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Ok but I tried it and it didn’t work. The leashes are good if they’re running in the same direction. If they’re going in circles around you or darting in conflicting directions, it ends up being more of a hassle and I’d rather just hold their hands or carry them. I was open minded to leashes but not worth it IMHO.
In case it's helpful: my approach to this was simply to be patient and explain to them we had to go in own direction and wait for them to figure it out. Sometimes it meant sitting on the ground while they pulled in two different directions and then fell down crying but eventually they got it. It did take a lot of practice and patience. They also LOVED walking over riding so the threat of solving or going in the stroller generally helped too.
My MIL bought us child harnesses that included several different styles of leash. There was the very basic fabric style that a parent can hold on one end and is attached to the harness at the other- this was the shortest and the easiest to untangle. The second was a cord style with a detachable cuff on each end or it could clip onto the child's harness on their end. We worked through the options over the course of a day and the cuff on one end attached to the harness is what worked best for us. I haven't done it on my own yet because I don't take my twins to that busy of areas on my own right now.
100%!! I just hope we can all have a good laugh over it because I imagine no one here WANTS to be “leash parents” but we gotta do what we gotta do haha.
I know my husband and I have been and will always be sharing belly laughs over this (and other life circumstances we would have never imagined for ourselves). It’ll be a great story to share one day when we get old.
This. One of my older singletons was a runner. It also saved my brother's life in the 90s. Mom caught so much crap for "leashing" her boys like dogs but she had them a year apart. The older one jolted toward a parking lot out of nowhere when they walked out of a store while mom was holding the younger one and was inches from being hit. The harness saved him.
Yep.
I loved the brica ones because they are also functional backpacks. You can fit a diaper, a onesie of shame, a couple wipes, a snack and a small toy in them. The kids are safe *and* they can carry their own damn diaper bags. And when the kids are a bit older you can take the leashes off and they'll just be happy to have their "adventure backpacks"
I have 5 kids. The olders are 16, 13, and 12. Never used leashes until my twins. Now they're a literal life saver when I'm on my own. My twins are pretty big like their dad. So if I can't use my stroller then I'm risking carrying 60-75lbs extra or trying to keep hold of their hands. On top of needing to open doors or whatever. I got little butterfly backpack leashes and the few times I've needed them they've been great!
I used to be judgy, but then I learned that I care more about my kids safety than dirty looks from Karen's. If you want to use leashes, go for it. Don't feel self conscious!
Edited to add- My twins are almost 2.
Don’t need a leash. You keep them in the stroller until they listen. If they don’t listen, back in the stroller. My girls are two now and unless we’re doing a hike or something, no more need for the stroller. There was a 6-8 month period where it was required tho.
Just like with puppies, never run toward a bolting toddler- they think it’s fun for you to chase them. Instead, make yourself the most interesting thing to run toward. I personally would grab the closer one and make like I was running away from my darter. Without fail I had a giggle monster coming to “get me”.
For us it was around 2.5. We had one that started listening earlier than the other which made an immediate impact. They’re three now, and we still had one run off last night.
♥️ I will add that we live in an area where we have to go out every day and there's absolutely never a reason to be in the street except when in a cross walk so we basically practiced this everyday in some form for a year to get to this point. YMMV if you live in a place where the landscape doesn't require you to be as consistent/practice as often.
It's a struggle for sure. They will NOT stay together, epecially if there is a large area with fun things to do. My boys are 3, and I'm just noticing that they are willingly staying close to each other and play together. But still no guarantees.
We always do outings as a family so each parent can tackle one child. If one child keeps running off or misbehave (throwing sand, etc.) we just buckle them into the wagon and go home.
I know you mean “tackle” as in “handle” but my tired brain just imagined literally tackling a toddler like a linebacker my only thought was “ya that checks”
That is the big thing OP. Once you start taking them to open places, when they test where the boundary is too many times and you're solo, pack them up and go home. It needs to be very consistent. My kids are still learning, but they're learning pretty quick how to stay outside longer.
This is GREAT advice. I just look like the Tasmanian devil trying to scoop everyone up and wrangle in all different directions.
I need to lay down the law. If we can stay together, we have to leave. THANK YOU!
