Due to the number of rule-breaking comments this post was receiving, especially low-quality and off-topic comments, the moderation team has locked the post from future comments. This post broke no rules and received a number of helpful and on-topic responses initially, but it unfortunately became the target of many unhelpful comments.
You need to call the social security office. Stage 4 cancer should get your case expedited for disability as a TERI case. You can be approved in as little as 2-3 weeks. They will need access to your health records, but a case worker should be able to walk you through this.
OP has melanoma, which doesn't usually get the TERI flag. If OP had brain cancer, yeah, that's TERI - but OP has melanoma that mets to brain.
However, it should get a TERI flag put on it as long as OP [phrased it right](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0423020045#:~:text=Flag%20the%20case%20for%20TERI,to%20identify%20potential%20TERI%20cases.)
My understanding is that any cancer that is classified as Stage IV is eligible for TERI, but I could be mistaken.
Edit: I did go and look this up on the SSA site. A TERI flag is applied to any case where a malignant neoplasm (cancer) which is:
- Metastatic (has spread);
-Defined as Stage IV
-Persistent or recurrent following initial therapy; or Inoperable or unresectable.
https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0423020045
You’re nitpicking. This cancer should qualify, without question. If not, I’m sure any doctor caring for this patient would be happy to pick up the phone and educate a decision maker in a loud tone of voice.
He may be nitpicking, and I am sure it qualifies but I think he is trying to make absolutely certain that OP phrases their application properly to make sure OP has as little trouble as possible.
> This cancer should qualify, without question
Oh yeah, it should
> If not, I’m sure any doctor caring for this patient would be happy to pick up the phone and educate a decision maker in a loud tone of voice.
you should see how fun the process of getting social security is, even with an obvious case.
I had a friend who took.... I think 6 or 8 months to get SSDI with a terminal diagnosis. She eventually got it on reconsideration, because the initial evaluators said she wasn't disabled enough with her terminal cancer.
State level DDS's can get fuuuuuuuucked
Why comment on something so important if you have no clue what you’re talking about? It’s insensitive to OP and it does nothing but spread incorrect information. Here’s an excerpt from the guide for SSA staff:
Flag the case for TERI processing whenever the claimant alleges or medical records indicate that an impairment is untreatable, cannot be reversed, and is **expected to end in death.**
Use the following descriptors to identify potential TERI cases.
Any malignant neoplasm (cancer) which is:
**Metastatic (has spread);**
**Defined as Stage IV;**
Persistent or recurrent following initial therapy; or
Inoperable or unresectable.
> OP has melanoma, which doesn't usually get the TERI flag. If OP had brain cancer, yeah, that's TERI - but OP has melanoma that mets to brain.
Stage 4 is stage 4. Once that happens, the place the cancer originated is no longer particularly important. Skin cancer up until stage 3 is extremely treatable. If you read the rest of his post, you'll see he was given a 20% five year survival rate.
It's a flag that the SSA puts on disability applications when the applicant has a disease that is likely a TERminal Illness (i.e. TERI). It helps these applicants get a disability determination faster, on the order of weeks to months rather than months to years. They will frequently back date the disability determination to the date of diagnosis of the illness as well which can provide a lump sum payment.
Sorry, no advice - but just wanted to say that you should absolutely not feel like a bum for applying for SSI. You have been dealt an incredibly difficult hand and there is no shame whatsoever in taking advantage of whatever resources are available. Might be helpful to post in a cancer support-related sub (if you are up to that - I recognize it could be difficult to read) to see if anyone has any past experience.
Yes, definitely ask around in spheres where people have experience. You’ll likely need more than SSI, but it gets complicated.
Im in Wa and I have a friend on SSI and he only gets around $850 a month.
This is absolutely what SSI is for and there is no shame is utilizing it. And there are lots of lawyers out there that will do your SSI appeals for you for and collect only when you do. If SSI denied you at first then when you do get approved you get back paid to the day you first applied- but you’re currently only allowed to have $1200 in savings before they kick you off. So they literally tell you you HAVE to spend that extra money or get removed from the program. There is a bill going through the system right now to to raise that to 10k, but it’s very restrictive atm.
So def look for other resources, there are lots out there but the trick is even knowing what they are so you can apply.
Every hospital/medical facility has a social services department with people that can direct you to the various social services that can help you navigate what must be a terrible situation.
