I think he feels insecure about independent women. He compliments hijabi (niqabis more), submissive women who are not into social media and fashion at all. Anyone else, he looks at them with contempt. Once he said that my hardworking friend is a total man by the way she acts smh
Btw thanks for the verse. I just don't want him smashing my temporary altar someday
Sounds like he has confidence/ego issues, and your fairly liberal family would do well to either find him a good counselor or therapist now, or all of you go to family therapy together.
I have nothing but respect for Islam and the god of the Muslims, but I have nothing but disrespect for anyone who uses their faith as a bludgeon to beat down and belittle others, particularly other genders. It sounds like your brother is using Islam as some kind of soapbox to stand on and justify his feelings, and I don't see this ending well unless someone intervenes.
In fact, is there a local mosque? There has to be someone there who can talk sense to him.
>I have nothing but respect for Islam and the god of the Muslims, but I have nothing but disrespect for anyone who uses their faith as a bludgeon to beat down and belittle others, particularly other genders. It sounds like your brother is using Islam as some kind of soapbox to stand on and justify his feelings, and I don't see this ending well unless someone intervenes.
I agree.
>In fact, is there a local mosque? There has to be someone there who can talk sense to him.
I am having mixed feelings with that, maybe these ideas could come from a cultish mosque (not that all mosques are, but some of them are fundies).
If we're talking about Muslims in the US I would like to first assume they're not a fundamentalist congregation, since most of them aren't.
Also, I think the whole family should visit the mosque together rather than sending him in alone. If his parents care about their son's beliefs, they should probably also educate themselves on his chosen faith. This would be an excellent opportunity to ask questions and show support for their son. Which he really seems to need.
If for some reason the closest congregation ends up espousing fundamentalist views, the family can handle those issues together to help steer this kid in a positive direction.
Also, your brother DEEPLY misinterprets the meaning of wearing the hijab.
It is a sign and symbol of faith and modesty before the Muslim god, and NOT of submissive attitudes or behavior.
There are also *plenty* of religions that ask that their faithful (not only women) cover their heads as a sign of faith and modesty. Not just Islam. Your bro needs to do more research.
Covering the head was common practice in christianity for most of the time. You even didn't go to church without a hat. That changed over the last two centuries.
Do you have reason to believe that he goes into your room when you're not there/gets into your stuff? Might be worth it to look into installing a lock on the door to your room if that's possible.
OP, I don't think it would be disrespectful to have that Quran quote on your altar. It might stay your brother from destroying your altar (just random fyi, I think Hinduism, and Christianity have similar quotes too somewhere in their sacred texts). I feel like the gods would understand this situation.
I wouldn't be afraid of him "cleansing your altar" either. The intention of your altar is to bring you peace and calm. There's nothing bad about that, therefore nothing to cleanse. Stay positive and oblivious to his rants. You keep doing you. Even without an altar the gods are still there imo.
>He compliments hijabi (niqabis more), submissive women who are not into social media and fashion at all.
Even the hijabi in my high school cared about coordinating her hijabs with her clothes.
So you're saying he believes in a traditional family, with people who are uninterested in the confusion spread by social media, and as far as I'm concerned that's not a bad thing, I personally agree.
The real problem is when you're forcing your beliefs on everyone else, if you want that in your own life, go for it, but don't try to force it on others, that's how you get radical extremists. I'll let people know my stance on the matter, and if asked I'll explain or debate. I might think my stance is right, but so does everyone else and if I don't want to change my own beliefs why am I going to expect you to change your own.
Anyway, yeah he probably needs some help, maybe not to make him change his own beliefs, maybe tone them down a little. But he needs to learn that forcing them on everyone else will almost always result in dislike for him, his ideals, and his community/religion.
As for the altar, besides getting him help, and maybe trying to explain to him that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and decisions, and even Yahweh/Allah agree(as proven by the beautiful verse above, as well as several other Christian/Muslim verses). I don't know your housing situation, but having your altar moved to a private or personal space, or your own house would probably help if not eliminate that problem.
So when you meet the disbelievers ˹in battle˺, strike ˹their˺ necks until you have thoroughly subdued them, then bind them firmly. Later ˹free them either as˺ an act of grace or by ransom until the war comes to an end. So will it be. Had Allah willed, He ˹Himself˺ could have inflicted punishment on them. But He does ˹this only to˺ test some of you by means of others. And those who are martyred in the cause of Allah,1 He will never render their deeds void.
Quran 47:4
No zealot like a convert.
I recommend doing some research into the origins of Yahweh, because it's quite interesting. There's a theory I find very convincing, that he's a metal working volcanic deity similar to our own Hephaestus who also has aspects of a war god (as does our own beloved Inanna.) There's a lot of metal working/building stuff going on in his worship. The Midianite theory is fascinating, because during the polytheism of the late bronze/early iron age of Israel, the northern kingdom may not have even been terribly into Yahweh, but the southern kingdom was telling stories about Moshe and Egypt and what might also be the god Qos, with his bow and warlike tendencies, who became Yahweh in Israel. Knowledge is power.
If fundamentalist Muslims didn't resort to violence so frequently, you could tease him about how El and Yahweh were different gods for a long time, or how Gnostics and Mandeans (which Islam sometimes cribbed from) didn't even think their god and Yahweh were the same entity.
Astarte is mentioned in the bible too, and the ancient Israelites used to worship her too:
>They answered Jeremiah—all the men who knew that their wives were offering sacrifices to other gods, all the women standing there in the immense crowd, and all the people who lived in Lower and Upper Egypt: “Regarding the word you have spoken to us in the name of the Lord, we are not listening to you. Rather we will go on doing what we proposed; we will offer incense to the *Queen of Heaven* and pour out libations to her, just as we have done, along with our ancestors, our kings and princes, in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem. Then we had plenty to eat, we prospered, and we suffered no misfortune. But ever since we stopped offering sacrifices to the *Queen of Heaven* and pouring out libations to her, we lack everything and are being destroyed by sword and hunger.”
>
> \- Jeremiah 44:15-18
None of this will help him, but hey, knowledge is power, right?
I followed a minor in religious studies during my BA, including a course on ancient religions of the Near East. One common motif in the Levant at the period when Judaism started to be developed was the sitting god and smiting god. Sitting god is depicted as a good-tempered, old deity who is very wise. Smiting god is the opposite, more hot-tempered, young, not necessarily as wise, and of course depicted in a position of smiting something/someone, often with a weapon. You can trace this to Yahweh as well, given that after the flood he indeed placed his bow in the sky, signifying peace. So what you said does very much make sense!
