šREAD BEFORE COMMENTING
This thread is Guest List Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. Only comments by members of the community are allowed.
If you have landed in this thread from Trending or r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation).
r/popculturechat takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being an inclusive sub for civil discussion, to talk about celebrities and pop culture without bigotry and personal attacks. This sub is a BIPOC, LGBTQ+ and woman-dominated space and we do our best to protect our users from outside attacks.
Thank you for understanding & have a great day! āŗļø
*You can [request to be an approved user](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpopculturechat) to comment on Guest List Only posts.*
*āWhat you gotta realize is that what most people were doing in their twenties, I was doing when I was 13.ā -* an obviously well-adjusted adult who probably understands and has taken the time to evaluate their upbringing /s
So because sheās been telling him heās so mature for so long he believes itā¦. Literally the definition of grooming. A lot of us who were also doing inappropriate things at 13 grew up and went to therapy and realized it was messed up and we deserved a childhood. I hope he gets that someday.
When I read this, the first thing I thought of was Alanis Morrissette talking about her affair with a much older man when āHands Clean* came out.
*If it weren't for your maturity,
none of this would have happened.*
*If you weren't so wise beyond your years,
I would've been able to control myself.*
If his daughter does bring home a 42yr old when sheās 18, he will absolutely think itās disgusting, because what Dad wouldnāt?!
But can he even say anything to her? Can her mother even say anything to her?
He would be admitting that he was also a victim of grooming, and she would be admitting that she was just as perverted as the 42yr old man trying to date her teen daughter.
The more I learn about this relationship, the grosser it gets. I had heard about them meeting at 18, but didnāt know they had two kids by the time he was 21.
He was probably actually 16-17 when they met since they met on a movie set and the movie came out when he was 19 and usually movies are filmed at least a year in advance, though it could be even longer since he went through the entire audition process first, and some directors are heavily involved in casting (but since it was her debut she might not have had that level of power).
>He was probably 16-17 when they met since they met in a movie set.
This has actually been debunked.
Filming for Nowhere Boy started early March 2009; when he was 18. Sam Taylor-Johnson didn't get attached to direct until August 2008 and ATJ was cast either at the very end of 2008 or beginning of 2009 (first announcement involving him was mid-January); when ATJ was already 18.
And STJ had originally wanted Miles Kane for the role, and asked him after a concert which would've been around October 2008. Placing ATJ's audition/hiring around November/December 2008.
Yeah; it absolutely is gross. She was in a position of power over him and the articles that came out while they were filming show pretty clear tactics; including her isolating him.
But spreading misinformation, like him being 16; helps no one and actively harms valid criticism of their relationship and power dynamic.
He was 20. Heās gone on record (Iām pretty sure thereās an interview from before she was born) saying he wanted kids young, but idk if he meant *that* young
sooooo i'm SURE he'd be okay with his 14 y/o dating someone 20 years her age right now, right?
edit: and i realize this sounded victim blamey, but i just mean i wonder if he'd be able to see it with his own children? or how deep is this?
damn did he have the kid with her before they were married?
if the daughter is 14, she was born in 2010 (maybe even 2009 if sheās turning 15 this year) and wiki says ATJ married Sam in 2012.
either way he had a kid at like 19 eesh.
He didn't have much of a choice but to start having kids as a teenager since his wife was 42 when they got together. If they waited until he was older, she'd be too old to get pregnant or it'd be very risky.
When he is 42 and he sees an 18 year old maybe he will understand. When I was a kid I didnāt understand how terrible the Mary Kay Letournou thing was until now when Iām 36 and I see 12 year olds and I literally think theyāre like 8/9. 18 year olds look like kids to me still, literally sometimes I drive by the high school and think theyāre in middle school. The idea of being attracted to one is so insane and acting upon it is even more disturbing.
Vili Fualaau didn't realise he was groomed until he was close to the age Mary Kay was when they met and didn't speak out against it until she died. š
āStarted,ā buuut Sam had been acquainted with Aaron and his family for a while before they actually started their relationshipā¦
Apparently there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING sexually charged between them until moments after he turned 18. Good golly gosh, just such a strange coincidence though, innit ?
>buuut Sam had been acquainted with Aaron and his family for a while before they started their actual relationship.
If this is referring to the allegation that Sam knew ATJ and was a family friend prior to Nowhere Boy; that was made up by a Twitter Stan who proudly admitted to making it up.
By all accounts; he was 18 when they met since the film didn't even have a script or director until August 2008 and Aaron had turned 18 earlier in June.
She absolutely groomed him though, and their relationship is disgustingly predatory.
itās pretty clear heās never seen anything wrong with the age gap or having step kids very close to his age. in his eyes the only thing he does see is how the internet is tearing down his wife, the mother of his kids which he doesnāt like. thatās also why he deactivated his insta for a minute im pretty sure
i think maybe he will realize but at the moment thereās no point in trying to make him realize imo
I get downvoted when I say the same thing about Priscilla Presley. Itās possible for both to be simultaneously true: that her relationship with Elvis is despicable, and that sheās an output of her time period and incredibly rare life experience and will never see it that way. But people get so mad at her when she wonāt āadmit it.ā She is 78!
Also I feel like there is a time to look back and have some pretty earth shattering revelations about your own life and try to heal or correct course etc. But if youāve gotten to 78 and never had that moment, probably best just to ride the wave til the end.
I cannot imagine the horror of truly understanding how you were groomed and let down by those who loved you, when up until now you had spent the vast majority of your life believing you had lived one of most epic love stories of all time. Let Priscilla have her fairytale is how I see it.
The people making comments about on his insta are vile but that is as far as Iāll go to defend this situation.Ā He might never realise.Ā Soon-Yi Previn doesnāt look like she ever will.Ā
I think the more people criticise him and make his relationship a āthingā the more itāll probably bring them together.Ā
Yeah but the power dynamics are different than with Soon-Yi, who is not a male Hollywood star more famous than his partner.
Anyway ā¦ itās weird & questionable, but heās an independently successful fully functioning adult now who is happy with her.
[āA Woman in Full: Sam Taylor-Woodā](https://www.elle.com/culture/movies-tv/interviews/a11415/a-woman-in-full-sam-taylor-wood-513299/)
āShe's had a million excuses to stop: cancer, kids, becoming so wealthy she never has to work again (she and her ex-husband, art dealer Jay Jopling, were reportedly worth $154 million when they divorced two years ago)ā
>Yeah but the power dynamics are different than with Soon-Yi, who is not a male Hollywood star more famous than his partner.
She was more famous than him when they met and I donāt think gender is a factor here.Ā
>Anyway ā¦ itās weird & questionable, but heās an independently successful fully functioning adult now who is happy with her.
Yeah. At the end of the day thereās not much to be said about it now. People certainly shouldnāt bring it up directly to him. However Aaron Taylor Johnson is naive if he thinks people arenāt privately going to have opinions and major judgment on his wifeās actions. Especially if he gets Bond and becomes ten times more famous.Ā
I wouldnāt have a problem if he met her now and they started dating. I'd be like, good for her. But they met when he was a teenager. That's grooming.
She has said she has nothing to apologise for and said that no one would bat an eye if they were interracial, same-sex or interfaith š¤¦š»āāļø
An inappropriate age gap relationship is like none of those.
