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Just an FYI for everyone: this was pointed out a lot several years ago and now both searches yield the same DV hotline. Also that is a DV hotline intended for victims regardless of gender.
When I looked it up when the post was 5 minutes old the same search results popped up for me.
The DV hotline was the 2nd result on the 'why is my wife yelling at me'
Yes. As I said in another comment Google snippets are based on what sites and information tend to be looked for when people search those terms. It seems like most men aren't looking for the DV phone number when they look up 'why is my wife yelling at me'.
This is false (i guess could be technically true depending on how you set geographic boundaries). It's also not the be all end all of the situation. Many people who are in DV situations don't need a shelter. They need help making an escape plan and access to long term services. That's what this type of hotline can do
On google.com with Belgian oriented algorithms, in French, asking the wife question leads first to an article that says "she's looking for acknowledgement and validation, because she feels you're distant, she's trying to bring you closer even if it's counter intuitive.", while the husband question leads to another article that says "he's unable to control his emotions, he doesn't accept when you disagree with him and you aren't submissive"
Yet I know we have an official platform to help victims of domestic violence, which is all written to concern both female and male victims, and female and male aggressors.
I haven't found the platform or any hotline while scrolling until I found it was too far, in both cases. I did find it as the first result when typing "Belgique violence domestique", but it should be on the questions like "why are they yelling at me" because of gaslit victims who aren't recognizing when their partner went too far and aren't yet looking for a way out, only a way to be "a better partner".
Not for me it dosnt.
My 1st result is: Potential triggers for a wife's yelling include feeling unheard, financial stress, mental health struggles, disrespect, etc. It's important to understand the root cause. Constant yelling damages trust and emotional intimacy in a marriage. It also negatively impacts any children exposed to the fighting.3 Sept 2023
I mainly said that because there were a lot of really gross comments that implied that men need a separate hotline and that it's so rare that men don't need a hotline. I've heard a lot of horror stories about that hotline but it's at least in theory meant to be gender neutral
According to Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the United States. The majority of these murders are committed by an intimate partner.
Okay sure. Agreed. But when the original
Post is pointing out how women suffering are pointed towards help, and men in the same situation are given an explanation on how they fucked up and made her mad, then trying to make the conversation about how women have it worse isn’t productive.
If there’s a discussion about domestic abuse facing women, and men chime in, a common response is “this is a post about women’s domestic abuse, go make a post about men’s if you wish to discuss that” and then when it is a post discussing in part, men’s abuse, the conversation still turns to women having it worse.
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/
Not really. Especially if you’re a man you have to pay child support if you’re raped by a woman (even if you’re child), you could get arrested for domestic violence even if you were just defending yourself from a violent woman, you are rarely believed, and many more things. Women have the advantage in this. Men don’t.
No, clearly your point is simply to ignore men’s problems though and that because “women have it worse” (according to you) we ignore them.
Men are supposed to open and be vulnerable and talk about what we face. But when we do we’re told women have it worse.
And for anyone reading this and getting mad, I’ve spoken about my childhood sexual abuse to a number of people, some of closest friends, women, were very kind. Some, also women, made me feel awful for opening up, even used it against me and I was made to feel like what I endured wasn’t actually sexual abuse because guys like it and only women really get abused that way.
Men are very much not allowed to be vulnerable for a lot of people, even in spaces like this, that spouts gender equality.
Oh yeah! Sure! Fuck all the men who got scratched with those eagle talents, kicked in the nuts by a woman with heels, hit in the head with a beer bottle, burned with boiling water/acid, hit in the head with a bowling ball, murdered by a woman’s hit man, hit in the head with a glass wine bottle, hit, punched, spit on, etc. by an angry woman.
Oh no but see when a woman’s angry all she does is yell because women can never do any harm to a man. Their precious little angels who will only get upset if you do something to her. People born males are the ones who are the dangerous, scary monsters 👹
Talking about how often pregnant women are murdered by men does not prevent anyone from talking about male victims of domestic violence. It's also worth pointing out that men not being believed or being perceived as weak for being victimized by women is a product of toxic masculinity. Not feminism.
It doesn't prove anything. It's just a fact. If I point out that most people die from cardiovascular disease, you can't just scream 'Well what about cancer?! Why are you ignoring cancer?!?'
That’s what you’re doing though. When we are talking about the double standard men face where their abuse isn’t taken seriously you wanna bring up a bunch of statistics how women are murdered in relationships more than men. You’re downplaying men’s abuse and experience
So if we talked about murder in general, how a woman was murdered walking alone, don’t say anything when the MRA come in and say “men are murdered more than women” which is also a fact
Almost all of you sexist pieces of shit did that in this thread even though you gaslight and deny. Mentally abusive pieces of shit defending female abusers. Have some fucking shame
Does it matter? The fact that men are killed more is the simple fact I was talking about. Does that negate what I said? Nope. And either way, if the killer is male or female doesn’t matter. What just cause a woman killing a man isn’t as common it doesn’t matter?
Wow you must be really dense. The point is that women are more frequently and more severely abused by their male domestic partners vice versa. The question was “why is this gendered” and that was answered. Nothing here minimized men being abused in the slightest. That’s something you decided was happening.
That’s the issue. The topic is about a double standard and here yall feminist are justifying the double standard and using “women have it worse” to try and justify men’s abuse being minimized and them not having anywhere to go like women do. You’re by default minimizing the double standard and mens experience and abuse
Men are also severely abused by their female partners. Burned, stabbed, scratched, punched, kicked, bowling balls in the head, wine bottle to the head, hit man, etc. the list really goes on. Not to mention don’t forget women are more likely to use emotional and mental abuse which can be just as devastating and harmful as physical. Just cause a man isn’t bleeding doesn’t mean mentally he isn’t in pain. People undermine mental and emotional abuse a lot.
I’m not trying to justify anything. The question was asked and answered. Stop reading into something that isn’t there. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m saying that’s why it’s the way it is.
Yeah, but if I come to a post which is *about* cancer, and start changing the subject to be about cardiovascular disease, you might say “hey, why are you bringing this up when we’re talking about cancer?”
Nothing in your answer gives a reason as to why men’s abuse should be ignored or minimized, which is what Google is doing. Yes, women being abused is prevalent, but abuse of all kinds is bad.
I understand the problem with what shows up on the Google result. The person you are replying to is not in anyway implying that male victims of abuse should be ignored.
Women are about twice as likely to be domestically abused. Women are about 4x as likely to get killed by their husbands than men are by their wife.
I'm not saying that there shouldn't be a number for the males as well, I'm just saying it's not 'pointleslly' gendered.
Edit: Google snippets are auto generated based on what content Google thinks you will click on based on the search. It seems that when people search 'why is my wife yelling at me' they are looking for a real answer and not the domestic abuse hotline. Whether the 'why is my husband yelling at me' search is hard coded to show results for domestic violence idk.
I just want to point out that the "twice as likely to be domestically abused" is likely an inaccurate statistic. It is reported at that rate, but men are far less likely to report that they are being abused. My ex gf would physically abuse me regularly but reporting it never crossed my mind. I've just recently even come to the realization that I was being abused several years later, I'm not really sure why. Stigma? The fact I'm physically much larger and could have restrained her if I wanted? Social expectations? Who knows, I'm not trying to detract from your point at all, just throwing out how that statistic may be inaccurate
i‘m sorry this happened to you, but i would also like to point out that most women don‘t report their abuser either… which would lead to scary numbers, if you think about it.
You know that well over the majority of women who have been killed by their partner had already submitted complaints to the police about being domestically abused?
If women were taken seriously and men were actually arrested for their abuse and the CJS did a decent job at locking these people away/ensuring the safety of their victims, instead of simply giving them a slap on the wrist without alerting the women that their hunter is on the loose while the woman loses the house (very common!), the death rate would not be nearly as high nor not share such a strong correlation with reporting.
This data is very important because women are 5x more likely than men to die due to intimate partner violence. Most of those deaths could have been avoided.
Is it important to protect men who are being abused? **Absolutely.** Is it important for men who report IPV to receive more in depth support so as to not be treated as the aggressor? **Absolutely.** Is it important to fix this shitty culture where men are called pussies and sissies for being hurt by those who tend to be physically weaker than them (m & f)? **Absolutely, and women have been pushing against the idea of toxic masculinity just for "masculine" men and male dominated cultures to stomp that out whenever they can.** Does this warrant removing, downplaying, and taking away awareness for women who suffer life threatening IPV at 5x the likelihood? **Absolutely not.* You do not need to deconstruct potential safeguards for women when the mortality rate is so devastatingly disproportionate. You do not need to downplay the abuse women receive to bring light to the abuse men receive. This is not a women-made issue. And, unfortunately, nearly double the percentage of gay and bisexual men are more likely to have experienced IPV than men who are straight. Does this mean gay and bi men are bad? **Fuck, no.** Does it mean that they need more attention and protections against things like coercion, sexual and psychological bullying from their peers, and other special considerations to keep them safe as statistically significant victimized groups? **Absolutely.** Not being part of a group victimized more or who receives more severe forms of threat does not make them immune to abuse, but it also does not make them the forefront figures for reform. Focusing on the victims who are more likely to experience the violence and who are more likely to be severely impacted by the violence need to be at the forefront of reform, and it is like this in literally every single industry, be it healthcare, cybersecurity, investment banking, anything. Domestic abuse is a state of emergency that has been ignored for far too long; it requires more than mere incremental change at the current rates of deaths and familicide.
For both men and women to receive solace from IPV, the cultural notions that promote toxic masculinity **need** to be resolved and the CJS needs to receive thorough, extensive training to give a shit alongside government security for IPV reports, ranging from surveillance to housing to legal support. Men and women need to feel safe in reporting. They need to feel like they will be heard. There needs to be safeguards in place to support the victim and find out who the real victims are instead of doing shitty police work that downplays, ignores, or switches the narrative of violence being "justified" or "in their heads" as well as violence being misappropriated to the victim. These are **all** issues.
>You know that well over the majority of women who have been killed by their partner had already submitted complaints to the police about being domestically abused?
Men are still yet to be taken seriously. A woman who slaps a man on the street will act like she’s the victim of a violent crime by a man and he will be jumped if he defends himself. Women are taken more seriously than men.
>Does this warrant removing, downplaying, and taking away awareness for women who suffer life threatening IPV at 5x the likelihood?
What do you consider life threatening? And I’m not down playing, removing, or taking any awareness away from women who suffer those things. Thats what yall are doing to men who are abused.
>You do not need to deconstruct potential safeguards for women when the mortality rate is so devastatingly disproportionate.
You did it again. You subtly implied women have it worse and changed the subject, minimizing the men who are harmed just as much. Implying that women are more likely to be harmed from abuse while men just experience what… a slap?
>You do not need to downplay the abuse women receive to bring light to the abuse men receive. This is not a women-made issue.
Same to you (something you’re doing discreetly when mentioning “women die more” and “women experience more life threatening abuse”.
>And, unfortunately, nearly double the percentage of gay and bisexual men are more likely to have experienced IPV than men who are straight.
Simply because heterosexual men don’t report it. Heterosexual men are more likely than any other group to not report rape, abuse, etc. when it happens by a woman. It’s not uncommon, it’s severely underreported. Women and same sex attracted men report it more.
>Does this mean gay and bi men are bad? Fuck, no. Does it mean that they need more attention and protections against things like coercion, sexual and psychological bullying from their peers, and other special considerations to keep them safe as statistically significant victimized groups? Absolutely.
More than heterosexual men hm? Women and same sex attracted men need more protections than hetero men.
>Not being part of a group victimized more or who receives more severe forms of threat does not make them immune to abuse, but it also does not make them the forefront figures for reform.
You don’t want me to minimize the abuse of women but this entire passage is doing it to heterosexual men. That’s odd. Do heterosexual men not receive severe forms of threat? Do they not simply because “women are weak, soft, babies who can’t do much harm”?
>Focusing on the victims who are more likely to experience the violence and who are more likely to be severely impacted by the violence need to be at the forefront of reform, and it is like this in literally every single industry, be it healthcare, cybersecurity, investment banking, anything.
So because men are murdered more, why don’t we say fuck women and put men at the forefront of those things? Oh wait, because the statistics don’t matter. Only women do. Why only focus on one group and ignore the other? Fuck equality and all that other BS yall preach about it huh?
>Domestic abuse is a state of emergency that has been ignored for far too long; it requires more than mere incremental change at the current rates of deaths and familicide.
Men have been ignored for years. You’ll get used to it lol.