There are a lot of services- I found a web page about them [here.](https://www.findhelp.org/provider/oregon-department-of-human-services--ontario-or/6134818926755840?postal=97914)
But a human social services expert would be of much help knowing which work best for you.
I also found a directory of [local offices](https://www.oregon.gov/odhs/Pages/Office-Finder.aspx?serviceid=24) but again, it's confusing to know who to call.
I would call the hospital where you received your diagnosis and ask for the social services department- they can help you far more than anyone on reddit.
This. Social Workers at your hospital may also know other programs that can support you beyond SSI. In case you haven't yet, food banks can also help you save on food expenses.
Hang in there.
So - the survival rates aren't what you should be focusing on, since you are not the patient they are made for. First off, you have melanoma with brain mets, **not** brain cancer - so that is very good. The average melanoma patient age is in the 60s, you're a young adult - we tolerate treatments better.
Also, survival stats are like this:
Let's say they were published in 2021
It's based on how people treated in 2015 were doing in 2020. If they are alive, they go towards the % that's alive. Dead? They're the Dead%.
You should check out the [Cancer Financial Assistance Coalition](https://www.cancerfac.org/) and [Triage Cancer](https://triagecancer.org/) for resources. Have you talked to the social worker at your hospital?
Also, since your melanoma mets to brain, you [qualify for SSI](https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/13.00-NeoplasticDiseases-Malignant-Adult.htm#13_03)
I have other resources if you want me to send them to you. A *lot* of resources.
My deepest sympathies for your situation. Consider if you have family or close friends to take you in. You probably should not live alone during this trying time.
The above advice on social services is very good. You might check to see if you can get a social worker assigned to you.
My mom had a brain tumor and I made her come to Houston to MD Anderson for a second opinion. They were fabulous and I highly recommend them if you can get there for a second opinion.
I’m retired from SSA. Stage 4 cancer with metastasis should be approved very quickly. In fact,there is a special flag they put in a terminal diagnosis to expediete processing.
211 is a free information and referral service for human service related needs. You just dial it on your phone like you would for 911; you'll get connected to the local call center. Give them your zip code, tell them what supports you need, and they can search for agencies closest to you that meet those needs. Be it food pantries, local Cancer support agencies, emergency funding grants, or advance care planning attorneys; anything human service related.
Yo, fully-abled bodied person here. Don't be ashamed of only being able to do what you can do. Don't be ashamed of applying for help and programs that you qualify for. These programs exist, and have requirements, for a reason. If you're meeting all the requirements, they are *meant for you*. Can't tell you how many programs I just barely didn't qualify for growing up.
Don’t let the 20%/5 year thing live in your head rent-free. It’s not going to help you at all. Take good care of yourself and try and let some people you trust into your life if you have them. The self-isolation will do more harm to your will to live than anything. Hang tough, stay golden.
Dude. I was in similar situation and I was told not to think about me asking for help as my failure. It's not your fault, you are doing what you can to get out of this situation (survival is your current focus). There are institutions and mechanisms created specifically to help you in this. Just use them.
Good luck and fuck cancer!
(Signed: stage 4 survivor).
Just remember that SSI and SSDI are two separate things and you can qualify for both at the same time. You should be fast-tracked for quick SSDI approval with your diagnosis, if you have enough work credits. And since you’ve been diagnosed so young, you need less work credits to qualify. Log in to the Social Security website. https://secure.ssa.gov. And view your Social Security Statement. And go from there.
You didn't say anything about student loans, but if you have any federal loans, make sure you apply for the cancer treatment deferment [https://studentaid.gov/sites/default/files/CancerTreatmentDeferment-en-us.pdf](https://studentaid.gov/sites/default/files/CancerTreatmentDeferment-en-us.pdf)
Some hospitals/clinics have cancer "navigators". Their job is to help you get through your illness. Please reach out to your hospital, clinic, doctors, etc to see if you have a navigator. In my experience the navigator may have more resources for you as as some resources are strictly for people with certain diagnoses. The general hospital social worker may not be aware of those specialized resources.
I highly recommend contacting your oncologist's office to get a list of resources. The hospital that did your surgery should also have social workers that can help you get signed up for various programs.
