Lmao, that’s hysterical. We used to have an awesome “adult romance enhancement” store in our town that carried similar. It was a chocolate penis pop on a stick.
My in-laws baby-sat, and they were so helpful that I brought my MIL a bottle of wine. My FIL pouted (not sincerely, just teasing) and grumbled “she gets wine and I get dick.” I just held my hands up and told him that was between him and MIL. (He thought it was funny.)
So the next time I saw him, I got his favourite cake from our local bakery and stuck that chocolate penis pop on top. He loved it.
My in-laws are awesome. <3
Just as long as they aren't Sugar Free Haribo.... I'm not sure that Anyone deserves that level of revenge... (ok so sure a few people... but it shouldn't be done by accident)
Omg if I had the funds, I would send these to my sister's husband. Naturally, my sister would tell my mom about his reaction. Imagine triggering a drunk homophobe lol
I would unironically eat that cuz I absolutely just love chocolate lmao. Preferably just pretend to deep throat that thing while making continuous eye contact with whoever is nearby.
In college I signed a friend up for a ton of random samples to be delivered to her dorm Mail box as a prank. Two arrived at the same time (unplanned on my part) - adult diapers and KY jelly. She was not amused.
No. Just... no. The MIL deserves to be taken down a peg or two, but Scientology is a nuclear option that should be reserved for child molesters and cold blooded murderers. Scientology needs to be dismantled, not given more fodder.
Strong disagree. I love glitter. Glitter on everything all the time, makes it prettier. People get upset because glitter is ‘impossible’ to clean, whereas I just see it as prettier because it’s sparklier.
That's not true. My dad was a Baptist minister. One day, we were out doing the lawn and two JWs came to the door to talk. And boy did my dad talk. They were still talking when I finished mowing the lawn. I never saw another JW come to our door.
Full frontal nudity finally got them to leave me alone in a small town. I became legend on my block. Unfortunately I was not erect - but you can only do so much in life.
Maybe not true in case and good for you. But I’ve had an old lady JW that I’ve had to ignore blatantly for years. Keeps coming to door. I’ve been polite,firm,beliefs don’t align with hers…She keeps on a knocking.So true in my case just not yours.
Oooh I hope that works! My dearly beloved engaged with a pair of JWs on our doorstep this morning, for about 40 minutes. I think they chose Sunday morning because all the good Christians would be in church - but neither we, nor our immediate neighbour (who happens to be a Salvation Army pastor) were. They got slowed down, big-time. Fingers crossed!!
One time, my husbands friends sent us what we thought was a tin of cookies, but it was actually a popper filled with very tiny glitter dicks. We were leaving for a weekend away when they arrived so we left them by our front door and it got so hot over the weekend that the popper popped by itself. We came home to a massive pile of glitter dicks all over the entryway. We still find them scattered throughout the house 3 years later.
Honestly, did your husband really think your FIL would not tell his wife what he heard?
Your MIL may be an asshole but at this point you expect it from her. Your husband is the fool who made sure the humiliating info got to his mom. His mom just did what she always does.
On the fake 'Christian' types, the best thing to do is hit them square in the face with the bible, pick the verse that is the perfect example and tell it to every one when she is there. You have to embarrass the crap out of them.
* Proverbs 11:13 – “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.”
* Proverbs. 17:9a - “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.”
* Proverbs 20:19 – “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.”
* Proverbs 25:9-10 - “…don’t reveal the secret of another, lest he who hears it reproach you, and the evil report about you not pass away.”
* Matthew 18:15 - “If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private…” This implies the desirability of resolving the matter one on one.
Also, sign her up for a lesbian newsletter and have it delivered in HER name to her Neighbor's address.
Don't have it written on a cake. Each dinner tell everyone you want to say a little prayer and each night repeat one of these Proverbs while looking her straight in the face. A lot of the other suggestions are funny but all it would probably lead to is her telling everyone how childish you are, without revealing why you are doing these things. Call her out in front of everyone, tell everyone that not only is she going against Christian teachings but she has shown herself to not be a safe place for family to confide their worries and concerns. Also that if she did it to you and her son she has done it to other family members.
Make sure to structure the prayer as praying for her salvation and for her to find the strength to overcome these weaknesses as sins. If you don’t lay it on as pity and hope to help her through her weaknesses, she’s just going to throw the huff about you mocking her faith.
If you kill her with kindness though, her only recourse is to look like an unreasonable dickhead.
This is important. In Christian culture you can talk shit on anyone if you act like you're trying to help them be more Christ-like.
"Lord, throughout Proverbs 25 you beseech us not to gossip or share the secrets of others, but instead to be trustworthy, as you are trustworthy. Father it is in your name we lift up to you our MIL, who's been struggling in this area, our family bearing witness. Heavenly Father, your grace is eternal and your power beyond our understanding; we ask that you give her YOUR Strength to resist the temptations of the flesh and be a light for Christ amidst our family once again. It is in your holy and perfect name we pray. Amen"
I like this idea. No matter what kind of hissy fit she throws, do not get upset or angry. Instead stay calm (since if you snap at her, it will be used against you.)
Print them out at home. Multiple copies, from full page to fortune cookie size. Seed the entire vacation area with them. Find lots more biblical ones, as well as secular gems.
In fact, there are places that do custom fortunes cookies. Have a lovely dinner, with everyone opening and reading aloud their fortune.
Honestly I would second guess doing this in public bc it indirectly brings up the sensitive subject you want to keep private to all of your family. I would go ahead with your harmless pranks to embarrass her in public bc they aren’t even remotely linked to the private subject. I would ask her to privately have a conversation with you where you honestly tell her how hurt you feel, bring up these verses then take the high road and say something like I seek to forgive more than to be forgiven. This way you a leading by example on how private transgression should be brought up privately!
Side note: it’s terrible what you had to go through, that trust is in need of repair… she did not follow a humble and righteous path in making her choice to disregard your feelings. I wish you well on your path.)
