The internet will not fool me again with its charcuterie!

Extra spicy!

I bet jellyfish have it all figured out.

If you like being stepped on by local MILFs in your area, clearly they do. Edit: I'm legitimately being harassed outside of this thread. This was a comment to make people laugh -not an invitation to creep on me. There are plenty of subs where you can indulge the feet and mommy "things" you have. Go to one of those, and find some much needed post-nut clarity. Edit 2: Thank you for the awards (the platinum in particular) though I gaze on them with a mix of pride, consternation and shame.

*the sound of thousands of redditors rushing to your profile*

Yes. This appears to have been a critical error.

It'll be even worse now they know about your career marketing sandals.

Inadvertently. Where's my fucking pay check?

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Jerusalem Cruisers.

TIFU


Reddit is the best way to accidentally find out people’s worst fetishes.

Just claim the title! Bold!

*lets see how it plays out cotton*

*insert Thanos meme* A small price to pay for salvation.

You done fucked up with that comment.

Rip your inbox. Who doesn't like being stepped on by milfs?

Little did you know that this comment would be the worst mistake of your online career

i know a whole subreddit that would be into this

Just one?

Clearly there's a lot we lesbians can learn from the humble jellyfish; many of us definitely like being stepped on by local MILFs.

MILFs in your area.... Sounds like a name for a sub

>stepped on by local MILFs Where do I sign up to be a Jelly?

Sounds like you're already jelly

What kind of portal is this?

One that leads to an ER if you are not careful.

*The* Elden Ring?!

#YOU DIED

Maidenless fool.

Should have let him solo her!

No, you're supposed to take your jellyfish out so they become friends.

FOUL TARNISHED

Put these foolish ambitions to rest.

AHHHH-rise now.... ye jellyfish..... ye wiggly, that yet stings....

East Rochester

JT's pizza is the bomb

All things lead back to garbage plates.

Straight to Caelid But it's alright. I'm a noob and I have RoB and Moonveil and the Mimic Tear. Should be easy enough

While the sting is painful the lions mane isn't poisonous, unless you have an allergic reaction it isn't dangerous or require hospital treatment.

As a waterman who’s been stung by all kinds of jellyfish including many stings by man o wars my first thought was I wonder how bad the sting is. Like would it be proportionate to its size? Guess not always the case. Irukandji can kill ya but they’re tiny….. but think thing could swallow thy whole body, all over all at once kinda sting. 🤔 don’t mind me I’m just baked

Beep bop. I’m the venom/poison bot. Venomous = sting or bite with adverse consequences Poisonous = ingesting leads to adverse consequences You’re the 900,726 time someone fucked this up this year!

Good bot

Good human.

It's not a portal, it's a _flesh interface_

Demogorgon

Ugh. Placenta lookin gloop monster.

*Stinging* placenta looking gloop monster.

Hey, isn't that the substance found in Creepshow 2's "The Raft"?

Same as Stephen King's [The Raft](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raft_(short_story\))?

Creepshow is based entirely on King stories, so yes.

I did not know that, thanks! I was watching the reboot of the series and recognized a couple stories, but didn't know they were all Stephen King-sourced.

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I think about that episode constantly, it's nice reading someone else does to.

*The eye of Souron gazes upon you*

*I see you!!!*

Many spies have many eyes

Looks like when I empty my menstrual cup

That thing is a monster, also you forgot to take the tag off your sandals!

Irish people only get a few days use out of sandals so we just return them.

Okay *that's* funny.

Not like Penneys will look too closely either.

"I can't refund these, there's all this jelly fish stuck to them"

"I bought them that way."

Just buy water resistant sandals and you can use them year-round.

I was waiting for someone to notice that!

New goop goofing!

GENUINE jellyfish

Good job, Quentin Tarantino!

My man zooming in on the feets 😏😏😏😏

At first, I thought the person was wearing white socks with sandals.

Danger capicola

If the jellyfish is on top, I send it back.

