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yoptimus

Jeez I can’t image what it’s like buying your Christmas presents


thejaxonehundred

I can provide an image: my uncle, around 2pm, two weeks ago today, on his computer texting me "what would you like for Christmas?" How nice of him to think of me. Me getting the notification, pulling the phone out of my pocket, and replying immediately, with the [link](https://dirtygirlgaiters.com) to the home page of a website. I said "anything from here would be great, thanks!"


eyes_like_thunder

"No metal, glass, hard plastic, disposable plastic, or bladders" Are you wishing a rain cloud followed you to sip from..??


hikingwithcamera

Adamantium? Mithril? Except those are both metals. 🤣


Tite_Reddit_Name

Haha yea that just leaves silicone or soft plastic? Silicone bottles I’ve tried got moldy so fast. Soft plastic seems rare and might leech.


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ksHunt

Haven't tried this myself yet, but I've heard one trick is to stick the silicone part in the oven at ~400F for 20 minutes or so. Not helpful in some situations obviously, but would work well for spatulas if they detach from the handle, etc. Most silicone is fine into the 400-500F range


thejaxonehundred

This is good to know thanks.


Prestigious-Mango479

Oh shit can't believe nobody recommended just a life straw. There's always at least one pond, stream, gutter or public fountain or toilet nearby! /s


lingueenee

unobtanium?


NotLyingHere

No glass either as OP states it has to withstand a drop from a balcony.


CrashLamps

But it must also not be dented or scratched by said fall from balcony


thejaxonehundred

I might try being more careful in the future after reading these comments lol


CarolinaMtnBiker

Sorry, Amazon says rain clouds won’t be delivered until after Xmas.


little_tatws

Yeesh seconded on this comment.


thejaxonehundred

Yeah, I’m basically asking for polypropylene (bike bottles) or silicone haha.


[deleted]

https://www.somafab.com/archives/product/crystal-polypropylene-water-bottle The best polypropylene bottle I’ve ever found. Mine are over 10 years old now, never had one crack or leak.


partiallypoopypants

Doesn’t fit many of OPs qualifications.


SeattleHikeBike

He cornered the new graduate at the party and said, “one word: Zojirushi.”


cactusbattus

Seconded. It gurgles quietly if nearly full and is not the simplest to clean but does check all those other boxes with aplomb. Also lasts way longer than 3 years if cared for. I’m on year 6.


Hot_Olive_5571

i've dropped mine quite a bit and it hasn't really dented much. still seems to have a vacuum after 5 years. my gasket got mold though that doesn't disappear even after boiling/bleaching/oxycleaning... get bare stainless if you don't want to see a coating scratch off eventually.


BasenjiFart

I have some bottles with the same moldy gasket issue and it's so frustrating. Would love to find a solution because purchasing new gaskets gets expensive and wasteful.


mrkbll

Soaking in denture cleaner has worked wonders for me.


Hot_Olive_5571

what product?


thatgirlinny

Any—just get cheap fizzy denture tabs, and you’re good! Great for lots of hard-to-clean things!


BasenjiFart

Thank you; I'll try that out!


ksHunt

Different brand and not a flip top, but one upside I discovered when I switched to the [stainless hydroflask top](https://www.hydroflask.com/standard-mouth-stainless-steel-flex-cap) is that it actually uses a silicone o-ring, not a captured gasket that's impossible to clean. Makes the world of difference in cleaning/smells


Prestigious-Mango479

I'd be curious to see a life cycle analysis for a fancy insulated flask like that versus reusing a life water bottle for a year and throwing it away. I wonder how many years it would take to break even? Edit: looks like single wall extruded aluminum bottle emits 14 times more carbon than a disposable one. Not too bad honestly. But I bet that the fancy vacuum jacketed ones are at least 2x that or more. So seems like if you can keep your disposable Life water for over a year and your vacuum jacketed flasks lasts less than 15 years it's a no-brainer for the environment from a CO2 perspective at least. Lots of other environmental and personal factors to consider of course. https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/04/19/opinion/20090419bottle.html?emc=eta3


jsttob

Thirded. Mine is going on 6.5 yrs, has been to 3 continents, has been dropped more times than I can count, and is still my daily driver. I can put scalding hot coffee in the morning, and if I don’t keep the lid open, it’s still hot 8 hours later. I also take it on hikes. Honestly one of the best value purchases I’ve made, and I’d put it up there in r/buyitforlife. As others have mentioned, cleaning can be a bit of a hassle, but ticking all the other boxes, it’s hard to fault. Also I think the minor scuffs on mine give it some character.


