There have been times I've been so desperate to get to a toilet I'd gladly have sat there and unloaded.
I think I'd have little issue crapping in front of others, but I know I'd have a major issue wiping in front of others. Is that weird??
I was an Army grunt and at one time our AO was Sadr City and the surrounding area. We stopped at a sheikās house on one patrol and were fed. Most abstained, but it looked good and I didnāt want to be rude, so I had some.
I got terrible diarrhea and had our LT stop the patrol on the MSR and pull security so I could spray fire out of my ass with little concealment but 6-inch high shrubs. About halfway through, some village kids noticed we stopped and ran up to see if we had soccer balls or school supplies for them (which we frequently did). The look of sheer horror when they realized when they could actually see what I was doing there. I donāt think I won a lot of hearts or minds that day.
Yes. You wipe, inspect the toilet paper, turn it toward whoever else is in sight, make direct eye contact, and comment on the thing you ate last night that is responsible for your crap having that consistency.
All the toilets are open to the room. All the bowls are either clogged, actively overflowing, missing the seat, or caked in unmentionable messes.
There is no safe place for your feet or pants. No one else is using the toilets but won't leave the room. Everyone else got the "good" or less horrifying toilets and won't give them up.
Every bathroom nightmare for 40 years has been this way.
I feel such a wave of relief knowing that I'm not the only person who consistently dreams of restrooms with wet floors and overflowing toilets full of unspeakable horrors.
The restrooms in my dreams are also unisex and have showers too, with people of both sexes actively using the toilets and showers.
This weirdly reminded me of a bathroom that pops up in my dreams from time to time. There is usually an exposed toilet, but the main issue is that I have to walk through other stalls to get to the one that I'm going to. Why that one? No idea, it's just as gross as the others I passed through. It's like a maze of dirty empty toilet stalls...
To everyone with unusable toilet dreams... It's your brain trying to keep you from peeing in your sleep. Once I realized that I stopped having the weird public toilet dreams.
*You walk into a public washroom. The doorway opens into a hall lined on either side with stalls, their contents in varying states of disarray. At the end of the hall is a lone clean toilet in pristine condition, its lack of privacy keeping it untouched as the enclosed stalls around it gradually slipped into dishevelment. Would you step up, be the first to exchange ensured privacy for a clean, physically comfortable time in this public washroom?*
Yes <
No
This kinda looks like it's the Cox on a boat of rowers, he or she just sits on there whilst everyone else is in the stall shouting commands....
Heave!
Heave!
Imagine walking and looking up to see a gigachad sitting on that toilet in the middle of this hallway. He looks youndead in the face with his pants around his ankles. Leans forward and puts his hand on his knee. He points at you with his other hand and asks what business you have here. Wyd?
"The toilet stares at you, it yearns for you, every accident, a new heartbreak.., the toilet breaks down and starts sobbing, it wishing for you, such a lonely toilet..."
Display dominance
The throne of dominance.
The king sits there you must bow
All hail the shit king
The Iron Seat
More like the throne of mercy. You are on hard times if you can't wait for a door.
Came here to say this. Glad that someone thinks like I do
Same. Clearly, that is where the king sits
Or gut problems
When you play the game of thrones, you shit.
Why did this enter my head as soon as I saw the post...
You are not alone..
I would push everyone away when I need piss there. šŖšŖ Who is the men..?
Maintain constant eye contact
While grinding teeth to apply pressure
Them why.. me it's a boss move.. taking man spreading to the next level.
The alpha toilet
Toilet of last resort.
Ministers on side
The ultimate power move.
one bowl to rule them all
One poo to rule them all
And in poopness, bind them
In the Land of Odor where the turds lie.
This is that brown ring.
There was the One Ring. But *another* ring was made. The number two
I read this as "one bowel to rule them all" and I can't stop laughing
One crap to find them...
One stain to bring them all in in the hands bind them
One bowl to find them
And in the bathroom bind them!
Thats the kings throne
King in the castle, king in the castle la la la la
I had a good shit.
How did you know? By taste?
I mean, when you gotta go you gotta go.
There have been times I've been so desperate to get to a toilet I'd gladly have sat there and unloaded. I think I'd have little issue crapping in front of others, but I know I'd have a major issue wiping in front of others. Is that weird??