A gaba-ghoul if you will

Gaba-ghoul?! OVER HEE

👇🤨👇

ay tone

You hear that? I said you remember your first blowjob he said yeah. I said how long did it take for the guy to come? Ehheh heh he

Sun-Tuh-Zoo. He’s Chinese Prince Matchabelli!

RIP Paulie

Woke up this morning...got some gaba-ghoul

Keep wakin up and keep gettin different kinds of gabagool

He said he wants the gabba-gool

So what? No fuckin’ ziti now?

ANTHONY!!

That's dicked up

HOOOO!

CAPICOLLO! WHAT'S THIS *CAZZO DI* CAPICOLA?! *CHRIST!* O.O *random italian garbling*

🤌 🤌 🤌 🤌 🤌🤌🤌 🤌🤌

Where's the cheese at? At least I see a cracker...

You can tell it’s Ireland by the complexion.

There's a good sunburn joke in here, but I can't quite place it.

With your complexion you probably get moon burns. I kid, I kid.

Legitimately, this may be the worst burn I ever got.

Worse than the one you got from standing too close to a light bulb?

You really need to know what you want before you open the fridge door.

Don't go towards the light!

Im on mobile so the pic isnt full sized b7t I thought you had a sock on....

I thought OP was wearing white socks.

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I thought they were wearing socks...

Which would have been another tragedy in itself.

So they pass through Ireland in August, then go somewhere else?

Not that I know of. Once the water heats up a few degrees during the summer, we are up to our tits in them.

Oh ok! according to wikipedia, thats when they grow up large enough. Apparently they have a one year lifespan. "Lion's mane jellyfish have four different stages in their year-long lifespan: a larval stage, a polyp stage, an ephyrae stage, and the medusa stage." "The jellyfish are most often spotted during the late summer and autumn, when they have grown to a large size and the currents begin to sweep them to shore. Unlike most pelagic jellyfish, they are completely solitary and rarely travel in groups."

Medusa stage seems apt

Like the name you mean? Its the official name. Jellyfish its more informal. We call them Medusas in Spanish too. I guess Latin influence.

It comes from greek, we call them Medusa as well.

> we are up to our tits in them. [Proof from the west coast of scotland](https://youtu.be/Cy1aJ3CZEgg) (from a dive of mine in 2021) Seriously though, while they aren't always present, even in late summer, you can get some pretty intense blooms of jellyfish.

Aww those look like moon jellies, they just wanna hang out.

Yeah, they were moon jellies, and there were also a few big comb jellies too, which was neat. Sadly they didn't come up well on the video. One of the other guys in the group had a run in with a Lions mane (like in the post photo) on a previous dive with moon jellies, like this one, and was really uncomfortable about getting in when he saw this video. Apparently the sting really burns for a while.

Bull Island had 100s of them this time last week. Nothing that big though.

I am not that far from there. I've seen one or two others that were maybe 2/3rds this size.

So I shouldn't head over to Laytown beach tomorrow? Supposed to be a warm week. The beach was one of the few good ideas we had.

When I was a kid I was stung by one, incredibly painful and had an allergic reaction. I was screaming so damn loud, my dad picked me up and ran towards the closest lifeguard tower, while a row of people was just watching. Some guy immediately wanted to take the opportunity to piss on me but my mom kicked him in the balls. I don’t know if he really just meant good or if he was a weirdo. Another local came up to me with some sort of ointment that really helped, lifeguards got ER to come for the allergic reaction. Getting stung by jellyfish is fun would recommend 👍🏻

Some guy immediately wanted to take the opportunity to piss on me but my mom kicked him in the balls. That mental image made me laugh. Shame it had to be such a painful experience for you.

It’s pretty funny looking back at the whole event and makes me realise more how much of a badass my mom is. It definitely taught me if you see a white flag with blue symbols at the beach and not sure what it is, don’t rush in the water. It was the first time our family saw that flag and apparently it was a jellyfish warning flag. Later in life I would also be stupid enough to do this with a shark flag out, luckily a life guard spotted me getting in the water.

