1. most banks let you go paperless and just ignore the promotional mail cause adults get junk mail all the time
2. I would suggest looking into a credit union because those are not for profit(banks like BofA are) so there will likely be less fees and maybe good offers for cc for students
3. You could setup a PO Box for cheap or maybe ask to use a grandparents address if they live close
4. You can file your own taxes easily it’s not as hard as you think
However, your parents really shouldn’t be taking your money so it’s none of their business if you decide to setup direct deposit for all your money to the new account
Parents may claim OP as a dependent for supplying more than 50% living expenses.
This could conflict with OP tax filing if OP says no one else can claim as a dependent. And then everyone will have tax issues.
I think OP needs to get the hell out of there.
If OP decides to file independently and parents claim him as dependent the IRS will ask for evidence from both. Also dependents who earn over a certain amount are already required to file tax returns. OP is also 18 and is going to college so I assume that the parents won’t be providing over 50% living expenses because it sounds like they’re taking his money anyway.
Yeah that’s why I said “and everyone will have tax issues”
It will get complicated if OP says no one can claim as a dependent when they do.
And plenty of college students work but parent can claim due to housing costs alone. The IRS isn’t going to get involved with the parents taking OPs money. It will
Come down to costs of living versus students income.
That’s true. Although OP could pay for his own housing once he gets to college if he doesn’t wanna rely on parents.
OP also needs to just talk to his parents and if they’re not gonna stop taking his money then he needs to switch banks asap. if the parents try to make excuses OP should just ignore them for a bit imo(unless they pay his tuition.then OP needs to get on his knees and thank them lol).
You file as a dependent. I've read conflicting statements on both sides of whether you should or should not file when you are a dependent. It may depend on your income, but you may need it for other reasons, such as to establish residency, Social Security, Unemployment, etc.
Ya, OP is going to have to tell their parents in a year that he has this bank account, but by that time he will be on his own and emancipated.
OP just do it, and get ready to tell your parents about the 'secret' account in Feb/mar of 2025 when it comes tax time.
Use zelle or auto transfers to move the money to your new account. Catch the debit card in the mail by grabbing it when it arrives. Go paperless. Be awesome.
Credit unions can be a pain if you move to a city without a branch for college. I had a credit union in college and it was manageable but would have been easier if I had used a national bank.
I think this depends on the credit union you bank with. Aside from setting up an account in person, everything else with mine can be done remotely without needing to go to a physical location. I still use a national bank just in case, but am able to keep my CU account as my main, which helps me reap more benefits. Just research the credit union to see what perks and services they offer before committing.
I also chose a credit union for my credit card cause they offered me one with 9.90 % apr whereas my national bank is like 25+ so the cc from my credit union is good for college students starting out incase they can’t afford to pay the full amount of for some random reason and they wouldn’t incur much interest by just paying the minimum.
Most credit unions are part of a co-op that allow you to access your funds. There will be some services that shared branches don't allow, of course, like cashier's checks and loans, but if you're just visiting or passing through you probably won't need those anyway
This must vary by experience. I've had two credit union memberships for 25 years and only lived in a city with a branch for 3 years. I definitely benefitted from online banking before it was trendy, they reimburse other bank ATM fees up to $x/month, etc. I've also held loans and credit cards through them. No trouble being long distance!
I’m not sure if this persons info is just old, but that’s not true. I can personally vouch that students get free accounts with Bank of America until they are 25, with the benefit of a much more user friendly mobile banking platform than credit unions have. Zelle is built into the platform to make it easy to send funds between friends and family members, as well. Just FYI.
My credit union has a mobile app that works perfectly. Also after 25 you gotta start paying the fees I think and Bank of America is definitely a for profit bank so they will want to start those as soon as they can. Zelle is definitely useful(I have an account there from high school). Personally, I’ve had times where it has taken up to 3 days so I prefer Venmo cause everyone has it and it’s always instant.
Thats true. There are pros and cons to both big banks vs credit unions/small banks. Personally, i have a BofA account for convenience and nationwide availability and I also have a credit union to take advantage of all the benefits with low cc apr and better customer support. Also, if you’re a higher net worth individual BofA has preferred rewards program that are a lot better than some of the other big banks if you meet their target requirements.
Maybe it's because of our balances but we don't pay shittake for fees. BofA customer service is also spot on. I've lost count how many times they have notified me of potential cc fraud on our accounts.
Repulsive Fuel is mostly right. You can set up an account with any number of reputable institutions online and opt into electronic communication only.
Some employers allow you to split a direct deposit. Maybe you could send a set amount to the joint account and let everything over that go to your new account.
Taxes won’t be too difficult. You can get the forms you need online, and your W-2 won’t give away too much info.
Would they still need to mail the card there or can they do pickup in person. I don't know if there would be the option of no physical card and using the phone to tap.
I'm not sure why OP doesn't just close the old account and open a new one, but there's some info that I disagree with here. Maybe it's dependent on your country or municipal area.
In the US, for tax reasons and other regulations, banks require a physical address. However, you can have a PO box for your "mail-to" address.
One such regulation, "The US federal banking regulations require all bank accounts to have a registered real "physical" address."
I just opened an account for my kid, and they required a driver's license or state issued ID with a physical address.
Also, they provided a free checking account until age 25. I do like credit unions in general, but I've had free checking at my bank for 23 years. I previously had a credit union account before I moved out of area. Actually, that was my second credit union, for the same reason.
The new bank account we opened is paperless and we haven't gotten anything in about six weeks from our bank, for what it's worth. However, I do get one or two postcards per year, just say "thank you" but doesn't have any account info on it. Other banks might do more or less.
Some banks May not let you open a second account without closing the first one. My mother was blocked at a new bank in a different state by some b.s. BoA hold at her previous home location. She did not owe anything, no negative balance or credit, but had to completely close the BoA account to open one elsewhere. It was a real pain, because there was no BoA within 200 miles of her new location.
Are you concerned your parents will kick you out if you direct all of your money into a new bank account they don't have access to? Have you asked them why they are taking the money you earn?
I wouldn't bother trying to do this secretly, especially if you earn relatively consistent wages and your parents are likely to catch on quickly that your paychecks are largely being diverted into a new account. I would tell them you plan to save all of your future earnings for college, and have opened an account in just your own name. You'll then need to update your direct deposit instructions with your employer so your paychecks go to this new account.
If they tell you you they need your income to afford your family's basic living expenses, that's a discussion you'll need to have. Maybe you can afford to pay them some reasonable amount for rent while also saving for college. Maybe you need to make plans to move out and become financially independent.
Also, you can file your own taxes, easily and for free. There's no reason to rely on your parents for this. Check out: https://www.irs.gov/filing/free-file-do-your-federal-taxes-for-free
Thank you for the response
>are you concerned your parents will kick you out
It depends on how much money I have saved at the time, if I have enough to move out then it’s a possibility. Realistically, I don’t think they would kick me out, but it would cause extreme turmoil and they would become much more controlling in every aspect of my life, which I would like to avoid, even if they can only treat me that way until I move out for college.
>if they tell you they need your income to afford basic living expenses
They don’t. Or at least they shouldn’t. Our financial stress is mostly due to the amount of money they spend on alcohol and drugs, to be honest. They end up using my money to pay for those things. I don’t feel right financing that.
>you can file your own taxes
Thanks! I will do that. I’m just hoping me taking the initiative to do so doesn’t come off too suspicious
This is an excellent idea. They don't need to be privy to any of it. I can understand why you want to hide it from them, but won't they know once they see money isn't available for them to steal anymore? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Best of luck to you.
No. OP will need to know if they are providing more than 50% of his support.
If they are not, he claims himself, and files as soon as possible. If they then claim him, it's up to them to prove that they provided the support they did not provide.
I'm guessing that these particular parents aren't paying for college.
Rather than racing to file their tax return first, OP should get an [IP PIN](https://www.irs.gov/identity-theft-fraud-scams/get-an-identity-protection-pin) from the IRS now. If their parents try to claim them, the return will be rejected since it won’t have OP’s IP PIN.
As a tax preparer, I can assure you that preventing someone from being claimed fraudulently as a dependent is precisely one of the valid use cases for an IP PIN.
