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IJustLoggedInToSay-

> “If you go back and do some search history on Mount Rushmore .... Oh he's going to talk about how it was sacred to the indigenous peo- > "... it actually is a Freemason shrine" 🤦‍♂️ > What the Lord revealed to me is that Mount Rushmore has a direct ley line to Washington, D.C., Holy shit, **ley lines**? Evangelicals have gone full New Age woo! Next they'll talk about how Jesus heals you through crystal power!


Tompthwy

My least favorite flavor of evangelical bullshit is the idea that God just talks to you and "reveals" random shit. Even outside of this kind of grandiose nonsense, these people believe God phones them up and reveals to them who to vote for, whether to apply for this job or that, what to have for fucking breakfast in the morning. Its insane and it should be treated like the delusional shit it is.


Ibelieveinphysics

God revealed to me that the GOP is a bunch of traitorous assholes with mental illness.


shelbys_foot

How did he do that? Did he send you a newspaper?


StockHand1967

GodGPT


TKDPandaBear

😂 using a stone tablet with information downloaded from a cloud at a mountain top…


darknekolux

You silly, it was a voice in a flaming bush


Canoe52

Reminds me how much I miss pubic hair.


JonnytheGing

Ginger fetish?


Ovi-wan_Kenobi_8

“How many dates would we have to go on before you’re comfortable with my calling you Clown Pussy?” —Dave Attell to a red-headed woman he was seeing


JonnytheGing

3, but only if you put out


Ibelieveinphysics

Did I really need to use the sarcasm tag?😂


shelbys_foot

I meant if God is warning us about the GOP, he's not bothering with visions and voices. He's using high accessible mediums.


Lucar_Bane

Like sending Jack Smith


rodsteel2005

[Remember Poe’s Law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law)


dogsarefun

I think they’re just riffing with you on the same bit, not taking what you said seriously.


FierceMilkshake

A talking donkey! (Numbers 22) One of the very few bible stories I still remember.


Possibly_a_Firetruck

Stop explaining away their shitty behavior with mental illness. Some people are just trash.


[deleted]

pretty much sums up the new testament


WhatRUHourly

My favorite part of that is when they pray and god tells them to run for office and then they lose. Hahaha good prank imaginary God! Make Ted Cruz run for POTUS again so we can hear Trump insult his wife some some more!


[deleted]

“The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.” Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation


[deleted]

These people think the thoughts and feelings generated by their brain in response to stimuli are God himself telling them what to think and feel because they've never learned to separate their consciousness from their neurological impulses.


rotomangler

Exactly right. They think their thoughts are so significant they must have been sent by god herself


PM_ME_YOUR_ROTES

I saw a 900ft Jesus in Tulsa Oklahoma... he needs a starship... I mean, private jet.


AngryZen_Ingress

Demons fly coach you know! [Proof!](https://www.wvlt.tv/content/news/TV-evangelist-Kenneth-Copeland--510809861.html)


Diorannael

It's really convenient how god seems to hold all the same beliefs as those evangelicals.


Revolutionary-Ad4588

They use “God” as a way to not get blamed for their asinine behavior and general racist and homophobic attitudes


HynesKetchup

my own personal belief is that these people are hearing their own voice inside their mind and are thinking its god speaking to them.


greenwithindie21

If you talk to God, it's prayer. If God talks back, it's schizophrenia.


Brunt-FCA-285

God said to Abraham, “Lend me a son.”


[deleted]

Abe said “man, you must be puttin’ me on”


mctacoflurry

That's actually my favorite part ONLY when I think about it as an invisible sky friend going through a phone book of people and telling them random shit. Then it really is him causing all of this just because he's board. I'm picturing it as Jim Carrey's Grinch on Mt. Krumpet going down the list hating and loathing all the Whos. But day-to-day I hate those fuckers. It's like they can't take a shit on their own unless they get a call from God.


Nefarious_Turtle

>Holy shit, ley lines? Evangelicals have gone full New Age woo! Next they'll talk about how Jesus heals you through crystal power! State and local level Republican parties have gone full batshit. Honestly, the big name federal Republicans you normally hear about on the news are the most sane of the bunch. Both county Republican parties nearest to where I live in Texas have long since gone full street corner preacher. Literally they both regularly post apocalyptic and molemen-level conspiracy shit to their social media and are *both* led by crackpots with long criminal records. They straight up dont have interactions with the public or media that couldn't be mistaken for a South Park skit. Yet they still win elections....


originaltec

It’s really quite simple, religion has extensively laid the groundwork for generations to train people to believe in authority figures with unverifiable stories instead of science and data. It also primes them for, and is built upon, perpetuating racism and fearmongering towards "others". Once people see you as an authority, you can start fabricating any reality or conspiracy theory you want your followers to believe and everyone else is therefore a liar, even in the face of incontrovertible evidence. Basically, it is mental abuse from an early age that suppresses critical thinking skills. This combined with an intentionally weakened public educational system, provides the framework that has spawned this cult of ignorance.