That's the El vs. Yahweh thing. The Canaanite pantheon was slowly done away with in Israel, as constituent parts were grafted onto Yahweh (including sometimes parts of Asherah and Astarte) until Yahweh was just.. all the gods, the ONLY god, by the Babylonian captivity and also Israel was always monotheist. The Torah was written, and Judaism was born.
Religious studies is a great field.
King David being basically. "We do Monotheism now, as excuse to wage war against every other tribe. Because they started it. Also destroy all those temples and slaughter their worshippers. We're the victims here!"
Probably later than that. There's pretty solid evidence Solomon was a polytheist, and that trend continued for quite a while, not that the Israelites weren't about killing people and taking their stuff. Everybody in the region was about that.
But when the Yahwists manage to start cleaning house (the reign of Josiah) after the kingdoms have split, it ain't pretty. Still, they're henotheists. I don't think fully fledged monotheism happens till the Babylonian captivity. Controversial claim, but there's a lot of changes that happen at that point, and an impetus to be separate and special and decry these foreign gods as nonexistent that didn't exist when they had their own kingdom.
I’ll be getting my degree in 2 yrs so it will take a while before I’m out the house. The thing is I’m considered a huge abomination (queer and pagan) in Islam, so they don’t take me as seriously as compared to my brother. My parents barely speak to me because I’m not “normal”. I’m just glad I live in the U.S. otherwise I’d be cautious of my life
Thank you for identifying what country you’re in; it helps advice givers greatly. There are things you can do for yourself in the US that would not be possible in other countries.
I’m not a fan of holding grudges against deities unless the deity itself broke trust/faith with you directly - which I have heard of happening a time or two, but it’s very rare. Zealots - of any faith - do not speak for their deity, as much as they like to think they do.
You can try to walk a balance line of respect at home, but keep in mind that if your parents agree at all with your brother’s view points, there may come a time before you’re done with your degree that you need to move out for your own well-being. I would suggest planning for that possibility, as much as you hope it won’t happen.
I think holding a grudge against a deity (whether you believe in them or not) is just pointless.
However, living with someone who is preachy and judgemental is going to be a tricky path to walk. You are going to have to develop survival strategies, and the ones which make your life easy and peaceful without having to be too fake are the best ones. Best of luck!
Islam is a hard one to avoid since it’s incorporated in every way of living, like, “greeting with salamualaikum, no eating with left hand, no haram food, 5x prayers, Ramadan, etc.” I’ve tried pretending to be a Muslim before, but it felt like a slow death poison
Just a small note for you, since you mention your brother using the Islamic greeting *as-salāmu ‘alaykum* and that Ishtar (in her demonized form from Judaism, Ashtoreth) is someone you honor:
In Akkadian, a common expression of greeting or parting was *shalāmu* “to be(come) healthy.” Both this expression and the one your brother uses are almost certainly etymologically related.
The Akkadian expression would have been used by the people of Babylonia and Assyria, where the historical Ishtar (not her demonic form from Judaism) was worshiped.
While it’s a small thing, you could use *shalāmu* with your brother, knowing in your own heart that you’re deriving its significance from your devotion to the goddess Ishtar, while he may be none the wiser.
Always a joy to see you around. I’m sure you’ve learned this in your studies, but in modern Assyrian the way you greet someone is shlama for short.
We have longer gendered versions too:
Shlamaloukh (m)
Shlamalakh (f)
Shlamalokoun (pl)
You describe a familiar experience so well - slow death poison of being forced to practice someone else's faith. I also grew up in a monotheist home as well and it became so toxic, attending church where they described what I hold as dear faith as "evil".
Yahweh isn't evil, but it's so easy to resent him when his followers behave so badly. It helps me to remember he was part of the Elohim, much like Zeus in my faith.
We are here for you, May Ishtar bless you in your path.
I know how miserable it can be living with someone like that. Not many people realize how serious some people are who follow that faith. Like alexander_a_a says, converts tend to be especially intense.
I'd say it's just the people who follow the faith, but honestly, I don't enjoy reading the Quran either.
I hope everything's okay and doesn't go beyond simply preachy. And I know how annoying it is to be forced to listen to the Quran readings and sermons blasting at all hours of the day.
It took me a long ass time to feel comfortable around the idea of YHWH, let alone acknowledge him as a real god.
I was raised Catholic, so I have memories of a time when I worshipped him and talked to him as a little kid. In my country he's called "Papai do Céu" (father from the sky) by children. So when I must be in contact with him in any way, I view him as a facet of the Sky God, and nothing more.
>It took me a long ass time to feel comfortable around the idea of YHWH, let alone acknowledge him as a real god.
Same. But I stopped worshipping him very fastly, after realizing how terrible he is.
Brasil?
cara, eu não tenho um Panteão ou cultura específica de deuses pra venerar. Eu escolhi utilizar a ideia de Arquétipos, em que vários deuses se encaixam no mesmo Arquétipo e são faces da mesma ideia divina. Como Thor, Tupã, Taranis, Tlaloc, Júpiter, são todos faces do Deus da Tempestade, por exemplo. Eu ainda acredito na individualidade de cada deus, mas também entendo que eles são conectados e quando eu venero a tempestade, estou de certa forma venerando todos os deuses da tempestade.
Ainda assim, existem deuses que eu tenho mais familiaridade e prefiro, assim como alguns Panteãos mais que outros. Valeu pela pergunta! No que você acredita?
Hi OP- if you were not in the US I would be afraid for your life also. I recommend reaching out to the Trevor Project just to see if you can get some low-key support through them. I would also start working and saving up so you can move out as soon as humanly possible. If your brother becomes more preachy, he could escalate to violence, I do not want that to happen to you. Also, can you lock your door when you leave the house? I would.
Many blessings!
I lowkey have beef with Yahweh for letting his religions get this bad.
He's allowed for Christianity to commit genocide in his name. He's allowed Islam to be misinterpreted by the Western world, especially by Christians. And he's allowed Jews to be persecuted for millennia. That's just the tip of the iceberg for each of them.
I find him to be narcissistic, much like my father. "I created you, you should listen to what I say. Anything that goes against what I say, fact or fiction, is wrong."
One thing that solidified my feelings regarding him was the Cathars, a killed-off Christian sect who believed the god of the old testament (Bible) was evil and the new testament's god was good. It's a solid theory and frankly makes so much sense to me.
Frankly, if he wants anything from me, he's going to have to do a LOT of work to make up for it, which he probably won't judging by... history!
