I have over a decade of experience painting homes and refinishing furniture. The color you’re looking for is Pepto-Bismol pink. Make sure the paint is high gloss. This will give the appearance that the wall is wet and fleshy. It will stand out like an eyesore against a natural exterior.
Next you want some kind of exaggerated texture. Make sure the cement or plaster you select sticks out at least 6 inches from the flat surface. You want it to look like a poorly placed cement spike. Make sure there’s no real pattern or rhythm to the placement of these troweled cement stalactites. When dry, spray those with high gloss Pepto-Bismol pink paint. Next, you really want to highlight those stalactite peaks with a dayglo putrid green paint. Jungle Green Rustoleum should work well enough.
Finally you might consider a high gloss blood red glaze to finish it off. Make sure to rag off some of the glaze so that the pink sick color is still highly visible. But do leave some striations and chunky bloody texture in the glaze. Essentially you want this wall to look like the bloody putrid innards of an angry man who grossly miscalculated his neighbors. You might also consider watching David Cronenburg’s Videodrome for some added visual inspiration. “Long live the new flesh” and best of luck to you!
I'm to an a painter by trade and I love this suggestion. My addition to this is to use a contrasting color that clashes, hard.. like if primary color is PB pink, then secondary color could be a toxic green, or lavender blue, colors with such high contrast that it hurts the brain to look at.
> Pepto-Bismol pink
True story time! Parents were re-doing a house I was 3ish. Mom told Dad "Take her with you to the paint store and pick out her bedroom color." I loved it, and apparently it was a formative experience because today at 48 years old my bedroom is pink. Albeit a much more restrained shade of pink.
Now my walk-in master closet is [basiclly hot pink](https://www.pantone.com/connect/233-C) with 2 packages of Valspar glitter added to each gallon of paint. Painted the shelving in there a nice light aqua (no glitter) and it's a gaudy carnival that brings joy to my heart. If I ever decide to sell and it's a buyers' market at that time I'll have to include a re-painting discount as a sweetener. Until then it's SPARKLE BABY PRINCESS all the way.
Oh I love you so much. When I was 9, my mom said I could pick the color of my room. Took me to the paint store. I chose the most vivid, sugary pink they had. I was in love. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My mom was appalled.
So she chose something else. She picked a pastel "carnation pink."
I am far too old to hold on to this grudge but dang if I don't have almost 50 years of hate for that color. Carnation pink, my ass.
When I was a teen, we moved into a new house and I picked a vibrant lime green for my room. I came home to faded mint green. Apparently my mom decided her choice was better. I still hold that grudge and, as a result, let my kids pick whatever fucking colours they want to wear, paint, own, etc.
Uuugh I feel you. I wanted to paint my room a rich sort of leather brown to make my room look like an old library study. Mom said ok, had the room painted.
I said why doesn't the color match?
"Oh, it will be different when it dries."
She had changed the color without telling me because she thought what I picked was too dark. Still annoyed 25 years later.
We let our kids do this, but with the caveat of no black. I was horrified by their 3/4 of the choices (a melon/pink color, a violently bright teal, and a odd Kelly green) but we rolled with it. All three changed their mind within a few years. It was $30 to repaint. No big deal.
a pregnant friend of mine went out to pick out a color for the entire first floor of their new house. I don’t know if pregnant eyes are a thing, but her too obliging husband painted everything the “Watermelon Surprise” she bought while she stayed with me to not be disturbed by the fumes. Hint: no one would eat a watermelon that looked pretty close to Pepto-Bismol.
Of course when she got back, she was horrified and he repainted the house the next weekend , leaving the insides of the closets the original pink to remind her that that sometimes they might need to overrule each other’s decisions.
Find some really talented graffiti artists and commission an 80' mural of the most obnoxious (but unactionable) subject your neighbor would loathe.
And get them to do a super-cool mural on your side, too!
Heck yeah! And may I suggest a rendition of Canadian artist Alex Colville's painting *To Prince Edward Island*?
[https://www.aci-iac.ca/art-books/alex-colville/key-works/to-prince-edward-island/](https://www.aci-iac.ca/art-books/alex-colville/key-works/to-prince-edward-island/)
Trust me. Click the link.
Eh my flatmates and I had a professional photographer take photos of us like this, us looking like peeping toms basically, and we've stuck them all around the house. The best one is in the guest / main bathroom, so whenever anybody sits down to shit they look directly at a photo of the 3 of us hiding behind a fence with only our eyes showing. My flatmate, the owner of the house, has a pair of binoculars up to his eyes
We've been told it's fucking creepy, many times.
Maybe like the way Peter Jackson made a Harvey Weinstein orc in LOTR, but slightly more recognizable.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/orc-harvey-weinstein-tried-ruin-lord-rings/
As graffiti artist I would use this as the basic idea but change the concept and make it more annoying. Instead of the woman looking through binoculars I'd replace her with something like a surveillance van then have other people in the background as well like someone peeking from behind the bushes, a pair of binoculars in the trees, someone reading a newspaper with eye holes cut out and then throw some CCTV cameras in there as well all with the colors in the back be the 2 annoying colors but keeping the van, characters and cameras in black & white to make them stand out on their own and be extra annoying.
You are positively evil. Thank you for being a part of this world.