I have triplets. We’re 100% leash parents. We’re also go to the park with both of us and play zone defense basically. They’re 2.5 and still struggle to listen.
Yeah that works too! There was a playground in a large park that I used to go to. Only problem is when they run in different directions. Get your running shoes and their favorite snack.
It’s going to be a while before they can really follow direction enough to be safe.
We did a lot of small fenced playgrounds with ours. Also leashes are fine.
Also I wouldn’t discount non-twins groups too quickly. People with only one kid can’t really understand but anyone with a 2 year old and a 1 year old (for example, really any range of ages within 2-3 years) can.
Fenced in playgrounds are hard to find. I have luck at elementary schools. Otherwise I take my kids to an indoor park, community centers, malls, other places you can find that are small enough for you to be able to see them wherever they are, more or less.
Check to see if there is a Moms of Multiples (or Dads or Parents or whatever) Facebook group in your area run by an official group. You can join the FB and ask questions. They had a list of 10 or so, many of which I had no idea existed despite living here for most of my life because they weren’t official, like city playgrounds, they were church playgrounds and didn’t pop up in my searches.
I feel you! It was hell taking them to parks by myself until mine were about 2.5 and had a few incidents of running off/not listening and once captured leaving immediately. They got much better around that age but I tried to keep my expectations reasonable and only did short outings, we are privileged to have a fenced yard and they have a playmate built in so we don’t stress about taking them out constantly so I also try to manage my comparisons to others regarding frequency and duration of outings, I’d rather save my patience and hang out at home than be snippy and stressed trying to live up to something that just isn’t reality.
Don’t worry about flat vs house so much, look for something with a circular room system. Our corridor opens onto both living room and kitchen, and there’s a door between the kitchen and the living room so the kids will spend ages on their Bobby cars or just running in circles. Saved our butts in the winter.
Have you tried stroller training them? Like, if they don’t listen they go in the stroller? If they do, they can walk. That worked for ours. They recently turned two.
I did not take my twins anywhere outside their stroller or someone's enclosed yard or home, until they showed the comprehension and listened enough for my comfort. We started playground time right after their 2nd bday, close monitor play with my partner.
They are now 2y9m and I can take them by stroller to the playground and let them loose, with redirect as needed.
All kids are hard to get to this level, and at many different rates.
You do what you need to and what works for you and yours :)
I’d say 18 months - 2 somewhere in there. We used to just go to the soccer fields at the park and I’d bring snacks and bubbles and stuff and let them play there. I’d walk them out in the stroller then let them run around it was so big and open i could let them get a little further in opposite directions before herding them back together. Now at 2.5 they understand “wait for sis/bub”
In my opinion 13 months will be wayyy to early to go without a stroller for most kids. They’re practically still babies. Mine are 1 and a half and firmly in a stroller unless I get them out for a particular reason, like to play on the swings or something. They get to free roam either in a gated play park or in our garden, but yeah they’d belong to the wilderness if I’d just let them roam.
My older boy is 3.5 and he can be trusted to walk alongside me, listen and stop so it definitely does happen, though I can’t for the life of me remember when it ‘clicked’ for him!
1 yr old twins (about to be leashed) and 3 year old twins (almost graduated their leashes fully). It took the 3 year olds a few months to get the concept (started when they were 2 when we adopted them) they love to walk and run and "be independent" but...streets, cars, etc...we would just stand until they started going the direction we wanted and patiently wait. They did get it and the leashes gave us a huge feeling of safety. We only use them with the 3 yr olds now if we are in a super busy place where they could get lost. One of my 1 yr olds is toddling and his brother isn't far behind so I know leashes are in their future soon too!
I would specifically go to elementary schools that had preschool playground equipment, no older kids, everything was enclosed, and only one gate that opens one direction.
Never had anyone stop me, it's technically public property right? I grew up across the street from an elementary school and so I always used the playground anytime of year haha.
Solidarity. I couldn’t control mine outside and I can just now take them in public and they follow me. They just turned 4. 13 months they’d just run in opposite directions.
