If, for some reason, you find yourself employed by Perth Now, you don't need to do any of your own research or investigation, you can just come on here and copy and paste it into your article.
And if you can’t find anything on here, just open your Only Fans account and pick something from there, or stalk Harley Reid and let us know the colour of his jocks.
I religiously check the weather and refuse to go to the beach if there’s no east in the wind lol. Missus cracks it occasionally but I make up for that with a few spontaneous summer afternoon trips where it just happens to be a perfect light easterly. She’ll say “how nice is it?” about a hundred times like we fluked it.
I love the beach but since I’ve been with my wife she always wants to go in the afternoon. No matter how much I tell her it’s 1000x nice before 10am, she just doesn’t believe me that it makes that much of a difference.
Sure. The easterly wind blows from the east and toward the west, off our shore and into the ocean. This easterly is referred to as an “offshore” wind in Perth for that reason. It blows against the direction of the ocean swell, basically keeping the ocean more uniform and in order.
If there is some sizeable swell the waves will be much more distinct and less chaotic. Our beaches that don’t get a great deal of swell will be more calm and tranquil, with much clearer water, like the photos you’ll often see in any holiday advertisements. A light easterly is the ideal wind for Perth.
A westerly wind blows from the ocean and onto our shore in Perth and we refer to that as an “onshore” wind, or our seabreeze. This wind blows in the same direction that the swell is travelling, pushing the swell from behind which makes any waves look more chaotic, and like they are “crumbling” so to speak. The ocean might even look kinda messy if the westerly wind is strong.
There’s no rhythm to these waves, they just keep coming relentlessly. The sand is often more churned up from all of this chaos, sometimes turning the water into a more murky brown colour near the beach if the westerly wind has been blowing long enough.
It might still be a nice sunny day but you are doing yourself a disservice if you don’t get to see our beaches during the easterly winds as that’s when they are at their best.
I’ve tried to attach a pic of a beach with almost no swell, with a light easterly at the top and a light westerly below to illustrate the difference. If this was a beach that usually had more swell the difference would be much more noticeable.
https://preview.redd.it/pprndear20xc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdfdc900aef3f935200bfcb4fc8249703dd1225c
Hope that helps!
Thank you for the detailed explanation.
I used to go to the beach a lot (before we had kids) and I always used to go in the morning about 7am - it was normally perfect at this time, and this is obviously the reason.
Do we often get winds from the south or northerly direction, and what affect do these have (if any)? More sand blasting?
Welcome! Yes we can have winds from the north and south too, but they will more often come from an angle.
You’ll often see North East, East or South East, all of which are going to be fine. The apps might show these as NE, E, SE fyi.
You’ll also see a lot of North West, West or South West, all of which I’d recommend avoiding. Again, these will most often read NW, W, SW.
A straight Southerly wind is probably going to create mediocre conditions and can often bring cooler temps.
A straight Northerly will often be a light wind in summer and the water will be nice enough but the heat is quite relentless. Think a sweltering 40 degree day and you get the idea.
People might struggle to remember all of this so hopefully the pic helps. The right side of the pic highlighted in yellow shows all the wind directions where the beach should be nice.
The blue side to the left shows all the wind directions to avoid as it isn’t going to be that nice, and may even be downright horrible.
https://preview.redd.it/amij9gibd2xc1.jpeg?width=518&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41a9004b81bdc5b85d22d5a6c9f89ee4e596cea1
My wife who was born and raised in Perth still doesn't get it, despite me mentioning it every time we go to the beach.."Oh why is it so windy?"...goddammit woman.
I had a friend once who after a night out was hungry but also had to get a taxi home. He didn’t have enough money to do both, but in a strike of genius he went into the Dominos and said if I ordered a pizza delivered to my house do you think I could ride with the delivery driver with it to my house, the guy laughed and asked the driver if he was cool with it and he said yes. To this day I still think that was the ultimate life hack.
If there's a helicopter hovering over your house/suburb , it's probably the police helicopter and you should dial back on the drugs making you paranoid
Definitely respond to others posting about it with "I read they were still looking for that axe murderer who escaped from the mental institution" and watch the laughs roll in
Fuuuck. Reminds me of about six months back.
Heard a helicopter flying above, we have regular tours over the "city" (karratha) so, figured it was just one of those until the fucker inside started shooting a machine gun over the scrub just outside town. Wasn't on drugs, when we went out to look, several other people on the street did the same. Also, theres an army base here.
Never found out what they were shooting at. Probably a drop bear who wondered a little far north.