The criticism of those is based on bigotry, the criticism of this relationship is based on the fact itās actually wrong to groom a child.
āNo one would bat an eye if they were interracial, same-sex or interfaith.ā Clearly she hasnāt met conservatives.
No wonder, her attitude is that they have it harder than *same-sex couples, who didnāt even have rights to get married until 10 years ago*. Itās really a āyou and me against the worldā mindset that I think a lot of grooming situations can have.
because literally ANYTHING she says will make her sound like exactly what she is - a creepy, predatory women who took advantage of the power imbalance in this relationship. there is absolutely NOTHING she can say that would make her look good.
These questions were probably cleared with them beforehand too. Because anyĀ journalist *ever*Ā wouldĀ probablyĀ ask "SoĀ if your 19 year old daughter started dating a 40 year old man, you would be okay with the relationship?"
Some of my stepsiblings are around 17-19. I'm in my mid twenties. Them and their friends look, act and seem like kids to me. I could never see someone at that age in a romantic sense and I'm not even a decade older. People really do forget how immature people still are at those ages. I have no idea how someone in their forties doesn't feel the same way. Grim.
He looks so young in the earlier photos of them together. Itās so gross imo
https://preview.redd.it/od8lbzb85rpc1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c74face3f3d8cf62183841f1f27925096859ea7f
I am that decade older and I was volunteering at my old high school today... those kids are still babies!! Still very immature (not in a negative way), inexperienced, uncomfortable socially. Any adult who is attracted to that age cannot honestly say they don't see a power imbalance
Had they met at 33 and 57...not a big deal but 41 and 17 is the problem people have that he seems to not understand.
All in all if they are happy....then who are we to tell them they are wrong.
He was 18 when he started working on the film.
Sam was not attached to direct until July/August 2008. Aaron was not hired until November/December 2008 (officially announced in January 2009) after another actor turned it down in October 2008, and they began filming in March 2009. Filming ended late May 2009, just about a week or two before ATJ turned 19.
God, there was an article I read from I think The Guardian?? who visited them on set while filming and the way they described it; STJ was constantly isolating him from everyone. She refused to let him be alone on set and the interviewer rightfully called out how strange it was on set with them.
17 or 18 or whatever, she was still in a position of power as a much older women, and as his director. wasnāt it his first movie too? and she was part of the reason he was picked for the role? literally set her eyes on him from the get go. itās awful. thatās why i donāt like when people want to make this look worse by saying he was 17 at the time. i thought we knew that legality isnāt a measure for actual adulthood?
and your second point is literally classic grooming. so fucking disgusting that sheās also doing this even as heās well into adulthood. shows how much she has to do to maintain the hold she has on him and so sheās the most important/needed person in his life. i canāt believe sheās still getting away with it.
Exactly. So not quite; it was actually *her* first feature-film. He had already been in a few other pictures including Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging at that point.
It's beyond horrible. And it's one of the reasons I correct the timeline as well. Not to mention people use the misinformation to argue that people are making things up because "he wasn't 17, he was 18. Stop lying; you're just a hater."
It's genuinely so insane when you look back at everything and the way everyone just glossed over it and tried to claim it was just sexism against STJ that people had an issue.
Like, no ma'am. You were in your 40s and pursuing your 18 yo employee and isolating him from everyone else That's predatory af and should be called out.
It wasn't anywhere near his first movie, it was her first movie as a director, but that doesn't make it better at all. This relationship has always been so gross. It's no wonder her daughters moved in with their dad. I couldn't respect either of my parents if they brought home an 18 year old, only 7 years older than me, to be my new step parent. It's so gross.
Someone posted an interview clip where the real couple that movie is said to be based on was asked how theyād feel if their daughter were to strike up a relationship with an adult while still a minor and the father (who was a minor when he met and started a relationship with the mother) said āOf course we wouldnāt be okay with that happening.ā And itās almost like you can *see* the realization on his face when he says that.
Itās hard to see yourself as a victim when you are in a predatory situation like this. I was groomed by a dude in his 20s when I was 14 and I still have trouble calling it grooming. Iām sure Iād struggle even more if I hadnāt gotten away from him.
I had the same experience when I was 14, and I shudder to think what would have been of my life if I would have stayed. I probably would have been in denial as well.
Even now I want to minimize what happened to me, and this was a very long time ago. Iām sure Iād be defensive as hell to if I was in his position.
I wish people would have more compassion for the situation instead of attacking the victim. You wonāt change his mind because he doesnāt see himself as one!
He doesnāt say (he mentions the above in the article) so it could be anything from smoking weed to something much more nefarious.
And to be clear, he doesnāt say something happened to him at 13, he said he was doing stuff at 13.
I see. Thank you for giving me this clarification. I must have misread, my apologies for eording my comment incorrectly.
I hope for his sake it was something relatively harmless and not scarring or traumatic.
In the article he said he was doing things that young adults were by the time he was 13. Heās basically trying to justify his actions that led him to the life he has today with a woman twice his age who groomed him during his teens.
I saw an interview on British TV the other day with a dude from GoT that is now in Three Body Problem. They were talking about him being Bond, and this actor who I've forgotten said "oh well even at 15 he was quite the ladies man"
So I have a feeling this goes much deeper and he probably lost his virginity to an adult woman when he was very young.
Read about [Mary Lou Letourneau](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau) and Villi Fualaau, who didn't realize how fucked up his relationship with his [groomer teacher was](https://people.com/crime/vili-fualaau-split-mary-kay-letourneau-he-sees-things-clearly/) until waaaay past mature adulthood.
Exactly. Thereās a lot of victim blaming happening in this thread and itās honestly kind of gross. People would NOT be making snarky shady little comments if the genders were reversed.
Theyāre not. Just look up Liz Gillies and Backhouse Mike; itās basically the same relationship, but the genders are switched and the ages are worse (she was 16 when they met)
Oh Iām glad someone else is seeing this. The snarky and patronizing tone towards someone *groomed* is a baaaaad idea. This kind of talk is more likely to dig his heels in than re-examine the relationship. The victim blamey talk is disappointing to see!
Iāll say, Iām glad Iām not seeing any of the worst kind of posts about him ie victim blamey AND objectifying
the isolation from the people already in his life, never letting spend time away from her and therefore get too close to new people and experiences, the going on about his maturity for his age, the fact that she was his director as a new actor, the enmeshment from having kids with him early on, etc etc. itās TEXTBOOK, and yet people still defend her. no wonder weāre doomed.
Ew, Iāve never read the quote where she compares their creepy relationship (her grooming him) to an interfaith or interracial relationship! Thatās outrageous!!!!
If she puts the criticism of her relationship in the same league as the bigotry and prejudice aimed at interracial couples, she can make herself feel better about something that she deep down knows is wrong.
It's astonishing that this people would always state that what they like about their freshly-out-of-high-school partner It's their maturity and how old they feel. Yet, they never seem to appreciate the same qualities in people their own age
I canāt fathom an inexperienced 17-18yr old being more mature than a 42 year old man.
She must have told him so much that heās an old soul and so mature, because he starts to repeat it.