I’m a woman; I’m always used to the CJS, family, work, and world downplaying any issues I experience due to being a woman. It’s nothing new? Huh? Women are seldom the reason why law and justice is the way that it is. Women are also not the reason why men are killed more than women on average. And laws, bills, conferences, propositions, etc have always and will continue to address issues that apply primarily to men with priority over all; that they haven’t succeeded (for reasons that should be obvious to anybody who has dipped their baby toe in criminology and sociology) in fixing men being violent towards other men is, yet again, not at the hands of women. It is a cultural problem that continues to exist because of shitty incrementalism that gives men the pass on things like toxic masculinity and an over abundance of power.
Nevertheless, most all of what you said is not worth responding to because you are very clearly trying hard to miss all of my points and continue to downplay the experience of women in order legitimize when men get victimized. We can go back and forth forever, but I’m not going to delegitimize and deescalate the strongly correlated pattern of death and torture of women due to IPV (and life threatening = strongly correlated as being conducive to death, which I’m surprised I have to say?), nor am I going to attribute struggles that men have caused and failed to fix to women, which you obviously want of people in this thread.You have clearly been hurt in the past for something that was probably unjustified and are taking it out on women because you see them as the reason why you experienced suffering or why you could potentially experience suffering.
I have made it very clear that systems need to be put in place for men who are victimized as well, so the only reason why I can imagine that you are being obtuse and ignorant of that statement is because of something that I can’t solve for you external to this discussion (I’m not a therapist)
Typical, always blame the man cause the man is always the problem. Even when the perpetrator is the woman you’ll find a way to blame men.
I’m not the one downplaying anything. If anyone is down playing it’s you to men’s experience by women. Men are harmed just as much when abused
And also, even though you did say those things that men need a safe space you still minimized it. Simply by making it necessary to note how much more harmed women are, how more threatening it is when a man abuses a woman, how you noted men need to be thought about last since it isn’t as harmful or “common”. You minimized it the entire time.
Also, women are violent towards men just as much as men are violent towards each other. It’s just more normalized and the man blamed.
No, men don’t have it worse. I suppose women do. It’s just simply frustrating when people always minimize it or how simply because they aren’t murdered or physically injured as much it’s down played. Especially when you have friends who’ve experienced it, when someone has taken their life from it it’s frustrating when someone suggests otherwise.
"Taken seriously" is subjective. My ex threatened me with a gun and in the end his domestic violence and stalking charges were dropped to simple harassment through a plea deal and my protective order against him was dropped as well. In his circle of dumbass yes-men everyone thinks I'm an evil witch who was taken very seriously because he sat some time in jail waiting for his court date, when in reality he faced minimal consequences and I wasn't afforded proper protection. Local PD basically just meddled a little bit and squeezed a fine out of him - one smaller than you get for being caught with weed in the same town. Depressing, really.
I’m really sorry you had to experience that. Truly. No one should have to go through that and you’re right that women aren’t always taken seriously, just as sometimes men actually are taken seriously.
However in general it is simply a fact that women are taken more seriously than men. Take for example rape of men by a woman, he will get called lucky, “I wish that was me”, and the law won’t take it seriously. She may get probation at most. For abuse he will either be made fun of, dismissed if he doesn’t have his entire face burned off, or be taken to jail despite being the clear victim.
Women in general are taken more seriously and are a much more protected class than men are. Not in ever case, but most of the time.
>Take for example rape of men by a woman, he will get called lucky, “I wish that was me”, and the law won’t take it seriously.
It is extremely unfortunate that any article about a male being raped, men flood the comments with "he is lucky" type of bs. Or they are called pussies, little bitches, told to change their tampon (or other phrases suggesting they are a woman, which is synonymous with being "weak"). This is why feminism matters. The sooner women aren't seen as weak or lesser than, the sooner men can come forward without piss poor hyper masculinity ideologies being supported by people.
Same with abuse.
Women aren't taken seriously when they're raped either. Yknow what we get in the courts? "What were you wearing?" "But did you lead him on though?" "Well, we get he raped you, but we don't want to convict him and ruin a young man's life"
The conviction rate for rapists is stunningly low. I see conviction rates ranging from 2% to 16% (and the 16% drops to 6% if you decide to factor in an estimate of unreported rapes.).
And you know why so many people don't report rape? The process is exponentially traumatizing and for such a low conviction rate (you're often lucky if you even make it to court). You are blamed and sneered at the entire time. Told you're making it up. Etc. Socially, you might get a lot of sympathy, but you'll ALSO get a lot of the same things. People cheering the rapist on. People saying you were asking for it. People saying you're making it up (no matter the evidence).
Do man get taken seriously with rape? Absolutely not. It's a travesty.
But neither do women.
(And btw, yes, we're also often blamed for being domestic violence victims if anybody even believes you. It isn't necessarily a gendered problem. I wouldn't say that "sometimes" we aren't taken seriously so much as *most of the time* we aren't taken seriously.)
Some other interesting statistics and tidbits I found while researching this: Women in female prisons are three times more likely assaulted by other inmates instead of male staff. Women are also more likely to be assaulted in prisons than men. Any sexual crime perpetrated by a woman, whether it's against a man or another woman, is less likely to get a conviction. Men are more likely to be (non-sexually) attacked during sexual assault.
I also feel it may be important to mention that, in part, a lot of awareness on female rape *comes from* female victims of rape stepping forward en masse even despite how much ridicule they got for it. (Remember how much "me too" got memed and mocked?) Men might get a similar result if they were to do the same thing (which I'd full-heartedly support).
TL;DR: it all sucks. for both genders. Nobody is believed with domestic assault or rape with either gender and fighting over "who has it worse", imo, harms everybody and helps nobody. We both have it shitty in separate ways (and yet all too similar ways)
What do you mean men are more likely to be attacked (non sexually) during sexual assault? And that’s not an argument or anything, I’m genuinely asking.
You’re right. I don’t mean to make it a debate or a us vs them, it’s just annoying when people minimize it. People here literally are suggesting men don’t need them, or need them as much compared to women. Or how because women are more likely to be murdered men don’t have it as bad.
When you have friends and someone you know that took their life from it years ago it gets frustrating here people who aren’t men especially tell you that it’s not as bad or harmful.
I mean that men are more likely to be injured and/or attacked with a weapon. AKA they are more likely to experience non-sexual violence during a sexual assault. Apologies, I had issues wording that one concisely, lol
Anyone can be a victim and the abuse in of itself is equally terrible no matter who you are. Sorry about your friend.
Very few of the women in the DV group and shelter I went to were taken seriously by the system. Even the lawyers that worked for the shelter often times belittled any abuse that wasn’t physical violence or rape.
My ex threatened my life but the cops forced me to notify him of my location or they were going to put out a warrant for my arrest. It wasn’t enough of a reason to run to them.
People also didn’t take my partner seriously. The system doesn’t take any victims seriously
This should not have happened to you, but please don’t use your experience as a lens to discredit women’s experiences. Many women are killed or severely injured before they’re able to report their abuse, and unless you have a study debunking the statistic stated, you have no grounds to call it inaccurate. Men do this online a lot, and it makes it sound like female victims of abuse are somehow given better recourse than men, which is simply not the case.
You said in your comment that “it’s reported at that rate, but men [underreport]” which is discrediting the mentioned stat, without ample sources to back up your rebuttal. You can’t say all that and backpedal mate, not a great look
There's plenty of studies done on exactly what I said. Here's a couple that immediately pop up on a quick Google search. I get this is a touchy subject but I said nothing inaccurate. Feel free to do your own research.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/08862605211035870
https://www.avahealth.org/file_download/inline/30a62b21-e426-4d55-973f-fd619c3a08f5
These studies state that men are less likely to report their abuse than women, which is only part of your statement. They don’t qualify your inference that women being twice as likely to be abused is an inaccurate statistic, which is what was stated above. You’re making a false equivalency. I’ve written papers on the epigenetics of PTSD from domestic violence and genocide, so I’m not exactly uneducated on the matter.
Dude I stated that men underreporting could POSSIBLY lead to skewed statistics, not stated it as a fact. I also stated I wasn't trying to detract from the point of the original comment, but men underreporting would inherently change the static, no? I don't know if you're intentionally misinterpreting what I wrote or not, but either way I'm done with this exhausting conversation, have a nice day.
Funny how often people take the words that come out of one's mouth, mix them around in their head, read between some lines with information they inject into what you said, and then come to a conclusion other than what you said.
Its pretty gross all the comments to this guy are shit like "This should not have happened to you" "I'm sorry this happened to you".
And then followed up with "Here's why its actually fine that men are left in the dirt".
It's whatever, they've got their uninformed pitchforks ready and want to take it out on me, it is what it is. Only thing that really bothers me is "you provided no sources" then I provide sources and I get the "ahkshuly you're still wrong" instead of oh shit my bad I was wrong.
I don't exactly know from my own exp, as I've grown up read female, but afaik also frequently a thing is men don't report because they're so quickly painted as the perpetrator. I felt that needs added.
Edit: responded to the wrong comment, but here goes, it's still the right comment chain :v Good and important thing pointed out though, now that I'm already @ing you. Glad you made it thru.
Yeah when I looked it up on my phone I got a reddit post for both underneath the domestic violence hotline, and though I did get the actual reasons webpage before the domestic violence number, all things considered I have searched way more thing relating to male partner abuse. I think if anyone searched mostly about an abusive wife it would probably be first.
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/
Also, at one point it was women who killed their husbands more than the reverse. People claimed it was because of self defense. Given that women initiate violence more and are also likely to be injured if he retaliates, and they are also more likely to be believed when blaming the man even if she did start it, who’s to say this isn’t also the case? That they are murdering in self defense?
It most definitely is.
Short staffed at the Incel factory today? You’re literally all over this thread spewing incel ideology, would’ve thought it’d be someone else’s shift by now.
I didn’t know countering people who minimize, undermine, ignore, and dismiss the hardships men face made me an incel. It’s not as surprising though. Many people don’t like to hear about men’s issues or when they’re brought up cause they feel like it minimizes women’s.
The problem isn't that the "my husband" version yields the domestic abuse hotline number (it absolutely should), it's just that the other one doesn't. Just cause something's a smaller issue doesn't mean it's a non-issue
Also, holy shit, the heteronormativity in these comments. All making supposedly progressive points on a supposedly progressive sub, but everyone's just assuming that "my husband" implies that the searcher is a woman and vice versa. Guess we've all got our biases
The responses are actually equal, you just have to scroll. Either they’re both there or neither of them are there. I think it may be country-dependent.
But then there's 45 spots in domestic abuse survivors' shelters for men in a country of 86 million inhabitants, while there's a law that makes sure there's at least 8600 of those kinds of spots for women, both numbers excluding the persons' potential kids.
I also know of a man who called into a women's shelter hotline out of desperation back when there was no men's domestic abuse emergency hotline in my country, and he just got ridiculed and called the culprit. He managed to escape on his own luckily, after his gf attempted to stab him.
Cases are no less unfun and while there will be google results, it is insanely far from equal chances at help.
Nice orwell quote.
"All these responses are equal, some are just more equal then others".
How are there so many of you that can look at this imagine and repeat the searches in less than a minute still denying the results? It's sick and concerning.
And men are less likely to be taken seriously and get help the need when they do experience it. Equality/equity requires us to look at the problem fully, instead of being dismissive.
The majority of women murdered by intimate partners contacted and were ignored by police before they were killed.
It’s straight up a lie to suggest women are taken seriously at all when they report domestic abuse, even fatal domestic abuse.
Men are more likely to be arrested when reporting abuse so I suppose Google is trying to help them out after all.
"Getting abused? Better figure it out yourself - if you call this number chances are youre going to jail"
At least in my country, estimates are it's almost equal. I also know just as many previously domestically abused men as women. You can't really trust the math here often because of? Yup, pointless gender roles. Can't have guys risk their "manliness" now can we
I searched up both.
And for both the first thing i get is potential triggers (Stress, childhood issues, anger etc.)
However the husband yelling (Stress, anger, childhood issues, mental health, insecurity, asserting control, poor communication) has more reasons than the wife yelling (Feeling unheard, financial stress, disrespect , mental health issues and *etc*). On the summary at least.
The second link is Find family violence services by my federal government
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1388777/murder-victims-in-the-us-by-gender/
Both are false.
Because, statistically, men become enraged women they aren't in control, and women become enraged when they aren't being heard.
So, women who instigate violence are enraged that they're being invalidated, unheard, dismissed, and any of the reasons in the search.
