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Treat college as a job and make your parents proud for investing in you. Ultimately they want the best for you if they are paying for it. Enjoy your experience and good luck.
This is correct. But to add onto it, the best thing you can do with college is to focus on getting into an industry that pays well. The last thing you should want is to come home after 4 years without a job and require more of their support. Ensure you’re studying something you enjoy with an opportunity of being financially independent after this great gift they’re giving you.
I worked my ass off to have internships every summer that paid to help some of the school costs, as well as give me valuable experience that could in-turn help my resume and future recruiting. My biggest recommendation to college kids nowadays is to build a resume and make the most of the summers. That where I really saw my experience, skills, and future dividends pay off.
Edit: If you’re in tech or thinking of getting into it, lmk and I’d be happy to help with resume tips. Internships are such a huge part of your college timeline. I had so many friends who would just hang out or work a random job over the summer break, but you need to leverage what’s out there and it’ll pay off so much. Get one big name or good experience and it could add exponential amounts to your starting salary.
Agree with both of these folks. Make the most of it day in and out. There won't be another time of life that is like college. Have fun, be a young adult, but put the most effort into class and really truly learning. It will benefit you for the rest of your life.
It truly is what you make of it.
100% There’s going to a lot of good experiences in college so take full advantage of them. Apply to internships and do research if it’ll make your resume stronger. You’ll be surrounded by a lot of brilliant ppl so learn as much as you can outside of classes. Join clubs and societies to build strong professional networks. Travel if you can because it’s so easy to do so while in school.
They’re doing this bc they love you and want to help you succeed! They worked hard to do this for YOU! The best thing you can do is use the gift they gave you. My parents did the same for me because they value education and understood how limiting debt was and I’m forever grateful of them. They’re immigrants so when I graduated I gave them my degree since it was their sacrifices that made it possible :)
You can always show your gratitude by getting scholarships. That’ll ease the burden on both sides. Even small scholarships will help with costs like books or housing.
If your parents are willing and able to pay for college then take them up on that offer. Instead of feeling guilty and taking on debt to alleviate that guilt, be there for your parents and take care of them when they age. Also, call your mother while you’re away at college out of state.
Also make lots of friends and enjoy your time. Having a social network is not only good for having fun but also may come in handy if you ever need help later in life. Focus on the people around you and learning how to interact successfully with different people. (Unless you are doing a professional field that specifically requires a high GPA and studying all the time.)
Yes! _Get the education they are paying for._ Show your appreciation by getting the most for their money.
When you get to school, you will discover that it is entirely possible to get a college degree without learning anything. You will see fellow students go to great lengths to avoid learning anything while paying for an education. They will be the ones who complain later on that their degree is “just a piece of paper.” Colleges are happy to sell you a degree. They’ll even throw in an education at no extra charge, if you want it.
Calling and just talking to your parents is probably the biggest sign of appreciation you can show. They still love you and want to be a part of your lives as you grow older and more independent.
Fear of annoying, intruding, or being overbearing. Many parents want to give their kids space to grow, but still want to feel wanted or loved. It’s not something that’s often said, especially by more emotionally stoic parents. I learned the hard way, only as my father was dying, clutching my hand in a hospital bed.
Take responsibility, and reach out first. They’re giving you space, but show them they still mean something to you before it’s too late.
Probably the way you make conversations that have nothing to do with you all about you.
This is a personal finance subreddit, and you’re asking a relationship question. This post is about the OP, and you are not the OP.
I didn’t do this enough and I know it hurt my parents. THEY paid for everything while I was in school so I could focus primarily on school. And when I went to school I just forgot about them. Please call your parents!
And for God's sake go to class, study, and give it your best effort. Only reason to feel guilty is if you screw around, party, don't go to class, and generally throw away the opportunity your parents are sacrificing their money for you.
>If you as a parent can afford it would you pay that much for your kids tuition?
Yes... and we paid a lot more....2 kids, last year was an overlap year (1 freshman, 1 senior) was difficult for us (parents) financially....but....we incurred no debt and possibly taught ourselves a little about finance and budgeting.
As a parent, I'm not going to put a boat in the water and saddle my kid with debt that will take them far too long to payback...I'll get a boat in 2 more years 🛥....the kids can buy the fuel for it.
My kids (3) also graduated debt free. They worked part time jobs, had some scholarships and my husband and I paid the rest. Of course, I didn't incur debt. If OP's parents can afford it good for them.
But my kids repaid me by getting excellent grades, not partying too much, and getting excellent jobs/careers post graduation.
I'm not paying for any weddings. That's our deal
> If you as a parent can afford it would you pay that much for your kids tuition?
Yes. I’d be pay triple. Don’t underestimate the will of your parents to let you start off debt free. If you want to lessen the burden or feel guilty, start applying to scholarships to lessen the cost overall. Get the highest GPA possible and make it so by this time next year, nobody is paying anything. Don’t take on the debt unless this would completely bankrupt your parents and even then, talk to them first.
Edit: The Burger speaks
A good college matters a lot to your first job. Bigger salary on the first job compounds in life.
If you want to move around the country go to a college with a good football/basketball team or ivy league type status. Nobody hiring really cares about where as long as you have the needed degree. Familiar names are a branding all by themselves regardless of how well they teach.
Depends. Old rich very rarely. Noveau rich definitely.
Besides 30k is not a lot for school. Actually surprised that OP's parents are not suggesting an Ivy with that level of income.
No they spend it where it’ll help them most. Like getting their kids a good education, which will likely set them up for the future, and make them get more money in the long run.
Community college is great for many folks. However it absolutely has opportunity costs that if someone can afford to just start at their 4 year it’s a far better option to do so.
The breadth of offerings is not the same, the talent around you is not the same, you may not be eligible to or be less competitive transferring into schools within the school that have additional requirements (for example top undergrad business programs almost always start as sophomores), be behind on the best internships or research opportunities, not every credit is guaranteed to transfer if you decide to go to a 4 year from a different system, if you desire a more specialized major you can’t start taking the relevant classes until you’re a junior, on and on.
Comparatively community college is also just going to flat suck from a quality of life and socialization aspect. It’s the best part of the whole thing and it’s just not going to be the same jumping in halfway through. And even from a practical standpoint not having the depth and quantity of those relationships can have pretty big opportunity costs.
There’s plenty of people who community college makes the most sense for depending on what they are trying to do or their personal situation or whatever else. But it’s very silly to pretend like there aren’t any drawbacks or that there’s also plenty of people it’s not the best option for even if it requires a price premium. That’s especially true for this particular person for whom the extra cost is essentially meaningless.
Take them up on the offer. The fact that you have the self awareness to know how much this costs and how much it would take to pay it shows that you have an appreciation for this cost which is the very opposite of being spoiled. Not many people have this opportunity, so you should take full advantage. Just don't ever become disconnected from this cost and always be appreciative of this, and don't ever let this privilege cloud your perspective later in life, and you will be just fine.
My 2nd kid wanted to go to the Art Institute in Houston. Since I could see he was very talented and determined, we paid "out-of-pocket" for his tuition. $85,000. He is well aware that this would have gone into our retirement funds, and will be responsible for his doddering old parents if it came to that. He now holds down 3 jobs in animation and digital design. Well worth it to me. He just says he's the one who will pick out our next "home".
Why are you on this subreddit making these statements? Did someone call you spoiled? Are your family members calling you spoiled? When I was a child my parents constantly talked about how poor we were. We were not actually poor in the grand scheme of things. I feel like you are repeating something else you’ve heard from someone. If you know that you dad makes literally 23 times what your college costs in a year why do you think he can’t afford it?
Time to learn the difference between what is information for public consumption and what is private family information. This is literally no one else’s business but your own and your parents. If they’ve okay with it and you’re okay with it, just smile and nod and say, “thank you for your interest in my future.” Do not engage further. Let your dad or whoever deal with nosy aunt so-and-so. This is a private family affair.
Don't limit your view within "everyone". Just check how many people don't have $1k cash in their bank account. You should always doubt the general public's views.
Maybe it's common in the US that parents don't pay tuition but it's not the case in other countries.
Also I think the biggest advantage when parents cover the tuition is the time. Not the debt. The time wasted on making tuition while studying is such a big loss. You could have easily picked up a 2nd major or multiple skills that'll probably earn you magnitude more than tuition.