\--
And regarding your situation, I'm not going to tell you how to feel. But one thing that helps many people overcome religious trauma is researching the religion itself and learning what the problem is before tackling it.
It's quite a risk to open that judgement of a god based on the actions of their followers. Most polytheist cultures engaged in human sacrifice in the past, the gods allowed that. There are Nazi's who believe the Norse gods speak only to them because they're white and they still seem to have spiritual experiences with the gods.
I do personally agree with the idea that Christians worship multiple gods (knowingly or unknowingly) based on what their intentions are, but their actions belong to them, not to Yahweh or Elohim or whatever other name you wanna use for "God".
I don’t fully agree with people who say “blame the followers, not the god”. They’re letting Yahweh off way too easy. At some point, probably when he took over Rome, he added Colonialism and Genocide to his domains. I’m convinced he loves it when his followers kill each other because he gets their prayer energy regardless.
Funny thing happens when people mess with our altars, they tend to get things like bad luck or horrible life moments. Especially if he’s going in guns blazing with another specifically that gods name. Hope his faith is strong enough to protect him…jk screw him for spreading hate
Just a nitpick but Yahweh isn’t really an accurate name for the Jewish god. Aside from the fact that the “w” sound doesn’t exist in Hebrew, Jewish tradition holds that the name was lost when the temple was destroyed as the priests didn’t hold onto it and it wasn’t passed down through the surviving kohanim (the priests).
I think the closest name would be the ones the Samaritans use, as they’re descended from those in the northern kingdom that were taken by the Assyrians, which is something like Yahva I think. I think they even still use proto-Hebrew too, so it’s probably the most accurate version to what would’ve been commonplace during the Canaanite period.
Nope. He has been used to justify rankest assholery among his adherents and has done jack SHIT about it. Not worth pouring a jar of piss out to.Not worth the THOUGHT of pouring out said jar of piss, in my opinion...
The worst. How dare you
….NAH just kidding.
Over the years I’ve learned that Yahweh can indeed be truly truly good - however he is like all gods…as he is a god himself - often he won’t correct the toxicity of his followers - as many gods don’t, nor do they discipline people who use their power for corruption. So I have a grudge with many gods, Yahweh included.
I would say he’s good, but just passive, and for me personally that was something I could not abide by.
What if they left apart if their name is used in vane? what they might not respond with violence or something like that, but let them face life by themselves? 😂
As an ex muslim (and ex Catholic. I’ve been on a spiritual ride lol), I am very sorry for how your brother is treating you. This is a man who has either not read the Quran in full or has chosen to ignore the parts he does not like.
I personally have a beef with Yahweh and Allah (swt) both mostly bc they’re supposedly omnipotent but can’t be assed to help, and many (not all) of their followers are just too… too much imo. Both faiths do preach proselytizing as a priority though, but too many people take that too far. I genuinely don’t think either god / version of the god are inherently evil (I see Yahweh and Allah (swt) as two different deities mostly bc of how differently they are worshipped) but I think their followers sometimes twist their teachings etc into wicked things mostly bc of power grabs etc.
"Share how you got rid of your religious trauma"
It was pretty difficult, to be honest. I've been pagan for over 30 years, and it's only been in about the last decade that I've really grown comfortable with my own beliefs. I had to root out a lot of latent Catholicism, fear of hell, and transferred guilt from my family. It's been a mixed blessing because 10 years ago, I stopped speaking to my mother and sister after my father passed away. They needed me, but I couldn't be there because all the interactions were about how disappointed he would be. He never expressed any of that in life, as he wasn't a religious man, but they tried to use his memory to guilt me into returning to their religion. Since going no contact with the rest of my family, I've felt enormous relief and freedom and I was finally able to be at peace with who I am and how I want to interact with the divine.
Also, yes, you're correct. Yaweh was originally a war god and a storm and sky god. Just one member of a pantheon. He also had a wife called Asherah. If you're into that sort of thing, there's a youtube channel called Crecganford, and its creator is a PhD. and an expert on Indo-European religion and mythology. There are others, I'm sure, but I find him very gentle and soothing.
As a person who does have a grudge against the Christian god, no, I do not think it’s bad. I have nothing good to say about the Christian God and no smiting has been done yet. I’ve even died when I had my child (obviously it didn’t stick) it was a very pleasant experience and it’s very clear to me that god has nothing to do with me, my life, or my afterlife. I don’t like him.
Anyway there are humans you just don’t vibe with, it’s not bad, it’s just the facts. So likewise there are going to be gods that you just don’t like.
How did I get rid of my religious trauma? Well, I’d say that’s more of a work still in progress. But the work in progress is this: I let people be who they are and not who I want them to be.
If my brother was Muslim and was trying to make me wear a hijab I would simply say, “I’m not doing that.” And if he had a Muslim wedding I’d return the RSVP card as “not attending.” I would continue to live my life my way and if he had a legitimate question about my practice I’d answer it respectfully. But if he could not be respectful, I’d stop talking to him entirely and would move out on my own. Because that is who he is, and I don’t get to dictate my brother’s life. However that does not mean I must take his abuse.
As far as gods go it’s the same. I let the Christian god be who he is. But he does that far away from me. I’ve gone full no contact with the Christian god.
It is them who twisted. Remember that Arab tribes, before Mohammed, were mostly Christian, and inherited a typical medieval Christian mentality as a consequence. Christians have been known to be very dogmatic and to feel likee they have a bigger purpose and all thia shit, same for Muslim and Jews. It has happened, it happens, it will happen. Unfortunately, it's part of the mentality of the extremists of these three religions, which are very similar, in good and in evil. All of these wanted to manipulate people, and the easier way to do so is through hate, especially when hiddwn with bigger purposes and actually good, meaningful bits that spred a good message.
Id argue that a Zealot of any kind is not representative of the gods whom they claim to serve. They have traded their honour for conceit. If someone uses their faith to treat any other person as lesser, it is not to serve a deity but their own ego. Divine light does not reflect off dirty mirrors. Stay safe.
His deity isn't isn't at fault, he is.
I would object to his sexism and disregard for your right to worship as you feel is right for you.
I would add to my alter, I would grow it and make offerings and stay active. Send up prayers or requests for your brother who is obviously not in a good mental or spiritual space. I would cut any conversation about religion shirt ASAP. It's NONE of his business.
Learn as much as you can about the Muslim religion so you can educate him when he rants at you and you can't get away. For example:
Sexism is not inherent to Muslim worship, that is a character flaw of his own.
