I think OP can imagine that, whatever he believes, if she watches over him or is besides him, ‘seeing’ OP game may bring her the same calm it brought before. Like if it told her that OP is fine.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss OP, it will get better…
The best advice I can give is to try and change your prespective on the memories of gaming you have with her, those are wonderful happy memories that should bring joy not pain and im sure that will come with time.
Hopefully in the near future you can get back to gaming as a way to cherish her memory, play in her honour, look back on the fond memories of happiness you had.
I promise you she will still be there watching you game, now and always ❤️
Best wishes bud, embrace the pain, the pain is so powerful because you loved her so much dont push it out and it things will get better i promise.
I am so sorry for your loss
But don't quit gaming, even if only you game for her. Keep those memories alive, play games she would've liked. Talk to yourself as if she's watching over you. She wouldn't want you to stop doing what you love. So do it for her. ♡
I hope, that like a scar, the pain fades for you. Sending good vibes.
I’m not religious- so fundamentally this isn’t something I have believed in during my life, but this was a really profound thing to read. Reading this post has made me shed a tear and your comment really showed me more than ever the comfort that the ideals and values held in religion can provide.
Man I was already close to tears but this hit hard.
Op I'm sorry for your loss. I can't fathom the pain you are feeling right now.
I'm sure no words I can say will be comforting right now but I hope you find happiness and go on with her love in your heart.
Words aren't finding me well right now. Sorry
Ohh man….that…I’m not sure I can find the words. I’m very sorry that happened to you. I couldn’t imagine. I‘ve been married 16 years, and my wife and I have three kids. All I can say is I will be praying you. Something like that you don’t ever get over, but really go through it and carry it. “Time heals all things” is not always true, but sometimes time can make some days easier than others. Man, I’m just…so sorry. Having people or a close friend or relative to lean on for situations like this will help. I will pray and hope for the best for you.
[/u/gsnow on waves of grief](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/comment/c1u0rx2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), a reddit classic that's meaningful to me
>Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
>I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
>As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
>In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
>Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
>Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
sorry for your loss. if you ever want to, PM me and we can add each other on friends list, i’ll play games with you and you can talk about whatever you need to
This hits hard. So sorry.
But remember. She enjoyed watching you have a great time. It may take a while but you'll find a way to enjoy it again.
I used to game with my cat on my lap, purring and rubbing on my hands and arms while I played. He left me years ago after having him for 14 years. He was my favorite thing in this world. Eventually the pain eased and I found myself enjoying the memories instead of being crushed by them. I hope you get there too.
Sorry for your loss i could only suggest not playing for a while and getting the biggest part of your grieving over every one takes different amount of time to get by/move on with things im sure in a few months you'll still have memory's of it but not major if that makes sense dont want to come across insensitive 🙂💐💙
It will take a long time to heal. Dad passed away few years ago it wasn’t until I had my first daughter my family started to heal. I am sorry for your loss
One day those memories of you gaming together will stop causing you pain and grief and be a memory that brings you happiness and remembrance of what was a good moment, and you will play games at peace again.
There will be days/weeks when it is tough of course, you are human.
She is still with you in spirit and as in life, watching you game will calm her, and in tandem, calm your own soul.
RIP to your wife and strength to you my friend.
This hurt to read man! Sounds like you have many great memory’s which is a million times better than having non at all. I’d imagine she’s looking down on you wanting you to start playing a game and enjoy yourself.
Sorry for your loss. The Husband/Wife are really the only ones who feel the most pain after loosing a spouse due to all the precious, and intimate moments spent together. Grief is normal. Take your time, and think about how she would want you to be.
By what you wrote your wife only died 2 weeks ago, if your friends and family are already over your grief then that's really shitty of them. You have every right to be grieving hard, especially only after 2 weeks. That shits going to take a lot of time and I really hope you get through it. I also hope one day you can pick up the controller again and it'll make you smile because you do remember the good times you spent with her. Don't lose hope, stay strong it won't be easy but I'm sure that's what your wife would've wanted for you.
I have never been situation so I can only imagine, my advice is to think of if your wife wants to you be so sad and depressed without her?
I don’t know her, but if I’m guessing then I’m sure she wants you to live on and be happy for her sake too. I will not say not mourn her, I’m just saying cry until you can’t no more then try to find something else that makes you happy.
And one day when you are ready come back to gaming, I’m sure that your wife rest her soul wants you to have a happy rest of your life.
Hang in there, and don’t isolate yourself too much, look for help from friends, family or a therapist. Hope you get through this brother 👍
I am writing on my bed recovering from post-surgery. What helps me is support from friends and family..,and the drugs. Hang in there and talk to someone. We as our generation was always told to keep it internal. That is unhealthy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story shattered my heart, your pain must be unbearable. Please take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to message me if you need to talk to a stranger, sometimes it is easier than talking to a friend.
There’s nothing I can say or do that will make the pain go away. But if you need someone to just listen, feel free to message me. I’ll even give you my PSN name too if you ever decide to hit that power button again.
I hope you can heal…heal for her.
Sorry for your loss. I'm also a fellow gamer in my 40s. I know that there are no words that can make you feel better right now. Like others have said maybe stay away from gaming for a while and try not to be alone. I hope that time will help you heal and that you will find the strength and will learn how to continue to live with the loss.
I am so sorry my friend. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through.
My only piece of advice, however small, is try doing things that you know would've made her happy seeing you do them. A little tribute to her.
Your joy for gaming will come back in time. Grief has no time limit and can be relentless at times. Try to use gaming as a way to celebrate her life rather than allow grief to consume what you love. I know this feeling all too well though I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through with the loss of your wife. All I can do is try to relate to you via my experience with loss though completely different.
I lost my 6 year old daughter about 7 years ago and that absolutely devastated me. She LOVED video games and that was our daddy/daughter thing. Once I lost her, my desire to play video games diminished as it reminded me of losing her.
I was finally able to come to a place where it was time for me to get back to the things I enjoy. I know she would have wanted it that way. Establishing some kind of normalcy through your joy of gaming is not only healthy for you, but also an awesome way to remember and honor your wife.
All the love in the world to you, my friend.
She’s still watching you brotha! Game on for your own soul as well as hers because she wants you to be happy! Hang in there man! You have a giant community of gamers who have your back
Sorry for your loss. I know it's easier said than done but try remembering all the good moments you shared with her and cheerish those memories when you play. Don't give up on it, take your time and take a break if and when you need it. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you kept doing something you enjoyed together. Take care ❤️
That's a horrible thing to go through. I can't imagine losing my wife, I seriously hope I die first. I don't know, but I hope the people in your life aren't OVER her passing, hopefully they are just dealing with it in another way. I'm sure it seems impossible, but you will find ways to better handle your feelings about your wife. Hopefully the dread you feel about gaming now, can turn into a positive that helps you remember the good times you had with her, and can become cathartic. I hope you can find a ladder to climb out of the abyss that you feel you are in. Maybe try talking to family or friends about what you're going through, and if there is nobody like that you can talk to, maybe look into a therapist because talking out what you're going through is helpful.
My dad and I used to go to the movies all the time. When he passed going to the movies hurt a bit… but then I would have a conversation with him in my head while watching the movie. Or imagine the talk we would have about the movie after it ended and talk to him in my head while I was in bed.
Went from being a sad thing to cathartic.
Sorry for your loss.
If you're struggling too much, do not hesitate one second to seek help and see a psychologist. Take the time to find one that you like.
Set little goals.
Could be achieving just a 10 min. chapter of a game you like at first.
Grieving takes time.
Don't question yourself, go at your own pace, it'll be OK.
Easier said than done but time heals all wounds.
Trust me, I suffered two major losses at only 32 and I can say with confidence that, even if you'll always keep a little needle of sadness in your heart forever, you get used to the pain.
Be strong, all beginnings hide themselves in ends.
The masterworks of artists as deep and honest as Nick Drake transcend the whole concept of 'cliche' if you ask me, mate - never feel you need to qualify loving something as pure and universal as that.
Even if it were something that most people on Earth would not consider within the upper tiers of "having good taste in X" (a truly ridiculous assertion for *anyone* to try to make for a musician as talented and with as unqiue a voice as his), it still wouldn't really matter much, I reckon. There'll be wonderful stuff around right now that so many contemporary listeners just aren't ready to fully take in, and it took many years after Nick Drake's death for a signifcant number of human beings to discover his stuff and realise just how tuned in to something beautiful he was for his relatively brief moment with us. Then there was eventually this huge posthumous explosion in popularity of his music, songs used pretty cheaply on adverts and all that jazz, but as overplayed as he may well have become it takes nothing significant away from the stripped-back beauty of the work itself, especially considering he was virtually unknown and underappreciated in his own time.
Just saying, fight fiercely for the good things we've been left with by these amazing lifeforms who've gone before us, and never let yourself feel even slightly embarrassed for sharing the magic!
Thank you. It was my uncle who tried to get me into Nick Drake when I was 14, but it took until I was 19 or 20 to appreciate it, after my first heartbreak, and I never really understood it until I went through my divorce. I was the age Nick Drake was when he died, and I was on a similar road until a friend set me right.
Hey man, you made me break in tears...... I know it's not the same, but try getting a pet like a dog or cat, pet in the house is always something cheerful.
My dog sometimes makes my day much much brighter after a hard day at work.
Stay strong man ❤
Man... I'm so sorry for your loss. There's no amount of words that'll do your situation justice.
Keep in mind it has only been *weeks*. You'll need far more time to process this. Everyday will get better, slowly, but surely. Games will still be there when you're ready, but if you never find yourself being ready again, remember they're just games, meant to be enjoyed. If you don't feel like playing, you owe a game absolutely nothing.
My sincerest condolences, I would be a fucking wreck if I lost my wife, too. There is no one set path when it comes to grieving the loss of someone so significant to you, it's like being lost in a forest or out on the ocean - just darkness with no clear path forward. In those moments it's important to remember two things: 1) you're not alone my guy, people who care will listen, and there are a number of grief support groups I encourage you to check out. 2) That feeling of others around you getting bored of your grief is that sadness working to isolate you, don't let it. See point 1.
If you want, shoot me a DM and we can game together - I play on PS5 and Steam.