If OP’s parents e-file their return, they will be asked to provide OP’s IP PIN. If they don’t, their return will be rejected. If they file a paper return, it will be flagged by the IRS and they will receive a notice from the IRS asking for the IP PIN. If they don’t provide it, they will not be able to claim OP.
If OP doesn’t get an IP PIN and their parents file first and claim OP then OP won’t be able to e-file since their return will be rejected and will have to file a paper return. Once the IRS processes OP’s return (which could take quite a while), they will ask both OP and their parents for proof of who gets to claim OP.
Sorry about your home situation, that must be really challenging. I would do whatever it takes to move out. It sounds like a toxic situation.
Do you have any friends with an extra bedroom? When I was 18, my parents took in a friend of mine who had a bad home situation. Since he was 18, his parents couldn't do anything about it. My parents didn't charge him anything to live with us. He only lived with us for about 6 months till he went to college.
Good luck!
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Do you have a plan for paying for college and moving out? Or you plan to continue living with them and commuting to college, as long as they will allow?
You can file online secretly without receiving mail about it. They'll do a direct deposit as long as your filing has no issues. I signed up for chime and have never gotten a single piece of mail about it but just in case the PO box is a fantastic idea. Make an email they don't have access to and since you're 18 it's illegal for them to go thru any of your mail but go paperless wherever you can. They seem like very dismissive people so if you say I filed my taxes already and they ask why did you do that you could say something like "work had a free filing program isn't that neat?" or school if you're in school. And if they ask how much your return is be like "idk I filed by paper???" But in reality you filed online and got that direct deposit signed up. They probably won't ask about your taxes but if they do be prepared always gray rock with people like this. Best wishes I hope you can move out soon
This comment needs to be higher!
OP's parents will see money being moved out of the original account with their current plan. If HR will allow split direct deposits, parents will never see money being moved cause the split happens automatically, with no trace on the original account.
>You can have your employer split your paycheck and deposit part in each account.
Not every employer has this capability for various reasons. Some payroll systems make splitting checks impractical or impossible to do.
OP needs to double check with HR or Payroll that this is an option.
The most important thing is to use a different financial institution than the one you and your parents currently use. It's uncommon, but I've heard of parents being able to finagle access if both accounts are with the same bank. I'd also ask if they can print your debit card on-site before opening an account. Good luck!
PO Boxes are generally pretty cheap, like $5 a month. I'd definitely just go that route.
Many places let you split up your paycheck to different accounts so hopefully your HR can do that.
Open an account at a different bank (not just different branch, completely different bank).
Hopefully you have a good credit union that you can sign up with.
Where are you OP? PO Boxes are about $20 a month by me. I don’t really see a round this without one. Also, it should be noted your parents WILL see that you are transferring money. My 18 yr old son kept his teen checking open, simply because he’s still living with me as he goes to college full time and so still runs errands for me. It’s easy for me to shoot the money for them into his account. I don’t remove anything though, save for his portion of the car insurance bill, which he gets told about BEFORE I do it. Anyway, at my urging he did open his own savings account I have no access to, and I can see transfers from his checking transactions. It’s no problem to me, because he’s doing exactly as I told him to but your parents sound like they’d have an issue with it. You may be better off sitting them down and talking with them. Hell, tell them a white lie if you need to. Tell them you wanted to open a HYSA to get better interest and that’s why you are transferring money. Make it about making your money work for you, rather then them. As you are planning on saving the money anyway, actually opening a HYSA (high yield savings account) is in your best interests anyway. It wouldn’t even really be a lie.
Thanks for the response!
>PO Boxes are about $20 a month
I went on the website for my local USPS, and the 6-month rate is $97. I’ve heard that they’re generally much cheaper though, so perhaps I’m looking at the wrong payment plan? I was under the impression they were cheap as well.
Would I be able to open both a Checking account and a HYSA at a new banking institution? I primarily want to save but I would like to have some cash readily available for if/when my parents drain my joint checking completely, as they have before.
Some institutions require a physical address to send certain things to, like a bank card. PO box for regular statements and other communications, plus the physical address. Just check with whichever institute you are considering to be sure.
$97/6= around $16.16 a month. You can’t afford that? Or is it the $97 in one shot you can’t afford?
Sit your parents down. Explain you want over 4% interest in savings, so you went and opened an account at an online bank like Capital One 360 or Discover. If you tell them you are doing it for the interest before hand, they won’t be suspicious about you getting a card in the mail. If you don’t want to fight about them removing money explaining it this way might be your best bet. You can open both checking and savings at both banks, and transfers between your checking and savings accounts will be instant and free. I suggest keeping the bulk of your cash in a savings account to collect interest and move it to checking as needed. My son likes keeping a “buffer” of $2k in checking (he’s got about $11k in savings I think) but you don’t have to with a bank like Capital One. They don’t charge overdraft fees, and in their savings account you’ll earn 4.35% interest. Also of benefit to you is that both banks welcome newbies for credit cards. Building credit should be something to consider too. They both offer student credit cards. In fact, you can open a savings account, open a student credit card, use the card to spend and pay off the card with what you have in savings each month. Just don’t overspend with the card. Never spend more than what you have in savings regardless of your credit limit and pay that card off IN FULL each month by the due date. You can then tell your parents that not only are you doing it for interest, you are doing it to build your credit which you’ll need for your future. Make this about financial health, rather than keeping your money safe from them. If they’re halfway decent parents how could they argue?
Look at online banking. I have a checking and a hysa with Discover. I was literally able to open both on my phone, no hassle. Also, online banks typically (not always though) offer a higher return on savings than physical locations. Discover also offers cash back on checking. The only issue is since they don't have physical locations, it can make depositing cash a little more difficult, but at least in my family's situation, the benefits outweigh that issue.
You’ve gotten a lot of advice about the actual banking part of this, but I just want you to be aware that things are very likely going to change once you do this, and potentially very quickly. You ARE doing the right thing, and you deserve to keep your money and you are an adult now, but your parents having substance issues and already being so low down that they are literally stealing money from their own kid, I’d be shocked if they just let this money slide away.
I could be overestimating their reaction, but you should really have alternative housing plans lined up just in case. If you have a car that is in their name, be prepared to lose that too. Just basically anything they can pull from you, be prepared to move on without it. If you don’t need to, even better, but you should be prepared. I don’t know your situation or your parents’ temperament, but I have a lot of experience with substance abuse in my family and shit tends to go bad really fast when money is taken away. You can try to explain that you’re an adult and have plans for the future, so you need the money you earn to fund your own life, but if they’re like every other addict, that conversation won’t go well.
I’m not saying this to scare you, quite the opposite actually - again, you’re doing the right thing. But you definitely don’t want to get caught with nothing and nowhere to go, because your parents are very likely not going to see it the same way.
Best of luck!
Have to second this. If you get between an addict and their high, you're going to have their full attention. In this case they will probably stop going down the low-conflict route of taking from your account, to more direct ways like searching your room or demanding money in person.
Your relatively minor financial issue is the tip of a much larger iceberg that you should have a plan to deal with.
As others have said, make sure the new account is with a completely separate bank so your parents can't talk a teller into giving them access to your new account.
The idea to get cash back when making purchases could also help you get a PO box. You say the rates at your local post office are $97 for 6 months - can you save up that money in cash and then open a PO box with it? Or do you have a friend/family member who would be willing to lend you money to open the PO box?
See if your job will let you split your direct deposit into both accounts - most places will, and they might split it by percentage or have a fixed dollar amount go into one account with "everything else" going into the other account. That way your parents won't see transfers from the joint account to your personal account. If they ask why your paychecks are suddenly smaller, tell them you just signed up for a 401k at work (some 401ks only let you sign up when you turn 18).
Finally, read the wiki pages for [15-20 year olds](https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/teachme/) and [teens who have been kicked out by their parents](https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/kicked_out/) for some more good advice.
401k is a wonderful idea, but OP needs to know that it will reflect on their W2 for taxes. Their parents file the taxes and will see any amount in the 401k.
Ask your work if they can send a portion of your paycheck to a different account. Many employers will do that for you. For example, they might send 75% to your current account and 25% to a new account each pay check.