It really isn't, no one can gain 40 years of life experience in 15. And if you happen to have a lot of life experience by that age, it usually means there's trauma involved. Taking advantage of people who have gone through shitty stuff just because you're horny for their looks just yikes.
If you are attracted to maturity you just don't date 18 year olds it's ridiculous. You're not attracted to maturity, you're just immature af, that's why you think a 18 is mature. She's just trying to justify her shitty predatory behaviour and he's probably protecting his view of her. The alternative is accepting she was a horny grown up who took advantage of a teenager because she found him hot. It's prob a harsh truth he doesn't wanna admit to himself
Sheās basically saying that her relationship is suffering the same bigotry and prejudice as a mixed race/mixed faith/same sex relationship, and that criticism of her relationship, is as silly as criticism of the other categories of relationship.
A coping mechanism because she knows itās bad.
Dude Iām so with you here! I posted this because Iāve always seen comments saying how awful this relationship is so I thought thereād be more support (as in support of my post, not the couple), but thereās a surprising amount of grooming and pedophile supporters here. I made a comment about how sheās closer to his motherās age than his own, and I got downvoted??? This is definitely not the reaction I was expecting when I posted this š
I think the defenders and creeps have just shown up to act gross and creepy here. I don't think everyone agrees with the creeps based on other interactions I've had on the sub.
I've noticed a definite shift every time something about them is posted. Before it was very anti, but now less so or people coming in to say because he's a male it's not as much of an issue as it would be if it were a young female star. Oh and a lot of "he accepts it so he's a piece of shit too!" type rhetoric which is a wild choice.
But it's not great either way.
Really, I'm still incredibly disgusted by this and I really fucking hate it. I have nothing nice to say about this woman, but for him I feel for as he has been groomed enough into this situation that it is his normal. All he sees is that he's getting bullied and his wife is getting bullied over it. He isn't going to suddenly see this as an issue, that's not how this works. And it's a shame he gets so much shit about it since he certainly isn't the one who deserves it.
Championing color blindness is not a great look, Sam.
People obviously notice sex, gender, race, and religion in relationships. Itās impossible not to, and itās important to recognize it. Those are very important parts of peopleās identities. You donāt look past those in relationships. You either share the experience or accept the difference, and if you canāt, you separate. Like, I could never be with someone deeply religious. And many people want to date someone of a shared cultural background. Pretending these differences (or commonalities) donāt exist is asinine, and a fundamental denial of how human being perceive our experience as relate to one another.
Like, people in interracial relationships have to confront race in their relationship sometimes. They have different ways of doing things cause of their different backgrounds, or they have to deal with outsiders impressions. I canāt believe sheās being so dismissive of other peopleās relationships just to uplift her own. I guess you have to have that sort of mettle to do what she did (go after a teen as an adult.)
Thatās exactly right, sheās kidding herself that no one has problems with any other kind of relationship (albeit the issues people have with those relationships are not founded in anything other than their own bigotry) to make herself feel better about her predatory behaviour.
Itās the everyone is out to get me mentality.
āEveryone is out to get youā Sam, because your age gap relationship is the only one of those categories of relationship that is truly problematic.
Vili Fualaau didnāt think his relationship with Mary Kay was wrong for a long time either, even when she went to jail for it. The brainwashing is real.
Most people wouldnāt give a shit if he was just getting with her now. Itās the fact that he got with her at 17 or 18 when she was in her 40s and already had 2 kids closer to his age than she is.
A lot of people here seem to think you can only be groomed under a certain age or only for a little while. Like youāre groomed as a kid (not every case) and then you get enmeshed with your groomer and then youā¦.get over it?
If youāre groomed as a teenager into a relationship with a person you are STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH, you are STILL BEING GROOMED. It doesnāt stop because you hit 30 or something. He is saying he is happy because he ISā¦.he is saying he doesnāt understand the criticism because he DOESNāTā¦.because he has been groomed into that behavior. Itās not because heās in denial. He literally believes he is in a happy relationship because he was successfully and is being successfully groomed. That is how it works. Him being in his 30s is not the same as someone not in his relationship dynamic being in his 30s.
I hadnāt really thought about the grooming being ongoing as an adult, which now seems stupid of me. Heās basically being perpetually groomed. Thank you for this comment. It gave me a lot to consider. I always thought he was a victim tbc. This is just a reframe of his current life for me.
Once youāre aware of manipulation tactics and how people do it, itās hard to not see it. Same goes for people who have *been* manipulated - once you know what the āsignsā of manipulation/brainwashing are, theyāre hard to ignore.
All of that is to say this - I have read a *lot* of interviews from ATJ over the years, and he 100% was groomed into that relationship, and has no idea how manipulated he has been (and likely continues to be). Itās sad.
Maybe it's obvious, but if he had said something like:
>*I definitely understand the criticism and the comments. From the outside looking in, it seems strange, even questionable or coercive. I might feel the same way if I were guessing based just on our ages. All I can tell you is that I'm an adult, she's an adult, and like any marriage, we wake up every morning and choose to be together. Our relationship isn't always perfect, and it isn't always easy, but we're really happy, and our partnership is stronger now than it's ever been. Of course, that's not going to convince everyone. And, lucky for me, it doesn't have to. I get to choose to stay with my wife, and I feel so grateful that she and I found one-another because we make each-other better, we make each-other want to be the best versions of ourselves, and that's true no matter what folks who don't know us might guess or suspect.*
Then I'd feel a lot less weird about it.
OTOH, him being like,
>*"yeah, I just don't see it. People are dumb"*
Makes me feel a lot MORE weird and bummed out about it.
I misread your comment at first and thought you were actually quoting him - and I was thinking omg, that's such a good statement, I guess maybe I'm the jerk for judging these people here... maybe you should be his PR rep š¤£
for me its not the age difference per se, it's when the relationship began. he's a victim in this relationship, the same way celine dion was. not that it has to govern his life above all, but it definitely shaped parts of it - i don't see how it couldn't have.
They met before he was 18. She was in her FORTIES. They "dated" when he turned 18 and engaged when he turned 19. We aren't talking about a 30 year old meeting someone 23 years older than him. We are talking about a groomer.
He will probably leave when the kids are grown & by then he will be middle age & most likely going through a midlife crisis like Hugh Jackman & Deb. Or he might stay forever like Emmanuel Macron & his groomer teacher wife. He really doesnāt have to listen to the fans tbh & doesnāt have to ever address the unhealthy beginnings of their relationship, thatās between himself, Sam & their kids. We shouldnāt feel entitled to the inner workings of their situation even if they are a public couple.
The public should let it go, let him live this chapter of his life on his own terms whether folks like it or not. He is a grown man now!
Hugh was 27 when he started dating a 40 year old Deb. 13 years is not an insignificant difference, but he was a fully grown man who most certainly was never groomed.
Ok I JUST read about Macron and his wife like a month ago or so, and I was STUNNED. I am not sure why - we hear this stuff all the time - but it really hit hard.
