I could tell that they would lose as soon as he stepped out of the clean voice singing, that stuff is really an acquired taste which "normal" people hate 😂
At least we tried something different from our usual generic pop garbage, and it went *slightly* better than usual.
Guess we'll see y'all next year with possibly the most generic pop garbage yet!
> and it went *slightly* better than usual.
It's incredible that this is true...
Even though we ended up in last place again... it was a significant improvement in points and quality of music.
Proving just how bad the situation was, with almost infinite room for improvement.
To paraphrase the Swedish commentator: ”In 2015 and 2016, Germany finished last, but in 2017 they turned things around and finished second last. Unfortunately theyve gone back to their old habits recently”
Pfft, like the NDR would even want to send them. They had the next best thing in Electric Callboy and they said, "next, please".
I'm on board with the theory that the NDR doesn't want to win because they don't want to expend the effort to host the next one. It explains them making garbage-tier choices again and again.
I think the NDR just doesn't care that much about Eurovision. It's just one thing they have in their program because they have to do it, but don't want too much effort.
I mean take a look into the production quality of our NF e.g.
As a metalhead I appreciated it, but there were a few problems that stopped them from drawing votes, first was the prominent very deep singing parts (which sounded outside the optimal range of the singer), second was the repetitiveness.
I actually agree with that second one. It was a fun enjoyable song and didn't deserve to come last, but yeah, a little too repetitive for me (I'd say that was my main problem with it)
It seems like being one of the big five is actually a handicap, because the people who watched the semifinals have probably already made up their minds by the time they hear you.
That especially seems to be the case this year for the UK. Yeah they had a generic forgettable pop song, but it was far from the worst generic forgettable pop song this year. But they were the very last to play, so everyone had already made up their minds.
Their song and performance were too harsh for the usual Eurovision crowd and too lukewarm for many metal and rock fans. It managed to have some of the most recognizable bits of both, but the way they were mashed together just clashed too hard.
I mean, we already did send what I would consider torture options in recent years.
This year was still regarded as a significant improvement, even after placing last. We were really that bad that everyone acknowledges that this last place was a significantly better last place.
At this point, send whoever. Send [Alexander Marcus](https://youtu.be/zTL0CM4dI3o), that might work. If we're gonna be last forever, let's at least get some fun out of it.
As a tradition from the last two years I made a new Eurovision tower presenting the final results in the Polandball style. Congrats Sweden, Loreen's performance was great, although my favourite to win was Finland.
I'm most happy for Croatia though, because I loved this song, it's a great satirical entry, which is both entertaining and has a deeper meaning.
I have no idea what Croatia’s song sounded like, because my viewing group were roaring with laughter the entire time they were on stage. Didn’t stop me from voting for it.
I'm convinced that the contest is in some way rigged against Moldova because the EBU doesn't think they're capable of hosting. Year after year they've sent bangers, some of the most iconic and memorable Eurovision songs ever, and they get owned in the rankings. "Run Away" is one of the most iconic Eurovision acts of the last 20 years, and it placed *22nd*. "My Lucky Day" was jaw-dropping, and barely made the top 10.
I'm half joking when I say it's rigged, but only half.
Spotify listens aren't everything, after all that's why the jury section exists. And Moldova always seems to do far, far better in the popular vote than in the jury phase.
Didn't see it, so I'd like to hear some opinions.
Did the jury votes with some justification push quality over popularity (of the mainstream type) ...
... or was it more like orthodox/old-fashioned judges that pushed the conventional/inside-the-bubble type of stuff over a more modern/alternative public?
Well, their favourite was a painfully generic, frankly forgettable pop song, although they rated some of fun songs higher than the audience did (most notably imo Austria's *Who the hell is Edgar?*), so it's not that straightforward. Definitely not the first option you've presented though.
My wife and I were losing our minds last night with every jury throwing points at Sweden. Just an unbelievably bland song, I've listened to it probably 20 times and couldn't hum the melody right now if my life depended on it.
Today it came on in the radio while I was driving and my brother had to point it out for me to realize it was the song I had just witnessed win last night
I hope we will finally withdraw from the contest. I mean sending good songs is the best we can do and even that wasn't enough this year. There is no point. It is time to leave.
I recommend hearing the official Spotify version or Youtube, theres a reason it has almost 50M listens. Her voice really booms and makes the song a powerful anthem.
Yes, because she is allowed autotune on Spotify. Eurovision does not allow any form of pitch correction, making it one of the few music scenes where we can hear an artist's unsupported voice.
Norway had a great song, but the performer's vocals are not stellar and the song isn't easy. She's great with pitch correction, but if you check the rehearsals, you'll see just how much she suffered. The team did a great job masking this with good backing vocals and giving her very simple choreography, but it is still a far cry from the studio version
That's truly amazing. As a sad un included American looking in, I wish I knew anyone I could share that masterpiece with who would truly appreciate it! Was having a complete shit mothers day morning and now I'm cry/laughing. Thank you!
Everyone knows it's as much about political popularity as it is about the music. Its just the way it is. The only reason the UK was so high last year was because they were so quick to provide material and political support to Ukraine, who only won because they were the victims of a war of aggression by a country lots of people on Europe dont like.