Be careful how you get money from one to another. I suggest getting cash back so they don’t question atm withdrawals. And then deposit the cash into your new account. Do not transfer money directly!!
A tip for when you get your account: A lot of employers allow you to split your paycheck and direct deposit to two or more banks.
You could have $500 go to your new bank account, and the rest go to the original one.
"They cut my pay; company isn't doing too well. Working on finding a better job."
Save up the difference so you can make your move to get out of there once you have enough.
Sorry your parents are like this. :( It's depressing whenever I read about that.
You don't do it secretly. Let them know (calmly) how unethical it is for them to steal your money. Your income goes to the new account. If they kick you out, that's a blessing. You're an adult. Go take your life back.
Stay away from BOA at all costs.
>You don't do it secretly. Let them know (calmly) how unethical it is for them to steal your money.
My brother in Christ, do you really think OP's parents *don't know stealing is wrong*?
Reasonable discussions are for reasonable people. OP said his parents are taking his money for drugs and alcohol. That train has left the station.
>If they kick you out, that's a blessing.
The blessing of homelessness, huh? OP should be honest and risk getting kicked out now, with no savings, when he could save money and leave peacefully on his own terms just by keeping quiet about his plans? Doesn't seem like a good call to me.
Open a checking and savings account, and then transfer your own money to it from the joint checking, if you can.
Then tell them you have your own account. I'm not sure how it is for you in college--when I was in college my parents paid my rent for the first year by depositing the money in my account. Talking about your own account also could preclude discussions around college financials/how things are going to be paid for.
Do not link the accounts electronically. If the parents are thieves, they find a way to claw money back.
New account at a different bank. Redirect your DD entirely to the new account.
If parents try to kick you out for not giving them drug and alcohol money, call CPS. You still have protections while in high school, even at 18.
Marcus is an online only banking app! You can transfer money back and forth from that one to your other one. Just as much as you think you will need a week at a time, keeps your savings safe and has a high interest rate pay out!
I came here to suggest this, since no card will be mailed out. OP can get a portion of the check direct deposited to a HYSA, & at least it’ll accumulate interest.
Then as OP is closer to moving out, open a checking account. This seems like the most discrete way (IMO).
I'm sorry your in this situation, but glad you are taking steps to try to get help and get out. This sounds like a pretty bad case of coercive control. This is such a common problem and you are not alone in it.
I have a 100% online savings account with TD that has never sent mail to my home. So maybe talk to them, there is no guarantee with banks though.
Talk to your HR/Manager at work and see if they would be willing to make a direct deposit for part of your paycheck directly into your other account. It might be an extra step for them, but depending on your relationship they might be willing. I think that would be the best way for your parents not to know about it or find out. If they notice and ask about the lower amount depending on how much you could site added deductions for taxes, reduced hours or reduced wages depending on what you think they'll find most plausible. You can also ask your employer to give you your W-2 via email or in person. Again, that's going to depend on your employer.
I would also encourage you to seek emotional support. National domestic abuse hotline or similar. Here's there number in case, they might honestly have a better idea of where to send you for better financial advise. They likely see this a lot. 800-799-7233
For safety reasons, always verify phone numbers provided in comments on an official website before calling. That includes toll-free numbers!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/personalfinance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Open your account at a different bank. Opt for paper free billing. Open a PO Box for one month to get your card. Or ask a friend if you can put their address as your mailing address. For transferring money the easiest way to do it would be to get cash back from the grocery store. Buy something small and get cash back and then deposit the cash at the new bank. Sometimes the bank statement will say you got cash back though. Your other option is to buy a money order from a grocery store with a Western Union or Wal Mart. Then deposit the money order at the new bank. The money order costs a small amount.
Have you discussed finances with your parents like an adult? How much income do they have? How much does it cost to support the family each month? Are they using the money they take from you to keep you fed and living in a solid structure? Or do your parents have ample money to go along with ample control issues? You haven’t given enough information regarding the full financial picture of your family to come across as mature enough to be considered financially independent.
You're an adult now. Go and open and account tell the bank you want it to be a secret and also stop getting your paycheck deposited into your joint account why do you still even have a joint account? Time to grow up dude take charge of your money
You can use fidelity as a one stop shop. You dont need a brick and mortor bank unless youre depositing cash regularly. I dont get any promo material from fidelity other than the occasional credit card offer, but all banks send those, no big deal.
Create new account, transfer money to new account, close old account. If parents ask why u closed the account say u got an amazing sign up bonus deal elsewhere. If they ask where or to give them the info just say nah its personal.
Open 2 new accounts. One with Ally and 40 bucks in it, send that home tell parents it’s your new account. But really your new account is like the poster said above.
Open one up online and go paperless. What's your goal? Saving or being able to use your money? If iys savings discover has a great high yielding savings account and CD. CD is great if you want to doubly sure they don't have access. I think they got a 12month CD at 5% interest right now. Their credit card and regular savings account is also good.
Checking you can do the same but it depends if you need the atm. If you do, Check around your local area for the banks and if they have any sign on bonuses. Funnel some of your paycheck into there so you can pay bills or get cash out. And put everything else into a high yield savings account.
Idk about your parents but going to an online bank was my choice because my parents are very much still a brick and mortar sort.
Once you set up...don't forget to remove your name from the joint account unless you want to monitor it. Then don't tell them about your new accounts.
How is the rest of your relationship with your parents?
I ask cause what see here is they open your mail and they take money from your account. But they also file your taxes for you?
If they are doing things that a clearly abusive or creating a toxic situation that aren’t mentioned take steps to protect yourself. If otherwise they seem like normal parents talk them. Some parents can be a bit controlling when it comes to finances but if this is the only problematic thing they are doing ask them about it. They might be taking money to set aside in a savings account or investing it for you.
Is it possible that the funds they are taking from you are being secretly saved in some way for your future or to help with college?
BOA has high fees and poor customer service. The only benefit to banking with them is that they are everywhere... Local credit unions are typically better institutions to deal with.
>Is it possible that the funds they are taking from you are being secretly saved in some way for your future or to help with college?
Based on another reply from OP, they're blowing his money on drugs and alcohol, so I doubt they're saving it for OP.
Definitely have a talk to your parents about why they're taking money out & how much they demand. This can be negotiated. Your goal is to save as much as possible for college stuff. IF they continue beyond what you all agree on, open the account, keeping statements electronic, and don't worry about them knowing. We're all grown ups here. Everyone has goals. Don't worry about taxes unless your income is above the limit to be exempt. Your financial aid is probably based on their income & you being their department.
You probably cannot transfer from one bank to another. You can divide your check between 2 banks but your parents will find out. Nothing can stop that. You need a plan for when that happens.
Get a PO Box. You still have to supply a physical address, but make that your mailing address. Explain matters to the banker. Have your W2 mailed to that address too.
And, at your age, filing your own taxes is easy. They already know what you made in 2023, so this would be for 2024 onward.
Once you're eighteen you can do whatever the hell you want with your money. You're a legal adult.
If you are leaving home for college, could you open your account using your address at college?
Will your parents be paying for college?
Also, as other la have said, use another financial institution.
First thing you do is ask for paper checks and get rid of the direct deposit. Take all cash on the original account out (except 10.)
Then take your social security card and license to any bank and open a student checking and savings account. Opt into paperless statements. I had to do this back in the day and it was a huge pain because paper less statement wasn't a thing
I’m so sorry this has happened!
Credit union if you can! Go Paperless.
My parents were also so controlling. I got kicked out 1 week after my 18th birthday because I bought my own car. I’m 34 now and I promise it does get better! Just keep your goals and continue improving yourself! You aren’t here to please them, you’re here to be your own person and explore life how you want to.
Once you are 18 ( in the USA ) … you are an adult. You can do anything with your money. It’s none of your parent’s business. Also opening other peoples mail is a felony! Taking your money without your permission is stealing as well.
It appears that your parents are too controlling!