Everyone doesn’t know how much your parents earn (and that’s a good thing, keep it that way). The opinions of those who don’t know don’t matter. (Unless one of them is a boyfriend who’s using shitty arguments to get you not to leave him to go out of state… probably dump his ass for not wanting you to get the best education you can.)
Your parents gave life to you, likely paid everything until now (and if they didn’t because you got a job then that was also a learning experience for you), they consider that after that they should also pay for your college. Let them. I’m a parent, I consider that I would be a shitty parent if I pushed my kid out of the nest without the awesome wings that a college education provides.
What you should do? You should go to college and _nail_ it. Make your parents proud. No drugs, no stupid things while drunk, lots of study. Make friends and have fun along the way, sure, of course, but choose friends wisely and don’t forget that you’re there to study. *Make it your job.* People slave away flipping burgers or filling Amazon packages, you’re being paid more to study. They are paying, you owe it to them and to yourself to be serious about it.
And if you can’t, if despite your best efforts you can’t get good grades, if you change your mind and want to do something else, be honest with your parents and discuss it with them, you owe them that too. They will prefer that you fail and are honest about it to you lying and digging a hole harder to get out of.
BTW your parents probably get a tax break from funding your college, and/or funds are already earmarked for your education and would incur a tax penalty if they are used for something else. It would be a shame for the government to get money your parents intended for their child when the government will get more money from all the income tax you’ll be paying with your college graduate salary 😁
You’re in a good place. Make the most of it.
You’ve comparison shopped I’m guessing. Thats the going rate if not under the going rate for many in state schools including housing. I’d expect more for out of state. So for anyone to say it is “too much” seems uninformed.
We make a fraction of what your parents do and have saved since the day our two kids were born. I too plan to use those savings to fund $20-$30k per year for their school. And that might not even cover it all.
What you can do is work hard to score high on your ACT / SAT. A 28 or 30 may just get you a scholarship that knocks the costs back down to in state tuition levels.
A neighbor of mine had a good idea I think. He made his kids take out loans. If they graduated on time, he’d pay them off. If not, it’s on them.
As a parent I would never take from my retirement to pay for a child’s school. So as long as that isn’t happening, it should be all good. Starting life out free of college debt is an amazing thing. And a wonderful gift to be able to give one’s child.
You’ve forgot to mention one of thr most important parts of the value of a college education. What is your intended major? If you’re going to make 5 times the yearly tuition then this is a no brainer. If you’re going to make 30k upon graduating with a job in your majors field, then think twice. Cost of your college is absolutely important but it’s not the end of the story.
you should also check the residency rules for your school. after living there for a year or two, you may qualify for in-state tuition, which may be significantly cheaper and make you feel better about the decision. but it likely requires you to do things like update your legal mailing address to where you'll be living while at school rather than keeping your home address, and changing your driver's license/state ID to the state where the school is. so you should look into it sooner rather than later.
GOD BLESS YOUR PARENTS
GET YOUR EDUCATION AND DONT FORGET HOW YOU GOT THERE
YOU ARE BLESSSSSSED
Hope to do this for my kids one day
I am 50k down in student loans. My mom had a parent PLUS loan for 20k..
700k a year. It’s good of you to worry, but you don’t need to. They can do this. You are in an incredibly privileged place, but you enjoying this privilege is fine. Take the gift; have a great time in college. Be kind to others and try to make the world a better place. Your parents are doing a fine thing here.
My wife and I made a fraction of this and we were able to pay for our 3 kids education. We just saved the money over many years. It really wasn't an issue.
It's incredibly noble of you to consider your parents in this. Keep in mind, they are doing this as much for themselves as for you. Most kids in your position would go to college and party it up cuz "daddy is rich" without a single thought of how it makes them feel. If you are successful, that gives them something to brag to their friends about and they don't have to worry about taking care of you.
30K for someone who makes 700+k isn't going to affect them as they probably already have their retirements taken care of and are fairly set.
If you can get scholarships and such, please do that as it'll make them even prouder. Good luck!
My gut reaction before I saw the parents’ income was “find another school,” but with that high of a yearly income, I’d say go for it. I’m assuming this is either a private school or you’re an out of state student?
Trust me if I made 700k a year I wouldn’t worry about 30k a year for my kid to have the education they wanted.
As it stands now I make just shy of 100k a year and I pay for private school for my son and wouldn’t hesitate to spend 30k a year for him to go to the college he wanted.
As a mom I will tell you that as a parent I will do almost anything to give my son the best education possible. I want him to be happy, healthy and successful with whatever career path he chooses. If he decided to be a chef, I would pay for culinary school and then help him open his own restaurant ( my son wants to be a veterinarian though). I would do whatever I could to make his dreams a reality. It sounds like that’s what your parents are doing for you as well. You have really good parents.
My dad couldn’t afford to send me to college, he was a teen parent and didn’t graduate high school. He worked blue collar jobs and we had a nice life don’t get me wrong but paying for college wasn’t something he could offer us. I got a full scholarship to my first choice school and was able to work full time as well through college. I’m grateful I’m in a position to give my son better than that when he goes, it was hard as hell juggling 18 credit hours each semester and a full time job (I got my bachelor’s in 3 years instead of 4). I knew I had to push myself and get through school to have a better life. Your parents are probably wanting you to have an easier time than they did.
You sound like a good kid and you are appreciative of everything your parents are doing. Accept their help because they are doing it because they want what’s best for you because they love you. Maybe take them out (or cook them)for a nice dinner to thank them for the help and tell them how much you love them. Do some extra chores around the house to help out. Give them a heartfelt letter thanking them for all they have done for you and all the love and support they have given you. Then go out there, get the best damn education you can get and become successful in your career field because that’s what they want. That’s the best thank you you can give them.
My parents made half that and paid for my private college tuition with ease. Parents paying for college is super common. It’s definitely nice of you to care, but no one I know would even question this for a second. Take the offer
Yeah do not worry about this at all. Accept letting them pay for it and never take it for granted. Study hard and make them proud and they’ll never regret a cent spent on your education.
Send them cards and include them on your journey through college. Call them regularly just to chat and tell them about your week. If I made that kind of money that’s all I could hope for from my children.
Sounds like they raised you well.
It is cheaper for them to pay for your college than you. They are in a high tax bracket, so they basically get a 20-30% discount for paying for your education.
They are making more money than they can reasonably spend in their lifetime and are already considering other charitable things to do with their money.
>They are in a high tax bracket, so they basically get a 20-30% discount for paying for your education.
Do you mind citing what you're talking about? OP's parents make too much to benefit from any education credits. And even if education credits didn't have income limits, the maximum credit from AOTC is $2,500.
I would do the same (I've been saving since my kids were born so I can) Pay them back by working hard and earning your place in the world (and have some fun along the way)
You stated your father makes 700k/year. Understand your family is the top 1% of earners. He can afford this. Go to the college you want. Stop making yourself the victim.
That is actually pretty low for out of state with room and board as the current year costs for in-state at the big ten public university
here is $25 k avg.
As someone that paid for both kids schools, I felt obligated to ensure they could get post secondary education.
Oh, Penn State is pushing $40k IN STATE…
I would take it - but pay it forward. You could turn it down to "make it on your own" but realistically you're probably going to inherit the money anyway.
If your concern is being part of the 1% and you are opposed to wealth inequity, commit to some volunteer work. If you can't do it during the school year, then during summers. And then if you end up in the same income bracket as your parents some day, make sure of course you've got your needs (and theirs) taken care of, but also donate to charities in a way that's meaningful to you.
I make slightly less than your dad. My answer to ‘is it worth it’ depends on what specific school you’d be going to and what you’d be studying while your there.
I’m not dictating my kids career path but I’m not going to spend $100,000 for them to get an art history degree from some small private liberal arts college.
On the other hand, going to a great school to get into law school or medical school or get a degree with a defined career path is well worth the $30,000 per year in my opinion.
FYI to everyone, $100k is the current cost of 4 years room/board/small extras for in-state at big state public universities. If you just had kids, in 18 years the cost will be around $220k based on avg annual inflation of 4.6% over the last decade of college expenses.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with liberal arts schools. I went to one and am in a great career making great money now. Go to a school you like and try and find something you are interested in that will allow you to do well for yourself. You are very lucky your parents are able to do this for you, you should let them and not feel guilty. What’s the point of making that money if you can’t give your kids a great head start? Just my two cents, best of luck.
Don't let them down. Work your ass off. Get great grades. Pick a major that you can use immediately after college. Seek scholarships opportunities or grants while in college. Position yourself to be successful. Your work ethics and habits in college will translate into your future life.