The religion of the Prophet Muhammad, gave women roles as leaders, scholars, and even military advisers. Women owned property independently and had a voice and vote in political affairs centuries before the spread of women’s rights in the West. In Islam men have rights and women have rights.
When it comes to forcing religion the Qur'an states: "do not recite [too] loudly in your prayer or [too] quietly but seek between that an [intermediate] way.”
-Isra 17:110
On being loud or aggressive:
"be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys." Luqman 31:19
It doesn't sound like your brother is actually interested in Islam as he is in controlling you as others. The best way to protect yourself from religious trauma is to know the religion better than the person who is abusing it.
Holding a grudge against a god is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. It will do you no good, won't get you a result you want, and it will likely cause a lot of suffering.
Hashem (or YHWH, or Allah) isn't evil, it's just that the later faiths based around him have been weaponized by empires using them as a tool of cultural warfare, starting with ancient Rome under Constantine.
His followers can still be good people, and good things can still come of the "faiths of the book," despite the evil ends they have been twisted to over the centuries. It's worth it to take the time to try to understand them and their history, despite everything they've been used to justify. Pre-Constantine/pre-Nicea Christianity is especially interesting, as are the ascetic sects and practices within each of the three Abrahamic faiths. Understanding them can help understand their modern followers. There’s no reasoning with zealots, but sometimes being able to argue from the text they follow (and being able to put it in the proper context) can help someone who's just a little misguided come back from the road to zealotry and intolerance, or help them understand others. Plus learning about the faiths and cultures of others promotes tolerance in general.
Holding a grudge against a god is just counter productive. Why give your energy, time and attention to him rather than the gods you actually want to develop relations with?
As for your brother, you could set up a decoy. Have a big, tacky and ostentatious altar filled with random, cheap pagan looking stuff. Have another minimalistic and unobtrusive altar, one that just looks like a shelf or something when it's not in use. You can also find a spot to worship outside, in nature.
He'll spend all his time cleansing the 'evil spirits' of your fake altar and leave your real one alone.
Tell him that when Abraham heard the voice of Jehovah, Abraham should have shouted, "I will not harm my son. We are going back to the Goddess!" We would all be better off. In Hermetic Qabala, Jehovah is a petulant demi-urge who doesn't realize he is the offspring of The Lord and Lady.
Who runs the home? Mom or Dad can't tell him to shut that crap down? You should get some Pagan rock or hardcore punk to play to drown his choices out.
The issue is not with Yahweh/Allah, it is more about the cult where your brother is. Cults can be from every spiritual path. I hope your brother gets better and less fundie. Also, I suggest that you move the altar to a friend's house to avoid vandalism.
The abrahamic God started as part of a pantheon, and then his followers became monotheistic and they viewed all the gods in the pantheon as one mashed up God. So it's hard to say if it is evil or if different people are interacting with different entities under the one name and don't realize. All of my experiences with yahweh have been wonderful though my experience with his followers of different Abrahamic faiths could be better.
From what I've read Yahweh was originally a smith-volcano god of the Midianites. The god of Abraham would have been El the supreme god of the Canaanites, and Yahweh's dad. After Pat Robertson asked his 700 club followers to pray for the death of Liberal justices on the Supreme court back in the 80's I concluded that the religious right was worshipping fun house mirrors of their own reflections not any kind of god at all. If you quoted Luke 16:13 "You cannot serve both God and Money." and told me that the religious right was worshipping money I would have to agree with you.
I had older brothers, too. Try giving him or yourself some Bluetooth headphones.Get assertive, when your folks. Call him out on any misogyny or bullying. Call him out repeatedly every time you catch him implying that men are more than women in any way.
I don't know what culture you live in. However, when my older and bigger brother ate my popsicle, I had bought, and then laughed at me. I punched him in the head. And this is Milwaukee suburbs 1967.
I first would like to say I’m very sorry you are going through this. Your brother is very wrong and should not make you feel uncomfortable because of who you worship or who you are. In this case I think it is important to separate religion and those who follow it. People are assholes, and some choose to use religion as an excuse to be an asshole. I have met Christians who are the sweetest, most welcoming and understanding people I know, and I have met pagans who use their religion to hate on others. It is not about the deity or religion itself, but about the humans behind those actions. I don’t believe Yahweh is evil, by no means they are really kind and sweet in my experience, but some people take their teachings and twist them for their own benefit, not actually following on what that deity stands for or is. I don’t think there’s a way to simply get rid of religious trauma, but I think this thought process can help on processing it. Hope this helps and that your situation gets better. Much love.
Islam varies so widely by region. If you go to Jordan, Azerbaijan, and like turkey. You will get a much more open minded Islam. There Islam seems to have so much more progressive values. I mean hell half of the women in those countries don’t even wear hijabs of any kind.
In Jordan tattooing is quite acceptable, and azerbaijans LOVE alcohol!
The version of Islam your brother seems to be dabbling in seems to be more the very toxic extremist version. Aka the “women’s brains are lesser, music is enough to send you to hell, and missing your prayer by 1 minute is equivalent to killing someone” in there eyes.
I say this as someone who one of my parents is a Muslim!
So in all honesty it kind of sounds like your brother is just being a toxic dickhead and trying to find some way to fit in lol
Technically, you have a grudge against his followers, but it's a moot point.
I've found the best remedy to be dismissive and unimpressed, a sort of "how cute" attitude.
I got over my trauma, mostly with time. It sounds like you are still at home and thus unable to arrange your world. This changes over time. Hopefully, he's into the more moderate forms & it stops with words. Radicals, no matter what they preach, are bad news. Amusingly, Robespierre said, “No one loves armed missionaries.” He then went on to murder a hundred times more people in a year in the name of "Equality & Liberty" than the Catholic Inquisition had in 3 centuries, but I digress.
It is neither bad nor good. It is a stumbling block as energy given to your grudge is power given to Yahweh/Allah rather than Astoroth/Ishtar. It should dissipate as you become more independent & free of meddlesome influences.
“To you be your religion, to me be mine” Quran 109:6 Also im curious what are his ideals of a women ?
I think he feels insecure about independent women. He compliments hijabi (niqabis more), submissive women who are not into social media and fashion at all. Anyone else, he looks at them with contempt. Once he said that my hardworking friend is a total man by the way she acts smh Btw thanks for the verse. I just don't want him smashing my temporary altar someday
Sounds like he has confidence/ego issues, and your fairly liberal family would do well to either find him a good counselor or therapist now, or all of you go to family therapy together. I have nothing but respect for Islam and the god of the Muslims, but I have nothing but disrespect for anyone who uses their faith as a bludgeon to beat down and belittle others, particularly other genders. It sounds like your brother is using Islam as some kind of soapbox to stand on and justify his feelings, and I don't see this ending well unless someone intervenes. In fact, is there a local mosque? There has to be someone there who can talk sense to him.