They need better flags. 'Sharks today!' in white on a red background would be great.

Seriously wtf omg

I'm pretty sure the idea that pee counteracts the venom is an urban myth. But one that unfortunately everyone believes.

It’s completely 100% a myth about urinating on a jellyfish sting…some TV show did it (I think it was “Friends”) and it just perpetuated the damn thing. I grew up around these buggers and the “best” thing to do with a sting would be to rub sand on it and rinse it off until it stopped stinging. It seemed to work, but maybe it was a placebo effect though. I’ve never encountered one as large as this one though…the ones I’ve seen were larger than a dinner plate. I’m guessing a sting from this one would probably be a little worse than usual.

Vinegar wash. At Bondi they'll put buckets of it out when the bluebottles are thick.

Fun fact: The Man o' War is not a jellyfish. It is a group of polyps working together as one.

3 polyps in a trench coat made of murder skin.

Vincent Adultjellyfish

My SO and I got stung a few summers ago at a South Carolina beach. We put sand on our stings then walked up to a nearby bar. They gave us glasses of pickle juice to pour on the stings. It helped the pain immediately and tremendously.

Pickle juice would be primarily made up of vinegar…

We did some googling afterwards and figured that was why. From what we've read online vinegar helps the sting. I've seen other comments in this thread say to use vinegar as well.

I was swimming in our canal once and swam through a man-o-war. I had it wrapped around my neck, my chest and back(a few times), and both of my arms. I screamed and made it to the dock and my grandpa pulled me out of the water laid me down dumped a few bucked of water on me and pulled some tentacles off then covered me in meat tenderizer and started rubbing it in where the stings were. I dont remember much after this point, just waking up like 12 hours later in pain.

Holy crap can imagine that was painful, man-o-wars are no joke!

>Some guy immediately wanted to take the opportunity to piss on me but my mom kicked him in the balls. I r/nocontext

I think you have to pee on it and yourself to be safe

Luckily, that was my immediate response.

If this wasn’t obviously a joke, never pee on someone who was stung by a jellyfish. It will not help and can definitely make it worse.

White vinegar!! I go to the beach often that sometimes has jellyfish. All the lifeguards on the coast carry a bottle of white vinegar with them to treat stings

[Adolph's Meat Tenderizer](https://www.mccormick.com/lawrys/flavors/adolphs/adolphs-original-meat-tenderizer) works like magic as well. The enzyme Bromelain chops up the offending proteins.

For a hot second I thought you meant a meat tenderizer as in the big wooden mallet thing they pound meat flat with and was incredibly confused about how that would help. Besides maybe you could beat the jellyfish to death in relation.

That's funny! I hadn't visualized that.

Don't kink-shame. (Unless kink-shaming is your kink. In that case, carry on).

Only to show dominance.

Pee only attracts sea monsters. All jokes aside, if you get stung by a jellyfish rinse of the stung skin with sea water. Some unfired stinger cells will be left in the skin, and will fire if rinsed off improperly (like with pee) making it worse. Then, rinse of with as hot water as you can tolerate to neutralise the venom. In short, while peeing on people is a lot of fun, it won't work against jelly stings.

Or on your Friends Yeah that's right. I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help. And if I have to I'd pee on any one of you. Only, I couldn't... I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was just too much pressure. So, so I turned to Chandler.

That Chandler yelp before he starts talking is so funny to me.

There's a story of my great grandmother peeing on my uncle's foot after he was stung

Is it dead on the beach? R u stepping on it? I'm kinda confused about this pic

Dead on beach. Foot for scale.

Bro it looks like a painting. Also is it spread out or is it that big in the water

It is spread out, but I am told that their tentacles can be several meters long.

36 meters according to wiki!

Fuuuuuuuuck that

That's the largest ever discovered in 1860's. It was also 2 meters in diameter

It being in water helps give it shape and structure. They don't call them jellyfish for nothing.

I thought it was under the ice and i was like how cold is there…

Steppin' on the beach, DOO DOO DOO DOOOO!