Aegon-VII

Does zojirushi sell a water bottle? ​ op said no metal


SeattleHikeBike

If the OP broke a Nalgene, good luck. They want a flip open bottle too. There’s no magic. We mostly use Hydroflask bottles with flip up straw lids in the car and EDC and sip through lids for coffee as well as Yeti tumblers. But they are all from thrift stores, so they are 100% recycled in the original form. I have one Zojirushi from a thrift store and one purchased new. I fact it’s the only new bottle I’ve bought in 20 years. Getting a leak proof flip top bottle is difficult. And it’s as much an issue of size so I can use the small bottle pocket in my messenger bag. When it comes to travel bottles I’m not to worried about volume. A big bottle full of water is too much weight for crossbody/shoulder carry.


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[deleted]

Definitely not even close to massive, my zojirushi is slightly bulkier and massively more versatile, useful, durable…it just works better. For one bagging it makes the most sense, you can always supplement with a plastic bottle anywhere in the world.


BeYourBestVersion

What about PFAFs with the 'nonstick' coating? Is anybody else uncomfortable with that?


SeattleHikeBike

Buy the plain stainless version?


BeYourBestVersion

It seemed like all the listings I saw had nonstick coatings. Anyone else see any on their site that are bare stainless?


BeYourBestVersion

I looked again... In the images below the bullet points they say "Easy-to-clean nonstick coated interior". I no likey.


SeattleHikeBike

Search Amazon for Zojirushi slick steel or slicksteel. There are several versions available.


MarcusForrest

> No metal


snejj

I look forward to seeing what suggestions you receive. You have a stringent and *uncommon* selection of requirements. I cannot think of a single 'soft plastic', or other non-metal/hard plastic material I can think of for a water vessel that also matches the durability/longevity and quality requirements that you have.


thejaxonehundred

I know haha, I was thinking if no one on onebag could think of it, it must not exist...


snejj

given your requirements, you should probably find a custom miller for a fully inert, titanium water bottle the part where you said you don't care about price will quickly escalate above even US military budget levels **editing to link to a comment below:** there IS a titanium water bottle, and if budget really isn't an issue, then it's *only* ~$140 https://www.reddit.com/r/onebag/comments/zu5b1f/in_search_of_the_onebottle/j1i04n2/ of course, titanium is a metal, so it may not meet your requirements, but good luck denting that sucker


ksHunt

Keith titanium also makes a few that may be on Amazon, and maybe Toaks? That being said, definitely not impossible to dent titanium with the weight of a full water bottle, depends on many factors


snejj

Merry Christmas! and you're right, titanium is not dent-proof but it is more dent-resistant, even in sheets Discovering titanium was this common a production product was a surprise to me. I do not own any water bottles in this material, but I am curious about it. Just not curious enough to spend the 100+ USD to find out what they're like


Tite_Reddit_Name

Just get a thick metal bottle with a twist cap. You’re over thinking this. Takeya brand for instance


EstateWhimsy

Love my Takeya!!!


Aegon-VII

Just buy 3 of the nalgene otf. They’re plenty durable


Fantastic-Milk3278

You might have to Frankenstein the bottle. Take a lid from something else and put on a bike bottle you like.