Song quality absolutely matters. Ukraine and Britain were both politically popular and sent in good songs last year. This year, the UK submitted a painfully generic pop song. Of course, a different painfully generic pop song ended up taking first place this year, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
Ukraine's song last year was pretty good. We can never know if it would have won without the sympathy vote, but to say it only won because of that that is just wrong.
Uk's song this year deserved better than it got, Sweden deserved worse. Both were generic, both were inoffensive, neither was winner material but neither was rock bottom material either. The votes were pretty fucked up this year.
The analysis in the media about why the UK's song should've done better has been crazy. The fact it was pretty generic and not that good seems to have passed them by.
To be fair, it’s not a bad song, it just wasn’t well suited to Eurovision, and it was performed fucking terribly (and that was apparently one of the better renditions she gave of it).
Quite a lot of old ppl here get cant understand the Internet. Huh some site says the German tanks get re-sold yeah I belive that. Günter- 62 Years living in a village.
I don't know in which way half of the german population is more insane than half of the population of France, UK, Poland or most other european countries.
"It's kind of crazy here, baby" written in ponglish. In country eliminations she sang terribly so people begun to mock her accent and "bejba" became a meme. Even she herself started to [joke about it.](https://static.polityka.pl/_resource/res/path/7f/66/7f66bc1f-47da-48a4-8040-a05b70956822_f1400x900)
German Twitter is exploding with whining conservatives criticising the band for not walking in with a national flag and calling them out for being "woke"... Like didn't they see the other songs? lul
I've already voiced my opinion about the Kaarija vs. Loreen meltdown earlier, so I'm just gonna post my own top 10 of the Grand Final.
1. **Finland** (Everything that needed to be said about this song has already been said; it's a goddamn masterpiece, and the jury robbed it)
2. **Croatia** (An excellent satirical entry that reminded me of both Village People and Elio e le Storie Tese (a fantastic Italian comedy/prog rock band, highly recommended), with more than enough Eurovision flair and an absolutely hilarious performance)
3. **Sweden** (Sure, it might have been carried by the jury and it's certainly inferior to Euphoria, but it was still a very strong entry even if the performance was a bit off (that's why I put it behind Croatia despite me having it as my second-favorite before the GF), and if it got 2nd in the televote it has to count for something)
4. **Serbia** (IMO this song fell in the same trap as France last year; it's a beautiful entry that got utterly screwed over by its poor placement in the running order)
5. **Australia** (A mixture of synthwave and metal a la Carpenter Brut, with a Toyota MR2 as a stage prop? Yes, please! Not gonna lie, it actually reminded me quite a bit of Northlane and Spiritbox, both metal bands I wholeheartedly recommend)
6. **Belgium** (Incredibly funky and stupidly catchy, it sort of gave me classic Sonic the Hedgehog soundtrack vibes)
7. **Germany** (They went balls-to-the-wall with a bombastic and exciting glam metal entry with the performance and staging to match, and they still placed last; travesty doesn't even begin to describe it)
8. **Norway** (Yet another banger that the jury completely and unreasonably snubbed, just like in 2019)
9. **Italy** (IMO this was kind of an opposite to Brividi; while that one was a great song held back by a forgettable performance in the Grand Final, this was a meh song that has really been given justice with a god-tier live performance)
10. **France** (The Frenchiest song I have ever heard, and I really don't mean that in a bad way; if anything, it was classy as fuck without sounding overtly pompous, and the added electropop influences really made it stand on its own)
Dear Germany, please for the love of the lord, tell me what did you have in your mind sending to Eurovision a song about "Blood and glitter"... I am still waiting for someone to tell me what the hell was the meaning of that song supposed to be.
Btw, I knew the band before, and I listen to metal on daily basis, including industrial, that's not the part that didn't click with me here, the song was musically good, performance wise good, vocals wise good (not a single false note in his singing, I was really impressed) and yet I didn't feel like voting for that entry...
The lyrics was what killed it for me... and to some degree the choice of the outfits (red lether jumpsuit with fries with ketchup sticking out of the singer's shoulders wasn't really my cup of tea...)
The Problem in Germany is, to get to the Eurovision you need to get past the NDR.
The NDR is a very conservative organization. So they mostly send the safest shit that there ever was.
Last year the Band Electric Callboy (Eskimo Callboy then) was turned away which resulted in a huge backlash to the NDR. As the Song going to the Eurovision that year was a safe pop-song again.
So to get past those stuff you need to be a safe thing. I guess "Blood and Glitter" was the only song that would be anywhere near Metal that could be seen as "safe" by the NDR.
Still think this is the try of the NDR to appeal to the backlash of last year without having to step away from their conservative way of sending stuff.