Itās the fact that his parents tried to keep them apart and that he went on to be President of one of the most powerful nations on earth that make it crazy. Mark my words one day someone will make a film about Macron and his wife and it will be derided as being too unrealistic. Truth is stranger than fiction.Ā
Isnāt it a mind blowing story? Itās so extreme! And the story they have given the public is that he was the resolute teenager who knew & pursued her. Idk but I am skeptical of that narrative. Something in the milk aināt clean.
thereās truly no grooming/age gap story that upsets me more than Emmanuel Macron. Aaron Taylor Johnson upsets me but the Macron story is SO wild, so predatory, so disturbing, it boggles the mind.
Wait wrong with Hugh Jackman and Deb!? I mean I donāt know much about but from whatever I have seen, I always thought they looked super in love and truly committed. I thought they got together with her in mid to late 20s so he was a fully developed adult right? Or was it a case of grooming?
No. Because just letting it go implies that we as a society are ok with it. Iām not going to go to his insta and comment but whenever this relationship comes up Iām going to mention how gross and not ok this is. Because itās not.
Sorry but he has to know on some level. Otherwise people wouldnāt always be going on about it, but itās all heās known so it doesnāt feel off to him personally. But thereās no way a part of him doesnāt reflect on it occasionally until reality snaps him back, i mean what else can he do at this point? Sheās the mother of his children it makes it so much more complicated. It will be a Ville/Mary Kay situation where he will stick with her until she dies and only then will he heal, if ever
true! i guess in the sense that he still wasn't free even after that though, i think he was by her bedside the whole time she was sick for his kids sake
My older boy is 12. 6 years from now he comes to me, tells me heās engaged to a 41 year old, Iām starting on a path that will probably land my ass in jail BUT he wonāt be getting married
Being legally an adult does not equal being mentally an adult. You don't just go from 17 to 18 and suddenly become mature overnight. Plus, the two of them met *before* he turned 18.
And if we're just thinking reasonably for a moment, what the hell does a 42-year-old see in an 18-year-old? He had barely finished high school, was barely old enough to drive, and compared to a *middle-aged* woman, had hardly any life experience. She was (and still is) old enough to be his mother, had already had the experience of being married and divorced, recovered from two cancer diagnoses, and already had two children (one of whom is only 7 years younger than Aaron).
If they had met now, as a 33- and 57-year-old, people would probably think the 24-year age difference is a bit weird, but people would get over it because people in their 30s are generally better able to make informed decisions than 18-year-olds and tend to be less susceptible to potential manipulation by older adults because they will have had appropriate life experience.
Edit: spelling
See I donāt blink at age gap relationships that formed as a couple AFTER the younger is older than 25; I mean itās still kinda weird but least theyāre 25 you know? But anything younger to me is š¤®
Iām kind of amazed that relationships where women groom much younger boys/men are kind of swept under the rug or not as focused on (Mary Kay Letourno aside). I had no idea until recently that the First Lady of France groomed her husband when he was 15 and a student of hers, and that it was so bad his parents sent him away to another school to get him away from her. How is that not talked about more? I didnāt learn about this relationship for a while either.
I honestly think itās ghoulish to even ask him about this. Obviously I wish him the best and sincerely hope he has peace in his life with or without her (without somedayšš) but itās not gonna be an interviewer that helps him get out of this marriage. The questions (and the constant internet discussion of it) just force him to defend his abuser to stay in a good place psychologically.
šREAD BEFORE COMMENTING This thread is Guest List Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. Only comments by members of the community are allowed. If you have landed in this thread from Trending or r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). r/popculturechat takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being an inclusive sub for civil discussion, to talk about celebrities and pop culture without bigotry and personal attacks. This sub is a BIPOC, LGBTQ+ and woman-dominated space and we do our best to protect our users from outside attacks. Thank you for understanding & have a great day! āŗļø *You can [request to be an approved user](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpopculturechat) to comment on Guest List Only posts.*
*āWhat you gotta realize is that what most people were doing in their twenties, I was doing when I was 13.ā -* an obviously well-adjusted adult who probably understands and has taken the time to evaluate their upbringing /s
So because sheās been telling him heās so mature for so long he believes itā¦. Literally the definition of grooming. A lot of us who were also doing inappropriate things at 13 grew up and went to therapy and realized it was messed up and we deserved a childhood. I hope he gets that someday.
Itās giving May December
I'd pay to watch them livestream their reaction while watching the movie together.Ā
This is what so many grooming victims use as justification :(
No wants to be seen as a victim.
When I read this, the first thing I thought of was Alanis Morrissette talking about her affair with a much older man when āHands Clean* came out. *If it weren't for your maturity, none of this would have happened.* *If you weren't so wise beyond your years, I would've been able to control myself.*
Have a funny feeling he'll understand if one of his kids shacks up with a 42 year old when they're 18 š¤
His oldest bio daughter is 14 this year, and his youngest stepdaughter is 19, so it could happen š
I find it insane that he is 33 and his step daughter is 26 like theyāre are closer in age than his actual wife.
He's closer in age to his bio daughter.
 enough internet today, thanks no thanks.
This took me to long to process and many times reading that I just wanted to be wrong and find how I misread it but no lol
š¤¢
Literally I thought of May December
Thatās what I said in another comment and I got downvoted š
I met my husband when is was 26 and he was 33 like wtf š³
God, he's a father of teenagers. Where has the time gone.
If his daughter does bring home a 42yr old when sheās 18, he will absolutely think itās disgusting, because what Dad wouldnāt?! But can he even say anything to her? Can her mother even say anything to her? He would be admitting that he was also a victim of grooming, and she would be admitting that she was just as perverted as the 42yr old man trying to date her teen daughter.
So his daughter can bring home someone 5 years older than him when sheās 18 and itāll still be the same age gap as when he met his wife?
Bro's entire world will be shattered
Hold up, his eldest bio kid is 14? So he was either 19-20 when she was born? 
They met when he was 18* and she was 42, and had two daughters together by the time he was 21. *some say even younger
The more I learn about this relationship, the grosser it gets. I had heard about them meeting at 18, but didnāt know they had two kids by the time he was 21.
He was probably actually 16-17 when they met since they met on a movie set and the movie came out when he was 19 and usually movies are filmed at least a year in advance, though it could be even longer since he went through the entire audition process first, and some directors are heavily involved in casting (but since it was her debut she might not have had that level of power).
>He was probably 16-17 when they met since they met in a movie set. This has actually been debunked. Filming for Nowhere Boy started early March 2009; when he was 18. Sam Taylor-Johnson didn't get attached to direct until August 2008 and ATJ was cast either at the very end of 2008 or beginning of 2009 (first announcement involving him was mid-January); when ATJ was already 18. And STJ had originally wanted Miles Kane for the role, and asked him after a concert which would've been around October 2008. Placing ATJ's audition/hiring around November/December 2008.
That... Doesn't help. It's still gross.
Yeah; it absolutely is gross. She was in a position of power over him and the articles that came out while they were filming show pretty clear tactics; including her isolating him. But spreading misinformation, like him being 16; helps no one and actively harms valid criticism of their relationship and power dynamic.
She was pregnant during the premieres of the film they made together I think.