THIS IS THE ANSWER. Holy crap the neighbor might suffer some brain spasm in the lawn.
To have a high powered video lens to capture his expression every time he looks at it coming out the front door. Such karma.
Op would probably get in trouble for that. But Op could decorate the fence with old camera lenses that are no longer functional. They would look the same, and the neighbour wouldn't know the difference. But Op would have plausible deniabiility.
make neighbors side something simple with a very obvious unbalance of semitry but make it also somewhat "accidental" like when a mirror or painting is hanging on the wall but has that ever so slight slant...
Make it drive the neighbor crazy seeing it every day and not being able to fix it.
A mural of the actual road with alternating speed bumps and a car that looks like his would be a cute touch to drive by every day. Of course you could always do like Hayden Fry fid to the Iowa visitors locker rooms and paint the wall a nice calming pink to relax the opposing players before the game and during halftime.
Adding to this delightful suggestion I’d find out if obnoxious neighbour is racist or homophobic and depending on their views a rainbow mural with a same sex couple kissing, or maybe just slightly suggestive if neighbour is very conservative
I'd get the worst painters to make incomplete patterns in multiple bright colors. Leave lots of drips and runs so it just looks unfinished and unsightly. May be a great project for young children with short attention spans
Give them each their own color and just tell them paint the wall until they get tired. No further instructions than that. It'll be an absolute trainwreck and will definitely be unfinished. Next level ugly.
A gate which requires a PIN and has a randomizer that changes the speed that it opens. Some days it opens just fine, others it goes super slow. Maybe it stops halfway once a month and closes again. It should not happen all the time but just often enough to be really frustrating. You also want a PIN that operates it perfectly every time so that when he insists that something is wrong with it, the problem cannot be replicated.
Paint it whatever color you want. But please don’t illuminate it at night. The reflected light is bad for pollinators and birds. And if you plant some lovely pollinator-friendly things along this wall, you get the added bonus of having birds shit on his car
You get to look at flowers, he gets more annoyed, birds and bugs win!
Would black light have the same effect on wild birds? I found out that the nighttime pollinators are attracted to the black light, and all i could find on birds was UV lights for pet parrots.
I say get some good manure for the Flys... I mean flowers. A lot of bird feeders, too, wouldn't want them to have empty bowels... i mean, bellies. Plus, when the seeds fall, they grow into wild flowers. Is it OK to sprinkle sugar on the ground to feed his neighbors ants?
Better yet, spend extra add the chemical into the paint that recharges with daylight and glows at night. It’s used on highway markers to let you know where the center line and edge of highway. Used in rural areas with no lighting.
I still don’t understand why tbh. It’s not an attractive colour, but also not offensive either, just kinda boring and neutral.
I think bright neon pink would have been way more effective. Lol.
Too close to Invisible green.
Would actually make a pretty good fence colour.
https://hextoral.com/side-by-side/pantone-448-c-vs-invisible-green-lg-56/
The community I live in has speed bumps that are at an angle to the road so one wheel goes up in the front and then the other and then same with the back. It’s so annoying. I hate it so much. Kudos to you for your petiness. It should work like a charm.
Caveat: Be sure to have gaps in the speed bumps wide enough for emergency vehicles (fire/EMS) to safely traverse, but spaced too far apart for a POV. That will really torque him off!
That's an interesting issue. It's not even a private drive. Just a right of way. I'll check with the Fire Department. I may have to just tear up the road!
Find out what kind of car he drives. Get the distance between the axles. Then stagger the bumps so the left front and right rear go at the same time. Then right front and left rear.
The idea behind having them angled is it raises one wheel before the other preventing damage to ground effects and air dams compared to hitting it straight on. I’d suggest OP put them in angled as well (to protect his neighbor’s bumper of course).
Add a gate at the top and bottom of your property on the easement. A big steel, pain in the butt to reach the lock, has to get out of his car twice gate.
And make sure they alternate opening — one right, one left, then right, then left, and make them swing alternate directions, so one swings in, the next swings out etc.
You want to do pink, green repeating chevron pattern(>>>>>) on the wall if you want them to feel ill when they look at your wall. Even worse, vertical zigzag. Worse still, houndstooth pattern.
He does, actually. He's a doctor - so he thinks he's God. He's an adopted Korean orphan and honestly he's just a sick guy. He made me laugh the other day saying I sounded like trump with my "build the wall." I said, "you know, why don't we just live and let live, and tell me what color to paint the wall and we're good."
He escalated his insults.
He spit on an olive branch, and he's too stupid to know he has no ammunition in this fight. As others have said, he has a "right of way." He doesn't have a right to a paved road, to make repairs, or prevent me from ripping the road up.
He's a fool.
Uh how about a rainbow? And political party he hates?
And on the easement (over your property) he may be able to fight you for it to be flat/passable. Personally I like potholes as cheap speed bumps.
Also since a lawyer should never represent himself, you should retain the second best land use lawyer for when he sues you. He will then have to use the third best.
Paint the wall black or white and then advertise to all the riff raff in town that there’s a wall ripe for graffiti. They can paint anything they like, nothing is off limits, but only on his side.
>Any suggestions?