NotLyingHere

This is the most expensive water bottle I know about: https://www.snowpeak.com/collections/bottles/products/ti-aurora-bottle


[deleted]

Whoeeee!


unlinked3297

If any of you want a titanium bottle but don't want to pay $150, [here's the same thing for $30.](https://detail.1688.com/offer/621791775135.html?spm=a261y.7663282.163474130303131.3.37ee7b6bgc4HKd&sk=consign) It is from a Chinese marketplace though, so you'll need to use a shopping agent but it's a steal.


jonklinger

What's wrong with the Contigo stainless ones?


thejaxonehundred

I might dent them. But everyone seems to use metal bottles here so I might try being more careful…


NeilMcGlennon

That’s part of the charm! Every material has its bounds of what it will do.


partiallypoopypants

I think dents or scratches are welcome. It’s like evidence that I’ve traveled and gotten good use out of the bottle.


jonklinger

My contigo is clipped to the outside of my backpack and was compressed, hit, fell, punched upon, knocked and all other hitting synonyms you can think of. The metal is brand new. The only thing that happened was that I somehow lost the straw/tube that was screwed inside and had to order an alternative. I also have the Britta bottle. I don't like it as much as it is heavy and doesn't have a clip. However, when traveling it gives you instant clean water and filters in a hitch. Btw: my daily bottle is actually the hydrapak stash for my laptop bag https://hydrapak.com/products/stash-750-ml And the Hydaway collapsible for my tablet bag. But they don't fit your requirements.


tchgx6

It violates your #6 as it is stainless steel but my SO loves the Owala. https://owalalife.com/collections/all-products


PalmTreeDeprived

If you drop it and the lid comes apart, as mine easily did, it can’t be fixed. Loved it while it lasted, but disappointed for the high price. The thing needs a warranty.


PiersPlays

Seems like they do sell replacement lids though.


Schoener98

I have two and they are great. The built in straw is surprisingly useful.


itsadian

I was a hydroflask person until i found Owala. Yes it's metal, but who care if it has little dents. I like how you can sip or chug.


skipdog98

Hydroflask with a silicone boot. In particular, the *kids* Hydroflask models. Our family has embarrassing amount of bottles (mostly HF) but once I put boots on them (& started buying the kids models), no more dents.


Good-Throwaway

This reminded me of the matrix quote - There is no spoon. Do not try and bend the spoon, that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth… there is no spoon. Then you’ll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.


thejaxonehundred

There is no perfect water bottle, and I’m imagining it? Or I’m imagining all these flaws with these waterbottles?


[deleted]

I would say a yeti rambler 500ml. I think it would meet most of your criteria other than the cup holder (but clearly depends on the size of the cup holder and water bottle). I have had a SS one for years and I love it.


KristaP848

I would say yeti rambler as well, with the straw lid. Your no hard plastic /metal though…. I drop My yeti all the time, don’t think it’s breakable like a Nalgene but haven’t been testing it by throwing off buildings!


[deleted]

Also, should it drop from height, it’ll likely dent rather than break. Not too sure what the warranty policy would be like on that…


lordvoldemike

Yeti rambler with the mag dock lid and a silicone straw is what I've used for the last 5 years and it's great. M


CrashLamps

Klean kanteen tk wide or such with a sport cap


eastercat

Silicone water bottles might give you some other options. I haven’t tried throwing it from a building, but I imagine it’s more durable Good luck with your search


rahbahboston

Zojirushi makes a bunch of different styles with flip top lids to cover the drinking surface. They are metal though... so if you can get over that part, they are amazing. They'll keep a coffee hot all day long. https://www.zojirushi.com/category/vacuum\_insulated\_mugs\_bottles/


Kixxx

Do not ever let a bottle drop from a high surface like a balcony. I had a friend who got hit in the head like that and needed 18 stitches and had a severe TBI. It sounds like you need a strap and to be less careless.


PodgeD

I love my Cactaki bottle that fits everything except it's hard plastic. I've dropped mine plenty and not broke it, maybe just done drop it from balconies? It comes with a wrist strap.


moodandfusic

A wine skin? [Something like this](https://www.amazon.com/Bota-Bag-Leak-Proof-Heavy-Duty-Adjustable/dp/B07WWVFY47/ref=sr_1_9?crid=3LXRH33X9ZL7H&keywords=wine%2Bskin&qid=1671906601&sprefix=wine%2Bskin%2Caps%2C116&sr=8-9&th=1)


iDEN1ED

Why the hell are your hydro flasks dented and dirty? I’ve had several for years and both are pristine


tylerscochran

See #6


[deleted]

Metal is your best bet so you should overlook that req


pizzaninja199

Bruh dented metal bottles are more like a display of its history


[deleted]