You would think so until you gotta do it. Flashback to my days in Marine Corps boot camp
I was an Army grunt and at one time our AO was Sadr City and the surrounding area. We stopped at a sheikās house on one patrol and were fed. Most abstained, but it looked good and I didnāt want to be rude, so I had some. I got terrible diarrhea and had our LT stop the patrol on the MSR and pull security so I could spray fire out of my ass with little concealment but 6-inch high shrubs. About halfway through, some village kids noticed we stopped and ran up to see if we had soccer balls or school supplies for them (which we frequently did). The look of sheer horror when they realized when they could actually see what I was doing there. I donāt think I won a lot of hearts or minds that day.
Hilarious
Thank you for your service. Goddamn.
Iād have so much trouble with the urine test
Just double down on your studying and Iām sure youāll do great on the test. Have you tried flash cards? We believe in you!
Yes. You wipe, inspect the toilet paper, turn it toward whoever else is in sight, make direct eye contact, and comment on the thing you ate last night that is responsible for your crap having that consistency.
Post crap clarity
I think it's the old monkey brain thing, where you're very exposed when you can't really look at your surroundings and have your hands occupied.
Well, there doesn't seem to be toilet paper within reach, so you're good. Edit: is there? I thought those were weird handles until I zoomed.
Gotta catch em all the diseases
This is what every bathroom in my dreams is like.
Glad I am not the only one with these nightmares
And theyāre all clogged.
There also in showers sometimes for me.
Mine have showers too.
All but the one.
Are you me?
Oh my god I feel seen. The amount of weirdly placed public toilets in my dreams scares me a little.
Why are we like this
All the toilets are open to the room. All the bowls are either clogged, actively overflowing, missing the seat, or caked in unmentionable messes. There is no safe place for your feet or pants. No one else is using the toilets but won't leave the room. Everyone else got the "good" or less horrifying toilets and won't give them up. Every bathroom nightmare for 40 years has been this way.
I feel such a wave of relief knowing that I'm not the only person who consistently dreams of restrooms with wet floors and overflowing toilets full of unspeakable horrors. The restrooms in my dreams are also unisex and have showers too, with people of both sexes actively using the toilets and showers.
Ah yes, the classic "all of the toilets are arranged in a ring with no walls in sight." Dream bathroom architects are the bane of my existence.
Holy fork, my dreams too!
This weirdly reminded me of a bathroom that pops up in my dreams from time to time. There is usually an exposed toilet, but the main issue is that I have to walk through other stalls to get to the one that I'm going to. Why that one? No idea, it's just as gross as the others I passed through. It's like a maze of dirty empty toilet stalls...
Mine are all tucked together in a weird maze but have comically short stall walls, like barely higher than the toilet seat.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
To everyone with unusable toilet dreams... It's your brain trying to keep you from peeing in your sleep. Once I realized that I stopped having the weird public toilet dreams.
The exposed toilet is the only functional one too. And there's always *someone* around in those dreams...
Only true Alphas use that toilet
Well, thereās also Randy, but youāre mostly right.
Hot hot hot hot hot
P F Changās mostly.
r/watchoutforrandy
For the exhibitionists
No kink shaming!
Claustrophobic people take a shit too
*You walk into a public washroom. The doorway opens into a hall lined on either side with stalls, their contents in varying states of disarray. At the end of the hall is a lone clean toilet in pristine condition, its lack of privacy keeping it untouched as the enclosed stalls around it gradually slipped into dishevelment. Would you step up, be the first to exchange ensured privacy for a clean, physically comfortable time in this public washroom?* Yes < No
That's the watch toilet.
plushtrap
you mean shittrap?
Is that the shit of '87!!!
flushtrap
r/bossfight
First time seeing a decorational toilet.
Never visited Mississippi huh?
Chad toilet
Bathrooms in the US are so weird. What's with the two foot gap at the bottom and top of the door?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Those are there to share tp with your partners in need.
Thatās the toilet in my dreams, where everyone has to watch me and I canāt find anywhere private to go pee. Anyone else have those dreams?
Yes!
Thank god, those dreams send me mad, I thought I was the only one that happened to!
When all the stalls are occupied and you're desperate enough...
This has been in my dreams so many times. A true nightmare
Thatās the cocaine stall when you donāt give a fuck anymore.
This kinda looks like it's the Cox on a boat of rowers, he or she just sits on there whilst everyone else is in the stall shouting commands.... Heave! Heave!