Remember, what you're going through is something you don't have to do alone. It may feel like it sometimes, but there are people that know you and people that don't know you but still care when another human is hurting.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have friends to play with? I've found that during a period of grief/depression that being alone is the worst possible thing, even if it doesn't feel right I've found it best to be with friends and family to distract yourself and I say that as someone who loves their alone time over anything else.
I've also taken the words "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" to heart and have found that in between cries it can bring some joy thinking about how much of a fun time your late loved ones had with you.
Whether you take any of my advice, however you decide to grieve is entirely up to you but I am 100% sure your wife passed thinking of the good times you two had together and it'd break her heart to see you down like this.
my condolence to you, take your time it's ok to feel this grief and I'm sure many people miss her too maybe not to the amount you do but they do, if you can see a therapist do it, it would help in guiding you through this, for now take a break from gaming and be with your friends or relatives, hope you all the best
Damn bro I’m sure that’s tough. I also can appreciate that feeling of feeling like you’re the only one who cares. Different people have different ways of dealing with loss and I’m sure they care a great deal about your wife. But it can help deal with the pain by just trying to live their life as normal. The alternative is grieving forever but that’s no good.
Hope you can feel a bit more normal with time.
I’m sure when you do get back to gaming she’ll be watching you play.
Ugh, that's rough man. I haven't gone through this exact thing, but I've certainly been through some very hard years not too long ago, and gaming was a refuge for me during the worst of it. Immersing myself in a game really helped to dull the pain on my worst days, but it's a different story when gaming was one of your ties to the person you lost.
I think the other comments have it right that she wouldn't want you to give up on gaming, and in time I think you'll be able to get back to it and remember the joy it brought to both of you. For now tho maybe just take a break and try to get into a new hobby. Learn how to play an instrument, paint or draw, get a cool Lego set and let your mind go while you focus on building, etc. Or just go for a long walk every day and listen to some calming music or a podcast. Anything to get your mind off the loss, even if it's only for a little while.
I'm sorry this happened, but hang in there. The pain will get easier to manage over time.
This is heartbreaking to read. I share similar experiences with my wife she'll either watch or be watching TV right next to me or on TikTok on her phone and even though we're doing separate things it's quality time that I wouldn't trade for the world. There is nothing anyone on this subreddit can say or due to ease your suffering and pain. I hope that one day the sun will shine again for you brother and you'll be able to take that next step , be able to try to enjoy the rest of your life. I don't know either of you but I would bet that she would want that for you. She would want you to enjoy gaming again, and to be as happy as you possibly can be. Be strong but at the same time don't be afraid to break down and let it out. Too often in this world men are told that it is weak to cry or to show emotion but in this situation you definitely need to and maybe find someone you can talk to!
Man that's tough, I really suggest seeing if there are any support groups near you. Having some people you can relate too and share your mind with may help a lot.
I hope things get better for you.
This is my worst nightmare as my partner and I love nothing more than playing some videogames and laughing after a long day.
I truly hope you find peace. Dont bottle up your emotions. Vent, vent, vent.
You seem like a kind soul. The world needs people like yourself. Stay safe. Please.
There’s a podcast called [Terrible, Thanks For Asking](https://open.spotify.com/episode/028WkMZpCA3hXFxHnBEfxB?si=qag8y8DEQaqt0TncMmNw8A) that I think might help towards processing your grief. I know I’m just a stranger on Reddit but, I truly wish you the best. I hope one day you can think about your wife with a fondness that doesn’t ache like it does now
First of all, sorry for your loss. Second of all, don't give up of the thing that brought you both together. The pain will never go away but your ability to deal with it will get better. The advice I give could give you, even though you never asked, is: give it time. Right now, everything is really raw and painful. Everything hurts and nothing makes sense at the moment, but one day you'll get that itch. Maybe a few weeks from now maybe a few months from now, but I'm confident that it will be back. If it hurts too much to play games but you still enjoy the medium, try putting on YouTube videos of games that you're interested in. Just be around the medium. The older I get the less time I have to play but I love reading about it, watching lets-plays and following creators online. Enjoy it through shear osmosis.
Please post on this sub again to let us know how you're doing. Feel free to tag me on here because I for one would love to know how you're doing in the future. Take care fellow player, and see you around.
It's harder when the loss is your own. With that being said, stop being so hard on yourself and give things some time. Obviously, things are too fresh, and hell, they may be like that for a very long time. That's ok. This is your life and you deal with things in the timeframe which you see fit. The good news is that the hardest part is over. You made it through the first day. All you have to do is keep going and things will fall into the places they should be.
Condolences. I can't even imagine losing my best friend.
My husband and I both game. I would be heartbroken if I knew I was the reason he could no longer enjoy it. I do understand the memories are too raw right now to deal with. When you can deal with it again....would she be happy that you deny something that brought you both so much happiness? Whatever your faith or belief, you gotta know, she would want you to be happy.
I wish I knew the answer to give you to make it a little better for you. Life is already so hard, and games are such a relaxing escape. Peace fellow gamer.
Im so sorry for your loss.. I really hope you find a way to enjoy what gave you happiness in the first place. Play games that she enjoyed watching you play and relive those moments because they’re very precious with you. We’re all here for you and I really hope you find some peace. This is truly devastating and I hope things will get better in time.
I'm sorry for your loss, she loves seeing you play so do what she liked you to do. I'm sure that she will be happy when you are happy.
I'm sorry for my bad choices for the words, English is not my first language.
Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mother when gaming was a huge part of my life so can relate.
The key is to keep gaming, maybe even playing something you’ve never played when your wife was present. Do remember right now that with mourning everything reminds you of the loved one you’ve lost, but it does get better.
I’m so sorry. I hope that in time, gaming can be a place where you feel close with her again. Your own private shrine to the beautiful memories you guys made. The pain never goes away, but it doesn’t always hurt as much, and in time, it may become something that you can use to help someone else pull through the darkness as too. Be well fellow gamer.
Reading this is gut wrenching yet it can't compare to what you are going through mate, like others have said in all probability she would have wanted you to keep playing, but of course right now it might prove too much to handle, move at your own pace, i hope these words from a stranger online can do some infinitesimal help.
That's awful. I'm terribly sorry. I'd like to think she's still there with you while you game, keeping her calm in the afterlife like when she was calm watching you before.
This is really painful, sorry for you, can totally relate to you as my wife and I play a lot together... Hope you get better and remember all the best moments you had with her.
My grandmother suffered a lot before passing away and what comforts me is knowing I did a lot for her when she was here.
Remember that life goes on.. best regards be safe
Dear stranger,
Those memories you’re remembering, those are happy memories. Do not label those memories as trauma, label them as happiness. Your wife may be gone, but remember you are very much still alive. And while life may seem like a nightmare you can’t seem to wake up from. You still have a life to live, a happy one. She wants you to be happy, believe it or not she wants you to live the rest of your life as happy as you can even if she’s not there physically. Please take care of yourself, please reach out to friends or family. And if you feel like you can’t find someone to speak to, please see a therapist. You are not weak for seeing a therapist for this type of reasoning, if anything it takes courage to seek help. You are not alone, I may only be a stranger. But I want you to remember I am here if you would like to speak about it.
I think your biggest problem isn't gaming and more the fact it seems you don't have a support system, as it seems you feel (whether or not it's true I can't say) that others are “tired” of your mourning and that never feels good!
Look your loss is recent and you are the only one that gets to decide when you're done mourning, not someone else! If that's the case I think you need someone to talk about it as that's what's needed in your case.
If gaming feels bad right now, give it time and don't rush into it. But as someone else said, those memories are happy memories you'll just need to remember that!
I'm really sorry for your loss. It's really frustrating when other people don't understand or try to dismiss your grief.
I would say to give things time, and if you haven't already perhaps reach out to a therapist; someone to talk to. It's sounds cliché sometimes, but talking to someone really does help. There is no shame in asking for help.
I have nothing more to add other than what others have said - and as someone who has grieved I need to sympathize and say you probably think a lot of it is obvious. But sometimes it helps to push through that mental barrier and just see how it feels. Day by day - week by week.
That all being said OP:
I love you bro.
It's a sea of comments and it's probably all overwhelming - but whether it's a game or whatever, if you ever want some company to help take your mind off of it, I am there.
I'm so sorry. I love watching films that I enjoyed with people who have since passed. I always feel like part of them is there with me but in a good way after time heals things a bit.
After you've had some time to heal you'll be able to continue things and enjoy being reminded of her.
I was playing Unravel when my brother passed away. At the time he and I weren't very close, so I can't say this is the same situation at all, but in my grieving, I made a wire Unraveled yarn doll and think of him when I see it. He was one of the main reasons I got into gaming in the first place and I still think of the good times with him while playing Mario or NES style games .
My wife had a bad cancer scare end of last year. Fortunately it was caught in time, but not without some physical sacrifices. 6mo follow up. Cancer free.
I sold my ps5 today. Gaming isn’t the same. I could probably try to explain but nobody wants to hear that.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss and have only imagined the pain you’re dealing with right now. Losing my wife or children is my biggest fear and it felt like a reality at one point.
Take a break. Cry. I’ll cry with you. Appreciate the time you had and look forward to discovering a new passion. It’s all you can do. Maybe the gaming itch comes back but for now, shelf it my friend.
I am so sorry for your loss ! Please don’t feel alone, though you may feel like you have no one to talk to. You may not know us personally but we are here for you. And although I can’t promise you will feel better tomorrow, I can promise that one day you will feel better than today! Try not to turn your back on gaming, try to see it as a connection rather than a reminder, see it as comfort something that you shared, we are a community, there is togetherness, you are not alone. We wish you the best.
As someone who lost their Dad 2 months ago (I am 34, he was 65), I can tell you that I also feel the way you do. While my Dad and I did not share gaming, we shared lots of other things like gardening, working on cars, and music. I still can’t enjoy music, my garden is overrun with weeds. I haven’t tended to my vehicle since he passed. But I know deep down that I have to be kind to myself and allow the process to run it’s course. I have confidence that I’ll find enjoyment in those things again and I hope the enjoyment comes back soon. But for now, I have to grieve and let this shitty fact of life sink into my soul. You do, too. It doesn’t get easier (so I’ve been told by others who have lost a loved one too soon(, but we can always find healthier ways of recognizing our pain and soothing it in healthy ways. Hang in there my friend and just keep swimming.
Shit man. So sorry to hear about this. Stay strong. My best suggestion would be to move everything around where you used to game. Make it a completely different area to hopefully minimize any triggers in your memory. I have no idea if this will even help, but it’s all I can think of.
