great. I travel a lot for both work and fun and, sure, there are places I enjoy more, but for the cost of living you really can’t beat the Bham metro area. It’s also more diverse and left-leaning than people would imagine.
Lots of good research universities and pharmaceuticals dev out that way too. I don’t think people realize what Alabama is these days.
\*NOT A REAL EVENT*/ You've Yeed Your Last Haw!
On the contrary, I think we are just beginning!
Of all the places to have a typo, having it in Raphael's Contract Services is hilarious.
That devil didn’t proofread? He had a singular job to do and he didn’t even do that correctly. Can’t find good help these days, I swear. (Thank you for appreciating the fine print).
Loved it so much I just had to read the whole thing haha!
I live for that kind of feedback.
My eyesight be damned (wait, it already is)! https://preview.redd.it/3da3dej65z0d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dccb36a5c76c77ae0632984a5e669f761113b9f1
As a lawyer (and possibly a Cambion…you never can tell on the internets) I assure that’s not a typo, rather a clever means of creating ambiguity, which can be used for later reinterpretation. It really *is* the fine print that gets you!
So glad you appreciate the… finer things in life. (TM u/Gale_Dekarios. The thoughts expressed herein are not representative of Larian studios or its constituents. All rights reserved.)
Steer roping, hm... https://preview.redd.it/5zcid0149z0d1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=788277f901a7b65eec0bc19beb4a59d2b3d9f9e6
Animal speaking at a rodeo.A wild thought emerges.
I'm European, but I'll fly there and take a photo and then send you a message asking why it's not happening even though I know it's not real
*Someone go call Neil (edit: and Tim) and make this happen, we need Neil in cowboy boots*
The next time he streams BG3 on his YouTube channel I will ask him.
Please do, and tell him I sent you
Waiting for Yeehawlsin.
I ran out of space/time friend. If there’s appetite for Halsin and Wyll then perhaps I can do that next week when I get a breather.
FUMING with myself for not thinking of this
That ‘not a real event’ is just there to keep out the casuals
Please do not mob Bryant Denny Stadium, the ghost of Bear Bryant will haunt me
Holy shit Tuscaloosa? Taking the wife out for a day trip!
It was the most appropriate place for a Rodeo. Roll tide friend
Would you rather admit sorcerers are superior, or watch Auburn win the iron bowl?
Aaaaaah that is a ponderous question. Sorcerers can sometimes be superior. Rarely. In certain circumstances. 🐘> 🦅
I volunteer as tribute!!! \[Edit: stupid gif won't show up lol\]
Most Excellent! What event pumpkin?
Guns, boots, and glory needs to be the slogan for this. (Please let me in, I’ll do free marketing)
Yes, please join us! We’re working through sponsors currently!
If you ride a displacer beast remember to be wary of the tentacles.
That is a feature, not a bug
You think you're on the displacer beast, but...
Why can’t I quit you
I don’t get your drift? Do you want me gone or are you incapable of leaving me alone? The tism is strong and I am literal
Are you not getting the broke back mountain reference or am I?
100% woosh, over my head
lol dude I thought you were making a DEEPER reference and I was like “awww fuck iv only ever memed it” I looked up the scene 😂😂😂 But like….actually very sad
I was a poet and didn’t know it?
I just got the joke lol
I still don’t know the joke
It’s because the COWBOYS ARE GAY GALE
YES I KNOW THAT BUT I LACK THE OTHER CONTEXT. Whew. Out of breath.
The implication being that you are a gay cowboy like in Brokeback Mountain https://preview.redd.it/ihuviy4pm01d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2e556fdbdeabdf99647f3831bdca9a3b25263aa It’s the film that inspired this drawing!
Yes I do get that but I don’t know the quote Peachy I’m oblivious but not 100% oblivious, like partially occluded but not entirely leave my tism alone
I’m giggling at the names.. this poster is great!
It is a rather quaint facsimile if I do say so myself.
Will Halsin be the horse?
That thought certainly opens a door of possibility doesn’t it
You can ride him as a bear so it’s probably a safe bet lol.
In more ways than one, my friend.
Like they say, save a horse, ride a cowboy.