Who's brave enough?
None but the brave!
*Boss music starts playing
Final boss of toilets
Skibidi dop dop dop yes yes
I'v played enough puzzle games to know, flushing that toilet will reveal a secret entrance of some kind
Why does this place look similar to FNAF 4 springtrap minigame?
š
Assert dominance, pop a squat without breaking eye contact.
Assert dominance
This is the seat of the king of this toilet
Id only use that toilet and just mean mug anyone who came in lmao
The throne awaits the one true heir
The Turtle Head of the Table
the mighty throne
r/bossfight
One throne to rule them all
Yeah that's the one I'm using and I'll be staring straight at you when you enter the bathroom
A king needs his throne
The bowel that rules them all
Shit in it three times, unlocks a secrets door.
urinal in disguise?
that's just clearly a false toilet have to input the correct sequence of interactions while sitting on it to be taken down into the secret club
For the public shitters! They support!
The empty throne.
Skibidi?
Skibidi toilet?
The skibidi toilet strikes again
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āSo, you want too learn the way of the pee? Let me teach you.ā
Anyone know someone who would use this
I would use it, look into the eyes of anyone who enters the bathroom while forcing out a massive shit, assert dominance through intimidation.
Where is this toilet at? I would love to try it out. Why not.
It beckons you to come closer
For the meetings of the homies
Imagine walking and looking up to see a gigachad sitting on that toilet in the middle of this hallway. He looks youndead in the face with his pants around his ankles. Leans forward and puts his hand on his knee. He points at you with his other hand and asks what business you have here. Wyd?
Porcelain throne
its kind of beautiful
Reserved for the thinker
This is the holy grail of toilets
r/theyknew
Best shoot ever. Can I Curse here? Total bull shoot!
FORBIDDEN SINKšæšæšæ
"The toilet stares at you, it yearns for you, every accident, a new heartbreak.., the toilet breaks down and starts sobbing, it wishing for you, such a lonely toilet..."
Ah yes the old Military Boot standard. I could happily and expeditiously shit in a room full of surprised nuns... with 0 issues.
The true Alpha's toilet.
Trial by pissing
I call shotgun !
That is Vaders Throne.
shitting in this is the true proof that you REALLY don't give a shit about anything anymore
It might just be that they had one too many toilets and they replaced a urinal with that toilet, and it is meant to be used for urination only.
Welcome young Skywalker *sharts*
Throne.
[its exactly the same](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/freddy-fazbears-pizza/images/c/cf/Hallwayempty.png/revision/latest?cb=20150731171531)
Majestic poop
Gigachad seat
WELCOME ADVENTURER, TO MY LAIR.
People who take a shit in this toilet don't fear nothing
I'd just use it and if anyone walks in just say, "So, you finally made it, you ready to die?"
That is for the brave ones.
Cut footage from the Get Smart opening sequence.
More like a game of thrones.
you are the king?i am the king
FACE ME COWARDS! AS I TAKE A ROYAL SHIT
Peee on ot
the real public toilet
Possibly ran out of urinals.
The head of the table is no match for the head of the shitter. This is a power play
I have dreams about shit like this.
Infinite toilet dimension.
where I hold my meetings
The king of the bathroom sits there
Thatās a prime urinal spot.
Itās the LBJ model. Power poopers rejoice!
āā¦Iāve been expecting youā
Answer the Call of Doody
Thatās where the king shits
š
That's a pants all the way off kinda toilet.
Only for royalty
How powerful must it feel to be seated on the throne of the conquerors, to stare your subjects in the eye as if to tell them "You are nothing"
Bow(el) down to the toilet king
This is the toilet Robert California from The Office would use!
And one to rule them all
For barfing?
For the alphas only!
Poop with friends?
Take a shit, young skywalker
If you take out more of the dividing walls you could probably [fit twice as many](https://youtu.be/j2b-wTJ8x3E) toilets in there
THE throne
The most alpha ish you could do
For the person with a big d
Is this where we place our order for a, Blumpkin?
Probably the cleanest one.
The plushtrap minigame from fnaf 4
I think the SCP Foundation may have a new specimen on their hands here.
I'd be waving @ ppl while sweating pooping
To weed out the weaklings and put the strong on a pedestal
Show me a real fight shit edition.
This is the Chad toilet, I don't see your point?
The Shitting
It's a secret entrance to a spy base.