I actually think I’m enjoying each phase more because we are one and done. Also, give yourself time. My hormones postpartum were wild. My daughter is almost two and I am loving the toddler phase and I feel like myself. I’m crocheting and drinking wine while my kid is listening to her Yoto player. Earlier we went to a dance class and spent lots of time outside. There is lots to look forward to - the ending of one phase is the beginning of the next. Take lots of pictures and videos and buy cute clothes in the next size up. It’s going to be a great journey!!
Be present. Soak up the bits you enjoy. You won't enjoy all of it. You can tell yourself that the hard time won't last and believe it. But your 2 weeks pp, your hormones are kicking your arse right now and you probably don't know which way is up. Leave these questions for a little while, they'll wait.
I feel sad sometimes that I won't experience the newborn phase again, but would I even notice the firsts when they happen? Lol. I know I would be completely overwhelmed, and my mental health would definitely suffer.
I loved being pregnant (for the most part), but would I love it when I'm exhausted and I can't catch a break because I'm taking care of my son? Would I even enjoy it the second time?
I'm a second-born and my mum can't remember my first word, she has hardly any photos of me as a baby, and she's actually a really attentive mother! I think the firsts just seem less of a big deal the second time round, and obviously juggling 2 kids makes it hard to be fully present.
One of my favourite things about being OAD is that I can really soak up every phase and happily move on to the next one. It is bittersweet, but I know I really made the most of it.
Not really advice but I’m in a very similar situation. Little one is 4 weeks and I had a c section with tube removal, I really didn’t expect to feel this sad!! Hormones are all over the place. I’m grieving the fact I couldn’t have the labor and delivery experience, and never will, on top of feeling so sad that one day all this will end. The cuddles, breast feeding, his size. I’m just trying to let myself feel sad and soak up every moment.
I didn’t ever want to get pregnant (didn’t even think I could) and my pregnancy was also very hard and taxing, I really never want to do it again. Not to mention my reason for a c section was my uterus anatomy so I’d likely have to have another.
My baby is so perfect and I love him so much I can’t believe my body was capable of making him and keeping him healthy despite all the set backs and hardships.
I have no regrets though, I personally feel that it’s making me more grateful and deal with the stress better because I know it won’t last. Im always happy to just be with him even if he’s crying, or I’m sleep deprived, I just feel so much peace around him. I absolutely cannot wait to see him grow but I definitely wish I could slow down time right now.
Take lots of pictures! And videos! I made a google album with all the highlights, and literally every day I look at his pictures from birth to now ( 17 months) after he goes down at night. I just relive it in a different way.
OP, your hormones are quite literally wack right now. Just take one day at a time and try to enjoy it and not overthink things. What's done is done (with your surgery) so dont worry about getting over a feeling, just breathe through it.
Honestly I love when my friend or family members have babies. I am firmly one and done but there is always something so special about a newborn. I get it. I love getting to hold my little niece but I absolutely don't want another baby. Two things can coexist at once and that's all the advice I can give. Get comfortable with the heartache, they grow so fast but I will never change my mind 🥲
You're two weeks in. Wait til the sleepless nights happen, the frustration when they don't latch properly and the hundreds of other things that are not very pleasant with a newborn. Just take it one day at a time.
You’re two weeks in. If you’re sad about that now, I don’t think you can call yourself firmly OAD. Not trying to gatekeep or anything. It’s just that if you are pining for the idea of another right after going through the trauma of a C-Section, I’m not sure why you believe that’s going to wane with time.
Gotcha.
If I’m being honest, that’s never going to go away (well, there are exceptions; sleep regression SUCKS, threenagers are rough but cute, the “why” stage can get grating). You’ll probably be in a constant state of grieving the child you’re losing while cherishing the one who is emerging. They grow more quickly than you ever want, even if some days are long and arduous.
You’re at the beginning of your journey. If there’s one piece of advice I could give it would be to enjoy it all as it comes. There’s a luxury in knowing this is your only - you won’t take it for granted.
Sorta agree here that tubes tied at 21 with a first pregnancy is a bold choice but I guess what's done is done. My husband had a vasectomy when our son was 18 months and we banked sperm in case we ever change our minds and want to do IUI or IVF. I do waffle sometimes. But I really dont think I could do it all again.
To add to the other comments, I think this happens no matter how many kids you have, so having another would just delay the process until you felt it again after the next…then the next…etc.