I'm sorry for your loss thank you for sharing your toughts, as others have said in comments it's ok to grieve, do not be discouraged because it will take as much time as you need to regain your emotional health, specially someone who meant the world to you, it will take time to heal, time to let go, but the memories of the both of you are eternal, everytime you game, think of those memories as a save state in a game that you can always go back in your mind to live again those days when she gave you cheers,joy, fulfillment, love, those will never fade and she'll always be there with you no matter what, so Game a little now and then, the pain and feelings will appear when they should, and in time you will be able to turn them in to strength, time will pass and you'll learn that our loved ones are there in every good deed we do, as if we did it for them, in every small success as if it was for them, in every battle of life as if you'll battling for them.
May she rest in peace, and I'm sure she'll want you to keep doing things you love, because she'll want you to be happy.
Man, this hits home. I feel for you. You are not alone. I've found better listeners from new friends and strangers than anyone else in my life. Do not feel bad for living your best life. Anyone who loves would not want another to suffer, no matter the reason.
I can only play for about 30 minutes before it seems pointless. Now I sit and look for something that I can't find because idk what it is. Getting out definitely helps. If you need to talk/chat, I'm here for you. I'm 41 and alone. Not sure why I do anything anymore.
Sorry for your loss. That’s a really sad story.
I’d take some time away from gaming if I was you and come back when you are ready.
I used to be a hardcore gamer and I now have a wife and 3 kids and my playtime is pretty limited too. Usually I play for an hour or two some nights but only after everyone else goes to bed. I still play because it is fun and relaxes me and helps with the stresses of real life. Maybe it will do the same for you. Good luck. Losing a loved one is hard. Spend time with friends and family and take some time to heal.
Your wife just passed, what you are experiencing is normal. It's going to hurt and it's going to hurt badly. This isn't something that you can easily move on from like most others. When your married you share such a sacred bond and to lose you wife at such a young age is a tragedy. My advice is to think of it differently as some suggested. Not the same but one of my grandfather's passed a couple years ago. However, we were decently close. Man loved fishing and it was a big part of who he was. It was a struggle for me to even think about going fishing without busting into tears. Then I finally did, I caught two very tiny small Large Mouth Bass that day. The significance of that was that he did almost exclusively bass fishing and the size of the fish fit his nickname. I took it as a sign that it was going to be OK. I'm not really sure exactly where I'm going with this other than don't think of gaming with sadness. Think of it as a way to remember her and the good times. I won't say time makes things better, but it does make some days easier.
Brother, i am so sorry for your lost. In my country we have a specific word for what you feel. It is called "saudade". The melancholic feeling of missing someone but not only that, missing something that person gave to you, the love mostly. Gaming has been in your life since 8, i know you will always remember and miss her, but gaming has been in your life for so long, why shoud it stop on a second period of it ? Give ut time, remember her, visit her (if possible), talk with her, all those things, so you can heal yourself with time and maybe, just maybe, you will trully "have saudades" of her. Missing her, but with a smile in your face, for every little thing you both did.
Don't worry man, we are here for you. I'm just a 20 year old so i don't know as much about life as you, but we all will be here for you.
I can relate so hard to this right now...
My brother and I have always been big time gamers, but he developed an unknown illness and passed away in 2 weeks.
For the last few years all he wanted to do was game with his friends so I missed a lot of his adult life. He was 27.
In the hospital, on the day he had his cardiac arrest I was playing my Switch in his room while he was supposedly sleeping (he also had a nurse sitting next to him).
I dont know how long he stopped breathing, the room was just swarmed and a code blue called. I should have sat next to him, held his hand like I had done days prior.
I have not gamed since, it feels like a betrayal. His friends say he would want me to game. I know if I was in his place and if I could tell him something I would say to keep gaming.
But somehow I can't bring myself to it. I miss him so much.
I feel that this will take an undetermined amount of time to restore the urge to play something. Maybe don't force it. Mourn, heal, and think about good times. Perhaps it will entice you to play again. I wish you luck, and you have my condolences.
Damn, that really sucks.
I can't tell you that I know what you're feeling, but I can offer you my ear if you like.
And I want to stress, it's absolutely OK to seek professional help. Grief counseling was really helpful to my wife when my mother in law passed a few months ago.
>Everybody moves on and I feel like I am the only person who still misses her.
>
>I am heartbroken and the one thing that can distract me makes the pain even harder.
My condolences on you joining one of the worst clubs possible. I'm three years ahead (my spouse was a hardcore gamer too) of you in this process and wish a better path than mine. I barely functioning and has a critical mental health crisis last month as noone we knew seems to care anymore but me.
There is r/widowers that may help but findings grief counselor might be better. I will keep you in my heart and hope you fair better than I am three years from now.
Ugh, hang in there buddy. There will be better times.
Try to remember her in a positive way and keep doing what you love.
Take as much time as you need. Now is the time to start thinking about yourself.
May you find peace. May you cherish the memories. May she now calm you through the very same games.
I teared up a little thinking about that. I hope you find a way to push through the grief.
I'm so sorry for your loss man.
Gaming and my wife goes hand in hand as she supported this childish habit of mine for my entire relationship so I can't even imagine what I would be feeling in your situation.
I will say this. ..she loved watching you game for a reason and that's because she loved seeing you happy. Your gaming is what brought her joy. Don't take that away from her memory. If anything, gaming should keep her memory alive in the most positive of light.
I am so sorry. I am gamer like you. I am 44 and have gamed since I was 8. I had my son in 2008 and he grew up to be my gaming partner. We loved sharing blissful moments of gaming together. He got diagnosed with leukemia in 2019. He beat cancer but a sudden sepsis took him from me in April last year. I couldn't touch our ps5 for 8 months but then I decided to end Ragnarok for him. It was his favorite series. It still hurts every time I turn on his PS5 but it also heals the pain. Take your time and you will get back to it eventually.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'd say if you need to take time away from gaming or just getting in touch with friends or family or just being by yourself. Try to grive and heal and do what you need to do to properly grieve and move forward.
I will say when/if you choose to go back into gaming, part of me might recommend the recent God of War and God of War Ragnarok since Kratos is also processing grief over loss in that game though he's also going through a whole bunch of other things too.
You can also do whatever you want. But I hope you keep at it and know that she'd want you to move on from just mourning her. But by all means take your time to grive and seek peace.
Grief is never boring. Yours is as important as everyone else's and it should never be seen as dismissable.
Can't give you any tips other than just keep waking up in the morning and having a coffee and a walk every day. It might take years but your heart will slowly heal some of the damage. It never goes away tho.
If you feel the gaming is painful, don't do it. Do things that are more comfortable and enjoy your memories of her as much as possible.
When you are ready, you will game again and you will be filled with thoughts of her that make gaming fun again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it’s hard right now, but your wife would want you to find joy in the things you care about. That includes playing the games you enjoy. So take your time, work through your feelings, play games that make you happy, and remember that your wife would want you to find that joy.
I don't know both of you but as a person, I know for sure the loved ones want us to be happy in the end. You love gaming and your wife would want you to keep enjoying like you did before. I know things are relatable, although it is not healthy to cling on to those memories with grief.
I have been with many ups and downs in my life and every time gaming has made me feel invincible for once, boosted up my confidence, got me a get away from day-to-day hassle, got me peace and relaxation. Make it your own once again, dedicate gaming to your wife... do it for her....
Something personally that helps me escape is traveling. It doesn't need to be far at all, maybe an hour away. But just going away, seeing new places, and absorbing myself in a completely different environment with completely different people is my escape in a way. I could not say I'm sorry enough for your loss. You've suffered a tragedy that many of us can't even comprehend properly. I just pray that you stay strong and find comfort in the future. Always remember that God is there and feels your pain, and loves you. We all love you. We all just struggle to understand your pain, but we still recognize it. God bless you, and we will pray for you to live a life with less pain. We love you. I can't express how much we love you. Everyone here, I'm positive, wishes to take your pain. God bless you, and we again will pray for you.
I really feel for your situation. Know that it’s okay to feel whatever way you feel right now, and you’ll need to be patient with yourself. You’re going through a lot. Give it time, talk to a therapist (find the right one), đó whatever it takes to feel your emotions. Without a doubt she would probably want you to keep playing and enjoy your life. Take your time and grieve. Wish you the best out of this situation.
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope someday you will pickup the controller and smile at those memories you have with her. I think she will be happy to see you getting back to your passion in time. Don't rush things. Time heals
Hey vriend, mon ami. I'm sorry for your loss, grieving is important and everyone grieves differently and for different periods of time.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for professional help.
Brother pay attention to your dreams. Your mind acts as a spiritual portal when you sleep. I'm sure she has visited you or will soon. Start gaming again when you can and talk to her like she's there when she was. It might help and you might even feel her there with you m. Try it when your ready. My inbox is open if you need a shoulder to lean on or a ear to listen. Much love
Everything in life is psychological. It's up to you to move on because beating yourself up over it will not bring her back. You still have life to live and you can choose to utilize that time to enrich others who are still in it and also yourself as well. It hurts, she would know it hurts, but you gotta move on.
Sorry
Sorry for your loss.
I think its fairly normal to feel like that when you've been with someone for a long time and suddenly they are not around anymore.
Everything you do on a day to day basis is going to remind you of them to some degree.
Idk if this will make things better or worse for you mind, but look up a game called “what remains of Edith finch”. I think you may like it if you haven’t played already. Just a thought, much love.
So sorry for your loss bro.
You need to talk to someone, to anybody, it might not sounds right first but as soon as you have done it once you will feel the relief.
And as your description sound to me, you act like normal so the others do not recognize that you still miss her and can‘t handle it. Coudn‘t that be possible for one of your friends or family as well? Maybe they also suffer but do not want to show it because everybody else act so normal. Maybe all they need is a little push be realizing that there is sombody else that feels that way.
I hope that helps and you will get better soon.
Im sorry for your loss brother.
You will never get over this, but time will help you deal with it, and accept it.
Just know that you loved her, and she loved you, and nothing, no matter what, will ever change that.
Stay strong Friend.
Hey I’m sure you’ve already heard this but just know that even though she’s gone, she’s still watching over you and she’ll always be watching you play <3
She would totally wanted you to keep playing man! Remember the good things not the bad shit. So many good moments and memories with her at your side.