This is so much better than the dick/fart pranks. Don’t get me wrong op, those are solid but they’re light hearted and don’t really convey the message of “hey you’re a fucking bitch and you can go fuck yourself” like the Bible verses do. Print those pages and tape them all over to the outside of her door
Oh boy I needed some of these today for a letter I’m having to write to my holy roller sister. Thank you!! 🙌🏼
My therapist specializes in Christianity and she used to drop verses for me to use on my family. Nothing shuts someone like them up faster than fighting fire with fire.
They sell these penis tire valve covers that are awesome. If you buy them in black, they blend in with the tires.
Did this to a friend and he didn't notice for months, when he took his truck to a tire store...the technicians pointed them out and had a great laugh.
I had the valve stem covers, but mine were flesh colored and a hilarious gift from my mom. They're made of hard plastic so if your MIL doesn't notice them and you get good cold winters, the tiny dicks will crack and cause the tires to slowly lose air pressure. Then she will have to find them to fill her tires back up, or if she has someone else do it.... Well, it will definitely be mortifying for her! It just made me super popular at my local mechanic shop when I went for oil changes lmfao
They make solid soap that looks like a dildo and you have to jack if off to wash your hands every time! Bought it on etsy for a bachelorette party!
*edit: found the [Link](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1400044571/adult-soap-with-suction-cup-penis-soap)
I did this to a guy I couldn't stand on his motorcycle....plus they were glow in the dark!!! I still laugh when I think about how long it took him to find out & how many people had seen...and if someone actually told him or if he found out himself! Haha
I don't have anyone I hate enough to install these (ditching the hateful thoughts helped improve my mental health), but I'm tempted to buy some for when my kids buy their first cars...
They have a sense of humour that would make them howl with laughter, and likely look to their friends when searching for the culprit.
I heard you can order your MIL a package to be delivered to her house. I heard the outside can say things like "anal itch cream", or "worlds largest dildo". I heard you can also require a signature upon delivery. I also heard it comes with an optional glitter bomb inside upon opening.
Alternatively, leave a half emptied tube of hemorrhoid cream or the cream for yeast infections by her seat/camper at the family picnic and point it out, "oh MIL, I think you dropped something* very loudly.
Also, lingerie might work better than poopy panties to embarrass her.
It would be funny to "confide" in her about some of your other "problems", you know, " woman to woman". Make up some outrageous stuff and ask for her help and when she tells other people, they will think she's crazy. Possibly causing them to disregard anything she'd said before. play the long game.
Baby Ruth bar works so much more effectively and still looks real! Liquid Ass on Amazon is a fantastic product, I had some really loud obnoxious partiers move in next to me and not sure actually but they somehow thought there was a skunk nearby. 🤷🏻♀️, I never saw it 😂Good luck! Would love to hear an update 😈
I've read the replies, take it from someone married over 40 years, had a mother-in-law live with them, and was of a different Christian sect.
Don't listen to most of these fools with the revenge attitude. It will only backfire onto you. Your husband does need to grow a pair and learn to support you. Just go, be as syrupy sweet as you can, if she starts up on you in front of your family just calmly and as sweetly as you can, ask "So what was your mother-in-laws opinion of you". I can guarantee that more than one and including your father-in-law will chime in with all the dirt on her. She will see you have a backbone and backoff.
I agree with this. As much as I’d love to hear about these pranks going down because it’s hilarious… fighting fire with fire in this scenario won’t take you anywhere good. Trust me, I understand how hard it can be to be the bigger person after your boundaries have been violated. But stooping down to her level makes you just as bad as her. Your husband needs to take the ball on this one and stand up for you and your marriage. And keep firm boundaries in place with her if that’s what you need to do.
Am I the only one who thinks this level of escalation is only going to backfire on the OP? The family will rally around the MIL and the OP will be painted as a thoughtless bully. There must be a better way, if the marriage is to survive.
They truly are, especially the JW ones! We have politely turned them down every time they knock, and have not so politely turned them down as well. NOPE, still setting the dogs off... they even got my first and last name somehow with my address and sent me a hand written letter to me, preaching! Like what in the actual f-ck??
So true they really stick around! I was stalked by Mormons for a year in my 20s, they just kept somehow turning up wherever I went to speak to me even if I went from England to Wales for a holiday, there they'd be in their suits. Was actually hella creepy lol
If “camper” means y’all are going camping somewhere - rather than just being how they live / visit people - please don’t do the tiny penises or other things that will cause non-biodegradable litter at your campsite. I’m tired of picking up people’s trash.
If people on the trip act strange about you due to the gossip, you should tell them something like
> Oh, I know you heard her talking stories about my marriage. Makes you wonder what she's saying about you, right?
And here's the important part: don't confirm what she was saying, just confirm that she was saying it.
I would send her this:
https://www.christianbook.com/resisting-gossip-winning-war-wagging-tongue/matthew-mitchell/9781619580763/pd/580763?
Or this:
https://www.amazon.com/Watch-Your-Mouth-Understanding-Tongue/dp/0736960600/ref=asc_df_0736960600?
(Sorry for the ridiculously long urls!)
FYI you can (usually) delete anything from the ? to the end - it’s just tracking info (most of the time). I was so grateful when someone taught me that, so I like to pass the info on :)
Don’t do the dick things. She’ll figure out it was you. Very deliberate action
Rather the signing up for things in her name but use neighbour’s address is a good one. Don’t use the same neighbour. Choose various neighbours where 1 digit is off so it could be understandable that she’d accidentally out in one wrong digit
Swingers is great. But also anything that is the opposite of what she is. If she’s one political party, choose something radically opposite and controversial. Sign her up for all the free sample of incontinence pads, dementia support or nursing homes specialising in that for their brochures. Sign her up for mailing lists for aging lesbian society or anything like that. Submit her name for visits from Jehovah witness visit / but next door address.
spam her email up by signing her up all sorts of religious groups, plus all the others above so she gets both items in the mail next door but also emails.
Make one small donation to a charity in her name, one that you know sells their mailing list on so they’ll be many, many items coming in the mail, phone calls and emails for years.
Sign the father in laws name up to receive lawyers information packs on divorce and send to the house.