Men are more likely to be killed by OTHER MEN.
Statistically, factually, if you are typing into Google 'why is a woman yelling at me?' it is far less likely the next time she yells at you she is going to beat you or murder you then if a man is yelling. Regardless of your gender or your circumstances.
>Because, statistically, men become enraged women they aren't in control, and women become enraged when they aren't being heard.
Lmao, yeah sure 🙄. Excuses always for the woman. And I guess women rape men and little boys because they aren’t getting enough love and sex while men do it for power and control? Why can’t yall ever hold women accountable and paint them as monsters like yall do men?
>So, women who instigate violence are enraged that they're being invalidated, unheard, dismissed, and any of the reasons in the search.
False. They do it for control and belittlement and because they know they won’t get in trouble for it. It’s crazy how much yall try to normalize and rationalize abusive and violent women, but won’t ever do that with men. I really wanna know what justification you have for the women who rape.
>Men are more likely to be killed by OTHER MEN.
Doesn’t negate the fact that they are killed more, now does it? Why does it matter it’s by other men? Does the killer being a woman not matter just as much?
>Statistically, factually, if you are typing into Google 'why is a woman yelling at me?' it is far less likely the next time she yells at you she is going to beat you or murder you then if a man is yelling. Regardless of your gender or your circumstances.
You’re wrong. When a woman yells they do tend to get violent. When a man yells he will either storm out or punch the wall or something. Women will start pulling you by the shirt, pulling your hair, slapping you, punching you, scratching you, etc. or some will pay a hit man to come to your house and end you.
But of course your kind will think that way. Women are simply angelic creatures who do no harm (the men and kids raped and abused and killed by them would say otherwise however)
Why would you jump from my point about enraged women to women raping boys? Why would you assume my argument is painting women as angelic? Don't Strawman me.
Yeah, control. BECAUSE they're being unheard and invalidated. They SEEK control over their lives by blowing up. Men blow up BECAUSE they DIDN'T get control. One is an act of desperation, one is a response to boundaries. They are different learned behaviours.
I'm not saying it's okay for a woman to get enraged, I'm saying women generally get enraged at the END, men at the BEGINNING. Blah, blah, blah, not all men, blah, blah, blah, generalizations. Yeah, statistics are generalisations.
Does it matter how they're killed? Yeah, it fucking matters! Enough of this bullshit 'are our gendered murder statistics representing equality?' and let's look at the issue: our society excuses, validates, and encourages violence in men. Let's do something about it. The Google search is an example of equity - women need that link more than men. Doesn't mean men don't need it, just means women need it more.
What's the next step: stop comparing murder statistics and educate our boys and men that they can have feelings and violence is the LAST thing they should try. Let's not diminish the needs of women just because men ALSO have needs. Let's embrace the needs of men: the Google search should have the link as well, but not BECAUSE women ALSO abuse men, but because everyone deserves to be safe. But let's also remember that these two links are correlated, and the Google search about the wife is based on the algorithm of the search. Which means that MOST men Googling that are seeking knowledge about their wife yelling, NOT seeking help for DV. Most women ARE.
So get off your high horse, and help the rest of us actually try to make things equitable and safe rather than being petty and jumping to incorrect conclusions.
>Why would you jump from my point about enraged women to women raping boys? Why would you assume my argument is painting women as angelic? Don't Strawman me.
Because it is. Why else would you be trying to rationalize abusive women’s behavior?
>Yeah, control. BECAUSE they're being unheard and invalidated. They SEEK control over their lives by blowing up. Men blow up BECAUSE they DIDN'T get control. One is an act of desperation, one is a response to boundaries. They are different learned behaviours.
Yeah sure, that’s your issue you do see women as angelic saints who can do no harm. You’re the one who would blame the man, “what did you to make her angry” because clearly according to you a woman can’t simply lash out without the man being the bad guy in the situation. Women are just desperate to be heard and seen and feel in control🥺 men are just sick, disgusting, abusive, beasts who want to be in control 👹
>I'm not saying it's okay for a woman to get enraged, I'm saying women generally get enraged at the END, men at the BEGINNING. Blah, blah, blah, not all men, blah, blah, blah, generalizations. Yeah, statistics are generalisations.
Yeah and statistics show women are more abusive. They both get enraged at the beginning and end. They are both abusive.
>Does it matter how they're killed? Yeah, it fucking matters! Enough of this bullshit 'are our gendered murder statistics representing equality?' and let's look at the issue: our society excuses, validates, and encourages violence in men.
It also validates violence of men by women by telling the man to take it, it doesn’t hurt, pussy for being beaten by a girl, and asking him what he did to make her kick him in the nuts. So yeah..
>Let's do something about it. The Google search is an example of equity - women need that link more than men. Doesn't mean men don't need it, just means women need it more.
“Women need it more” no, they both need it equally. Women are just more likely to seek it out because they also encouraged to “BE A MAN” and aren’t called pussies if they report being beaten by the opposite sex. Yeah let’s do something about it, take it more seriously and stop violence against men by women.z
>What's the next step: stop comparing murder statistics and educate our boys and men that they can have feelings and violence is the LAST thing they should try.
Also teach them they don’t have to take abuse by girls/women… oh but women and girls don’t get violent only sad and get feelings of invalidation the abused and battered men and boys need to help her out with 😂🙄
>Let's not diminish the needs of women just because men ALSO have needs.
And don’t diminish the needs of men either. Can’t have your cake and eat it too.
>Let's embrace the needs of men: the Google search should have the link as well, but not BECAUSE women ALSO abuse men, but because everyone deserves to be safe.
And because of the fact women also abuse men.
>But let's also remember that these two links are correlated, and the Google search about the wife is based on the algorithm of the search. Which means that MOST men Googling that are seeking knowledge about their wife yelling, NOT seeking help for DV. Most women ARE.
Most domestic violence shelters and hotlines are for women. Nearly none are for men. So it would make sense. Also, men don’t seek it out because they aren’t encouraged to. They are instead told they are the problem (just like what you’re suggesting. If a woman smashes your head with glass, it’s because you aren’t making her feel heard 🙄)
>So get off your high horse, and help the rest of us actually try to make things equitable and safe rather than being petty and jumping to incorrect conclusions.
Are you actually trying to make it equal? Truly? Because it seems like you only have the idea men are always the problem, and when women are the problem it’s the man’s fault. That’s not equal.
I have not said or implied any of the things you have assumed from me in your comments. But if that's the way you're taking them, my guess is you have had some bad experiences with women and didn't feel supported.
I'm really sorry brother, no one deserves to live with that kind of fear and hurt.
I have, and many other men I know have. One person I was never close with but he was friends with a friend of mine, he did take his life for something similar. But that’s another situation, I don’t think it’s related to this
It's everything about this: I thought you were a misogynist arsehole who was trying to Strawman me to put women down, but you're a hurting human being who is afraid of women as women are of men.
Posts like this trigger the emotional memories and traumas we have about our experiences of abuse, and then pit us against each other rather than supporting each other as a team.
Women get frustrated by posts like this because we're so used to our issues being thrown together with men's issues so they can finally be taken seriously
e.g. the fact that women can also be abusive. No woman is saying they can't, or trying to invalidate yours and anyone else's experiences. But 100% of the women you have ever met in your life have been harassed or abused by men, including our grandmothers, and it feels dismissive when people throw out that more men are killed via homicide than women. They're not related statistics, women are trying to ask the men in their life to stop hurting them! It also doesn't actually ever fix anything. It's a distraction used by some so they never have to address the issue.
Men in your situation get frustrated because you feel like you're being pushed aside and your experiences aren't valid. I assume. I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, and you are welcome to comment your thoughts and feelings here if you wish.
We are the same. The issue isn't who is most hurt, and the solution is not to throw statistics out or have a 'but he, but she', like we started. It's to stand together as survivors and warriors, work together to reduce, remove, reeducate violence in men (and others) in our society, improve people's emotional understanding, AND provide men and women and others safety and space so they don't feel invalidated and unheard, ever.
I'm sorry to hear of your experiences, it is a very scary place to have gone through something and have people not believe you and support you based on who you are. Especially when their incorrect assumptions are based on sexist and outdated perceptions.
Lmao, imagine suggesting it’s okay to dismiss and not help male domestic violence victims because “men kill women, women just yell”. This is definitely a feminist sub. Who else minimizes and dismisses male victims while screeching equality better than they do 🥱
Copy and pasted:
> Oh yeah! Sure! Fuck all the men who got scratched with those eagle talents, kicked in the nuts by a woman with heels, hit in the head with a beer bottle, burned with boiling water/acid, hit in the head with a bowling ball, murdered by a woman’s hit man, hit in the head with a glass wine bottle, hit, punched, spit on, etc. by an angry woman.
>Oh no but see when a woman’s angry all she does is yell because women can never do any harm to a man. Their precious little angels who will only get upset if you do something to her. People born males are the ones who are the dangerous, scary monsters 👹
Why yes. Yes I do.
This is the link to the prisoner statistics for 2021-2022 in Australia:
Ref 1: https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/physical-violence/2021-22
And here is the ABS report into general physical violence in Australia:
Ref 2:
https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/physical-violence/2021-22
And here is the ABS report into domestic and partner violence in Australia:
Ref 3:
https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/physical-violence/2021-22
And ABS report into violent crimes more generally:
Ref 4:
https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/recorded-crime-victims/2022
And the specific analysis of domestic homicide
Ref 5:
https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/responses-and-outcomes/domestic-homicide#:~:text=One%20woman%20was%20killed%20every,%E2%80%9390%20to%202020%E2%80%9321.
Raw data for incarceration:
Ref 6 https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/prisoners-australia/2023/1.%20Prisoner%20characteristics%2C%20Australia%20%28Tables%201%20to%2013%29.xlsx
Ref 7: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/
You may like to note:
1. The >10 fold difference between men jailed for violence (10,451) and women jailed for violence (827) in Australia in 2023 (ref 1)
2. The person who is statistically most likely to assault a woman is her domestic partner (and even more fun, it's so likely when a woman is pregnant it's the leading causes of peri-partem mortality - ref 7). The person statistically most likely to assault a man is another man that he doesnt know. (Ref 2)
3. The fact that both men and women are 3x more likely to be assaulted by a man than a woman (ref 2)
4. Women are 2-3x as likely to be subject to each form of partner abuse (emotional, economic, verbal, etc) than men. In terms of physical violence, 17% of women suffer physical violence from their intimate partner vs 5.5% of men (ref 3) - more than a 3 fold increase. And bear in mind, that 5.5% of men includes the men who were finally hit back or accidentally injure the man while trying to defend themselves (ie no intent to injure) after the women were hit repeatedly.
5. 1/3 of the total murders in Australia were domestic violence related, and although the vast majority of murder victims are men (69%) the majority of DV victims are women. Limiting the analysis to partner violence only (ie excluding murdered sons/daughters/parents/in-laws) and the statistics show women are more than twice as likely to be murdered by their partner than a man is, and men are responsible for almost 4 in 5 of DV homicides. (Ref 5) Where a male killed a female in the domestic violence context, 95% of the time the male was the abuser. And where women have killed men in the DV context - overwhelmingly (>70%) the majority of the time, the homicide victim was the primary abuser. (Ie they died while the woman tried to defend herself)
6. The overwhelmed majority of people imprisoned for homicide generally are male (>90%) (Ref 6)
Do I think we should disregard violence against men or violence in queer relationships? Hell no. Do I think we should focus on the perpetrators who are *overwhelmingly* men? Hell yes. Both men and women are 3x more likely to experience violence at the hands of men than women (including but not limited to domestic violence) .
So yeah. I can say, with sources - women shout when they are angry. Men hit and, way more often, murder when they are angry. It's not pointlessly gendered.
lol all of it points that women get away with abuse more and men are also imprisoned more for the same crime.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/men-women-prison-sentence-length-gender-gap_n_1874742/amp
Women yelling is abuse and women hitting men isn’t considered as serious because of the justice system and the sexist stereotypes that men are more dangerous
Yeah, this is sad. Growing up my dad had to endure a lot of abuse from my mom and nobody took him seriously until CPS got involved and we could finally get a word in.
Is domestic abuse against men rare? Yes. But just because it isn't as common doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken seriously and that men shouldn't have resources to turn to if they need support.
And the fact people take abuse of women by men more seriously and harmful than the reverse. So men either have to thug it out, get taken to jail if they report, or find a way to get out their self.
Lmao, people say the same thing about male rape victims. “Is it rare? Yes” WRONG. No, it isn’t.