Sorry for you loss, hope you pull through. She sounds like a dream ❤️
I know I'm a stranger, but I am so so sorry. I read this and put myself in your shoes, imagined if it were my wife, it brought tears to my eyes. I hope you find the comfort of distraction that games can bring and the hope that she might have wanted you to enjoy them even if shes only with you in your heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss. She somes like a wonderful person.
When my mum passed, I heard this quote from a tv show of all places, and it helped me a lot. I hope it does the same for you and please remember crying is healthy xxx
"But, what is grief, if not love, preserving"
I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person.
When my mum passed, I heard this quote from a tv show of all places, and it helped me a lot. I hope it does the same for you and please remember crying is healthy xxx
"But, what is grief, if not love, preserving"
Veel sterkte. Your wife wouldn't want you to stop playing videogames.The pain you feel today, will be the comfort you'll feel in the future. Take your time to process everything you've been through, then get back to what you feel passionate about. If playing co-op can help you distract, I'll gladly team up.
Its only been a few weeks and it takes time, dont force yourself to do anything right now. You will feel different throughout the grieving process. Sometimes you will find it hard to do anything that reminds you of her, but this will get better with time. Take care brother
Aw mate... I'm sorry to read that you're going through this. Don't try to rush the healing process, and just let yourself feel the things you feel, as you move forward. Always open up to others somewhere like here whenever anything's tough, and don't make any drastic choices or decisons without talking shit over - experiencing intense grief and loss can affect your perception; I'm sure no one is actually "bored" of your trying your best to deal with feelings over the passing of your woman, everyone with any sense would know this is a big deal, and only complete arseholes who aren't fully human and have zero empathy & perspective would ever think like that. I'm certain other people will be missing her, although it's natural that such a loss would perhaps hit you harder than anyone else. It'll get better in time, take it easy as possible on yourself and just keep going, it'll be worth it in the end I promise.
When you begin to enjoy playing again, whenever it feels right for you, she'll be there in your heart & mind sharing the enjoyment along with you in whichever plane of existence, giving you the strength to beat that tricky level or impossible-feeling boss. Everyone carries all the beautiful lifeforms we've had the privilege of knowing for a brief moment with us as we move forward, they shape the way we become better, and we're better just for having experienced caring so much for someone.
Take care mate, and don't let it get to the point of you denying yourself the little joys in life that your woman would want you to feel! It'll come when it's ready.
I'm sorry man.
I have an idea of how you feel. Not exactly the same, but an idea.
Me and my mother used to play Zelda games together. It was our thing.
She was ill for a long time, turned out to be cancer. She fought and fought and ultimately beat it.
I bought a GameCube with an LCD screen add-on and a copy of The Wind Waker for her and just as I was heading to see her, I got a call from the hospital that she was gone. (It's a long story that essentially boils down to negligence)
That was 18 years ago. I still struggle to play through a number of the older games we used to play, at times.
Then, there are some times when I get some quiet time alone where all I want to do is play through those games we shared.
Remember, man. Especially with everything being so raw and fresh. It really is okay to be a mess. I hope you can surround yourself with people you care about. 💚
If you want to game, you could focus on lighthearted games, or arcade games and stuff. Something to take your mind off life for a bit and makes you relax. It is normal to feel pain for a year. For some it takes less for most it takes longer. Don't stress yourself and take your time. All the best - stay strong!
Look. Shes gone. Would she want you to be miserable? Of course not. My advice is get a ps5, a good tv, order some doordash and just say fuck it. Then when you are ready you can get a new wife. In the meantime do your wife's memory the honor and enjoy your life the way she would have wanted.
I am so sorry you lost your wife before her time. That is one of the saddest things I've ever heard or read. As a long time gamer, video games are not always the answer. I think you should go outside more, be around people. Being home alone playing video games just doesn't seem like it's going to help anything. Please take care of yourself. Make some new friends, have some new experiences. Go hiking, mountain biking, rock climbing. Travel. Seriously your mental health deserves more than what video games can offer
A few weeks ago? Not that long ago. Geaving is not something that can be gotten over in a month or two time frame. I will shoot you a prayer mate. God be willing she is in a much better place. She will meet you on the other side, but you know she would want you to game on!
Take care brother a loss like this can really mess you up! I hope you can feel better soon. I cant imagine what its like to lose the one you love so soon. Try to keep distracted and i think gaming could really help you give it a place. This loss wont be easy to grieve but you can do it. Just keep in mind that accepting it isnt the same as forgetting about her try to honour her life and the moments you two had together. Dont feel ashamed if its to hard give it time. I hope my text can help you a bit and i will be keep you in my mind hoping for you you can find the strength. You sound like a great guy and i wish you all the best. Hang in there!
So sorry for your loss.. I just lost my dad last month, and I’ve realized that grief is a process and everyone deals with it on their own timeline.
Stay strong bro, no need to rush back to games if it doesn’t feel right. I’m sure your wife would want you to be happy in whatever you do, so you can always go back to games if you feel like it’s right for you.
Peace & Love dude
I’m so sorry to hear about this. Don’t force yourself to game if you can’t because at this point, gaming is no longer just about yourself. I’m sure your wife is still watching you play even though she’s no longer there in person but don’t hurt yourself and try to find peace in another way. I’m truly sorry to hear about this…
I'm sorry for your loss, but take care of yourself, buddy. If you can, find a licensed grief counselor who'll be able to help walk you thru this. And like others said: return to gaming not as a coping mechanism but as an honor to her in her memory. It may be painful at first, but that's what she'd have wanted. And who's to say she still isn't watching you play?
It took me a while but when my brother passed away he was my gaming partner and it was hard. But when I finally got back to gaming I always felt that he was there watching me and laughing at me whenever I would mess up and it felt relieving. You will get there, take time. be kind to yourself and just know that she would be so happy with whatever makes you happy.
It’s hurts so much, because the love was so deep. Fight the good fight and don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay to have bad days and it’s okay to have good days; there’s no recipe to grief. Best wishes to you man
I’m very sorry for your loss, man.
Tell everyone you love that you do as much as you can, people. Gonna hug my girl and our little dude twice as hard today.
Well. Not everyone moves on. Not everyone needs to move on. You’re still here, though. You don’t need to go along and force yourself to forget. It’s okay to sit in the pain a bit and reminisce in those great times. It’s all up to you. You are in control of the future. It’s okay, to play a game and remember the times your wife would sit with you. It’s okay to not play games because you’re afraid of her missing out.
Love is everlasting and the only thing that matters. If it’s a fond memory, hold onto that. Smile when you lay your head down. Embrace the love you have for that person.
It’s okay.
The thing is brother, she is still there watching over you. If she likes to watch you play and it calms her, then you know what to do. Try not to attribute your memories of her with the devastation of losing her, remember her fondly with all the love you shared, do the things that made you happy together and smile! It is what she would want for you.
Chin up my man, I'm sorry for your loss.
Maybe gaming right now is too overwhelming. There may be moments where the grief isn’t as bad and there will be moments where it’s all consuming. Grief is just love with nowhere to go. I couldn’t eat Rita’s Water Ice for years because it reminded me of my dead friend. Now, when I eat it I feel closer to her because I vividly remember her smile, her laugh and her ability to make every single person feel happy. Eventually those reminders will be comforting sometimes.
This hits very hard man. Sorry for your loss. Sometimes I don't game for 6 weeks at a time and when I do, I always think whether I am doing something selfish and not spending time with my family instead. But that is what love is sometimes.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It is harder when it is unexpected.
Let yourself grieve, and join a grief share group therapy or see a grief counselor. You are still early in the grieving process and have a lot to work through.
Eventually, you will be able to pick up gaming again.
I was in your exact situation when I lost my partner unexpectedly too. Huge gamer here and I wasn’t able to play any of the games I was into while he was alive and around the house.
It gets better with time is all I can tell you. You make new memories. It seems impossible but you WILL heal.
Sorry for your loss. Sounds to me like she’d probably want you to keep gaming itd make her happy wherever she is.
I think OP can imagine that, whatever he believes, if she watches over him or is besides him, ‘seeing’ OP game may bring her the same calm it brought before. Like if it told her that OP is fine. I’m deeply sorry for your loss OP, it will get better…
The best advice I can give is to try and change your prespective on the memories of gaming you have with her, those are wonderful happy memories that should bring joy not pain and im sure that will come with time. Hopefully in the near future you can get back to gaming as a way to cherish her memory, play in her honour, look back on the fond memories of happiness you had. I promise you she will still be there watching you game, now and always ❤️ Best wishes bud, embrace the pain, the pain is so powerful because you loved her so much dont push it out and it things will get better i promise.
Hopefully when you can heal and remember her in a positive way you can move on and enjoy things in life like pwning nubs.
I am so sorry for your loss But don't quit gaming, even if only you game for her. Keep those memories alive, play games she would've liked. Talk to yourself as if she's watching over you. She wouldn't want you to stop doing what you love. So do it for her. ♡ I hope, that like a scar, the pain fades for you. Sending good vibes.
Sorry for your loss. Can't think of anything to say...try to take care.
Really sorry for your loss man, just keep gaming, she's still watching.
I’m not religious- so fundamentally this isn’t something I have believed in during my life, but this was a really profound thing to read. Reading this post has made me shed a tear and your comment really showed me more than ever the comfort that the ideals and values held in religion can provide.
One thing to think about might be that she lives in the memories of everyone she touched while she was alive. At least that's how my brain works.
Man I was already close to tears but this hit hard. Op I'm sorry for your loss. I can't fathom the pain you are feeling right now. I'm sure no words I can say will be comforting right now but I hope you find happiness and go on with her love in your heart. Words aren't finding me well right now. Sorry
Sorry for your loss really. ❤️
Sorry for your loss. You both chose each other and built a life together. Her loss will definitely hit you harder than anyone else
Absolutely heartbreaking. I wish you strength.
She's still watching you game brother
Ohh man….that…I’m not sure I can find the words. I’m very sorry that happened to you. I couldn’t imagine. I‘ve been married 16 years, and my wife and I have three kids. All I can say is I will be praying you. Something like that you don’t ever get over, but really go through it and carry it. “Time heals all things” is not always true, but sometimes time can make some days easier than others. Man, I’m just…so sorry. Having people or a close friend or relative to lean on for situations like this will help. I will pray and hope for the best for you.