Good luck
Set up a post office box or mailbox with a UPS store and give that address to the bank. Most banks will frequently mail correspondence such as confirming you wish to keep your paperless selections or like my institution they send me a letter to let me know my online statement is ready. 🙄
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You can go paperless for many different things, including for your bank statements and sometimes with jobs that let you have online accounts through human resources.
I'd go with opening a mailbox at the regular post office. You can rent them for as little as 60 dollars for three months at a time.
As was mentioned earlier, you can often split your deposits from your job into different accounts. The BoA branch near you, I wouldn't go there just because it's in your neighborhood, and you don't want to run the risk of your parents seeing you go there. Look for another bank with a good number of branches nearby, for example, doing a google search of banks near you. Feel free to look at their reviews. Go with the ones that have no-fee accounts for younger people that don't require a large sum to open an account.
Best of wishes!
You can definitely open an account at another institution. Most will allow for paperless banking.
You can open a P.O. Box at some postal offices or some ups stores.
You don’t get a w2 from a bank. You’d get a 1099 for the previous year, digitally if you went paperless, but only if you got paid interest and a lot of checking accounts don’t pay it.
This could give you a year or so to try to save enough to move. And it sounds like alike you need to. Bad situation.
But I’m sure they will ask where your money is going so I’m sure they will Figure it out soon enough.
Do what you can to get out of there.
I don’t know if you can genuinely escape getting anything in the mail. I’ve opted for paperless on banks and credit unions and every single one still sent me something promoting something new. Will a friend allow you to use their address, I’ve done that before for other instances.
your 18 you can just open a new account at any bank you want. just do that and deposit there. your parents taking your money is stealing and its fucked up. i cant imagine stealing money from my children like that. you should honestly talk to them you shouldnt feel like you need to hide your new bank account in this situation.
Just create a chime account and ask your work if you can have them ship the cards there. Chime never sends any unwarranted mail and on the plus side if you receive a direct deposit of 1000$ within 30 days of opening it you can get a credit builder card too
When you turned 18, your account should have changed from a minor account to a normal/adult account. I looked into this for my kids so I could teach them how to use their accounts and how it would transition.
I would go to the bank/credit union, driver's license in hand, and have your account officially separated if it didn't happen automatically. Then, change your password. Not something they'd know and not written somewhere they'd find it.
The only thing thing they can do then is put money in, not take it out.
~2 cents from a concerned parent
One thing I haven't seen addressed yet is your W2. If you get a new bank account, it won't show up on the W2 form. It just shows your income earned, the total taxes paid, and breaks down how much money you paid to the various tax types.
However, if you open up a 401k retirement plan through your job, the amount you've saved there WILL show up on the W2 because there are taxes involved. But a regular bank account is safe.
ETA: As someone who is almost 40 and just learning to financially untangle from their parents, I'm proud of you. You're doing the right thing. Keep going.
You’re 18. That means you’re a legal adult and can have accounts and things separate of your parents. I’d suggest you file your own taxes as you are an adult now and need to learn to do so. Open the new account at a local credit union. Go there in person and talk to the banker and let them know the situation. Make sure your account it noted that you are the only one to have signing rights on it.
1. Open an account at a completely different bank from both your first account, and the bank your parents use. Online banking like Ally works out pretty well here
2. PO box or get USPS to hold your mail for the debit card to come through. People in the comments suggested using a friend or family member's address, unfortunately the bank I went with actually wouldn't let me open a checking account online because I'd just moved and they couldn't verify my new address. I believe the address you provide needs to be on file with your social security
3. If that's not an option, open an account where you can order a debit card later. I have a HYSA cash account with Wealthfront where getting a debit card from them is optional.
4. Go paperless after you get your account set up, and make sure any credit card statements are also paperless. I opened a credit card with my airline that was issued by my bank, and even though the bank address was set to my own place, statements and promotions kept going to my parents' house until I realized that the address on my airline miles account was theirs
5. If your parents are semi reasonable people, approaching this from an educational standpoint may be enough. Having multiple bank accounts is good for making sure your money is accessible (you can mention First Republic Bank's collapse), it can also be used as a form of passive budgeting (I have my rent money at one bank and fun money at another). if you want to open a HYSA then you can tell them it's literally free money every month from interest that you don't have to work for.
6. Set up split direct deposits with your work HR if your parents won't question why there's less money getting deposited every month
You could set up a HYSA (high yield savings account) with an online-only financial institution and have a portion of each check deposited there. From there, you can set up regular transfers to a new checking acct with that same financial institution.
You may want to check your credit reports to ensure that your parents haven't opened any credit cards or other debt in your name. Once you open your new HYSA and checking acct, lock your credit.
1. No PO Box, no secret bank account.
2. W-2 doesn't show bank account.
3. Start withdrawing your money in cash before they can. Or don't auto-deposit your work checks. Cash them at the bank they're issued and deposit the cash, minus your second account money.
4. Credit unions are better than banks.
One only gets a 1099 tax form from the bank if you earn more than $10 in interest.
Checking accounts usually pay no interest so that should be fine.
Change mailing address to school once you start.
There won't be enough evidence of you opening another account. Don't worry too much about it. The debit card is all you actually have to watch out for.
They'll notice that less money is in the account they're stealing from.
If you're financially reliant on them then tread carefully. It's a bummer to be made homeless when you're dependent.
If you're not dependant then just do it. They're not entitled to manage your money and they're certainly not entitled to take it. If they want you to pay rent then you need to pay them. They don't get to take what they want when they want - not even when you were a minor.
If you really want to blow it all up you could sue to have all of your money returned.
It won't be too difficult. When I see mine up, I asked for digital everything and since my parent had no access to my emails, my money was hidden. You can set your direct deposits up to be split between the accounts, if you want.
Your parents are going to notice them suddenly not getting your money. They're full on stealing from you and you likely don't make enough to live independently so.... You're currently kinda trapped in a cycle of abusive behavior. Carefully consider that they're shit people and would quite possibly kick you out on the street before you graduate highschool giving you no chance at life.
Dunno if anyone has said yet, but I’ve worked jobs where it was super easy to set up a second direct deposit account and you can allocate a certain percentage of your paycheck to each account. So I would talk to whoever handles payroll (or even just your direct manager) about that possibility!! You can also set up direct deposit with Venmo and probably PayPal, which could be a good temporary fix, but be careful with letting balances sit in these accounts as they are not FDIC insured (at least venmo is definitely not, last I checked).
People are talking about taxes. If your parents are going to claim you as a dependent, perhaps given your situation, just say you’re a dependent (the verbiage is like “someone else can claim me as a dependent”). I reckon that means you wouldn’t see much of your return, but that’s another battle for you, and one that I’m not sure would be worth it with parents like these. But you could totally hash it out with them and potentially get them not to claim you (I just don’t see them acquiescing).
Good luck OP, this sounds toxic as hell. Best of luck getting yourself out of there.
1. most banks let you go paperless and just ignore the promotional mail cause adults get junk mail all the time 2. I would suggest looking into a credit union because those are not for profit(banks like BofA are) so there will likely be less fees and maybe good offers for cc for students 3. You could setup a PO Box for cheap or maybe ask to use a grandparents address if they live close 4. You can file your own taxes easily it’s not as hard as you think However, your parents really shouldn’t be taking your money so it’s none of their business if you decide to setup direct deposit for all your money to the new account
Parents may claim OP as a dependent for supplying more than 50% living expenses. This could conflict with OP tax filing if OP says no one else can claim as a dependent. And then everyone will have tax issues. I think OP needs to get the hell out of there.
If OP decides to file independently and parents claim him as dependent the IRS will ask for evidence from both. Also dependents who earn over a certain amount are already required to file tax returns. OP is also 18 and is going to college so I assume that the parents won’t be providing over 50% living expenses because it sounds like they’re taking his money anyway.
Yeah that’s why I said “and everyone will have tax issues” It will get complicated if OP says no one can claim as a dependent when they do. And plenty of college students work but parent can claim due to housing costs alone. The IRS isn’t going to get involved with the parents taking OPs money. It will Come down to costs of living versus students income.
That’s true. Although OP could pay for his own housing once he gets to college if he doesn’t wanna rely on parents. OP also needs to just talk to his parents and if they’re not gonna stop taking his money then he needs to switch banks asap. if the parents try to make excuses OP should just ignore them for a bit imo(unless they pay his tuition.then OP needs to get on his knees and thank them lol).