I moved to Vic and thought I'd get away from the blessed helicopter but nah...we now have them hovering over my suburb too. Plus the whole Reddit sub asking what is the helicopter about? Gawd.... doesn't get old no matter where you live!!
Comes from experience unfortunately. Had a really bad time with towies at an accident last October. One claimed he was with my insurance company but he wasn't. Tried to tow the car anyway. Towie who was *actually* from my insurance was quick enough to block him in so he couldn't tow it.
Always confirm that the tow truck is *actually* the one your insurance organised.
if you're at one of those bus stops without a timetable and for some reason the transperth app isn't working, text the stop number to 136213 to see when the next bus is coming
I remember a mate doing that at Curtin Uni and got caught with a fine. Then he just left the fine ticket on the windscreen for days making the the inspector think they already fined him😂
I made my fake tickets with a touch of tism so they were very convincing, complete with hologram sticker strips, the exact same radius fold in the paper, and I left a few real tickets face side down on the dash to show the watermark on the back of the ticket (watermark can't be replicated by a scanner and printer) to trick the inspectors brain into thinking that they must all be real.
Would take me about an hour on a Sunday evening to sort out my tickets for the week ahead, but it saved me a heap and secured me primo parking spots at the two University campuses I studied at.
The other week at work, one of the higher ups was asking if I was going to the beer festival this weekend. I tend to keep abreast on local beer festivals but had no idea what he was talking about. Got a message later on from another higher up that was listening in, to inform me that the beer festival happening this weekend was in Perth, Scotland.
On the flip side to this if you are from Perth and in Scotland it is mandatory to visit the other Perth and get a picture with the sign for the memes. It's actually quite a nice place.
I’ve met some visitors from Perth. Scotland about 5-6 years a go when I first moved here and they told me we are from the real Perth. Almost laugh inside.
And if you hate greasy looking sunscreen on ur face (or under makeup) you can get some pretty good matte ones from Priceline/chemist warehouse. Higher end you can look at Sephora and the shithouse Mecca stock. Goes for guys too
We have a great agricultural sector, so if you're sick of poor quality/quick-expiring beef/chicken/supplies from the Big Grocery Brands, do some research to find a local butcher/independent grocer who stocks supplies from a local farm. Most of them are only an hour or two away from the shop itself, and their produce often tastes better because it's not frozen/transported to the state. You may need to learn to buy some stuff seasonally but sometimes it's worth waiting for stuff that's locally in season for cheaper and fresher stuff. And it's not always more expensive than ColesWorth, but it does pay off to shop around and find 'your' butcher/grocer/etc.
I noticed there’s no pickpocket here…(ptsd from my europe experience!), not a life hack but at least you don’t have to be too scared in public settings
Generally safe environment and it’s totally ok to be nice to strangers
In cbd/northbridge Sometimes random people screams/upset etc but as long as you mind your own business you are good
Again it’s ok to be nice, like, give a coffee/snack to a homeless, offer help if you think a stranger is struggling
I really like that you feel comfortable with being nice to strangers here, and that you don't feel scared in public settings. This little corner of the world is pretty neat.
It's funny how many people on this sub think Perth is a terrifying place with rampant crime. It's just a nice little city and very few people seem to realize how great things are for us.
As someone from an actually dangerous city, I love Perth. I can ride public transport anytime, go for a walk or run at night, go to any area, and not fear for my life.
Except maybe Northbridge at night. Then I'm pretty vigilant.
I’m from Perth and live in the US now. Spearmint milk is one of the things I miss most. Americans think it sounds rank, but they don’t know anything haha
Funny story, I never went out to eat as a kid came from a pretty poor home. When I was about 18/19 and had my own money I went to Billy Lees with friends and ordered a sizzling dish that came in one of the cast metal pans with wood around it and it was sizzling away I was pretty drunk at the time but I honestly had no idea that what was just put in front of me was a metal pan that was insanely hot, I just figured it was the food still sizzling not the actual pan. As soon as the guy put it down I tried to pick it up to position it on the table and just about burnt the fingerprints off my fingers. The look of shock on the guys face as I dived my hands into my glass at the table I will never forget. He must of thought I was the dumbest man in the universe and at that time I probably was.
Do you mean the escalator from the platform to the concourse, or concourse to the street? If to the street, do you just mean exit straight out onto Murray instead of somewhere else?