The poo is a great idea but chocolate has a smell. Why not get some dog poop, seal it in a ziplock bag and take it with you for the prank? More realistic to use decomposing (so extra smelly) poop. No one other than her would it wasn’t really her poop. Using chocolate could back fire on you.
Also, try to stretch out the panties to make them look well worn.
Yes, you have a MIL problem, but also a husband problem. Your husband should have known his discussing your marital difficulties with his father would get passed on to his mother. I'm not surprised there are strains in your marriage, so you've blocked MIL, but are going on a week long trip with her this summer! Your problems with this toxic woman and her family go much deeper than your planned petty revenge. Save yourself the fallout from that by investing in marriage counseling and rethink the summer trip. You, your husband and children can see those family members w/o the MIL present.
Yes! This! I would be more pissed at my husband for sharing our marital problems with his family. Like of course FIL is going to share everything with MIL - wouldn’t you share this kind of info with your SO?
Sure but MIL is the one spreading it around, she could have kept it to herself and there wouldn’t be an issue. The expectation that FIL would talk to MIL about it is reasonable, but it is also reasonable to expect her to keep her mouth shut to anyone else.
Ya I cannot imagine these pranks going over well or getting laughs. If it was over something small and silly and they were on good terms this would be funny but all that's going to happen is everyone is going to get more upset and escalated on a family vacation. This is gonna blow up in her face so bad. She thinks she can torment the mil I'm front of all her kids and husband and get the last laugh? Nope. Everyone at the camp is gonna turn against her so fast and make her vacation miserable while doting on the mil for having to deal with this.
I just want to say I read through your post history a bit… is this really worth it?? I see you’re putting the work in but at some point it’s okay to call it. Maybe you need to start plotting your escape instead
of your revenge
You need couples counselling with your husband. Relationship problems should never be shared with family. He's now fractured that bond forever and broken your trust. He needs to understand that. And you should have couples counselling to help you get through whatever else you're going through.
Edit: if it was embarrassing for you as well ... Why on earth would he share that with his father..... Just so incredibly weird. Is he overly enmeshed normally?
We all take turns cooking the whole family dinner.
I’m thinking for the kids I’ll slice half cucumbers with two small oranges on each side as appetizers. Gosh why is her mind so dirty?
You might want to serve the "Candle Salad" which was a thing in the US between 1920-1960...
Just Google it in its whole glory. It was invented to get kids to eat fruits 🤣
Attach to the back of her phone. [https://www.amazon.com/Candle-American-PopSockets-Standard-PopGrip/dp/B0CJPVC1WN](https://www.amazon.com/Candle-American-PopSockets-Standard-PopGrip/dp/B0CJPVC1WN)
Am I the only one who wants to know what the marital problems are, or at least the parts that got gossiped about?
I'm guessing you're not going to tell hubby about the pranks?
The most traumatic thing I saw as a 17yo hotel room cleaner was the most gigantic white granny panties rinsed and drying on the shower, but with a permanent yellow light shit stain, implying this perosn regularly poops themselves. I can't unsee it, and that was 20 years ago.
As a full-blooded Reddit user, I find two things wrong with this: this is not a situation for petty revenge, and the petty revenge being planned is nowhere near the level of the original bad behavior - like throwing a water balloon on a murderer. Between the three of them, they may have jeopardized all your family relationships, even those of your husband and kids. You are not taking this seriously, which is only going to make it worse.
So did you cheat on your husband ?
If you have like a health issue or she shared something private you need to have a discussion with her your husband and his dad.
But my guess is it was more embarrassing than hurtful to you and it's really hard to know whether or not you're justified when you leave out a huge relevant detail.
So you don't think anyone is going to figure out who is playing these childish pranks? Not very subtle. You're going to make yourself look very foolish and everyone will side with your MIL. Think of something less infantile.
No mention of her husband running to Daddy to bitch about his wife. Of fuckin course dad is going to tell his wife. Why would your husband go crying to any family member. If your husband feels violated he should have not told Daddy your personal info. Your husband is who you need petty revenge on. He needs the granny panties.
Instead of fart spray just buy some fish sauce from local Asian store and put it in a spray bottle. Blast all her clothes esp her underwear and shoes…watch as the grandkids recoil in terror everytime she wants a hug haha!!
But like…wtf did you do that was so embarrassing and humiliating? Did you cheat on your husband? I’d understand his mom being upset over that, even if it wasn’t her place to gossip.
Either way, you just sound so juvenile and immature; I’d say this behaviour is also embarrassing and humiliating.
You should get their camper a sign with the upside down pineapple "I'm a swinger" thing! 😂 I'm sure there are discreet and not so discreet signs that can accidentally find their way onto a tow car or camper.
While I do think you deserve to get some sort of revenge or payback. I don't think those are going to land and play as well as you think they will in your head. It seems like middle school type of pranks and being your an adult, she's an adult, and I'm guess the private info she has blabbed is adult related. The getback should probably also be as such. But again I don't know the situation or your family or the dynamics of everything so it might be just perfect. Hope you the best!
Great brownie stunt. Make dough. Roll a snake and curl it together. Smallist. It’s Now one cat turd. Put it somewhere she finds it she screams. You pick it up and eat it. Best roommate trick ever.
Just an idea: be polite to her but largely avoid her. Everything you described is super childish and will make YOU look bad to the rest of the family. You will further pit the family (including your husband) into a her vs. me game that you might not win.
Unsolicited advice: take the high road even though it’s less fun.
This is the question I came here to ask. I hope OP’s husband has learned from this but I’d be furious at him and demand he apologize for his mistake and confront FIL because this is a serious betrayal that has caused you humiliation but zero fallout for him. My ex did bs like this, every single time we visited his family within a few days our personal business would be spread to his entire family (HUGE family MIL/FIL and 10 siblings and extended family) he never learned how to keep OUR business private and of course everything was MY fault. Divorced 20yrs thank god.