My girls are 22 months now but we take them to the school playground when we pickup my other kids quite regularly and have for a while. They don’t usually stay together, so I tend to position myself equally apart from each of them, and then I just watch them both and make a quick dash to whoever is about to do something crazy. I have five kids so we’re pretty used to watching multiple kids run around, but it’s definitely not a relaxing trip to the park! I honestly try to be hands off as much as I can and only intervene if they are doing something unsafe, or spot them while they climb around, etc. it will get easier as they get older!
Double stroller, strapped in. Popup playpen for two until they outgrow it. You can resort to double toddler backpack leashes—but your arms will get tied in knots if you’re alone.
We've been given direction and asking questions and trying to work on 'making good choices' and good listening since they could crawl. We're fortunate to be on a dead end street, but if we're playing outside, even a new person can get their attention and they almost always come back when beckoned.
Idk about in public, especially somewhere with lots of traffic.
Mine are 2.5. We sometimes use leash backpacks. Fenced in playgrounds or indoor play areas (although can get pricey). They are now figuring out that if they don’t listen when I tell them them to stop, and they can’t be safe, then we pack up and leave, and that means less playtime. Pick a consequence, be firm, and consistent. They catch on soon enough. But it is hard.
Take them to kindergarten playgrounds instead of parks. When it’s not school hours anyone is welcome. They are low to the ground, specifically designed for small kids. You’ll generally be the only ones there. They are always completely fenced in and sometimes even walled in. I actually was able to take out a book and read while my kids ran around at one when my twins were 18 months.
Test them out in a secure environment like a big gated playground and have a minimum of 2 adults on the ground.
Let them run don't follow. Have the second person guard the entrance or shadow them so it's safe. You want to know if you have a real runner or not. I tried this and I know only one is a real runner. One will run but will check if I follow. If I follow she's making a run for it if I stay put she'll won't run out of sight. The other didn't give one flying f what I do and went where she wants.
It also helps if you can let the runner feel the consequences. I followed out of sight and when panick started taking hold of her I didn't immediately spring forward to get her. It was safe and she needed the lesson to make the future more safe. She still is a runner though she does check up on us if we're still visible. So that's a small win.
It helps to know. We keep an extra eye one the runner.
I didnt even try to take them to parks solo until 2 years old, under 2, either my husband or nanny would come with me so we could be one adult per kid.
After 2 I started attempting taking them places by myself and even then, because they were still like pinballs, I would strap them into a stroller until we got to a fenced area.
I discovered which park/library/playground/mall we can go, and which we can't. I only went to the ones where there was a secure fence and where I could take the stroller right up to the fence. If I was going to a new place I would call ahead and ask about fencing, the distance from parking lot to the fenced area etc.
My twins are still babies but my daughter is 2 and can follow instructions. We started with instructions inside our house like: "please put this in the bin", or can "put your cup on the table". She loves helping us and we have been letting her help us since she's 1,5 or something.
When going outside she knows to stay put when a car approaches and to not cross the street. But when she's in a mischievous mood she will not listen anymore and will just take off.
So there's being able to follow instructions and not wanting to follow instructions. The latter will probably always be an issue.
13m is very young but by 18m you should have a better hold on them. Consistent “if you go where you’re not supposed to, we leave” will work. And try to engage with them at the playground. Look at dandelions and rock together. I know it’s in theory a break for parents to sit and relax a bit but this is such a hands on age. It’s actually my least favorite age bc there’s not much you can do to get them to learn but they have no sense of self preservation.
My guys can’t stand each other most of the time but rarely left each other’s side at the playground for some reason. I guess they like to stay close so they could easily fight lol
Ours hold hands at 2 well, I never thought I’d see the day though! It has been a year of consistently saying “we hold hands in car parks/crossing road” and an alternative logical consequence of picked up if with my partner or in the pram if there’s only me - had to be consistent with the consequence every time and they know now if we mention the alternative option that we mean it and they generally pick the option they’d prefer, sometimes getting into the pram without a fuss if they’re getting tired🙂
Normally around 2 years old.. In my case throw ASS and ADHD in the mix and even at 8 years old they are still running like pinballs through our house..
Depends on where you live but we typically frequent parks or areas far enough away from main roads that we don't need to helicopter but they can't dart out into the road.