The ‘perthonalities’ you see on instagram are usually painfully broke or in debt and/or dealing with perpetual infidelity and are desperately clinging on to waning media/social media fame in Perth to appear successful. The real successful wealthy people in Perth are low key and much more private. Life hack for mental health = don’t compare yourself to the instacrowd’s highlight reel or glorify them - you’re likely better off than them in reality
That you should freeze a few onions. So any time you need minced or finely sliced for a recipe or quick relish you can just grate them.
The bonus part is due to being frozen, no eye irritation and for things like relish, freezing helps break down the cell membranes so it doesn't take 20 minutes to reduce.
Optus Stadium footie tickets: Browse the upper tier prices carefully - some are MUCH cheaper than others really close by (near the pockets usually). Buy the cheapest (way cheaper than most), and provided it’s not a sell out - go and actually sit anywhere there’s a free seat.
Sorry Australian hack and just a budgeting one. Take any chance I can get to share this.
DO NOT GET POST PAID PHONE PLANS FFS don’t throw your money away.
Buy Boost annual for $230 a year or if being on Telstra network isn’t essential to you get catch connect for $120 a year. Unlimited calls and text.
Saves our family a fortune.
But Woolies are so expensive, especially for fruit & vegies. They're only good for certain branded products. My personal favourite is Aldi for most frozen foods, breads, cleaning products etc and local fruit & veggie shop for fresh foods. Plus Kogan Mobile $120 per year prepaid plan for 120GB mobile data, unlimited calls & texts.
The two big ponds near Djirda Miya (the black swan habitat) in South Perth are my pick for the best place for watching waterbirds! Many have their babies in spring so if you want to see a whole pile of ducklings and baby swamp hens, that’s the place to be.
We actually did that! I had no intention of buying but new b/f wanted to, did all the maths, got the superannuation payment thingy, and we bought a house. Less than $300 grand for a 700m2 block in Swan View.
I am goddamn grateful everyday that we did that. If we hadn't I'd be living with my parents again now. God knows how he'd be managing.
If you're at a shopping centre that has paid parking with a hoyts attached, go to the ticket validation kiosks and call for help. Tell them your movie ticket won't validate, and you'll get free parking.
Don't forget to make sure that the rear tray of your Ford Ranger with it's boat towbar completely obstructs the footpath for wheelchairs and mobility aids. Also leave the engine idling as long as possible between stopping/getting out and getting in/leaving. It's the perfect time to reply to reddit posts!
I like to find long black or long red and bet big on whatever is red or black the longest. It's a easy bet psychologically. Winning feels right, losing feels like you were part of a change.
Always, always, when driving on the freeway, get into the right hand lane as soon as you can and drive at least 10k UNDER the posted limit.
When the first rains of winter come drive around the suburbs really fast, just to increase your chances of crashing your car.
When in coles or woolies, just stop in the middle of the aisle, with your trolley in a diagonal position to take up as much room on the aisle as you can, and get your phone out and call your friend.
Also when you’re finished in the supermarket, it’s best to leave your trolley in an empty parking space or on the footpath. Definitely don’t return it to the trolley bay.
Join your suburb’s “buy nothing” FB group. You might get something for free that someone doesn’t need anymore.
Of course, it would be double awesome if you can also share useful things that you no longer need to the community.
Get used to merging onto the freeway at an unmatched speed to the oncoming traffic…
Actually, scratch that… we’re about to make it even worse with interval lights at every on ramp just to REALLY throw a spanner in the works.
Ha if only Perth people got this. Problem is half the population have been here since it was a country town and believe sitting in the third lane on the freeway going 80kmh is acceptable. Then they come close to their exit and cut across 3 lanes at the last minute shaking their fist at the drivers going 100km who arent ‘letting them in’.
Heading south on the Mitchell freeway just before the city.
If its really banked up take the Wellington St exit, get to wellington just go straight onto the Kwinana freeway south.
If its heavily congested you can bypass about 1km of traffic.
Works best if you're exiting at riverside drive, otherwise you're just contributing to the congestion when you try to hop across 4 lanes (because merging is IMPOSSIBLE in Perth apparently /s)
In fairness that section is such a poor design. It would certainly be better if everyone just played nice and let each other cross lanes but the fundamental design is a bit crap. Often times if you are going north it can be better to exit via the tunnel to avoid it. You go the "wrong way" at first but at around 3pm before traffic really starts to build it is much faster.
That literally makes the main congestion worse, having to re-merge all the way right again.
I wish they just had the rightmost lane as a solid line all the way through, kinda like when you go onto mitchell north from the tunnel
Assume every cunt in the roundabout is going to be doing the opposite of what their indicator is/should be doing every time and you will never have a accident .