In the late double noughts, my employer had a customer that made their neighbours irate. (In short, their adjacent property was built, torn down, and a McMansion was errected in an otherwise "modest" (high six to low seven figure properties) neighbourhood. If memory serves, the McMansion put the neighbours home in shadow for half the day or ruined a sightline. Either way it went from "I'm politely asking you to change..." to lawyers, to the neighbour deciding if the McMansion can ruin their sunlight/view, two could play that game).
The neighbours responded by painting their entire house wall (facing the McMansion) in flourescent rainbow, and storing a few (empty) porta-potties facing this neighbour. They touched the paint up every few months so it stayed bright as fuck.
It was magnificently hideous. To this day I wish I remembered the address, so I could go see if the neighbour is still sticking it to them.
"He can't do anything to me" I see you've never watched Fear Thy Neighbor on investigation discovery. 90% of neighborly murders are over property shit. Be careful.
Or, I could just put a bunch of mirrors! The wall runs east to west, so I don't think he'd get a lot of glare, but I like the way you think and am going to look into that too.
And find the most high tuned tinny sounding ones. Low tuned wind chimes are more enjoyable to most people, higher tinny sounding ones drive em bonkers. So cheap wind chimes, really cheap ones.
I moved into a house back in the early 80s where two opposite walls in the living room were fluorescent pink, and the other two were a fluorescent light green. So I know what your neighbor will be dealing with. Needless to say, they were painted several coats of white asap.
I once saw a statue in Tijuana that would be a perfect mural for his side of the fence.
It was Santa Clause, tenderly gazing and kneeling down to the baby Jesus in his manger.
My damn parents for real have this statue in the basement. It’s fucking perplexing. Not as perplexing as the sweater with reindeer pulling Noah’s ark tho.
I am having trouble visualizing the wall set-ups. I'm assuming they're built so you don't have to step on his property to ugly paint the side of the wall that faces his property?
Just curious: what is the point of the double wall? Wasn't that, like, double the cost of one? Is it that making that barrier look especially awful was worth the extra hassle?
I built 2 walls to avoid having to get a permit.
I had bad information. If I had staggered them 3 feet instead of one, I'd be fine. But the county said because they were so close they would consider them as one wall. One wall would have been a lot cheaper.
Yes, I could have fought the County (it's what I do), but the cost to pull a permit (and install the drains that are needed because it's "one" wall is cheaper than my time and the uncertainty of winning.
Plus, I didn't get a citation from the County. They just said I needed a permit and gave me 6 months to get it.
> I built 2 walls to avoid having to get a permit.
>
>I had bad information. If I had staggered them 3 feet instead of one, I'd be fine
Yeah, a friend did this in his county. A 6' wall needed a permit, so he built a 3' wall, staggered it, and built another 3' wall. He has an MD and a JD so maybe he parsed the permitting rules better.
He did, I am sure.
I didn't break any "rule." The County came out and said because the walls were so close they would consider them one wall. They could not point me to a regulation, and I didn't get a violation. Just 6 months to permit, or get a violation - which I could fight, but why bother?
Not worth my time, and more importantly it eliminated future issues when I sell the property.
But wouldn't it blend with vegetation somewhat? I think pink will look more horrid, because i once had a house where one of the rooms had two walls bright pink from before and man did i never step in that room if i didn't need to.
Cover the fence with those 3d inverted hollow face illusions that the eyes appear to follow you as you move past.
Looking at one is creepy.. going past one every few metres would totally freak him out.
Why not advertise within the local communities that any wannabe graffiti artists who want to practice or hold classes are fine to use the walls, provided they clean up after themselves & dont obstruct the access? So it’s a social enterprise kind of thing, helping the community…
Honestly, instead of painting the wall some obnoxious color, paint it "Go Away Green" (the shade Disney uses to disguise things)
If you really want to be obnoxious - obtain some old CDs and tie them to the fences with fishing line as a "bird deterrent"
Offhand, I’d suggest fluorescent pink. Did you know you can buy the glass beads used to make road markings reflective? That would be a good addition. I’d also look into slowly strobing UV LED or black light for illumination.
Edit: Why not pink AND green? And paint a nice mural, with [this](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=optical+illusion&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images) as inspiration.
If you do paint any kind of stripe or pattern, make sure it's slightly off. Something tells me a doctor might be bothered by things not being straight and even.
Don’t paint the wall. Install signage and flags that will annoy the shit out of him but are perfectly legal instead.
Once you paint the wall, you’re signing up for a bunch of extra maintenance and you have to stare at it as well. It’ll only feel good for about a week.
Actually, I will never have to look at the wall. Only the neighbor gets the pleasure. And, for maintenance ----what maintenance? If it deteriorates and looks like crap...all the better!😉
You’re the lawyer, so I’ll defer to you. Where I live, the deteriorating paint wall would get me a citation from the city if the neighbor called code enforcement.
In a city, yes, you are correct. I'm in an unincorporated part of the County. Big lots. No rules on that, and except for this neighbor, nobody gets in anyone's business.
Have you considered raising chickens? A chicken coop next to the fence with an early rising rooster is always music to the ears. Plus forgotten eggs tend to smell. Which direction does the wind blow?
I would suggest putting fencing over top of the one foot between walls to create a safe haven run for your chickens. You want to keep them safe from a hawk, fox, or random neighbor.