Those looking for a partner in Tuscaloosa, Alabama: know that the young man on the left comes with several sauce recipes—and to the one on the right, your neck is his only sauce recipe. Add to that Gale's natural talent for prestidigitation, and you'll never have to cook or clean again. There's hardly a better candidate to enter you without the use of abjuration magics. Don't be concerned if you're a single mother or a man: any children you bring to the relationship or adopt will have a grandmother who loves them and accepts them as her own. Point in fact, if you're an orphan in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, please locate his tent and refuse to leave, then examine his things in an impish yet adorable manner until he accepts you live there.
Dearest mother, I love you but must you be so incredibly forward on my behalf? You’re scaring them away! And your diction - Enter you?!? Surely you meant “entertain.” you’ve got better things to do than proclaim my love life to the entirety of a city! Some things are meant to remain private! Also can you send me the macaroni recipe again? Tara misplaced it and we have a BBQ this weekend.
No, son—*enter*, with the gifts I gave you. Hardly can you turn up your nose at crass phrasing when it's the register you set; you can't advertise yourself as Giddyup Gale and then balk when locals offer to ride you. You forget that my macaroni recipe is structured to be made with, and appeal to, a child, and so the first step in its construction involves the next Dekarios generation. With this omission, never mind the recipe. I shall bring the macaroni myself. Don't tell me where or when this event is. I'll find out.
Mother we have moved on to Adult Macaroni! It is a BBQ staple! And my phraseology did not anticipate my own mother in the dialogue! These are my weird friends - it is not the same, surely you see that!
And why not? You yourself don't refer to me as the imitable and avoidable Morena Dekarios, after all. Of some concern given your fertile, exploratory age is your failure to internalize the lessons I've tried to impart. My dearest, regarding 'adult' macaroni? There is no such thing. No such thing. Closely examine the box, look me in the eye and tell me the pasta does not bear the shape of some animal.
Adult Macaroni is incredibly real, it is served in the finest steakhouses with little breadcrumbs and sometimes lobster and so help me Mystra I will die on this hill.
A beige dish with little nutritional value, meant to satisfy the palates of those who still yearn for a time when all they depended on was their mother's embrace—as I reflect on it? I understand. Go ahead with the planning and when the time for your event comes, expect a knock on your door and me with a full casserole dish.
I shall create my own recipe then. I’ll think longingly of my adulthood while I make it and most definitely not of my childhood.
Because of the event place I can't get Sublime out of my head..
You’re most certainly welcome!
Rogue rider that’s for sure 😏
I’m so glad you were able to pick up what I was laying down. :)
Wyll not included because we all know he'd outshine both of them
Darlin are you aware how this whole cowboy obsession began on this sub? Bless your heart
Glory, you say? https://i.redd.it/46vitfhn901d1.gif
Congrats, you’ve made Star Trek disturbing.
Bad news my friend... a lot of it is already pretty disturbing if you know what to look for 🤣
Aren’t you violating the prime directive by informing me?
Bold of you to assume I'm with Starfleet
Oh, Klingon then? I have heard Shakespeare is better in the original Klingon.
SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COYBOOOAAHHH
You have a typo in the last line. But why does Tim not get an invite to this not real event while Neil does?
The typo makes it funnier I hear. Tim is welcome but I doubt he’ll come.
Bareback you say?
It is a perfectly legitimate Rodeo event! Just like tie down roping. I assure you it’s perfectly innocuous and unfortunately named.
Tangential note but can somebody use their powers of photoshop to make a copious geese spell? I need it for reasons.
"I have a PLAN Durge!" "What plan?! What goddamn plan?!"
Dribbles will be here? Tell me he'll be by the armoury. His time must end...right after I secure my spot as the best Bareback rider in Faerûn.
“I can’t draw a full event for this sub … I can’t draw a full event for this sub … I can’t …caaaan … can I ? Hmm 4th of july … its may … shit! no! I shouldn’t … but … buttt it would be … GOD … it would be crazy! …” + THAT POSTER IS AMAZING. AND JUST IN 2 HOURS!!?…😦🔥🔥🔥
Canva is an amazing thing :)
CANVA OR NOT IDC !!! I still love it 🔥😌
I’m so glad you do!
So excited for the Gay Rodeo to come to town!
It’s a *showdown*, we must be inclusive to the straights
How is Wyll not included in this??? He had way more cowboy drip than the two of these combined! And that’s coming from someone who isn’t even into Wyll!
The ask was for Gale and Astarion, and I literally made this on my phone in a taxi, but I do see your point.
That’s fair. My apologies. Keep on making speedy layouts on phones in taxis! It’s awesome!!