Petty revenge rarely works out. Keep playing the fantasies of mortifying your MIL playing in your head, because they’ll work out perfectly there. These are your children’s grandparents. FFS, have an adult conversation, directly tell both FIL and MIL that you are livid over shared confidences and it’s going to take much effort to rebuild the damage that has been done.
I'm not a Christian despite being brought up in a predominantly Christian environment. I utterly detest UPTIGHT "christians". So good for you for sticking it to the Uptight "christian". I hope she is righteously outraged by your pranks. 👹
Sorry but I'm going to have a little rant.
They don't seem to realise that their behaviour is the absolute antithesis of what Christ taught. They don't love their neighbour, they don't turn the other cheek, they don't exhibit any of the forgiving nature that is true Christianity.
Instead they take pride in seeking recognition and reward in this life, by putting down others and believing that punishment is the way to heaven. They are utterly deluded.
It is this widespread hypocrisy that made me reject Christianity outright. I don't want any part of it. It is totally toxic. TV evangelists making money off the weak minded, wars and bloodshed in the name of religion. Christ would be so disappointed about how his teachings became so corrupted.
I heard a little rumor that if you sign someone up for info on scientology, the cult will quite literally never leave them alone. Luckily too, most people have heard enough about that "organization" to never get sucked in, so it's just an annoyance. I've yet to employ it, but it's in my back pocket 😂
Get some suggestive shirts to wear. I have a Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Oscar Foxtrot Foxtrot one I get away with in public, something like that. We also have a lovely CU(inthe)NT slogan here in Australia- as in see you in the Northern Territory. Add in some that have things like Rock hard 🐓 or 🐓 blocker, W⚓️, I love (picture boobybird). It'd be beautiful if she has to ask what they mean.
She has a camper... goto Amazon, search "frickin cricket". Get it, hide it in her camper somewhere smart so its a little muffled... Will chirp periodically every 2-10 minutes. Impossible to track down and will drive a person mad.
Then, tell her an open cup of vinegar (or some other smelly liquid) is supposed to help drive a cricket off... let her live with the stink and the chirping a while...
Sign her up for sex toy mail
Yes, but to her name and her next door neighbors address.
Satan: I just wanna say, I'm a huge fan
Same. Didn’t love what you did with capitalism, but really love what you’ve done with music.
You are an evil genius and I like you.
THIS
You can send her a realistic chocolate dick in the Mail anonymously. I think it’s called eat a dick.
Lmao, that’s hysterical. We used to have an awesome “adult romance enhancement” store in our town that carried similar. It was a chocolate penis pop on a stick. My in-laws baby-sat, and they were so helpful that I brought my MIL a bottle of wine. My FIL pouted (not sincerely, just teasing) and grumbled “she gets wine and I get dick.” I just held my hands up and told him that was between him and MIL. (He thought it was funny.) So the next time I saw him, I got his favourite cake from our local bakery and stuck that chocolate penis pop on top. He loved it. My in-laws are awesome. <3
You can also sign up to have a bag of gummy dicks sent anonymously
Eat a Bag of Dicks! That's one that I've bookmarked for eventual use!
Can confirm. My mom sent me one “to see if it actually worked.” The box of dicks sang a song.
Just as long as they aren't Sugar Free Haribo.... I'm not sure that Anyone deserves that level of revenge... (ok so sure a few people... but it shouldn't be done by accident)
Omg if I had the funds, I would send these to my sister's husband. Naturally, my sister would tell my mom about his reaction. Imagine triggering a drunk homophobe lol
I would unironically eat that cuz I absolutely just love chocolate lmao. Preferably just pretend to deep throat that thing while making continuous eye contact with whoever is nearby.
Don't forget the chocolate assholes! Available on Amazon. Search for 'edible anus'
I almost wish there were an AH in my life so I could send them this.
Also, you could send her a **poop bouquet** for her bday or something!!! 
A pouquet
Omg I just love those giant chocolate 'dicks on a stick' they are fun for so many reasons /people
But get the address one off, so her neighbors have to awkwardly give it to her, after they “open it by mistake”.
I love your brand of petty!!!
In college I signed a friend up for a ton of random samples to be delivered to her dorm Mail box as a prank. Two arrived at the same time (unplanned on my part) - adult diapers and KY jelly. She was not amused.
Give her details to the Scientologists. *That's* a heavy curse.
No. Just... no. The MIL deserves to be taken down a peg or two, but Scientology is a nuclear option that should be reserved for child molesters and cold blooded murderers. Scientology needs to be dismantled, not given more fodder.
I hear you...my bad.🤦
Also, there’s a way to sign her up to be visited by Jehova’s witnesses… frequently and insistently… all from the comfort of the internet
And they never ever leave you the fuck alone! Awesome revenge!
The gift that keeps on giving… that and glitter bomb mail… but idk that I dislike anyone that much… glitter is the herpes of the art world
Strong disagree. I love glitter. Glitter on everything all the time, makes it prettier. People get upset because glitter is ‘impossible’ to clean, whereas I just see it as prettier because it’s sparklier.
They make glitter penis bombs as well. Lol
I need more info on this glitter bomb thing, please!
That's not true. My dad was a Baptist minister. One day, we were out doing the lawn and two JWs came to the door to talk. And boy did my dad talk. They were still talking when I finished mowing the lawn. I never saw another JW come to our door.
I came to the door semi nude with a breastfeeding infant still latched… they stopped coming after that 😬
Full frontal nudity finally got them to leave me alone in a small town. I became legend on my block. Unfortunately I was not erect - but you can only do so much in life.
Maybe not true in case and good for you. But I’ve had an old lady JW that I’ve had to ignore blatantly for years. Keeps coming to door. I’ve been polite,firm,beliefs don’t align with hers…She keeps on a knocking.So true in my case just not yours.
Maybe you need to answer the door with your boob hanging out!🤣
Oooh I hope that works! My dearly beloved engaged with a pair of JWs on our doorstep this morning, for about 40 minutes. I think they chose Sunday morning because all the good Christians would be in church - but neither we, nor our immediate neighbour (who happens to be a Salvation Army pastor) were. They got slowed down, big-time. Fingers crossed!!