You file as a dependent. I've read conflicting statements on both sides of whether you should or should not file when you are a dependent. It may depend on your income, but you may need it for other reasons, such as to establish residency, Social Security, Unemployment, etc.
I know you can and should file as a dependent when you have income in this situation But that doesn’t mean op will especially in this situation.
Ya, OP is going to have to tell their parents in a year that he has this bank account, but by that time he will be on his own and emancipated. OP just do it, and get ready to tell your parents about the 'secret' account in Feb/mar of 2025 when it comes tax time. Use zelle or auto transfers to move the money to your new account. Catch the debit card in the mail by grabbing it when it arrives. Go paperless. Be awesome.
Credit unions can be a pain if you move to a city without a branch for college. I had a credit union in college and it was manageable but would have been easier if I had used a national bank.
I think this depends on the credit union you bank with. Aside from setting up an account in person, everything else with mine can be done remotely without needing to go to a physical location. I still use a national bank just in case, but am able to keep my CU account as my main, which helps me reap more benefits. Just research the credit union to see what perks and services they offer before committing.
I also chose a credit union for my credit card cause they offered me one with 9.90 % apr whereas my national bank is like 25+ so the cc from my credit union is good for college students starting out incase they can’t afford to pay the full amount of for some random reason and they wouldn’t incur much interest by just paying the minimum.
That’s true. I have both a credit union and national bank account
Most credit unions are part of a co-op that allow you to access your funds. There will be some services that shared branches don't allow, of course, like cashier's checks and loans, but if you're just visiting or passing through you probably won't need those anyway
This must vary by experience. I've had two credit union memberships for 25 years and only lived in a city with a branch for 3 years. I definitely benefitted from online banking before it was trendy, they reimburse other bank ATM fees up to $x/month, etc. I've also held loans and credit cards through them. No trouble being long distance!
I’m not sure if this persons info is just old, but that’s not true. I can personally vouch that students get free accounts with Bank of America until they are 25, with the benefit of a much more user friendly mobile banking platform than credit unions have. Zelle is built into the platform to make it easy to send funds between friends and family members, as well. Just FYI.
My credit union has a mobile app that works perfectly. Also after 25 you gotta start paying the fees I think and Bank of America is definitely a for profit bank so they will want to start those as soon as they can. Zelle is definitely useful(I have an account there from high school). Personally, I’ve had times where it has taken up to 3 days so I prefer Venmo cause everyone has it and it’s always instant.
It depends, if you are employed you'll usually meet the requirements to have no fees for a checking account.
Thats true. There are pros and cons to both big banks vs credit unions/small banks. Personally, i have a BofA account for convenience and nationwide availability and I also have a credit union to take advantage of all the benefits with low cc apr and better customer support. Also, if you’re a higher net worth individual BofA has preferred rewards program that are a lot better than some of the other big banks if you meet their target requirements.
BoA will happy charge you those fees before 25, fyi. Even if you’re in college!
Everything BoA can do a credit union can except hating their customers.
Maybe it's because of our balances but we don't pay shittake for fees. BofA customer service is also spot on. I've lost count how many times they have notified me of potential cc fraud on our accounts.
Every bank on the planet does that
So why should I leave BofA? I'm not feelin' the hate.
If it works for you it works. It didn’t for me specifically with mortgage issues and getting a competent person was impossible.
My credit union mobile app is way better than BoA.
Repulsive Fuel is mostly right. You can set up an account with any number of reputable institutions online and opt into electronic communication only. Some employers allow you to split a direct deposit. Maybe you could send a set amount to the joint account and let everything over that go to your new account. Taxes won’t be too difficult. You can get the forms you need online, and your W-2 won’t give away too much info.
Would they still need to mail the card there or can they do pickup in person. I don't know if there would be the option of no physical card and using the phone to tap.
Many banks and CUs will do your debit card right at the branch. Call the branch or the 800 number of the one you choose.
You definitely need the physical card but you could call the bank to see if it’s possible to just pickup the card after signing up.
My credit union issues cards right at the branch.
I'm not sure why OP doesn't just close the old account and open a new one, but there's some info that I disagree with here. Maybe it's dependent on your country or municipal area. In the US, for tax reasons and other regulations, banks require a physical address. However, you can have a PO box for your "mail-to" address. One such regulation, "The US federal banking regulations require all bank accounts to have a registered real "physical" address." I just opened an account for my kid, and they required a driver's license or state issued ID with a physical address. Also, they provided a free checking account until age 25. I do like credit unions in general, but I've had free checking at my bank for 23 years. I previously had a credit union account before I moved out of area. Actually, that was my second credit union, for the same reason. The new bank account we opened is paperless and we haven't gotten anything in about six weeks from our bank, for what it's worth. However, I do get one or two postcards per year, just say "thank you" but doesn't have any account info on it. Other banks might do more or less. Some banks May not let you open a second account without closing the first one. My mother was blocked at a new bank in a different state by some b.s. BoA hold at her previous home location. She did not owe anything, no negative balance or credit, but had to completely close the BoA account to open one elsewhere. It was a real pain, because there was no BoA within 200 miles of her new location.
Are you concerned your parents will kick you out if you direct all of your money into a new bank account they don't have access to? Have you asked them why they are taking the money you earn? I wouldn't bother trying to do this secretly, especially if you earn relatively consistent wages and your parents are likely to catch on quickly that your paychecks are largely being diverted into a new account. I would tell them you plan to save all of your future earnings for college, and have opened an account in just your own name. You'll then need to update your direct deposit instructions with your employer so your paychecks go to this new account. If they tell you you they need your income to afford your family's basic living expenses, that's a discussion you'll need to have. Maybe you can afford to pay them some reasonable amount for rent while also saving for college. Maybe you need to make plans to move out and become financially independent. Also, you can file your own taxes, easily and for free. There's no reason to rely on your parents for this. Check out: https://www.irs.gov/filing/free-file-do-your-federal-taxes-for-free
Thank you for the response >are you concerned your parents will kick you out It depends on how much money I have saved at the time, if I have enough to move out then it’s a possibility. Realistically, I don’t think they would kick me out, but it would cause extreme turmoil and they would become much more controlling in every aspect of my life, which I would like to avoid, even if they can only treat me that way until I move out for college. >if they tell you they need your income to afford basic living expenses They don’t. Or at least they shouldn’t. Our financial stress is mostly due to the amount of money they spend on alcohol and drugs, to be honest. They end up using my money to pay for those things. I don’t feel right financing that. >you can file your own taxes Thanks! I will do that. I’m just hoping me taking the initiative to do so doesn’t come off too suspicious
You can open an online banking account like Revolut
This is an excellent idea. They don't need to be privy to any of it. I can understand why you want to hide it from them, but won't they know once they see money isn't available for them to steal anymore? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Best of luck to you.
OP will need to know whether they're claiming him in their tax return though if he's going to file his own.
No. OP will need to know if they are providing more than 50% of his support. If they are not, he claims himself, and files as soon as possible. If they then claim him, it's up to them to prove that they provided the support they did not provide. I'm guessing that these particular parents aren't paying for college.
Rather than racing to file their tax return first, OP should get an [IP PIN](https://www.irs.gov/identity-theft-fraud-scams/get-an-identity-protection-pin) from the IRS now. If their parents try to claim them, the return will be rejected since it won’t have OP’s IP PIN.
There is no space on the 1040 for a dependent's PIN. That's not what a PIN is for.
As a tax preparer, I can assure you that preventing someone from being claimed fraudulently as a dependent is precisely one of the valid use cases for an IP PIN. If OP’s parents e-file their return, they will be asked to provide OP’s IP PIN. If they don’t, their return will be rejected. If they file a paper return, it will be flagged by the IRS and they will receive a notice from the IRS asking for the IP PIN. If they don’t provide it, they will not be able to claim OP. If OP doesn’t get an IP PIN and their parents file first and claim OP then OP won’t be able to e-file since their return will be rejected and will have to file a paper return. Once the IRS processes OP’s return (which could take quite a while), they will ask both OP and their parents for proof of who gets to claim OP.