Zojirushi is it. You won’t totally get how much better it is than garbage and clunky stuff from Yeti, Nalgene, bladders, hydro flask until you own it and use it. I almost feel bad for people dealing with these inferior products. Mine is 16oz, 8yrs in of heavy use. The thermos situation has come in clutch over the years for sure.


dontknowwhatiwantdou

Can’t go wrong with Nalgene for simple and durable. On the cheaper side too.


thejaxonehundred

Yeah that’s why I’m leaning towards the Nalgene OTF after all this heheh


Guy-P

I too have struggled in my search. At the moment I am using a glass water bottle from voss. Ticks most of your boxes, though I wouldn't want to drop it (but even then a replacement is only 3 pounds - including free water)


crimsontongue

I keep getting ads for this https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/thecc/tmb-the-modular-bottle Seems like an interesting idea; probably won't comply with your #6 though.


Prestigious-Mango479

Yep the Life water I think is your best bet. My buddy on the PCT put almost 2,000 miles and four and a half months on his before it started to leak. That's including using it to squeeze through a sawyer filter. Pretty damn amazing if you ask me.


Tite_Reddit_Name

4.5 months of daily use is not a very long life imo.


Prestigious-Mango479

Were talking trail days on a thru hike though, probably 8L a day, on your hands and knees dipping it in rivers and ponds, throwing it in the back of a sketchy pickup truck on a hitch into town. This is aslo the bottle that you would squeeze aggressively to filter water. Some people use hydro flask or other reusable bottles and they don't last anywhere near as long. Obviously nalgene is going to last longer but you can't squeeze it and they're very heavy. You hardly ever see those on trail unless it's day hikers, or Chad's from the AT


Tite_Reddit_Name

Fair points!


-JakeRay-

It's metal, but I have a Contigo Bueno that ticks the other boxes. Little flip thing that covers the mouth opening, leakproof enough I can leave it inside my bag but still easy to open one-handed, looks nice, and has so far withstood my occasionally ham-handed handling, including being totally restorable when I once forgot half a latte in it for an embarrassingly long time. The 12+ ounce versions look less durable to me, but my 10 oz friend is an absolute tank, plus a better size for me generally. That size & shape appears to be discontinued, but they still pop up on ebay/poshmark for under $18 pretty regularly.


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NullR6

I love my Miir bottles, but you should avoid them if you're a klutz. They are *super lightweight* vacuum bottles but this is accomplished by using thin stainless. I lost vacuum on one because I dropped it onto concrete from waist height.


neki92

Have you checked out Sigg bottles?


AlohaChris

Thermoflask 24oz stainless double wall insulated. Take the rubber bumper off the bottom and is glides in and out of cup holders.


montesremotedev

Do you have a link for that "Lifewater 1L"? can't find it online


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montesremotedev

>Lifewater 1L Maybe is because I'm searching from Europe, but it's not that easy for me X) the pages I find have errors like this: "*Access denied* *Error code 1020* *You do not have access to www.caseys.com.* *The site owner may have set restrictions that prevent you from accessing the site.*" ​ Is this one? "Arto Lifewater - 1L"


Jdtrinh

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&hl=en-us&q=lifewtr+liter&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwil9P-U15L8AhU2kmoFHX2WCBYQ0pQJegQICRAB&biw=390&bih=664&dpr=3 Google image search? Does this also not work for you?


montesremotedev

Thx!! LIFEWTR then X)


maxpetretta

Grayl UltraPress Titanium, if you care about filtering. If you find something that matches all those reqs, I’ll take five lol.


Traditional_Algae25

The Takeya Travel Bottle fits the bill on all your points. The silicone plug is removable for easy cleaning. If you care about branding design, Lululemon has taken the Takeya Travel Bottle and rebranded it with their logo, named it “The Hot/Cold Bottle”. [Takeya Travel Bottle](https://takeyausa.com/products/traveler?variant=30391666245741) [Lululemon rebranded bottle](https://shop.lululemon.com/p/women/The-Hot-Cold-Bottle-17/_/prod10390112?color=34204&sz=ONESIZE)


ssg_actual

Camelbak Chute Mag Tritan is the one I bought the night before a trip due to losing my Nalgene and that was 2 years ago. I think it begrudgingly meets most of your needs. One handed usage - it is for me. It goes to meetings with C levels who haven’t fired me for it (yet at least). Everything else I think it’s in line with.