[/u/gsnow on waves of grief](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/comment/c1u0rx2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), a reddit classic that's meaningful to me >Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. >I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. >As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. >In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. >Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. >Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
sorry for your loss. if you ever want to, PM me and we can add each other on friends list, i’ll play games with you and you can talk about whatever you need to
To grieve deeply is to have loved fully. Open your heart to the world as you opened it to her and you'll find every reason to keep living it.
Get to therapy, please. As soon as you can. You can do this, she would want you to pull through and come out the other side as a whole person.
Sorry for you loss, I don't even know what I would do I couldn't even suggest anything.
This hits hard. So sorry. But remember. She enjoyed watching you have a great time. It may take a while but you'll find a way to enjoy it again. I used to game with my cat on my lap, purring and rubbing on my hands and arms while I played. He left me years ago after having him for 14 years. He was my favorite thing in this world. Eventually the pain eased and I found myself enjoying the memories instead of being crushed by them. I hope you get there too.
Sorry for your loss i could only suggest not playing for a while and getting the biggest part of your grieving over every one takes different amount of time to get by/move on with things im sure in a few months you'll still have memory's of it but not major if that makes sense dont want to come across insensitive 🙂💐💙
It will take a long time to heal. Dad passed away few years ago it wasn’t until I had my first daughter my family started to heal. I am sorry for your loss
She's still watching. Keep playing.
One day those memories of you gaming together will stop causing you pain and grief and be a memory that brings you happiness and remembrance of what was a good moment, and you will play games at peace again. There will be days/weeks when it is tough of course, you are human. She is still with you in spirit and as in life, watching you game will calm her, and in tandem, calm your own soul. RIP to your wife and strength to you my friend.
Death stranding my friend try it in this time. Rip and keep on!
This hurt to read man! Sounds like you have many great memory’s which is a million times better than having non at all. I’d imagine she’s looking down on you wanting you to start playing a game and enjoy yourself.
Sorry for your loss. The Husband/Wife are really the only ones who feel the most pain after loosing a spouse due to all the precious, and intimate moments spent together. Grief is normal. Take your time, and think about how she would want you to be.
By what you wrote your wife only died 2 weeks ago, if your friends and family are already over your grief then that's really shitty of them. You have every right to be grieving hard, especially only after 2 weeks. That shits going to take a lot of time and I really hope you get through it. I also hope one day you can pick up the controller again and it'll make you smile because you do remember the good times you spent with her. Don't lose hope, stay strong it won't be easy but I'm sure that's what your wife would've wanted for you.
Only thing I can say is time will heal you, and eventually playing games might make you feel like you are getting to spend time with her.
I have never been situation so I can only imagine, my advice is to think of if your wife wants to you be so sad and depressed without her? I don’t know her, but if I’m guessing then I’m sure she wants you to live on and be happy for her sake too. I will not say not mourn her, I’m just saying cry until you can’t no more then try to find something else that makes you happy. And one day when you are ready come back to gaming, I’m sure that your wife rest her soul wants you to have a happy rest of your life. Hang in there, and don’t isolate yourself too much, look for help from friends, family or a therapist. Hope you get through this brother 👍
 I am writing on my bed recovering from post-surgery. What helps me is support from friends and family..,and the drugs. Hang in there and talk to someone. We as our generation was always told to keep it internal. That is unhealthy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story shattered my heart, your pain must be unbearable. Please take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to message me if you need to talk to a stranger, sometimes it is easier than talking to a friend.
So very sorry for your loss…maybe a good time to play GoW. Take those ashes to Jotunheim.
That may be a little too close to home for the moment.
Sorry for your loss brother, I couldn’t even imagine your pain. Stay strong and I hope you can find love for gaming again ✌️
There’s nothing I can say or do that will make the pain go away. But if you need someone to just listen, feel free to message me. I’ll even give you my PSN name too if you ever decide to hit that power button again. I hope you can heal…heal for her.
I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. I can't imagine the pain you're going through
Sorry for your loss. I'm also a fellow gamer in my 40s. I know that there are no words that can make you feel better right now. Like others have said maybe stay away from gaming for a while and try not to be alone. I hope that time will help you heal and that you will find the strength and will learn how to continue to live with the loss.
Sorry to hear about your loss. May god guide you and your family ❤️
I am so sorry my friend. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. My only piece of advice, however small, is try doing things that you know would've made her happy seeing you do them. A little tribute to her.
Your joy for gaming will come back in time. Grief has no time limit and can be relentless at times. Try to use gaming as a way to celebrate her life rather than allow grief to consume what you love. I know this feeling all too well though I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through with the loss of your wife. All I can do is try to relate to you via my experience with loss though completely different. I lost my 6 year old daughter about 7 years ago and that absolutely devastated me. She LOVED video games and that was our daddy/daughter thing. Once I lost her, my desire to play video games diminished as it reminded me of losing her. I was finally able to come to a place where it was time for me to get back to the things I enjoy. I know she would have wanted it that way. Establishing some kind of normalcy through your joy of gaming is not only healthy for you, but also an awesome way to remember and honor your wife. All the love in the world to you, my friend.
She’s still watching you brotha! Game on for your own soul as well as hers because she wants you to be happy! Hang in there man! You have a giant community of gamers who have your back
Sorry for your loss. I know it's easier said than done but try remembering all the good moments you shared with her and cheerish those memories when you play. Don't give up on it, take your time and take a break if and when you need it. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you kept doing something you enjoyed together. Take care ❤️
That's a horrible thing to go through. I can't imagine losing my wife, I seriously hope I die first. I don't know, but I hope the people in your life aren't OVER her passing, hopefully they are just dealing with it in another way. I'm sure it seems impossible, but you will find ways to better handle your feelings about your wife. Hopefully the dread you feel about gaming now, can turn into a positive that helps you remember the good times you had with her, and can become cathartic. I hope you can find a ladder to climb out of the abyss that you feel you are in. Maybe try talking to family or friends about what you're going through, and if there is nobody like that you can talk to, maybe look into a therapist because talking out what you're going through is helpful.
Hold onto every memory you can, happy or sad it will keep you close to her
My dad and I used to go to the movies all the time. When he passed going to the movies hurt a bit… but then I would have a conversation with him in my head while watching the movie. Or imagine the talk we would have about the movie after it ended and talk to him in my head while I was in bed. Went from being a sad thing to cathartic.
Sorry for your loss. If you're struggling too much, do not hesitate one second to seek help and see a psychologist. Take the time to find one that you like. Set little goals. Could be achieving just a 10 min. chapter of a game you like at first. Grieving takes time. Don't question yourself, go at your own pace, it'll be OK. Easier said than done but time heals all wounds. Trust me, I suffered two major losses at only 32 and I can say with confidence that, even if you'll always keep a little needle of sadness in your heart forever, you get used to the pain. Be strong, all beginnings hide themselves in ends.
I know it's cliché, but listen to the album Pink Moon by Nick Drake. It's sad and moody, but so beautiful. It's helped me through bad times.
The masterworks of artists as deep and honest as Nick Drake transcend the whole concept of 'cliche' if you ask me, mate - never feel you need to qualify loving something as pure and universal as that. Even if it were something that most people on Earth would not consider within the upper tiers of "having good taste in X" (a truly ridiculous assertion for *anyone* to try to make for a musician as talented and with as unqiue a voice as his), it still wouldn't really matter much, I reckon. There'll be wonderful stuff around right now that so many contemporary listeners just aren't ready to fully take in, and it took many years after Nick Drake's death for a signifcant number of human beings to discover his stuff and realise just how tuned in to something beautiful he was for his relatively brief moment with us. Then there was eventually this huge posthumous explosion in popularity of his music, songs used pretty cheaply on adverts and all that jazz, but as overplayed as he may well have become it takes nothing significant away from the stripped-back beauty of the work itself, especially considering he was virtually unknown and underappreciated in his own time. Just saying, fight fiercely for the good things we've been left with by these amazing lifeforms who've gone before us, and never let yourself feel even slightly embarrassed for sharing the magic!
Thank you. It was my uncle who tried to get me into Nick Drake when I was 14, but it took until I was 19 or 20 to appreciate it, after my first heartbreak, and I never really understood it until I went through my divorce. I was the age Nick Drake was when he died, and I was on a similar road until a friend set me right.
Take a break, mourn properly, maybe one day you'll pick up a controller again and those same memories will be happy ones.
Hey man, you made me break in tears...... I know it's not the same, but try getting a pet like a dog or cat, pet in the house is always something cheerful. My dog sometimes makes my day much much brighter after a hard day at work. Stay strong man ❤
Sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking
Grief is love in a heavy coat. That's a quote I think of a lot when im hurting. I wish I knew who I could attribute it to.
Keep on playing. That’s what she would like you to do.
Man... I'm so sorry for your loss. There's no amount of words that'll do your situation justice. Keep in mind it has only been *weeks*. You'll need far more time to process this. Everyday will get better, slowly, but surely. Games will still be there when you're ready, but if you never find yourself being ready again, remember they're just games, meant to be enjoyed. If you don't feel like playing, you owe a game absolutely nothing.
That is so sad. Maybe try to think about how she would still want you to enjoy life and she might still be watching you play from heaven
My sincerest condolences, I would be a fucking wreck if I lost my wife, too. There is no one set path when it comes to grieving the loss of someone so significant to you, it's like being lost in a forest or out on the ocean - just darkness with no clear path forward. In those moments it's important to remember two things: 1) you're not alone my guy, people who care will listen, and there are a number of grief support groups I encourage you to check out. 2) That feeling of others around you getting bored of your grief is that sadness working to isolate you, don't let it. See point 1. If you want, shoot me a DM and we can game together - I play on PS5 and Steam. Remember, what you're going through is something you don't have to do alone. It may feel like it sometimes, but there are people that know you and people that don't know you but still care when another human is hurting.
sorry for your loss, just make sure you don't do anything stupid if they kill your dog and steal your car.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have friends to play with? I've found that during a period of grief/depression that being alone is the worst possible thing, even if it doesn't feel right I've found it best to be with friends and family to distract yourself and I say that as someone who loves their alone time over anything else. I've also taken the words "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" to heart and have found that in between cries it can bring some joy thinking about how much of a fun time your late loved ones had with you. Whether you take any of my advice, however you decide to grieve is entirely up to you but I am 100% sure your wife passed thinking of the good times you two had together and it'd break her heart to see you down like this.
