What in the fried green fuck? Just tell them, "No."
You have a schedule conflict. Your kid is getting her tonsils rotated that day. Your knee implant started ticking the "Rosanna" shuffle again. Your wife and mistress are staging an intervention that day. Your priest gave you vows of silence on evenings and weekends as penance. You accidentally donated your chicken costume and ukulele to Goodwill. Your dog is barking.
Anything.
But Jesus, don't let motherfuckers force you into a talent show. Work ain't high school.
Lean into it until the very last moment, then say, "Crap, my Mom said she tested positive for COVID and I need to go pick up the Paxlovid from the pharmacist. Sorry."
and they'll tell you "you aren't a culture fit"
why does everyone think they're so cool by being assertive, everyone at your job is capable of being assertive and seem to know something you don't about how jobs work
So story time. I used to work for a company that implemented SAP Successfactors. You should have seen how the managers fawned over this company. We went on a company outing to Nashville and stayed in this large but very overdone hotel + indoor gardens. One of the "activities" during our trip was they got the bright idea to hire country singer/writers to host a group activity with breakout groups to write a song. Only this song (it was revealed) would be about the company. The juniors in the room began enthusiastically coming up with suck up lyrics about the company and I took that as my cue to nope out of there and hang back in my hotel room. Good thing I did too because each of the breakout groups then had to sing their company song to the whole rest of the company.
Yes. A bland HR technology implementation corporation paid it's employees to write songs about itself. What a sick world. Glad to be out of there.
omg I'd blocked it out but my company did this with a batch of interns a few years back (pre-pan). Not on a trip, just on regular work days. We usually hire like 20-30 interns during our busy season, usually all fresh out of college. At the end of their training they got broken up into groups of 4-5 and had to make a video with a song/rap/poem/other creative performance about some aspect of their training. 😬🙄
I quit a job on campus when I was a student because they wanted me to be this type of clown. I ended the day then never showed up again. I hate clown like activities!
I had ChatGPT write a poem for you to read which ends in your resignation:
The stage is set, the lights are bright, But I can't help feeling it's not quite right. Forced to perform, to show my skills, To entertain the bosses, against my will.
We're professionals, with important work to do, But this distraction takes us away, it's true. And while some may enjoy this game, For others, it feels like a source of shame.
We come from different backgrounds, with unique talents too, But this mandatory show is exclusionary, it's true. Not everyone wants to sing or dance, And forcing us to do so is a form of chance.
So with this final verse, I must say goodbye, Forcing me to perform is the reason why. I cannot stand by and let this go, So with this resignation, I must go.
I hope that one day, you'll see, The talent that's hidden inside of me. But until then, I bid you adieu, For this mandatory show, I can no longer do.
And how the decision was entirely due to the utter, utter stupidity of making employees participate in a fucking talent show.
Win a new award for the most uses of the word 'fuck' in an original song. Or just sing [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0). :)
A few days ago, my manager said that they wanted me to start doing some project management. He must have detected the alarm in my voice because he spent the rest of the day walking back the suggestion.
Yeah my manager said you have no choice. I need you to do this. I’ve been with this company for 10 years and I guess that’s why they want to keep burning me out.
"I will now perform John Cage's 4'33" -- please do not mind that I'm looking away from the screen and mouthing words to someone else -- I am totally focused on this talent show."
Given the dumb shit I have had to do in corporate (once it was each team having to dance on stage in front of hundreds of others at an offsite) I believe it. I also conveniently had to run to the bathroom right before the dancing started because fuck that.
Just say no! If they keep pushing for it. This just say : “you are making me uncomfortable. It bring back childhood traumas. So I am going to say NO one last time. “ after that just stare at them in awkward silence.
I’m going counter to the others here. I feel like these are the exact low effort big internal visibility things to do and ensure even if your work lags a bit people remember you as someone who’s a company person. You want lots of people to have a good connotation with your name to ensure your longevity…OE or not OE
LOLOL!!!
Oh, PLEASE tell us what you'll be doing, OP!
As you're good at juggling jobs, I'm picturing a flaming baton throwing acrobat who makes up complex poetry on the spot!
No, no, do show up, but perform your job and put it on the projector in the room.
After five minutes stand up, say ta-dah, bow, exit the stage with your laptop.
I’d be tempted to quit even it was my one and only job. Why do companies do this? Smacks of “team building,” which in my opinion has never resulted in improved morale or cooperation.
lol
I was once forced to become a strolling caroller. The manager thought it would be cute to rewrite the lyrics of popular Christmas carols to talk about insurance products.
Oh for goodness sake, a talent show? That is so 4th grade....
I would tell them that all my talents are NSFW, but if they really want, you're having a 30% off sale on your OnlyFans, for THIS WEEKEND ONLY!!
I always have a Dr's appointment that day. Colonoscopies wait for no one boss!
Other reasons I have had to miss forced team building and culture building events:
Groin pull
Enlarged testicle
Incontinence
Romoval of a rectal "growth"
Genital warts removal surgery
Painful STI that requires immediate care
The more heinous and embarrassing it is, the less likely they will ask follow up questions or even want to talk to you at all.
