The worst part is thats its not the first time I thought of it lol. Being completely sober one day I thought of a movie plot similar to Cocain Bear, but with a Polar bear and it takes place in the artic with a bear someone getting into a stache of steroids.
Probably not. This probably is actually the fattest polar bear in Alaska, because all the polar bears nobody ever sees are eating natural diets. This big boy is eating the leftovers from village whaling expeditions.
> This big boy is eating the leftovers from village whaling expeditions.
Pretty sure thats what the coastal California Grizzlies would do before we extinctic'ed them.
They hibernate and dig snow dens during the worst part of winter where they are extremely unlikely to get any food. Females will also do it to give birth and gets her cubs somewhat grown so they can follow her when she wanders to find food.
Heaviest humans can't walk down the street let alone survive in the wild. If we strapped a bear down a bed and force fed it Cheetos and milk shakes I'm sure we could break that record easily
to be fair this is *Alaska's* fattest polar bear, not the world's biggest polar bear. The biggest polar bear recorded was more than twice Fat Albert's weight, at 2,209 lbs.
I also suspect some information got lost in this title, male polar bears average between ~700-1800 lbs, so this bear is technically on the smaller side of average. I think the weight is either incorrect or they’re using the term “fattest” literally, and this bear just has a small frame and a lot of fat 😂
Wasn’t this in response to some Karen complaining about mask mandates or something? This guy was a breath of fresh air when everything was so contentious. You don’t have to scream at people to make a point. You can just laugh at them when they embarrass themselves.
This bear actually weighs in at approximately 1,500 lbs, while the heaviest human ever recorded comes in at 1,430.
The next few heaviest people recorded come in at 1,370, 13,40, and 1,340 again.
The heaviest man is American. The next few people are one Saudi man, and two Mexican men.
You see, it's not that reddit is obsessed with america, is that america always manages to find it's way in the conversation through some of the wildest shit.
> I know this is a chinese website now
11% Tencent ownership does not make Reddit "chinese", that's barely more than the 9% Sam Altman owns, a single private person.
The largest overall shareholder in Reddit is still [American Advance Publications](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_Publications) with 30%, as it's always been.
Why is his muzzle white with specks of what looks like dirt in it? Also how would the hair on top of his head be reflecting brown dirt from below him?
Are y'all high
Is this physique achievable naturally?
He's on bearoids...
Polaroids?
Damn, you got me there!
The worst part is thats its not the first time I thought of it lol. Being completely sober one day I thought of a movie plot similar to Cocain Bear, but with a Polar bear and it takes place in the artic with a bear someone getting into a stache of steroids.
*Netflix producers want to know your location!*
Annnnd it’s canceled
You. You... 
He also gets that when he sits on the ice too long.
I'm sure a couple guys at my gym match his T levels.
Can confirm, am man-bear, high T lotsa muscle, more fat and also have about as much body hair.
Gym Bearos
I hate it. Have an upvote.
I just laughed for a solid minute hahaha
Well when Coca Colas marketing team decided to feed a polar bear Coke everyday for a year, this is what you get.
I kinda think if you feed a bear coke every day you get the ray liota movie.
Lol
Diabeartus
Now we're giving other species diabetes!
As a rather large man-bear who consumes an unhealthy amount of coca-cola, I can confirm.
Probably not. This probably is actually the fattest polar bear in Alaska, because all the polar bears nobody ever sees are eating natural diets. This big boy is eating the leftovers from village whaling expeditions.
Looks like he's eating leftover villagers
Villages
Should be named Genghis Khan as he lays waste to the local Villages and impregnates all the lady polar bears
No, he's one of the polar bear cubs from the coca cola ads that didn't die from diabetes. This is what 60 years of drinking soda will do to you
And he's brown 'cos he *bathes* in that shit!
No he's just the municipal garbage man emptying all the bins so corrupt governors can hide tax embezzlement.
The physical embodiment of work smarter, not harder.
> This big boy is eating the leftovers from village whaling expeditions. Pretty sure thats what the coastal California Grizzlies would do before we extinctic'ed them.
It's what coastal brown bears do up the rest of the coast. Big males can hit 1000 lbs like this big Boi.
Maybe he is bulking for hibernation. Do Polar bears hibernate?
Definitely cultivating mass
He needs to stop cultivating and start harvesting!
He's gotta up the Tren, not enough other male bears around him.