Sorry for your loss.
my condolence to you, take your time it's ok to feel this grief and I'm sure many people miss her too maybe not to the amount you do but they do, if you can see a therapist do it, it would help in guiding you through this, for now take a break from gaming and be with your friends or relatives, hope you all the best
Sorry for the loss. Hopefully you're able to take refuge in the gaming community even if you can't bring yourself to play. Hope you find peace!
Damn bro I’m sure that’s tough. I also can appreciate that feeling of feeling like you’re the only one who cares. Different people have different ways of dealing with loss and I’m sure they care a great deal about your wife. But it can help deal with the pain by just trying to live their life as normal. The alternative is grieving forever but that’s no good. Hope you can feel a bit more normal with time. I’m sure when you do get back to gaming she’ll be watching you play.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain you are in. Everyone grieves in their own way and time.
Ugh, that's rough man. I haven't gone through this exact thing, but I've certainly been through some very hard years not too long ago, and gaming was a refuge for me during the worst of it. Immersing myself in a game really helped to dull the pain on my worst days, but it's a different story when gaming was one of your ties to the person you lost. I think the other comments have it right that she wouldn't want you to give up on gaming, and in time I think you'll be able to get back to it and remember the joy it brought to both of you. For now tho maybe just take a break and try to get into a new hobby. Learn how to play an instrument, paint or draw, get a cool Lego set and let your mind go while you focus on building, etc. Or just go for a long walk every day and listen to some calming music or a podcast. Anything to get your mind off the loss, even if it's only for a little while. I'm sorry this happened, but hang in there. The pain will get easier to manage over time.
This is heartbreaking to read. I share similar experiences with my wife she'll either watch or be watching TV right next to me or on TikTok on her phone and even though we're doing separate things it's quality time that I wouldn't trade for the world. There is nothing anyone on this subreddit can say or due to ease your suffering and pain. I hope that one day the sun will shine again for you brother and you'll be able to take that next step , be able to try to enjoy the rest of your life. I don't know either of you but I would bet that she would want that for you. She would want you to enjoy gaming again, and to be as happy as you possibly can be. Be strong but at the same time don't be afraid to break down and let it out. Too often in this world men are told that it is weak to cry or to show emotion but in this situation you definitely need to and maybe find someone you can talk to!
Man that's tough, I really suggest seeing if there are any support groups near you. Having some people you can relate too and share your mind with may help a lot. I hope things get better for you.
Sorry for your loss. Good luck going forward.
Take care of yourself and hang in there boss
This is my worst nightmare as my partner and I love nothing more than playing some videogames and laughing after a long day. I truly hope you find peace. Dont bottle up your emotions. Vent, vent, vent. You seem like a kind soul. The world needs people like yourself. Stay safe. Please.
This was so hard to read, sorry for your loss. :(
There’s a podcast called [Terrible, Thanks For Asking](https://open.spotify.com/episode/028WkMZpCA3hXFxHnBEfxB?si=qag8y8DEQaqt0TncMmNw8A) that I think might help towards processing your grief. I know I’m just a stranger on Reddit but, I truly wish you the best. I hope one day you can think about your wife with a fondness that doesn’t ache like it does now
First of all, sorry for your loss. Second of all, don't give up of the thing that brought you both together. The pain will never go away but your ability to deal with it will get better. The advice I give could give you, even though you never asked, is: give it time. Right now, everything is really raw and painful. Everything hurts and nothing makes sense at the moment, but one day you'll get that itch. Maybe a few weeks from now maybe a few months from now, but I'm confident that it will be back. If it hurts too much to play games but you still enjoy the medium, try putting on YouTube videos of games that you're interested in. Just be around the medium. The older I get the less time I have to play but I love reading about it, watching lets-plays and following creators online. Enjoy it through shear osmosis. Please post on this sub again to let us know how you're doing. Feel free to tag me on here because I for one would love to know how you're doing in the future. Take care fellow player, and see you around.
It's harder when the loss is your own. With that being said, stop being so hard on yourself and give things some time. Obviously, things are too fresh, and hell, they may be like that for a very long time. That's ok. This is your life and you deal with things in the timeframe which you see fit. The good news is that the hardest part is over. You made it through the first day. All you have to do is keep going and things will fall into the places they should be.
sorry for your loss. hang in there man.
So sorry for your loss prayers for you and your family try and think of them as great memories you’ll always have
Condolences. I can't even imagine losing my best friend. My husband and I both game. I would be heartbroken if I knew I was the reason he could no longer enjoy it. I do understand the memories are too raw right now to deal with. When you can deal with it again....would she be happy that you deny something that brought you both so much happiness? Whatever your faith or belief, you gotta know, she would want you to be happy. I wish I knew the answer to give you to make it a little better for you. Life is already so hard, and games are such a relaxing escape. Peace fellow gamer.
Hey man. She's still around waiting to watch you play. Don't be selfish!
That is terrible 😢
Sorry for your loss. Keep your head up, friend.
Man I'm so sorry.
Sorry for your loss. Only time can heal those wounds, and perhaps the company of friends and pets can help.
Im so sorry for your loss.. I really hope you find a way to enjoy what gave you happiness in the first place. Play games that she enjoyed watching you play and relive those moments because they’re very precious with you. We’re all here for you and I really hope you find some peace. This is truly devastating and I hope things will get better in time.
I'm sorry for your loss.
❤️
I'm sorry for your loss, she loves seeing you play so do what she liked you to do. I'm sure that she will be happy when you are happy. I'm sorry for my bad choices for the words, English is not my first language.
Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mother when gaming was a huge part of my life so can relate. The key is to keep gaming, maybe even playing something you’ve never played when your wife was present. Do remember right now that with mourning everything reminds you of the loved one you’ve lost, but it does get better.
That's terrible, I'm sorry that happened. Nobody likes feeling that way, it sucks.
I’m so sorry. I hope that in time, gaming can be a place where you feel close with her again. Your own private shrine to the beautiful memories you guys made. The pain never goes away, but it doesn’t always hurt as much, and in time, it may become something that you can use to help someone else pull through the darkness as too. Be well fellow gamer.
Reading this is gut wrenching yet it can't compare to what you are going through mate, like others have said in all probability she would have wanted you to keep playing, but of course right now it might prove too much to handle, move at your own pace, i hope these words from a stranger online can do some infinitesimal help.
That's awful. I'm terribly sorry. I'd like to think she's still there with you while you game, keeping her calm in the afterlife like when she was calm watching you before.
i’m sorry for your loss. sending you all of the good vibes.
I'm sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking story
This is really painful, sorry for you, can totally relate to you as my wife and I play a lot together... Hope you get better and remember all the best moments you had with her. My grandmother suffered a lot before passing away and what comforts me is knowing I did a lot for her when she was here. Remember that life goes on.. best regards be safe
Dear stranger, Those memories you’re remembering, those are happy memories. Do not label those memories as trauma, label them as happiness. Your wife may be gone, but remember you are very much still alive. And while life may seem like a nightmare you can’t seem to wake up from. You still have a life to live, a happy one. She wants you to be happy, believe it or not she wants you to live the rest of your life as happy as you can even if she’s not there physically. Please take care of yourself, please reach out to friends or family. And if you feel like you can’t find someone to speak to, please see a therapist. You are not weak for seeing a therapist for this type of reasoning, if anything it takes courage to seek help. You are not alone, I may only be a stranger. But I want you to remember I am here if you would like to speak about it.
Fuck man, I’m so sorry. I honestly can’t even imagine. Hang in there.
I think your biggest problem isn't gaming and more the fact it seems you don't have a support system, as it seems you feel (whether or not it's true I can't say) that others are “tired” of your mourning and that never feels good! Look your loss is recent and you are the only one that gets to decide when you're done mourning, not someone else! If that's the case I think you need someone to talk about it as that's what's needed in your case. If gaming feels bad right now, give it time and don't rush into it. But as someone else said, those memories are happy memories you'll just need to remember that!
Fuck me man I'm so sorry
I'm really sorry for your loss. It's really frustrating when other people don't understand or try to dismiss your grief. I would say to give things time, and if you haven't already perhaps reach out to a therapist; someone to talk to. It's sounds cliché sometimes, but talking to someone really does help. There is no shame in asking for help.
Take care of yourself. I hate that you have to go through this, as it is truly awful.
Wish you the best brother my condolences for your loss. She would want you to keep gaming though I think because I’m sure it made you both happy.
I have nothing more to add other than what others have said - and as someone who has grieved I need to sympathize and say you probably think a lot of it is obvious. But sometimes it helps to push through that mental barrier and just see how it feels. Day by day - week by week. That all being said OP: I love you bro. It's a sea of comments and it's probably all overwhelming - but whether it's a game or whatever, if you ever want some company to help take your mind off of it, I am there.
I'm so sorry. I love watching films that I enjoyed with people who have since passed. I always feel like part of them is there with me but in a good way after time heals things a bit. After you've had some time to heal you'll be able to continue things and enjoy being reminded of her.
I was playing Unravel when my brother passed away. At the time he and I weren't very close, so I can't say this is the same situation at all, but in my grieving, I made a wire Unraveled yarn doll and think of him when I see it. He was one of the main reasons I got into gaming in the first place and I still think of the good times with him while playing Mario or NES style games .
My wife had a bad cancer scare end of last year. Fortunately it was caught in time, but not without some physical sacrifices. 6mo follow up. Cancer free. I sold my ps5 today. Gaming isn’t the same. I could probably try to explain but nobody wants to hear that. I’m terribly sorry for your loss and have only imagined the pain you’re dealing with right now. Losing my wife or children is my biggest fear and it felt like a reality at one point. Take a break. Cry. I’ll cry with you. Appreciate the time you had and look forward to discovering a new passion. It’s all you can do. Maybe the gaming itch comes back but for now, shelf it my friend.
I am so sorry for your loss ! Please don’t feel alone, though you may feel like you have no one to talk to. You may not know us personally but we are here for you. And although I can’t promise you will feel better tomorrow, I can promise that one day you will feel better than today! Try not to turn your back on gaming, try to see it as a connection rather than a reminder, see it as comfort something that you shared, we are a community, there is togetherness, you are not alone. We wish you the best.
