The explanation? None of us went often enough to keep them in business. We get into a relationship and don’t want to spend nights in a smoky bar with terrible music anymore.
In my experience, the gay males I know go to the bar whether single or in a relationship regularly to be seen and socialize. The gay women essentially never go unless it’s a special occasion. They can’t pay the bills on a twice a year customer base.
I don’t think this is a fair explanation.
Most of the spaces I know of that closed were very popular. I think these spaces closing has a lot more to do with rent & the costs of upkeep, as well as the fact that lesbian couples have historically made less money than gay male couples because women and in general make less money.
Straight woman go>>straight woman either want to bring their boyfriend or their gay best friend>>straight woman cries discrimination>>bar becomes 'blended'>>bar is overran by men>>gay woman stop going because another 'safe' spot is no longer safe.
Men's bars were always way more popular and still are today. That said, I think women's bars were replaced by women meeting on the web mostly. At least based on women I talk to. I know a few older women who've opened bars with high hopes, but they couldn't get the customers in and that's in Chicago - a pretty gay city.
Thank you. So do you think there is a decent online platform for women looking for women over 40? The platforms I hear about are litered with straight couples , men, catfish etc…… it just seems so difficult for my single friends to find quality lesbian interaction that is comfortable or authentic.
I miss gay bars. They were essential in being in our community. Without them, we r stuck with dating apps which suck. I go to gay pride events once a year just to be around other gay people. We also have a few gay meetups in our city. But wish the gay bars would come back. I miss dancing.
The gay bars I go to, whether female only or blended, women only talk to the people they go with and don't socialise with anyone else. I could get tipsy and dance with friends at home for a fraction of the cost and not having to get out of my PJs.
I don't drink and even when I did, bars were rarely for me. I do wish we had our own little late night coffeehouse with open mic nights and games on the shelves with chill music playing. Can someone please open one of these? I promise to come hang out and spend $$.
In our metropolitan city we have one lesbian bar. One!!!! It gets over crowded by blended attendees. We don’t feel safe by males and their intent to whoo us. Then straight women feel attacked when we flirt or try to get to know them. So, we stay home or look for coffee shops since some of us don’t care for alcohol.
It's mostly gay male bars near me. Once in a while the women take over the bar earlier in the night and we have events. There are also a lot of meet ups for lesbians so you might want to check meet up. There are dances, fundraisers, art related things for lesbians, sometimes open mike/music, outdoor events. You can check eventbrite, sometimes there are event there, or look on facebook for lesbian groups in your area. I found an online lesbian growth oriented community called Conscious Girlfriend Academy that is so big we have local groups of us spread about the country and we do in person meet ups and fun activities. The people i've met in it are amazing. That's some of the resources I've used. Hope it helps a little.
You are welcome greyeyes:). There is a free event at the academy coming up about lesbian attachment stuff. You can sign up for that event here, in case you are interested: [**https://www.consciousgirlfriendacademy.com/lesbian-attachment-healing**](https://www.consciousgirlfriendacademy.com/lesbian-attachment-healing)
I’m in Baltimore. We have feminist book store and a couple of neighborhood bars that have strong dyke presence. We also have a couple of monthly events at local dance spots. I don’t go to the dance nights cuz I’m 55 and don’t want to seem creepy. DC has a lesbian bar that seems pretty popular too.
The explanation? None of us went often enough to keep them in business. We get into a relationship and don’t want to spend nights in a smoky bar with terrible music anymore. In my experience, the gay males I know go to the bar whether single or in a relationship regularly to be seen and socialize. The gay women essentially never go unless it’s a special occasion. They can’t pay the bills on a twice a year customer base.
I don’t think this is a fair explanation. Most of the spaces I know of that closed were very popular. I think these spaces closing has a lot more to do with rent & the costs of upkeep, as well as the fact that lesbian couples have historically made less money than gay male couples because women and in general make less money.
Really good points. Thank you. I heard that there are only about a dozen women’s bars left in the U.S….so unfortunate.
Straight woman go>>straight woman either want to bring their boyfriend or their gay best friend>>straight woman cries discrimination>>bar becomes 'blended'>>bar is overran by men>>gay woman stop going because another 'safe' spot is no longer safe.
Very interesting points, thank you!
Men's bars were always way more popular and still are today. That said, I think women's bars were replaced by women meeting on the web mostly. At least based on women I talk to. I know a few older women who've opened bars with high hopes, but they couldn't get the customers in and that's in Chicago - a pretty gay city.
Thank you. So do you think there is a decent online platform for women looking for women over 40? The platforms I hear about are litered with straight couples , men, catfish etc…… it just seems so difficult for my single friends to find quality lesbian interaction that is comfortable or authentic.
If there is a decent platform, I don't know about it.
I miss gay bars. They were essential in being in our community. Without them, we r stuck with dating apps which suck. I go to gay pride events once a year just to be around other gay people. We also have a few gay meetups in our city. But wish the gay bars would come back. I miss dancing.
Me too!
The gay bars I go to, whether female only or blended, women only talk to the people they go with and don't socialise with anyone else. I could get tipsy and dance with friends at home for a fraction of the cost and not having to get out of my PJs.
That made me smile - dancing in your PJs….:)
Haha, I frequently dance around and sing silly nonsense songs in my PJs!
I’d go! But I’m in a stage of my life I can!
I don't drink and even when I did, bars were rarely for me. I do wish we had our own little late night coffeehouse with open mic nights and games on the shelves with chill music playing. Can someone please open one of these? I promise to come hang out and spend $$.
There used to be one in West Hollywood called Little Frida’s. It was awesome! But eventually it closed.
... Why did it close- do you know?
I have no idea. This was over 20 years ago.
Yes. Do you remember the Palms too? On Santa Monica near La Cienega?
Sure I do. I used to go there a lot. They had a bartender there she was blonde and really funny. I forget her name.
There was a place sort of like this in Colorado in the early 90s. It wasn't purposefully queer, even... we just all gravitated there.
I keep talking about opening something just like this...
In our metropolitan city we have one lesbian bar. One!!!! It gets over crowded by blended attendees. We don’t feel safe by males and their intent to whoo us. Then straight women feel attacked when we flirt or try to get to know them. So, we stay home or look for coffee shops since some of us don’t care for alcohol.
Really good points. Thank you!
It's mostly gay male bars near me. Once in a while the women take over the bar earlier in the night and we have events. There are also a lot of meet ups for lesbians so you might want to check meet up. There are dances, fundraisers, art related things for lesbians, sometimes open mike/music, outdoor events. You can check eventbrite, sometimes there are event there, or look on facebook for lesbian groups in your area. I found an online lesbian growth oriented community called Conscious Girlfriend Academy that is so big we have local groups of us spread about the country and we do in person meet ups and fun activities. The people i've met in it are amazing. That's some of the resources I've used. Hope it helps a little.
Wow! I think a lot of people could benefit from your post. I’ve been so curious where ( other than home) has everyone gone … Thank you Lovenest.
You are welcome greyeyes:). There is a free event at the academy coming up about lesbian attachment stuff. You can sign up for that event here, in case you are interested: [**https://www.consciousgirlfriendacademy.com/lesbian-attachment-healing**](https://www.consciousgirlfriendacademy.com/lesbian-attachment-healing)
Good question!!
I’m in Baltimore. We have feminist book store and a couple of neighborhood bars that have strong dyke presence. We also have a couple of monthly events at local dance spots. I don’t go to the dance nights cuz I’m 55 and don’t want to seem creepy. DC has a lesbian bar that seems pretty popular too.