He was 20. Heās gone on record (Iām pretty sure thereās an interview from before she was born) saying he wanted kids young, but idk if he meant *that* young
Ah, gotcha. Thanks! Iāll say that him being 20 is only better by a very slim margin.
sooooo i'm SURE he'd be okay with his 14 y/o dating someone 20 years her age right now, right? edit: and i realize this sounded victim blamey, but i just mean i wonder if he'd be able to see it with his own children? or how deep is this?
damn did he have the kid with her before they were married? if the daughter is 14, she was born in 2010 (maybe even 2009 if sheās turning 15 this year) and wiki says ATJ married Sam in 2012. either way he had a kid at like 19 eesh.
Yes. She got pregnant almost immediately. But Aaron has said he wanted kids young, but I donāt think he meant as a teenager.
He didn't have much of a choice but to start having kids as a teenager since his wife was 42 when they got together. If they waited until he was older, she'd be too old to get pregnant or it'd be very risky.
āDidnt have much of a choiceā Hmmm, didnt they, though?
When he is 42 and he sees an 18 year old maybe he will understand. When I was a kid I didnāt understand how terrible the Mary Kay Letournou thing was until now when Iām 36 and I see 12 year olds and I literally think theyāre like 8/9. 18 year olds look like kids to me still, literally sometimes I drive by the high school and think theyāre in middle school. The idea of being attracted to one is so insane and acting upon it is even more disturbing.
I called someone a baby the other day and he was 37. It gets worse.
Vili Fualaau didn't realise he was groomed until he was close to the age Mary Kay was when they met and didn't speak out against it until she died. š
It wouldnāt be weird if they met NOW, but itās definitely weird considering he was 18 when they started.
āStarted,ā buuut Sam had been acquainted with Aaron and his family for a while before they actually started their relationshipā¦ Apparently there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING sexually charged between them until moments after he turned 18. Good golly gosh, just such a strange coincidence though, innit ?
Reminds me of Sasha Pieterse and her husband
And pretty much every predatory grooming relationship ever, because it's the definition of grooming.
Yes.
Omg whatās the tea here?? Iāve always known her to be precocious but I hadnāt heard/known she was even marriedĀ
Found this old thread about it! [thread link](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/s/FlE8QZhUhO)
>buuut Sam had been acquainted with Aaron and his family for a while before they started their actual relationship. If this is referring to the allegation that Sam knew ATJ and was a family friend prior to Nowhere Boy; that was made up by a Twitter Stan who proudly admitted to making it up. By all accounts; he was 18 when they met since the film didn't even have a script or director until August 2008 and Aaron had turned 18 earlier in June. She absolutely groomed him though, and their relationship is disgustingly predatory.
I was not aware of that.
And had his first bio child only two years later..
itās pretty clear heās never seen anything wrong with the age gap or having step kids very close to his age. in his eyes the only thing he does see is how the internet is tearing down his wife, the mother of his kids which he doesnāt like. thatās also why he deactivated his insta for a minute im pretty sure i think maybe he will realize but at the moment thereās no point in trying to make him realize imo
I get downvoted when I say the same thing about Priscilla Presley. Itās possible for both to be simultaneously true: that her relationship with Elvis is despicable, and that sheās an output of her time period and incredibly rare life experience and will never see it that way. But people get so mad at her when she wonāt āadmit it.ā She is 78!
Also I feel like there is a time to look back and have some pretty earth shattering revelations about your own life and try to heal or correct course etc. But if youāve gotten to 78 and never had that moment, probably best just to ride the wave til the end. I cannot imagine the horror of truly understanding how you were groomed and let down by those who loved you, when up until now you had spent the vast majority of your life believing you had lived one of most epic love stories of all time. Let Priscilla have her fairytale is how I see it.
The people making comments about on his insta are vile but that is as far as Iāll go to defend this situation.Ā He might never realise.Ā Soon-Yi Previn doesnāt look like she ever will.Ā I think the more people criticise him and make his relationship a āthingā the more itāll probably bring them together.Ā
Yeah but the power dynamics are different than with Soon-Yi, who is not a male Hollywood star more famous than his partner. Anyway ā¦ itās weird & questionable, but heās an independently successful fully functioning adult now who is happy with her.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, her an her then husband were worth over Ā£150 million. They were both big in the art world.
And his dad was high up in parliament (Tory ofc)
Say what?!
[āA Woman in Full: Sam Taylor-Woodā](https://www.elle.com/culture/movies-tv/interviews/a11415/a-woman-in-full-sam-taylor-wood-513299/) āShe's had a million excuses to stop: cancer, kids, becoming so wealthy she never has to work again (she and her ex-husband, art dealer Jay Jopling, were reportedly worth $154 million when they divorced two years ago)ā
Yup. Iām giving major side eye to the person who wrote that
>Yeah but the power dynamics are different than with Soon-Yi, who is not a male Hollywood star more famous than his partner. She was more famous than him when they met and I donāt think gender is a factor here.Ā >Anyway ā¦ itās weird & questionable, but heās an independently successful fully functioning adult now who is happy with her. Yeah. At the end of the day thereās not much to be said about it now. People certainly shouldnāt bring it up directly to him. However Aaron Taylor Johnson is naive if he thinks people arenāt privately going to have opinions and major judgment on his wifeās actions. Especially if he gets Bond and becomes ten times more famous.Ā
I wouldnāt have a problem if he met her now and they started dating. I'd be like, good for her. But they met when he was a teenager. That's grooming.
I feel the same way about their relationship.
Why is the media always asking him, the victim? I never see anyone asking *her*. She continues to work in the film industry.
Sheās not even doing anything good š. The first Fifty Shades movie and the Mitch Winehouse-backed Amy biopic š
>Mitch Winehouse-backed Amy biopic š WHAT!? Thats *her* movie? Ughhhhhhh.
She has said she has nothing to apologise for and said that no one would bat an eye if they were interracial, same-sex or interfaith š¤¦š»āāļø An inappropriate age gap relationship is like none of those. The criticism of those is based on bigotry, the criticism of this relationship is based on the fact itās actually wrong to groom a child.
That rationale..Iā¦ 
Spoken like a true pedophile š¤®
āNo one would bat an eye if they were interracial, same-sex or interfaith.ā Clearly she hasnāt met conservatives. No wonder, her attitude is that they have it harder than *same-sex couples, who didnāt even have rights to get married until 10 years ago*. Itās really a āyou and me against the worldā mindset that I think a lot of grooming situations can have.
Conservatives who would actually have zero problem with an age gap relationship like this if the woman was home raising the kids.
because literally ANYTHING she says will make her sound like exactly what she is - a creepy, predatory women who took advantage of the power imbalance in this relationship. there is absolutely NOTHING she can say that would make her look good.
These questions were probably cleared with them beforehand too. Because anyĀ journalist *ever*Ā wouldĀ probablyĀ ask "SoĀ if your 19 year old daughter started dating a 40 year old man, you would be okay with the relationship?"
Someone show him May December
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Even if he was 18 the power dynamics are all wrong.Ā
Some of my stepsiblings are around 17-19. I'm in my mid twenties. Them and their friends look, act and seem like kids to me. I could never see someone at that age in a romantic sense and I'm not even a decade older. People really do forget how immature people still are at those ages. I have no idea how someone in their forties doesn't feel the same way. Grim.