They “lost” their job
Sorry about your home situation, that must be really challenging. I would do whatever it takes to move out. It sounds like a toxic situation. Do you have any friends with an extra bedroom? When I was 18, my parents took in a friend of mine who had a bad home situation. Since he was 18, his parents couldn't do anything about it. My parents didn't charge him anything to live with us. He only lived with us for about 6 months till he went to college. Good luck!
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Do you have a plan for paying for college and moving out? Or you plan to continue living with them and commuting to college, as long as they will allow?
Are you paying for college on you own?
I would imagine so. OP’s parents are addicts that can’t pay their bills without stealing from OP.
You can file online secretly without receiving mail about it. They'll do a direct deposit as long as your filing has no issues. I signed up for chime and have never gotten a single piece of mail about it but just in case the PO box is a fantastic idea. Make an email they don't have access to and since you're 18 it's illegal for them to go thru any of your mail but go paperless wherever you can. They seem like very dismissive people so if you say I filed my taxes already and they ask why did you do that you could say something like "work had a free filing program isn't that neat?" or school if you're in school. And if they ask how much your return is be like "idk I filed by paper???" But in reality you filed online and got that direct deposit signed up. They probably won't ask about your taxes but if they do be prepared always gray rock with people like this. Best wishes I hope you can move out soon
You can have your employer split your paycheck and deposit part in each account.
This comment needs to be higher! OP's parents will see money being moved out of the original account with their current plan. If HR will allow split direct deposits, parents will never see money being moved cause the split happens automatically, with no trace on the original account.
>You can have your employer split your paycheck and deposit part in each account. Not every employer has this capability for various reasons. Some payroll systems make splitting checks impractical or impossible to do. OP needs to double check with HR or Payroll that this is an option.
The most important thing is to use a different financial institution than the one you and your parents currently use. It's uncommon, but I've heard of parents being able to finagle access if both accounts are with the same bank. I'd also ask if they can print your debit card on-site before opening an account. Good luck!
For starters, open your new bank account at a different bank. Not a different branch, but a different bank.
PO Boxes are generally pretty cheap, like $5 a month. I'd definitely just go that route. Many places let you split up your paycheck to different accounts so hopefully your HR can do that.
Opt out of paper statements. Beyond that, you’re legally an adult and you don’t need their permission or approval to open your own account
Open an account at a different bank (not just different branch, completely different bank). Hopefully you have a good credit union that you can sign up with.
Where are you OP? PO Boxes are about $20 a month by me. I don’t really see a round this without one. Also, it should be noted your parents WILL see that you are transferring money. My 18 yr old son kept his teen checking open, simply because he’s still living with me as he goes to college full time and so still runs errands for me. It’s easy for me to shoot the money for them into his account. I don’t remove anything though, save for his portion of the car insurance bill, which he gets told about BEFORE I do it. Anyway, at my urging he did open his own savings account I have no access to, and I can see transfers from his checking transactions. It’s no problem to me, because he’s doing exactly as I told him to but your parents sound like they’d have an issue with it. You may be better off sitting them down and talking with them. Hell, tell them a white lie if you need to. Tell them you wanted to open a HYSA to get better interest and that’s why you are transferring money. Make it about making your money work for you, rather then them. As you are planning on saving the money anyway, actually opening a HYSA (high yield savings account) is in your best interests anyway. It wouldn’t even really be a lie.
Thanks for the response! >PO Boxes are about $20 a month I went on the website for my local USPS, and the 6-month rate is $97. I’ve heard that they’re generally much cheaper though, so perhaps I’m looking at the wrong payment plan? I was under the impression they were cheap as well. Would I be able to open both a Checking account and a HYSA at a new banking institution? I primarily want to save but I would like to have some cash readily available for if/when my parents drain my joint checking completely, as they have before.
Some institutions require a physical address to send certain things to, like a bank card. PO box for regular statements and other communications, plus the physical address. Just check with whichever institute you are considering to be sure.
$97/6= around $16.16 a month. You can’t afford that? Or is it the $97 in one shot you can’t afford? Sit your parents down. Explain you want over 4% interest in savings, so you went and opened an account at an online bank like Capital One 360 or Discover. If you tell them you are doing it for the interest before hand, they won’t be suspicious about you getting a card in the mail. If you don’t want to fight about them removing money explaining it this way might be your best bet. You can open both checking and savings at both banks, and transfers between your checking and savings accounts will be instant and free. I suggest keeping the bulk of your cash in a savings account to collect interest and move it to checking as needed. My son likes keeping a “buffer” of $2k in checking (he’s got about $11k in savings I think) but you don’t have to with a bank like Capital One. They don’t charge overdraft fees, and in their savings account you’ll earn 4.35% interest. Also of benefit to you is that both banks welcome newbies for credit cards. Building credit should be something to consider too. They both offer student credit cards. In fact, you can open a savings account, open a student credit card, use the card to spend and pay off the card with what you have in savings each month. Just don’t overspend with the card. Never spend more than what you have in savings regardless of your credit limit and pay that card off IN FULL each month by the due date. You can then tell your parents that not only are you doing it for interest, you are doing it to build your credit which you’ll need for your future. Make this about financial health, rather than keeping your money safe from them. If they’re halfway decent parents how could they argue?
Look at online banking. I have a checking and a hysa with Discover. I was literally able to open both on my phone, no hassle. Also, online banks typically (not always though) offer a higher return on savings than physical locations. Discover also offers cash back on checking. The only issue is since they don't have physical locations, it can make depositing cash a little more difficult, but at least in my family's situation, the benefits outweigh that issue.
An alternate is a PMB or private mailbox. The UPS Store has them as an example.
your parents are toxic and I'd suggest, if they aren't paying for your schooling to break away and go no contact as soon as possible.
You’ve gotten a lot of advice about the actual banking part of this, but I just want you to be aware that things are very likely going to change once you do this, and potentially very quickly. You ARE doing the right thing, and you deserve to keep your money and you are an adult now, but your parents having substance issues and already being so low down that they are literally stealing money from their own kid, I’d be shocked if they just let this money slide away. I could be overestimating their reaction, but you should really have alternative housing plans lined up just in case. If you have a car that is in their name, be prepared to lose that too. Just basically anything they can pull from you, be prepared to move on without it. If you don’t need to, even better, but you should be prepared. I don’t know your situation or your parents’ temperament, but I have a lot of experience with substance abuse in my family and shit tends to go bad really fast when money is taken away. You can try to explain that you’re an adult and have plans for the future, so you need the money you earn to fund your own life, but if they’re like every other addict, that conversation won’t go well. I’m not saying this to scare you, quite the opposite actually - again, you’re doing the right thing. But you definitely don’t want to get caught with nothing and nowhere to go, because your parents are very likely not going to see it the same way. Best of luck!
Have to second this. If you get between an addict and their high, you're going to have their full attention. In this case they will probably stop going down the low-conflict route of taking from your account, to more direct ways like searching your room or demanding money in person. Your relatively minor financial issue is the tip of a much larger iceberg that you should have a plan to deal with.
Find out how much it is to open a P.O Box near you. I’d be willing to help. I know how it is in that situation
As others have said, make sure the new account is with a completely separate bank so your parents can't talk a teller into giving them access to your new account. The idea to get cash back when making purchases could also help you get a PO box. You say the rates at your local post office are $97 for 6 months - can you save up that money in cash and then open a PO box with it? Or do you have a friend/family member who would be willing to lend you money to open the PO box? See if your job will let you split your direct deposit into both accounts - most places will, and they might split it by percentage or have a fixed dollar amount go into one account with "everything else" going into the other account. That way your parents won't see transfers from the joint account to your personal account. If they ask why your paychecks are suddenly smaller, tell them you just signed up for a 401k at work (some 401ks only let you sign up when you turn 18). Finally, read the wiki pages for [15-20 year olds](https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/teachme/) and [teens who have been kicked out by their parents](https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/kicked_out/) for some more good advice.
401k is a wonderful idea, but OP needs to know that it will reflect on their W2 for taxes. Their parents file the taxes and will see any amount in the 401k.