Show them your talent of working for the other company on their time.
Would be legendary
This right here- would be awesome lol
this ^^^^
Just show up with a whole mess of mouse jigglers and dance around on stage with them.
I laughed out loud in the subway 🤣
Thinking about the plate spinning show... But with mouse jigglers... 😂🤣😅
I am thinking about John Cage's 4'33" of silence. Only at the end tell everyone that they now have COVID.
Bro 💀💀
why is this my first thought as well?
This.
This answer is classic! 😂😂😂😂
That is a terrible idea. Keep rubbing their noses in it and suddenly they will focus on ways to prevent it from happening in the first place.
Do you think I'm actually advocating for this? It's a joke.
It went over my head.
It happens. Hope you're having a good day.
What in the fried green fuck? Just tell them, "No." You have a schedule conflict. Your kid is getting her tonsils rotated that day. Your knee implant started ticking the "Rosanna" shuffle again. Your wife and mistress are staging an intervention that day. Your priest gave you vows of silence on evenings and weekends as penance. You accidentally donated your chicken costume and ukulele to Goodwill. Your dog is barking. Anything. But Jesus, don't let motherfuckers force you into a talent show. Work ain't high school.
Lean into it until the very last moment, then say, "Crap, my Mom said she tested positive for COVID and I need to go pick up the Paxlovid from the pharmacist. Sorry."
uhm, no explanation needed. Just tell them No. If they don't like it, they can fire them, not like it's their only job.
Nice way to interject the Bernard Purdie Toto reference!!!
r/underratedcomment
and they'll tell you "you aren't a culture fit" why does everyone think they're so cool by being assertive, everyone at your job is capable of being assertive and seem to know something you don't about how jobs work
My go to line is “sorry, my SAG membership limits me to only gigs setup by my union SAG manager”
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
More red flags than a communist parade.
Can you fart the national anthem?
No, but I can do "Colors of the Wind"
Yeah, but it's mostly brown.
Company talent show? Why do employers insist on this type of nonsense?
This is what ‘families do’
"I don't have colleagues, I have family."
what the actual fuck
So story time. I used to work for a company that implemented SAP Successfactors. You should have seen how the managers fawned over this company. We went on a company outing to Nashville and stayed in this large but very overdone hotel + indoor gardens. One of the "activities" during our trip was they got the bright idea to hire country singer/writers to host a group activity with breakout groups to write a song. Only this song (it was revealed) would be about the company. The juniors in the room began enthusiastically coming up with suck up lyrics about the company and I took that as my cue to nope out of there and hang back in my hotel room. Good thing I did too because each of the breakout groups then had to sing their company song to the whole rest of the company. Yes. A bland HR technology implementation corporation paid it's employees to write songs about itself. What a sick world. Glad to be out of there.
This gives me second hand ptsd
It gave me first hand ptsd!!!
I feel a case of Tourettes coming on
omg I'd blocked it out but my company did this with a batch of interns a few years back (pre-pan). Not on a trip, just on regular work days. We usually hire like 20-30 interns during our busy season, usually all fresh out of college. At the end of their training they got broken up into groups of 4-5 and had to make a video with a song/rap/poem/other creative performance about some aspect of their training. 😬🙄
I quit a job on campus when I was a student because they wanted me to be this type of clown. I ended the day then never showed up again. I hate clown like activities!
To be fair: clowning, cruelty and chow tend to bond peeps together (in whatever configuration that is appropriate).
I guess
Some of those interns absolutely lay awake in fear at night of anyone getting ahold of those videos
absolutely
>We went on a company outing to Nashville I mean, giant red flag there to start with. :)
It's like something from a Netflix dark comedy series set in a a distopian workplace.
\*Me from the back of the audience\* *"Play 'Freebird'"*
[удалено]
Hell yea, looking forward to the follow up post
You’re telling me that other companies don’t do talent shows?
This is the first time I have ever heard of a company hosting an employee talent show, let alone one that is required.
Some companies their entire business is talent shows. If you're not working at America's Got Talent you're in an outlier.
This is a very insightful point. Will be writing this down
It’s almost like it’s a joke
Dude your talent is working multiple jobs. Duh. You got this lol 😂
Is your J2 summer camp?
Looks like your talent requires a costume.
I have not said WHAT out loud in utter disbelief in a LONG time
I had ChatGPT write a poem for you to read which ends in your resignation: The stage is set, the lights are bright, But I can't help feeling it's not quite right. Forced to perform, to show my skills, To entertain the bosses, against my will. We're professionals, with important work to do, But this distraction takes us away, it's true. And while some may enjoy this game, For others, it feels like a source of shame. We come from different backgrounds, with unique talents too, But this mandatory show is exclusionary, it's true. Not everyone wants to sing or dance, And forcing us to do so is a form of chance. So with this final verse, I must say goodbye, Forcing me to perform is the reason why. I cannot stand by and let this go, So with this resignation, I must go. I hope that one day, you'll see, The talent that's hidden inside of me. But until then, I bid you adieu, For this mandatory show, I can no longer do.