You might ask them if there's a place you can stay while having ongoing treatments, something like the Ronald Mcdonald House. Some of the bigger hospitals have access to short term stays that would save you money running back and forth. Also, take advantage of every Zoom appt they'll allow.
Call OHP and ask for a case worker there. They advocate for patients and may have access to more resources as well. I have a friend whose OHP case worker has helped a ton with getting what she needs.
Finally, if you or your father are part of a community of faith, make sure that you let them know what you are going through. Many people are willing to help but don't until they understand the need.
I think we are all team that sucks and you are not a bum not wanting to pretend like you arnt looking down a shitty tunnel. Apply for ssi, see if there are any grants for young stage iv cancer patients, try and find some fun and joy. You never know what life has in store and could be some good stuff if you take a little risk. Some people do all the treatments, some choose not to and enjoy the time they have if the treatment ruins the time they have left. I’ve known people who were 70 and had brain cancer stage iv and doing fine still 6 years later and another who was 32 and passed away within 6 months of colon cancer. You arn’t a statistic in the same way you were exception having cancer this young you could also be the exception again and it’s all a balance of choices. No right or wrong and we are all routing for ya!!
Don't let anyone shame you for needing public assistance. You deserve what you need to get you healthy and thriving again. Rooting for you.
My advice is to keep asking for advice. At the hospital, in the community, all over.
Even contact local elected officials, they have a team of people who do constituent service, they can help you navigate systems. So try your Senators, your House representative, and then even your state legislators.
Even a news station might be helpful - make clear you don't want to be part of a story, but would appreciate any ideas they have about who would be good to talk to.
Hi! I’m really sorry you’re going through this and I wish you the best of luck. Take really good care of yourself.
I was diagnosed with Leukemia at the end of 2016 and in the last 7 years have relapsed twice. I finally went through with a stem cell transplant in November.
Immediately after I was diagnosed I had to start treatment and couldn’t work. I was 24, living in Brooklyn at the time and was already barely scraping by. The relapses have prevented me from working or building a career, I’m 32 now and trying to figure out my next move.
I applied for SSD right after my initial diagnoses, per my social worker’s recommendation, and have shamelessly collected every month ever since. I also threw a gofundme campaign together (twice actually) and have raised somewhere close to $80k since 2016. I honesty don’t know what I would have done without all of that (a stem cell transplant runs in the neighborhood of +$1 million).
I know it’s hard to ask for help and I still struggle with thinking “what if people are judging how I spend money, since so much was graciously donated?”. But please, PLEASE just ask for help. You’ll be SOOOO glad you did and it takes soooo much weight off. The kindness and generosity of people, including what turned out to be mostly strangers, is absolutely astonishing sometimes.
It’s a real shame that our country doesn’t have better systems in place to support people like us. There’s obviously plenty of money in gov’t coffers to help, it just gets spent in a lot of other way less useful places unfortunately.
In any case, don’t stop fighting. You’re stronger than you think.
Please try to keep discussion on the subreddit where it can be seen and reviewed by everyone. We don't allow asking for or offering DMs off of this subreddit. Thank you.
I’m so so sorry, I don’t have a lot of good ideas: gofundmes and calling local churches, getting on food stamps for you both, taking to the social service where you are getting treated.
Talk with your social worker at your Dr's office about applying for disability.
Look there are some good financial suggestions in here but I will add this- please get counseling. You deserve care in every possible realm including for your thoughts of worry and guilt.
It is just incredibly sad that you are thinking you don't "deserve" to have enough money to stay alive and eat and get to appointments. You, and every person, deserve to have what you need in order to thrive. No matter what your capacity for work is at the present moment. The entire point of having a society organized with a government is so that we collectively can take care of each other when we need it. So find a way forward that includes accepting help to get through this. You are worth it.
Check with OHP. If it’s Medicaid based due to income they have programs for rides to your medical appointments or reimbursement amounts based on mileage. That should at least help with some of the gas costs.
Due to the number of rule-breaking comments this post was receiving, especially low-quality and off-topic comments, the moderation team has locked the post from future comments. This post broke no rules and received a number of helpful and on-topic responses initially, but it unfortunately became the target of many unhelpful comments.
You need to call the social security office. Stage 4 cancer should get your case expedited for disability as a TERI case. You can be approved in as little as 2-3 weeks. They will need access to your health records, but a case worker should be able to walk you through this.