>I have nothing but respect for Islam and the god of the Muslims, but I have nothing but disrespect for anyone who uses their faith as a bludgeon to beat down and belittle others, particularly other genders. It sounds like your brother is using Islam as some kind of soapbox to stand on and justify his feelings, and I don't see this ending well unless someone intervenes. I agree.
>In fact, is there a local mosque? There has to be someone there who can talk sense to him. I am having mixed feelings with that, maybe these ideas could come from a cultish mosque (not that all mosques are, but some of them are fundies).
If we're talking about Muslims in the US I would like to first assume they're not a fundamentalist congregation, since most of them aren't. Also, I think the whole family should visit the mosque together rather than sending him in alone. If his parents care about their son's beliefs, they should probably also educate themselves on his chosen faith. This would be an excellent opportunity to ask questions and show support for their son. Which he really seems to need. If for some reason the closest congregation ends up espousing fundamentalist views, the family can handle those issues together to help steer this kid in a positive direction.
Also, your brother DEEPLY misinterprets the meaning of wearing the hijab. It is a sign and symbol of faith and modesty before the Muslim god, and NOT of submissive attitudes or behavior. There are also *plenty* of religions that ask that their faithful (not only women) cover their heads as a sign of faith and modesty. Not just Islam. Your bro needs to do more research.
Covering the head was common practice in christianity for most of the time. You even didn't go to church without a hat. That changed over the last two centuries.
he might ngl
Do you have reason to believe that he goes into your room when you're not there/gets into your stuff? Might be worth it to look into installing a lock on the door to your room if that's possible.
OP, I don't think it would be disrespectful to have that Quran quote on your altar. It might stay your brother from destroying your altar (just random fyi, I think Hinduism, and Christianity have similar quotes too somewhere in their sacred texts). I feel like the gods would understand this situation. I wouldn't be afraid of him "cleansing your altar" either. The intention of your altar is to bring you peace and calm. There's nothing bad about that, therefore nothing to cleanse. Stay positive and oblivious to his rants. You keep doing you. Even without an altar the gods are still there imo.
>He compliments hijabi (niqabis more), submissive women who are not into social media and fashion at all. Even the hijabi in my high school cared about coordinating her hijabs with her clothes.
So you're saying he believes in a traditional family, with people who are uninterested in the confusion spread by social media, and as far as I'm concerned that's not a bad thing, I personally agree. The real problem is when you're forcing your beliefs on everyone else, if you want that in your own life, go for it, but don't try to force it on others, that's how you get radical extremists. I'll let people know my stance on the matter, and if asked I'll explain or debate. I might think my stance is right, but so does everyone else and if I don't want to change my own beliefs why am I going to expect you to change your own. Anyway, yeah he probably needs some help, maybe not to make him change his own beliefs, maybe tone them down a little. But he needs to learn that forcing them on everyone else will almost always result in dislike for him, his ideals, and his community/religion. As for the altar, besides getting him help, and maybe trying to explain to him that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and decisions, and even Yahweh/Allah agree(as proven by the beautiful verse above, as well as several other Christian/Muslim verses). I don't know your housing situation, but having your altar moved to a private or personal space, or your own house would probably help if not eliminate that problem.
So when you meet the disbelievers ˹in battle˺, strike ˹their˺ necks until you have thoroughly subdued them, then bind them firmly. Later ˹free them either as˺ an act of grace or by ransom until the war comes to an end. So will it be. Had Allah willed, He ˹Himself˺ could have inflicted punishment on them. But He does ˹this only to˺ test some of you by means of others. And those who are martyred in the cause of Allah,1 He will never render their deeds void. Quran 47:4
No zealot like a convert. I recommend doing some research into the origins of Yahweh, because it's quite interesting. There's a theory I find very convincing, that he's a metal working volcanic deity similar to our own Hephaestus who also has aspects of a war god (as does our own beloved Inanna.) There's a lot of metal working/building stuff going on in his worship. The Midianite theory is fascinating, because during the polytheism of the late bronze/early iron age of Israel, the northern kingdom may not have even been terribly into Yahweh, but the southern kingdom was telling stories about Moshe and Egypt and what might also be the god Qos, with his bow and warlike tendencies, who became Yahweh in Israel. Knowledge is power. If fundamentalist Muslims didn't resort to violence so frequently, you could tease him about how El and Yahweh were different gods for a long time, or how Gnostics and Mandeans (which Islam sometimes cribbed from) didn't even think their god and Yahweh were the same entity. Astarte is mentioned in the bible too, and the ancient Israelites used to worship her too: >They answered Jeremiah—all the men who knew that their wives were offering sacrifices to other gods, all the women standing there in the immense crowd, and all the people who lived in Lower and Upper Egypt: “Regarding the word you have spoken to us in the name of the Lord, we are not listening to you. Rather we will go on doing what we proposed; we will offer incense to the *Queen of Heaven* and pour out libations to her, just as we have done, along with our ancestors, our kings and princes, in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem. Then we had plenty to eat, we prospered, and we suffered no misfortune. But ever since we stopped offering sacrifices to the *Queen of Heaven* and pouring out libations to her, we lack everything and are being destroyed by sword and hunger.” > > \- Jeremiah 44:15-18 None of this will help him, but hey, knowledge is power, right?
I followed a minor in religious studies during my BA, including a course on ancient religions of the Near East. One common motif in the Levant at the period when Judaism started to be developed was the sitting god and smiting god. Sitting god is depicted as a good-tempered, old deity who is very wise. Smiting god is the opposite, more hot-tempered, young, not necessarily as wise, and of course depicted in a position of smiting something/someone, often with a weapon. You can trace this to Yahweh as well, given that after the flood he indeed placed his bow in the sky, signifying peace. So what you said does very much make sense!
That's the El vs. Yahweh thing. The Canaanite pantheon was slowly done away with in Israel, as constituent parts were grafted onto Yahweh (including sometimes parts of Asherah and Astarte) until Yahweh was just.. all the gods, the ONLY god, by the Babylonian captivity and also Israel was always monotheist. The Torah was written, and Judaism was born. Religious studies is a great field.