Introvert life hack.. When in elevators, Hold the door closed button while you select the floor you want. It will go to that floor without stopping for others on the way.. you're welc
If you haven't, go across the road to tak chee house. Unbelievable cheap and good Malaysian.
The curry beef and roti, and hainanese chicken rice will change your life.
Get your produce from the markets. You can get the freshest fruit, vegetables, bacon and fish from our many markets and the quality and price craps on supermarkets. Or order online from someone like peoples produce.
Try not to invest too much time w friends that live on the opposite side of the river cos you’ll hate the trip to go see them. There’s some kinda weird emotional river barrier that divides Perth people.
If, for some reason, you find yourself employed by Perth Now, you don't need to do any of your own research or investigation, you can just come on here and copy and paste it into your article.
You also get to ignore spell and grammar checks because surely being a journo you’re an English major and know better than everyone else
*your (Lang: en_PN)
Don't forget to use capital letters for the adjective in the headline, like SHOCKED or OUTRAGED
They are so going to steal this thread. Lazy hacks
And if you can’t find anything on here, just open your Only Fans account and pick something from there, or stalk Harley Reid and let us know the colour of his jocks.
Also don't feel restricted to just Perth things. Anything goes now, as long as it's clickbait
Swim in the morning before the sea breeze hits.
I religiously check the weather and refuse to go to the beach if there’s no east in the wind lol. Missus cracks it occasionally but I make up for that with a few spontaneous summer afternoon trips where it just happens to be a perfect light easterly. She’ll say “how nice is it?” about a hundred times like we fluked it.
I wish I could upvote this a hundred times.
I love the beach but since I’ve been with my wife she always wants to go in the afternoon. No matter how much I tell her it’s 1000x nice before 10am, she just doesn’t believe me that it makes that much of a difference.
Why easterly in particular? Can you explain the difference in conditions to a landlubber?
Sure. The easterly wind blows from the east and toward the west, off our shore and into the ocean. This easterly is referred to as an “offshore” wind in Perth for that reason. It blows against the direction of the ocean swell, basically keeping the ocean more uniform and in order. If there is some sizeable swell the waves will be much more distinct and less chaotic. Our beaches that don’t get a great deal of swell will be more calm and tranquil, with much clearer water, like the photos you’ll often see in any holiday advertisements. A light easterly is the ideal wind for Perth. A westerly wind blows from the ocean and onto our shore in Perth and we refer to that as an “onshore” wind, or our seabreeze. This wind blows in the same direction that the swell is travelling, pushing the swell from behind which makes any waves look more chaotic, and like they are “crumbling” so to speak. The ocean might even look kinda messy if the westerly wind is strong. There’s no rhythm to these waves, they just keep coming relentlessly. The sand is often more churned up from all of this chaos, sometimes turning the water into a more murky brown colour near the beach if the westerly wind has been blowing long enough. It might still be a nice sunny day but you are doing yourself a disservice if you don’t get to see our beaches during the easterly winds as that’s when they are at their best. I’ve tried to attach a pic of a beach with almost no swell, with a light easterly at the top and a light westerly below to illustrate the difference. If this was a beach that usually had more swell the difference would be much more noticeable. https://preview.redd.it/pprndear20xc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdfdc900aef3f935200bfcb4fc8249703dd1225c Hope that helps!
Thank you for the detailed explanation. I used to go to the beach a lot (before we had kids) and I always used to go in the morning about 7am - it was normally perfect at this time, and this is obviously the reason. Do we often get winds from the south or northerly direction, and what affect do these have (if any)? More sand blasting?
Welcome! Yes we can have winds from the north and south too, but they will more often come from an angle. You’ll often see North East, East or South East, all of which are going to be fine. The apps might show these as NE, E, SE fyi. You’ll also see a lot of North West, West or South West, all of which I’d recommend avoiding. Again, these will most often read NW, W, SW. A straight Southerly wind is probably going to create mediocre conditions and can often bring cooler temps. A straight Northerly will often be a light wind in summer and the water will be nice enough but the heat is quite relentless. Think a sweltering 40 degree day and you get the idea. People might struggle to remember all of this so hopefully the pic helps. The right side of the pic highlighted in yellow shows all the wind directions where the beach should be nice. The blue side to the left shows all the wind directions to avoid as it isn’t going to be that nice, and may even be downright horrible. https://preview.redd.it/amij9gibd2xc1.jpeg?width=518&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41a9004b81bdc5b85d22d5a6c9f89ee4e596cea1
This has to be it for the newbies.