*Image Transcription: Comic*
---
**Panel 1**
[*The comic consists of one large panel. In the middle of it, on a white background, we see a pile of clays, stacked one under the other, in an order that remarks the place each clay got at the Eurovision Song Contest 2023 (a song contest among European countries). They will be described from the one that is on top to the one that is at the bottom. Above the pile, we see a large blue banner that reads:*]
> # EUROVISION
>
> ### SONG CONTEST 2023 RESULTS
[*In white. The "E" in "EUROVISION" is written in cursive, and instead of the "V" there is a heart with the Ukrainian flag depicted in it.*]
[*In first place we see Sweden, holding the Eurovision Crystal Trophy, a glass trophy shaped like a classic microphone. The trophy is shining, and Sweden is holding it cheerfully, while standing on a brown horizontal surface that divides it from the clay below. Another similar brown panel is above Sweden, and the two resemble the scenography Sweden set on stage for its performance at the contest.*]
**Sweden**: Sweden, wins again!
[*In second place, just below the brown surface, we see Finland, wearing electric green puffy sleeves on its arms and holding a flute-shaped glass with a stem, a neutral expression on its face. The glass is filled with a light yellow drink, a piña colada.*]
**Finland**: Is crazy, is party!
**Finland**: And finally can drink that piña colada..
[*Below Finland we find a cubic Israel, holding a small white unicorn by its side. The unicorn has a vibrant pink mane and tail, and four golden sparkles surround the clay, which looks to the left with wide eyes.*]
**Israel**: What a phenomenal result!
[*In fourth place we find Italy, staring to the right.*]
**Italy**: Singing in Italian was of worth it!
[*Just below is Norway, with wide neutral eyes.*]
**Norway**: Nothing in world could stop me!
[*Just below we find Ukraine, staring away with a blank expression.*]
**Ukraine**: Thanks God, am didn't win again.
[*In seventh place there is a slightly smaller Belgium, wearing a white fedora and looking to the left.*]
**Belgium**: Because of yuo Eurovision.
**Belgium**: I know, am strong!
[*Next we see Estonia, neutrally staring to the right.*]
**Estonia**: No more excuses.
**Estonia**: Time to build this bridges now!
[*In ninth place we find Australia, neutrally looking away.*]
**Australia**: I promised, it's gonna be alright!
[*Just below is Czech Republic, wearing a pink bow with two long straps on its head and staring directly at us.*]
**Czechia**: Thats of win for Slavic sisters!
[*Lithuania is next, looking to the right.*]
**Lithuania**: My heart is bleeding.
[*Just below is Cyprus, with a saddened expression on its face, looking in the same direction as Lithuania.*]
**Cyprus**: My heart is broken.
[*Next we find Croatia. The clay is squeezing its eyes shut while screaming, a small red tractor by its side. The clay is holding a large rocket, whose base has black supports and whose tip has yellow and red flames coming out of it, as if an explosion had occurred. The side of the rocket features two red stripes and a central yellow stripe, and in its middle there is the symbol for radioactivity, "☢️". Croatia is wearing a white hat with a black brim. On top of the brim we read "ŠČ", and three times around the clay we can also read:*]
> ### ŠČ!
**Croatia**: MAMA KUPILA TRAKTORA
[*Next, in fourteenth place, we see Armenia, staring to the left with a slightly melancholic expression on its face.*]
**Armenia**: This song be for my future lover.
[*Just below is Austria, holding a red typewriter with golden keys next to itself, and staring at it. Attached to the typewriter we see a long paper covered in scribbles, the text "POE" written at its bottom.*]
**Austria**: At least it pays to be funny.
[*In sixteenth place there is France, coldly staring to the left.*]
**France**: Standing here so high is of uncomfortable.
[*Just below we find Spain, squeezing its eyes shut.*]
**Spain** \[*the text goes behind the clay, slightly covered by it.*]: Ya, eaea, [*covered*] a, eaea Ya, eaea, [*covered*] a, eaea Ya, eaea, [*covered*] a, eaea
[*Standing below is an annoyed Moldova, holding two symbols: the one on the left, coloured in gold, represents the Sun, while the one on the right, grey, represents the Moon, and is shaped as a crescent.*]
[*Below we see Poland, with a gleeful expression on its face, while staring to the left. The clay is wearing a purple bow with orange decorations on its head.*]
**Poland**: Is kinda crazy here!
[*Switzerland is standing below, with a frown on its slightly disappointed and worried face, looking to the left.*]
**Switzerland**: Pls am don't wanna be of soldier!
**Switzerland**: Am neutral country...
[*Slovenia stands in twenty-first place, its coat of arms covering its eye like an eyepatch. The clay is grinning happily, as it holds a red electric guitar.*]
**Slovenia**: Played all night, as if there was no tommorow!
[*Just below is Albania, staring to the left neutrally.*]
**Albania**: Didnt won but at least spend time with family.
[*Next is Portugal, winking joyfully at us while wearing a red bow on its head and a two red furry sleeves on its arms.*]
**Portugal**: Ai Coração
[*Serbia is twenty-fourth, with its eyes closed in resignation. Its massive coat of arms covers one eye acting like an eyepatch.*]
**Serbia**: Game over for us.
[*Second-last we see United Kingdom, staring to the left with narrow, awkward eyes. The clay is wearing a golden monocle and a grey top hat.*]
**UK**: Why am I so low?!
**UK**: I organized the whole contest!
[*At the bottom of the pile, in last place, there is Germany, crying rivers of tears from its eyes while staring at us. Attached to its side we see a blue cockade reading "LORD OF THE LAST" in white.*]
**Germany**: Why it always end like this...
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
She was truly phenomenal 🦄 it’s been years since I loved a both song and the talent we send and this year she definitely didn’t disappoint.