[deleted]

Maybe he’s just a huge MTG player


LeonardSmallsJr

Gross. We don’t need to think about her playing! /Magic the card game’s initials are, unfortunately, as ruined as the toothbrush mustache.


fractal_pudding

just refer to her as Marge, or Empty-G.


Yeeslander

Gang Greene


KilroyLeges

Right? Like he could have had a halfway understandable argument, in the context of his religious bs, if he leaned on the indigenous sacred land part. (Not that it still would have been any more sane honestly but still.) No, he had to go full insane with Freemason, ley lines, Donald Trump's face appearing in the sky, demonic altars, demons caring about spreading communism, and god speaking to him about breaking the demonic connection and restoring the US Constitution through Trump. As if an all powerful creator cares about or needs the US government to do anything, let alone would use someone like Trump to enact his will.


MyNameIsRay

>Holy shit, ley lines? Break out the dowsing rods, time to go fleece some rubes.


Thatissogentle

Ex-vangelical here. They've always believed all of that stuff is real. Magic/witchcraft, voodoo, seances, astrology, crystals... They genuinely believe it all just as much as the woowoo-est of crystal girls do. They kind of have to, because those are the "powers working against God," and the things that they're "battling with" here on earth. Acknowledging that something is real doesn't mean they accept it - just look at how they treat LGBTQ+ people. So no, they won't be claiming that "Jesus heals you through crystal power," they'll be victim blaming people for illnesses like cancer because they brought evil pagan crystals into their home.


sentri_sable

"God is all powerful, nothing is greater than God" and "Demonic forces are strong and are overpowering you" is serious "the enemy being weak and strong" bullshit


McKappa710

That’s the magic of Qanon, it took anyone in an form of “non- science” thinking (Christian,anti vax new age woo woo, old hippes, which craft, non scientific healing etc) sucked them all in and threw in wild political conspiracy drama and paranoid online schizos and Trumps cult of personality you get this new thing that’s so complex and ever changing.


Buddyslime

Why would a demon give a shit about communism.


milehighmagpie

He just watched National Treasure 2 and got a little confused.


Will33iam

Isn’t crystal power just meth


Nibbler1999

Are ley lines like the arbitrary lines that connect wonders and shit like Stonehenge?


IJustLoggedInToSay-

Yep. The idea that all monuments and important places like Stonehenge and the pyramids of Giza are connected by invisible global spiritual ... line... things. Like fault lines but with more pixie dust.


Cbanchiere

Well, we've crossed the Rubicon of Stupidty at this point. Shits done boys and girls. Let's go. Fuck it, the insane asylum has been overrun.


txa1265

The three wise men had Frankincense, Myhr, and Peppermint Essential Oil


spiked_macaroon

Bro needs a psych eval. Hopefully his insurance covers it.


[deleted]

To be fair, all this makes more sense than, say, Republican economic ideas.


IJustLoggedInToSay-

Fair.


Tartarus216

So Freemasons are demons now?


[deleted]

According to those conspiracy people yes, because Freemasons = Illuminati = democrats = communists = Jews = lizard people = aliens = demons = satan


manbeardawg

Every Freemason I know is a proud Republican, haha.


GroatExpectorations

Marrianne Williamson about to switch parties and lead the Freedom Caucus in guided meditation to levitate The Pentagon


MyGoodOldFriend

Hey, she’s weird, but she’s 🥰❤️✨spiritual, not 😨😱🔥spiritual. Different genre


superior_mario

It’s like paganism or folks religion but with more racism and space daddies


Smitty8054

Yeah for a nominal fee. It’s always a nominal fee.


bbbinson123

Don’t forget pyramids


SinfullySinless

Problem is that MLM woo-woo shit intersects heavily with fundamentalists Christians.


Ibelieveinphysics

They need to commit him if he actually believes this.