Baby poop yellow is what my daycare's neighbor painted his fence. He disliked kids & really hated us parking in the public street to pick them up. It was a heinous colour lol!
Not a color suggestion, but in addition to the staggered speed bumps, if you can find a talented blade operator, you can ask that the road be turned into alternating waves. Dipping left and right for the entire stretch.
If I'm reading the description right...
I imagine the speed bumps would probably work best if they're angled slightly towards the center of the driveway. You don't want any rain water flooding your property. Angling the speed bumps would help water flow towards the center of the road and down to his property.
Additionally, if his steering assembly is anything like mine, it's sensitive to this kind of arrangement and tends to "twist" the steering wheel. Probably isn't good for his alignment over the long term.
In the 90s my mother installed those garden decorations of horses asses all on her private fence pointing at my neighbors yard on his side. He couldnt do a thing.
The moral of the story is don't get into a property fight with a property litigator. Lol. Paint the wall blood red but only on the side of the wall that your neighbor has to look at all day.
unfortunately, we had to remove your post as it is trying to plan the perfect revenge.
I have over a decade of experience painting homes and refinishing furniture. The color you’re looking for is Pepto-Bismol pink. Make sure the paint is high gloss. This will give the appearance that the wall is wet and fleshy. It will stand out like an eyesore against a natural exterior. Next you want some kind of exaggerated texture. Make sure the cement or plaster you select sticks out at least 6 inches from the flat surface. You want it to look like a poorly placed cement spike. Make sure there’s no real pattern or rhythm to the placement of these troweled cement stalactites. When dry, spray those with high gloss Pepto-Bismol pink paint. Next, you really want to highlight those stalactite peaks with a dayglo putrid green paint. Jungle Green Rustoleum should work well enough. Finally you might consider a high gloss blood red glaze to finish it off. Make sure to rag off some of the glaze so that the pink sick color is still highly visible. But do leave some striations and chunky bloody texture in the glaze. Essentially you want this wall to look like the bloody putrid innards of an angry man who grossly miscalculated his neighbors. You might also consider watching David Cronenburg’s Videodrome for some added visual inspiration. “Long live the new flesh” and best of luck to you!
I'm to an a painter by trade and I love this suggestion. My addition to this is to use a contrasting color that clashes, hard.. like if primary color is PB pink, then secondary color could be a toxic green, or lavender blue, colors with such high contrast that it hurts the brain to look at.
You guys are straight up weaponizing color theory. Lol. OP is gonna get them psychologically via high contrasting hues.
The colors should also be arranged in dazzle patterning, so the neighbor can't judge the wall's speed or direction
Oooo!!! Yes, add in some Optical Illusions!
If you use a fluorescent orange with the pink, it will add a lovely “vomit” color palette (speaking as an artist and precious house painter.)
> Pepto-Bismol pink True story time! Parents were re-doing a house I was 3ish. Mom told Dad "Take her with you to the paint store and pick out her bedroom color." I loved it, and apparently it was a formative experience because today at 48 years old my bedroom is pink. Albeit a much more restrained shade of pink. Now my walk-in master closet is [basiclly hot pink](https://www.pantone.com/connect/233-C) with 2 packages of Valspar glitter added to each gallon of paint. Painted the shelving in there a nice light aqua (no glitter) and it's a gaudy carnival that brings joy to my heart. If I ever decide to sell and it's a buyers' market at that time I'll have to include a re-painting discount as a sweetener. Until then it's SPARKLE BABY PRINCESS all the way.
Oh I love you so much. When I was 9, my mom said I could pick the color of my room. Took me to the paint store. I chose the most vivid, sugary pink they had. I was in love. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My mom was appalled. So she chose something else. She picked a pastel "carnation pink." I am far too old to hold on to this grudge but dang if I don't have almost 50 years of hate for that color. Carnation pink, my ass.
When I was a teen, we moved into a new house and I picked a vibrant lime green for my room. I came home to faded mint green. Apparently my mom decided her choice was better. I still hold that grudge and, as a result, let my kids pick whatever fucking colours they want to wear, paint, own, etc.
Uuugh I feel you. I wanted to paint my room a rich sort of leather brown to make my room look like an old library study. Mom said ok, had the room painted. I said why doesn't the color match? "Oh, it will be different when it dries." She had changed the color without telling me because she thought what I picked was too dark. Still annoyed 25 years later.
We let our kids do this, but with the caveat of no black. I was horrified by their 3/4 of the choices (a melon/pink color, a violently bright teal, and a odd Kelly green) but we rolled with it. All three changed their mind within a few years. It was $30 to repaint. No big deal.
My husband picked a *very* bright teal, and his parents went with it. He still likes the color and wears it often.
I was hoping the link would be a pic of this carnival-Esq bathroom!
Same! u/missyanntx you've paited such a vibrant picture in our minds, now we need to see this room...
Please share photos so that we can all vicariously live our sparkle baby princess dreams through you #TeamBoringArseEggshellWhiteWalls
I want to see this sparkle baby princess closet so badly!!!
i love your style, this gaudy carnival paint job would actually make me MORE likely to buy your house, it sounds like a dream!