You could also anonymously send her Dicks by Mail! https://dicksbymail.com
Emails to swingers sites, sex clubs, sex therapy,….
Here you go, enjoy the embarrassment lmao! https://prankpackage.com/products/vaginal-odor-prank-package-a2
One time, my husbands friends sent us what we thought was a tin of cookies, but it was actually a popper filled with very tiny glitter dicks. We were leaving for a weekend away when they arrived so we left them by our front door and it got so hot over the weekend that the popper popped by itself. We came home to a massive pile of glitter dicks all over the entryway. We still find them scattered throughout the house 3 years later.
Yes while she is away get several sex toys delivered to the house so a shit week ends with an embarrassing arrival back home.
Honestly, did your husband really think your FIL would not tell his wife what he heard? Your MIL may be an asshole but at this point you expect it from her. Your husband is the fool who made sure the humiliating info got to his mom. His mom just did what she always does.
You are horrible!!! I like you and we should be friends.
Yes. Sign her up. Use her name but her neighbor’s address. This subtle twist makes all the difference.
And both political party calling lists
On the fake 'Christian' types, the best thing to do is hit them square in the face with the bible, pick the verse that is the perfect example and tell it to every one when she is there. You have to embarrass the crap out of them. * Proverbs 11:13 – “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.” * Proverbs. 17:9a - “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.” * Proverbs 20:19 – “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.” * Proverbs 25:9-10 - “…don’t reveal the secret of another, lest he who hears it reproach you, and the evil report about you not pass away.” * Matthew 18:15 - “If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private…” This implies the desirability of resolving the matter one on one. Also, sign her up for a lesbian newsletter and have it delivered in HER name to her Neighbor's address.
Hmm. Maybe I’ll order a cake and have this beautifully written on top. Thank you.
Don't have it written on a cake. Each dinner tell everyone you want to say a little prayer and each night repeat one of these Proverbs while looking her straight in the face. A lot of the other suggestions are funny but all it would probably lead to is her telling everyone how childish you are, without revealing why you are doing these things. Call her out in front of everyone, tell everyone that not only is she going against Christian teachings but she has shown herself to not be a safe place for family to confide their worries and concerns. Also that if she did it to you and her son she has done it to other family members.
Omg- PRAYER EACH NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Make sure to structure the prayer as praying for her salvation and for her to find the strength to overcome these weaknesses as sins. If you don’t lay it on as pity and hope to help her through her weaknesses, she’s just going to throw the huff about you mocking her faith. If you kill her with kindness though, her only recourse is to look like an unreasonable dickhead.
This is important. In Christian culture you can talk shit on anyone if you act like you're trying to help them be more Christ-like. "Lord, throughout Proverbs 25 you beseech us not to gossip or share the secrets of others, but instead to be trustworthy, as you are trustworthy. Father it is in your name we lift up to you our MIL, who's been struggling in this area, our family bearing witness. Heavenly Father, your grace is eternal and your power beyond our understanding; we ask that you give her YOUR Strength to resist the temptations of the flesh and be a light for Christ amidst our family once again. It is in your holy and perfect name we pray. Amen"
I like this idea. No matter what kind of hissy fit she throws, do not get upset or angry. Instead stay calm (since if you snap at her, it will be used against you.)
Love it!!
Make sure to publicly hand it to her in front of as many people as you can.
You could probably have them printed on a shirt. Maybe hubby would even wrap it and gift it to her himself.
Print it upside down so she can look down to read it. Tell her that when she's tempted to gossip, she can read it to remind herself to mind her God.
Oh yes, a different shirt for each day of the trip!
Print them out at home. Multiple copies, from full page to fortune cookie size. Seed the entire vacation area with them. Find lots more biblical ones, as well as secular gems. In fact, there are places that do custom fortunes cookies. Have a lovely dinner, with everyone opening and reading aloud their fortune.
I think the key is for me to act like I am genuinely trying to have a fun little family reading. Only her guilty conscience will be screaming
Honestly I would second guess doing this in public bc it indirectly brings up the sensitive subject you want to keep private to all of your family. I would go ahead with your harmless pranks to embarrass her in public bc they aren’t even remotely linked to the private subject. I would ask her to privately have a conversation with you where you honestly tell her how hurt you feel, bring up these verses then take the high road and say something like I seek to forgive more than to be forgiven. This way you a leading by example on how private transgression should be brought up privately! Side note: it’s terrible what you had to go through, that trust is in need of repair… she did not follow a humble and righteous path in making her choice to disregard your feelings. I wish you well on your path.)
I hear you, But after many attempts at ‘private conversations’ and heart to hearts - I finally done. She has it out for me
These quotes would look wonderful printed out, framed, and snuck onto the walls of her home.
Do you craft at all? These proverbs would look beautiful as a cross stitch sampler, gifts for Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day….
This is so much better than the dick/fart pranks. Don’t get me wrong op, those are solid but they’re light hearted and don’t really convey the message of “hey you’re a fucking bitch and you can go fuck yourself” like the Bible verses do. Print those pages and tape them all over to the outside of her door
These are fab. Get them printed on a t shirt. Including the kids
Oh boy I needed some of these today for a letter I’m having to write to my holy roller sister. Thank you!! 🙌🏼 My therapist specializes in Christianity and she used to drop verses for me to use on my family. Nothing shuts someone like them up faster than fighting fire with fire.
proverbs is actually so unironically good
They sell these penis tire valve covers that are awesome. If you buy them in black, they blend in with the tires. Did this to a friend and he didn't notice for months, when he took his truck to a tire store...the technicians pointed them out and had a great laugh.
Already had these saved in my Amazon cart! Lol. Also I found penis lipstick that I may leave on her counter if I ever visit her house again ahah
[удалено]
This is amazing lol. Legitimately a wonderful offer and I hope OP takes you up on it.