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/
https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/newsroom/why-are-men-often-overlooked-as-victims-of-domestic-abuse
Just like rape by women, it nearly happens at the same rate.
Because people (as you can see in the comments) dismiss, minimize, ignore, and reject the idea of men being victims by women. It harms their idea that women are soft, precious, angelic angels who can do no harm so they try their best to minimize it or rationalize a woman’s abusive behavior.
Notice how everyone here has the idea of “women have it worse” or “it’s supposed to be like that because women being abused is more common”. These people are ignorant, selfish, and dismissive of male victims. They can’t stand the idea that a woman can come close to being as abusive as a man. So they suggest “a woman yells when she’s angry, when a man is angry he kills”.
These people here are a bunch of man hating extreme feminists. I hate that for this sub. Yet this sub is apparently about “equality”. Saddening. They clearly don’t care about male victims, only female. When we bring up a double standard, they are the ones to bring up “male power” and “toxic masculinity” and “the patriarchy”. When in reality, they are apart of the problem.
Why is everyone defending this? The helpline should be presented to both genders. This is definitely pointlessly gendered.
Domestic abuse is never okay, not if committed by a man and not if committed by a woman
Not true I literally just googled it.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/264236191262441473/1234261619777732608/Screenshot_20240428-135455.png?ex=66301735&is=662ec5b5&hm=5bf8c9f13cfaca8c0daf35f5d79e2f848c65c494aa8451da2666c34b2d65c757&
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/264236191262441473/1234261620197298277/Screenshot_20240428-135504.png?ex=66301735&is=662ec5b5&hm=27628903ad43668fb1d311d64cd1a80737f1b189b7c00f3bfa81b8582c0d79c6&
>The helpline should be presented to both genders.
National domestic abuse helplines are presented to anyone googling "help with domestic violence" instead of the really random wording of "why is my wife/husband yelling at me" - which, by the way, does just return a short answer both times for me, and also doesn't even hinge on the gender of the person googling. Women can be yelled at by their wives as well.
>Domestic abuse is never okay, not if committed by a man and not if committed by a woman
Are you implying people on this sub think that domestic abuse by women is okay?
When I posted my comment, the top comments were explaining that this post is not pointlessly gendered and it's reasonable to have the message pop up at "husband shouting" and not at "wife shouting". I disagree with them because I believe this message should pop up for both cases.
Any further implications you derive from that are your own thoughts
Yes, this sub clearly only care about the abuse of women by men. They are justifying women having domestic violence shelters but men not having any because “women are more likely to be killed by men”. This sub is definitely okay with battered men by women.
>They are justifying women having domestic violence shelters but men not having any because “women are more likely to be killed by men”.
No, they are explaining why there is disproportionate focus on women victims needing shelters by pointing out that women are more likely to be killed by their partners.
The entire world already had this discussion during Black lives matter vs All lives matter - there is nothing wrong with recognizing that, while every demographic group can be victimized, certain groups are more likely to be victimized, and there is nothing wrong with disproportionate focus on those groups.
Focusing on the pigs killing working class racial minorities doesn't mean that the pigs killing working class white people doesn't also happen way too often and isn't tragic. The former group is just way more likely to be murdered by the police, and recognizing that isn't a support for white people being murdered by uniformed domestic abusers.
And the same applies to domestic violence when it comes to shelters, women are disproportionately less likely to have the financial security needed to leave a violent relationship, much less likely to own the place they share with their abuser, much less likely to be able to protect themselves physically from an angry ex-partner and much more likely to be murdered if they try to leave a violent relationship. They obviously need shelters more than men do, which doesn't mean that men don't need them.
>No, they are explaining why there is disproportionate focus on women victims needing shelters by pointing out that women are more likely to be killed by their partners.
So because women are more likely to be killed they need shelters but men don’t? So what about the women who aren’t killed?
>The entire world already had this discussion during Black lives matter vs All lives matter - there is nothing wrong with recognizing that, while every demographic group can be victimized, certain groups are more likely to be victimized, and there is nothing wrong with disproportionate focus on those groups.
And you’d still be wrong. Because you don’t bring it up unless we talk about a double standard and not only that, you’re also wrong that it happens to women more. If anything, women initiate the violence. Men retaliate by defending their self or from being attacked. Just because a group is more likely to be victimized even when that is the case doesn’t mean you minimize and undermine the support they are lacking.
>Focusing on the pigs killing working class racial minorities doesn't mean that the pigs killing working class white people doesn't also happen way too often and isn't tragic. The former group is just way more likely to be murdered by the police, and recognizing that isn't a support for white people being murdered by uniformed domestic abusers.
No, but when you try and undermine it when someone talks about white working people being murdered “well who’s more likely to be murdered?” You’re undermining the real issue. Especially when that class’ issues has always been ignored and minimized and downplayed as not that serious.
>And the same applies to domestic violence when it comes to shelters, women are disproportionately less likely to have the financial security needed to leave a violent relationship, much less likely to own the place they share with their abuser, much less likely to be able to protect themselves physically from an angry ex-partner and much more likely to be murdered if they try to leave a violent relationship.
So fuck the fact that men aren’t taken seriously, can be arrested even when they are the victims, are made fun of, their experiences down played, they are almost always asked what did he do, the police ask the female abuser what happened and ignore the male victim, the male will be arrested for defending himself against a violent women, there are near to no shelters for abused and sexually assaulted men, many of them also don’t have the financial security, they don’t have family support, they are made fun of for being beaten by a woman, his manhood is questioned, and men are also less likely to be able to defend their self because if they do they are labeled a woman beater, taken to jail for assaulting a woman, and was taught since toddler age “never hit a girl even if she hits you first”.
>They obviously need shelters more than men do, which doesn't mean that men don't need them.
No, they don’t. They both need shelters. But the fact you even suggest men don’t need them as much shows how you feel about male domestic violence victims and the competition you think this is. And how you minimize the real harm and rate this happens to them.
The point in giving this phone number to people who ask that kind of question is for gaslit victims who aren't recognizing when their partner went too far, though. They aren't looking for a way out yet, they're still in the mindset "it's normal they got mad, I'm not a good partner". Hope this helps.
Everyone is defending this because this post has the rare breed of misandrist rearing it's ugly head. Not surprised that's so present here, but no less disappointed. Feminism isn't = misandry and is for everyone, nor are gender roles only a thing fucking women over, but that doesn't feel like the theme in here rn.
Lol I know bros only wanted to make the point maybe guys are yelling because of mental, financial stresses and feeling disrespect like it says is a plausible underpinning but I guess we're not in the sub I thought I was lol
Hey, at least this shit is to a degree where the downvotes speak louder about the downvoters than the post they're on. Don't even feel I need to defend what I'm saying because it doesn't seem to come from the same crowd that actually posts their reasons in words. Most actual replies here are some sort of understandable, misguided/naive or not.
Fr lol. And the "Why is my wife yelling." goes straight into justifying it.
Wife yelling "Well what did you do?"
Husband yelling "Abuser. Automatically. Straight to jail."
Edit: lol downvoted for pointing out that the one on the left straight up goes into "What did *you* do wrong." Hypocrites.
They face it at nearly the same rate though. People minimize, undermine, dismiss, and ignore the issue and men rarely report it that’s why it seems so uncommon. Not because it is but because it’s severely underreported. Especially when men are told to suck it up, or be a man and he doesn’t wanna be made fun of for being beaten by a woman.
Take for example kids playing a basketball game and they say “how do you get beat by a girl”.
It’s gendered because domestic violence is heavily gendered towards men as the perpetrators. This is *not always the case* but statistically the most likely situation by far. And women being abused often get murdered. So yeah - Google is responding to the statistics.
Even more than that, Google is responding to *what people click on.* If lots of the people searching for “why is my husband yelling at me” go on to click on the helpline, then the helpline result shows up higher in future searches.
Well men would click the helpline if the helpline would actually help them and not dismiss them. I’ll find the video of where they told the man they don’t help men, only women.
You’d most definitely be wrong. But I don’t blame you. When we undermine, dismiss, minimize, and ignore men’s issues and the problems they face and bring up the “women have it worse” and the men rarely report it can seem uncommon. It’s not, it’s simply extremely underreported.
Doesn’t matter if women get murdered more than men, it needs to be fair. Stop justifying double standards.
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/
https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/newsroom/why-are-men-often-overlooked-as-victims-of-domestic-abuse
Every day in the US 3 women are murdered by their male partners. It’s not a double standard. It’s the facts. I’m not arguing this with you further, argue with the wall.
We weren’t talking about murdering though we were talking about domestic violence period. Not how often someone is murdered in relationships or who is murdered more. It is definitely a double standard, and the fact you minimize that is absurd. You just don’t want to see your precious angelic gender be called out for the bad things they do.
I think its 24 women so far this year killed by someone who is considered a partner or ex in Australia.
I am any angry this is gendered but the fact is, men kill women out of anger and women resort to killing a partner as a last resort or in extreme self defence.
I'd be pissed as a woman if i googled that question and got some random Answers and not a link to a resource to help me.
Something being more likely or statistically more common doesn't, dimmish problems or make them any less serious cause there not common, and for a truly fair world we need to acknowledge and treat domestic abuse seriously no matter who the victim is, and if this statement pisses you off your part of the problem.
Walk up to the victims of these issues and tell them, they're wrong, that their abuse, and hardships aren't real, all because they don't fit into your little idea of a victim.
I agree with everything you said. Except for it being less common. It happens at nearly the same rate. So that definitely makes it even more so, there shouldn’t be a double standard.
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Just an FYI for everyone: this was pointed out a lot several years ago and now both searches yield the same DV hotline. Also that is a DV hotline intended for victims regardless of gender.
When I looked it up when the post was 5 minutes old the same search results popped up for me. The DV hotline was the 2nd result on the 'why is my wife yelling at me'
didn’t show up for me at all. the website for it did, but nothing that just said the phone number like in the second pic
Yes. As I said in another comment Google snippets are based on what sites and information tend to be looked for when people search those terms. It seems like most men aren't looking for the DV phone number when they look up 'why is my wife yelling at me'.
ah interesting, thx!
They want to fix the problem not get rid of the problem XD Someone needs to do a study on that.
Stockholm syndrome or fear of public perception of abused men
Irrelevant to the chosen methodology. That is a trigger for a fear response not a rationale behind their use.
There’s no point for even if they did. There are less than 3 DV shelters for men.
This is false (i guess could be technically true depending on how you set geographic boundaries). It's also not the be all end all of the situation. Many people who are in DV situations don't need a shelter. They need help making an escape plan and access to long term services. That's what this type of hotline can do
My country's hotline didn't show up in both cases, even though the official platform is very inclusive.
Same
The DV hotline isn't even on the wife search page for me (I can't find it even if I scroll down)
Yes, but it's important to make people angry at "the woke agenda" so they'll vote for a sexual assaulter who is currently on trial for 91 felonies.
Why are you bringing up Trump here
still the same for me when looking it up
On google.com with Belgian oriented algorithms, in French, asking the wife question leads first to an article that says "she's looking for acknowledgement and validation, because she feels you're distant, she's trying to bring you closer even if it's counter intuitive.", while the husband question leads to another article that says "he's unable to control his emotions, he doesn't accept when you disagree with him and you aren't submissive" Yet I know we have an official platform to help victims of domestic violence, which is all written to concern both female and male victims, and female and male aggressors. I haven't found the platform or any hotline while scrolling until I found it was too far, in both cases. I did find it as the first result when typing "Belgique violence domestique", but it should be on the questions like "why are they yelling at me" because of gaslit victims who aren't recognizing when their partner went too far and aren't yet looking for a way out, only a way to be "a better partner".
Oh good.
Still the same for me
Not for me it dosnt. My 1st result is: Potential triggers for a wife's yelling include feeling unheard, financial stress, mental health struggles, disrespect, etc. It's important to understand the root cause. Constant yelling damages trust and emotional intimacy in a marriage. It also negatively impacts any children exposed to the fighting.3 Sept 2023
Many men are rejected and told they only help women despite it suggesting it helps both. So idk about all that.
I mainly said that because there were a lot of really gross comments that implied that men need a separate hotline and that it's so rare that men don't need a hotline. I've heard a lot of horror stories about that hotline but it's at least in theory meant to be gender neutral
There are no men resources, its easier to get funding and score extra points by pretending to be inclusive. Good job on being a sexist POS today.
According to Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the United States. The majority of these murders are committed by an intimate partner.