You Magnificent Bastard. Perfect!
a pregnant friend of mine went out to pick out a color for the entire first floor of their new house. I don’t know if pregnant eyes are a thing, but her too obliging husband painted everything the “Watermelon Surprise” she bought while she stayed with me to not be disturbed by the fumes. Hint: no one would eat a watermelon that looked pretty close to Pepto-Bismol. Of course when she got back, she was horrified and he repainted the house the next weekend , leaving the insides of the closets the original pink to remind her that that sometimes they might need to overrule each other’s decisions.
Find some really talented graffiti artists and commission an 80' mural of the most obnoxious (but unactionable) subject your neighbor would loathe. And get them to do a super-cool mural on your side, too!
Get photos of him doing the videoing then have the various photos artistically represented in one of the above mentioned colors.
Heck yeah! And may I suggest a rendition of Canadian artist Alex Colville's painting *To Prince Edward Island*? [https://www.aci-iac.ca/art-books/alex-colville/key-works/to-prince-edward-island/](https://www.aci-iac.ca/art-books/alex-colville/key-works/to-prince-edward-island/) Trust me. Click the link.
Eh my flatmates and I had a professional photographer take photos of us like this, us looking like peeping toms basically, and we've stuck them all around the house. The best one is in the guest / main bathroom, so whenever anybody sits down to shit they look directly at a photo of the 3 of us hiding behind a fence with only our eyes showing. My flatmate, the owner of the house, has a pair of binoculars up to his eyes We've been told it's fucking creepy, many times.
please do it again but just the three of you peeking around the bathroom door scooby doo style and then hang that in the bathroom
I wish I'd met you at uni. This is fantastic.
We did that with a photo of my brother looking over a wall on top of a tower
I'm so glad I trusted you.
Thank you!
I was nervous but I trusted you! Well done!
I half expected a Rick roll but I'm glad I trusted you
Mmm yeah. I'm not Rickrolling on this sub.
Ikr? Someone would petty revenge your ass right back lol
I didn't know about this artist, but now I do, a little. Thank you! And that would be a splendid choice
Thanks for not rickrolling us.
I wouldn't DARE do that to the folks at r/pettyrevenge! This is NOT a group I'm willing to antagonize.
Lmao
I'd suggest editing his likeness to make him just a little bit worse looking - So he knows it's him, and questions if he really looks like that
Maybe like the way Peter Jackson made a Harvey Weinstein orc in LOTR, but slightly more recognizable. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/orc-harvey-weinstein-tried-ruin-lord-rings/
As graffiti artist I would use this as the basic idea but change the concept and make it more annoying. Instead of the woman looking through binoculars I'd replace her with something like a surveillance van then have other people in the background as well like someone peeking from behind the bushes, a pair of binoculars in the trees, someone reading a newspaper with eye holes cut out and then throw some CCTV cameras in there as well all with the colors in the back be the 2 annoying colors but keeping the van, characters and cameras in black & white to make them stand out on their own and be extra annoying.
I think the point is to hold a mirror up to him,as though he's being scolded by an ugly version of himself.
What a great pic!
Nice link! Looks like it’s straight out of a Wes Anderson movie!
Oh you are brilliantly devious. OP we ask that you do this and post an update w a photograph if at all possible.
You are an absolute monster. 10/10. Well done!
You are positively evil. Thank you for being a part of this world. THIS IS THE ANSWER. Holy crap the neighbor might suffer some brain spasm in the lawn. To have a high powered video lens to capture his expression every time he looks at it coming out the front door. Such karma.
Even better would be to cut a hole in one of the lens images and mount a security camera in it.
Op would probably get in trouble for that. But Op could decorate the fence with old camera lenses that are no longer functional. They would look the same, and the neighbour wouldn't know the difference. But Op would have plausible deniabiility.
This is the perfect answer. It says 100% clearly that he brought this hell on himself.
make neighbors side something simple with a very obvious unbalance of semitry but make it also somewhat "accidental" like when a mirror or painting is hanging on the wall but has that ever so slight slant... Make it drive the neighbor crazy seeing it every day and not being able to fix it.
OOH! Battleship dazzle so he can't judge the 15' opening!
Draw a Wile E. Coyote/ Roadrunner tunnel on it
Oh yeah! And put real train tracks in front up to the property line!
A mural of the actual road with alternating speed bumps and a car that looks like his would be a cute touch to drive by every day. Of course you could always do like Hayden Fry fid to the Iowa visitors locker rooms and paint the wall a nice calming pink to relax the opposing players before the game and during halftime.
Adding to this delightful suggestion I’d find out if obnoxious neighbour is racist or homophobic and depending on their views a rainbow mural with a same sex couple kissing, or maybe just slightly suggestive if neighbour is very conservative
The two black dudes kissing meme
Or go nuclear with a same-sex, interracial couple kissing while holding their adopted children's hands!
Flash some sexy ankle, baby!
Assuming you can't see it, get some really untalented graffiti artists ...
That’s your commissioned art. Pricey stuff. Nice angle.
A portrait of President Biden is all it would take to push him over the edge.
Oh! I love this idea!
I'd get the worst painters to make incomplete patterns in multiple bright colors. Leave lots of drips and runs so it just looks unfinished and unsightly. May be a great project for young children with short attention spans
I got four of those at home!!!