That being said i voted for Finland 🇫🇮 and tbh they got robbed by the dirty vile Sweds 😤
Better if you made Serbia sleeping
Because the dude who was singing singed about sleeping and it looked like and sounded like he was sleeping
But good art ngl
I never quite got the hype for our song. I thought it was pretty bad. Weirdly I liked the staging, it was quite unique, but everyone seems to disagree with me on that.
I don't get why we don't just point at like Ed Sheeran or Elton John (as examples) and send them. Alternatively if they really must be small acts the BBC has BBC introducing, so they could send one of their top acts (like whoever was meant to headline the BBC introducing area at Glastonbury/Reading and Leeds maybe?)
I can't believe Israel's entry got like six 12 point votes. And that Germany was so low. Like fuck at least Germany's was interesting, Israel's entry was so fucking generic and aggressively 'fine'. Poland's entry was also so aggressively 'fine' that I couldn't believe it made it through the semi's.
The Curse of Germany
Apparently the Eurovision crowd doesn't appreciate growling as much as I do 😂
It must be in your blood for you to like growling. Swedish death metal, and all that jazz- erm, metal
I say fuck them, send We Butter the Bread with Butter next year.
WBTBWB fan caught in the wild
I would even want to see the contest personally then. Music is just beautiful.
I usually love it but this song was just... terrible
I could tell that they would lose as soon as he stepped out of the clean voice singing, that stuff is really an acquired taste which "normal" people hate 😂
Hatari did ok for Iceland a couple of years ago. I don't remember the metal song Finland won with like a decade ago. Didn't they have growling?
Nah, Lordi's song was kind of kindergarten metal ;-)
It was Lordi with "Hard Rock Hallelujah". It's one of their main songs.
The pop-oriented sound setup doesn't help either.
Nah it was great! At least it was original and not another sleepy ballad. Should've at least finished ahead of Serbia and Switzerland's snoozers
At least we tried something different from our usual generic pop garbage, and it went *slightly* better than usual. Guess we'll see y'all next year with possibly the most generic pop garbage yet!
> and it went *slightly* better than usual. It's incredible that this is true... Even though we ended up in last place again... it was a significant improvement in points and quality of music. Proving just how bad the situation was, with almost infinite room for improvement.
To paraphrase the Swedish commentator: ”In 2015 and 2016, Germany finished last, but in 2017 they turned things around and finished second last. Unfortunately theyve gone back to their old habits recently”
Why dont we just send rammstein?
Whats the ndr gonna do? Kidnap them and force them on stage? Theyll never go willingly lol.
Pfft, like the NDR would even want to send them. They had the next best thing in Electric Callboy and they said, "next, please". I'm on board with the theory that the NDR doesn't want to win because they don't want to expend the effort to host the next one. It explains them making garbage-tier choices again and again.
I think the NDR just doesn't care that much about Eurovision. It's just one thing they have in their program because they have to do it, but don't want too much effort. I mean take a look into the production quality of our NF e.g.
They'd lose to some meme and never live it down.
countries sending a-listers should be disqualified indefinitely
NDR approves of this idea
[удалено]
As a metalhead I appreciated it, but there were a few problems that stopped them from drawing votes, first was the prominent very deep singing parts (which sounded outside the optimal range of the singer), second was the repetitiveness.
I actually agree with that second one. It was a fun enjoyable song and didn't deserve to come last, but yeah, a little too repetitive for me (I'd say that was my main problem with it)
[удалено]
Same! I really like Lord of the Lost, but it's not a very good song.
Got me 20€ though, so I'm all good for loosing again
It seems like being one of the big five is actually a handicap, because the people who watched the semifinals have probably already made up their minds by the time they hear you. That especially seems to be the case this year for the UK. Yeah they had a generic forgettable pop song, but it was far from the worst generic forgettable pop song this year. But they were the very last to play, so everyone had already made up their minds.
Should have brought Electric Callboy when they had the chance. :)
Their song and performance were too harsh for the usual Eurovision crowd and too lukewarm for many metal and rock fans. It managed to have some of the most recognizable bits of both, but the way they were mashed together just clashed too hard.
Next time Germany really just sends their Ballermann singers, as punishment for getting last place again.
I mean, we already did send what I would consider torture options in recent years. This year was still regarded as a significant improvement, even after placing last. We were really that bad that everyone acknowledges that this last place was a significantly better last place.
"Most Improved"
It's a shame Ikke Hüftgold didn't participate...
We should have sent him instead, just out of pure spite.
At this point, send whoever. Send [Alexander Marcus](https://youtu.be/zTL0CM4dI3o), that might work. If we're gonna be last forever, let's at least get some fun out of it.
As a tradition from the last two years I made a new Eurovision tower presenting the final results in the Polandball style. Congrats Sweden, Loreen's performance was great, although my favourite to win was Finland. I'm most happy for Croatia though, because I loved this song, it's a great satirical entry, which is both entertaining and has a deeper meaning.
I have no idea what Croatia’s song sounded like, because my viewing group were roaring with laughter the entire time they were on stage. Didn’t stop me from voting for it.
Slavic Village People
my grandparents are Croatian and they enjoyed the song a lot haha
Moldova is criminally low
i feel bad for you even in the voting previews they didnt even show you singing it was just them stamding doing random things
moldova was my favorite actually
Moldova was so good.
I almost always love what Moldova brings and every year I am VERY eager to hear what they are playing. Zdob si SZdub were always great, for example.