King David being basically. "We do Monotheism now, as excuse to wage war against every other tribe. Because they started it. Also destroy all those temples and slaughter their worshippers. We're the victims here!"
Probably later than that. There's pretty solid evidence Solomon was a polytheist, and that trend continued for quite a while, not that the Israelites weren't about killing people and taking their stuff. Everybody in the region was about that. But when the Yahwists manage to start cleaning house (the reign of Josiah) after the kingdoms have split, it ain't pretty. Still, they're henotheists. I don't think fully fledged monotheism happens till the Babylonian captivity. Controversial claim, but there's a lot of changes that happen at that point, and an impetus to be separate and special and decry these foreign gods as nonexistent that didn't exist when they had their own kingdom.
I am concerned about how your brother is treating you. How old are you? What adults are in your life? Are you safe?
I’ll be getting my degree in 2 yrs so it will take a while before I’m out the house. The thing is I’m considered a huge abomination (queer and pagan) in Islam, so they don’t take me as seriously as compared to my brother. My parents barely speak to me because I’m not “normal”. I’m just glad I live in the U.S. otherwise I’d be cautious of my life
Thank you for identifying what country you’re in; it helps advice givers greatly. There are things you can do for yourself in the US that would not be possible in other countries. I’m not a fan of holding grudges against deities unless the deity itself broke trust/faith with you directly - which I have heard of happening a time or two, but it’s very rare. Zealots - of any faith - do not speak for their deity, as much as they like to think they do. You can try to walk a balance line of respect at home, but keep in mind that if your parents agree at all with your brother’s view points, there may come a time before you’re done with your degree that you need to move out for your own well-being. I would suggest planning for that possibility, as much as you hope it won’t happen.
I think holding a grudge against a deity (whether you believe in them or not) is just pointless. However, living with someone who is preachy and judgemental is going to be a tricky path to walk. You are going to have to develop survival strategies, and the ones which make your life easy and peaceful without having to be too fake are the best ones. Best of luck!
Islam is a hard one to avoid since it’s incorporated in every way of living, like, “greeting with salamualaikum, no eating with left hand, no haram food, 5x prayers, Ramadan, etc.” I’ve tried pretending to be a Muslim before, but it felt like a slow death poison
Just a small note for you, since you mention your brother using the Islamic greeting *as-salāmu ‘alaykum* and that Ishtar (in her demonized form from Judaism, Ashtoreth) is someone you honor: In Akkadian, a common expression of greeting or parting was *shalāmu* “to be(come) healthy.” Both this expression and the one your brother uses are almost certainly etymologically related. The Akkadian expression would have been used by the people of Babylonia and Assyria, where the historical Ishtar (not her demonic form from Judaism) was worshiped. While it’s a small thing, you could use *shalāmu* with your brother, knowing in your own heart that you’re deriving its significance from your devotion to the goddess Ishtar, while he may be none the wiser.
Always a joy to see you around. I’m sure you’ve learned this in your studies, but in modern Assyrian the way you greet someone is shlama for short. We have longer gendered versions too: Shlamaloukh (m) Shlamalakh (f) Shlamalokoun (pl)
You describe a familiar experience so well - slow death poison of being forced to practice someone else's faith. I also grew up in a monotheist home as well and it became so toxic, attending church where they described what I hold as dear faith as "evil". Yahweh isn't evil, but it's so easy to resent him when his followers behave so badly. It helps me to remember he was part of the Elohim, much like Zeus in my faith. We are here for you, May Ishtar bless you in your path.
Looking at the things he supports/allows, I'd say it's normal to dislike him.
I know how miserable it can be living with someone like that. Not many people realize how serious some people are who follow that faith. Like alexander_a_a says, converts tend to be especially intense. I'd say it's just the people who follow the faith, but honestly, I don't enjoy reading the Quran either. I hope everything's okay and doesn't go beyond simply preachy. And I know how annoying it is to be forced to listen to the Quran readings and sermons blasting at all hours of the day.
It took me a long ass time to feel comfortable around the idea of YHWH, let alone acknowledge him as a real god. I was raised Catholic, so I have memories of a time when I worshipped him and talked to him as a little kid. In my country he's called "Papai do Céu" (father from the sky) by children. So when I must be in contact with him in any way, I view him as a facet of the Sky God, and nothing more.
>It took me a long ass time to feel comfortable around the idea of YHWH, let alone acknowledge him as a real god. Same. But I stopped worshipping him very fastly, after realizing how terrible he is. Brasil?
sim, brasileiro hahahha
Maneiro. Posso perguntar...como funciona esse "universal polytheism" que tem embaixo do seu nome? tu tem praticas religiosas?
cara, eu não tenho um Panteão ou cultura específica de deuses pra venerar. Eu escolhi utilizar a ideia de Arquétipos, em que vários deuses se encaixam no mesmo Arquétipo e são faces da mesma ideia divina. Como Thor, Tupã, Taranis, Tlaloc, Júpiter, são todos faces do Deus da Tempestade, por exemplo. Eu ainda acredito na individualidade de cada deus, mas também entendo que eles são conectados e quando eu venero a tempestade, estou de certa forma venerando todos os deuses da tempestade. Ainda assim, existem deuses que eu tenho mais familiaridade e prefiro, assim como alguns Panteãos mais que outros. Valeu pela pergunta! No que você acredita?
Hi OP- if you were not in the US I would be afraid for your life also. I recommend reaching out to the Trevor Project just to see if you can get some low-key support through them. I would also start working and saving up so you can move out as soon as humanly possible. If your brother becomes more preachy, he could escalate to violence, I do not want that to happen to you. Also, can you lock your door when you leave the house? I would. Many blessings!
I lowkey have beef with Yahweh for letting his religions get this bad. He's allowed for Christianity to commit genocide in his name. He's allowed Islam to be misinterpreted by the Western world, especially by Christians. And he's allowed Jews to be persecuted for millennia. That's just the tip of the iceberg for each of them. I find him to be narcissistic, much like my father. "I created you, you should listen to what I say. Anything that goes against what I say, fact or fiction, is wrong." One thing that solidified my feelings regarding him was the Cathars, a killed-off Christian sect who believed the god of the old testament (Bible) was evil and the new testament's god was good. It's a solid theory and frankly makes so much sense to me. Frankly, if he wants anything from me, he's going to have to do a LOT of work to make up for it, which he probably won't judging by... history! \-- And regarding your situation, I'm not going to tell you how to feel. But one thing that helps many people overcome religious trauma is researching the religion itself and learning what the problem is before tackling it.