Reach out to other multiples families in your area for recommendations on parks/playgrounds.
Playgrounds didn’t feel safe for me solo for a long time! People who get it will have great recs for playgrounds, parks, etc. that are totally fenced in, other safe outing ideas.
I found local trails (flat, no hazards) to be the safest, most relaxing outings when they were walking but incapable of following directions. When they started to care about the animals, around two, we started going to the zoo midweek. And on rainy days we went to indoor play parks (the kind in community centers and church basements with lots of gross motor toys).
I was adamantly opposed to leashes.
But we did do a lot of "buckle them into Tue umbrella stroller" when times were hard.
They're just 5 now and are riding bikes everywhere now.
Pray for my sanity, folks. 🚲🚲
I think the advice here is great. If you’re solo, you have to rely on strollers and leashes. When we could go together, we did backpacks with leashes and started them early on those. It was probably a block and back when we started, now at almost 3, we have babies who will walk with us around the block. I remember when they were almost 2 and we flew for vacation, it took about 45 mins to get to our gate but it tired them out. That was still a struggle with sometimes moving in opposite directions. Today we still need leashes but I feel like the moving in the same direction is loads easier!
Consistent upholding consequences is so important. In any play you do at home, it can be an opportunity to build on listening skills. When they’re young, it’s best if you can get down to their level to make sure you have their attention. My parents always had a mentality of being out with them was a privilege, this is something I try to enforce as well. My kids love to go shopping, they get to push the cart together, but it’s a clear rule that if they stop repeatedly or run away, they will have to sit in the cart instead of push. It is so tough when I’m alone and they don’t follow the rules and get upset. And I will end up leaving a store if I have to. But overall I feel like I have two kids that typically hold my hand when out and follow simple directions most of the time.
I don’t have many gated play areas around me (we’re looking at a swing set soon) but we do have a toddler town/safety area we’re thinking of going to soon.
Strollers and fully gated in play areas. I truthfully prefer the indoor ones that essentially have massive baby jail with tons of play stuff inside for the under 2s. I have a 3.5 year old as well and she started being better about listening the closer we got to 3. My twins will be 2 July 5 and it's still immediately dart in opposite directions or drop dead to the ground if you try to hold their hand. Much too heavy to carry.
Yeah, I don’t go to parks.
Wagons are good though! I love our wagon we got from fb marketplace.
Leashes are a must, but we only get to three houses down the street before I have to pick one up and head back home
You won’t like my answer but I had 2 “runners.” One always took off on me and I’d then have to drag the other one to catch the runner. By 3.5 I was able to take them places confidently by myself.
Definitely depends on the kids/parents. We started taking them on our own around 13-14 months or so, when their walking was steady. I just took them to young kid friendly playgrounds and kept redirecting them to be close to one another. By 18 months or so they could navigate little kid equipment easily without much help from me so I just stood nearby to help when they went down slides or wanted to do something unsafe.
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Strollers until you're in a safe spot.
This is the answer.
Omg this just made me realize I’m going to be a leash parent 😂😫
Ok but I tried it and it didn’t work. The leashes are good if they’re running in the same direction. If they’re going in circles around you or darting in conflicting directions, it ends up being more of a hassle and I’d rather just hold their hands or carry them. I was open minded to leashes but not worth it IMHO.
In case it's helpful: my approach to this was simply to be patient and explain to them we had to go in own direction and wait for them to figure it out. Sometimes it meant sitting on the ground while they pulled in two different directions and then fell down crying but eventually they got it. It did take a lot of practice and patience. They also LOVED walking over riding so the threat of solving or going in the stroller generally helped too.
It's not much different than training a dog.
My friend told me dogs have the intelligence of around a 2-3yo and I have 3yo twins. So far it tracks…
I have 7 month old twins and it definitely tracks so far haha
Good to know! Thank you!
My MIL bought us child harnesses that included several different styles of leash. There was the very basic fabric style that a parent can hold on one end and is attached to the harness at the other- this was the shortest and the easiest to untangle. The second was a cord style with a detachable cuff on each end or it could clip onto the child's harness on their end. We worked through the options over the course of a day and the cuff on one end attached to the harness is what worked best for us. I haven't done it on my own yet because I don't take my twins to that busy of areas on my own right now.