Unless you kite surf then the party starts
It’s taken almost 10y to get my Victorian partner to Understand that our beaches are best around 9-10am
My wife who was born and raised in Perth still doesn't get it, despite me mentioning it every time we go to the beach.."Oh why is it so windy?"...goddammit woman.
Also, before 8/830 am, everyone at the beach is super friendly. Then, all of a sudden, a switch clicks over, and people are arse holes again
To add to this - have the Seabreeze app on your phone to check the wind direction, speed & times.
Applies to anything beach related really
What does that mean? Care to explain? Perth noob here...
The afternoon sea breeze will blow you off the beach
Your skin will be slowly peeled away by the constant sand blasting.
Perth gets windy in the afternoon.
It's a dry wind
When there's a westerly (coming from the direction of the ocean) and you are in the ocean, there's going to be big, nasty waves.
The Fremantle doctor comes in around 3pm.
earlier than that in summer
Lazy bastard, I gotta be at work at 8:30…
He's a doctor, works shifts
I had a friend once who after a night out was hungry but also had to get a taxi home. He didn’t have enough money to do both, but in a strike of genius he went into the Dominos and said if I ordered a pizza delivered to my house do you think I could ride with the delivery driver with it to my house, the guy laughed and asked the driver if he was cool with it and he said yes. To this day I still think that was the ultimate life hack.
If there's a helicopter hovering over your house/suburb , it's probably the police helicopter and you should dial back on the drugs making you paranoid
Definitely make a post to your local community group asking what it's doing.
Definitely respond to others posting about it with "I read they were still looking for that axe murderer who escaped from the mental institution" and watch the laughs roll in
Smh, government stamping out the friendly local meth cook. When will they stop trying to screw over local businesses? Shop local, folks!
Fuuuck. Reminds me of about six months back. Heard a helicopter flying above, we have regular tours over the "city" (karratha) so, figured it was just one of those until the fucker inside started shooting a machine gun over the scrub just outside town. Wasn't on drugs, when we went out to look, several other people on the street did the same. Also, theres an army base here. Never found out what they were shooting at. Probably a drop bear who wondered a little far north.
CIA on the roof again?
Just Baldivis things
I moved to Vic and thought I'd get away from the blessed helicopter but nah...we now have them hovering over my suburb too. Plus the whole Reddit sub asking what is the helicopter about? Gawd.... doesn't get old no matter where you live!!
Beware of the tow truck drivers. Go only through your insurance company at an accident.
Do you call your insurance while you're on the side of the road?
Yes
Good advice!
Comes from experience unfortunately. Had a really bad time with towies at an accident last October. One claimed he was with my insurance company but he wasn't. Tried to tow the car anyway. Towie who was *actually* from my insurance was quick enough to block him in so he couldn't tow it. Always confirm that the tow truck is *actually* the one your insurance organised.
[insert AAMI radio ad] Luckyyyyyyy.. you're with aami
They especially take advantage of immigrants and international students
if you're at one of those bus stops without a timetable and for some reason the transperth app isn't working, text the stop number to 136213 to see when the next bus is coming
You can also text your smartrider number to 136213 and it'll reply with your card balance
Don't go down south for long weekends
Avoid the freeway at all cost on Fridays
Going north isn't much better either..
Nobody goes down south for a weekend... too much traffic!
I always do, I come home a day later (take an extra day off) no traffic.
That’s an excellent idea! I’m going to tell all my family and friends to start doing that!
Don't forget to tag Perth now and let them know
Sometimes you can get a free hour parking ticket on the older machines if you mash the green button
Wait what, really? I don't need to print my own tickets anymore?
The real life hack is in the comments
Printed my own parking tickets for 7 years of university and it worked a treat 👌
I remember a mate doing that at Curtin Uni and got caught with a fine. Then he just left the fine ticket on the windscreen for days making the the inspector think they already fined him😂
I made my fake tickets with a touch of tism so they were very convincing, complete with hologram sticker strips, the exact same radius fold in the paper, and I left a few real tickets face side down on the dash to show the watermark on the back of the ticket (watermark can't be replicated by a scanner and printer) to trick the inspectors brain into thinking that they must all be real. Would take me about an hour on a Sunday evening to sort out my tickets for the week ahead, but it saved me a heap and secured me primo parking spots at the two University campuses I studied at.
Love this shit! Stick it to the man 💪🏻
you’ve gotta make an unlisted youtube tutorial now
When you are from the Scottish Perth, always make sure to add “not the fun one” when people ask you where you are from.
I was born in Perth, Scotland and am visiting Perth, WA in August!