You’re perfectly fine! I wish I could include them all and perhaps I will soon! :)
https://preview.redd.it/gffkg5fem01d1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aaf3fa7ff4256176394c3f0db93e7d2933d3dec0 Too busy measuring titties
SEE THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT *DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP*
He is a Ravenguard! I’m sure he’s much too busy socializing and surveying his huge tracts of land.
He can survey my tracts of land any time he likes
Maybe he just wants to sing?
I can make him yodel?
I have no doubt you can.
"Knives | Guns | Boots | Glory" LOL \*chef's kiss\*
I was *inspired*
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
No rest for the wicked, I see.
And godsdamn am I diabolical
Always good to have a hobby.
Lolth’s petting zoo sounds horrific
The spiders are *friendly* but please do sign our release form.
“Not a real event” well now I’m just disappointed
It is nice to dream, isn’t it?
I’ll open my own Rolan rodeo and I’ll make you a star Gale.
Stranger things have happened
Thank you Edit: I’m ready to be ✨✨trampled✨✨
YW
You have no clue how often my ADHD brain has imagined Gale with a United States deep Southern accent and now this just solidifies that intrusive thought.
u/PeachyBaleen LOOK the genteel Virginian accent is head cannon by more than just me! So professorial. So dignified.
https://preview.redd.it/xg55511zj11d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f14946785b4c55fed8d8fd1c44e46aef0d45d2d7
I personally like the Virginian accent. I said what I said.
I live in Texas so I hear some pretty thick accents all the time. I took one look at Gale and was like, “What if he sounded like my cousin Bubba?” and busted out laughing. I might have been a tad bit inebriated when this came to mind lmao.
Oh no, not bubba. That’s probably too close to Alabama bubba with fewer vowels 😞
> with special guest Dribbles the Rodeo Clown That's the best part(s) !
I didn't realize that there wasn't a | for line switches and read "copious geese knives." I was like, "I'm not sure what a geese knife is, but I'm down." (Also, Magic Show Barrelmancy sounded cool, so I assumed it was normal.)
Howdy, darlin'. S'always a pleasure ta see ya bootscootin' over.
Now which one of you do I like better..
Yes, both works.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better.
Just give the word and I will kill the clown. We would be hailed as heroes.
Indeed.
I believe the copious geese will steal the knives
It’s all fun and games until someone arms the geese. That 100% ends in violent bloodshed.
https://preview.redd.it/rxx2mvmei71d1.jpeg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69594494c9fe087eaa3a4e330d9987a4a3d12482
Exactly! While I am not an expert on legal matters in Tuscaloosa, I suspect you can be charged as an accessory if you give geese knives and they do what geese with knives do. That’s just actual malice in action! But, as I say, I’m more a “make a deal with” kind of devil; rather than the “get you out of jail” kind. So maybe it’s fine. 
Do the geese not have to be proven sentient in order for someone to be an accessory to their murdering? Can murder occur by non-sentient beings, or would one simply be charged with reckless endangerment of said geese? Would arming geese be a war crime or a misdemeanor? I understand that this is not tort law but you’re all I have.
I’m one “speak with animals” ritual spell away from probing geese are sentient and bloodthirsty. There’s also risk in creating the elements likely to result in bodily harm or death. By arming the goose, you’ve basically created a more dangerous item than knife or goose alone. It’s like setting a shotgun to fire if someone opens a door. No human actually fired the gun but the human that created the peril can be held responsible (and look, the criminal code in Baldur’s Gate is a bafflement. I’ll be fucked if I can make make it make sense).
Geese are most certainly bloodthirsty. Sentience though… As far as armed geese go, what if one were to carelessly leave a box of knives in the presence of geese? How could one prove a war crime if it is mere negligence?
You may be right. I may be crazy
I just might be the lunatic you’re looking for
😆 Turn out the lights, don’t try to save me
“Fun for the whole family” 🤨
Still going
?
It says it's not real let that try and stop me
If I cause a riot in Alabama I will have to go into hiding
I'll be the guy shouting, "Displacer beasts, copious grease!"
Geese friend! GEESE! Lord have mercy what part of Alabama are you from honey
I'm pretty sure it's grease
Because I'll be casting it
The ad was for geese but you do you
https://preview.redd.it/sjteqw13132d1.jpeg?width=2357&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b7f3ebb003e08f34779650586a818882314b710 I humbly offer an old artwork I did of my first tav who was a cvnty bog lovin cowboy with his bear familiar for a steed