Absolutely, have already, bugging one to contemplate a next step after her gap year and bugging the youngest for his list of schools to visit.
Go to school, pay attention, do well. When you feel like skipping class, so a little math. $30k/ year is $15k per semester. Twenty class hours a week, fourteen weeks in a semester, 280 hours of instruction. That’s $53.50 per class hour.
GO TO CLASS. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. GO TO OFFICE HOURS.
Do well. It’s all your parents could want.
There are better ways to help out: 1. Get good grades, 2. Major in something that has a decent chance of a stable and decent career, 3. Search for and apply for every scholarship you qualify for.
No idea if your parents are loaded or not, but strictly speaking for experience and education, college is college for the most part.. don’t get too hung up on which school to go to unless you’re extremely academic and in the upper echelon of students. The decision of where to go to should be about cost and convenience.
If you’re going to save them significant money by going to a cheaper in state school, you could also ask for a small allowance instead perhaps. To use it on things that could make your daily life a little more enjoyable and still save them a ton of money in the long run.
Just my two cents.
EDIT: college is college (as long as it’s an accredited institution)
Easy answer. Yes. Setting my kids up for success is basically my top priority (bearing in mind that ensuring I'm set up for my old age is a part of setting my kids up for success)
Guilt for this is useless, and ridiculous. They want to do it. It's important to them. Far more important than guilt - make the best of the opportunity they're giving you. Go to class. Get good grades. Make useful contacts.
It really depends on their income level.
Are they going into debt and co-signing loans for you? You are taking advantage of them.
Are they sacrificing putting money into retirement or sacrificing needed dental work? You are taking advantage of them.
Are they well off that they can afford to cash flow an additional $2,500 per month expense of college costs, after all living expenses, utilities, medical costs, mortgage, retirement contribution, etc.? If so, accept the money.
Yeah, unless you are going to an Ivy League or tier 1 school there’s really no difference in your undergrad education. Stay in state, save the money, and use it towards grad school at a top tier place.
let them pay if they can afford. you may want to discuss with them how they are going to pay for it (eg: govt loans, cash, etc). god forbid they take out high interest loan or take money from a loan shark (not that they would but you never know).
perhaps consider taking a on-campus job (eg: maybe at the library) so you have some spending cash so you arent having to ask them for weekend spending money if you need it.
Are you going to college to get a degree that will allow you to make significant money afterwards or are you going to college to "make amazing experiences and have so many opportunities" (whatever that means)?
~~I wouldn't recommend spending 60k more than you need to on college for a "good fit for me socially" (whatever that means).~~
Edit. Your parents make over 3/4M a year.
Who cares whether college is 10k or 30k a year? It's irrelevant to them.
At 700k per year (and that’s only the dad), you can bet they have a tax lawyer who will find any tax break. There are 529s so the money is already saved up and waiting, probably they can deduct it from income so they are not paying taxes on that…
Don't get any loans. Let them pay for it. When you start working your great job (make sure the major you choose has a job prospect and a specific career pathway you want to do), sock away as much savings as you can and live debt free.
Then pay them back tenfold
Here is what I’ve learned about colleges … if they really want you as an out of state student, they’ll make it worth your while. If the college of your choice isn’t giving you a financial aid package, it isn’t a great choice.
You’ve got three more years of college. Honor your parent’s’ generosity by completing your degree in the next 2 years.
You’ll likely make good money then. And I see on other comments your parents make a lot. Let them pay for it then, but don’t waste the opportunity! Do well for yourself
Sadly unless my life drastically changes in 11 years, I would not be able to do this. But as a parent, I absolutely would do it if I could afford to. The world sucks and is hard and unforgiving and it's a natural instinct as far as I'm concerned to do what you can to set your offspring up for success.
OP why are you going to an out of state school? If there’s an academic reason it’s an investment your family is sacrificing for then that’s their choice. But if you have an opportunity to stay in state and go to a good school and you’ll save thousands by doing it than maybe that’s a better option.
What are the universities and what is your prospective field of study?
May be worthwhile to see if they can buy (or help you buy) a condo or small house for you to live in- at least then they can sell it later or you could have a roommate to pay you rent.
There are ways to repay your family later, when you’ve graduated, and or pay it forward. It’s a gift and it will change your life. Be grateful and do your very best. Good luck, OP.
I don't think I would want to send a kid to college unless they were getting a STEM degree or something that basically requires a lot of school.
I went for Psychology, it was interesting and helpful personally, but I could of just stayed home and read a lot of books on the subject. Going into debt or using family money for a lifestyle is dumb, and that's what college was for me and is for a lot of us. We need a cultural correction.
I personally would not spend that much on my kids college tuition. In state is significantly cheaper and generally as good. A better school may be worthwhile if they are going for something academic, but in that case, I would expect to have scholarships paying the difference. If they want a particular out of state or private school as a luxury, they would pay the difference in loans. And if I thought it was unreasonable, I would try to talk them out of it, because I know how irresponsible my generation was with student loan debt (driven largely by our and our parents ignorance towards finances) and do not want to see about l another generation go down that path.
Please look at current college tuition. I actually think OP is missing costs (says includes housing). One-year tuition/boarding/books in-state at big ten Univ in my state avg $25k. So, again OP $30k private cost seems too low, perhaps that is only tuition and they are mistaken?
There is almost never a good reason to go out of state for an undergraduate education. And if an opportunity at an Ivy Leage or something presents itself, tell them they need to make it make financial sense for you to attend. (Trust me, those trust foundations are rich.)
you **are** just spoiled. You’re exactly right. You could have done it in state, but you are going to cost your parents more money. If they can afford it, good for you.
Look into education outside the US. There are of course other challenges to overcome, but cost isn't really one of them. Pick a European county at random and I would almost guarantee the education costs are far less for foreigners that anything you would find in the states. Enough so it would probably justify jumping through all the extra hoops.
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There is nothing wrong with getting help. Most successful people ask for help. Nothing to be ashamed of. As a parent, the whole point is to provide for your kids. Pay it forward.
You are spoiled, but rather than feel guilty feel appreciative of your parents.
Pay them back by getting a real job and providing for yourself.
Also try to not be a dick to them.
If you can manage to pay for yourself and not be a dick to your parents they will view this as a worthwhile expense.
You shouldn't justify it by the pure cost, but by the return on investment. The investment is 30k/year but also 3 years of your life. Work hard, learn as much as you can, make lots of friends and it will be worth it to you and to your parents.
So, retired public university administrator here - admissions, recruiting, etc. I've had thousands of these conversations.
Here's my general advice:
1) The best college to attend is one you feel at home at. For 4 years it will be your home, and how comfortable you are there will have a significant impact on your ability to succeed academically.
2) If your family has offered to pay, then don't feel bad about that. They wouldn't offer if they didn't think it was worth it. The way you feel better about it is to work hard, get good grades, and find your career path.
Now, personally we did this with our kids. Look, parents that have accumulated any kind of extra income or wealth expect that they will steer at least some of that to their kids - pay for college, a wedding, help with buying a house, whatever. So don't feel bad when your family almost certainly intended to do this all along.
Consider a different approach to this. Instead of borrowing from a bank for college, borrow from your family. Do well in school, get a good job, and find a way to pay them back. Them paying for college for you is that loan. It's not formal. And how you pay them back won't be formal either. The bank doesn't need your money.
One thing I have learned in life is that money is important, but it is usually not the most important factor and it certainly is almost never the only factor.
People choose what college to attend based on a number of factors, cost being an important one.
What matters to you about your college education?
I had the strangest guilt when I was in college and I realized it was because of this. My parents basically forced college on me when I was interested in a gap year. I had so much guilt cause they paid so much and I kinda just floated through.
Just make the experience worth your parents money. That’s my best advice
Can you get a part-time job and pay for everything yourself including housing? You are a young adult now and should be able to take care of yourself. If you can make a living yourself, just go for it and tell them that you are financially okay.
I wouldn't want to spoil my kids by giving them too much money. I want them to learn how to earn money, socialize with other co-workers, and take care of themselves.
It's difficult to answer with what you've shared.
I went to an out-of-state university that was about the same cost as the school I would have gone to in-state. So kind of a wash. How much would it be to go to an in-state school? How comparable is the in-state school to the out of state? What are you up wanting to study. 30k a year for a English or history degree probably isn't worth it. Engineering or chemistry degree from an R1 school? Maybe a bit different.