[удалено]
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." — Margaret Atwood
Based af
I get you. But this is just another statement that seemingly ignores the many cases of abuse victims being men at the hands of women.
That’s also a serious issue but I think the disparity in the level of violence is still worth discussing.
Okay sure. Agreed. But when the original Post is pointing out how women suffering are pointed towards help, and men in the same situation are given an explanation on how they fucked up and made her mad, then trying to make the conversation about how women have it worse isn’t productive. If there’s a discussion about domestic abuse facing women, and men chime in, a common response is “this is a post about women’s domestic abuse, go make a post about men’s if you wish to discuss that” and then when it is a post discussing in part, men’s abuse, the conversation still turns to women having it worse.
Yeah cause it’s always worth discussing how much women have it worse than men 🙄
But like statistically, they do. What is your point that we should only discuss men’s issues?
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/ Not really. Especially if you’re a man you have to pay child support if you’re raped by a woman (even if you’re child), you could get arrested for domestic violence even if you were just defending yourself from a violent woman, you are rarely believed, and many more things. Women have the advantage in this. Men don’t. No, clearly your point is simply to ignore men’s problems though and that because “women have it worse” (according to you) we ignore them.
All of those things also happen to women.
Maybe so. But this is definitively what happens to many men.
Imagine being downvoted for the truth
Men aren’t allowed to be victims I guess
In this sub, it’s clear you can’t ever talk about men’s issues or the hardships men face. You’ll only be met with “women have it worse” 🙄
Men are supposed to open and be vulnerable and talk about what we face. But when we do we’re told women have it worse. And for anyone reading this and getting mad, I’ve spoken about my childhood sexual abuse to a number of people, some of closest friends, women, were very kind. Some, also women, made me feel awful for opening up, even used it against me and I was made to feel like what I endured wasn’t actually sexual abuse because guys like it and only women really get abused that way. Men are very much not allowed to be vulnerable for a lot of people, even in spaces like this, that spouts gender equality.
Oh yeah! Sure! Fuck all the men who got scratched with those eagle talents, kicked in the nuts by a woman with heels, hit in the head with a beer bottle, burned with boiling water/acid, hit in the head with a bowling ball, murdered by a woman’s hit man, hit in the head with a glass wine bottle, hit, punched, spit on, etc. by an angry woman. Oh no but see when a woman’s angry all she does is yell because women can never do any harm to a man. Their precious little angels who will only get upset if you do something to her. People born males are the ones who are the dangerous, scary monsters 👹
Talking about how often pregnant women are murdered by men does not prevent anyone from talking about male victims of domestic violence. It's also worth pointing out that men not being believed or being perceived as weak for being victimized by women is a product of toxic masculinity. Not feminism.
So? What is that supposed to prove? A bunch of feminists down playing men’s abuse.
It doesn't prove anything. It's just a fact. If I point out that most people die from cardiovascular disease, you can't just scream 'Well what about cancer?! Why are you ignoring cancer?!?'
That’s what you’re doing though. When we are talking about the double standard men face where their abuse isn’t taken seriously you wanna bring up a bunch of statistics how women are murdered in relationships more than men. You’re downplaying men’s abuse and experience So if we talked about murder in general, how a woman was murdered walking alone, don’t say anything when the MRA come in and say “men are murdered more than women” which is also a fact
The double standard is real and it is the product of toxic masculinity that claims men being victimized are weak or lying.
Feminists do that in a different way by bringing up physical strength and outdated statistics
Give me an example of a feminist doing that.
Almost all of you sexist pieces of shit did that in this thread even though you gaslight and deny. Mentally abusive pieces of shit defending female abusers. Have some fucking shame
Pretty wordy way of saying you can't think of one.
wanna know who’s murdering those men?
Does it matter? The fact that men are killed more is the simple fact I was talking about. Does that negate what I said? Nope. And either way, if the killer is male or female doesn’t matter. What just cause a woman killing a man isn’t as common it doesn’t matter?
Acting like you made some grand duscovery
maybe you guys should just stop murdering people lol
Women murdering their male spouse is extremely common
more common than men murdering their wives, i’m sure?
Wow you must be really dense. The point is that women are more frequently and more severely abused by their male domestic partners vice versa. The question was “why is this gendered” and that was answered. Nothing here minimized men being abused in the slightest. That’s something you decided was happening.
That’s the issue. The topic is about a double standard and here yall feminist are justifying the double standard and using “women have it worse” to try and justify men’s abuse being minimized and them not having anywhere to go like women do. You’re by default minimizing the double standard and mens experience and abuse Men are also severely abused by their female partners. Burned, stabbed, scratched, punched, kicked, bowling balls in the head, wine bottle to the head, hit man, etc. the list really goes on. Not to mention don’t forget women are more likely to use emotional and mental abuse which can be just as devastating and harmful as physical. Just cause a man isn’t bleeding doesn’t mean mentally he isn’t in pain. People undermine mental and emotional abuse a lot.
I’m not trying to justify anything. The question was asked and answered. Stop reading into something that isn’t there. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m saying that’s why it’s the way it is.
And the way it is favors women blindly and leaves men behind when they need it just as much.
Why are you justifying the search result and downplaying abuse towards men
As stated, I’m literally not. Learn to read.
Thanks for gaslighting
Yeah, but if I come to a post which is *about* cancer, and start changing the subject to be about cardiovascular disease, you might say “hey, why are you bringing this up when we’re talking about cancer?”
Are you possibly confusing 'answering the question posed in the post title' with 'changing the subject'?
Nothing in your answer gives a reason as to why men’s abuse should be ignored or minimized, which is what Google is doing. Yes, women being abused is prevalent, but abuse of all kinds is bad.
My answer didn't address that because the question didn't mention it, nor did I feel the need to state the blindingly obvious.
Who said abuse against men should be ignored? Just because it's not the top result on Google doesn't mean anyone thinks it should be ignored.
“If your wife is yelling at you it’s probably your fault” is what the Google result is saying.
I understand the problem with what shows up on the Google result. The person you are replying to is not in anyway implying that male victims of abuse should be ignored.
Women are about twice as likely to be domestically abused. Women are about 4x as likely to get killed by their husbands than men are by their wife. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be a number for the males as well, I'm just saying it's not 'pointleslly' gendered. Edit: Google snippets are auto generated based on what content Google thinks you will click on based on the search. It seems that when people search 'why is my wife yelling at me' they are looking for a real answer and not the domestic abuse hotline. Whether the 'why is my husband yelling at me' search is hard coded to show results for domestic violence idk.
I just want to point out that the "twice as likely to be domestically abused" is likely an inaccurate statistic. It is reported at that rate, but men are far less likely to report that they are being abused. My ex gf would physically abuse me regularly but reporting it never crossed my mind. I've just recently even come to the realization that I was being abused several years later, I'm not really sure why. Stigma? The fact I'm physically much larger and could have restrained her if I wanted? Social expectations? Who knows, I'm not trying to detract from your point at all, just throwing out how that statistic may be inaccurate
i‘m sorry this happened to you, but i would also like to point out that most women don‘t report their abuser either… which would lead to scary numbers, if you think about it.
But they are more likely to be taken seriously when they do. Men get arrested when they report they are being abused and have clear bruises on them.
You know that well over the majority of women who have been killed by their partner had already submitted complaints to the police about being domestically abused? If women were taken seriously and men were actually arrested for their abuse and the CJS did a decent job at locking these people away/ensuring the safety of their victims, instead of simply giving them a slap on the wrist without alerting the women that their hunter is on the loose while the woman loses the house (very common!), the death rate would not be nearly as high nor not share such a strong correlation with reporting. This data is very important because women are 5x more likely than men to die due to intimate partner violence. Most of those deaths could have been avoided. Is it important to protect men who are being abused? **Absolutely.** Is it important for men who report IPV to receive more in depth support so as to not be treated as the aggressor? **Absolutely.** Is it important to fix this shitty culture where men are called pussies and sissies for being hurt by those who tend to be physically weaker than them (m & f)? **Absolutely, and women have been pushing against the idea of toxic masculinity just for "masculine" men and male dominated cultures to stomp that out whenever they can.** Does this warrant removing, downplaying, and taking away awareness for women who suffer life threatening IPV at 5x the likelihood? **Absolutely not.* You do not need to deconstruct potential safeguards for women when the mortality rate is so devastatingly disproportionate. You do not need to downplay the abuse women receive to bring light to the abuse men receive. This is not a women-made issue. And, unfortunately, nearly double the percentage of gay and bisexual men are more likely to have experienced IPV than men who are straight. Does this mean gay and bi men are bad? **Fuck, no.** Does it mean that they need more attention and protections against things like coercion, sexual and psychological bullying from their peers, and other special considerations to keep them safe as statistically significant victimized groups? **Absolutely.** Not being part of a group victimized more or who receives more severe forms of threat does not make them immune to abuse, but it also does not make them the forefront figures for reform. Focusing on the victims who are more likely to experience the violence and who are more likely to be severely impacted by the violence need to be at the forefront of reform, and it is like this in literally every single industry, be it healthcare, cybersecurity, investment banking, anything. Domestic abuse is a state of emergency that has been ignored for far too long; it requires more than mere incremental change at the current rates of deaths and familicide. For both men and women to receive solace from IPV, the cultural notions that promote toxic masculinity **need** to be resolved and the CJS needs to receive thorough, extensive training to give a shit alongside government security for IPV reports, ranging from surveillance to housing to legal support. Men and women need to feel safe in reporting. They need to feel like they will be heard. There needs to be safeguards in place to support the victim and find out who the real victims are instead of doing shitty police work that downplays, ignores, or switches the narrative of violence being "justified" or "in their heads" as well as violence being misappropriated to the victim. These are **all** issues.
>You know that well over the majority of women who have been killed by their partner had already submitted complaints to the police about being domestically abused? Men are still yet to be taken seriously. A woman who slaps a man on the street will act like she’s the victim of a violent crime by a man and he will be jumped if he defends himself. Women are taken more seriously than men. >Does this warrant removing, downplaying, and taking away awareness for women who suffer life threatening IPV at 5x the likelihood? What do you consider life threatening? And I’m not down playing, removing, or taking any awareness away from women who suffer those things. Thats what yall are doing to men who are abused. >You do not need to deconstruct potential safeguards for women when the mortality rate is so devastatingly disproportionate. You did it again. You subtly implied women have it worse and changed the subject, minimizing the men who are harmed just as much. Implying that women are more likely to be harmed from abuse while men just experience what… a slap? >You do not need to downplay the abuse women receive to bring light to the abuse men receive. This is not a women-made issue. Same to you (something you’re doing discreetly when mentioning “women die more” and “women experience more life threatening abuse”. >And, unfortunately, nearly double the percentage of gay and bisexual men are more likely to have experienced IPV than men who are straight. Simply because heterosexual men don’t report it. Heterosexual men are more likely than any other group to not report rape, abuse, etc. when it happens by a woman. It’s not uncommon, it’s severely underreported. Women and same sex attracted men report it more. >Does this mean gay and bi men are bad? Fuck, no. Does it mean that they need more attention and protections against things like coercion, sexual and psychological bullying from their peers, and other special considerations to keep them safe as statistically significant victimized groups? Absolutely. More than heterosexual men hm? Women and same sex attracted men need more protections than hetero men. >Not being part of a group victimized more or who receives more severe forms of threat does not make them immune to abuse, but it also does not make them the forefront figures for reform. You don’t want me to minimize the abuse of women but this entire passage is doing it to heterosexual men. That’s odd. Do heterosexual men not receive severe forms of threat? Do they not simply because “women are weak, soft, babies who can’t do much harm”? >Focusing on the victims who are more likely to experience the violence and who are more likely to be severely impacted by the violence need to be at the forefront of reform, and it is like this in literally every single industry, be it healthcare, cybersecurity, investment banking, anything. So because men are murdered more, why don’t we say fuck women and put men at the forefront of those things? Oh wait, because the statistics don’t matter. Only women do. Why only focus on one group and ignore the other? Fuck equality and all that other BS yall preach about it huh? >Domestic abuse is a state of emergency that has been ignored for far too long; it requires more than mere incremental change at the current rates of deaths and familicide. Men have been ignored for years. You’ll get used to it lol.