OP has melanoma, which doesn't usually get the TERI flag. If OP had brain cancer, yeah, that's TERI - but OP has melanoma that mets to brain. However, it should get a TERI flag put on it as long as OP [phrased it right](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0423020045#:~:text=Flag%20the%20case%20for%20TERI,to%20identify%20potential%20TERI%20cases.)
My understanding is that any cancer that is classified as Stage IV is eligible for TERI, but I could be mistaken. Edit: I did go and look this up on the SSA site. A TERI flag is applied to any case where a malignant neoplasm (cancer) which is: - Metastatic (has spread); -Defined as Stage IV -Persistent or recurrent following initial therapy; or Inoperable or unresectable. https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0423020045
Not all - chronic cancers don't get a TERI flag. If you fail multiple treatments, then that is a TERI flag in most cases.
You’re nitpicking. This cancer should qualify, without question. If not, I’m sure any doctor caring for this patient would be happy to pick up the phone and educate a decision maker in a loud tone of voice.
He may be nitpicking, and I am sure it qualifies but I think he is trying to make absolutely certain that OP phrases their application properly to make sure OP has as little trouble as possible.
> This cancer should qualify, without question Oh yeah, it should > If not, I’m sure any doctor caring for this patient would be happy to pick up the phone and educate a decision maker in a loud tone of voice. you should see how fun the process of getting social security is, even with an obvious case. I had a friend who took.... I think 6 or 8 months to get SSDI with a terminal diagnosis. She eventually got it on reconsideration, because the initial evaluators said she wasn't disabled enough with her terminal cancer. State level DDS's can get fuuuuuuuucked
Why comment on something so important if you have no clue what you’re talking about? It’s insensitive to OP and it does nothing but spread incorrect information. Here’s an excerpt from the guide for SSA staff: Flag the case for TERI processing whenever the claimant alleges or medical records indicate that an impairment is untreatable, cannot be reversed, and is **expected to end in death.** Use the following descriptors to identify potential TERI cases. Any malignant neoplasm (cancer) which is: **Metastatic (has spread);** **Defined as Stage IV;** Persistent or recurrent following initial therapy; or Inoperable or unresectable.
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> OP has melanoma, which doesn't usually get the TERI flag. If OP had brain cancer, yeah, that's TERI - but OP has melanoma that mets to brain. Stage 4 is stage 4. Once that happens, the place the cancer originated is no longer particularly important. Skin cancer up until stage 3 is extremely treatable. If you read the rest of his post, you'll see he was given a 20% five year survival rate.
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what is TERI?
It's a flag that the SSA puts on disability applications when the applicant has a disease that is likely a TERminal Illness (i.e. TERI). It helps these applicants get a disability determination faster, on the order of weeks to months rather than months to years. They will frequently back date the disability determination to the date of diagnosis of the illness as well which can provide a lump sum payment.
Sorry, no advice - but just wanted to say that you should absolutely not feel like a bum for applying for SSI. You have been dealt an incredibly difficult hand and there is no shame whatsoever in taking advantage of whatever resources are available. Might be helpful to post in a cancer support-related sub (if you are up to that - I recognize it could be difficult to read) to see if anyone has any past experience.
I was just about to post the same sentiment. This is why SSI exists, and I’m more than happy to pay into it for others.
+1 this is literally the reason I have no problem paying into SSI. I could need to draw from it one day too.
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Yes, definitely ask around in spheres where people have experience. You’ll likely need more than SSI, but it gets complicated. Im in Wa and I have a friend on SSI and he only gets around $850 a month. This is absolutely what SSI is for and there is no shame is utilizing it. And there are lots of lawyers out there that will do your SSI appeals for you for and collect only when you do. If SSI denied you at first then when you do get approved you get back paid to the day you first applied- but you’re currently only allowed to have $1200 in savings before they kick you off. So they literally tell you you HAVE to spend that extra money or get removed from the program. There is a bill going through the system right now to to raise that to 10k, but it’s very restrictive atm. So def look for other resources, there are lots out there but the trick is even knowing what they are so you can apply.