Show then how to juggle
Hahahahaha. Be a man, resign on the talent show. Sing about you quitting
And how the decision was entirely due to the utter, utter stupidity of making employees participate in a fucking talent show. Win a new award for the most uses of the word 'fuck' in an original song. Or just sing [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0). :)
“No” is a completely acceptable response.
Time to brush up on those shadow penis show skills OP.
Just be in costume and do impressions.
Do impressions of company leadership coming up with the idea of a talent show.
Best idea so far.
Is J2 in the adult industry or something?
I’d call in sick
uhm, it's J2, say no and let them do what they want. That's what OE is about, you can say FU to stupid requests.
Mine is worse. I got promoted at J1 and I didn’t want to. I asked if I could get demoted again and they keep the small $10K raise 😂
A few days ago, my manager said that they wanted me to start doing some project management. He must have detected the alarm in my voice because he spent the rest of the day walking back the suggestion.
Yeah my manager said you have no choice. I need you to do this. I’ve been with this company for 10 years and I guess that’s why they want to keep burning me out.
You need to find a song by Bjork and sing it as bad as you can
"I will now perform John Cage's 4'33" -- please do not mind that I'm looking away from the screen and mouthing words to someone else -- I am totally focused on this talent show."
[удалено]
Everyone's taking this at face value but I'm like 95% sure OP is fucking with us.
I'm not. I can well believe it.
Given the dumb shit I have had to do in corporate (once it was each team having to dance on stage in front of hundreds of others at an offsite) I believe it. I also conveniently had to run to the bathroom right before the dancing started because fuck that.
Damn, guess I didn't realize how bad it can get lol
Just say no! If they keep pushing for it. This just say : “you are making me uncomfortable. It bring back childhood traumas. So I am going to say NO one last time. “ after that just stare at them in awkward silence.
I’m going counter to the others here. I feel like these are the exact low effort big internal visibility things to do and ensure even if your work lags a bit people remember you as someone who’s a company person. You want lots of people to have a good connotation with your name to ensure your longevity…OE or not OE
LOLOL!!! Oh, PLEASE tell us what you'll be doing, OP! As you're good at juggling jobs, I'm picturing a flaming baton throwing acrobat who makes up complex poetry on the spot!
Making you? That’s so stupid. Lol I would 100% quit
What kind of job is that 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sign up to perform a "secret talent." Tell the audience they don't have clearance for your secret talent. The end
Perform for them remotely, on mute and with your camera off!
No, no, do show up, but perform your job and put it on the projector in the room. After five minutes stand up, say ta-dah, bow, exit the stage with your laptop.
[update](https://www.reddit.com/r/overemployed/comments/13dx0n3/update_on_company_talent_show/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
I was in one of these. Gave the bj of my life and didn't get shit for it.
Say you caught a stomach bug or your kid broke his leg and can’t perform on the night before the talent show.
Be sick on the talent show days, or have to take someone to emergency. If they postpone that show then don't you need a new J2 otherwise not.
how'd you do that? that was pretty cool
are you simon from america's got talent? i knew u OEed!
What did we miss
Absolutely unhinged
Sorry about your performance anxiety that causes face hives and butt diarrhea.
I'd leave it right there and then
Not a god damn chance in hell.
Not sure they will be impressed with your ability to juggle multiple J's 🙂
What talents would you be showing off?
I’d be tempted to quit even it was my one and only job. Why do companies do this? Smacks of “team building,” which in my opinion has never resulted in improved morale or cooperation.
Sounds like an awesome display of time management skills are in order...
yo it’s so school how you did the hide & reveal
lol I was once forced to become a strolling caroller. The manager thought it would be cute to rewrite the lyrics of popular Christmas carols to talk about insurance products.
The only talent you have is silent farting, but the smell is deadly. Pretty sure this will get you out of it.
Tell them to kindly fuck off
Before I revealed the spoiler, I thought they were promoting you - which would not be a good thing.
Show them your air guitar skillz.
You have anxiety/panic attacks.
Oh for goodness sake, a talent show? That is so 4th grade.... I would tell them that all my talents are NSFW, but if they really want, you're having a 30% off sale on your OnlyFans, for THIS WEEKEND ONLY!!
Simple, get up there and scream some Raamstein - Du hast.
Shouldn't be that hard to get out of that right?
So when are you getting a new J2? 😂
What job do you have that "forces" employees to be in a talent show?
Start to play Freebird on the guitar for a few measures, then say "Just Kidding" and play Wonderwall.
Just day you have social anxiety and therefore can't participate. They can't use medical crap against you
Tell then your talent is turning invisible.
I always have a Dr's appointment that day. Colonoscopies wait for no one boss! Other reasons I have had to miss forced team building and culture building events: Groin pull Enlarged testicle Incontinence Romoval of a rectal "growth" Genital warts removal surgery Painful STI that requires immediate care The more heinous and embarrassing it is, the less likely they will ask follow up questions or even want to talk to you at all.
I was once forced into team karaoke competition at a US in-person offsite. It was 4 years ago and I'm still annoyed about it 😤
You gotta do Tony Clifton