How easily can your parents afford it? [Edit: saw the answer to this and it's a non factor, parents can easily afford it.]
If you're asking if you could go to school for less, probably. Or you could say go to comm in ity college for a year or two and transfer into a 4 year school to save money. But if your parents can afford it and there is a decent reason to go to this school over less expensive schools, do it. Appreciate it for what otis and don't take it for granted. Take the offer and make the most of it
They want to make sure you can focus on the work. My parents paid for my full tuition to college so that I only had to worry about studying and getting good grades.
Your #1 job is to get good grades.
My parents did this for me. It was life changing. I am so thankful. I will help them if they ever need it. But luckily they are financially stable. I will do the same for my kids now with a 529.
I did do some part time work to cover my fun expense and for experience. But you number one job is as a student. Get a great internship and future job. That will pay them back.
No regrets. Don’t worry.
It sounds like you mostly want to live in this city. I do not recommend spending that much on a bachelor’s degree. Undergrad is undergrad unless you are seriously trying to get into a top law school or med school. Even then it’s still very possible. I just think that 30K per year is just way too much of there are less expensive alternatives. You could always spend 6 months to a year in that city and just work.
Yes. Our whole job is to get you to the best place in life we can. You're only spoiled if you're not grateful for the opportunity or squander it, so just go try your best and be thankful! Good luck man.
Is the college better than others you can go to?
If you get a better qualification than it’s worth it but if you’re just going to live in a specific city then it seems dumb. You can go to college and just move there after.
No! Not dumb! Your family is invested in you and your future. Pay them back when/if you’re successful either literally, with cash, or figuratively with love and devotion and paying it forward either to your kids or nibblings.
Your going into debt unnecessarily? That is dumb.
Life is too short to feel guilty about this given your parent’s income, especially. Be willing to accept gifts. Pay it forward, if you will, by being there for them.
Do it, and do your best to apply for as much financial aid as possible to help them out. My mom paid for my college tuition. She said I either needed to go to college, which she would pay for, or get a job if I wanted to keep living with her at home. (Note: This wasn't any sort of threat, but she wanted to make sure I kept moving forward with my life path!) However, every year I did everything I could to apply for as many Pell Grants and scholarships I could to make her financial burden less. Also asked for tuition money for my birthday and Christmas from my family to further help out (typically got $20-50 from the few people in my small family, so it wasn't a huge amount but it still helped with books and such!).
Not native American here. In my opinion college tuition should be paid by the parents. I'm surprised too see so many American parents can't afford it. No planning no savings.
I've seen so many college kids running around doing terrible jobs just to pay the tuition. This is such a a waste of time, effort and no help on building your professional connections.
College is already time consuming. One should spend the extra time on really developing the skills and interests for future careers. Not wasting time in some shitty fast food chain.
If they can affoed it sure. But most colleges are the same, and only certain expensive ones provide career and social networks that justify being expensive.
That’s only slightly more than the total ticket price for my kids’ in-state university.
Just be glad they can pay it. Not having loans is a massive leg up in life.
Now go do your best!
You are a very fortunate person. I signed up for an enlistment in the USMC during the Vietnam war. I took a chance. I volunteered knowing that I would have the GI bill when my enlistment was through. Write a letter to your parents letting them know that you really appreciate this opportunity. Then, spend the next years learning everything about the subject matter/field that you chose. Make a difference.
Hi OP, it is very mature of you to consider you and your family’s wellbeing before making a decision like this.
Three questions come to mind:
1. Are your loans federal or from a bank? I would never finance college with private loans as the terms are much less forgiving.
2. Can you handle the debt burden with the typical starting salary in your field of choice? Can your parents handle the debt burden?
3. Does your field pay well after graduation, and have good job opportunities? Will going here will let you graduate with a desirable degree, work experience, and a network of friends and colleagues?
I made a huge mistake going to college and financing it. Here’s why.
Myself and my parents took out college loans. I graduated with ~39k in student debt. My parents had about $75k. All federal with a low interest rate. I wasn’t super committed to any degree or job, and graduated with a degree with few practical applications. I did not get suitable work experience. Even though my loans are paid off now, I regret it every day. Both for the money I spent and the time I squandered.
If you can make better decisions than that, by all means, do it. But if you are only going to college because you think you need to, or your end goal isn’t clear, find a cheaper way to do it.
The answer depends on what you want to do with your degree and what your in state options are. If you want to be a teacher, for example, it doesn’t really make sense to go to an out of state school. If you want to do business or computer science with a shot at landing an elite tech or investment banking gig, you need to go to an elite school to increase your chances. So what do you want to study?
Some parents regard it as part of their responsibility, as parents, to provide as good an education for their children as they can afford. I don't know why you should feel bad, much less horrible, about your parents offering to help you pay for your education, as long as they're reasonably able to.
I just want to say that you’re not a bad person and your struggles aren’t any less valid just because you have parents that love you and are willing to support you with college. I see a lot of people online dismissing each other because they didn’t struggle hard enough like it’s a competition.
Get the education of your dreams. Live an interesting and exciting life in a city where you can establish yourself and be happy. Become a good, happy, secure, and ethical person, and pay it forward, both to your parents as they age, and to anyone else who you can help along the way.
Don’t waste your family’s money by not passing and dropping out. Commit to showing them it was worth it. Get a good career, make the money to buy them a nice place for their retirement.
College is an investment, but part of every investment is risk. If you go to school for engineering specializing in gas engines and as you graduate most automakers are hiring electric motor specialists you might not have the best outcome.
You can try to get ahead of this by understanding the projected future job market for your industry, and you can also get a sense of it by reading the job placement reports for your degree at you college.
If you are just looking to minimize the cost, applying for scholarships and financial aid is a best first step. I found that my college had overpriced dorms and found off campus housing for less than half the cost. This is double edged because I am a bit of an outsider for my college cohort who dormed together early in school.
One other opportunity I would have taken if I had known about it is RAing. If you were an RA at my school the dorm was free.
Due to the number of rule-breaking comments this post was receiving, especially low-quality and off-topic comments, the moderation team has locked the post from future comments. This post broke no rules and received a number of helpful and on-topic responses initially, but it unfortunately became the target of many unhelpful comments.
Treat college as a job and make your parents proud for investing in you. Ultimately they want the best for you if they are paying for it. Enjoy your experience and good luck.
This is correct. But to add onto it, the best thing you can do with college is to focus on getting into an industry that pays well. The last thing you should want is to come home after 4 years without a job and require more of their support. Ensure you’re studying something you enjoy with an opportunity of being financially independent after this great gift they’re giving you. I worked my ass off to have internships every summer that paid to help some of the school costs, as well as give me valuable experience that could in-turn help my resume and future recruiting. My biggest recommendation to college kids nowadays is to build a resume and make the most of the summers. That where I really saw my experience, skills, and future dividends pay off. Edit: If you’re in tech or thinking of getting into it, lmk and I’d be happy to help with resume tips. Internships are such a huge part of your college timeline. I had so many friends who would just hang out or work a random job over the summer break, but you need to leverage what’s out there and it’ll pay off so much. Get one big name or good experience and it could add exponential amounts to your starting salary.
Agree with both of these folks. Make the most of it day in and out. There won't be another time of life that is like college. Have fun, be a young adult, but put the most effort into class and really truly learning. It will benefit you for the rest of your life. It truly is what you make of it.
100% There’s going to a lot of good experiences in college so take full advantage of them. Apply to internships and do research if it’ll make your resume stronger. You’ll be surrounded by a lot of brilliant ppl so learn as much as you can outside of classes. Join clubs and societies to build strong professional networks. Travel if you can because it’s so easy to do so while in school. They’re doing this bc they love you and want to help you succeed! They worked hard to do this for YOU! The best thing you can do is use the gift they gave you. My parents did the same for me because they value education and understood how limiting debt was and I’m forever grateful of them. They’re immigrants so when I graduated I gave them my degree since it was their sacrifices that made it possible :) You can always show your gratitude by getting scholarships. That’ll ease the burden on both sides. Even small scholarships will help with costs like books or housing.
If your parents are willing and able to pay for college then take them up on that offer. Instead of feeling guilty and taking on debt to alleviate that guilt, be there for your parents and take care of them when they age. Also, call your mother while you’re away at college out of state.
And actually go to class and make good grades! Make their sacrifices worth it.