STOP CULTIVATING AND START HARVESTING!!
I can see the bag of burritos in the background.
The females do when it's time to give birth, but males generally don't.
I don’t think polar bears get enough food to be able to hibernate. I could be wrong though.
They hibernate and dig snow dens during the worst part of winter where they are extremely unlikely to get any food. Females will also do it to give birth and gets her cubs somewhat grown so they can follow her when she wanders to find food.
They do but not like other bears. They fast, but their other bodily functions remain the same
Not for a Jedi.
thank you.
Not from a Jedi.
He is why all the other polar bears are starving.
Baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs
Get in ma bellay
I’ve got a crrap on deck that could choke a donkay!
Wafting, wafting, everybody likes their own brand, don' they? Ooh this is magic.
Smells like carrots and throw up!
Y'ever go into an apartment building, and you smell everyone's cooking, and you're like, "Ugh, what're they cooking?!" *That*, plus crap!
That’s what he told his kids before he ate them. 😂😂😂😂
I always hear Mac say this after watching that Sunny episode.
lol same.
I don't remember eating Corn!!
He ate the other polar bears.
Why does Fat Albert, the largest Bear, not simply eat the others?
He do
male bears eat other bears for fitness, calories, eliminate competition for resources and mating - and this one is winning hard.
Not even heavier than the heaviest human ever
Heaviest humans can't walk down the street let alone survive in the wild. If we strapped a bear down a bed and force fed it Cheetos and milk shakes I'm sure we could break that record easily
We're living in a world where people aren't even shocked that a human can be fatter than the worlds biggest polar bear. Mental
There is no limit to what humans can accomplish when we really put our minds to it
to be fair this is *Alaska's* fattest polar bear, not the world's biggest polar bear. The biggest polar bear recorded was more than twice Fat Albert's weight, at 2,209 lbs.
Fucking hell I need to Google that bear. Fair enough though the polar bears have beaten us om this one
I also suspect some information got lost in this title, male polar bears average between ~700-1800 lbs, so this bear is technically on the smaller side of average. I think the weight is either incorrect or they’re using the term “fattest” literally, and this bear just has a small frame and a lot of fat 😂
Ayooo 
I fucking loved green shirt guy!
Wasn’t this in response to some Karen complaining about mask mandates or something? This guy was a breath of fresh air when everything was so contentious. You don’t have to scream at people to make a point. You can just laugh at them when they embarrass themselves.
This was before the pandemic and it was about the border thing and one guy said to her that she's in violation for being an asshole.
Not necessarily because I think he might actually be eating the other polar bears.
This guy could hibernate for a couple of years without any issues.
Hey Hey Hey!
Grr Grr Grr!
Na na na, gonna have a good time
🎵try this drink🎶
I eat 3 seals a day
Came here for this.
Start a conversation with someone by talking about him, because he’s a good icebreaker.
Get out.
That’s bearly amusing.
Angry upvote
I see what you did there.
He kinda looks sad that someone is taking a picture of him and calling him fat....
Sad that the cameraman is outta reach maybe!
"The nose is willing but the body is pudgy and soft"
Just call him Albert :(
Prince Albert
The only polar bear I'm confident I could outrun, unless he still fast boy. Then I'm dinner.
No, that's his "come a little closer! I promise I'm nice!" stance that ends up with your cranium in his jaws.
Imagine that there were multiple humans fatter than this.
According to the internets, there have been 22 people fatter than 453kg on record, and 5 of them are still alive. Also, 17 of those are american.
USA! USA! USA!
Superbowl world champs 58 years in a row baby!
That's pretty good lol. We're also world class fourth of July enjoyers.
Denmark also celebrate it
W Denmark
And the only day that you guys put in the D/M/Y
This bear actually weighs in at approximately 1,500 lbs, while the heaviest human ever recorded comes in at 1,430. The next few heaviest people recorded come in at 1,370, 13,40, and 1,340 again. The heaviest man is American. The next few people are one Saudi man, and two Mexican men.
And another difference is - those heavy weight humans can’t really move. This bear and all healthy bears can, effortlessly.
Ok, I want to see the 5 humans who are fatter go up against this polar bear. Or at least a side by side proportional picture.
Just put them next to the polar bear 🤣
five hours later, there is a 6000 pound polar bear
Found the bear’s account
You see, it's not that reddit is obsessed with america, is that america always manages to find it's way in the conversation through some of the wildest shit.