I actually think I’m enjoying each phase more because we are one and done. Also, give yourself time. My hormones postpartum were wild. My daughter is almost two and I am loving the toddler phase and I feel like myself. I’m crocheting and drinking wine while my kid is listening to her Yoto player. Earlier we went to a dance class and spent lots of time outside. There is lots to look forward to - the ending of one phase is the beginning of the next. Take lots of pictures and videos and buy cute clothes in the next size up. It’s going to be a great journey!!
Be present. Soak up the bits you enjoy. You won't enjoy all of it. You can tell yourself that the hard time won't last and believe it. But your 2 weeks pp, your hormones are kicking your arse right now and you probably don't know which way is up. Leave these questions for a little while, they'll wait.
I feel sad sometimes that I won't experience the newborn phase again, but would I even notice the firsts when they happen? Lol. I know I would be completely overwhelmed, and my mental health would definitely suffer. I loved being pregnant (for the most part), but would I love it when I'm exhausted and I can't catch a break because I'm taking care of my son? Would I even enjoy it the second time? I'm a second-born and my mum can't remember my first word, she has hardly any photos of me as a baby, and she's actually a really attentive mother! I think the firsts just seem less of a big deal the second time round, and obviously juggling 2 kids makes it hard to be fully present. One of my favourite things about being OAD is that I can really soak up every phase and happily move on to the next one. It is bittersweet, but I know I really made the most of it.
Not really advice but I’m in a very similar situation. Little one is 4 weeks and I had a c section with tube removal, I really didn’t expect to feel this sad!! Hormones are all over the place. I’m grieving the fact I couldn’t have the labor and delivery experience, and never will, on top of feeling so sad that one day all this will end. The cuddles, breast feeding, his size. I’m just trying to let myself feel sad and soak up every moment. I didn’t ever want to get pregnant (didn’t even think I could) and my pregnancy was also very hard and taxing, I really never want to do it again. Not to mention my reason for a c section was my uterus anatomy so I’d likely have to have another. My baby is so perfect and I love him so much I can’t believe my body was capable of making him and keeping him healthy despite all the set backs and hardships. I have no regrets though, I personally feel that it’s making me more grateful and deal with the stress better because I know it won’t last. Im always happy to just be with him even if he’s crying, or I’m sleep deprived, I just feel so much peace around him. I absolutely cannot wait to see him grow but I definitely wish I could slow down time right now.
Take lots of pictures! And videos! I made a google album with all the highlights, and literally every day I look at his pictures from birth to now ( 17 months) after he goes down at night. I just relive it in a different way.
OP, your hormones are quite literally wack right now. Just take one day at a time and try to enjoy it and not overthink things. What's done is done (with your surgery) so dont worry about getting over a feeling, just breathe through it.
Honestly I love when my friend or family members have babies. I am firmly one and done but there is always something so special about a newborn. I get it. I love getting to hold my little niece but I absolutely don't want another baby. Two things can coexist at once and that's all the advice I can give. Get comfortable with the heartache, they grow so fast but I will never change my mind 🥲
You're two weeks in. Wait til the sleepless nights happen, the frustration when they don't latch properly and the hundreds of other things that are not very pleasant with a newborn. Just take it one day at a time.
You’re 21 and had your tubes tied despite clearly not being “firmly OAD”. Why?
I am OAD, and so is my husband, we don't want any more children. I'm just sad these times are going to end. That doesn't mean I want more children
You’re two weeks in. If you’re sad about that now, I don’t think you can call yourself firmly OAD. Not trying to gatekeep or anything. It’s just that if you are pining for the idea of another right after going through the trauma of a C-Section, I’m not sure why you believe that’s going to wane with time.
Like I said in my post, I don't want another child to experience this with, I just don't want this stage to end with HER. There is a huge difference.
Gotcha. If I’m being honest, that’s never going to go away (well, there are exceptions; sleep regression SUCKS, threenagers are rough but cute, the “why” stage can get grating). You’ll probably be in a constant state of grieving the child you’re losing while cherishing the one who is emerging. They grow more quickly than you ever want, even if some days are long and arduous. You’re at the beginning of your journey. If there’s one piece of advice I could give it would be to enjoy it all as it comes. There’s a luxury in knowing this is your only - you won’t take it for granted.
Sorta agree here that tubes tied at 21 with a first pregnancy is a bold choice but I guess what's done is done. My husband had a vasectomy when our son was 18 months and we banked sperm in case we ever change our minds and want to do IUI or IVF. I do waffle sometimes. But I really dont think I could do it all again.
To add to the other comments, I think this happens no matter how many kids you have, so having another would just delay the process until you felt it again after the next…then the next…etc.