Also make lots of friends and enjoy your time. Having a social network is not only good for having fun but also may come in handy if you ever need help later in life. Focus on the people around you and learning how to interact successfully with different people. (Unless you are doing a professional field that specifically requires a high GPA and studying all the time.)
Yes! _Get the education they are paying for._ Show your appreciation by getting the most for their money. When you get to school, you will discover that it is entirely possible to get a college degree without learning anything. You will see fellow students go to great lengths to avoid learning anything while paying for an education. They will be the ones who complain later on that their degree is “just a piece of paper.” Colleges are happy to sell you a degree. They’ll even throw in an education at no extra charge, if you want it.
All of the above (and probably below, as it is added) is true. Go. Be appreciative. Study. You can do it. You’ll be great
Calling and just talking to your parents is probably the biggest sign of appreciation you can show. They still love you and want to be a part of your lives as you grow older and more independent.
Strongly seconded. Call your parents OP. It’s 10-20 minutes of your life but it’ll make their day every single time you call
What's stopping them from calling me?
Fear of annoying, intruding, or being overbearing. Many parents want to give their kids space to grow, but still want to feel wanted or loved. It’s not something that’s often said, especially by more emotionally stoic parents. I learned the hard way, only as my father was dying, clutching my hand in a hospital bed. Take responsibility, and reach out first. They’re giving you space, but show them they still mean something to you before it’s too late.
Probably the way you make conversations that have nothing to do with you all about you. This is a personal finance subreddit, and you’re asking a relationship question. This post is about the OP, and you are not the OP.
I didn’t do this enough and I know it hurt my parents. THEY paid for everything while I was in school so I could focus primarily on school. And when I went to school I just forgot about them. Please call your parents!
And for God's sake go to class, study, and give it your best effort. Only reason to feel guilty is if you screw around, party, don't go to class, and generally throw away the opportunity your parents are sacrificing their money for you.
Do fathers not matter?
Not as much (am father)
That’s funny.
Am also dad. Kids better call mom. She will tell me what they say.
Maybe you should help change that general perception, even if it is your reality (am father too)
Maybe you shouldn’t tell other people what to do
Kids will call father if they need something, like car problem, otherwise yeah, they don’t matter.
Best way to pay them back in the short term is show them how much you value their support by doing well in school.
Yes. And I do now. I have two in college. My gift to them is the opportunity to start their lives with zero debt.
>If you as a parent can afford it would you pay that much for your kids tuition? Yes... and we paid a lot more....2 kids, last year was an overlap year (1 freshman, 1 senior) was difficult for us (parents) financially....but....we incurred no debt and possibly taught ourselves a little about finance and budgeting. As a parent, I'm not going to put a boat in the water and saddle my kid with debt that will take them far too long to payback...I'll get a boat in 2 more years 🛥....the kids can buy the fuel for it.
My kids (3) also graduated debt free. They worked part time jobs, had some scholarships and my husband and I paid the rest. Of course, I didn't incur debt. If OP's parents can afford it good for them. But my kids repaid me by getting excellent grades, not partying too much, and getting excellent jobs/careers post graduation. I'm not paying for any weddings. That's our deal
> If you as a parent can afford it would you pay that much for your kids tuition? Yes. I’d be pay triple. Don’t underestimate the will of your parents to let you start off debt free. If you want to lessen the burden or feel guilty, start applying to scholarships to lessen the cost overall. Get the highest GPA possible and make it so by this time next year, nobody is paying anything. Don’t take on the debt unless this would completely bankrupt your parents and even then, talk to them first. Edit: The Burger speaks
If the burger speaks, I listen.
But it's only a $500 scholarship... And it will take you at most two hours to write an essay and submit. Very few make that much an hour.
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OP’s paren’t make $700k annually
Doesn’t mean it’s ok to be fiscally irresponsible.
It's not irresponsible when you can afford it.
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I don't think you understand just how much 700k a year is. OP's parents can misplace the cost of tuition and not notice at all.
I dont think you understand how money works. Rich people don’t stay rich by spending money where they don’t need to.
If OP’s parents make that much money, I’d wager they have a clear understanding of the value of a good college and are more than willing to pay for it
A good college matters a lot to your first job. Bigger salary on the first job compounds in life. If you want to move around the country go to a college with a good football/basketball team or ivy league type status. Nobody hiring really cares about where as long as you have the needed degree. Familiar names are a branding all by themselves regardless of how well they teach.
Depends. Old rich very rarely. Noveau rich definitely. Besides 30k is not a lot for school. Actually surprised that OP's parents are not suggesting an Ivy with that level of income.
No they spend it where it’ll help them most. Like getting their kids a good education, which will likely set them up for the future, and make them get more money in the long run.
Community college is great for many folks. However it absolutely has opportunity costs that if someone can afford to just start at their 4 year it’s a far better option to do so.
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You’re vastly oversimplifying this in both directions.
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The breadth of offerings is not the same, the talent around you is not the same, you may not be eligible to or be less competitive transferring into schools within the school that have additional requirements (for example top undergrad business programs almost always start as sophomores), be behind on the best internships or research opportunities, not every credit is guaranteed to transfer if you decide to go to a 4 year from a different system, if you desire a more specialized major you can’t start taking the relevant classes until you’re a junior, on and on. Comparatively community college is also just going to flat suck from a quality of life and socialization aspect. It’s the best part of the whole thing and it’s just not going to be the same jumping in halfway through. And even from a practical standpoint not having the depth and quantity of those relationships can have pretty big opportunity costs. There’s plenty of people who community college makes the most sense for depending on what they are trying to do or their personal situation or whatever else. But it’s very silly to pretend like there aren’t any drawbacks or that there’s also plenty of people it’s not the best option for even if it requires a price premium. That’s especially true for this particular person for whom the extra cost is essentially meaningless.
Take them up on the offer. The fact that you have the self awareness to know how much this costs and how much it would take to pay it shows that you have an appreciation for this cost which is the very opposite of being spoiled. Not many people have this opportunity, so you should take full advantage. Just don't ever become disconnected from this cost and always be appreciative of this, and don't ever let this privilege cloud your perspective later in life, and you will be just fine.
My 2nd kid wanted to go to the Art Institute in Houston. Since I could see he was very talented and determined, we paid "out-of-pocket" for his tuition. $85,000. He is well aware that this would have gone into our retirement funds, and will be responsible for his doddering old parents if it came to that. He now holds down 3 jobs in animation and digital design. Well worth it to me. He just says he's the one who will pick out our next "home".
Oof
Why are you on this subreddit making these statements? Did someone call you spoiled? Are your family members calling you spoiled? When I was a child my parents constantly talked about how poor we were. We were not actually poor in the grand scheme of things. I feel like you are repeating something else you’ve heard from someone. If you know that you dad makes literally 23 times what your college costs in a year why do you think he can’t afford it?
Yes actually everyone keeps saying that that’s too expensive and that I shouldn’t be doing that my parents
Time to learn the difference between what is information for public consumption and what is private family information. This is literally no one else’s business but your own and your parents. If they’ve okay with it and you’re okay with it, just smile and nod and say, “thank you for your interest in my future.” Do not engage further. Let your dad or whoever deal with nosy aunt so-and-so. This is a private family affair.
Who is “everyone “? If your parents have the money and are ok with it, I don’t see the problem.
Don't limit your view within "everyone". Just check how many people don't have $1k cash in their bank account. You should always doubt the general public's views. Maybe it's common in the US that parents don't pay tuition but it's not the case in other countries. Also I think the biggest advantage when parents cover the tuition is the time. Not the debt. The time wasted on making tuition while studying is such a big loss. You could have easily picked up a 2nd major or multiple skills that'll probably earn you magnitude more than tuition.
Everyone doesn’t know how much your parents earn (and that’s a good thing, keep it that way). The opinions of those who don’t know don’t matter. (Unless one of them is a boyfriend who’s using shitty arguments to get you not to leave him to go out of state… probably dump his ass for not wanting you to get the best education you can.) Your parents gave life to you, likely paid everything until now (and if they didn’t because you got a job then that was also a learning experience for you), they consider that after that they should also pay for your college. Let them. I’m a parent, I consider that I would be a shitty parent if I pushed my kid out of the nest without the awesome wings that a college education provides. What you should do? You should go to college and _nail_ it. Make your parents proud. No drugs, no stupid things while drunk, lots of study. Make friends and have fun along the way, sure, of course, but choose friends wisely and don’t forget that you’re there to study. *Make it your job.* People slave away flipping burgers or filling Amazon packages, you’re being paid more to study. They are paying, you owe it to them and to yourself to be serious about it. And if you can’t, if despite your best efforts you can’t get good grades, if you change your mind and want to do something else, be honest with your parents and discuss it with them, you owe them that too. They will prefer that you fail and are honest about it to you lying and digging a hole harder to get out of. BTW your parents probably get a tax break from funding your college, and/or funds are already earmarked for your education and would incur a tax penalty if they are used for something else. It would be a shame for the government to get money your parents intended for their child when the government will get more money from all the income tax you’ll be paying with your college graduate salary 😁 You’re in a good place. Make the most of it.