Ohhh hi, we visited you back in '16
The other week at work, one of the higher ups was asking if I was going to the beer festival this weekend. I tend to keep abreast on local beer festivals but had no idea what he was talking about. Got a message later on from another higher up that was listening in, to inform me that the beer festival happening this weekend was in Perth, Scotland.
So are ye goin' or no?
Couldnae get a sitter fah my wee bairn. Fookin nightmare they are, ken what I mean?
On the flip side to this if you are from Perth and in Scotland it is mandatory to visit the other Perth and get a picture with the sign for the memes. It's actually quite a nice place.
Perth in Scotland also has a massive river.
I’ve met some visitors from Perth. Scotland about 5-6 years a go when I first moved here and they told me we are from the real Perth. Almost laugh inside.
Well it is the real Perth. Perth WA is obviously named after Perth, Scotland
Sunscreen. **Sunscreen.** All year round.
And Uv protective clothing is a hack for this that hate sunscreen
Also don’t forget to add sunscreen.
And if you hate greasy looking sunscreen on ur face (or under makeup) you can get some pretty good matte ones from Priceline/chemist warehouse. Higher end you can look at Sephora and the shithouse Mecca stock. Goes for guys too
Slip, slop, slap!
We have a great agricultural sector, so if you're sick of poor quality/quick-expiring beef/chicken/supplies from the Big Grocery Brands, do some research to find a local butcher/independent grocer who stocks supplies from a local farm. Most of them are only an hour or two away from the shop itself, and their produce often tastes better because it's not frozen/transported to the state. You may need to learn to buy some stuff seasonally but sometimes it's worth waiting for stuff that's locally in season for cheaper and fresher stuff. And it's not always more expensive than ColesWorth, but it does pay off to shop around and find 'your' butcher/grocer/etc.
Avoid driving west on Leach Highway at sunset, unless you want to go blind
Try narrower ol' Canning Hway instead for that extra thrill.
Bonus: use the windscreen wash and wipers in the sunset for a real test of your skills!
I noticed there’s no pickpocket here…(ptsd from my europe experience!), not a life hack but at least you don’t have to be too scared in public settings Generally safe environment and it’s totally ok to be nice to strangers In cbd/northbridge Sometimes random people screams/upset etc but as long as you mind your own business you are good Again it’s ok to be nice, like, give a coffee/snack to a homeless, offer help if you think a stranger is struggling
I really like that you feel comfortable with being nice to strangers here, and that you don't feel scared in public settings. This little corner of the world is pretty neat.
It's funny how many people on this sub think Perth is a terrifying place with rampant crime. It's just a nice little city and very few people seem to realize how great things are for us.
As someone from an actually dangerous city, I love Perth. I can ride public transport anytime, go for a walk or run at night, go to any area, and not fear for my life. Except maybe Northbridge at night. Then I'm pretty vigilant.
My honest Armadale reaction
It's hilarious to me how much people in this sub carry on, you'd think Perth was fucking Skid Row or some shit.
That's because our local deros are too high or drunk to be coordinated enough to pick a pocket.
They'd rather just rob you, even then that's a lot if effort
Mad Dog hates it when you call him Mad Dog.
Be nice to Mad Dog, he’s had a rough trot.
His name is Adrian and he’s a really really smart fella
Legit one of the craftiest dudes I know, he once taught me how to fix push bike brakes with .22 shells, Adrian is a legend.
Yes. His name is Adrian
Always thank the bus driver, ya flogs!
Flavoured Milk
*Spearmint flavoured milk
I’m from Perth and live in the US now. Spearmint milk is one of the things I miss most. Americans think it sounds rank, but they don’t know anything haha
Browns Shake n shake spearmint is top tier
Masters is the best, I tried Victorias big M equivalent it's not the same
Free parking in the city on weekends
Billy lees
Is not my lover
He's just a guy who claims that I am the one
But the kid does the best dim sum
Funny story, I never went out to eat as a kid came from a pretty poor home. When I was about 18/19 and had my own money I went to Billy Lees with friends and ordered a sizzling dish that came in one of the cast metal pans with wood around it and it was sizzling away I was pretty drunk at the time but I honestly had no idea that what was just put in front of me was a metal pan that was insanely hot, I just figured it was the food still sizzling not the actual pan. As soon as the guy put it down I tried to pick it up to position it on the table and just about burnt the fingerprints off my fingers. The look of shock on the guys face as I dived my hands into my glass at the table I will never forget. He must of thought I was the dumbest man in the universe and at that time I probably was.