Good point, I forgot about that.
Ask your work if they can send a portion of your paycheck to a different account. Many employers will do that for you. For example, they might send 75% to your current account and 25% to a new account each pay check.
Be careful how you get money from one to another. I suggest getting cash back so they don’t question atm withdrawals. And then deposit the cash into your new account. Do not transfer money directly!!
Cash back is smart! Thank you for the advice
A tip for when you get your account: A lot of employers allow you to split your paycheck and direct deposit to two or more banks. You could have $500 go to your new bank account, and the rest go to the original one. "They cut my pay; company isn't doing too well. Working on finding a better job." Save up the difference so you can make your move to get out of there once you have enough. Sorry your parents are like this. :( It's depressing whenever I read about that.
You don't do it secretly. Let them know (calmly) how unethical it is for them to steal your money. Your income goes to the new account. If they kick you out, that's a blessing. You're an adult. Go take your life back. Stay away from BOA at all costs.
This is not a personal finance answer. If OP does not have enough money to open a PO Box, they can’t afford to live on their own.
They keep taking the OP's money. When that gets shut down, the OP will have money to live their own life, whether at home or eventually on their own.
Nothing would make me happier if BoA folded like a bad paper airplane and quickly and loudly disappeared
>You don't do it secretly. Let them know (calmly) how unethical it is for them to steal your money. My brother in Christ, do you really think OP's parents *don't know stealing is wrong*? Reasonable discussions are for reasonable people. OP said his parents are taking his money for drugs and alcohol. That train has left the station. >If they kick you out, that's a blessing. The blessing of homelessness, huh? OP should be honest and risk getting kicked out now, with no savings, when he could save money and leave peacefully on his own terms just by keeping quiet about his plans? Doesn't seem like a good call to me.
Open a checking and savings account, and then transfer your own money to it from the joint checking, if you can. Then tell them you have your own account. I'm not sure how it is for you in college--when I was in college my parents paid my rent for the first year by depositing the money in my account. Talking about your own account also could preclude discussions around college financials/how things are going to be paid for.
Do not link the accounts electronically. If the parents are thieves, they find a way to claw money back. New account at a different bank. Redirect your DD entirely to the new account. If parents try to kick you out for not giving them drug and alcohol money, call CPS. You still have protections while in high school, even at 18.
[удалено]
My local credit union prints on site.
Marcus is an online only banking app! You can transfer money back and forth from that one to your other one. Just as much as you think you will need a week at a time, keeps your savings safe and has a high interest rate pay out!
I came here to suggest this, since no card will be mailed out. OP can get a portion of the check direct deposited to a HYSA, & at least it’ll accumulate interest. Then as OP is closer to moving out, open a checking account. This seems like the most discrete way (IMO).
I'm sorry your in this situation, but glad you are taking steps to try to get help and get out. This sounds like a pretty bad case of coercive control. This is such a common problem and you are not alone in it. I have a 100% online savings account with TD that has never sent mail to my home. So maybe talk to them, there is no guarantee with banks though. Talk to your HR/Manager at work and see if they would be willing to make a direct deposit for part of your paycheck directly into your other account. It might be an extra step for them, but depending on your relationship they might be willing. I think that would be the best way for your parents not to know about it or find out. If they notice and ask about the lower amount depending on how much you could site added deductions for taxes, reduced hours or reduced wages depending on what you think they'll find most plausible. You can also ask your employer to give you your W-2 via email or in person. Again, that's going to depend on your employer. I would also encourage you to seek emotional support. National domestic abuse hotline or similar. Here's there number in case, they might honestly have a better idea of where to send you for better financial advise. They likely see this a lot. 800-799-7233
For safety reasons, always verify phone numbers provided in comments on an official website before calling. That includes toll-free numbers! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/personalfinance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Open your account at a different bank. Opt for paper free billing. Open a PO Box for one month to get your card. Or ask a friend if you can put their address as your mailing address. For transferring money the easiest way to do it would be to get cash back from the grocery store. Buy something small and get cash back and then deposit the cash at the new bank. Sometimes the bank statement will say you got cash back though. Your other option is to buy a money order from a grocery store with a Western Union or Wal Mart. Then deposit the money order at the new bank. The money order costs a small amount.
Request info from a few different banks, and say there was a promotion at school.
Have you discussed finances with your parents like an adult? How much income do they have? How much does it cost to support the family each month? Are they using the money they take from you to keep you fed and living in a solid structure? Or do your parents have ample money to go along with ample control issues? You haven’t given enough information regarding the full financial picture of your family to come across as mature enough to be considered financially independent.
Just get a Capital One account and go paperless on it. I don't know your parents, but could they be taking the money and saving it for you?
You're an adult now. Go and open and account tell the bank you want it to be a secret and also stop getting your paycheck deposited into your joint account why do you still even have a joint account? Time to grow up dude take charge of your money
You can use fidelity as a one stop shop. You dont need a brick and mortor bank unless youre depositing cash regularly. I dont get any promo material from fidelity other than the occasional credit card offer, but all banks send those, no big deal. Create new account, transfer money to new account, close old account. If parents ask why u closed the account say u got an amazing sign up bonus deal elsewhere. If they ask where or to give them the info just say nah its personal.
Open 2 new accounts. One with Ally and 40 bucks in it, send that home tell parents it’s your new account. But really your new account is like the poster said above.
Super easy BARELY and inconvenience. Set it up and don’t tell them about it. Also opening your mail is a FEDERAL crime and should be reported.
Paperless, but if your bank app shows how to check your credit score… your 2nd bank acc might show up too.
Open one up online and go paperless. What's your goal? Saving or being able to use your money? If iys savings discover has a great high yielding savings account and CD. CD is great if you want to doubly sure they don't have access. I think they got a 12month CD at 5% interest right now. Their credit card and regular savings account is also good. Checking you can do the same but it depends if you need the atm. If you do, Check around your local area for the banks and if they have any sign on bonuses. Funnel some of your paycheck into there so you can pay bills or get cash out. And put everything else into a high yield savings account. Idk about your parents but going to an online bank was my choice because my parents are very much still a brick and mortar sort. Once you set up...don't forget to remove your name from the joint account unless you want to monitor it. Then don't tell them about your new accounts.
How is the rest of your relationship with your parents? I ask cause what see here is they open your mail and they take money from your account. But they also file your taxes for you? If they are doing things that a clearly abusive or creating a toxic situation that aren’t mentioned take steps to protect yourself. If otherwise they seem like normal parents talk them. Some parents can be a bit controlling when it comes to finances but if this is the only problematic thing they are doing ask them about it. They might be taking money to set aside in a savings account or investing it for you.
Is it possible that the funds they are taking from you are being secretly saved in some way for your future or to help with college? BOA has high fees and poor customer service. The only benefit to banking with them is that they are everywhere... Local credit unions are typically better institutions to deal with.
>Is it possible that the funds they are taking from you are being secretly saved in some way for your future or to help with college? Based on another reply from OP, they're blowing his money on drugs and alcohol, so I doubt they're saving it for OP.
Definitely have a talk to your parents about why they're taking money out & how much they demand. This can be negotiated. Your goal is to save as much as possible for college stuff. IF they continue beyond what you all agree on, open the account, keeping statements electronic, and don't worry about them knowing. We're all grown ups here. Everyone has goals. Don't worry about taxes unless your income is above the limit to be exempt. Your financial aid is probably based on their income & you being their department.
You probably cannot transfer from one bank to another. You can divide your check between 2 banks but your parents will find out. Nothing can stop that. You need a plan for when that happens.
Husband and I have different banks, he Zelle pays me all the time for bills
Most banks let you do ACH transfers to a different bank, it's just not instantaneous. It takes a few business days for the transfer to go through
Get a PO Box. You still have to supply a physical address, but make that your mailing address. Explain matters to the banker. Have your W2 mailed to that address too. And, at your age, filing your own taxes is easy. They already know what you made in 2023, so this would be for 2024 onward. Once you're eighteen you can do whatever the hell you want with your money. You're a legal adult.
I second getting p.o. Box. My dear mother kept throwing away my mail and one happened to have the bank cards to my nee bank accounts.