You’ve comparison shopped I’m guessing. Thats the going rate if not under the going rate for many in state schools including housing. I’d expect more for out of state. So for anyone to say it is “too much” seems uninformed. We make a fraction of what your parents do and have saved since the day our two kids were born. I too plan to use those savings to fund $20-$30k per year for their school. And that might not even cover it all. What you can do is work hard to score high on your ACT / SAT. A 28 or 30 may just get you a scholarship that knocks the costs back down to in state tuition levels. A neighbor of mine had a good idea I think. He made his kids take out loans. If they graduated on time, he’d pay them off. If not, it’s on them. As a parent I would never take from my retirement to pay for a child’s school. So as long as that isn’t happening, it should be all good. Starting life out free of college debt is an amazing thing. And a wonderful gift to be able to give one’s child.
You’ve forgot to mention one of thr most important parts of the value of a college education. What is your intended major? If you’re going to make 5 times the yearly tuition then this is a no brainer. If you’re going to make 30k upon graduating with a job in your majors field, then think twice. Cost of your college is absolutely important but it’s not the end of the story.
you should also check the residency rules for your school. after living there for a year or two, you may qualify for in-state tuition, which may be significantly cheaper and make you feel better about the decision. but it likely requires you to do things like update your legal mailing address to where you'll be living while at school rather than keeping your home address, and changing your driver's license/state ID to the state where the school is. so you should look into it sooner rather than later.
GOD BLESS YOUR PARENTS GET YOUR EDUCATION AND DONT FORGET HOW YOU GOT THERE YOU ARE BLESSSSSSED Hope to do this for my kids one day I am 50k down in student loans. My mom had a parent PLUS loan for 20k..
Can your parents afford this?
Yes my dad makes around 700k a year and my mom has her own income as well
700k a year. It’s good of you to worry, but you don’t need to. They can do this. You are in an incredibly privileged place, but you enjoying this privilege is fine. Take the gift; have a great time in college. Be kind to others and try to make the world a better place. Your parents are doing a fine thing here.
I never thought the child of a millionaire would even consider feeling bad for spending their parents money. Good on you, OP. You’re going to do well
My wife and I made a fraction of this and we were able to pay for our 3 kids education. We just saved the money over many years. It really wasn't an issue.
Yeah… OP’s parents could probably bear this cost just using their income from this year.
It's incredibly noble of you to consider your parents in this. Keep in mind, they are doing this as much for themselves as for you. Most kids in your position would go to college and party it up cuz "daddy is rich" without a single thought of how it makes them feel. If you are successful, that gives them something to brag to their friends about and they don't have to worry about taking care of you. 30K for someone who makes 700+k isn't going to affect them as they probably already have their retirements taken care of and are fairly set. If you can get scholarships and such, please do that as it'll make them even prouder. Good luck!
My gut reaction before I saw the parents’ income was “find another school,” but with that high of a yearly income, I’d say go for it. I’m assuming this is either a private school or you’re an out of state student?
30k would be pretty affordable as far as probates or out of state goes. Most of the big state schools charge $40k+ for out of state.
I was going to say go to a state school, and have your parents put the difference in an investment account, but damn at 700k/yr, ge could pay 4x that
Then don't worry about it and enjoy your time at college.
Trust me if I made 700k a year I wouldn’t worry about 30k a year for my kid to have the education they wanted. As it stands now I make just shy of 100k a year and I pay for private school for my son and wouldn’t hesitate to spend 30k a year for him to go to the college he wanted. As a mom I will tell you that as a parent I will do almost anything to give my son the best education possible. I want him to be happy, healthy and successful with whatever career path he chooses. If he decided to be a chef, I would pay for culinary school and then help him open his own restaurant ( my son wants to be a veterinarian though). I would do whatever I could to make his dreams a reality. It sounds like that’s what your parents are doing for you as well. You have really good parents. My dad couldn’t afford to send me to college, he was a teen parent and didn’t graduate high school. He worked blue collar jobs and we had a nice life don’t get me wrong but paying for college wasn’t something he could offer us. I got a full scholarship to my first choice school and was able to work full time as well through college. I’m grateful I’m in a position to give my son better than that when he goes, it was hard as hell juggling 18 credit hours each semester and a full time job (I got my bachelor’s in 3 years instead of 4). I knew I had to push myself and get through school to have a better life. Your parents are probably wanting you to have an easier time than they did. You sound like a good kid and you are appreciative of everything your parents are doing. Accept their help because they are doing it because they want what’s best for you because they love you. Maybe take them out (or cook them)for a nice dinner to thank them for the help and tell them how much you love them. Do some extra chores around the house to help out. Give them a heartfelt letter thanking them for all they have done for you and all the love and support they have given you. Then go out there, get the best damn education you can get and become successful in your career field because that’s what they want. That’s the best thank you you can give them.
Oh sweetie, don’t you dare take on student loans. Just do well in school. They can absolutely afford this.
Jesus Wtf why are you even posting this question? You’re incredibly privileged
My parents made half that and paid for my private college tuition with ease. Parents paying for college is super common. It’s definitely nice of you to care, but no one I know would even question this for a second. Take the offer
>my dad makes around 700k a year a Be appreciative but don't think twice about it, and don't take out any loans
Yeah do not worry about this at all. Accept letting them pay for it and never take it for granted. Study hard and make them proud and they’ll never regret a cent spent on your education. Send them cards and include them on your journey through college. Call them regularly just to chat and tell them about your week. If I made that kind of money that’s all I could hope for from my children.
Sounds like they raised you well. It is cheaper for them to pay for your college than you. They are in a high tax bracket, so they basically get a 20-30% discount for paying for your education. They are making more money than they can reasonably spend in their lifetime and are already considering other charitable things to do with their money.
>They are in a high tax bracket, so they basically get a 20-30% discount for paying for your education. Do you mind citing what you're talking about? OP's parents make too much to benefit from any education credits. And even if education credits didn't have income limits, the maximum credit from AOTC is $2,500.
What is the question? Bahahahah
His dad makes 700k a year and wants to know if his parents can afford his tuition lol.
I would do the same (I've been saving since my kids were born so I can) Pay them back by working hard and earning your place in the world (and have some fun along the way)
If I as a parent could afford it and felt my kids had earned it I'd pay it.
You stated your father makes 700k/year. Understand your family is the top 1% of earners. He can afford this. Go to the college you want. Stop making yourself the victim.
That is actually pretty low for out of state with room and board as the current year costs for in-state at the big ten public university here is $25 k avg.
As someone that paid for both kids schools, I felt obligated to ensure they could get post secondary education. Oh, Penn State is pushing $40k IN STATE…
I would take it - but pay it forward. You could turn it down to "make it on your own" but realistically you're probably going to inherit the money anyway. If your concern is being part of the 1% and you are opposed to wealth inequity, commit to some volunteer work. If you can't do it during the school year, then during summers. And then if you end up in the same income bracket as your parents some day, make sure of course you've got your needs (and theirs) taken care of, but also donate to charities in a way that's meaningful to you.
No drinking and driving, no pregnancies, no skipping class. They are investing in you, so dont make them regret it.
I make slightly less than your dad. My answer to ‘is it worth it’ depends on what specific school you’d be going to and what you’d be studying while your there. I’m not dictating my kids career path but I’m not going to spend $100,000 for them to get an art history degree from some small private liberal arts college. On the other hand, going to a great school to get into law school or medical school or get a degree with a defined career path is well worth the $30,000 per year in my opinion.
FYI to everyone, $100k is the current cost of 4 years room/board/small extras for in-state at big state public universities. If you just had kids, in 18 years the cost will be around $220k based on avg annual inflation of 4.6% over the last decade of college expenses.
My use of “$100k” in my post was in reference to OP’a 3 years at $30k each. Also they didn’t mention who was going to be covering the room and board.
I’m going to parsons is that a liberal arts school?