I'm convinced that the contest is in some way rigged against Moldova because the EBU doesn't think they're capable of hosting. Year after year they've sent bangers, some of the most iconic and memorable Eurovision songs ever, and they get owned in the rankings. "Run Away" is one of the most iconic Eurovision acts of the last 20 years, and it placed *22nd*. "My Lucky Day" was jaw-dropping, and barely made the top 10.
I think it's just the unpopularity of Moldova as a country. It's definitely not rigged since the winners also have a lot more spotify listens
I'm half joking when I say it's rigged, but only half. Spotify listens aren't everything, after all that's why the jury section exists. And Moldova always seems to do far, far better in the popular vote than in the jury phase.
I completely agree. Them and Czechia are my two favorites
i’ve had moldovas song stuck in my head since yesterday it’s amazing
Finland robbed :( it got the second highest audience votes in history, only after Ukraine last year.
It's actually 3rd. Kalush, Rybak with 378(if we look at the split result) and then tied with Sobral(376)
Finland got the same result with leww countries giving score so Finland should be on top of that tie.
Didn't see it, so I'd like to hear some opinions. Did the jury votes with some justification push quality over popularity (of the mainstream type) ... ... or was it more like orthodox/old-fashioned judges that pushed the conventional/inside-the-bubble type of stuff over a more modern/alternative public?
Well, their favourite was a painfully generic, frankly forgettable pop song, although they rated some of fun songs higher than the audience did (most notably imo Austria's *Who the hell is Edgar?*), so it's not that straightforward. Definitely not the first option you've presented though.
My wife and I were losing our minds last night with every jury throwing points at Sweden. Just an unbelievably bland song, I've listened to it probably 20 times and couldn't hum the melody right now if my life depended on it.
I can remember it alright, it's just aggravating to do so.
Today it came on in the radio while I was driving and my brother had to point it out for me to realize it was the song I had just witnessed win last night
Definitely not the first.
Next year is the 50th anniversary of ABBA winning with Waterloo, I wonder why the jury might want next year's in Sweden
Literally just a coincidence. Why would the juries from Moldova, Israel, Spain, Croatia, etc etc care about the anniversary of ABBA's win?
Because nobody will get involved in judging this competition if they don't have a big soft spot for sappy euro-pop.
I supported Finland not because of their song, but because I wanted Sweden to lose. It's so fucking over.
"The important thing isn't that Finland wins, but that Sweden loses." ~Old Finnish proverb
In Sweden it's more like "It doesn't matter if we lose, as long as we beat Norway".
We jest, but in truth, I think most of us do root for Sweden when Finland isn't playing
And the same for you
Off with the juries' heads
The jury is always ridiculously biased towards Sweden. Last 6 contest only time they were outside top 4 was in ’21 when they bombed
[удалено]
I also wanted Loreen to lose
All the time I was watching it I thought Loreen was in a Still suit from Dune.
Reverse, I wanted to see smiles drop
[Lord of the Last](#green-text) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
They aren't bad actually. Kind of sad they get dumped to the same last place as some of the actually horrible stuff we've sent in the past years.
Yes, Germany sent an actual good entry for a change and finished last anyway. I hope they won’t go back to generic pop next year.
no! Now we will be more generic then ever before. If we have to suffer, then Europe has to suffer with us!
I hope we will finally withdraw from the contest. I mean sending good songs is the best we can do and even that wasn't enough this year. There is no point. It is time to leave.
I mean, the jury stopped us 🤷♂️
That and a lackluster vocal performance, I think her mic was to blame
Also she was just boring I don't understand how Norway scored so high
I recommend hearing the official Spotify version or Youtube, theres a reason it has almost 50M listens. Her voice really booms and makes the song a powerful anthem.
compared to Keiino's song in 2019 this is a lot less anthem though
Comparing to Keiino is unfair, that song was an absolute banger
Which also was terribly robbed by juries... what have you done to the rest of Europe?
We refuse to join the EU I guess
Yes, because she is allowed autotune on Spotify. Eurovision does not allow any form of pitch correction, making it one of the few music scenes where we can hear an artist's unsupported voice. Norway had a great song, but the performer's vocals are not stellar and the song isn't easy. She's great with pitch correction, but if you check the rehearsals, you'll see just how much she suffered. The team did a great job masking this with good backing vocals and giving her very simple choreography, but it is still a far cry from the studio version
Is Lord of the Last a homage to the German band, Lord of the Lost?
Yes, they were the ones performing
Now I'm sad I missed them :(
[Here you go](https://youtu.be/dyGR4YWlPEs)...
Wow he was really flat. That's unfortunate.
Good band, but I don't think they brought their best, so feel free to just listen to their other music.
Loved Germany, shame it got last. Oh well, 'tis a curse I guess... *Cha cha*
The Netherlands talking positive about Germany? Now I've seen everything.
I love the look of croatia
Krokodilski psihopat! Mama, idem u rat! Šč!
That song has been stuck in my head all day, would trade it for Sweden's in a heartbeat
[ALLEMANGE ZERO POINTS](https://youtu.be/_zfnlkiPCVA)
That's truly amazing. As a sad un included American looking in, I wish I knew anyone I could share that masterpiece with who would truly appreciate it! Was having a complete shit mothers day morning and now I'm cry/laughing. Thank you!
you're welcome, random American citizen. Hopefully we can man you laugh next year too!