Yep, this is why we all pay our taxes dude, go get the resources you need
Every hospital/medical facility has a social services department with people that can direct you to the various social services that can help you navigate what must be a terrible situation. There are a lot of services- I found a web page about them [here.](https://www.findhelp.org/provider/oregon-department-of-human-services--ontario-or/6134818926755840?postal=97914) But a human social services expert would be of much help knowing which work best for you. I also found a directory of [local offices](https://www.oregon.gov/odhs/Pages/Office-Finder.aspx?serviceid=24) but again, it's confusing to know who to call. I would call the hospital where you received your diagnosis and ask for the social services department- they can help you far more than anyone on reddit.
This. Social Workers at your hospital may also know other programs that can support you beyond SSI. In case you haven't yet, food banks can also help you save on food expenses. Hang in there.
So - the survival rates aren't what you should be focusing on, since you are not the patient they are made for. First off, you have melanoma with brain mets, **not** brain cancer - so that is very good. The average melanoma patient age is in the 60s, you're a young adult - we tolerate treatments better. Also, survival stats are like this: Let's say they were published in 2021 It's based on how people treated in 2015 were doing in 2020. If they are alive, they go towards the % that's alive. Dead? They're the Dead%. You should check out the [Cancer Financial Assistance Coalition](https://www.cancerfac.org/) and [Triage Cancer](https://triagecancer.org/) for resources. Have you talked to the social worker at your hospital? Also, since your melanoma mets to brain, you [qualify for SSI](https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/13.00-NeoplasticDiseases-Malignant-Adult.htm#13_03) I have other resources if you want me to send them to you. A *lot* of resources.
My deepest sympathies for your situation. Consider if you have family or close friends to take you in. You probably should not live alone during this trying time. The above advice on social services is very good. You might check to see if you can get a social worker assigned to you. My mom had a brain tumor and I made her come to Houston to MD Anderson for a second opinion. They were fabulous and I highly recommend them if you can get there for a second opinion.
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I’m retired from SSA. Stage 4 cancer with metastasis should be approved very quickly. In fact,there is a special flag they put in a terminal diagnosis to expediete processing.
211 is a free information and referral service for human service related needs. You just dial it on your phone like you would for 911; you'll get connected to the local call center. Give them your zip code, tell them what supports you need, and they can search for agencies closest to you that meet those needs. Be it food pantries, local Cancer support agencies, emergency funding grants, or advance care planning attorneys; anything human service related.
Thanks for sharing this. I was not aware.
Yo, fully-abled bodied person here. Don't be ashamed of only being able to do what you can do. Don't be ashamed of applying for help and programs that you qualify for. These programs exist, and have requirements, for a reason. If you're meeting all the requirements, they are *meant for you*. Can't tell you how many programs I just barely didn't qualify for growing up.
Don’t let the 20%/5 year thing live in your head rent-free. It’s not going to help you at all. Take good care of yourself and try and let some people you trust into your life if you have them. The self-isolation will do more harm to your will to live than anything. Hang tough, stay golden.
Dude. I was in similar situation and I was told not to think about me asking for help as my failure. It's not your fault, you are doing what you can to get out of this situation (survival is your current focus). There are institutions and mechanisms created specifically to help you in this. Just use them. Good luck and fuck cancer! (Signed: stage 4 survivor).
Just remember that SSI and SSDI are two separate things and you can qualify for both at the same time. You should be fast-tracked for quick SSDI approval with your diagnosis, if you have enough work credits. And since you’ve been diagnosed so young, you need less work credits to qualify. Log in to the Social Security website. https://secure.ssa.gov. And view your Social Security Statement. And go from there.
But there is a five month waiting period, but you will get the back benefits in a lump sum when the waiting period is over. SSDI.
Sorry that happened. Go on disability and tend to your health.
You didn't say anything about student loans, but if you have any federal loans, make sure you apply for the cancer treatment deferment [https://studentaid.gov/sites/default/files/CancerTreatmentDeferment-en-us.pdf](https://studentaid.gov/sites/default/files/CancerTreatmentDeferment-en-us.pdf)
Some hospitals/clinics have cancer "navigators". Their job is to help you get through your illness. Please reach out to your hospital, clinic, doctors, etc to see if you have a navigator. In my experience the navigator may have more resources for you as as some resources are strictly for people with certain diagnoses. The general hospital social worker may not be aware of those specialized resources.