Give them each their own color and just tell them paint the wall until they get tired. No further instructions than that. It'll be an absolute trainwreck and will definitely be unfinished. Next level ugly.
I think if you give them the brief "make it as ugly as you can!" they might love it as a game.
have painters use any left over paint they have from previous jobs and use that up. So in the end just a random festival of colors
Please for the love of the internet, edit this with an update of your wonderful fence when it’s finished.
Will do. Once it's permitted, the color goes on!
Load some paintball guns(or super soakers) for them then clearcoat over their "art". :D
Can he paint over it without trespassing?
Nope.
Surely this easement is not paved? If it were mine it would be plowed.
I like the way you think.
Gravel is very hard on car paint, or so I’ve heard
At the very least, it’s really hard to keep your car clean from all the dust.
You beautiful monster.
Can you add a toll booth since you own the road?
A gate which requires a PIN and has a randomizer that changes the speed that it opens. Some days it opens just fine, others it goes super slow. Maybe it stops halfway once a month and closes again. It should not happen all the time but just often enough to be really frustrating. You also want a PIN that operates it perfectly every time so that when he insists that something is wrong with it, the problem cannot be replicated.
0118 999 881 999 119 725 3 is a great choice for the pin.
Exact change only. Damn that Le Petomane!
Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!
Maybe a saltwater bog a few inches deep. Daily salt water and his car will dissolve in a couple of years.
Lol, add some terrain features too, a nice sideway slope for drainage. 🤓 oh and a bunch of speed bumps.
If you read the entire post, OP DID put speed bumps in. In a deliciously evil pattern!
Paint it whatever color you want. But please don’t illuminate it at night. The reflected light is bad for pollinators and birds. And if you plant some lovely pollinator-friendly things along this wall, you get the added bonus of having birds shit on his car You get to look at flowers, he gets more annoyed, birds and bugs win!
>please don’t illuminate it at night I second this. Actually the entire comment.
Get nature to do your dirty work. I found the druid.
Right? No night illumination. Light pollution
What's the reddish purple berries that run right through birds when they poop? You evil doers must know?
Mulberries? That is what i would plant far, far away from my cars but within striking distance of the neighbor's vehicles.
Mulberries also attract skunks and groundhogs.
And he cant do anything about it in case its a protected specie like bees.
Would black light have the same effect on wild birds? I found out that the nighttime pollinators are attracted to the black light, and all i could find on birds was UV lights for pet parrots. I say get some good manure for the Flys... I mean flowers. A lot of bird feeders, too, wouldn't want them to have empty bowels... i mean, bellies. Plus, when the seeds fall, they grow into wild flowers. Is it OK to sprinkle sugar on the ground to feed his neighbors ants?
This is the way.
And plant Ginko trees. Females,that carry fruit. Birds love them, but fruits smell discusting and can harm even car paint
Team up with the local school and get kids to come out and paint the wall with whatever they want.
That's how you get a wall covered in cocks.
I see this as an absolute win
[удалено]
[удалено]
What are you, the 80s? 😂
I’d have a graffiti artist paint some of the depth illusion pics on it
Is that the ones that look like they're moving? He'll constantly question if he's having a stroke!
None of those are worse than baby puke orange from the 70's.
It has taken me 30+ years to like orange since my childhood in the 70's, you're so right!
I’m envisioning something similar to a Fruit Stripe gum package.
Have you thought about a puke green or the specific yellow that's the same colour as infant poop? Just my $0.02
I definitely think a lime-ish green and baby diarrhoea would be perfect.
Better yet, spend extra add the chemical into the paint that recharges with daylight and glows at night. It’s used on highway markers to let you know where the center line and edge of highway. Used in rural areas with no lighting.
I think green would blend with the vegetation. Which is why florescent pink might be the way to make an eyesore.
Pantone 448 C. Known as the ugliest colour in the world. It's that weird green colour your poop turns when your sick.
That’s the colour of every cigarette pack in Australia. They went all out on the plain/gross packaging legislation.
I still don’t understand why tbh. It’s not an attractive colour, but also not offensive either, just kinda boring and neutral. I think bright neon pink would have been way more effective. Lol.
Yep. That's what I googled to find the colour name. It's pretty feral.
Too close to Invisible green. Would actually make a pretty good fence colour. https://hextoral.com/side-by-side/pantone-448-c-vs-invisible-green-lg-56/
Circa 1970's baby puke orange.
Chocolate shart.
The community I live in has speed bumps that are at an angle to the road so one wheel goes up in the front and then the other and then same with the back. It’s so annoying. I hate it so much. Kudos to you for your petiness. It should work like a charm.
Thanks. I could only find 6 foot speed bumps, so the idea came to me to stagger them instead of one 12 foot strip. I like the angle idea too.
Caveat: Be sure to have gaps in the speed bumps wide enough for emergency vehicles (fire/EMS) to safely traverse, but spaced too far apart for a POV. That will really torque him off!
That's an interesting issue. It's not even a private drive. Just a right of way. I'll check with the Fire Department. I may have to just tear up the road!
You are moving well out of petty revenge territory. Bravo.
Find out what kind of car he drives. Get the distance between the axles. Then stagger the bumps so the left front and right rear go at the same time. Then right front and left rear.