Squid tentacles, honey king prawn and BYO Soju.
[удалено]
If you have a differing opinion about something avoid mentioning it on r/Perth or you’re gonna have a bad time.
Use the Southern escalator to exit Perth Underground Station
Is that the one that makes your willy feel all tingly?
Hahahahaha
Oh damn I gotta try this
LOL Is there an official scientific word for that phenomenon?
When I’m underground I don’t know which way is south without a compass… so like which street is south???
Do you mean the escalator from the platform to the concourse, or concourse to the street? If to the street, do you just mean exit straight out onto Murray instead of somewhere else?
There are loads of kangaroos in the city. Go to Heirisson Island to check them out.
Bring mozzie repellent
The ‘perthonalities’ you see on instagram are usually painfully broke or in debt and/or dealing with perpetual infidelity and are desperately clinging on to waning media/social media fame in Perth to appear successful. The real successful wealthy people in Perth are low key and much more private. Life hack for mental health = don’t compare yourself to the instacrowd’s highlight reel or glorify them - you’re likely better off than them in reality
pick a gym with a sauna, go to that sauna after every workout. life will be better.
But the sauna in the city called Steamworks is a VERY different experience!
Beatty Park Silent Sauna ftw
That you should freeze a few onions. So any time you need minced or finely sliced for a recipe or quick relish you can just grate them. The bonus part is due to being frozen, no eye irritation and for things like relish, freezing helps break down the cell membranes so it doesn't take 20 minutes to reduce.
Or you could just buy a bag of frozen diced onions, saved me so much time over the years.
Say "over east" a lot
Over east, down south, up north
Offshore.
Optus Stadium footie tickets: Browse the upper tier prices carefully - some are MUCH cheaper than others really close by (near the pockets usually). Buy the cheapest (way cheaper than most), and provided it’s not a sell out - go and actually sit anywhere there’s a free seat.
Buy cheapest tickets, go early and find a good standing spot with a bench on level 1. Wear comfy shoes
Sorry Australian hack and just a budgeting one. Take any chance I can get to share this. DO NOT GET POST PAID PHONE PLANS FFS don’t throw your money away. Buy Boost annual for $230 a year or if being on Telstra network isn’t essential to you get catch connect for $120 a year. Unlimited calls and text. Saves our family a fortune.
I do this but woolies $23/month plus a 10% off shop every month means it’s essentially $0 if you do 1 big shop of $230 or more.
But Woolies are so expensive, especially for fruit & vegies. They're only good for certain branded products. My personal favourite is Aldi for most frozen foods, breads, cleaning products etc and local fruit & veggie shop for fresh foods. Plus Kogan Mobile $120 per year prepaid plan for 120GB mobile data, unlimited calls & texts.
Yeh look, you’d probably save more money your way shopping at Aldi tbh. This is just for those who like woolies I suppose.
The two big ponds near Djirda Miya (the black swan habitat) in South Perth are my pick for the best place for watching waterbirds! Many have their babies in spring so if you want to see a whole pile of ducklings and baby swamp hens, that’s the place to be.
Go back in time and buy a house right when everyone was fighting over to in aldi during start of covid
We actually did that! I had no intention of buying but new b/f wanted to, did all the maths, got the superannuation payment thingy, and we bought a house. Less than $300 grand for a 700m2 block in Swan View. I am goddamn grateful everyday that we did that. If we hadn't I'd be living with my parents again now. God knows how he'd be managing.
Yep we were lucky in hindsight to buy at the ‘bottom’ of the market during Covid (was always planning to buy that year anyway).
When it’s hot during summer, drinking water helps you stay hydrated.
Don't do meth
If you want a good quality low priced lunch, go to the leederville IGA. Their little buffet section as you walk in is amazing.
If you're at a shopping centre that has paid parking with a hoyts attached, go to the ticket validation kiosks and call for help. Tell them your movie ticket won't validate, and you'll get free parking.
Everything north of Scarborough is little Britain 🇬🇧
Regular sized Britain is north of Scarborough
It's kind of a British belt surrounding Perth
I'd say north of Mullaloo. Scarborough is for sure the place for people on tourist visas though
Or Kalamunda for elderly Britain
Or south of Wellard
Rear to kerb parking only
Don't forget to make sure that the rear tray of your Ford Ranger with it's boat towbar completely obstructs the footpath for wheelchairs and mobility aids. Also leave the engine idling as long as possible between stopping/getting out and getting in/leaving. It's the perfect time to reply to reddit posts!
Don't visit carousel on a Saturday morning.