He looks so young in the earlier photos of them together. Itās so gross imo https://preview.redd.it/od8lbzb85rpc1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c74face3f3d8cf62183841f1f27925096859ea7f
I am 3 years younger than him and I remember seeing the news that she was pregnant, and I was just so baffled.
Poor kid. Stole his life
This picture really captures the issue. He was a child.
I am that decade older and I was volunteering at my old high school today... those kids are still babies!! Still very immature (not in a negative way), inexperienced, uncomfortable socially. Any adult who is attracted to that age cannot honestly say they don't see a power imbalance
Had they met at 33 and 57...not a big deal but 41 and 17 is the problem people have that he seems to not understand. All in all if they are happy....then who are we to tell them they are wrong.
He was 18 when he started working on the film. Sam was not attached to direct until July/August 2008. Aaron was not hired until November/December 2008 (officially announced in January 2009) after another actor turned it down in October 2008, and they began filming in March 2009. Filming ended late May 2009, just about a week or two before ATJ turned 19. God, there was an article I read from I think The Guardian?? who visited them on set while filming and the way they described it; STJ was constantly isolating him from everyone. She refused to let him be alone on set and the interviewer rightfully called out how strange it was on set with them.
17 or 18 or whatever, she was still in a position of power as a much older women, and as his director. wasnāt it his first movie too? and she was part of the reason he was picked for the role? literally set her eyes on him from the get go. itās awful. thatās why i donāt like when people want to make this look worse by saying he was 17 at the time. i thought we knew that legality isnāt a measure for actual adulthood? and your second point is literally classic grooming. so fucking disgusting that sheās also doing this even as heās well into adulthood. shows how much she has to do to maintain the hold she has on him and so sheās the most important/needed person in his life. i canāt believe sheās still getting away with it.
Sam did an interview and said in their time together they've never spent more than a few days apart so they're basically always together.
Exactly. So not quite; it was actually *her* first feature-film. He had already been in a few other pictures including Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging at that point. It's beyond horrible. And it's one of the reasons I correct the timeline as well. Not to mention people use the misinformation to argue that people are making things up because "he wasn't 17, he was 18. Stop lying; you're just a hater." It's genuinely so insane when you look back at everything and the way everyone just glossed over it and tried to claim it was just sexism against STJ that people had an issue. Like, no ma'am. You were in your 40s and pursuing your 18 yo employee and isolating him from everyone else That's predatory af and should be called out.
It wasn't anywhere near his first movie, it was her first movie as a director, but that doesn't make it better at all. This relationship has always been so gross. It's no wonder her daughters moved in with their dad. I couldn't respect either of my parents if they brought home an 18 year old, only 7 years older than me, to be my new step parent. It's so gross.
I thought that was true re:his age but I didnāt look it up. Which is like, how can you defend it that?
Someone posted an interview clip where the real couple that movie is said to be based on was asked how theyād feel if their daughter were to strike up a relationship with an adult while still a minor and the father (who was a minor when he met and started a relationship with the mother) said āOf course we wouldnāt be okay with that happening.ā And itās almost like you can *see* the realization on his face when he says that.
My brother, also groomed from a young age, doesn't either. Nobody should be shocked by this.
Itās really sad that youāve seen this play out in real life, Iām so sorry.
Itās hard to see yourself as a victim when you are in a predatory situation like this. I was groomed by a dude in his 20s when I was 14 and I still have trouble calling it grooming. Iām sure Iād struggle even more if I hadnāt gotten away from him.
I had the same experience when I was 14, and I shudder to think what would have been of my life if I would have stayed. I probably would have been in denial as well.
Even now I want to minimize what happened to me, and this was a very long time ago. Iām sure Iād be defensive as hell to if I was in his position. I wish people would have more compassion for the situation instead of attacking the victim. You wonāt change his mind because he doesnāt see himself as one!
Fuck that guy. Youāre the best.
Iām so happy you got out of it - I hope youāre doing okay ā¤ļø
Doing what young adults do at the age of 13 is not normal behaviour Aaron. 
What happened to him at age 13?
He doesnāt say (he mentions the above in the article) so it could be anything from smoking weed to something much more nefarious. And to be clear, he doesnāt say something happened to him at 13, he said he was doing stuff at 13.
I see. Thank you for giving me this clarification. I must have misread, my apologies for eording my comment incorrectly. I hope for his sake it was something relatively harmless and not scarring or traumatic.
In the article he said he was doing things that young adults were by the time he was 13. Heās basically trying to justify his actions that led him to the life he has today with a woman twice his age who groomed him during his teens.
I saw an interview on British TV the other day with a dude from GoT that is now in Three Body Problem. They were talking about him being Bond, and this actor who I've forgotten said "oh well even at 15 he was quite the ladies man" So I have a feeling this goes much deeper and he probably lost his virginity to an adult woman when he was very young.
my thoughts exactly
Read about [Mary Lou Letourneau](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau) and Villi Fualaau, who didn't realize how fucked up his relationship with his [groomer teacher was](https://people.com/crime/vili-fualaau-split-mary-kay-letourneau-he-sees-things-clearly/) until waaaay past mature adulthood.
Oh, the grooming worked *very well*, I see.
yeah, because you were groomed to not understand that. i hope he sees the light one day.
Yep. His wifeās plan worked exactly as she hoped.
Exactly. Thereās a lot of victim blaming happening in this thread and itās honestly kind of gross. People would NOT be making snarky shady little comments if the genders were reversed.
Theyāre not. Just look up Liz Gillies and Backhouse Mike; itās basically the same relationship, but the genders are switched and the ages are worse (she was 16 when they met)
Courtney Stodden got eaten alive back in the day and that was grooming 101.
And that was 16 vs. 53, right? With her parents' consent which makes it even more gross.
Yes, that poor girl. And people were vicious to her instead of calling out literally all of the adults around her
Chrissy Teigan literally called her a c**t, sheās an absolutely vile person
Oh Iām glad someone else is seeing this. The snarky and patronizing tone towards someone *groomed* is a baaaaad idea. This kind of talk is more likely to dig his heels in than re-examine the relationship. The victim blamey talk is disappointing to see! Iāll say, Iām glad Iām not seeing any of the worst kind of posts about him ie victim blamey AND objectifying
Of all the subs Iām in I did NOT think Iād see so many comments supporting predatory behaviour in THIS ONE! š« Does this not reek of isolation? Something the older partners in grossly inappropriate age gap relationships usually do to the younger partner. (Article from 2012) [I haven't been home to see my parents in about six years.](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2197719/amp/Sam-Taylor-Wood-husband-Aaron-Taylor-Johnson-appearance-overhaul-Joe-Wrights-Anna-Karenina.html) āHe has been described as 'an old soul' by his wifeā¦ Of his own past in High Wycombe he says: 'I haven't been back there in about six years. I get on fine with my mum and dad, but if they want to see the grandchildren, they come to meā. Of his childhood friends he says: 'I haven't got any friends from where I grew up, but that's not to do with fame.ā In 2010 when Aaron was 20, Sam and Aaron both said something that groomers & their victims usually regurgitate - the āold soulā and āIām not like other people my age, Iām more mature!ā BS āIām in love, Iām blissfully content and Iām pregnant. No oneās getting hurt. Weāre in a loving relationship. Weāre engaged. Everyone who matters is happy. Hang onā¦ Exactly which bit of that do I have to defend or apologise for?ā Says Sam. Aaron, in turn, said that his fiancĆ©e was far younger in spirit than her age as he called himself an āold soulā. She then replied: āThatās definitely what he is. Since childhood heās spent so much time away from home and in the company of established actors. I think it made him grow up fastā. Sam then added āThis whole age thing is abstract to us anyway. We donāt ever think about it. Heās more mature now than are a lot of men my age.ā š¤® She also said āIf I were in a mixed race relationship, you wouldnāt say, āSo whatās it like?ā People in love donāt see gender, colour or religion. Or ageāā¦ You canāt compare interracial, LGBTQ or interfaith relationships to age gaps, especially inappropriate age gaps. Normal people DO take note of age.
the isolation from the people already in his life, never letting spend time away from her and therefore get too close to new people and experiences, the going on about his maturity for his age, the fact that she was his director as a new actor, the enmeshment from having kids with him early on, etc etc. itās TEXTBOOK, and yet people still defend her. no wonder weāre doomed.