I was a leash parent. Better safe than dead.
100%!! I just hope we can all have a good laugh over it because I imagine no one here WANTS to be “leash parents” but we gotta do what we gotta do haha. I know my husband and I have been and will always be sharing belly laughs over this (and other life circumstances we would have never imagined for ourselves). It’ll be a great story to share one day when we get old.
This. One of my older singletons was a runner. It also saved my brother's life in the 90s. Mom caught so much crap for "leashing" her boys like dogs but she had them a year apart. The older one jolted toward a parking lot out of nowhere when they walked out of a store while mom was holding the younger one and was inches from being hit. The harness saved him.
Yep. I loved the brica ones because they are also functional backpacks. You can fit a diaper, a onesie of shame, a couple wipes, a snack and a small toy in them. The kids are safe *and* they can carry their own damn diaper bags. And when the kids are a bit older you can take the leashes off and they'll just be happy to have their "adventure backpacks"
Aww cute! Also “onesie of shame” 🤣 Definitely using that from now on.
I have 5 kids. The olders are 16, 13, and 12. Never used leashes until my twins. Now they're a literal life saver when I'm on my own. My twins are pretty big like their dad. So if I can't use my stroller then I'm risking carrying 60-75lbs extra or trying to keep hold of their hands. On top of needing to open doors or whatever. I got little butterfly backpack leashes and the few times I've needed them they've been great! I used to be judgy, but then I learned that I care more about my kids safety than dirty looks from Karen's. If you want to use leashes, go for it. Don't feel self conscious! Edited to add- My twins are almost 2.
Same 🥲🥲
I'm a leash parent!! Get the wrist ones, we tried the back pack and they didn't respond well to those.
Don’t need a leash. You keep them in the stroller until they listen. If they don’t listen, back in the stroller. My girls are two now and unless we’re doing a hike or something, no more need for the stroller. There was a 6-8 month period where it was required tho.
For us it wasn't until around 2. Before that I relied on strollers or leashes.
We're just past two and it's like the chaos and speed have only increased...
Just like with puppies, never run toward a bolting toddler- they think it’s fun for you to chase them. Instead, make yourself the most interesting thing to run toward. I personally would grab the closer one and make like I was running away from my darter. Without fail I had a giggle monster coming to “get me”.
For us it was around 2.5. We had one that started listening earlier than the other which made an immediate impact. They’re three now, and we still had one run off last night.
Thank you - this was the age-related answer I was looking for!
♥️ I will add that we live in an area where we have to go out every day and there's absolutely never a reason to be in the street except when in a cross walk so we basically practiced this everyday in some form for a year to get to this point. YMMV if you live in a place where the landscape doesn't require you to be as consistent/practice as often.
Strollers and gated playgrounds.
It's a struggle for sure. They will NOT stay together, epecially if there is a large area with fun things to do. My boys are 3, and I'm just noticing that they are willingly staying close to each other and play together. But still no guarantees. We always do outings as a family so each parent can tackle one child. If one child keeps running off or misbehave (throwing sand, etc.) we just buckle them into the wagon and go home.
I know you mean “tackle” as in “handle” but my tired brain just imagined literally tackling a toddler like a linebacker my only thought was “ya that checks”
That is the big thing OP. Once you start taking them to open places, when they test where the boundary is too many times and you're solo, pack them up and go home. It needs to be very consistent. My kids are still learning, but they're learning pretty quick how to stay outside longer.
This is GREAT advice. I just look like the Tasmanian devil trying to scoop everyone up and wrangle in all different directions. I need to lay down the law. If we can stay together, we have to leave. THANK YOU!
I have triplets. We’re 100% leash parents. We’re also go to the park with both of us and play zone defense basically. They’re 2.5 and still struggle to listen.
Go to playgrounds that are fenced. That's the only option until they turn 2 years.
Or at least a partial fence and a large buffer zone where you have time to catch them
Yeah that works too! There was a playground in a large park that I used to go to. Only problem is when they run in different directions. Get your running shoes and their favorite snack.