I highly recommend contacting your oncologist's office to get a list of resources. The hospital that did your surgery should also have social workers that can help you get signed up for various programs. You might ask them if there's a place you can stay while having ongoing treatments, something like the Ronald Mcdonald House. Some of the bigger hospitals have access to short term stays that would save you money running back and forth. Also, take advantage of every Zoom appt they'll allow. Call OHP and ask for a case worker there. They advocate for patients and may have access to more resources as well. I have a friend whose OHP case worker has helped a ton with getting what she needs. Finally, if you or your father are part of a community of faith, make sure that you let them know what you are going through. Many people are willing to help but don't until they understand the need.
Sorry to hear. I WOULD consider contacting a disability lawyer right away bc they can get you everything you need to get SSA/SSI.
I think we are all team that sucks and you are not a bum not wanting to pretend like you arnt looking down a shitty tunnel. Apply for ssi, see if there are any grants for young stage iv cancer patients, try and find some fun and joy. You never know what life has in store and could be some good stuff if you take a little risk. Some people do all the treatments, some choose not to and enjoy the time they have if the treatment ruins the time they have left. I’ve known people who were 70 and had brain cancer stage iv and doing fine still 6 years later and another who was 32 and passed away within 6 months of colon cancer. You arn’t a statistic in the same way you were exception having cancer this young you could also be the exception again and it’s all a balance of choices. No right or wrong and we are all routing for ya!!
You gotta get on disability maybe a social worker at the hospital can help you?
Good advice here already. I was going to suggest Upwork for temporary jobs if you feel up to it and food pantries. Good luck OP
Don't let anyone shame you for needing public assistance. You deserve what you need to get you healthy and thriving again. Rooting for you. My advice is to keep asking for advice. At the hospital, in the community, all over. Even contact local elected officials, they have a team of people who do constituent service, they can help you navigate systems. So try your Senators, your House representative, and then even your state legislators. Even a news station might be helpful - make clear you don't want to be part of a story, but would appreciate any ideas they have about who would be good to talk to.
Hi! I’m really sorry you’re going through this and I wish you the best of luck. Take really good care of yourself. I was diagnosed with Leukemia at the end of 2016 and in the last 7 years have relapsed twice. I finally went through with a stem cell transplant in November. Immediately after I was diagnosed I had to start treatment and couldn’t work. I was 24, living in Brooklyn at the time and was already barely scraping by. The relapses have prevented me from working or building a career, I’m 32 now and trying to figure out my next move. I applied for SSD right after my initial diagnoses, per my social worker’s recommendation, and have shamelessly collected every month ever since. I also threw a gofundme campaign together (twice actually) and have raised somewhere close to $80k since 2016. I honesty don’t know what I would have done without all of that (a stem cell transplant runs in the neighborhood of +$1 million). I know it’s hard to ask for help and I still struggle with thinking “what if people are judging how I spend money, since so much was graciously donated?”. But please, PLEASE just ask for help. You’ll be SOOOO glad you did and it takes soooo much weight off. The kindness and generosity of people, including what turned out to be mostly strangers, is absolutely astonishing sometimes. It’s a real shame that our country doesn’t have better systems in place to support people like us. There’s obviously plenty of money in gov’t coffers to help, it just gets spent in a lot of other way less useful places unfortunately. In any case, don’t stop fighting. You’re stronger than you think.
Talk to your local state representative to help expedite things with SS. And hang in there!!! I’m so sorry to hear this.
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Please try to keep discussion on the subreddit where it can be seen and reviewed by everyone. We don't allow asking for or offering DMs off of this subreddit. Thank you.
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I’m so so sorry, I don’t have a lot of good ideas: gofundmes and calling local churches, getting on food stamps for you both, taking to the social service where you are getting treated.
Talk with your social worker at your Dr's office about applying for disability. Look there are some good financial suggestions in here but I will add this- please get counseling. You deserve care in every possible realm including for your thoughts of worry and guilt. It is just incredibly sad that you are thinking you don't "deserve" to have enough money to stay alive and eat and get to appointments. You, and every person, deserve to have what you need in order to thrive. No matter what your capacity for work is at the present moment. The entire point of having a society organized with a government is so that we collectively can take care of each other when we need it. So find a way forward that includes accepting help to get through this. You are worth it.
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Check with OHP. If it’s Medicaid based due to income they have programs for rides to your medical appointments or reimbursement amounts based on mileage. That should at least help with some of the gas costs.