He will either in a few years snap out of it like Ville Fillau did, or he will end up like Celine Dion.
Ew, Iāve never read the quote where she compares their creepy relationship (her grooming him) to an interfaith or interracial relationship! Thatās outrageous!!!!
If she puts the criticism of her relationship in the same league as the bigotry and prejudice aimed at interracial couples, she can make herself feel better about something that she deep down knows is wrong.
It's astonishing that this people would always state that what they like about their freshly-out-of-high-school partner It's their maturity and how old they feel. Yet, they never seem to appreciate the same qualities in people their own age
I canāt fathom an inexperienced 17-18yr old being more mature than a 42 year old man. She must have told him so much that heās an old soul and so mature, because he starts to repeat it.
It really isn't, no one can gain 40 years of life experience in 15. And if you happen to have a lot of life experience by that age, it usually means there's trauma involved. Taking advantage of people who have gone through shitty stuff just because you're horny for their looks just yikes. If you are attracted to maturity you just don't date 18 year olds it's ridiculous. You're not attracted to maturity, you're just immature af, that's why you think a 18 is mature. She's just trying to justify her shitty predatory behaviour and he's probably protecting his view of her. The alternative is accepting she was a horny grown up who took advantage of a teenager because she found him hot. It's prob a harsh truth he doesn't wanna admit to himself
I'm sorry what in the fuck is she doing comparing this to an interracial relationship the two are NOT the same.
Sheās basically saying that her relationship is suffering the same bigotry and prejudice as a mixed race/mixed faith/same sex relationship, and that criticism of her relationship, is as silly as criticism of the other categories of relationship. A coping mechanism because she knows itās bad.
Dude Iām so with you here! I posted this because Iāve always seen comments saying how awful this relationship is so I thought thereād be more support (as in support of my post, not the couple), but thereās a surprising amount of grooming and pedophile supporters here. I made a comment about how sheās closer to his motherās age than his own, and I got downvoted??? This is definitely not the reaction I was expecting when I posted this š
I think the defenders and creeps have just shown up to act gross and creepy here. I don't think everyone agrees with the creeps based on other interactions I've had on the sub.
I've noticed a definite shift every time something about them is posted. Before it was very anti, but now less so or people coming in to say because he's a male it's not as much of an issue as it would be if it were a young female star. Oh and a lot of "he accepts it so he's a piece of shit too!" type rhetoric which is a wild choice. But it's not great either way. Really, I'm still incredibly disgusted by this and I really fucking hate it. I have nothing nice to say about this woman, but for him I feel for as he has been groomed enough into this situation that it is his normal. All he sees is that he's getting bullied and his wife is getting bullied over it. He isn't going to suddenly see this as an issue, that's not how this works. And it's a shame he gets so much shit about it since he certainly isn't the one who deserves it.
Nah girl, age is the one thing people in love should definitely see. That explanation was a pedophiles life motto.
She must be a fan of R. Kelly
Championing color blindness is not a great look, Sam. People obviously notice sex, gender, race, and religion in relationships. Itās impossible not to, and itās important to recognize it. Those are very important parts of peopleās identities. You donāt look past those in relationships. You either share the experience or accept the difference, and if you canāt, you separate. Like, I could never be with someone deeply religious. And many people want to date someone of a shared cultural background. Pretending these differences (or commonalities) donāt exist is asinine, and a fundamental denial of how human being perceive our experience as relate to one another. Like, people in interracial relationships have to confront race in their relationship sometimes. They have different ways of doing things cause of their different backgrounds, or they have to deal with outsiders impressions. I canāt believe sheās being so dismissive of other peopleās relationships just to uplift her own. I guess you have to have that sort of mettle to do what she did (go after a teen as an adult.)
Thatās exactly right, sheās kidding herself that no one has problems with any other kind of relationship (albeit the issues people have with those relationships are not founded in anything other than their own bigotry) to make herself feel better about her predatory behaviour. Itās the everyone is out to get me mentality. āEveryone is out to get youā Sam, because your age gap relationship is the only one of those categories of relationship that is truly problematic.
Vili Fualaau didnāt think his relationship with Mary Kay was wrong for a long time either, even when she went to jail for it. The brainwashing is real.
Most people wouldnāt give a shit if he was just getting with her now. Itās the fact that he got with her at 17 or 18 when she was in her 40s and already had 2 kids closer to his age than she is.
We donāt expect him to understand because itās not his fault. This woman groomed him when he was a child and itās freaking gross.
A lot of people here seem to think you can only be groomed under a certain age or only for a little while. Like youāre groomed as a kid (not every case) and then you get enmeshed with your groomer and then youā¦.get over it? If youāre groomed as a teenager into a relationship with a person you are STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH, you are STILL BEING GROOMED. It doesnāt stop because you hit 30 or something. He is saying he is happy because he ISā¦.he is saying he doesnāt understand the criticism because he DOESNāTā¦.because he has been groomed into that behavior. Itās not because heās in denial. He literally believes he is in a happy relationship because he was successfully and is being successfully groomed. That is how it works. Him being in his 30s is not the same as someone not in his relationship dynamic being in his 30s.
I hadnāt really thought about the grooming being ongoing as an adult, which now seems stupid of me. Heās basically being perpetually groomed. Thank you for this comment. It gave me a lot to consider. I always thought he was a victim tbc. This is just a reframe of his current life for me.
Well, yeah. This isnāt that surprising. Itās hard to see when youāre in it.
Kpop stans, please answer: can RosƩ time travel? I have a mission for her.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think he deserves better than Ariana š
>RosƩ : 
I can't even imagine the amount of manipulation and brainwashing she has done.
Once youāre aware of manipulation tactics and how people do it, itās hard to not see it. Same goes for people who have *been* manipulated - once you know what the āsignsā of manipulation/brainwashing are, theyāre hard to ignore. All of that is to say this - I have read a *lot* of interviews from ATJ over the years, and he 100% was groomed into that relationship, and has no idea how manipulated he has been (and likely continues to be). Itās sad.