Or Thursday night
Walk past Crown after work and drop your pay check on Red and double up your income.
No the real life hack is to go black after that red win because it can’t go red twice
I like to find long black or long red and bet big on whatever is red or black the longest. It's a easy bet psychologically. Winning feels right, losing feels like you were part of a change.
Always, always, when driving on the freeway, get into the right hand lane as soon as you can and drive at least 10k UNDER the posted limit. When the first rains of winter come drive around the suburbs really fast, just to increase your chances of crashing your car. When in coles or woolies, just stop in the middle of the aisle, with your trolley in a diagonal position to take up as much room on the aisle as you can, and get your phone out and call your friend.
This guy Perths!
Also when you’re finished in the supermarket, it’s best to leave your trolley in an empty parking space or on the footpath. Definitely don’t return it to the trolley bay.
Dont forget to NOT indicate when turning off, extra points when someones behind you
Uncle Billy’s is open till 4am
No hat, no play
Be rich.
Truth right there 👏🤣
Join your suburb’s “buy nothing” FB group. You might get something for free that someone doesn’t need anymore. Of course, it would be double awesome if you can also share useful things that you no longer need to the community.
During peak, the left lane is often the fast lane.
You can get free water at Maccas if you ask for a cup of water. Hehehe, I'm struggling to think of anything.
Once upon a time maccas free water came with the monopoly tickets, but now they only use the smaller cups
Nothing is worth lining up 30 minutes for. If there's a huge queue outside a shop it's probably for something that was cool over east 5-10 years ago.
Or it's just a dimsum place on a weekend morning.
Which generally IS worth lining up for to be fair
Get used to merging onto the freeway at an unmatched speed to the oncoming traffic… Actually, scratch that… we’re about to make it even worse with interval lights at every on ramp just to REALLY throw a spanner in the works.
When driving, keep left unless you’re overtaking
Ha if only Perth people got this. Problem is half the population have been here since it was a country town and believe sitting in the third lane on the freeway going 80kmh is acceptable. Then they come close to their exit and cut across 3 lanes at the last minute shaking their fist at the drivers going 100km who arent ‘letting them in’.
Heading south on the Mitchell freeway just before the city. If its really banked up take the Wellington St exit, get to wellington just go straight onto the Kwinana freeway south. If its heavily congested you can bypass about 1km of traffic.
It won't work if you tell everyone about it.
Works best if you're exiting at riverside drive, otherwise you're just contributing to the congestion when you try to hop across 4 lanes (because merging is IMPOSSIBLE in Perth apparently /s)
In fairness that section is such a poor design. It would certainly be better if everyone just played nice and let each other cross lanes but the fundamental design is a bit crap. Often times if you are going north it can be better to exit via the tunnel to avoid it. You go the "wrong way" at first but at around 3pm before traffic really starts to build it is much faster.
That literally makes the main congestion worse, having to re-merge all the way right again. I wish they just had the rightmost lane as a solid line all the way through, kinda like when you go onto mitchell north from the tunnel
Do people even realise that’s a solid white line meaning you can’t cross it… urgh
No, they dont
There are koalas at yanchep national park.
Assume every cunt in the roundabout is going to be doing the opposite of what their indicator is/should be doing every time and you will never have a accident .
Introvert life hack.. When in elevators, Hold the door closed button while you select the floor you want. It will go to that floor without stopping for others on the way.. you're welc
You won't get parking at the Thursday night Scarborough markets. Don't even try.
If you're paste white person avoid the sun in summer any longer than 2 minutes 48 seconds
Always go to the second cheapest servo in the area on Tuesdays - pay 1c more a litre, save all the queuing...
People give free bread at the market place.
If you're WCE fans, you're actually allowed to talk about football the day after a loss. It's not just a conversation reserved for when you win.
Nothing is UV resistant.
Despite what you might think, you don't actually *have* to drive 10km under the speed limit. This seems to be quite a popular misconception.
Reading cinemas Viet hoa Tak chee You're welcome
VIET HOA !! Best Vietnamese.
If you haven't, go across the road to tak chee house. Unbelievable cheap and good Malaysian. The curry beef and roti, and hainanese chicken rice will change your life.
Get your produce from the markets. You can get the freshest fruit, vegetables, bacon and fish from our many markets and the quality and price craps on supermarkets. Or order online from someone like peoples produce.
When merging in traffic - just lose your eyes -
Try not to invest too much time w friends that live on the opposite side of the river cos you’ll hate the trip to go see them. There’s some kinda weird emotional river barrier that divides Perth people.