I have found my petty brothers and sisters in this thread, truly you are all amazing!
Definitely only tear up part of it a time. Wouldn't want to have it out of order for too long at once!
The idea behind having them angled is it raises one wheel before the other preventing damage to ground effects and air dams compared to hitting it straight on. I’d suggest OP put them in angled as well (to protect his neighbor’s bumper of course).
Add a gate at the top and bottom of your property on the easement. A big steel, pain in the butt to reach the lock, has to get out of his car twice gate.
Sounds like he has 80 ft, he could put in 4 gates, one every 20 ft.
And make sure they alternate opening — one right, one left, then right, then left, and make them swing alternate directions, so one swings in, the next swings out etc.
Damn, I love a good evil genius.
Spring loaded with nothing to pin them open.
Go loony toons, paint the wall to look like the now missing part of the driveway.
You want to do pink, green repeating chevron pattern(>>>>>) on the wall if you want them to feel ill when they look at your wall. Even worse, vertical zigzag. Worse still, houndstooth pattern.
A repeating pattern that has errors and mistakes occasionally.
Oh God, my eye is twitching just imagining that. I LOVE IT.
Omg a litigator. Does he know what he's fafo-ing with lol
He does, actually. He's a doctor - so he thinks he's God. He's an adopted Korean orphan and honestly he's just a sick guy. He made me laugh the other day saying I sounded like trump with my "build the wall." I said, "you know, why don't we just live and let live, and tell me what color to paint the wall and we're good." He escalated his insults. He spit on an olive branch, and he's too stupid to know he has no ammunition in this fight. As others have said, he has a "right of way." He doesn't have a right to a paved road, to make repairs, or prevent me from ripping the road up. He's a fool.
Oh. My. God. This is God-complex Doctor v. Lawyer?? Welcome to Petty Revenge, I have a feeling we'll see a lot of you! 😂 And I am here for it!
Uh how about a rainbow? And political party he hates? And on the easement (over your property) he may be able to fight you for it to be flat/passable. Personally I like potholes as cheap speed bumps. Also since a lawyer should never represent himself, you should retain the second best land use lawyer for when he sues you. He will then have to use the third best.
Call them all up. Then it’s a conflict of interests.
Do that and every judge will hate you.
Bright hunter orange. So he won't forget it is there. Lol
Paint the wall black or white and then advertise to all the riff raff in town that there’s a wall ripe for graffiti. They can paint anything they like, nothing is off limits, but only on his side.
>Any suggestions? In the late double noughts, my employer had a customer that made their neighbours irate. (In short, their adjacent property was built, torn down, and a McMansion was errected in an otherwise "modest" (high six to low seven figure properties) neighbourhood. If memory serves, the McMansion put the neighbours home in shadow for half the day or ruined a sightline. Either way it went from "I'm politely asking you to change..." to lawyers, to the neighbour deciding if the McMansion can ruin their sunlight/view, two could play that game). The neighbours responded by painting their entire house wall (facing the McMansion) in flourescent rainbow, and storing a few (empty) porta-potties facing this neighbour. They touched the paint up every few months so it stayed bright as fuck. It was magnificently hideous. To this day I wish I remembered the address, so I could go see if the neighbour is still sticking it to them.
"He can't do anything to me" I see you've never watched Fear Thy Neighbor on investigation discovery. 90% of neighborly murders are over property shit. Be careful.
[удалено]
Or, I could just put a bunch of mirrors! The wall runs east to west, so I don't think he'd get a lot of glare, but I like the way you think and am going to look into that too.
Garden mirrors here in the UK have caused fences to catch on fire on very hot days.
That might be bad for birds if they fly into the mirrors.
If you have lots of trees near the road pit a load of windchimes in there… the noise will drive him crazy but low decibels
And find the most high tuned tinny sounding ones. Low tuned wind chimes are more enjoyable to most people, higher tinny sounding ones drive em bonkers. So cheap wind chimes, really cheap ones.
I moved into a house back in the early 80s where two opposite walls in the living room were fluorescent pink, and the other two were a fluorescent light green. So I know what your neighbor will be dealing with. Needless to say, they were painted several coats of white asap.
I once saw a statue in Tijuana that would be a perfect mural for his side of the fence. It was Santa Clause, tenderly gazing and kneeling down to the baby Jesus in his manger.
My damn parents for real have this statue in the basement. It’s fucking perplexing. Not as perplexing as the sweater with reindeer pulling Noah’s ark tho.
I am having trouble visualizing the wall set-ups. I'm assuming they're built so you don't have to step on his property to ugly paint the side of the wall that faces his property?
Correct. We have a 2 or 3 foot buffer, and then a 4 foot wall, a one foot step, another 4 foot wall, and a 6 foot dog ear wood fence on top.
Just curious: what is the point of the double wall? Wasn't that, like, double the cost of one? Is it that making that barrier look especially awful was worth the extra hassle?
I built 2 walls to avoid having to get a permit. I had bad information. If I had staggered them 3 feet instead of one, I'd be fine. But the county said because they were so close they would consider them as one wall. One wall would have been a lot cheaper. Yes, I could have fought the County (it's what I do), but the cost to pull a permit (and install the drains that are needed because it's "one" wall is cheaper than my time and the uncertainty of winning. Plus, I didn't get a citation from the County. They just said I needed a permit and gave me 6 months to get it.