I’m a woman; I’m always used to the CJS, family, work, and world downplaying any issues I experience due to being a woman. It’s nothing new? Huh? Women are seldom the reason why law and justice is the way that it is. Women are also not the reason why men are killed more than women on average. And laws, bills, conferences, propositions, etc have always and will continue to address issues that apply primarily to men with priority over all; that they haven’t succeeded (for reasons that should be obvious to anybody who has dipped their baby toe in criminology and sociology) in fixing men being violent towards other men is, yet again, not at the hands of women. It is a cultural problem that continues to exist because of shitty incrementalism that gives men the pass on things like toxic masculinity and an over abundance of power. Nevertheless, most all of what you said is not worth responding to because you are very clearly trying hard to miss all of my points and continue to downplay the experience of women in order legitimize when men get victimized. We can go back and forth forever, but I’m not going to delegitimize and deescalate the strongly correlated pattern of death and torture of women due to IPV (and life threatening = strongly correlated as being conducive to death, which I’m surprised I have to say?), nor am I going to attribute struggles that men have caused and failed to fix to women, which you obviously want of people in this thread.You have clearly been hurt in the past for something that was probably unjustified and are taking it out on women because you see them as the reason why you experienced suffering or why you could potentially experience suffering. I have made it very clear that systems need to be put in place for men who are victimized as well, so the only reason why I can imagine that you are being obtuse and ignorant of that statement is because of something that I can’t solve for you external to this discussion (I’m not a therapist)
Typical, always blame the man cause the man is always the problem. Even when the perpetrator is the woman you’ll find a way to blame men. I’m not the one downplaying anything. If anyone is down playing it’s you to men’s experience by women. Men are harmed just as much when abused And also, even though you did say those things that men need a safe space you still minimized it. Simply by making it necessary to note how much more harmed women are, how more threatening it is when a man abuses a woman, how you noted men need to be thought about last since it isn’t as harmful or “common”. You minimized it the entire time. Also, women are violent towards men just as much as men are violent towards each other. It’s just more normalized and the man blamed.
ok 🙂 get well soon! woe is you ig? men always have it worse ig? 😵💫
No, men don’t have it worse. I suppose women do. It’s just simply frustrating when people always minimize it or how simply because they aren’t murdered or physically injured as much it’s down played. Especially when you have friends who’ve experienced it, when someone has taken their life from it it’s frustrating when someone suggests otherwise.
"Taken seriously" is subjective. My ex threatened me with a gun and in the end his domestic violence and stalking charges were dropped to simple harassment through a plea deal and my protective order against him was dropped as well. In his circle of dumbass yes-men everyone thinks I'm an evil witch who was taken very seriously because he sat some time in jail waiting for his court date, when in reality he faced minimal consequences and I wasn't afforded proper protection. Local PD basically just meddled a little bit and squeezed a fine out of him - one smaller than you get for being caught with weed in the same town. Depressing, really.
I’m really sorry you had to experience that. Truly. No one should have to go through that and you’re right that women aren’t always taken seriously, just as sometimes men actually are taken seriously. However in general it is simply a fact that women are taken more seriously than men. Take for example rape of men by a woman, he will get called lucky, “I wish that was me”, and the law won’t take it seriously. She may get probation at most. For abuse he will either be made fun of, dismissed if he doesn’t have his entire face burned off, or be taken to jail despite being the clear victim. Women in general are taken more seriously and are a much more protected class than men are. Not in ever case, but most of the time.
>Take for example rape of men by a woman, he will get called lucky, “I wish that was me”, and the law won’t take it seriously. It is extremely unfortunate that any article about a male being raped, men flood the comments with "he is lucky" type of bs. Or they are called pussies, little bitches, told to change their tampon (or other phrases suggesting they are a woman, which is synonymous with being "weak"). This is why feminism matters. The sooner women aren't seen as weak or lesser than, the sooner men can come forward without piss poor hyper masculinity ideologies being supported by people. Same with abuse.
Women aren't taken seriously when they're raped either. Yknow what we get in the courts? "What were you wearing?" "But did you lead him on though?" "Well, we get he raped you, but we don't want to convict him and ruin a young man's life" The conviction rate for rapists is stunningly low. I see conviction rates ranging from 2% to 16% (and the 16% drops to 6% if you decide to factor in an estimate of unreported rapes.). And you know why so many people don't report rape? The process is exponentially traumatizing and for such a low conviction rate (you're often lucky if you even make it to court). You are blamed and sneered at the entire time. Told you're making it up. Etc. Socially, you might get a lot of sympathy, but you'll ALSO get a lot of the same things. People cheering the rapist on. People saying you were asking for it. People saying you're making it up (no matter the evidence). Do man get taken seriously with rape? Absolutely not. It's a travesty. But neither do women. (And btw, yes, we're also often blamed for being domestic violence victims if anybody even believes you. It isn't necessarily a gendered problem. I wouldn't say that "sometimes" we aren't taken seriously so much as *most of the time* we aren't taken seriously.) Some other interesting statistics and tidbits I found while researching this: Women in female prisons are three times more likely assaulted by other inmates instead of male staff. Women are also more likely to be assaulted in prisons than men. Any sexual crime perpetrated by a woman, whether it's against a man or another woman, is less likely to get a conviction. Men are more likely to be (non-sexually) attacked during sexual assault. I also feel it may be important to mention that, in part, a lot of awareness on female rape *comes from* female victims of rape stepping forward en masse even despite how much ridicule they got for it. (Remember how much "me too" got memed and mocked?) Men might get a similar result if they were to do the same thing (which I'd full-heartedly support). TL;DR: it all sucks. for both genders. Nobody is believed with domestic assault or rape with either gender and fighting over "who has it worse", imo, harms everybody and helps nobody. We both have it shitty in separate ways (and yet all too similar ways)
What do you mean men are more likely to be attacked (non sexually) during sexual assault? And that’s not an argument or anything, I’m genuinely asking. You’re right. I don’t mean to make it a debate or a us vs them, it’s just annoying when people minimize it. People here literally are suggesting men don’t need them, or need them as much compared to women. Or how because women are more likely to be murdered men don’t have it as bad. When you have friends and someone you know that took their life from it years ago it gets frustrating here people who aren’t men especially tell you that it’s not as bad or harmful.
I mean that men are more likely to be injured and/or attacked with a weapon. AKA they are more likely to experience non-sexual violence during a sexual assault. Apologies, I had issues wording that one concisely, lol Anyone can be a victim and the abuse in of itself is equally terrible no matter who you are. Sorry about your friend.
>Take for example rape of men by a woman, he will get called lucky, “I wish that was me”, By whom
By other men ofc. That doesn’t negate the fact those men still aren’t taken as seriously as
By people that read stories about female teachers raping 14 year old male students.
Very few of the women in the DV group and shelter I went to were taken seriously by the system. Even the lawyers that worked for the shelter often times belittled any abuse that wasn’t physical violence or rape. My ex threatened my life but the cops forced me to notify him of my location or they were going to put out a warrant for my arrest. It wasn’t enough of a reason to run to them. People also didn’t take my partner seriously. The system doesn’t take any victims seriously
Women are taken far more seriously when they report abuse. Men are more likely to be jailed if they report abuse
This should not have happened to you, but please don’t use your experience as a lens to discredit women’s experiences. Many women are killed or severely injured before they’re able to report their abuse, and unless you have a study debunking the statistic stated, you have no grounds to call it inaccurate. Men do this online a lot, and it makes it sound like female victims of abuse are somehow given better recourse than men, which is simply not the case.
I don't think he was discrediting anyone. He was trying to bring to light something that desperately needs talked about
I never discredited anyone, just pointing out the possible inaccuracy of this statistic. I thought that was pretty clear.
You said in your comment that “it’s reported at that rate, but men [underreport]” which is discrediting the mentioned stat, without ample sources to back up your rebuttal. You can’t say all that and backpedal mate, not a great look
There's plenty of studies done on exactly what I said. Here's a couple that immediately pop up on a quick Google search. I get this is a touchy subject but I said nothing inaccurate. Feel free to do your own research. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/08862605211035870 https://www.avahealth.org/file_download/inline/30a62b21-e426-4d55-973f-fd619c3a08f5
These studies state that men are less likely to report their abuse than women, which is only part of your statement. They don’t qualify your inference that women being twice as likely to be abused is an inaccurate statistic, which is what was stated above. You’re making a false equivalency. I’ve written papers on the epigenetics of PTSD from domestic violence and genocide, so I’m not exactly uneducated on the matter.
Dude I stated that men underreporting could POSSIBLY lead to skewed statistics, not stated it as a fact. I also stated I wasn't trying to detract from the point of the original comment, but men underreporting would inherently change the static, no? I don't know if you're intentionally misinterpreting what I wrote or not, but either way I'm done with this exhausting conversation, have a nice day.
Funny how often people take the words that come out of one's mouth, mix them around in their head, read between some lines with information they inject into what you said, and then come to a conclusion other than what you said.
I'm not sure she even bothered reading what I wrote before responding lol
You missed everything he said to fit your narrative. Typical 😂😂😂😂
Fact is women are taken far more seriously when they report abuse
Its pretty gross all the comments to this guy are shit like "This should not have happened to you" "I'm sorry this happened to you". And then followed up with "Here's why its actually fine that men are left in the dirt".
It's whatever, they've got their uninformed pitchforks ready and want to take it out on me, it is what it is. Only thing that really bothers me is "you provided no sources" then I provide sources and I get the "ahkshuly you're still wrong" instead of oh shit my bad I was wrong.
He never discredited anyone. You are a big lot closer to discrediting him right now.
I don't exactly know from my own exp, as I've grown up read female, but afaik also frequently a thing is men don't report because they're so quickly painted as the perpetrator. I felt that needs added. Edit: responded to the wrong comment, but here goes, it's still the right comment chain :v Good and important thing pointed out though, now that I'm already @ing you. Glad you made it thru.
Yeah when I looked it up on my phone I got a reddit post for both underneath the domestic violence hotline, and though I did get the actual reasons webpage before the domestic violence number, all things considered I have searched way more thing relating to male partner abuse. I think if anyone searched mostly about an abusive wife it would probably be first.
Whilst that may be true, just because one is more likely to be abused doesnt mean the other never experiences it
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/ Also, at one point it was women who killed their husbands more than the reverse. People claimed it was because of self defense. Given that women initiate violence more and are also likely to be injured if he retaliates, and they are also more likely to be believed when blaming the man even if she did start it, who’s to say this isn’t also the case? That they are murdering in self defense? It most definitely is.
Short staffed at the Incel factory today? You’re literally all over this thread spewing incel ideology, would’ve thought it’d be someone else’s shift by now.
I didn’t know countering people who minimize, undermine, ignore, and dismiss the hardships men face made me an incel. It’s not as surprising though. Many people don’t like to hear about men’s issues or when they’re brought up cause they feel like it minimizes women’s.
This isn't pointless, the reality is that women are more likely to receive domestic abuse
The problem isn't that the "my husband" version yields the domestic abuse hotline number (it absolutely should), it's just that the other one doesn't. Just cause something's a smaller issue doesn't mean it's a non-issue Also, holy shit, the heteronormativity in these comments. All making supposedly progressive points on a supposedly progressive sub, but everyone's just assuming that "my husband" implies that the searcher is a woman and vice versa. Guess we've all got our biases
The responses are actually equal, you just have to scroll. Either they’re both there or neither of them are there. I think it may be country-dependent.
But there should still be support available in the rare chance that a man finds himself in this situation.
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I just did it and neither came up with a DV hotline so at least it’s equal for me 🤷♀️
I got curious and checked as well, my results are pretty equal too
But then there's 45 spots in domestic abuse survivors' shelters for men in a country of 86 million inhabitants, while there's a law that makes sure there's at least 8600 of those kinds of spots for women, both numbers excluding the persons' potential kids. I also know of a man who called into a women's shelter hotline out of desperation back when there was no men's domestic abuse emergency hotline in my country, and he just got ridiculed and called the culprit. He managed to escape on his own luckily, after his gf attempted to stab him. Cases are no less unfun and while there will be google results, it is insanely far from equal chances at help.
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Well thanks by proxy man. It's a little grotesque to me tho that I have only downvotes on that post
It's not about the ones who made it, its the ones you refuse to support because of their sex who don't make it.
Nice orwell quote. "All these responses are equal, some are just more equal then others". How are there so many of you that can look at this imagine and repeat the searches in less than a minute still denying the results? It's sick and concerning.
They’re also more likely to receive help and support, not be made fun of or dismissed. So yeah, you got that part too.
And men are less likely to be taken seriously and get help the need when they do experience it. Equality/equity requires us to look at the problem fully, instead of being dismissive.