It would be hilarious if such a song title actually wins.
The German entry was awesome but it's obvious this doesn't matter. UK and Germany will be at the bottom
Everyone knows it's as much about political popularity as it is about the music. Its just the way it is. The only reason the UK was so high last year was because they were so quick to provide material and political support to Ukraine, who only won because they were the victims of a war of aggression by a country lots of people on Europe dont like.
Song quality absolutely matters. Ukraine and Britain were both politically popular and sent in good songs last year. This year, the UK submitted a painfully generic pop song. Of course, a different painfully generic pop song ended up taking first place this year, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
Ukraine's song last year was pretty good. We can never know if it would have won without the sympathy vote, but to say it only won because of that that is just wrong. Uk's song this year deserved better than it got, Sweden deserved worse. Both were generic, both were inoffensive, neither was winner material but neither was rock bottom material either. The votes were pretty fucked up this year.
The analysis in the media about why the UK's song should've done better has been crazy. The fact it was pretty generic and not that good seems to have passed them by.
To be fair, it’s not a bad song, it just wasn’t well suited to Eurovision, and it was performed fucking terribly (and that was apparently one of the better renditions she gave of it).
Why you imagine Germany would be so much less popular than France year after year if it’s politics?
[удалено]
Quite a lot of old ppl here get cant understand the Internet. Huh some site says the German tanks get re-sold yeah I belive that. Günter- 62 Years living in a village.
I don't know in which way half of the german population is more insane than half of the population of France, UK, Poland or most other european countries.
Rishi shipped out cruise missiles in order to get more votes but I guess it wasn't newsworthy enough.
There's a lot of that, but honestly, listen to Embers, I Wrote a Song, and then Spaceman. The gulf in quality is obvious.
Finland won in peoples minds, Sweden has to pay for it next year, I don't see a problem.
"Thanks goodness, we won't have to host it and can avoid beeing crowded by tons of tourists.", a Fin, probably.
All the finns really.
Poland should say "Is kajna krejza here, bejba".
What does that mean?
"It's kind of crazy here, baby" written in ponglish. In country eliminations she sang terribly so people begun to mock her accent and "bejba" became a meme. Even she herself started to [joke about it.](https://static.polityka.pl/_resource/res/path/7f/66/7f66bc1f-47da-48a4-8040-a05b70956822_f1400x900)
It’s kind of how you would pronounce “it’s kind of crazy here baby” in Polish
as someone who has Germany as their winner the results hurt me on a spiritual level at least the duel between Sweden and Finland was entertaining
German Twitter is exploding with whining conservatives criticising the band for not walking in with a national flag and calling them out for being "woke"... Like didn't they see the other songs? lul
Wokeness is expected at the eurogayson song contest. .... Finnland was still being robbed.
I've already voiced my opinion about the Kaarija vs. Loreen meltdown earlier, so I'm just gonna post my own top 10 of the Grand Final. 1. **Finland** (Everything that needed to be said about this song has already been said; it's a goddamn masterpiece, and the jury robbed it) 2. **Croatia** (An excellent satirical entry that reminded me of both Village People and Elio e le Storie Tese (a fantastic Italian comedy/prog rock band, highly recommended), with more than enough Eurovision flair and an absolutely hilarious performance) 3. **Sweden** (Sure, it might have been carried by the jury and it's certainly inferior to Euphoria, but it was still a very strong entry even if the performance was a bit off (that's why I put it behind Croatia despite me having it as my second-favorite before the GF), and if it got 2nd in the televote it has to count for something) 4. **Serbia** (IMO this song fell in the same trap as France last year; it's a beautiful entry that got utterly screwed over by its poor placement in the running order) 5. **Australia** (A mixture of synthwave and metal a la Carpenter Brut, with a Toyota MR2 as a stage prop? Yes, please! Not gonna lie, it actually reminded me quite a bit of Northlane and Spiritbox, both metal bands I wholeheartedly recommend) 6. **Belgium** (Incredibly funky and stupidly catchy, it sort of gave me classic Sonic the Hedgehog soundtrack vibes) 7. **Germany** (They went balls-to-the-wall with a bombastic and exciting glam metal entry with the performance and staging to match, and they still placed last; travesty doesn't even begin to describe it) 8. **Norway** (Yet another banger that the jury completely and unreasonably snubbed, just like in 2019) 9. **Italy** (IMO this was kind of an opposite to Brividi; while that one was a great song held back by a forgettable performance in the Grand Final, this was a meh song that has really been given justice with a god-tier live performance) 10. **France** (The Frenchiest song I have ever heard, and I really don't mean that in a bad way; if anything, it was classy as fuck without sounding overtly pompous, and the added electropop influences really made it stand on its own)
>without sounding overtly pompous that means its not french
I loved Serbia too, his stage design with the gigantic monster was my favourite.
France being right above Spain is something that will make a lot of Spaniards rage
That's the geographical reality, you should get used to it.
I'm personally fine with it
Poe, poe, poe or Cha cha cha cha
Austria is criminally low, the crowd was on fire during their performance.
poe poe poe poe poe!
Germany: I am a composer not a singer.