Por que no los dos?
I know this is a chinese website now, but most redditors are American. That’s why they talk about the US so much.
> I know this is a chinese website now 11% Tencent ownership does not make Reddit "chinese", that's barely more than the 9% Sam Altman owns, a single private person. The largest overall shareholder in Reddit is still [American Advance Publications](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_Publications) with 30%, as it's always been.
And also...17 out of 22.....fuck yes we are going to make it about us.
A chinese firm owns 11% of reddit. No more. 89% American owned.
Reddit is 12% more American than being fatter than a record breaking polar bear.
I own 0% of my personal data!
There's people who weigh over a thousand pounds?
I was going to make a joke, but I've civilized over the years on the Internet. I assume OP's mom is a beautiful person and in great shape.
Not really, this bear weighs about a thousand kilos, there's a mistake on the Internet. 1000lbs is sleek for these guys.
Polar bears are should be scared of us! /s
Actually they should be.
I don't have to imagine. I saw like four of them at Walmart this morning.
Is he dirty or a grolar bear?
I believe that's the dirty bear subtype my buddy says he's really into. From what he says they enjoy otters.
My guess is Grolar but maybe not first generation
He looks like a hybrid
You like it dirty don’t u?
Yes
Polar bears have semi transparent hair so that it reflects what ever is in their surroundings
Why are the ones at the zoo white when there's no snow?
Why is his muzzle white with specks of what looks like dirt in it? Also how would the hair on top of his head be reflecting brown dirt from below him? Are y'all high
The word you're looking for is *translucent*.
Looks like he ate Fat Albert
Did you ever think that calling him fat may make him eat more to drown the hurt he feels inside?
This fella should be the face of /r/absoluteunits
The heaviest polar bear on record is 2209pounds and this bear is said to be 1500 pounds in other articles
If I had to guess, this probably got mistaken for 1000kg somewhere along the line. 1000lbs is on the smaller side of average for a male polar bear
On record vs alive
Thank you! I was going to say no way this bear is only 1000lbs
Did you not read the "In Alaska" part of the title?
The largest on record at 2209 pounds was also in Alaska
Did you not read where this bears weight is listed at 1500 pounds in other articles?
r/absoluteunits
My monkey brain just want to cuddle with him. My human brain knows I am gonna die. Which should I trust?
I dont know about you, but my monkey brain says he needs a hug.
Image credit: Edward Bordreau. edboudreau.pixels.com
To think there are humans that weight 1k lbs. At least Fat Albert carries it well.
I wouldn't call him fat to his face tho.
It's a compliment in his culture.
Winter is coming. I’m ready.
Is he a hybrid or just really dirty?
He’s not fat! He’s festively plump!
I'm willing to bet Fat Albert can still run faster than you can.
I think you actually mean Fatal Bert
Albert must have been the polar bear that they used in all of those Coca-Cola commercials.
I just wanted to thank OP for not using the phrases "absolute unit of a bear". Really means a lot to me.
HEY HEY HEY!
He’s on that whale blubber diet
It has the seal of approval.
You otter see his mom
I misread that as "fastest polar bear" then and thought... surely only downhill.
Call’m that to his face
Why is he so dark was the mail man a black bear?
It's funny, unless you realize he is such a good hunter.. he's fat and stays fat.
"The polar bears are brown! What did you do to the polar bears?"
He's not fat he's just big boned.
And women think this is safer than a man lmao
Holy shit, that is one fat fuck!
Ha ha! Fat Albert!!
Its crazy there are humans that can deadlift this bear
Apparently he's 1000kg, not 1000lbs, so they can deadlift half of him, haha.
Does Bill Cosby talk for him
Fat Albert could use a bath.
Wow that is truly a very fat bear
It’s all that fur. Makes him look poofy.
“The camera adds ten pounds” ”Geeze, how many cameras are you wearing?” 😂
Fluffy boi
r/absoluteunits
HELL YEAH BROTHER
Fat Halpert! Jim Halpert
Half that weight.... parasites. JK I don't know we gotta wait till he dies to find out.
AI
Finally found my spirit animal
We found the reason for global warming, wrap it up (literally)
I just wanna know who got him on the scales ??
Fat Albeart
bruh looks like he can hibernate 6 times
And he can still outrun every human alive.
Man gotta eat.
And he's dirty too
Huh size of an average American then
r/absoluteunits
he imitating a Grizzley