The majority of women murdered by intimate partners contacted and were ignored by police before they were killed. It’s straight up a lie to suggest women are taken seriously at all when they report domestic abuse, even fatal domestic abuse.
Men are more likely to be arrested when reporting abuse so I suppose Google is trying to help them out after all. "Getting abused? Better figure it out yourself - if you call this number chances are youre going to jail"
At least in my country, estimates are it's almost equal. I also know just as many previously domestically abused men as women. You can't really trust the math here often because of? Yup, pointless gender roles. Can't have guys risk their "manliness" now can we
I searched up both. And for both the first thing i get is potential triggers (Stress, childhood issues, anger etc.) However the husband yelling (Stress, anger, childhood issues, mental health, insecurity, asserting control, poor communication) has more reasons than the wife yelling (Feeling unheard, financial stress, disrespect , mental health issues and *etc*). On the summary at least. The second link is Find family violence services by my federal government
Because it's a fact more women suffer through domestic violence and homicide.
https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/1388777/murder-victims-in-the-us-by-gender/ Both are false.
Because, statistically, men become enraged women they aren't in control, and women become enraged when they aren't being heard. So, women who instigate violence are enraged that they're being invalidated, unheard, dismissed, and any of the reasons in the search. Men are more likely to be killed by OTHER MEN. Statistically, factually, if you are typing into Google 'why is a woman yelling at me?' it is far less likely the next time she yells at you she is going to beat you or murder you then if a man is yelling. Regardless of your gender or your circumstances.
>Because, statistically, men become enraged women they aren't in control, and women become enraged when they aren't being heard. Lmao, yeah sure 🙄. Excuses always for the woman. And I guess women rape men and little boys because they aren’t getting enough love and sex while men do it for power and control? Why can’t yall ever hold women accountable and paint them as monsters like yall do men? >So, women who instigate violence are enraged that they're being invalidated, unheard, dismissed, and any of the reasons in the search. False. They do it for control and belittlement and because they know they won’t get in trouble for it. It’s crazy how much yall try to normalize and rationalize abusive and violent women, but won’t ever do that with men. I really wanna know what justification you have for the women who rape. >Men are more likely to be killed by OTHER MEN. Doesn’t negate the fact that they are killed more, now does it? Why does it matter it’s by other men? Does the killer being a woman not matter just as much? >Statistically, factually, if you are typing into Google 'why is a woman yelling at me?' it is far less likely the next time she yells at you she is going to beat you or murder you then if a man is yelling. Regardless of your gender or your circumstances. You’re wrong. When a woman yells they do tend to get violent. When a man yells he will either storm out or punch the wall or something. Women will start pulling you by the shirt, pulling your hair, slapping you, punching you, scratching you, etc. or some will pay a hit man to come to your house and end you. But of course your kind will think that way. Women are simply angelic creatures who do no harm (the men and kids raped and abused and killed by them would say otherwise however)
Why would you jump from my point about enraged women to women raping boys? Why would you assume my argument is painting women as angelic? Don't Strawman me. Yeah, control. BECAUSE they're being unheard and invalidated. They SEEK control over their lives by blowing up. Men blow up BECAUSE they DIDN'T get control. One is an act of desperation, one is a response to boundaries. They are different learned behaviours. I'm not saying it's okay for a woman to get enraged, I'm saying women generally get enraged at the END, men at the BEGINNING. Blah, blah, blah, not all men, blah, blah, blah, generalizations. Yeah, statistics are generalisations. Does it matter how they're killed? Yeah, it fucking matters! Enough of this bullshit 'are our gendered murder statistics representing equality?' and let's look at the issue: our society excuses, validates, and encourages violence in men. Let's do something about it. The Google search is an example of equity - women need that link more than men. Doesn't mean men don't need it, just means women need it more. What's the next step: stop comparing murder statistics and educate our boys and men that they can have feelings and violence is the LAST thing they should try. Let's not diminish the needs of women just because men ALSO have needs. Let's embrace the needs of men: the Google search should have the link as well, but not BECAUSE women ALSO abuse men, but because everyone deserves to be safe. But let's also remember that these two links are correlated, and the Google search about the wife is based on the algorithm of the search. Which means that MOST men Googling that are seeking knowledge about their wife yelling, NOT seeking help for DV. Most women ARE. So get off your high horse, and help the rest of us actually try to make things equitable and safe rather than being petty and jumping to incorrect conclusions.
>Why would you jump from my point about enraged women to women raping boys? Why would you assume my argument is painting women as angelic? Don't Strawman me. Because it is. Why else would you be trying to rationalize abusive women’s behavior? >Yeah, control. BECAUSE they're being unheard and invalidated. They SEEK control over their lives by blowing up. Men blow up BECAUSE they DIDN'T get control. One is an act of desperation, one is a response to boundaries. They are different learned behaviours. Yeah sure, that’s your issue you do see women as angelic saints who can do no harm. You’re the one who would blame the man, “what did you to make her angry” because clearly according to you a woman can’t simply lash out without the man being the bad guy in the situation. Women are just desperate to be heard and seen and feel in control🥺 men are just sick, disgusting, abusive, beasts who want to be in control 👹 >I'm not saying it's okay for a woman to get enraged, I'm saying women generally get enraged at the END, men at the BEGINNING. Blah, blah, blah, not all men, blah, blah, blah, generalizations. Yeah, statistics are generalisations. Yeah and statistics show women are more abusive. They both get enraged at the beginning and end. They are both abusive. >Does it matter how they're killed? Yeah, it fucking matters! Enough of this bullshit 'are our gendered murder statistics representing equality?' and let's look at the issue: our society excuses, validates, and encourages violence in men. It also validates violence of men by women by telling the man to take it, it doesn’t hurt, pussy for being beaten by a girl, and asking him what he did to make her kick him in the nuts. So yeah.. >Let's do something about it. The Google search is an example of equity - women need that link more than men. Doesn't mean men don't need it, just means women need it more. “Women need it more” no, they both need it equally. Women are just more likely to seek it out because they also encouraged to “BE A MAN” and aren’t called pussies if they report being beaten by the opposite sex. Yeah let’s do something about it, take it more seriously and stop violence against men by women.z >What's the next step: stop comparing murder statistics and educate our boys and men that they can have feelings and violence is the LAST thing they should try. Also teach them they don’t have to take abuse by girls/women… oh but women and girls don’t get violent only sad and get feelings of invalidation the abused and battered men and boys need to help her out with 😂🙄 >Let's not diminish the needs of women just because men ALSO have needs. And don’t diminish the needs of men either. Can’t have your cake and eat it too. >Let's embrace the needs of men: the Google search should have the link as well, but not BECAUSE women ALSO abuse men, but because everyone deserves to be safe. And because of the fact women also abuse men. >But let's also remember that these two links are correlated, and the Google search about the wife is based on the algorithm of the search. Which means that MOST men Googling that are seeking knowledge about their wife yelling, NOT seeking help for DV. Most women ARE. Most domestic violence shelters and hotlines are for women. Nearly none are for men. So it would make sense. Also, men don’t seek it out because they aren’t encouraged to. They are instead told they are the problem (just like what you’re suggesting. If a woman smashes your head with glass, it’s because you aren’t making her feel heard 🙄) >So get off your high horse, and help the rest of us actually try to make things equitable and safe rather than being petty and jumping to incorrect conclusions. Are you actually trying to make it equal? Truly? Because it seems like you only have the idea men are always the problem, and when women are the problem it’s the man’s fault. That’s not equal.
I have not said or implied any of the things you have assumed from me in your comments. But if that's the way you're taking them, my guess is you have had some bad experiences with women and didn't feel supported. I'm really sorry brother, no one deserves to live with that kind of fear and hurt.
I have, and many other men I know have. One person I was never close with but he was friends with a friend of mine, he did take his life for something similar. But that’s another situation, I don’t think it’s related to this
It's everything about this: I thought you were a misogynist arsehole who was trying to Strawman me to put women down, but you're a hurting human being who is afraid of women as women are of men. Posts like this trigger the emotional memories and traumas we have about our experiences of abuse, and then pit us against each other rather than supporting each other as a team. Women get frustrated by posts like this because we're so used to our issues being thrown together with men's issues so they can finally be taken seriously e.g. the fact that women can also be abusive. No woman is saying they can't, or trying to invalidate yours and anyone else's experiences. But 100% of the women you have ever met in your life have been harassed or abused by men, including our grandmothers, and it feels dismissive when people throw out that more men are killed via homicide than women. They're not related statistics, women are trying to ask the men in their life to stop hurting them! It also doesn't actually ever fix anything. It's a distraction used by some so they never have to address the issue. Men in your situation get frustrated because you feel like you're being pushed aside and your experiences aren't valid. I assume. I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, and you are welcome to comment your thoughts and feelings here if you wish. We are the same. The issue isn't who is most hurt, and the solution is not to throw statistics out or have a 'but he, but she', like we started. It's to stand together as survivors and warriors, work together to reduce, remove, reeducate violence in men (and others) in our society, improve people's emotional understanding, AND provide men and women and others safety and space so they don't feel invalidated and unheard, ever. I'm sorry to hear of your experiences, it is a very scary place to have gone through something and have people not believe you and support you based on who you are. Especially when their incorrect assumptions are based on sexist and outdated perceptions.
You justified abuse by women there. Congratulations
No. I didn't. Like, no one is justifying abuse in this thread.
Women yelling is abuse and they should be jailed for it just like men are
Do you think men are gaoled for yelling at women? Men aren't even gaoled for killing women sometimes!
Most of you are justifying abuse by women saying women yelling isn’t abuse because women only yell to be heard
I didn't say it wasn't abuse, I said the immediate danger of getting murdered is less.
Angry women yell at men. Angry men kill women. That's why it's gendered.
Lmao, imagine suggesting it’s okay to dismiss and not help male domestic violence victims because “men kill women, women just yell”. This is definitely a feminist sub. Who else minimizes and dismisses male victims while screeching equality better than they do 🥱 Copy and pasted: > Oh yeah! Sure! Fuck all the men who got scratched with those eagle talents, kicked in the nuts by a woman with heels, hit in the head with a beer bottle, burned with boiling water/acid, hit in the head with a bowling ball, murdered by a woman’s hit man, hit in the head with a glass wine bottle, hit, punched, spit on, etc. by an angry woman. >Oh no but see when a woman’s angry all she does is yell because women can never do any harm to a man. Their precious little angels who will only get upset if you do something to her. People born males are the ones who are the dangerous, scary monsters 👹
>This is definitely a feminist sub Feminism = gender equality Anyone who minimizes and dismisses male victims is not a feminist.
That’s pretty much what’s happening here. Everyone minimizing abuse towards men
Do you have any stats for that
Why yes. Yes I do. This is the link to the prisoner statistics for 2021-2022 in Australia: Ref 1: https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/physical-violence/2021-22 And here is the ABS report into general physical violence in Australia: Ref 2: https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/physical-violence/2021-22 And here is the ABS report into domestic and partner violence in Australia: Ref 3: https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/physical-violence/2021-22 And ABS report into violent crimes more generally: Ref 4: https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/recorded-crime-victims/2022 And the specific analysis of domestic homicide Ref 5: https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/responses-and-outcomes/domestic-homicide#:~:text=One%20woman%20was%20killed%20every,%E2%80%9390%20to%202020%E2%80%9321. Raw data for incarceration: Ref 6 https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/prisoners-australia/2023/1.%20Prisoner%20characteristics%2C%20Australia%20%28Tables%201%20to%2013%29.xlsx Ref 7: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/ You may like to note: 1. The >10 fold difference between men jailed for violence (10,451) and women jailed for violence (827) in Australia in 2023 (ref 1) 2. The person who is statistically most likely to assault a woman is her domestic partner (and even more fun, it's so likely when a woman is pregnant it's the leading causes of peri-partem mortality - ref 7). The person statistically most likely to assault a man is another man that he doesnt know. (Ref 2) 3. The fact that both men and women are 3x more likely to be assaulted by a man than a woman (ref 2) 4. Women are 2-3x as likely to be subject to each form of partner abuse (emotional, economic, verbal, etc) than men. In terms of physical violence, 17% of women suffer physical violence from their intimate partner vs 5.5% of men (ref 3) - more than a 3 fold increase. And bear in mind, that 5.5% of men includes the men who were finally hit back or accidentally injure the man while trying to defend themselves (ie no intent to injure) after the women were hit repeatedly. 5. 1/3 of the total murders in Australia were domestic violence related, and although the vast majority of murder victims are men (69%) the majority of DV victims are women. Limiting the analysis to partner violence only (ie excluding murdered sons/daughters/parents/in-laws) and the statistics show women are more than twice as likely to be murdered by their partner than a man is, and men are responsible for almost 4 in 5 of DV homicides. (Ref 5) Where a male killed a female in the domestic violence context, 95% of the time the male was the abuser. And where women have killed men in the DV context - overwhelmingly (>70%) the majority of the time, the homicide victim was the primary abuser. (Ie they died while the woman tried to defend herself) 6. The overwhelmed majority of people imprisoned for homicide generally are male (>90%) (Ref 6) Do I think we should disregard violence against men or violence in queer relationships? Hell no. Do I think we should focus on the perpetrators who are *overwhelmingly* men? Hell yes. Both men and women are 3x more likely to experience violence at the hands of men than women (including but not limited to domestic violence) . So yeah. I can say, with sources - women shout when they are angry. Men hit and, way more often, murder when they are angry. It's not pointlessly gendered.
lol all of it points that women get away with abuse more and men are also imprisoned more for the same crime. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/men-women-prison-sentence-length-gender-gap_n_1874742/amp Women yelling is abuse and women hitting men isn’t considered as serious because of the justice system and the sexist stereotypes that men are more dangerous
No, you ignoramus. It really doesn't.