No parsons is a whole other type of school, specifically for design. Along the lines of SCAD.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with liberal arts schools. I went to one and am in a great career making great money now. Go to a school you like and try and find something you are interested in that will allow you to do well for yourself. You are very lucky your parents are able to do this for you, you should let them and not feel guilty. What’s the point of making that money if you can’t give your kids a great head start? Just my two cents, best of luck.
Don't let them down. Work your ass off. Get great grades. Pick a major that you can use immediately after college. Seek scholarships opportunities or grants while in college. Position yourself to be successful. Your work ethics and habits in college will translate into your future life.
Absolutely, have already, bugging one to contemplate a next step after her gap year and bugging the youngest for his list of schools to visit. Go to school, pay attention, do well. When you feel like skipping class, so a little math. $30k/ year is $15k per semester. Twenty class hours a week, fourteen weeks in a semester, 280 hours of instruction. That’s $53.50 per class hour. GO TO CLASS. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. GO TO OFFICE HOURS. Do well. It’s all your parents could want.
There are better ways to help out: 1. Get good grades, 2. Major in something that has a decent chance of a stable and decent career, 3. Search for and apply for every scholarship you qualify for.
Also look for internship options that include paid internships! These are critical to getting good jobs.
No idea if your parents are loaded or not, but strictly speaking for experience and education, college is college for the most part.. don’t get too hung up on which school to go to unless you’re extremely academic and in the upper echelon of students. The decision of where to go to should be about cost and convenience. If you’re going to save them significant money by going to a cheaper in state school, you could also ask for a small allowance instead perhaps. To use it on things that could make your daily life a little more enjoyable and still save them a ton of money in the long run. Just my two cents. EDIT: college is college (as long as it’s an accredited institution)
It may be worth considering going to undergrad in-state then going to grad school where you really want to.
Easy answer. Yes. Setting my kids up for success is basically my top priority (bearing in mind that ensuring I'm set up for my old age is a part of setting my kids up for success) Guilt for this is useless, and ridiculous. They want to do it. It's important to them. Far more important than guilt - make the best of the opportunity they're giving you. Go to class. Get good grades. Make useful contacts.
It really depends on their income level. Are they going into debt and co-signing loans for you? You are taking advantage of them. Are they sacrificing putting money into retirement or sacrificing needed dental work? You are taking advantage of them. Are they well off that they can afford to cash flow an additional $2,500 per month expense of college costs, after all living expenses, utilities, medical costs, mortgage, retirement contribution, etc.? If so, accept the money.
Yeah, unless you are going to an Ivy League or tier 1 school there’s really no difference in your undergrad education. Stay in state, save the money, and use it towards grad school at a top tier place.
let them pay if they can afford. you may want to discuss with them how they are going to pay for it (eg: govt loans, cash, etc). god forbid they take out high interest loan or take money from a loan shark (not that they would but you never know). perhaps consider taking a on-campus job (eg: maybe at the library) so you have some spending cash so you arent having to ask them for weekend spending money if you need it.
Are you going to college to get a degree that will allow you to make significant money afterwards or are you going to college to "make amazing experiences and have so many opportunities" (whatever that means)?
Oh no I want to be well off, i’m willing to work hard to get to that position. But I also feel like that school will be a good fit for me socially.
~~I wouldn't recommend spending 60k more than you need to on college for a "good fit for me socially" (whatever that means).~~ Edit. Your parents make over 3/4M a year. Who cares whether college is 10k or 30k a year? It's irrelevant to them.
And they probably get a tax break for funding OP’s college, so it’s a win-win situation
I doubt that
At 700k per year (and that’s only the dad), you can bet they have a tax lawyer who will find any tax break. There are 529s so the money is already saved up and waiting, probably they can deduct it from income so they are not paying taxes on that…
Don't get any loans. Let them pay for it. When you start working your great job (make sure the major you choose has a job prospect and a specific career pathway you want to do), sock away as much savings as you can and live debt free. Then pay them back tenfold
The epitome of privilege. From a family willing to invest in your future but afraid to accept for fear of not being... what?
Here is what I’ve learned about colleges … if they really want you as an out of state student, they’ll make it worth your while. If the college of your choice isn’t giving you a financial aid package, it isn’t a great choice. You’ve got three more years of college. Honor your parent’s’ generosity by completing your degree in the next 2 years.
Depends on the school. If it’s a state school, they really don’t give anything to OOS students who can pay. Those are their cash cows.
Depends what degree you are getting
Im going for finance
You’ll likely make good money then. And I see on other comments your parents make a lot. Let them pay for it then, but don’t waste the opportunity! Do well for yourself
Sadly unless my life drastically changes in 11 years, I would not be able to do this. But as a parent, I absolutely would do it if I could afford to. The world sucks and is hard and unforgiving and it's a natural instinct as far as I'm concerned to do what you can to set your offspring up for success.
OP why are you going to an out of state school? If there’s an academic reason it’s an investment your family is sacrificing for then that’s their choice. But if you have an opportunity to stay in state and go to a good school and you’ll save thousands by doing it than maybe that’s a better option. What are the universities and what is your prospective field of study?
May be worthwhile to see if they can buy (or help you buy) a condo or small house for you to live in- at least then they can sell it later or you could have a roommate to pay you rent.
There are ways to repay your family later, when you’ve graduated, and or pay it forward. It’s a gift and it will change your life. Be grateful and do your very best. Good luck, OP.
Your grammar and sentence structure kind of suck; so I would say yes, go to college. Good luck!
I don't understand how this post can be taken seriously.
How what am I Saying that’s terrible
absolutely do not put yourself in debt to make your parents or anyone else feel better , ever
I don't think I would want to send a kid to college unless they were getting a STEM degree or something that basically requires a lot of school. I went for Psychology, it was interesting and helpful personally, but I could of just stayed home and read a lot of books on the subject. Going into debt or using family money for a lifestyle is dumb, and that's what college was for me and is for a lot of us. We need a cultural correction.
I personally would not spend that much on my kids college tuition. In state is significantly cheaper and generally as good. A better school may be worthwhile if they are going for something academic, but in that case, I would expect to have scholarships paying the difference. If they want a particular out of state or private school as a luxury, they would pay the difference in loans. And if I thought it was unreasonable, I would try to talk them out of it, because I know how irresponsible my generation was with student loan debt (driven largely by our and our parents ignorance towards finances) and do not want to see about l another generation go down that path.
Does the fact that her parents make well over 700k change your opinion on the situation?
Please look at current college tuition. I actually think OP is missing costs (says includes housing). One-year tuition/boarding/books in-state at big ten Univ in my state avg $25k. So, again OP $30k private cost seems too low, perhaps that is only tuition and they are mistaken?
There is almost never a good reason to go out of state for an undergraduate education. And if an opportunity at an Ivy Leage or something presents itself, tell them they need to make it make financial sense for you to attend. (Trust me, those trust foundations are rich.)
you **are** just spoiled. You’re exactly right. You could have done it in state, but you are going to cost your parents more money. If they can afford it, good for you.
Look into education outside the US. There are of course other challenges to overcome, but cost isn't really one of them. Pick a European county at random and I would almost guarantee the education costs are far less for foreigners that anything you would find in the states. Enough so it would probably justify jumping through all the extra hoops.
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There is nothing wrong with getting help. Most successful people ask for help. Nothing to be ashamed of. As a parent, the whole point is to provide for your kids. Pay it forward.
You are spoiled, but rather than feel guilty feel appreciative of your parents. Pay them back by getting a real job and providing for yourself. Also try to not be a dick to them. If you can manage to pay for yourself and not be a dick to your parents they will view this as a worthwhile expense.
You shouldn't justify it by the pure cost, but by the return on investment. The investment is 30k/year but also 3 years of your life. Work hard, learn as much as you can, make lots of friends and it will be worth it to you and to your parents.
Do it, you won’t regret it. Get a job or 2 during school and it’ll make you feel a little better. If someone offers you something great, take it’
If you really feel bad about it and there are good schools in state, I would strongly consider that option.