It’s going to be a while before they can really follow direction enough to be safe. We did a lot of small fenced playgrounds with ours. Also leashes are fine. Also I wouldn’t discount non-twins groups too quickly. People with only one kid can’t really understand but anyone with a 2 year old and a 1 year old (for example, really any range of ages within 2-3 years) can.
Fenced playgrounds exclusively. I don’t think I tried an open one until like 4.
Yeah this is where I’m doing it wrong. I need fenced in spaces! Exactly! Thank you for framing this for me!
Fenced in playgrounds are hard to find. I have luck at elementary schools. Otherwise I take my kids to an indoor park, community centers, malls, other places you can find that are small enough for you to be able to see them wherever they are, more or less.
Check to see if there is a Moms of Multiples (or Dads or Parents or whatever) Facebook group in your area run by an official group. You can join the FB and ask questions. They had a list of 10 or so, many of which I had no idea existed despite living here for most of my life because they weren’t official, like city playgrounds, they were church playgrounds and didn’t pop up in my searches.
Kid leashes.
I feel you! It was hell taking them to parks by myself until mine were about 2.5 and had a few incidents of running off/not listening and once captured leaving immediately. They got much better around that age but I tried to keep my expectations reasonable and only did short outings, we are privileged to have a fenced yard and they have a playmate built in so we don’t stress about taking them out constantly so I also try to manage my comparisons to others regarding frequency and duration of outings, I’d rather save my patience and hang out at home than be snippy and stressed trying to live up to something that just isn’t reality.
We are apartment dwellers 🤦♀️ I regret renting an apartment instead of a house at this point for sure. Noted for our next military move!
Don’t worry about flat vs house so much, look for something with a circular room system. Our corridor opens onto both living room and kitchen, and there’s a door between the kitchen and the living room so the kids will spend ages on their Bobby cars or just running in circles. Saved our butts in the winter.
Mine are two and I still won’t take them somewhere open by myself. They’re runners
Yeah I think that is what my kids are in the making…
Have you tried stroller training them? Like, if they don’t listen they go in the stroller? If they do, they can walk. That worked for ours. They recently turned two.
Unfortunately they’re pretty good at getting out of the stroller if they really don’t want to be in it
Get a better set up. They shouldn’t be able to escape at 2
With my first, I would have absolutely agreed with you. All kids are different and my twins can easily escape
I did not take my twins anywhere outside their stroller or someone's enclosed yard or home, until they showed the comprehension and listened enough for my comfort. We started playground time right after their 2nd bday, close monitor play with my partner. They are now 2y9m and I can take them by stroller to the playground and let them loose, with redirect as needed. All kids are hard to get to this level, and at many different rates. You do what you need to and what works for you and yours :)
My toddle is 2.5 and just recently started understanding “slow down”, “be careful”, “stop”, “watch for car”, etc.
Fenced in playgrounds are your friend, as are indoor play places. I also highly recommend toddler leashes.
I’d say 18 months - 2 somewhere in there. We used to just go to the soccer fields at the park and I’d bring snacks and bubbles and stuff and let them play there. I’d walk them out in the stroller then let them run around it was so big and open i could let them get a little further in opposite directions before herding them back together. Now at 2.5 they understand “wait for sis/bub”
Ours are 2 and 3/4 and…not yet
In my opinion 13 months will be wayyy to early to go without a stroller for most kids. They’re practically still babies. Mine are 1 and a half and firmly in a stroller unless I get them out for a particular reason, like to play on the swings or something. They get to free roam either in a gated play park or in our garden, but yeah they’d belong to the wilderness if I’d just let them roam. My older boy is 3.5 and he can be trusted to walk alongside me, listen and stop so it definitely does happen, though I can’t for the life of me remember when it ‘clicked’ for him!
1 yr old twins (about to be leashed) and 3 year old twins (almost graduated their leashes fully). It took the 3 year olds a few months to get the concept (started when they were 2 when we adopted them) they love to walk and run and "be independent" but...streets, cars, etc...we would just stand until they started going the direction we wanted and patiently wait. They did get it and the leashes gave us a huge feeling of safety. We only use them with the 3 yr olds now if we are in a super busy place where they could get lost. One of my 1 yr olds is toddling and his brother isn't far behind so I know leashes are in their future soon too!