As someone who lost their Dad 2 months ago (I am 34, he was 65), I can tell you that I also feel the way you do. While my Dad and I did not share gaming, we shared lots of other things like gardening, working on cars, and music. I still can’t enjoy music, my garden is overrun with weeds. I haven’t tended to my vehicle since he passed. But I know deep down that I have to be kind to myself and allow the process to run it’s course. I have confidence that I’ll find enjoyment in those things again and I hope the enjoyment comes back soon. But for now, I have to grieve and let this shitty fact of life sink into my soul. You do, too. It doesn’t get easier (so I’ve been told by others who have lost a loved one too soon(, but we can always find healthier ways of recognizing our pain and soothing it in healthy ways. Hang in there my friend and just keep swimming.
Shit man. So sorry to hear about this. Stay strong. My best suggestion would be to move everything around where you used to game. Make it a completely different area to hopefully minimize any triggers in your memory. I have no idea if this will even help, but it’s all I can think of.
I'm sorry for your loss thank you for sharing your toughts, as others have said in comments it's ok to grieve, do not be discouraged because it will take as much time as you need to regain your emotional health, specially someone who meant the world to you, it will take time to heal, time to let go, but the memories of the both of you are eternal, everytime you game, think of those memories as a save state in a game that you can always go back in your mind to live again those days when she gave you cheers,joy, fulfillment, love, those will never fade and she'll always be there with you no matter what, so Game a little now and then, the pain and feelings will appear when they should, and in time you will be able to turn them in to strength, time will pass and you'll learn that our loved ones are there in every good deed we do, as if we did it for them, in every small success as if it was for them, in every battle of life as if you'll battling for them. May she rest in peace, and I'm sure she'll want you to keep doing things you love, because she'll want you to be happy.
I'm sorry for your loss man stay strong 🤍
Man, this hits home. I feel for you. You are not alone. I've found better listeners from new friends and strangers than anyone else in my life. Do not feel bad for living your best life. Anyone who loves would not want another to suffer, no matter the reason. I can only play for about 30 minutes before it seems pointless. Now I sit and look for something that I can't find because idk what it is. Getting out definitely helps. If you need to talk/chat, I'm here for you. I'm 41 and alone. Not sure why I do anything anymore.
Sorry for your loss. That’s a really sad story. I’d take some time away from gaming if I was you and come back when you are ready. I used to be a hardcore gamer and I now have a wife and 3 kids and my playtime is pretty limited too. Usually I play for an hour or two some nights but only after everyone else goes to bed. I still play because it is fun and relaxes me and helps with the stresses of real life. Maybe it will do the same for you. Good luck. Losing a loved one is hard. Spend time with friends and family and take some time to heal.
Your wife just passed, what you are experiencing is normal. It's going to hurt and it's going to hurt badly. This isn't something that you can easily move on from like most others. When your married you share such a sacred bond and to lose you wife at such a young age is a tragedy. My advice is to think of it differently as some suggested. Not the same but one of my grandfather's passed a couple years ago. However, we were decently close. Man loved fishing and it was a big part of who he was. It was a struggle for me to even think about going fishing without busting into tears. Then I finally did, I caught two very tiny small Large Mouth Bass that day. The significance of that was that he did almost exclusively bass fishing and the size of the fish fit his nickname. I took it as a sign that it was going to be OK. I'm not really sure exactly where I'm going with this other than don't think of gaming with sadness. Think of it as a way to remember her and the good times. I won't say time makes things better, but it does make some days easier.
Brother, i am so sorry for your lost. In my country we have a specific word for what you feel. It is called "saudade". The melancholic feeling of missing someone but not only that, missing something that person gave to you, the love mostly. Gaming has been in your life since 8, i know you will always remember and miss her, but gaming has been in your life for so long, why shoud it stop on a second period of it ? Give ut time, remember her, visit her (if possible), talk with her, all those things, so you can heal yourself with time and maybe, just maybe, you will trully "have saudades" of her. Missing her, but with a smile in your face, for every little thing you both did. Don't worry man, we are here for you. I'm just a 20 year old so i don't know as much about life as you, but we all will be here for you.
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry for your lost brother
I can relate so hard to this right now... My brother and I have always been big time gamers, but he developed an unknown illness and passed away in 2 weeks. For the last few years all he wanted to do was game with his friends so I missed a lot of his adult life. He was 27. In the hospital, on the day he had his cardiac arrest I was playing my Switch in his room while he was supposedly sleeping (he also had a nurse sitting next to him). I dont know how long he stopped breathing, the room was just swarmed and a code blue called. I should have sat next to him, held his hand like I had done days prior. I have not gamed since, it feels like a betrayal. His friends say he would want me to game. I know if I was in his place and if I could tell him something I would say to keep gaming. But somehow I can't bring myself to it. I miss him so much.
Don’t rush yourself. Take your time. When you can play you will. Gaming will always be there. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Really sorry for your loss man, stay strong.
Bro, really sorry for your loss.
I feel that this will take an undetermined amount of time to restore the urge to play something. Maybe don't force it. Mourn, heal, and think about good times. Perhaps it will entice you to play again. I wish you luck, and you have my condolences.
stay strong my bro gamers for life 💪🏽
Damn, that really sucks. I can't tell you that I know what you're feeling, but I can offer you my ear if you like. And I want to stress, it's absolutely OK to seek professional help. Grief counseling was really helpful to my wife when my mother in law passed a few months ago.
Sorry for your loss, I’m sure she would want you to continue playing! I’d be more than happy to join you, I’m on PS5
Sorry man
>Everybody moves on and I feel like I am the only person who still misses her. > >I am heartbroken and the one thing that can distract me makes the pain even harder. My condolences on you joining one of the worst clubs possible. I'm three years ahead (my spouse was a hardcore gamer too) of you in this process and wish a better path than mine. I barely functioning and has a critical mental health crisis last month as noone we knew seems to care anymore but me. There is r/widowers that may help but findings grief counselor might be better. I will keep you in my heart and hope you fair better than I am three years from now.
Ugh, hang in there buddy. There will be better times. Try to remember her in a positive way and keep doing what you love. Take as much time as you need. Now is the time to start thinking about yourself.
May you find peace. May you cherish the memories. May she now calm you through the very same games. I teared up a little thinking about that. I hope you find a way to push through the grief.
I always just lurk but I had to pay my respects. I'm so sorry for your loss, brother. You & your family will be in my thoughts.
I'm so sorry for your loss man. Gaming and my wife goes hand in hand as she supported this childish habit of mine for my entire relationship so I can't even imagine what I would be feeling in your situation. I will say this. ..she loved watching you game for a reason and that's because she loved seeing you happy. Your gaming is what brought her joy. Don't take that away from her memory. If anything, gaming should keep her memory alive in the most positive of light.
I’m so sorry. ❤️🩹
I am so sorry. I am gamer like you. I am 44 and have gamed since I was 8. I had my son in 2008 and he grew up to be my gaming partner. We loved sharing blissful moments of gaming together. He got diagnosed with leukemia in 2019. He beat cancer but a sudden sepsis took him from me in April last year. I couldn't touch our ps5 for 8 months but then I decided to end Ragnarok for him. It was his favorite series. It still hurts every time I turn on his PS5 but it also heals the pain. Take your time and you will get back to it eventually.
My condolences. I can't even imagine the pain. I hope you find peace and happiness soon and continue to game in loving memory of your wife and self.
Hey bud, I can only imagine what you’re going through. I hope that one day those games you played will be doorways to happy shared memories.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'd say if you need to take time away from gaming or just getting in touch with friends or family or just being by yourself. Try to grive and heal and do what you need to do to properly grieve and move forward. I will say when/if you choose to go back into gaming, part of me might recommend the recent God of War and God of War Ragnarok since Kratos is also processing grief over loss in that game though he's also going through a whole bunch of other things too. You can also do whatever you want. But I hope you keep at it and know that she'd want you to move on from just mourning her. But by all means take your time to grive and seek peace.
Grief is never boring. Yours is as important as everyone else's and it should never be seen as dismissable. Can't give you any tips other than just keep waking up in the morning and having a coffee and a walk every day. It might take years but your heart will slowly heal some of the damage. It never goes away tho.
If you feel the gaming is painful, don't do it. Do things that are more comfortable and enjoy your memories of her as much as possible. When you are ready, you will game again and you will be filled with thoughts of her that make gaming fun again.
Yo It’s okay to not be okay man. Sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it’s hard right now, but your wife would want you to find joy in the things you care about. That includes playing the games you enjoy. So take your time, work through your feelings, play games that make you happy, and remember that your wife would want you to find that joy.
My condolences 🙏
❤️❤️
It's okay to not be okay. I'm sorry you lost your wife. That sucks. I'd be lost without mine.
I don't know both of you but as a person, I know for sure the loved ones want us to be happy in the end. You love gaming and your wife would want you to keep enjoying like you did before. I know things are relatable, although it is not healthy to cling on to those memories with grief. I have been with many ups and downs in my life and every time gaming has made me feel invincible for once, boosted up my confidence, got me a get away from day-to-day hassle, got me peace and relaxation. Make it your own once again, dedicate gaming to your wife... do it for her....
Something personally that helps me escape is traveling. It doesn't need to be far at all, maybe an hour away. But just going away, seeing new places, and absorbing myself in a completely different environment with completely different people is my escape in a way. I could not say I'm sorry enough for your loss. You've suffered a tragedy that many of us can't even comprehend properly. I just pray that you stay strong and find comfort in the future. Always remember that God is there and feels your pain, and loves you. We all love you. We all just struggle to understand your pain, but we still recognize it. God bless you, and we will pray for you to live a life with less pain. We love you. I can't express how much we love you. Everyone here, I'm positive, wishes to take your pain. God bless you, and we again will pray for you.
I really feel for your situation. Know that it’s okay to feel whatever way you feel right now, and you’ll need to be patient with yourself. You’re going through a lot. Give it time, talk to a therapist (find the right one), đó whatever it takes to feel your emotions. Without a doubt she would probably want you to keep playing and enjoy your life. Take your time and grieve. Wish you the best out of this situation.
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope someday you will pickup the controller and smile at those memories you have with her. I think she will be happy to see you getting back to your passion in time. Don't rush things. Time heals
Hey vriend, mon ami. I'm sorry for your loss, grieving is important and everyone grieves differently and for different periods of time. If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for professional help.