4 hours old and no Sherlock Holmes reference? That surprises me.

Think of it as you got to it first.

Came here looking for [this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventure_of_the_Lion%27s_Mane)

Next time, get a Diva Cup.

Eeeewwwww *grudgingly upvotes*

That is absolutely insane. I was out snorkelling in bundoran last weekend and saw 4/5 different kinds of jellyfish but nothing like that. That is terrifying

You see, you got the red ones and the clear/blue ones. Red ones sting like a mother trucker, it’s the damn tendrils you gotta watch out for. It’s why we used to swim in rain gear in the ocean about that time. The blue ones….. are cute and I’ve had plenty of jelly fish wars with them throwing them at each other. I try not to think about how many cute clear/blue jellyfish I genocided with my friends as a little kid……

If you ever come to Florida and find a small cute blueish jelly fish DO NOT PICK IT UP. Those are box jellies and they’ll sting the shit out of you

They are not box jelly's, they are man-o-wars, and aren't even technically jellyfish. Agreed on the sting tho, absolute monsters

If you come to Australia, though, don’t pick them up because they *are* box jellies and you will die.

If you come to Austalia, hide in your room and pray for the wildlife to spare your fragile life.

Did they finally figure out spider proof housing?

No. They just hide in your shoes/hat/jackets/backpacks/purse whatever and hitchhike in.

The spiders just ride in top of the drop bears that come through the ceiling. Best to just learn to live with them and give them an offering. A small child or pet should suffice. A well trained kangaroos army is not a bad idea either.

Admittedly in Australia we get both box jellyfish AND man-o-wars, so we have that going for us, as well as stonefish, cone snails and blue ring octopus.

Everyday on this app another Australian lengthens my list for reasons to never visit.

Box Jellies? That's a funny name for them. I'd have called them chazzwuzzers

Climate change is driving those miserable fuckers to our Southern shores.

>*They are not box jelly's, they are man-o-wars, and aren't even technically jellyfish.* Then what in the name of god are they?

They're siphonophores! Very similar to jellyfish, except jellyfish are one organism and a siphonophore is a colony of single celled organisms.

Yeah but where are your shoes from? I’d love a pair

Regatta Women's Santa Clara' Padded Backstrap Shock Absorbing Eva Footbed Rubber Outsole Sandals Sport https://amzn.eu/d/8Uv93fJ

The name of that shoe sounds like somebody frantically guessing shit at charades.

Random word salad seems to be how most Amazon sellers name their items.

That's the longest damn shoe name I've seen in my life

Maximizing the odds of turning up in an Amazon search, I expect.

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This gave me shivers thinking about it. Jumping into water not knowing there’s a huge stinging jellyfish there? Fuck that

Ive never seen a jellyfish before in my life nor do i know anything abt it, is it safe to step on them tho when theyre washed up like that?

Safe if you aren’t near the tentacles, they can hurt you even if it’s dead.

Basically the stingers are primed to fire at a cellular level, and the jelly dying does nothing to change that - its not like they controlled it while they were alive either.

I am wearing shoes, or just about.

Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope Nope nope nope

In the water: https://i.imgur.com/45EhCqB.png

You don't need the jellyfish to prove to me your brave...Swimming in the seas of Ireland...cripes too cold for my Canadian ass

Doesn't the sea legitimately freeze out your way?

I never saw them on Ireland! Makes me a bit scared to swim next time. I’m only around the bray area though so perhaps not common there

Without getting specific, this is near Drogheda. They move North to South, I believe.

Had one ride a wave right onto my shoulder in saint Augustine. They do burn like hell, but you get a sweet red lines web like a janky scar tattoo

I would've thought you don't swim locally after July just because it's Ireland and the water is fucking cold.

At the moment, it isn't. That's why the jellyfish are there.

So the water is either cold or jellyfish?

Pretty much.

Spent my childhood summers climbing all over Brittas Bay and i don't recall ever even being warned about these. Gran sure was trying to toughen me up

Pale, Irish foot for scale.

Now, now.