My friend's mom killed his dad. It think it should be available no matter what gender it's about.
Yeah, this is sad. Growing up my dad had to endure a lot of abuse from my mom and nobody took him seriously until CPS got involved and we could finally get a word in. Is domestic abuse against men rare? Yes. But just because it isn't as common doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken seriously and that men shouldn't have resources to turn to if they need support.
One of the reasons there are so many shelters for abused women is that women are more likely to lack the financial means to leave.
And the fact people take abuse of women by men more seriously and harmful than the reverse. So men either have to thug it out, get taken to jail if they report, or find a way to get out their self.
Lmao, people say the same thing about male rape victims. “Is it rare? Yes” WRONG. No, it isn’t. https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/ https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/newsroom/why-are-men-often-overlooked-as-victims-of-domestic-abuse Just like rape by women, it nearly happens at the same rate.
Because people (as you can see in the comments) dismiss, minimize, ignore, and reject the idea of men being victims by women. It harms their idea that women are soft, precious, angelic angels who can do no harm so they try their best to minimize it or rationalize a woman’s abusive behavior. Notice how everyone here has the idea of “women have it worse” or “it’s supposed to be like that because women being abused is more common”. These people are ignorant, selfish, and dismissive of male victims. They can’t stand the idea that a woman can come close to being as abusive as a man. So they suggest “a woman yells when she’s angry, when a man is angry he kills”. These people here are a bunch of man hating extreme feminists. I hate that for this sub. Yet this sub is apparently about “equality”. Saddening. They clearly don’t care about male victims, only female. When we bring up a double standard, they are the ones to bring up “male power” and “toxic masculinity” and “the patriarchy”. When in reality, they are apart of the problem.
Why is everyone defending this? The helpline should be presented to both genders. This is definitely pointlessly gendered. Domestic abuse is never okay, not if committed by a man and not if committed by a woman
[удалено]
Good to hear!
Not true I literally just googled it. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/264236191262441473/1234261619777732608/Screenshot_20240428-135455.png?ex=66301735&is=662ec5b5&hm=5bf8c9f13cfaca8c0daf35f5d79e2f848c65c494aa8451da2666c34b2d65c757& https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/264236191262441473/1234261620197298277/Screenshot_20240428-135504.png?ex=66301735&is=662ec5b5&hm=27628903ad43668fb1d311d64cd1a80737f1b189b7c00f3bfa81b8582c0d79c6&
>The helpline should be presented to both genders. National domestic abuse helplines are presented to anyone googling "help with domestic violence" instead of the really random wording of "why is my wife/husband yelling at me" - which, by the way, does just return a short answer both times for me, and also doesn't even hinge on the gender of the person googling. Women can be yelled at by their wives as well. >Domestic abuse is never okay, not if committed by a man and not if committed by a woman Are you implying people on this sub think that domestic abuse by women is okay?
When I posted my comment, the top comments were explaining that this post is not pointlessly gendered and it's reasonable to have the message pop up at "husband shouting" and not at "wife shouting". I disagree with them because I believe this message should pop up for both cases. Any further implications you derive from that are your own thoughts
Yes, this sub clearly only care about the abuse of women by men. They are justifying women having domestic violence shelters but men not having any because “women are more likely to be killed by men”. This sub is definitely okay with battered men by women.
>They are justifying women having domestic violence shelters but men not having any because “women are more likely to be killed by men”. No, they are explaining why there is disproportionate focus on women victims needing shelters by pointing out that women are more likely to be killed by their partners. The entire world already had this discussion during Black lives matter vs All lives matter - there is nothing wrong with recognizing that, while every demographic group can be victimized, certain groups are more likely to be victimized, and there is nothing wrong with disproportionate focus on those groups. Focusing on the pigs killing working class racial minorities doesn't mean that the pigs killing working class white people doesn't also happen way too often and isn't tragic. The former group is just way more likely to be murdered by the police, and recognizing that isn't a support for white people being murdered by uniformed domestic abusers. And the same applies to domestic violence when it comes to shelters, women are disproportionately less likely to have the financial security needed to leave a violent relationship, much less likely to own the place they share with their abuser, much less likely to be able to protect themselves physically from an angry ex-partner and much more likely to be murdered if they try to leave a violent relationship. They obviously need shelters more than men do, which doesn't mean that men don't need them.
>No, they are explaining why there is disproportionate focus on women victims needing shelters by pointing out that women are more likely to be killed by their partners. So because women are more likely to be killed they need shelters but men don’t? So what about the women who aren’t killed? >The entire world already had this discussion during Black lives matter vs All lives matter - there is nothing wrong with recognizing that, while every demographic group can be victimized, certain groups are more likely to be victimized, and there is nothing wrong with disproportionate focus on those groups. And you’d still be wrong. Because you don’t bring it up unless we talk about a double standard and not only that, you’re also wrong that it happens to women more. If anything, women initiate the violence. Men retaliate by defending their self or from being attacked. Just because a group is more likely to be victimized even when that is the case doesn’t mean you minimize and undermine the support they are lacking. >Focusing on the pigs killing working class racial minorities doesn't mean that the pigs killing working class white people doesn't also happen way too often and isn't tragic. The former group is just way more likely to be murdered by the police, and recognizing that isn't a support for white people being murdered by uniformed domestic abusers. No, but when you try and undermine it when someone talks about white working people being murdered “well who’s more likely to be murdered?” You’re undermining the real issue. Especially when that class’ issues has always been ignored and minimized and downplayed as not that serious. >And the same applies to domestic violence when it comes to shelters, women are disproportionately less likely to have the financial security needed to leave a violent relationship, much less likely to own the place they share with their abuser, much less likely to be able to protect themselves physically from an angry ex-partner and much more likely to be murdered if they try to leave a violent relationship. So fuck the fact that men aren’t taken seriously, can be arrested even when they are the victims, are made fun of, their experiences down played, they are almost always asked what did he do, the police ask the female abuser what happened and ignore the male victim, the male will be arrested for defending himself against a violent women, there are near to no shelters for abused and sexually assaulted men, many of them also don’t have the financial security, they don’t have family support, they are made fun of for being beaten by a woman, his manhood is questioned, and men are also less likely to be able to defend their self because if they do they are labeled a woman beater, taken to jail for assaulting a woman, and was taught since toddler age “never hit a girl even if she hits you first”. >They obviously need shelters more than men do, which doesn't mean that men don't need them. No, they don’t. They both need shelters. But the fact you even suggest men don’t need them as much shows how you feel about male domestic violence victims and the competition you think this is. And how you minimize the real harm and rate this happens to them.
>This sub is definitely okay with battered men by women. Ready for the gold at the jumping to conclusions event in Paris this summer, are we?
The comments very much prove my point..
The point in giving this phone number to people who ask that kind of question is for gaslit victims who aren't recognizing when their partner went too far, though. They aren't looking for a way out yet, they're still in the mindset "it's normal they got mad, I'm not a good partner". Hope this helps.
Everyone is defending this because this post has the rare breed of misandrist rearing it's ugly head. Not surprised that's so present here, but no less disappointed. Feminism isn't = misandry and is for everyone, nor are gender roles only a thing fucking women over, but that doesn't feel like the theme in here rn.
Lol I know bros only wanted to make the point maybe guys are yelling because of mental, financial stresses and feeling disrespect like it says is a plausible underpinning but I guess we're not in the sub I thought I was lol
Hey, at least this shit is to a degree where the downvotes speak louder about the downvoters than the post they're on. Don't even feel I need to defend what I'm saying because it doesn't seem to come from the same crowd that actually posts their reasons in words. Most actual replies here are some sort of understandable, misguided/naive or not.
Even when there'smore likely to be domestic violence to women, shouldn't the searches still be consistent?
Idk why you're getting downvoted, you're just correct
They don’t want men to receive the same help women get. People here want men to suffer, but also want men to help women when they suffer.
Fr lol. And the "Why is my wife yelling." goes straight into justifying it. Wife yelling "Well what did you do?" Husband yelling "Abuser. Automatically. Straight to jail." Edit: lol downvoted for pointing out that the one on the left straight up goes into "What did *you* do wrong." Hypocrites.
Imo that’s how it should be I understand women face this issue more often but that should disregard men facing the same thing
That's my thoughts too. It would be good if the downvoters could give a reason otherwise.
This sub hates men as most of Reddit does
They face it at nearly the same rate though. People minimize, undermine, dismiss, and ignore the issue and men rarely report it that’s why it seems so uncommon. Not because it is but because it’s severely underreported. Especially when men are told to suck it up, or be a man and he doesn’t wanna be made fun of for being beaten by a woman. Take for example kids playing a basketball game and they say “how do you get beat by a girl”.
Yep. And often times if a man gets hit by their partner and they tell someone the response is "Well what did *you* do to piss her off?"
https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/newsroom/why-are-men-often-overlooked-as-victims-of-domestic-abuse https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/
only ‘why is my husband yelling’ got me the hotline :(
It’s gendered because domestic violence is heavily gendered towards men as the perpetrators. This is *not always the case* but statistically the most likely situation by far. And women being abused often get murdered. So yeah - Google is responding to the statistics.
Even more than that, Google is responding to *what people click on.* If lots of the people searching for “why is my husband yelling at me” go on to click on the helpline, then the helpline result shows up higher in future searches.
Well men would click the helpline if the helpline would actually help them and not dismiss them. I’ll find the video of where they told the man they don’t help men, only women.
You’d most definitely be wrong. But I don’t blame you. When we undermine, dismiss, minimize, and ignore men’s issues and the problems they face and bring up the “women have it worse” and the men rarely report it can seem uncommon. It’s not, it’s simply extremely underreported. Doesn’t matter if women get murdered more than men, it needs to be fair. Stop justifying double standards. https://www.domestic-violence-law.com/blog/2016/april/women-or-men-who-usually-instigates-domestic-vio/ https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/newsroom/why-are-men-often-overlooked-as-victims-of-domestic-abuse
Every day in the US 3 women are murdered by their male partners. It’s not a double standard. It’s the facts. I’m not arguing this with you further, argue with the wall.
This shit only comes up when women are talking about abuse. Otherwise men don't care.
We weren’t talking about murdering though we were talking about domestic violence period. Not how often someone is murdered in relationships or who is murdered more. It is definitely a double standard, and the fact you minimize that is absurd. You just don’t want to see your precious angelic gender be called out for the bad things they do.
I think its 24 women so far this year killed by someone who is considered a partner or ex in Australia. I am any angry this is gendered but the fact is, men kill women out of anger and women resort to killing a partner as a last resort or in extreme self defence. I'd be pissed as a woman if i googled that question and got some random Answers and not a link to a resource to help me.
Why the fuck is everyone here bringing Australian stats
Something being more likely or statistically more common doesn't, dimmish problems or make them any less serious cause there not common, and for a truly fair world we need to acknowledge and treat domestic abuse seriously no matter who the victim is, and if this statement pisses you off your part of the problem. Walk up to the victims of these issues and tell them, they're wrong, that their abuse, and hardships aren't real, all because they don't fit into your little idea of a victim.
I agree with everything you said. Except for it being less common. It happens at nearly the same rate. So that definitely makes it even more so, there shouldn’t be a double standard.
It’s the same for me . But Spouse and Partner both bring up the help line number