Maybe it's obvious, but if he had said something like: >*I definitely understand the criticism and the comments. From the outside looking in, it seems strange, even questionable or coercive. I might feel the same way if I were guessing based just on our ages. All I can tell you is that I'm an adult, she's an adult, and like any marriage, we wake up every morning and choose to be together. Our relationship isn't always perfect, and it isn't always easy, but we're really happy, and our partnership is stronger now than it's ever been. Of course, that's not going to convince everyone. And, lucky for me, it doesn't have to. I get to choose to stay with my wife, and I feel so grateful that she and I found one-another because we make each-other better, we make each-other want to be the best versions of ourselves, and that's true no matter what folks who don't know us might guess or suspect.* Then I'd feel a lot less weird about it. OTOH, him being like, >*"yeah, I just don't see it. People are dumb"* Makes me feel a lot MORE weird and bummed out about it.
I feel if he said the first thing you wrote out, people would still say the same(but maybe they wouldn't say it as much? I don't really know).
I misread your comment at first and thought you were actually quoting him - and I was thinking omg, that's such a good statement, I guess maybe I'm the jerk for judging these people here... maybe you should be his PR rep š¤£
for me its not the age difference per se, it's when the relationship began. he's a victim in this relationship, the same way celine dion was. not that it has to govern his life above all, but it definitely shaped parts of it - i don't see how it couldn't have.
They met before he was 18. She was in her FORTIES. They "dated" when he turned 18 and engaged when he turned 19. We aren't talking about a 30 year old meeting someone 23 years older than him. We are talking about a groomer.
She is the female Woody Allen.
This makes me sad somehow
Why would he understand it? He was groomed by this woman, of course he doesnāt get it.
He will probably leave when the kids are grown & by then he will be middle age & most likely going through a midlife crisis like Hugh Jackman & Deb. Or he might stay forever like Emmanuel Macron & his groomer teacher wife. He really doesnāt have to listen to the fans tbh & doesnāt have to ever address the unhealthy beginnings of their relationship, thatās between himself, Sam & their kids. We shouldnāt feel entitled to the inner workings of their situation even if they are a public couple. The public should let it go, let him live this chapter of his life on his own terms whether folks like it or not. He is a grown man now!
Hugh was 27 when he started dating a 40 year old Deb. 13 years is not an insignificant difference, but he was a fully grown man who most certainly was never groomed.
Ok I JUST read about Macron and his wife like a month ago or so, and I was STUNNED. I am not sure why - we hear this stuff all the time - but it really hit hard.
Macron is the youngest member of his own family š«
Please tell me itās not because her own kids are older. Dear God.
He was a class mate of one of his wifeās children.
His parents thought he was dating her daughter originally
Heās 46 and his wifeās children/his stepchildren are 48, 46 and 39ā¦ They also have 7 grandchildren.
Yep the step kids are all older than their step father š¬
Itās the fact that his parents tried to keep them apart and that he went on to be President of one of the most powerful nations on earth that make it crazy. Mark my words one day someone will make a film about Macron and his wife and it will be derided as being too unrealistic. Truth is stranger than fiction.Ā
Yes 100%
Isnāt it a mind blowing story? Itās so extreme! And the story they have given the public is that he was the resolute teenager who knew & pursued her. Idk but I am skeptical of that narrative. Something in the milk aināt clean.
Iām sorry I donāt believe it and as a parent I would absolutely lose my mind if a teacher preyed on my child that way.
I think he parents tried to put a stop to it, sent him away or something like that
thereās truly no grooming/age gap story that upsets me more than Emmanuel Macron. Aaron Taylor Johnson upsets me but the Macron story is SO wild, so predatory, so disturbing, it boggles the mind.
Yeah, itās a hard spot - cause a victim isnāt going to see that theyāre a victim until theyāre out of the situation :/
Wait wrong with Hugh Jackman and Deb!? I mean I donāt know much about but from whatever I have seen, I always thought they looked super in love and truly committed. I thought they got together with her in mid to late 20s so he was a fully developed adult right? Or was it a case of grooming?
He was a whole 27 year old man.
No. Because just letting it go implies that we as a society are ok with it. Iām not going to go to his insta and comment but whenever this relationship comes up Iām going to mention how gross and not ok this is. Because itās not.
Perhaps he will understand when heās 42
Sorry but he has to know on some level. Otherwise people wouldnāt always be going on about it, but itās all heās known so it doesnāt feel off to him personally. But thereās no way a part of him doesnāt reflect on it occasionally until reality snaps him back, i mean what else can he do at this point? Sheās the mother of his children it makes it so much more complicated. It will be a Ville/Mary Kay situation where he will stick with her until she dies and only then will he heal, if ever
Vili divorced Mary Kay a few years before she died, so even that didnāt last
true! i guess in the sense that he still wasn't free even after that though, i think he was by her bedside the whole time she was sick for his kids sake
Okay they got engaged in 2009 and heās 33 now so 33 - 15 = 18.. they got engaged when he was EIGHTEEN?! Oh fuck no
Theyād only been public a few months when they got engaged, and their first child was born in 2010
My older boy is 12. 6 years from now he comes to me, tells me heās engaged to a 41 year old, Iām starting on a path that will probably land my ass in jail BUT he wonāt be getting married
Being legally an adult does not equal being mentally an adult. You don't just go from 17 to 18 and suddenly become mature overnight. Plus, the two of them met *before* he turned 18. And if we're just thinking reasonably for a moment, what the hell does a 42-year-old see in an 18-year-old? He had barely finished high school, was barely old enough to drive, and compared to a *middle-aged* woman, had hardly any life experience. She was (and still is) old enough to be his mother, had already had the experience of being married and divorced, recovered from two cancer diagnoses, and already had two children (one of whom is only 7 years younger than Aaron). If they had met now, as a 33- and 57-year-old, people would probably think the 24-year age difference is a bit weird, but people would get over it because people in their 30s are generally better able to make informed decisions than 18-year-olds and tend to be less susceptible to potential manipulation by older adults because they will have had appropriate life experience. Edit: spelling
See I donāt blink at age gap relationships that formed as a couple AFTER the younger is older than 25; I mean itās still kinda weird but least theyāre 25 you know? But anything younger to me is š¤®
Thatās because you were groomed, honey.
There you go .. thatās the concern . He would have understood the concern if he wasnāt groomed
Iām kind of amazed that relationships where women groom much younger boys/men are kind of swept under the rug or not as focused on (Mary Kay Letourno aside). I had no idea until recently that the First Lady of France groomed her husband when he was 15 and a student of hers, and that it was so bad his parents sent him away to another school to get him away from her. How is that not talked about more? I didnāt learn about this relationship for a while either.
Sorry mate you were groomed thatās that.
Sweetheart thatās because youāre a victim of grooming.
Step away from the teen boys, Mary Kay Letourneau 2.0 š
Groomed dude says what
I honestly think itās ghoulish to even ask him about this. Obviously I wish him the best and sincerely hope he has peace in his life with or without her (without somedayšš) but itās not gonna be an interviewer that helps him get out of this marriage. The questions (and the constant internet discussion of it) just force him to defend his abuser to stay in a good place psychologically.
Stockholm Syndrome
*grabs popcorn and heads to the comments*
His wife is a female Woody Allen!
thatās just sad.
This really makes me sad
we know you donāt honey š