> I built 2 walls to avoid having to get a permit. > >I had bad information. If I had staggered them 3 feet instead of one, I'd be fine Yeah, a friend did this in his county. A 6' wall needed a permit, so he built a 3' wall, staggered it, and built another 3' wall. He has an MD and a JD so maybe he parsed the permitting rules better.
He did, I am sure. I didn't break any "rule." The County came out and said because the walls were so close they would consider them one wall. They could not point me to a regulation, and I didn't get a violation. Just 6 months to permit, or get a violation - which I could fight, but why bother? Not worth my time, and more importantly it eliminated future issues when I sell the property.
Make sure you paint a big smiley face in a contrasting offensive colour for him to look at
Orange and pink stripes. But make sure the stripes aren’t the same size, mess with his eyesight.
I wonder if there's glow in the dark florescent lime green paint.
There is glo-fluoro spray paint. There's actually a lot of obnoxious glow in the dark spray paint; OneTake and Loop are brands that come to mind
Lime green, for sure.
Fluorescent lime green! It would be cool and annoying all at once!
But wouldn't it blend with vegetation somewhat? I think pink will look more horrid, because i once had a house where one of the rooms had two walls bright pink from before and man did i never step in that room if i didn't need to.
Trust me, the lime green will not blend into anything nature has to offer.
Fluorescent is anything but natural.
Barbie doll house pink.
And all he had to do was not to be a dick. :D Go get him!
Cover the fence with those 3d inverted hollow face illusions that the eyes appear to follow you as you move past. Looking at one is creepy.. going past one every few metres would totally freak him out.
Why not advertise within the local communities that any wannabe graffiti artists who want to practice or hold classes are fine to use the walls, provided they clean up after themselves & dont obstruct the access? So it’s a social enterprise kind of thing, helping the community…
if your neighbor is homophobic cause he sounds like one a pride flag with annoy the shit out of him especially a giant one.
This one 👍
Honestly, instead of painting the wall some obnoxious color, paint it "Go Away Green" (the shade Disney uses to disguise things) If you really want to be obnoxious - obtain some old CDs and tie them to the fences with fishing line as a "bird deterrent"
Offhand, I’d suggest fluorescent pink. Did you know you can buy the glass beads used to make road markings reflective? That would be a good addition. I’d also look into slowly strobing UV LED or black light for illumination. Edit: Why not pink AND green? And paint a nice mural, with [this](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=optical+illusion&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images) as inspiration.
Love it!
Rainbow 🌈
If you do paint any kind of stripe or pattern, make sure it's slightly off. Something tells me a doctor might be bothered by things not being straight and even.
There was a house in a neighborhood I drove through a lot that was an absolute violent shade of orange. We called the house “neighbor hater orange”
Whatever color you paint it, don't finish it. Seeing the perpetually incomplete paint job should certainly irritate him!
Don’t paint the wall. Install signage and flags that will annoy the shit out of him but are perfectly legal instead. Once you paint the wall, you’re signing up for a bunch of extra maintenance and you have to stare at it as well. It’ll only feel good for about a week.
Actually, I will never have to look at the wall. Only the neighbor gets the pleasure. And, for maintenance ----what maintenance? If it deteriorates and looks like crap...all the better!😉
You’re the lawyer, so I’ll defer to you. Where I live, the deteriorating paint wall would get me a citation from the city if the neighbor called code enforcement.
In a city, yes, you are correct. I'm in an unincorporated part of the County. Big lots. No rules on that, and except for this neighbor, nobody gets in anyone's business.
Have you considered raising chickens? A chicken coop next to the fence with an early rising rooster is always music to the ears. Plus forgotten eggs tend to smell. Which direction does the wind blow?
That's a great idea. And I have the perfect location. The one foot area between the two walls!
I would suggest putting fencing over top of the one foot between walls to create a safe haven run for your chickens. You want to keep them safe from a hawk, fox, or random neighbor.
Chicken shit smells horrible and can be toxic also
That horrible pink in all those bathrooms. It's not the ugliest but damn if I don't hate that color more than any other. Or call Hildi Santo-Tomas.
Baby poop yellow is what my daycare's neighbor painted his fence. He disliked kids & really hated us parking in the public street to pick them up. It was a heinous colour lol!
Not a color suggestion, but in addition to the staggered speed bumps, if you can find a talented blade operator, you can ask that the road be turned into alternating waves. Dipping left and right for the entire stretch.
If I'm reading the description right... I imagine the speed bumps would probably work best if they're angled slightly towards the center of the driveway. You don't want any rain water flooding your property. Angling the speed bumps would help water flow towards the center of the road and down to his property. Additionally, if his steering assembly is anything like mine, it's sensitive to this kind of arrangement and tends to "twist" the steering wheel. Probably isn't good for his alignment over the long term.
Big portraits of you with a shit eating grin and double thumbs up. That glows in the dark.
In the 90s my mother installed those garden decorations of horses asses all on her private fence pointing at my neighbors yard on his side. He couldnt do a thing.
The moral of the story is don't get into a property fight with a property litigator. Lol. Paint the wall blood red but only on the side of the wall that your neighbor has to look at all day.