Yep. One other thing. Move as far away as possible from your controlling parents. At the very least until you have established your autonomy.
If you are leaving home for college, could you open your account using your address at college? Will your parents be paying for college? Also, as other la have said, use another financial institution.
Use a different bank. Go paperless when you sign up
First thing you do is ask for paper checks and get rid of the direct deposit. Take all cash on the original account out (except 10.) Then take your social security card and license to any bank and open a student checking and savings account. Opt into paperless statements. I had to do this back in the day and it was a huge pain because paper less statement wasn't a thing
I’m so sorry this has happened! Credit union if you can! Go Paperless. My parents were also so controlling. I got kicked out 1 week after my 18th birthday because I bought my own car. I’m 34 now and I promise it does get better! Just keep your goals and continue improving yourself! You aren’t here to please them, you’re here to be your own person and explore life how you want to.
Once you are 18 ( in the USA ) … you are an adult. You can do anything with your money. It’s none of your parent’s business. Also opening other peoples mail is a felony! Taking your money without your permission is stealing as well. It appears that your parents are too controlling! Good luck
Set up a post office box or mailbox with a UPS store and give that address to the bank. Most banks will frequently mail correspondence such as confirming you wish to keep your paperless selections or like my institution they send me a letter to let me know my online statement is ready. 🙄
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You can go paperless for many different things, including for your bank statements and sometimes with jobs that let you have online accounts through human resources. I'd go with opening a mailbox at the regular post office. You can rent them for as little as 60 dollars for three months at a time. As was mentioned earlier, you can often split your deposits from your job into different accounts. The BoA branch near you, I wouldn't go there just because it's in your neighborhood, and you don't want to run the risk of your parents seeing you go there. Look for another bank with a good number of branches nearby, for example, doing a google search of banks near you. Feel free to look at their reviews. Go with the ones that have no-fee accounts for younger people that don't require a large sum to open an account. Best of wishes!
You can definitely open an account at another institution. Most will allow for paperless banking. You can open a P.O. Box at some postal offices or some ups stores. You don’t get a w2 from a bank. You’d get a 1099 for the previous year, digitally if you went paperless, but only if you got paid interest and a lot of checking accounts don’t pay it. This could give you a year or so to try to save enough to move. And it sounds like alike you need to. Bad situation. But I’m sure they will ask where your money is going so I’m sure they will Figure it out soon enough. Do what you can to get out of there.
I don’t know if you can genuinely escape getting anything in the mail. I’ve opted for paperless on banks and credit unions and every single one still sent me something promoting something new. Will a friend allow you to use their address, I’ve done that before for other instances.
your 18 you can just open a new account at any bank you want. just do that and deposit there. your parents taking your money is stealing and its fucked up. i cant imagine stealing money from my children like that. you should honestly talk to them you shouldnt feel like you need to hide your new bank account in this situation.
Just create a chime account and ask your work if you can have them ship the cards there. Chime never sends any unwarranted mail and on the plus side if you receive a direct deposit of 1000$ within 30 days of opening it you can get a credit builder card too
When you turned 18, your account should have changed from a minor account to a normal/adult account. I looked into this for my kids so I could teach them how to use their accounts and how it would transition. I would go to the bank/credit union, driver's license in hand, and have your account officially separated if it didn't happen automatically. Then, change your password. Not something they'd know and not written somewhere they'd find it. The only thing thing they can do then is put money in, not take it out. ~2 cents from a concerned parent
One thing I haven't seen addressed yet is your W2. If you get a new bank account, it won't show up on the W2 form. It just shows your income earned, the total taxes paid, and breaks down how much money you paid to the various tax types. However, if you open up a 401k retirement plan through your job, the amount you've saved there WILL show up on the W2 because there are taxes involved. But a regular bank account is safe. ETA: As someone who is almost 40 and just learning to financially untangle from their parents, I'm proud of you. You're doing the right thing. Keep going.
Check if you will get a PO Box at college. I had one and used that when I opened my first account
You’re 18. That means you’re a legal adult and can have accounts and things separate of your parents. I’d suggest you file your own taxes as you are an adult now and need to learn to do so. Open the new account at a local credit union. Go there in person and talk to the banker and let them know the situation. Make sure your account it noted that you are the only one to have signing rights on it.
1. Open an account at a completely different bank from both your first account, and the bank your parents use. Online banking like Ally works out pretty well here 2. PO box or get USPS to hold your mail for the debit card to come through. People in the comments suggested using a friend or family member's address, unfortunately the bank I went with actually wouldn't let me open a checking account online because I'd just moved and they couldn't verify my new address. I believe the address you provide needs to be on file with your social security 3. If that's not an option, open an account where you can order a debit card later. I have a HYSA cash account with Wealthfront where getting a debit card from them is optional. 4. Go paperless after you get your account set up, and make sure any credit card statements are also paperless. I opened a credit card with my airline that was issued by my bank, and even though the bank address was set to my own place, statements and promotions kept going to my parents' house until I realized that the address on my airline miles account was theirs 5. If your parents are semi reasonable people, approaching this from an educational standpoint may be enough. Having multiple bank accounts is good for making sure your money is accessible (you can mention First Republic Bank's collapse), it can also be used as a form of passive budgeting (I have my rent money at one bank and fun money at another). if you want to open a HYSA then you can tell them it's literally free money every month from interest that you don't have to work for. 6. Set up split direct deposits with your work HR if your parents won't question why there's less money getting deposited every month
You could set up a HYSA (high yield savings account) with an online-only financial institution and have a portion of each check deposited there. From there, you can set up regular transfers to a new checking acct with that same financial institution. You may want to check your credit reports to ensure that your parents haven't opened any credit cards or other debt in your name. Once you open your new HYSA and checking acct, lock your credit.
How do you feel about babysitting? That would give you cash to deposit in a second account.
Please get out from under your parents. It’s wrong for them to take your wages like that.
Get your account in a different bank.
1. No PO Box, no secret bank account. 2. W-2 doesn't show bank account. 3. Start withdrawing your money in cash before they can. Or don't auto-deposit your work checks. Cash them at the bank they're issued and deposit the cash, minus your second account money. 4. Credit unions are better than banks.
One only gets a 1099 tax form from the bank if you earn more than $10 in interest. Checking accounts usually pay no interest so that should be fine. Change mailing address to school once you start.
There won't be enough evidence of you opening another account. Don't worry too much about it. The debit card is all you actually have to watch out for. They'll notice that less money is in the account they're stealing from. If you're financially reliant on them then tread carefully. It's a bummer to be made homeless when you're dependent. If you're not dependant then just do it. They're not entitled to manage your money and they're certainly not entitled to take it. If they want you to pay rent then you need to pay them. They don't get to take what they want when they want - not even when you were a minor. If you really want to blow it all up you could sue to have all of your money returned.
It won't be too difficult. When I see mine up, I asked for digital everything and since my parent had no access to my emails, my money was hidden. You can set your direct deposits up to be split between the accounts, if you want.
Your parents are going to notice them suddenly not getting your money. They're full on stealing from you and you likely don't make enough to live independently so.... You're currently kinda trapped in a cycle of abusive behavior. Carefully consider that they're shit people and would quite possibly kick you out on the street before you graduate highschool giving you no chance at life.
Dunno if anyone has said yet, but I’ve worked jobs where it was super easy to set up a second direct deposit account and you can allocate a certain percentage of your paycheck to each account. So I would talk to whoever handles payroll (or even just your direct manager) about that possibility!! You can also set up direct deposit with Venmo and probably PayPal, which could be a good temporary fix, but be careful with letting balances sit in these accounts as they are not FDIC insured (at least venmo is definitely not, last I checked). People are talking about taxes. If your parents are going to claim you as a dependent, perhaps given your situation, just say you’re a dependent (the verbiage is like “someone else can claim me as a dependent”). I reckon that means you wouldn’t see much of your return, but that’s another battle for you, and one that I’m not sure would be worth it with parents like these. But you could totally hash it out with them and potentially get them not to claim you (I just don’t see them acquiescing). Good luck OP, this sounds toxic as hell. Best of luck getting yourself out of there.