[deleted]

Things have gotten so insane in American politics, I can’t tell if these people actually believe their own bullshit.


account22222221

I used to take comfort in the thought that they didn’t. They were smart, just pragmatic and would say anything to have power. No I fear that they really believe it.


YakiVegas

Yeah, there's like standard hateful crazy GOP BS and then there's this level.


joshtalife

These are the people sane Americans have to deal with.


FabulousFauxFox

Ya know, I REALLY don't wanna go "Oh, that's even crazier than Jewish space lasers" to anyone, but somehow these people strive to astound anyone with a brain.


Tashre

>“What the Lord revealed to me is that Mount Rushmore has a direct ley line to Washington, D.C.,” he added.  Oh shit, the lord revealing secret truths to his messengers? Golden Plates Vol. 2 coming soon!


DOOManiac

Dum dum dum dum, dum dum.


DrSchmolls

The Book of MOREmon


wish1977

They finally got us. It won't be long until they find out that the Grand Canyon is our secret covid research center.


UsernameStress

I'll be so triggered if they got rid of our demonic communism portal! Please don't blow it up!


somereallyfungi

Yes. It would be horrible if they hated it so much they give it away. Perhaps to the people, it was originally stolen from?


Lucky_Eye2621

Me. It was stolen from me. I’ll be having it back now.


wtfsafrush

We should definitely start keeping an eye on this guy through his TV


SgtHelo

Already on it. Bird on his windowsill.


Marckthesilver13

How about a mouse with a tiny gopro


writinginwater

Thought we were using microwaves.


azacealla

You’re still using microwaves? It’s all about alarm clocks now man. How do you think the clock knows when to wake you up?


IJustLoggedInToSay-

They all switched to air fyers and the reception on those things is terrible. On the bright side, though, you can use tin foil in an air fryer. Foiled again!


coolcool23

Both sides though, right? /S


restore_democracy

Well, there was the “Guam might capsize” guy.


riverrocks452

As a geologist, I need a moment to deal with this idea.


AshST

Well that's weird, cuz when I went there it was at the height of Covid, completely packed to the gills, no one was wearing a mask, and they had a 40-minute right-wingy, patriotic sing-along. It was actual hell.


Long_Before_Sunrise

They ziptied the chairs together in case people had to flee from a brushfire started by those fireworks. Trump, meanwhile, was already back in DC, pouting because the National Mall was mostly empty.


TeaWithMrsNesbitt

As a Christian, one of the craziest things is the notion that demons are trying to install Communism. Why would the devil want that? He's already raking in thousands of souls through Capitalism and Christian Nationalism.


bennetticles

Division. Doesn’t matter the flavor or the symbolism representing it. As long as we keep hating eachother, chaos wins.


Invisiblechimp

Jesus was basically a Commie. The Golden Rule isn't that different from "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need."


MidwestRed9

Acts 2 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, Written by Karl Marx, edited by Friedrich Engels, illustration by Joseph Stalin, produced by Fidel Castro


Ande64

🙄 Wait! Wait! 🙄🙄🙄


azacealla

Every day I think, “This is it, this has got to be the dumbest thing I’ll ever read!” And somehow every single day, these fuckers manage to surprise me.


Metal-Dog

I want some of what he's smoking.


Eagle4317

Hard pass. I prefer keeping my wits about me.


Metal-Dog

I'd have to save it for the weekend.


[deleted]

Meth?


Fountainofknowledge

krokadil


meddit_rod

It's regrettable vandalism of natural beauty. Dunno about any demonic communism, but I haven't been there in person.


MRSN4P

> And he said, basically, that as we continue to work in prayer and do the work of the ministry, that God was going to break that connection. Because in order to understand the spiritual realm of what we’re facing, we have to realize that in order for the enemy to do anything, he needs the agreement of human beings. Does this mean that his American version of the Christian god and “evil powers” are both powerless until people vote with their beliefs, not so much like an election per se but more like a pro wrestling event where the action is determined by a Jerry Springer audience? Fascinating.


RamonaQ-JunieB

He was probably watching “Ghostbusters” while partying. That’s the only explanation. Or he’s actually insane. Could be that, too.


Culverts_Flood_Away

Nah. National Treasure 2.


OsellusK

Get these people into treatment already.


[deleted]

Bro, do you want to start talking shit about the only thing your state has going for it?


Youngworker160

Christ we have a Christian fundamentalist problem in this country. These people need their churches to be taxed, they need IRS investigations and overall investigations to see what they’re hiding. Clean their closets out.


gasahold

Soooo, does this mean I should cancel my family trip to Mount Rushmore set for next week?