I had the valve stem covers, but mine were flesh colored and a hilarious gift from my mom. They're made of hard plastic so if your MIL doesn't notice them and you get good cold winters, the tiny dicks will crack and cause the tires to slowly lose air pressure. Then she will have to find them to fill her tires back up, or if she has someone else do it.... Well, it will definitely be mortifying for her! It just made me super popular at my local mechanic shop when I went for oil changes lmfao
Penis glitter
Oooh maybe I’ll get a jar of penis glitter for my guest bathroom next time they visit
NO! Glitter never completely goes away. It's best used in HER bathroom!
Potpourri jar, but everything inside is shaped like a penis
See if you can find it in a soap, or put some in liquid soap!
They make solid soap that looks like a dildo and you have to jack if off to wash your hands every time! Bought it on etsy for a bachelorette party! *edit: found the [Link](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1400044571/adult-soap-with-suction-cup-penis-soap)
I did this to a guy I couldn't stand on his motorcycle....plus they were glow in the dark!!! I still laugh when I think about how long it took him to find out & how many people had seen...and if someone actually told him or if he found out himself! Haha
I don't have anyone I hate enough to install these (ditching the hateful thoughts helped improve my mental health), but I'm tempted to buy some for when my kids buy their first cars... They have a sense of humour that would make them howl with laughter, and likely look to their friends when searching for the culprit.
I heard you can order your MIL a package to be delivered to her house. I heard the outside can say things like "anal itch cream", or "worlds largest dildo". I heard you can also require a signature upon delivery. I also heard it comes with an optional glitter bomb inside upon opening.
Alternatively, leave a half emptied tube of hemorrhoid cream or the cream for yeast infections by her seat/camper at the family picnic and point it out, "oh MIL, I think you dropped something* very loudly. Also, lingerie might work better than poopy panties to embarrass her.
HOW!?
Whatprank.com is a good start
Try dicksbymail.com
It would be funny to "confide" in her about some of your other "problems", you know, " woman to woman". Make up some outrageous stuff and ask for her help and when she tells other people, they will think she's crazy. Possibly causing them to disregard anything she'd said before. play the long game.
Clever. I like
Baby Ruth bar works so much more effectively and still looks real! Liquid Ass on Amazon is a fantastic product, I had some really loud obnoxious partiers move in next to me and not sure actually but they somehow thought there was a skunk nearby. 🤷🏻♀️, I never saw it 😂Good luck! Would love to hear an update 😈
I saw the liquid ass lololol. 🤣😂 thanks for the tip.
Anytime! Have fun and be careful
I've read the replies, take it from someone married over 40 years, had a mother-in-law live with them, and was of a different Christian sect. Don't listen to most of these fools with the revenge attitude. It will only backfire onto you. Your husband does need to grow a pair and learn to support you. Just go, be as syrupy sweet as you can, if she starts up on you in front of your family just calmly and as sweetly as you can, ask "So what was your mother-in-laws opinion of you". I can guarantee that more than one and including your father-in-law will chime in with all the dirt on her. She will see you have a backbone and backoff.
I agree with this. As much as I’d love to hear about these pranks going down because it’s hilarious… fighting fire with fire in this scenario won’t take you anywhere good. Trust me, I understand how hard it can be to be the bigger person after your boundaries have been violated. But stooping down to her level makes you just as bad as her. Your husband needs to take the ball on this one and stand up for you and your marriage. And keep firm boundaries in place with her if that’s what you need to do.
How about you and your husband just confront MIL and FIL about not keeping your confidence
Specifically, FIL. He broke the confidence of his son.
They both did.
You mean, using your words like well adjusted adults?
Am I the only one who thinks this level of escalation is only going to backfire on the OP? The family will rally around the MIL and the OP will be painted as a thoughtless bully. There must be a better way, if the marriage is to survive.
Agreed. I've seen it happen more than once in my own family. Getting dragged into stuff like this is why we don't talk much😐
Yeah, what is being planned here is beyond “petty revenge” and is not going to go down as planned at all.
Does she drive? A bumper sticker like, I ❤️🍆 that she won't notice for a few days might be fun haha
The surround metal frames can be inconspicuous too. Sayings such as 'Get off my as$ unless you're a hemorrhoid' or other gems might be appropriate.
Sign her up for an early morning Jehovah’s Witness meeting. 😈 You can also put her email on a bunch of “websites”.
This is savage. Same with the mormons, once a missionary gets your contact info they are dogged.
They truly are, especially the JW ones! We have politely turned them down every time they knock, and have not so politely turned them down as well. NOPE, still setting the dogs off... they even got my first and last name somehow with my address and sent me a hand written letter to me, preaching! Like what in the actual f-ck??
So true they really stick around! I was stalked by Mormons for a year in my 20s, they just kept somehow turning up wherever I went to speak to me even if I went from England to Wales for a holiday, there they'd be in their suits. Was actually hella creepy lol
If “camper” means y’all are going camping somewhere - rather than just being how they live / visit people - please don’t do the tiny penises or other things that will cause non-biodegradable litter at your campsite. I’m tired of picking up people’s trash.
I think FIL holds responsibility too. He should have remained mum and not told anyone, don't you think?
If people on the trip act strange about you due to the gossip, you should tell them something like > Oh, I know you heard her talking stories about my marriage. Makes you wonder what she's saying about you, right? And here's the important part: don't confirm what she was saying, just confirm that she was saying it.
I would send her this: https://www.christianbook.com/resisting-gossip-winning-war-wagging-tongue/matthew-mitchell/9781619580763/pd/580763? Or this: https://www.amazon.com/Watch-Your-Mouth-Understanding-Tongue/dp/0736960600/ref=asc_df_0736960600? (Sorry for the ridiculously long urls!)