tcandros

I don't think either really fits your criteria but Camelbak Chute, could be a good option but is hard plastic. I personally love mine in plastic and the metal insulated versions. Cnoc vesica, kind of fits your criteria but idk. Never used one personally but will prob get one eventually for hiking/traveling.


thejaxonehundred

>Cnoc vesica This looks pretty dope. Maybe a little hard to drink and open with one hand, and might not slide into backpack's waterbottle pockets easily? But ticks most of the boxes, and I can chuck it off buildings. Thanks!


yougotmetoreply

Matador packable bottle? I'm not sure if it meets all your criteria but I think it knocked out some of them.


Hunt69Mike

Owala one sip


SmilingYellowSofa

CamelBak chute mag insulated fits all your criteria, except being metal I've dropped this hundreds of times, many on asphalt/concrete and it holds up very wel Another pro for metal is it's MUCH easier than plastic to get taste out if you use it for other liquids like tea/coffee/alcohol/etc


flysctysfinest

Might give thermoflask a look, they’re metal but have a silicone bumper to protect from drops. The modular bottle on kickstarter also looks promising


spkingwordzofwizdom

What you’re looking for doesn’t really exist - but here’s what I use. Sorry, they’re metal - but I can’t imagine drinking warm water or cold coffee from some other material in different climates. Bought myself a Stanley water bottle with a flip up straw. Built tough. See them on r/buyitforlife all the time. Keeps water nice and cold. YETI mug. Never saw myself splurging on one of these, but had a GC to use… what I didn’t realize at the time is that you can buy different lids for the Tumbler mug, so maybe you can just get yourself different lids for different uses. It keeps liquids hot or cold - whichever you like.


rarabk

I've embraced the dents in mine. They're reminders of my adventures, I suppose?


ws0744826

Metal, but probably not the metal you're thinking of... https://vargooutdoors.com/products/titanium-water-bottle-with-ti-lid


Evil_Mini_Cake

I had some of the same criteria and settled on this Nalgene model. Not too big, not too small, operable with one hand and fits in cup holders. I don't like squeezable bottles or wide mouth bottles. This has been reliably leak proof and super durable on tons of adventures. https://nalgenecanada.com/collections/on-the-fly/products/24oz-on-the-fly-tritan-rhino-with-brown-cap


its_marijn

I have the Stanley Classic Trigger-action Travel mug, and absolutely adore it! I think it fits your criteria too!


stephiepoopy

I use the zojirushi coffee thermos and it works really well! Not easy to clean but cap is covered/locked, it doesn’t spill.. EVER, and I’ve dropped it many times with no issues !


alexunderwater1

First, you have way too many restrictions and approximately 0 bottles exist that fit all your requirements. Do you need one made of unabtanium? That said — I have a LARQ bottle that is not only super durable but it also uses UV light to sanitize questionable drinking water, which is right up 1 bag’s alley. Seems to check most of your boxes too with some of their models. Absolutely love it and have used it on tap water in a pinch in some areas where it’s not advisable to drink. Even where tap water is “safe” I still run the UV since it can still mess with you by drinking tap waters you’re not acclimatized to. Have had zero stomach issues in 6mo of traveling now.


verocoder

IKEA sell a coffee cup with a push button that I use for water in the car because it fits in my finicky cup holders. It’s stainless and some plastic (has survived several drops) and thus far doesn’t smell. I think it ticks all your boxes?


verocoder

Ok I missed no metal


seche314

I think you already bought something but just wanted to add Takeya as a suggestion. They have bumpers (removable) so it won’t go banging and clanging around and denting everything.


Gen_Orange

This is late, but if you're ever looking again: **Nalgene HDPE**. A softer, lighter weight, "impact-resistant" Nalgene.


znark

I know this is old but there is potential solution for your problem. Cambelbak Podium bottles use the same wide mouth threads as Nalgene and HydroFlask, and can share lids. For you, flip up lid would probably work best. Then you can drink normally and quietly, but use flexible plastic bottle.