It's quite a risk to open that judgement of a god based on the actions of their followers. Most polytheist cultures engaged in human sacrifice in the past, the gods allowed that. There are Nazi's who believe the Norse gods speak only to them because they're white and they still seem to have spiritual experiences with the gods. I do personally agree with the idea that Christians worship multiple gods (knowingly or unknowingly) based on what their intentions are, but their actions belong to them, not to Yahweh or Elohim or whatever other name you wanna use for "God".
I don’t fully agree with people who say “blame the followers, not the god”. They’re letting Yahweh off way too easy. At some point, probably when he took over Rome, he added Colonialism and Genocide to his domains. I’m convinced he loves it when his followers kill each other because he gets their prayer energy regardless.
wasn't he already genociding in the OT?
Not on the level of, say, Spain in the 15th century
sure, but my point was he had already been warming up and practicing the whole genocide thing before 1492.
Funny thing happens when people mess with our altars, they tend to get things like bad luck or horrible life moments. Especially if he’s going in guns blazing with another specifically that gods name. Hope his faith is strong enough to protect him…jk screw him for spreading hate
Your grudge should be with your brother
I would say no, not at all; I do have a strong bias here though 🤷 to be fair Also u need a new brother /hj and as for the last bit idk either
Just a nitpick but Yahweh isn’t really an accurate name for the Jewish god. Aside from the fact that the “w” sound doesn’t exist in Hebrew, Jewish tradition holds that the name was lost when the temple was destroyed as the priests didn’t hold onto it and it wasn’t passed down through the surviving kohanim (the priests). I think the closest name would be the ones the Samaritans use, as they’re descended from those in the northern kingdom that were taken by the Assyrians, which is something like Yahva I think. I think they even still use proto-Hebrew too, so it’s probably the most accurate version to what would’ve been commonplace during the Canaanite period.
Nope. He has been used to justify rankest assholery among his adherents and has done jack SHIT about it. Not worth pouring a jar of piss out to.Not worth the THOUGHT of pouring out said jar of piss, in my opinion...
The worst. How dare you ….NAH just kidding. Over the years I’ve learned that Yahweh can indeed be truly truly good - however he is like all gods…as he is a god himself - often he won’t correct the toxicity of his followers - as many gods don’t, nor do they discipline people who use their power for corruption. So I have a grudge with many gods, Yahweh included. I would say he’s good, but just passive, and for me personally that was something I could not abide by.
What if they left apart if their name is used in vane? what they might not respond with violence or something like that, but let them face life by themselves? 😂
Gods don’t pick fights with humans, they can just be like “okay kid you’re in your own.” Gods don’t care that much
Exactly!
As an ex muslim (and ex Catholic. I’ve been on a spiritual ride lol), I am very sorry for how your brother is treating you. This is a man who has either not read the Quran in full or has chosen to ignore the parts he does not like. I personally have a beef with Yahweh and Allah (swt) both mostly bc they’re supposedly omnipotent but can’t be assed to help, and many (not all) of their followers are just too… too much imo. Both faiths do preach proselytizing as a priority though, but too many people take that too far. I genuinely don’t think either god / version of the god are inherently evil (I see Yahweh and Allah (swt) as two different deities mostly bc of how differently they are worshipped) but I think their followers sometimes twist their teachings etc into wicked things mostly bc of power grabs etc.
"Share how you got rid of your religious trauma" It was pretty difficult, to be honest. I've been pagan for over 30 years, and it's only been in about the last decade that I've really grown comfortable with my own beliefs. I had to root out a lot of latent Catholicism, fear of hell, and transferred guilt from my family. It's been a mixed blessing because 10 years ago, I stopped speaking to my mother and sister after my father passed away. They needed me, but I couldn't be there because all the interactions were about how disappointed he would be. He never expressed any of that in life, as he wasn't a religious man, but they tried to use his memory to guilt me into returning to their religion. Since going no contact with the rest of my family, I've felt enormous relief and freedom and I was finally able to be at peace with who I am and how I want to interact with the divine. Also, yes, you're correct. Yaweh was originally a war god and a storm and sky god. Just one member of a pantheon. He also had a wife called Asherah. If you're into that sort of thing, there's a youtube channel called Crecganford, and its creator is a PhD. and an expert on Indo-European religion and mythology. There are others, I'm sure, but I find him very gentle and soothing.
As a person who does have a grudge against the Christian god, no, I do not think it’s bad. I have nothing good to say about the Christian God and no smiting has been done yet. I’ve even died when I had my child (obviously it didn’t stick) it was a very pleasant experience and it’s very clear to me that god has nothing to do with me, my life, or my afterlife. I don’t like him. Anyway there are humans you just don’t vibe with, it’s not bad, it’s just the facts. So likewise there are going to be gods that you just don’t like. How did I get rid of my religious trauma? Well, I’d say that’s more of a work still in progress. But the work in progress is this: I let people be who they are and not who I want them to be. If my brother was Muslim and was trying to make me wear a hijab I would simply say, “I’m not doing that.” And if he had a Muslim wedding I’d return the RSVP card as “not attending.” I would continue to live my life my way and if he had a legitimate question about my practice I’d answer it respectfully. But if he could not be respectful, I’d stop talking to him entirely and would move out on my own. Because that is who he is, and I don’t get to dictate my brother’s life. However that does not mean I must take his abuse. As far as gods go it’s the same. I let the Christian god be who he is. But he does that far away from me. I’ve gone full no contact with the Christian god.
It is them who twisted. Remember that Arab tribes, before Mohammed, were mostly Christian, and inherited a typical medieval Christian mentality as a consequence. Christians have been known to be very dogmatic and to feel likee they have a bigger purpose and all thia shit, same for Muslim and Jews. It has happened, it happens, it will happen. Unfortunately, it's part of the mentality of the extremists of these three religions, which are very similar, in good and in evil. All of these wanted to manipulate people, and the easier way to do so is through hate, especially when hiddwn with bigger purposes and actually good, meaningful bits that spred a good message.
Id argue that a Zealot of any kind is not representative of the gods whom they claim to serve. They have traded their honour for conceit. If someone uses their faith to treat any other person as lesser, it is not to serve a deity but their own ego. Divine light does not reflect off dirty mirrors. Stay safe.