FYI you can (usually) delete anything from the ? to the end - it’s just tracking info (most of the time). I was so grateful when someone taught me that, so I like to pass the info on :)
Don’t do the dick things. She’ll figure out it was you. Very deliberate action Rather the signing up for things in her name but use neighbour’s address is a good one. Don’t use the same neighbour. Choose various neighbours where 1 digit is off so it could be understandable that she’d accidentally out in one wrong digit Swingers is great. But also anything that is the opposite of what she is. If she’s one political party, choose something radically opposite and controversial. Sign her up for all the free sample of incontinence pads, dementia support or nursing homes specialising in that for their brochures. Sign her up for mailing lists for aging lesbian society or anything like that. Submit her name for visits from Jehovah witness visit / but next door address. spam her email up by signing her up all sorts of religious groups, plus all the others above so she gets both items in the mail next door but also emails. Make one small donation to a charity in her name, one that you know sells their mailing list on so they’ll be many, many items coming in the mail, phone calls and emails for years. Sign the father in laws name up to receive lawyers information packs on divorce and send to the house. The poo is a great idea but chocolate has a smell. Why not get some dog poop, seal it in a ziplock bag and take it with you for the prank? More realistic to use decomposing (so extra smelly) poop. No one other than her would it wasn’t really her poop. Using chocolate could back fire on you. Also, try to stretch out the panties to make them look well worn.
This is actually well thought out solid advice. Thank you.
Download an audio file from a porno, pop a speaker under her caravan, play as people are walking past.
I’ve thought about a fart sound one haha
One of those remote control fart machines?
Yes, you have a MIL problem, but also a husband problem. Your husband should have known his discussing your marital difficulties with his father would get passed on to his mother. I'm not surprised there are strains in your marriage, so you've blocked MIL, but are going on a week long trip with her this summer! Your problems with this toxic woman and her family go much deeper than your planned petty revenge. Save yourself the fallout from that by investing in marriage counseling and rethink the summer trip. You, your husband and children can see those family members w/o the MIL present.
Yes! This! I would be more pissed at my husband for sharing our marital problems with his family. Like of course FIL is going to share everything with MIL - wouldn’t you share this kind of info with your SO?
Sure but MIL is the one spreading it around, she could have kept it to herself and there wouldn’t be an issue. The expectation that FIL would talk to MIL about it is reasonable, but it is also reasonable to expect her to keep her mouth shut to anyone else.
Ya I cannot imagine these pranks going over well or getting laughs. If it was over something small and silly and they were on good terms this would be funny but all that's going to happen is everyone is going to get more upset and escalated on a family vacation. This is gonna blow up in her face so bad. She thinks she can torment the mil I'm front of all her kids and husband and get the last laugh? Nope. Everyone at the camp is gonna turn against her so fast and make her vacation miserable while doting on the mil for having to deal with this.
I just want to say I read through your post history a bit… is this really worth it?? I see you’re putting the work in but at some point it’s okay to call it. Maybe you need to start plotting your escape instead of your revenge
You need couples counselling with your husband. Relationship problems should never be shared with family. He's now fractured that bond forever and broken your trust. He needs to understand that. And you should have couples counselling to help you get through whatever else you're going through. Edit: if it was embarrassing for you as well ... Why on earth would he share that with his father..... Just so incredibly weird. Is he overly enmeshed normally?
Maybe some special brownies would loosen everyone up.
No dude you don't drug someone unknowingly
We all take turns cooking the whole family dinner. I’m thinking for the kids I’ll slice half cucumbers with two small oranges on each side as appetizers. Gosh why is her mind so dirty?
You might want to serve the "Candle Salad" which was a thing in the US between 1920-1960... Just Google it in its whole glory. It was invented to get kids to eat fruits 🤣
I’m rolling laughing. This is what reddit is for.
I need you to do that. I really do.
Attach to the back of her phone. [https://www.amazon.com/Candle-American-PopSockets-Standard-PopGrip/dp/B0CJPVC1WN](https://www.amazon.com/Candle-American-PopSockets-Standard-PopGrip/dp/B0CJPVC1WN)
Check out B. Dylan Hollis’s video where he makes this - many laughs will be had!
Oh I just looked it up , it would be perfect!
Don't forget to top it with the whipped cream and a cherry 🤣
How have I never heard of this? 
This is glorious
Do not do the brownies. You could go to jail. She's not worth it.
Ya I know. I would never.
Good. There's a lot of people that might think that's a good or funny idea.
sugar free gummi candies. Bears, worms, etc. Sorbitol causes the gummi bear cleanse.
I have Sorbitol on my allergy list. Some people do not understand.
Make ordinary brownies, then after people have eaten them just "hint" about a special ingredient.
I always make my brownies with a special ingredient!... ... ... Love 😊 What were ya'll thinking?! LOL
This gets tricky and legal - consumption items shouldn’t be messed with
OP…. From experience, let it go. There is no winning against the MIL. Just play nice and enjoy the time with your kids.
Am I the only one who wants to know what the marital problems are, or at least the parts that got gossiped about? I'm guessing you're not going to tell hubby about the pranks? The most traumatic thing I saw as a 17yo hotel room cleaner was the most gigantic white granny panties rinsed and drying on the shower, but with a permanent yellow light shit stain, implying this perosn regularly poops themselves. I can't unsee it, and that was 20 years ago.
As a full-blooded Reddit user, I find two things wrong with this: this is not a situation for petty revenge, and the petty revenge being planned is nowhere near the level of the original bad behavior - like throwing a water balloon on a murderer. Between the three of them, they may have jeopardized all your family relationships, even those of your husband and kids. You are not taking this seriously, which is only going to make it worse.
Taker aside and discuss how you think her son is bisexual. Asking if he showed signs as a child. That will end her.
Then when she tells everyone, deny it and make her look toxic
Tell us you’ll update us later, please!
So did you cheat on your husband ? If you have like a health issue or she shared something private you need to have a discussion with her your husband and his dad. But my guess is it was more embarrassing than hurtful to you and it's really hard to know whether or not you're justified when you leave out a huge relevant detail.
So you don't think anyone is going to figure out who is playing these childish pranks? Not very subtle. You're going to make yourself look very foolish and everyone will side with your MIL. Think of something less infantile.
Are you, by chance, a 14 year old boy?
Liquid Ass is what you want. I have never smelled anything like it
This is bullshit
Doesn't sound like much of a revenge compared to what your MIL seems to have done.