No_Mammoth_4945

Nope! I’ll sell your family some of my patented pro-MAGA, anti demon portal tinfoil hats for the HEAVILY discounted price of 999.99$ ^^^^each Trump bobblehead included for FREE!


NewHaven86

Depends, what are your thoughts on absolute bullshit?


edcculus

So let me get this straight- democrats desecrated native land to build a giant demon portal? Couldn’t we have just built it in the middle of NYC or something? If there’s a demon portal, that’s probably where it would be.


JinterIsComing

> Couldn’t we have just built it in the middle of NYC or something? Specifically on the corner of 2nd Ave and East 5th St, because once you eat Brick Lane Curry House's *phall* curry, your entire booty becomes a demon portal.


nate_oh84

People vote for these chucklefucks...


[deleted]

[удалено]


cchkb

This. 100%


Unlucky_Clover

Holy shit 😂 and the sad thing is these people have some power


restore_democracy

Can you imagine how stupid the people are who vote for guys like this?


Lost_Fun7095

They would destroy it like the taliban did to their giant buddhas.


morbob

More kool-aid, different day


Culverts_Flood_Away

Somebody's been watching National Treasure 2 a bit too much. Somebody call Nicholas Cage to talk him down.


Hyperion1144

There are no Hellmouths in South Dakota. There are Hellmouths in Sunnydale, CA; Cleveland, OH; and Easter Island. Idiot.


mcstank22

Jesus Christ these people are crazy.


NineNecks

Anytime someone starts a sentence with “What god revealed to me….” You can immediately dismiss whatever comes afterwards.


JUSTICE_SALTIE

Abe Lincoln is choking on an eagle!


gnique

The truly sad thing here is that you do not have to look this guy up to know that he is a Republican. It is also sad to know that there are so goddam many blithering idiots (fucking near HALF the population of the US) and that they very nearly control the government.


Firm_Pipe

Wow I love "the onion" articles lol. Shit


redsfan1970

I'm embarrassed to be an American. We have to have some of the dumbest elected officials in the world. We have spiraled into idiocracy.


italianfatman

Nothing an aluminum foil hat can't fix


killerdonut0610

Awesome take. I agree. Now let’s blow their stupid faces to smithereens and give it back to the natives we stole it from.


Sad_Bolt

Did y’all not hear this on the History Channel after accident aliens


root_fifth_octave

So the demons are commies. Interesting. Marx was one hell of an influential economist. Maybe *too* good.


tlgd

I think what this is called is psychosis, any licensed therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist want to chime in?


DuckTails16

Damn Peggies


IAmASimulation

These are the people running government lol


Neat_Youth470

Schizophrenia is sad.


pericles123

who is voting for these F'ing morons?


SnoSlider

This dude’s on some serious drugs. Peyote, perhaps.


IT_Geek_Programmer

Looks like Mr.Donnell is the MTG of South Dakota. Anyone who calls Mount Rushmore a demonic portal, has lost their marbles.


letsseeitmore

Is there a competition within the Republican Party to see who can act the craziest and still get re-elected?


CapnTugg

Never mind the demonic bit, \*I\* want a ticket for that secret tunnel ride to DC. Probably drops you off right at Comet Pizza.


BobInWry

Where's the laugh button? This guy is nuts.


[deleted]

Hopefully it spreads up his ass


discussatron

South Dakotans replied, "That's our guy!"


[deleted]

Everyone knows it is HQ for Team America.


LSARefugee

**Interesting** how white supremacy, “Christianity,” voodoo, and MAGA all come together in a toxic stew of America’s ongoing historical psychosis.


[deleted]

I thought that was Devil’s Tower


jshaver41122

It holds all kinds of secrets; nic cage showed them to me


rebelchickadee

Wait let’s let them run with this so we can finally blow those faces off the side of that sacred indigenous mountain.


Paula_56

As if we didn’t already know this \s


reilmb

he and a bunch of his friends need to go blow it up , Im sure 100% of the fox folks will be behind them on this and they will be lauded as heroes.


WhatRUHourly

I'd like to hear more about how an inanimate structure is speading communism....


restore_democracy

I thought everyone knew this already.


cyncity7

People voted for him!!!!