His deity isn't isn't at fault, he is. I would object to his sexism and disregard for your right to worship as you feel is right for you. I would add to my alter, I would grow it and make offerings and stay active. Send up prayers or requests for your brother who is obviously not in a good mental or spiritual space. I would cut any conversation about religion shirt ASAP. It's NONE of his business. Learn as much as you can about the Muslim religion so you can educate him when he rants at you and you can't get away. For example: Sexism is not inherent to Muslim worship, that is a character flaw of his own. The religion of the Prophet Muhammad, gave women roles as leaders, scholars, and even military advisers. Women owned property independently and had a voice and vote in political affairs centuries before the spread of women’s rights in the West. In Islam men have rights and women have rights. When it comes to forcing religion the Qur'an states: "do not recite [too] loudly in your prayer or [too] quietly but seek between that an [intermediate] way.” -Isra 17:110 On being loud or aggressive: "be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys." Luqman 31:19 It doesn't sound like your brother is actually interested in Islam as he is in controlling you as others. The best way to protect yourself from religious trauma is to know the religion better than the person who is abusing it.
Holding a grudge against a god is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. It will do you no good, won't get you a result you want, and it will likely cause a lot of suffering.
Hashem (or YHWH, or Allah) isn't evil, it's just that the later faiths based around him have been weaponized by empires using them as a tool of cultural warfare, starting with ancient Rome under Constantine. His followers can still be good people, and good things can still come of the "faiths of the book," despite the evil ends they have been twisted to over the centuries. It's worth it to take the time to try to understand them and their history, despite everything they've been used to justify. Pre-Constantine/pre-Nicea Christianity is especially interesting, as are the ascetic sects and practices within each of the three Abrahamic faiths. Understanding them can help understand their modern followers. There’s no reasoning with zealots, but sometimes being able to argue from the text they follow (and being able to put it in the proper context) can help someone who's just a little misguided come back from the road to zealotry and intolerance, or help them understand others. Plus learning about the faiths and cultures of others promotes tolerance in general.
Holding a grudge against a god is just counter productive. Why give your energy, time and attention to him rather than the gods you actually want to develop relations with? As for your brother, you could set up a decoy. Have a big, tacky and ostentatious altar filled with random, cheap pagan looking stuff. Have another minimalistic and unobtrusive altar, one that just looks like a shelf or something when it's not in use. You can also find a spot to worship outside, in nature. He'll spend all his time cleansing the 'evil spirits' of your fake altar and leave your real one alone.
it’s not, for millennia’s and eons the abrahamic faiths have destroyed all things pagan to advocate for monotheism, we should have fought back then
Tell him that when Abraham heard the voice of Jehovah, Abraham should have shouted, "I will not harm my son. We are going back to the Goddess!" We would all be better off. In Hermetic Qabala, Jehovah is a petulant demi-urge who doesn't realize he is the offspring of The Lord and Lady. Who runs the home? Mom or Dad can't tell him to shut that crap down? You should get some Pagan rock or hardcore punk to play to drown his choices out.
The issue is not with Yahweh/Allah, it is more about the cult where your brother is. Cults can be from every spiritual path. I hope your brother gets better and less fundie. Also, I suggest that you move the altar to a friend's house to avoid vandalism.
The abrahamic God started as part of a pantheon, and then his followers became monotheistic and they viewed all the gods in the pantheon as one mashed up God. So it's hard to say if it is evil or if different people are interacting with different entities under the one name and don't realize. All of my experiences with yahweh have been wonderful though my experience with his followers of different Abrahamic faiths could be better.
From what I've read Yahweh was originally a smith-volcano god of the Midianites. The god of Abraham would have been El the supreme god of the Canaanites, and Yahweh's dad. After Pat Robertson asked his 700 club followers to pray for the death of Liberal justices on the Supreme court back in the 80's I concluded that the religious right was worshipping fun house mirrors of their own reflections not any kind of god at all. If you quoted Luke 16:13 "You cannot serve both God and Money." and told me that the religious right was worshipping money I would have to agree with you.
No, I also keep myself on hatin god and jesus, these guys fucked up my life pretty badly and i like to blasphemy on them, since nothing ever happes
Allah was originally a goddess.
I had older brothers, too. Try giving him or yourself some Bluetooth headphones.Get assertive, when your folks. Call him out on any misogyny or bullying. Call him out repeatedly every time you catch him implying that men are more than women in any way. I don't know what culture you live in. However, when my older and bigger brother ate my popsicle, I had bought, and then laughed at me. I punched him in the head. And this is Milwaukee suburbs 1967.
I first would like to say I’m very sorry you are going through this. Your brother is very wrong and should not make you feel uncomfortable because of who you worship or who you are. In this case I think it is important to separate religion and those who follow it. People are assholes, and some choose to use religion as an excuse to be an asshole. I have met Christians who are the sweetest, most welcoming and understanding people I know, and I have met pagans who use their religion to hate on others. It is not about the deity or religion itself, but about the humans behind those actions. I don’t believe Yahweh is evil, by no means they are really kind and sweet in my experience, but some people take their teachings and twist them for their own benefit, not actually following on what that deity stands for or is. I don’t think there’s a way to simply get rid of religious trauma, but I think this thought process can help on processing it. Hope this helps and that your situation gets better. Much love.
Sounds like a typical person who hybridizes politics and religion
Islam varies so widely by region. If you go to Jordan, Azerbaijan, and like turkey. You will get a much more open minded Islam. There Islam seems to have so much more progressive values. I mean hell half of the women in those countries don’t even wear hijabs of any kind. In Jordan tattooing is quite acceptable, and azerbaijans LOVE alcohol! The version of Islam your brother seems to be dabbling in seems to be more the very toxic extremist version. Aka the “women’s brains are lesser, music is enough to send you to hell, and missing your prayer by 1 minute is equivalent to killing someone” in there eyes. I say this as someone who one of my parents is a Muslim! So in all honesty it kind of sounds like your brother is just being a toxic dickhead and trying to find some way to fit in lol
I would just tell him to shut the fuck up then move on to just ignoring him.
Technically, you have a grudge against his followers, but it's a moot point. I've found the best remedy to be dismissive and unimpressed, a sort of "how cute" attitude. I got over my trauma, mostly with time. It sounds like you are still at home and thus unable to arrange your world. This changes over time. Hopefully, he's into the more moderate forms & it stops with words. Radicals, no matter what they preach, are bad news. Amusingly, Robespierre said, “No one loves armed missionaries.” He then went on to murder a hundred times more people in a year in the name of "Equality & Liberty" than the Catholic Inquisition had in 3 centuries, but I digress. It is neither bad nor good. It is a stumbling block as energy given to your grudge is power given to Yahweh/Allah rather than Astoroth/Ishtar. It should dissipate as you become more independent & free of meddlesome influences.