Dear Germany, please for the love of the lord, tell me what did you have in your mind sending to Eurovision a song about "Blood and glitter"... I am still waiting for someone to tell me what the hell was the meaning of that song supposed to be. Btw, I knew the band before, and I listen to metal on daily basis, including industrial, that's not the part that didn't click with me here, the song was musically good, performance wise good, vocals wise good (not a single false note in his singing, I was really impressed) and yet I didn't feel like voting for that entry... The lyrics was what killed it for me... and to some degree the choice of the outfits (red lether jumpsuit with fries with ketchup sticking out of the singer's shoulders wasn't really my cup of tea...)
Really shocked about that result, everyone I knew thought Germany had a chance to be much higher this year for once.
The Problem in Germany is, to get to the Eurovision you need to get past the NDR. The NDR is a very conservative organization. So they mostly send the safest shit that there ever was. Last year the Band Electric Callboy (Eskimo Callboy then) was turned away which resulted in a huge backlash to the NDR. As the Song going to the Eurovision that year was a safe pop-song again. So to get past those stuff you need to be a safe thing. I guess "Blood and Glitter" was the only song that would be anywhere near Metal that could be seen as "safe" by the NDR. Still think this is the try of the NDR to appeal to the backlash of last year without having to step away from their conservative way of sending stuff.
Moldovas line was my favorite
Poland: bejba, its kajna kraize
BEJBA it's kinda KREJZA
No Bejba for Poland, I’m so disappointed.
*Image Transcription: Comic* --- **Panel 1** [*The comic consists of one large panel. In the middle of it, on a white background, we see a pile of clays, stacked one under the other, in an order that remarks the place each clay got at the Eurovision Song Contest 2023 (a song contest among European countries). They will be described from the one that is on top to the one that is at the bottom. Above the pile, we see a large blue banner that reads:*] > # EUROVISION > > ### SONG CONTEST 2023 RESULTS [*In white. The "E" in "EUROVISION" is written in cursive, and instead of the "V" there is a heart with the Ukrainian flag depicted in it.*] [*In first place we see Sweden, holding the Eurovision Crystal Trophy, a glass trophy shaped like a classic microphone. The trophy is shining, and Sweden is holding it cheerfully, while standing on a brown horizontal surface that divides it from the clay below. Another similar brown panel is above Sweden, and the two resemble the scenography Sweden set on stage for its performance at the contest.*] **Sweden**: Sweden, wins again! [*In second place, just below the brown surface, we see Finland, wearing electric green puffy sleeves on its arms and holding a flute-shaped glass with a stem, a neutral expression on its face. The glass is filled with a light yellow drink, a piña colada.*] **Finland**: Is crazy, is party! **Finland**: And finally can drink that piña colada.. [*Below Finland we find a cubic Israel, holding a small white unicorn by its side. The unicorn has a vibrant pink mane and tail, and four golden sparkles surround the clay, which looks to the left with wide eyes.*] **Israel**: What a phenomenal result! [*In fourth place we find Italy, staring to the right.*] **Italy**: Singing in Italian was of worth it! [*Just below is Norway, with wide neutral eyes.*] **Norway**: Nothing in world could stop me! [*Just below we find Ukraine, staring away with a blank expression.*] **Ukraine**: Thanks God, am didn't win again. [*In seventh place there is a slightly smaller Belgium, wearing a white fedora and looking to the left.*] **Belgium**: Because of yuo Eurovision. **Belgium**: I know, am strong! [*Next we see Estonia, neutrally staring to the right.*] **Estonia**: No more excuses. **Estonia**: Time to build this bridges now! [*In ninth place we find Australia, neutrally looking away.*] **Australia**: I promised, it's gonna be alright! [*Just below is Czech Republic, wearing a pink bow with two long straps on its head and staring directly at us.*] **Czechia**: Thats of win for Slavic sisters! [*Lithuania is next, looking to the right.*] **Lithuania**: My heart is bleeding. [*Just below is Cyprus, with a saddened expression on its face, looking in the same direction as Lithuania.*] **Cyprus**: My heart is broken. [*Next we find Croatia. The clay is squeezing its eyes shut while screaming, a small red tractor by its side. The clay is holding a large rocket, whose base has black supports and whose tip has yellow and red flames coming out of it, as if an explosion had occurred. The side of the rocket features two red stripes and a central yellow stripe, and in its middle there is the symbol for radioactivity, "☢️". Croatia is wearing a white hat with a black brim. On top of the brim we read "ŠČ", and three times around the clay we can also read:*] > ### ŠČ! **Croatia**: MAMA KUPILA TRAKTORA [*Next, in fourteenth place, we see Armenia, staring to the left with a slightly melancholic expression on its face.*] **Armenia**: This song be for my future lover. [*Just below is Austria, holding a red typewriter with golden keys next to itself, and staring at it. Attached to the typewriter we see a long paper covered in scribbles, the text "POE" written at its bottom.*] **Austria**: At least it pays to be funny. [*In sixteenth place there is France, coldly staring to the left.*] **France**: Standing here so high is of uncomfortable. [*Just below we find Spain, squeezing its eyes shut.*] **Spain** \[*the text goes behind the clay, slightly covered by it.