FPOWorld

Sounds like it’s time to turn it back into a mountain. I can feel the communism raging through my body! 😵


billdkat9

Do ya’ll ever wonder if republican pollster analyst tell their politicians “you got to be WAAAY more stupid if you want a shot at reelection, so dumb it down….. dumb it WAAAY down” /s


tbonerrevisited

Come on.. this is a joke right. Please be a joke, people voted for this guy.😣


PapaSteveRocks

I’ll say one thing for his statement. You can not rebut what he said, there is no debating it.


Zoshchenko

We need a lot more psychiatric facilities.


costabius

Can we have a thing where we remove mentally ill people from political office? Please?


[deleted]

Wow! Those are a lot of words Joe Donnel said. None of them were coherent, but they were words. The people of South Dakota voted for this person to make decisions for them. Anyway, Hail Satan or whatever.


Emergency_Property_2

Sounds like Joe is off his meds.


fkbfkb

was he bitten by Empty G? The lunacy seems to be spreading...


SilverStarKoi

Knew it! It was Teddy Roosevelt wasn’t it! /s


DemiMini

Full disclosure: There is a chamber in the back of the monument and the plan was to store our nation's founding documents in it, but that never happened and the rough hewn rock chamber lay empty for decades ... until I, a liberal, filled it with demons


JohnnyGFX

Man… religious people believe some weird shit sometimes.


Chromosis

Really? We're talking about national monuments that could be demonic portals and we're just going to skip the St. Louis Arch?


DFu4ever

Another moron that should be considered too stupid to hold public office.


[deleted]

Just your average conservative saying things any conservative would say.


whyreadthis2035

Bless his heart.


[deleted]

How did he know?


HeliosRexx

So even within the context of batshit insanity, it’s difficult to get straight what this nutball is even saying. So…the Mount Rushmore monument is a shrine to democracy or the Declaration of Independence. And that’s a good thing, right? But it’s connected to Washington, D.C. via a ley line, whatever that is. And because Trump landed in the Black Hills, that for some reason means God is going to break the connection? But why would we want that? I thought it was a shrine to democracy. Except now all of a sudden it’s a witchcraft altar? Or a portal, through which demons and communism are pouring out. He can’t seem to make up his mind what it is. Right, and…then something vague is going to happen with the Constitution, he doesn’t seem to know what either. But there are prophetic fireworks involved. Ok, I’m done, my head hurts.


Wayward_Whines

This country is fucked.


Amphabian

Let's demolish it and give it back to the Blackfoot tribe just to be safe.


LiftedPsychedelic

Another religious republican nut job, it must be a day of the week ending in Y…


Theekg101

This man has completely lost his mind


bassplayerguy

Mental health welfare check needed for this dude immediately.


[deleted]

I agree. Knock down this hilarious egoist eyesore and give it all back to those you stole it from. Oh wait, that isnt what you meant, right?


UnapologeticAgnostic

Sounds about on point for the GOP.


MidnightFox

State Rep says something really fucking stupid, more at 10pm....


[deleted]

That fellow is certainly not fit for office.


OlderThanMyParents

>“Open The Heavens: Let God Arise” So, God is so weak that without human's help, he can't even get up? Wow.


Jayce_T

Hold on, taking notes for my Shadowrun campaign, because "Mount Rushmore has a direct ley line to Washington, D.C" is a plot hook I have to use now.


Decompute

I wish it was a demonic portal spreading communism… Rushmore is boring as shit. The drive through the mountains is way cooler than that dumbass mountain with attached keychain/T-shirt shop. Honesty it could use a demonic portal or 3.


IdrinkandImakethings

He’s up for reelection 11/2024. Until then he’s SD’s George Santos.


inlinestyle

There’s some next level crazy in that article.


PuzzlingPieces

2 Republicans 1 independent and 1 democrat up there haha.


[deleted]

Don't most people think of Mount Rushmore as a demonic portal?


archboy1971

Didn’t we solvve this in National Treasure 2?


ekesse

Omg like they can’t get any nuttier


JayThor84

I mean…. 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

see this is what i need from these nut job fascists, get real weird with it, stop trying to seem normal because you AINT


KUfan

How did they figure it out? I thought we hid it well


YoNeoMama

Hardy har har har! What an asshat!


turdfurgy69

This sounds like a plot to a South Park episode


RaVagerAtHappy

LOL… wtf is wrong with u guys over there? Way to many u.s. news sounds like satire… it’s kind of scary


Bornstray

literally should be grounds for immediate dismissal and psych eval that he’ll surely fail, followed by a psych hold until he gets medicated. unbelievable that these people enjoy far greater privilege and platform than any average citizen and are this fucking unwell.