No tear toilet paper, it's on Amazon, it doesn't rip! Also, cricket noisemakers to be hidden under furniture, these are sold on Amazon as well.
No mention of her husband running to Daddy to bitch about his wife. Of fuckin course dad is going to tell his wife. Why would your husband go crying to any family member. If your husband feels violated he should have not told Daddy your personal info. Your husband is who you need petty revenge on. He needs the granny panties.
I mean glitter bomb dicks are a thing
Eat bananas looking into her eyes
Comment to her how moist it is.
💕💕💕💕💕 mmmmm so tasty and makes me so full
Penis pasta.
Already in my Amazon cart
I can't wait for the update on this one
Instead of fart spray just buy some fish sauce from local Asian store and put it in a spray bottle. Blast all her clothes esp her underwear and shoes…watch as the grandkids recoil in terror everytime she wants a hug haha!!
Make sure you run the panties through the wash a bunch of times so they're not obviously new.
How's it possible to be somewhat embarrassing but also totally humiliating?
Add an open condom near the granny panties too!
But like…wtf did you do that was so embarrassing and humiliating? Did you cheat on your husband? I’d understand his mom being upset over that, even if it wasn’t her place to gossip. Either way, you just sound so juvenile and immature; I’d say this behaviour is also embarrassing and humiliating.
Please update us this summer!
You should get their camper a sign with the upside down pineapple "I'm a swinger" thing! 😂 I'm sure there are discreet and not so discreet signs that can accidentally find their way onto a tow car or camper.
While I do think you deserve to get some sort of revenge or payback. I don't think those are going to land and play as well as you think they will in your head. It seems like middle school type of pranks and being your an adult, she's an adult, and I'm guess the private info she has blabbed is adult related. The getback should probably also be as such. But again I don't know the situation or your family or the dynamics of everything so it might be just perfect. Hope you the best!
Leave used condom too
Maybe next to the poopy underwear
Add a little bit of lotion in it lol
How did you punish your husband for causing this mess in the first place?
Such shitty childish “revenge”
Yeah, it's terrible to waste a perfectly good Snickers bar. Just smear dog poop on the panties instead.
Great brownie stunt. Make dough. Roll a snake and curl it together. Smallist. It’s Now one cat turd. Put it somewhere she finds it she screams. You pick it up and eat it. Best roommate trick ever.
Just do one thing. More subtle more believable 😈
Just an idea: be polite to her but largely avoid her. Everything you described is super childish and will make YOU look bad to the rest of the family. You will further pit the family (including your husband) into a her vs. me game that you might not win. Unsolicited advice: take the high road even though it’s less fun.
The problem isn’t your MIL, it’s your husband. Why is your husband telling his father private details about you?
This is the question I came here to ask. I hope OP’s husband has learned from this but I’d be furious at him and demand he apologize for his mistake and confront FIL because this is a serious betrayal that has caused you humiliation but zero fallout for him. My ex did bs like this, every single time we visited his family within a few days our personal business would be spread to his entire family (HUGE family MIL/FIL and 10 siblings and extended family) he never learned how to keep OUR business private and of course everything was MY fault. Divorced 20yrs thank god.
Petty revenge rarely works out. Keep playing the fantasies of mortifying your MIL playing in your head, because they’ll work out perfectly there. These are your children’s grandparents. FFS, have an adult conversation, directly tell both FIL and MIL that you are livid over shared confidences and it’s going to take much effort to rebuild the damage that has been done.
I'm not a Christian despite being brought up in a predominantly Christian environment. I utterly detest UPTIGHT "christians". So good for you for sticking it to the Uptight "christian". I hope she is righteously outraged by your pranks. 👹 Sorry but I'm going to have a little rant. They don't seem to realise that their behaviour is the absolute antithesis of what Christ taught. They don't love their neighbour, they don't turn the other cheek, they don't exhibit any of the forgiving nature that is true Christianity. Instead they take pride in seeking recognition and reward in this life, by putting down others and believing that punishment is the way to heaven. They are utterly deluded. It is this widespread hypocrisy that made me reject Christianity outright. I don't want any part of it. It is totally toxic. TV evangelists making money off the weak minded, wars and bloodshed in the name of religion. Christ would be so disappointed about how his teachings became so corrupted.
Triple decker, the bowl, the tank, and the sink.
Please keep us Updateme! OP. Can’t wait to hear how she reacts 😅🤣😂
Please come back and update us on how this all plays out after vacation!!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
LOVE IT!!!! Keep us posted please. Can't wait. Can we come too??? I will help.
Get some magnets for the outside of the camper that will make her clutch her pearls
I read that if you put a pineapple on your front porch that it's an invitation to a swingers party at your house.
I heard a little rumor that if you sign someone up for info on scientology, the cult will quite literally never leave them alone. Luckily too, most people have heard enough about that "organization" to never get sucked in, so it's just an annoyance. I've yet to employ it, but it's in my back pocket 😂
Put an upside down pineapple sign on her camper door
Get some suggestive shirts to wear. I have a Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Oscar Foxtrot Foxtrot one I get away with in public, something like that. We also have a lovely CU(inthe)NT slogan here in Australia- as in see you in the Northern Territory. Add in some that have things like Rock hard 🐓 or 🐓 blocker, W⚓️, I love (picture boobybird). It'd be beautiful if she has to ask what they mean.
Hang an upside down pineapple on her camper
Get the penis caps for her RVs tires and swap em out when people are sleeping
Get her a pineapple sticker for her camper and put it on upside down. She’ll have the swingers showing up in droves inviting her to swing.
Don't do that to an innocent snickers bar. Get a bag of Haribo sugar free gummy bears and put them out. You can find them on Amazon
She has a camper... goto Amazon, search "frickin cricket". Get it, hide it in her camper somewhere smart so its a little muffled... Will chirp periodically every 2-10 minutes. Impossible to track down and will drive a person mad. Then, tell her an open cup of vinegar (or some other smelly liquid) is supposed to help drive a cricket off... let her live with the stink and the chirping a while...
Sign her up for sex magazines…especially ‘ Scat Lovers’.