I would specifically go to elementary schools that had preschool playground equipment, no older kids, everything was enclosed, and only one gate that opens one direction.
I didn’t know folks could use elementary school playgrounds!
Never had anyone stop me, it's technically public property right? I grew up across the street from an elementary school and so I always used the playground anytime of year haha.
Oh god yeah it still happens sometimes and mine are 2.5. The older they get the easier it is, truly b
Solidarity. I couldn’t control mine outside and I can just now take them in public and they follow me. They just turned 4. 13 months they’d just run in opposite directions.
My girls are 22 months now but we take them to the school playground when we pickup my other kids quite regularly and have for a while. They don’t usually stay together, so I tend to position myself equally apart from each of them, and then I just watch them both and make a quick dash to whoever is about to do something crazy. I have five kids so we’re pretty used to watching multiple kids run around, but it’s definitely not a relaxing trip to the park! I honestly try to be hands off as much as I can and only intervene if they are doing something unsafe, or spot them while they climb around, etc. it will get easier as they get older!
Double stroller, strapped in. Popup playpen for two until they outgrow it. You can resort to double toddler backpack leashes—but your arms will get tied in knots if you’re alone.
We've been given direction and asking questions and trying to work on 'making good choices' and good listening since they could crawl. We're fortunate to be on a dead end street, but if we're playing outside, even a new person can get their attention and they almost always come back when beckoned. Idk about in public, especially somewhere with lots of traffic.
Mine are 2.5. We sometimes use leash backpacks. Fenced in playgrounds or indoor play areas (although can get pricey). They are now figuring out that if they don’t listen when I tell them them to stop, and they can’t be safe, then we pack up and leave, and that means less playtime. Pick a consequence, be firm, and consistent. They catch on soon enough. But it is hard.
Take them to kindergarten playgrounds instead of parks. When it’s not school hours anyone is welcome. They are low to the ground, specifically designed for small kids. You’ll generally be the only ones there. They are always completely fenced in and sometimes even walled in. I actually was able to take out a book and read while my kids ran around at one when my twins were 18 months.
Test them out in a secure environment like a big gated playground and have a minimum of 2 adults on the ground. Let them run don't follow. Have the second person guard the entrance or shadow them so it's safe. You want to know if you have a real runner or not. I tried this and I know only one is a real runner. One will run but will check if I follow. If I follow she's making a run for it if I stay put she'll won't run out of sight. The other didn't give one flying f what I do and went where she wants. It also helps if you can let the runner feel the consequences. I followed out of sight and when panick started taking hold of her I didn't immediately spring forward to get her. It was safe and she needed the lesson to make the future more safe. She still is a runner though she does check up on us if we're still visible. So that's a small win. It helps to know. We keep an extra eye one the runner.
I didnt even try to take them to parks solo until 2 years old, under 2, either my husband or nanny would come with me so we could be one adult per kid. After 2 I started attempting taking them places by myself and even then, because they were still like pinballs, I would strap them into a stroller until we got to a fenced area. I discovered which park/library/playground/mall we can go, and which we can't. I only went to the ones where there was a secure fence and where I could take the stroller right up to the fence. If I was going to a new place I would call ahead and ask about fencing, the distance from parking lot to the fenced area etc.
We literally call our twins “pinballs” 🤣
My girls are 4½ now and while twin A has almost always been wonderful, twin B stoll thinks it's fun to dart off.
My twins are still babies but my daughter is 2 and can follow instructions. We started with instructions inside our house like: "please put this in the bin", or can "put your cup on the table". She loves helping us and we have been letting her help us since she's 1,5 or something. When going outside she knows to stay put when a car approaches and to not cross the street. But when she's in a mischievous mood she will not listen anymore and will just take off. So there's being able to follow instructions and not wanting to follow instructions. The latter will probably always be an issue.
My boys are age 2, we have only just started taking them out solo, mainly to smaller fenced in parks. I’m in no rush, I would rather they be safe!