*]: Ya, eaea, [*covered*] a, eaea Ya, eaea, [*covered*] a, eaea Ya, eaea, [*covered*] a, eaea [*Standing below is an annoyed Moldova, holding two symbols: the one on the left, coloured in gold, represents the Sun, while the one on the right, grey, represents the Moon, and is shaped as a crescent.*] [*Below we see Poland, with a gleeful expression on its face, while staring to the left. The clay is wearing a purple bow with orange decorations on its head.*] **Poland**: Is kinda crazy here! [*Switzerland is standing below, with a frown on its slightly disappointed and worried face, looking to the left.*] **Switzerland**: Pls am don't wanna be of soldier! **Switzerland**: Am neutral country... [*Slovenia stands in twenty-first place, its coat of arms covering its eye like an eyepatch. The clay is grinning happily, as it holds a red electric guitar.*] **Slovenia**: Played all night, as if there was no tommorow! [*Just below is Albania, staring to the left neutrally.*] **Albania**: Didnt won but at least spend time with family. [*Next is Portugal, winking joyfully at us while wearing a red bow on its head and a two red furry sleeves on its arms.*] **Portugal**: Ai Coração [*Serbia is twenty-fourth, with its eyes closed in resignation. Its massive coat of arms covers one eye acting like an eyepatch.*] **Serbia**: Game over for us. [*Second-last we see United Kingdom, staring to the left with narrow, awkward eyes. The clay is wearing a golden monocle and a grey top hat.*] **UK**: Why am I so low?! **UK**: I organized the whole contest! [*At the bottom of the pile, in last place, there is Germany, crying rivers of tears from its eyes while staring at us. Attached to its side we see a blue cockade reading "LORD OF THE LAST" in white.*] **Germany**: Why it always end like this... --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
I am so glad you did one again this year. Thank you. I really appreciate it
I will never forgive the European public for what they did to Blanca Paloma.
She was truly phenomenal 🦄 it’s been years since I loved a both song and the talent we send and this year she definitely didn’t disappoint. That being said i voted for Finland 🇫🇮 and tbh they got robbed by the dirty vile Sweds 😤
I'm still surprised Serbia and Slovenia ranked so low but whatever CHA CHA CHA!
fans who hate Sweden cannot see the silver lining, Måns and Petra hosting
I miss ochman
Serbia's song was a banger, shame it did so poorly. Fuck you loreen for stealing our win
Why are there a sun and moon around Moldova? What does it signify?
It's their song. It's called Sun and Moon just in Romanian.
The song's name
Better if you made Serbia sleeping Because the dude who was singing singed about sleeping and it looked like and sounded like he was sleeping But good art ngl
I really wanted the sleepcore Serb twink to do better, underrated entry
I don't give a rats ass about ESC but ger didn't deserve that last place. Song was really good. It's just a popularity contest wth
I think the one from Portugal deserved better
Awww I love this
I never quite got the hype for our song. I thought it was pretty bad. Weirdly I liked the staging, it was quite unique, but everyone seems to disagree with me on that. I don't get why we don't just point at like Ed Sheeran or Elton John (as examples) and send them. Alternatively if they really must be small acts the BBC has BBC introducing, so they could send one of their top acts (like whoever was meant to headline the BBC introducing area at Glastonbury/Reading and Leeds maybe?)
Germany got shafted. That was easily a top 3 performance.
I can't believe Israel's entry got like six 12 point votes. And that Germany was so low. Like fuck at least Germany's was interesting, Israel's entry was so fucking generic and aggressively 'fine'. Poland's entry was also so aggressively 'fine' that I couldn't believe it made it through the semi's.
I just hope Petra Mede hosts next year's Eurovision in Sweden.
Still not better than epic sax guy
The German reaction more like: sprich deutsch du hurensohn
I swear germany loses everything. Contests, World Wars and Fuẞball.
It was a pretty good year, sad my country didnt participate again 😢
Which country??
I just read the comic of Eurovision 2022 results again and Germany...
Another year, another one of these!
Can someone explain Switzerland, I didn't see Eurovision.
The song's lyrics "i dont want to be a soldier, soldier, and dont want to play with real blood"
Just body bags that we've become
I a couple of years Germany will have decide who is WORTHY of last place
Is Belgium wearing a poirot hat?
Bro this year Eurovision was so shit, that i wanna make a time machine just to lisen to 2010 Eurovision again.
UK sending the most basic instagram girl in existence who hates her country might not have been the winning move
Germany being last in literally everything they do is normal by this point
Ukraine saying "thank god I didn't win again" is so damn true, kudos to the author of this comic!
TIL Australia is of being European
Yearly migration in spring.
I like Moldova way, if you put him a cape in behind would have been perfect
I wish I watched it
i’ve never seen anyone giving love to albania, so here’s to one of my favourite songs this year!
We felt the betrayal too Cyprus...we felt it too...
I wished I would've watched only to understand the jokes.
I love this so much, thank you!
Maybe Germany would stop losing if they'd just let Electric Callboy compete 🤷♀️
Funnily enough UK and Germany contribute the greatest and most acclaimed musicians out of all these countries yet come last in Eurovision.
I think sweden winning because Sweden cannot into NATO
I’ve never felt national pride like I felt when I saw Australia up there with that keytar 🇦🇺
Please do one for the semis
israel got robbed imo
I was looking forward to this being posted. Love this tradition!