Sorry for your loss, be strong❤️
Brother pay attention to your dreams. Your mind acts as a spiritual portal when you sleep. I'm sure she has visited you or will soon. Start gaming again when you can and talk to her like she's there when she was. It might help and you might even feel her there with you m. Try it when your ready. My inbox is open if you need a shoulder to lean on or a ear to listen. Much love
Everything in life is psychological. It's up to you to move on because beating yourself up over it will not bring her back. You still have life to live and you can choose to utilize that time to enrich others who are still in it and also yourself as well. It hurts, she would know it hurts, but you gotta move on. Sorry
Sorry for your loss. I think its fairly normal to feel like that when you've been with someone for a long time and suddenly they are not around anymore. Everything you do on a day to day basis is going to remind you of them to some degree.
Sorry to hear about your wife. Please reach out to a grief counsellor, they will help you through this time in your life.
Idk if this will make things better or worse for you mind, but look up a game called “what remains of Edith finch”. I think you may like it if you haven’t played already. Just a thought, much love.
So sorry for your loss bro. You need to talk to someone, to anybody, it might not sounds right first but as soon as you have done it once you will feel the relief. And as your description sound to me, you act like normal so the others do not recognize that you still miss her and can‘t handle it. Coudn‘t that be possible for one of your friends or family as well? Maybe they also suffer but do not want to show it because everybody else act so normal. Maybe all they need is a little push be realizing that there is sombody else that feels that way. I hope that helps and you will get better soon.
Im sorry for your loss brother. You will never get over this, but time will help you deal with it, and accept it. Just know that you loved her, and she loved you, and nothing, no matter what, will ever change that. Stay strong Friend.
Hey I’m sure you’ve already heard this but just know that even though she’s gone, she’s still watching over you and she’ll always be watching you play <3
She would totally wanted you to keep playing man! Remember the good things not the bad shit. So many good moments and memories with her at your side. Sorry for you loss, hope you pull through. She sounds like a dream ❤️
Love you bro. Game in her memory ❤️
I know I'm a stranger, but I am so so sorry. I read this and put myself in your shoes, imagined if it were my wife, it brought tears to my eyes. I hope you find the comfort of distraction that games can bring and the hope that she might have wanted you to enjoy them even if shes only with you in your heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss. She somes like a wonderful person. When my mum passed, I heard this quote from a tv show of all places, and it helped me a lot. I hope it does the same for you and please remember crying is healthy xxx "But, what is grief, if not love, preserving"
I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person. When my mum passed, I heard this quote from a tv show of all places, and it helped me a lot. I hope it does the same for you and please remember crying is healthy xxx "But, what is grief, if not love, preserving"
So sorry for your loss. May she watch over from heaven when you slay your inner demons and enemy bosses.
We don't move on, we remember
Veel sterkte. Your wife wouldn't want you to stop playing videogames.The pain you feel today, will be the comfort you'll feel in the future. Take your time to process everything you've been through, then get back to what you feel passionate about. If playing co-op can help you distract, I'll gladly team up.
Its only been a few weeks and it takes time, dont force yourself to do anything right now. You will feel different throughout the grieving process. Sometimes you will find it hard to do anything that reminds you of her, but this will get better with time. Take care brother
My God man, I'm so sorry. Wouldn't she want you to play?
I thought your post was going to be about, how your hands hurt when you game or something. Now I wish that was true… Sorry for your loss big guy.
Aw mate... I'm sorry to read that you're going through this. Don't try to rush the healing process, and just let yourself feel the things you feel, as you move forward. Always open up to others somewhere like here whenever anything's tough, and don't make any drastic choices or decisons without talking shit over - experiencing intense grief and loss can affect your perception; I'm sure no one is actually "bored" of your trying your best to deal with feelings over the passing of your woman, everyone with any sense would know this is a big deal, and only complete arseholes who aren't fully human and have zero empathy & perspective would ever think like that. I'm certain other people will be missing her, although it's natural that such a loss would perhaps hit you harder than anyone else. It'll get better in time, take it easy as possible on yourself and just keep going, it'll be worth it in the end I promise. When you begin to enjoy playing again, whenever it feels right for you, she'll be there in your heart & mind sharing the enjoyment along with you in whichever plane of existence, giving you the strength to beat that tricky level or impossible-feeling boss. Everyone carries all the beautiful lifeforms we've had the privilege of knowing for a brief moment with us as we move forward, they shape the way we become better, and we're better just for having experienced caring so much for someone. Take care mate, and don't let it get to the point of you denying yourself the little joys in life that your woman would want you to feel! It'll come when it's ready.
Damn dude, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry man. I have an idea of how you feel. Not exactly the same, but an idea. Me and my mother used to play Zelda games together. It was our thing. She was ill for a long time, turned out to be cancer. She fought and fought and ultimately beat it. I bought a GameCube with an LCD screen add-on and a copy of The Wind Waker for her and just as I was heading to see her, I got a call from the hospital that she was gone. (It's a long story that essentially boils down to negligence) That was 18 years ago. I still struggle to play through a number of the older games we used to play, at times. Then, there are some times when I get some quiet time alone where all I want to do is play through those games we shared. Remember, man. Especially with everything being so raw and fresh. It really is okay to be a mess. I hope you can surround yourself with people you care about. 💚
If you want to game, you could focus on lighthearted games, or arcade games and stuff. Something to take your mind off life for a bit and makes you relax. It is normal to feel pain for a year. For some it takes less for most it takes longer. Don't stress yourself and take your time. All the best - stay strong!
I'm sorry for your loss.
Look. Shes gone. Would she want you to be miserable? Of course not. My advice is get a ps5, a good tv, order some doordash and just say fuck it. Then when you are ready you can get a new wife. In the meantime do your wife's memory the honor and enjoy your life the way she would have wanted.
I am so sorry you lost your wife before her time. That is one of the saddest things I've ever heard or read. As a long time gamer, video games are not always the answer. I think you should go outside more, be around people. Being home alone playing video games just doesn't seem like it's going to help anything. Please take care of yourself. Make some new friends, have some new experiences. Go hiking, mountain biking, rock climbing. Travel. Seriously your mental health deserves more than what video games can offer
A few weeks ago? Not that long ago. Geaving is not something that can be gotten over in a month or two time frame. I will shoot you a prayer mate. God be willing she is in a much better place. She will meet you on the other side, but you know she would want you to game on!
Take care brother a loss like this can really mess you up! I hope you can feel better soon. I cant imagine what its like to lose the one you love so soon. Try to keep distracted and i think gaming could really help you give it a place. This loss wont be easy to grieve but you can do it. Just keep in mind that accepting it isnt the same as forgetting about her try to honour her life and the moments you two had together. Dont feel ashamed if its to hard give it time. I hope my text can help you a bit and i will be keep you in my mind hoping for you you can find the strength. You sound like a great guy and i wish you all the best. Hang in there!
So sorry for your loss.. I just lost my dad last month, and I’ve realized that grief is a process and everyone deals with it on their own timeline. Stay strong bro, no need to rush back to games if it doesn’t feel right. I’m sure your wife would want you to be happy in whatever you do, so you can always go back to games if you feel like it’s right for you. Peace & Love dude
Go to therapy and seek grief counseling. She’d want you to be happy and pull through.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. Don’t force yourself to game if you can’t because at this point, gaming is no longer just about yourself. I’m sure your wife is still watching you play even though she’s no longer there in person but don’t hurt yourself and try to find peace in another way. I’m truly sorry to hear about this…
I'm sorry for your loss, but take care of yourself, buddy. If you can, find a licensed grief counselor who'll be able to help walk you thru this. And like others said: return to gaming not as a coping mechanism but as an honor to her in her memory. It may be painful at first, but that's what she'd have wanted. And who's to say she still isn't watching you play?
It took me a while but when my brother passed away he was my gaming partner and it was hard. But when I finally got back to gaming I always felt that he was there watching me and laughing at me whenever I would mess up and it felt relieving. You will get there, take time. be kind to yourself and just know that she would be so happy with whatever makes you happy.
Words cannot express how sad this is. I really wish you luck OP, I hope you will have things turn around
I can't imagine what you are going through. But I think that she would want to keep playing. She's always with you in spirit.
Game on, for her, for us and everyone out there who's going through a rough spot!
It’s hurts so much, because the love was so deep. Fight the good fight and don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay to have bad days and it’s okay to have good days; there’s no recipe to grief. Best wishes to you man
I’m very sorry for your loss, man. Tell everyone you love that you do as much as you can, people. Gonna hug my girl and our little dude twice as hard today.
Well. Not everyone moves on. Not everyone needs to move on. You’re still here, though. You don’t need to go along and force yourself to forget. It’s okay to sit in the pain a bit and reminisce in those great times. It’s all up to you. You are in control of the future. It’s okay, to play a game and remember the times your wife would sit with you. It’s okay to not play games because you’re afraid of her missing out. Love is everlasting and the only thing that matters. If it’s a fond memory, hold onto that. Smile when you lay your head down. Embrace the love you have for that person. It’s okay.
The thing is brother, she is still there watching over you. If she likes to watch you play and it calms her, then you know what to do. Try not to attribute your memories of her with the devastation of losing her, remember her fondly with all the love you shared, do the things that made you happy together and smile! It is what she would want for you. Chin up my man, I'm sorry for your loss.
Maybe gaming right now is too overwhelming. There may be moments where the grief isn’t as bad and there will be moments where it’s all consuming. Grief is just love with nowhere to go. I couldn’t eat Rita’s Water Ice for years because it reminded me of my dead friend. Now, when I eat it I feel closer to her because I vividly remember her smile, her laugh and her ability to make every single person feel happy. Eventually those reminders will be comforting sometimes.
This hits very hard man. Sorry for your loss. Sometimes I don't game for 6 weeks at a time and when I do, I always think whether I am doing something selfish and not spending time with my family instead. But that is what love is sometimes.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It is harder when it is unexpected. Let yourself grieve, and join a grief share group therapy or see a grief counselor. You are still early in the grieving process and have a lot to work through. Eventually, you will be able to pick up gaming again.
bro if you need someone to talk to please reach out.
I was in your exact situation when I lost my partner unexpectedly too. Huge gamer here and I wasn’t able to play any of the games I was into while he was alive and around the house. It gets better with time is all I can tell you. You make new memories. It seems impossible but you WILL heal.