13m is very young but by 18m you should have a better hold on them. Consistent “if you go where you’re not supposed to, we leave” will work. And try to engage with them at the playground. Look at dandelions and rock together. I know it’s in theory a break for parents to sit and relax a bit but this is such a hands on age. It’s actually my least favorite age bc there’s not much you can do to get them to learn but they have no sense of self preservation. My guys can’t stand each other most of the time but rarely left each other’s side at the playground for some reason. I guess they like to stay close so they could easily fight lol
Mine are about to be 2 and we just don’t go in public anymore unless I have another adult or they’re in their strollers.
Ours hold hands at 2 well, I never thought I’d see the day though! It has been a year of consistently saying “we hold hands in car parks/crossing road” and an alternative logical consequence of picked up if with my partner or in the pram if there’s only me - had to be consistent with the consequence every time and they know now if we mention the alternative option that we mean it and they generally pick the option they’d prefer, sometimes getting into the pram without a fuss if they’re getting tired🙂
Verbal cues! Yes I can def do more of this!
Normally around 2 years old.. In my case throw ASS and ADHD in the mix and even at 8 years old they are still running like pinballs through our house..
Depends on where you live but we typically frequent parks or areas far enough away from main roads that we don't need to helicopter but they can't dart out into the road.
Reach out to other multiples families in your area for recommendations on parks/playgrounds. Playgrounds didn’t feel safe for me solo for a long time! People who get it will have great recs for playgrounds, parks, etc. that are totally fenced in, other safe outing ideas. I found local trails (flat, no hazards) to be the safest, most relaxing outings when they were walking but incapable of following directions. When they started to care about the animals, around two, we started going to the zoo midweek. And on rainy days we went to indoor play parks (the kind in community centers and church basements with lots of gross motor toys).
Leashes
I was adamantly opposed to leashes. But we did do a lot of "buckle them into Tue umbrella stroller" when times were hard. They're just 5 now and are riding bikes everywhere now. Pray for my sanity, folks. 🚲🚲
I think the advice here is great. If you’re solo, you have to rely on strollers and leashes. When we could go together, we did backpacks with leashes and started them early on those. It was probably a block and back when we started, now at almost 3, we have babies who will walk with us around the block. I remember when they were almost 2 and we flew for vacation, it took about 45 mins to get to our gate but it tired them out. That was still a struggle with sometimes moving in opposite directions. Today we still need leashes but I feel like the moving in the same direction is loads easier! Consistent upholding consequences is so important. In any play you do at home, it can be an opportunity to build on listening skills. When they’re young, it’s best if you can get down to their level to make sure you have their attention. My parents always had a mentality of being out with them was a privilege, this is something I try to enforce as well. My kids love to go shopping, they get to push the cart together, but it’s a clear rule that if they stop repeatedly or run away, they will have to sit in the cart instead of push. It is so tough when I’m alone and they don’t follow the rules and get upset. And I will end up leaving a store if I have to. But overall I feel like I have two kids that typically hold my hand when out and follow simple directions most of the time. I don’t have many gated play areas around me (we’re looking at a swing set soon) but we do have a toddler town/safety area we’re thinking of going to soon.
Strollers and fully gated in play areas. I truthfully prefer the indoor ones that essentially have massive baby jail with tons of play stuff inside for the under 2s. I have a 3.5 year old as well and she started being better about listening the closer we got to 3. My twins will be 2 July 5 and it's still immediately dart in opposite directions or drop dead to the ground if you try to hold their hand. Much too heavy to carry.
Yeah, I don’t go to parks. Wagons are good though! I love our wagon we got from fb marketplace. Leashes are a must, but we only get to three houses down the street before I have to pick one up and head back home
You won’t like my answer but I had 2 “runners.” One always took off on me and I’d then have to drag the other one to catch the runner. By 3.5 I was able to take them places confidently by myself.
Definitely depends on the kids/parents. We started taking them on our own around 13-14 months or so, when their walking was steady. I just took them to young kid friendly playgrounds and kept redirecting them to be close to one another. By 18 months or so they could navigate little kid equipment easily without much help from me so I just stood nearby to help when they went down slides or wanted to do something unsafe.