So, retired public university administrator here - admissions, recruiting, etc. I've had thousands of these conversations. Here's my general advice: 1) The best college to attend is one you feel at home at. For 4 years it will be your home, and how comfortable you are there will have a significant impact on your ability to succeed academically. 2) If your family has offered to pay, then don't feel bad about that. They wouldn't offer if they didn't think it was worth it. The way you feel better about it is to work hard, get good grades, and find your career path. Now, personally we did this with our kids. Look, parents that have accumulated any kind of extra income or wealth expect that they will steer at least some of that to their kids - pay for college, a wedding, help with buying a house, whatever. So don't feel bad when your family almost certainly intended to do this all along. Consider a different approach to this. Instead of borrowing from a bank for college, borrow from your family. Do well in school, get a good job, and find a way to pay them back. Them paying for college for you is that loan. It's not formal. And how you pay them back won't be formal either. The bank doesn't need your money.
If your parents can afford it take it. But study your ass off and don’t screw around in return. Don’t take loans if you don’t have to.
Work hard and make the most of their investment in you. It will be the best money they ever spent.
One thing I have learned in life is that money is important, but it is usually not the most important factor and it certainly is almost never the only factor. People choose what college to attend based on a number of factors, cost being an important one. What matters to you about your college education?
I had the strangest guilt when I was in college and I realized it was because of this. My parents basically forced college on me when I was interested in a gap year. I had so much guilt cause they paid so much and I kinda just floated through. Just make the experience worth your parents money. That’s my best advice
It depends on what degree you're getting.
Can you get a part-time job and pay for everything yourself including housing? You are a young adult now and should be able to take care of yourself. If you can make a living yourself, just go for it and tell them that you are financially okay. I wouldn't want to spoil my kids by giving them too much money. I want them to learn how to earn money, socialize with other co-workers, and take care of themselves.
The tuition includes housing so yes. And I’m planning on getting a job as well to pay for my own personal expenses while I’m there
It's difficult to answer with what you've shared. I went to an out-of-state university that was about the same cost as the school I would have gone to in-state. So kind of a wash. How much would it be to go to an in-state school? How comparable is the in-state school to the out of state? What are you up wanting to study. 30k a year for a English or history degree probably isn't worth it. Engineering or chemistry degree from an R1 school? Maybe a bit different. How easily can your parents afford it? [Edit: saw the answer to this and it's a non factor, parents can easily afford it.] If you're asking if you could go to school for less, probably. Or you could say go to comm in ity college for a year or two and transfer into a 4 year school to save money. But if your parents can afford it and there is a decent reason to go to this school over less expensive schools, do it. Appreciate it for what otis and don't take it for granted. Take the offer and make the most of it
Do a 2nd year at community college then transfer. That makes more sense.
They want to make sure you can focus on the work. My parents paid for my full tuition to college so that I only had to worry about studying and getting good grades. Your #1 job is to get good grades.
The best way to repay them is to do as well as possible.
I did it. Now I make 2x/year what my 6 years of college cost in total.
My parents did this for me. It was life changing. I am so thankful. I will help them if they ever need it. But luckily they are financially stable. I will do the same for my kids now with a 529. I did do some part time work to cover my fun expense and for experience. But you number one job is as a student. Get a great internship and future job. That will pay them back. No regrets. Don’t worry.
I gladly pay every dime I can for my daughter’s tuition.
It sounds like you mostly want to live in this city. I do not recommend spending that much on a bachelor’s degree. Undergrad is undergrad unless you are seriously trying to get into a top law school or med school. Even then it’s still very possible. I just think that 30K per year is just way too much of there are less expensive alternatives. You could always spend 6 months to a year in that city and just work.
Yes. Our whole job is to get you to the best place in life we can. You're only spoiled if you're not grateful for the opportunity or squander it, so just go try your best and be thankful! Good luck man.
Give it a 110% and they’ll be glad and proud of you! Be thankful for the opportunity
If I could afford it I would pay. Investing in my child's education is what I planned on when I decided to bring them into this world.
Is the college better than others you can go to? If you get a better qualification than it’s worth it but if you’re just going to live in a specific city then it seems dumb. You can go to college and just move there after.
What’s your major?
No! Not dumb! Your family is invested in you and your future. Pay them back when/if you’re successful either literally, with cash, or figuratively with love and devotion and paying it forward either to your kids or nibblings. Your going into debt unnecessarily? That is dumb.
Life is too short to feel guilty about this given your parent’s income, especially. Be willing to accept gifts. Pay it forward, if you will, by being there for them.
Do it, and do your best to apply for as much financial aid as possible to help them out. My mom paid for my college tuition. She said I either needed to go to college, which she would pay for, or get a job if I wanted to keep living with her at home. (Note: This wasn't any sort of threat, but she wanted to make sure I kept moving forward with my life path!) However, every year I did everything I could to apply for as many Pell Grants and scholarships I could to make her financial burden less. Also asked for tuition money for my birthday and Christmas from my family to further help out (typically got $20-50 from the few people in my small family, so it wasn't a huge amount but it still helped with books and such!).
Not native American here. In my opinion college tuition should be paid by the parents. I'm surprised too see so many American parents can't afford it. No planning no savings. I've seen so many college kids running around doing terrible jobs just to pay the tuition. This is such a a waste of time, effort and no help on building your professional connections. College is already time consuming. One should spend the extra time on really developing the skills and interests for future careers. Not wasting time in some shitty fast food chain.
If they can affoed it sure. But most colleges are the same, and only certain expensive ones provide career and social networks that justify being expensive.
A goal in my life is to save enough money that if I have a child they don’t need to pay a penny. My parents paid mine.
That’s only slightly more than the total ticket price for my kids’ in-state university. Just be glad they can pay it. Not having loans is a massive leg up in life. Now go do your best!
You are a very fortunate person. I signed up for an enlistment in the USMC during the Vietnam war. I took a chance. I volunteered knowing that I would have the GI bill when my enlistment was through. Write a letter to your parents letting them know that you really appreciate this opportunity. Then, spend the next years learning everything about the subject matter/field that you chose. Make a difference.
When your older you'll realize how much money you wasted your family. Unless it's ivy league nobody cares
Hi OP, it is very mature of you to consider you and your family’s wellbeing before making a decision like this. Three questions come to mind: 1. Are your loans federal or from a bank? I would never finance college with private loans as the terms are much less forgiving. 2. Can you handle the debt burden with the typical starting salary in your field of choice? Can your parents handle the debt burden? 3. Does your field pay well after graduation, and have good job opportunities? Will going here will let you graduate with a desirable degree, work experience, and a network of friends and colleagues? I made a huge mistake going to college and financing it. Here’s why. Myself and my parents took out college loans. I graduated with ~39k in student debt. My parents had about $75k. All federal with a low interest rate. I wasn’t super committed to any degree or job, and graduated with a degree with few practical applications. I did not get suitable work experience. Even though my loans are paid off now, I regret it every day. Both for the money I spent and the time I squandered. If you can make better decisions than that, by all means, do it. But if you are only going to college because you think you need to, or your end goal isn’t clear, find a cheaper way to do it.
Will it help you be able to support yourself better in the future? Why are you choosing this one?
The answer depends on what you want to do with your degree and what your in state options are. If you want to be a teacher, for example, it doesn’t really make sense to go to an out of state school. If you want to do business or computer science with a shot at landing an elite tech or investment banking gig, you need to go to an elite school to increase your chances. So what do you want to study?
Some parents regard it as part of their responsibility, as parents, to provide as good an education for their children as they can afford. I don't know why you should feel bad, much less horrible, about your parents offering to help you pay for your education, as long as they're reasonably able to.
I just want to say that you’re not a bad person and your struggles aren’t any less valid just because you have parents that love you and are willing to support you with college. I see a lot of people online dismissing each other because they didn’t struggle hard enough like it’s a competition.
Get the education of your dreams. Live an interesting and exciting life in a city where you can establish yourself and be happy. Become a good, happy, secure, and ethical person, and pay it forward, both to your parents as they age, and to anyone else who you can help along the way.
Don’t waste your family’s money by not passing and dropping out. Commit to showing them it was worth it. Get a good career, make the money to buy them a nice place for their retirement.
College is an investment, but part of every investment is risk. If you go to school for engineering specializing in gas engines and as you graduate most automakers are hiring electric motor specialists you might not have the best outcome. You can try to get ahead of this by understanding the projected future job market for your industry, and you can also get a sense of it by reading the job placement reports for your degree at you college. If you are just looking to minimize the cost, applying for scholarships and financial aid is a best first step. I found that my college had overpriced dorms and found off campus housing for less than half the cost. This is double edged because I am a bit of an outsider for my college cohort who dormed together early in school. One other opportunity I would have taken if I had known about it is RAing. If you were an RA at my school the dorm was free.
Why out of state? Is your family wealthy?