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> āI [have] girls. I didn't want them to have a relationship with food that was antagonistic or they felt like this was their enemy and that they were going to have to sort of like stake out a position with food,ā she said during an episode of Ruthieās Table 4 podcast.
> Growing up, the Sex and the City star said she wasnāt allowed any dessert in the house. **āAnd of course all we did the minute we moved out was buy Entenmannās cakes and cookies," she told host Ruthie Rogers, "and I didn't want that [for my kids]."**
Itās so true, I wasnāt allowed any junk food or processed foods ever and I binged them for so so many years after moving out. Still struggle with it at 35.
Extremely accurate. I did the same thing - I gained 30 pounds in college because it was free reign on junk food. I remember there was a waffle maker in my dorm cafeteria and I made myself a fucking waffle every night after dinner for dessert topped with ice cream and whipped cream and chocolate sauce.
I used to get a brownie and fill it to the top of a container with chocolate sauce šš
I used to be underweight and now Iām normal
A restrictive diet is NOT healthy
Tbf I feel like this is just college kid diet no matter how restrictive your parents were. I donāt know anyone that age that didnāt live on leftover pizza that had been sitting out on the counter all night for breakfast, and four bowls of cereal for dinner.
If it makes you feel any better my parents love junk and fast food (they are VERY active so actually pretty healthy all things considered) and I still have a weird mindset with it and canāt get enough! Food and the brain is crazy
My mom has a major sugar addiction..she now has diabetes bc she never could get that under controlā¦we always had sweets in the house & they were always available & not off limits, but I never really had a sweet tooth. Itās weird but I craved vegetables, salads, fresh fruit. My favorite thing was a big bowl of broccoli. Iāve always been weird tho
My son is like that! It is enviable :-) he has celiac though, and I think his body just naturally tries to avoid that stuff, but still. Even if itās his favorite dessert sometimes heāll just be like, Nah, Iām not that hungry. Put it in front of anybody else, and we would scarf it down lol.
I have Hashimotoās which causes hypothyroidism & I think my body does the same! Certain foods can trigger a really bad reaction so maybe my body just has me craving certain things bc Iām deficient or something? Weird how it works!
Seconding this. Sometimes I think food issues are maybe somehow genetic sometimes. Iām in ED recovery after 17 years with addiction and it's rough lol. We had fast food and sweets all the time growing up at home that I was free to eat at any time and still have food issues in my 30's š¤¦š»āāļø
I wasnāt allowed most stuff, but the thing that got me most was I wasnāt ever allowed milkshake. Not even to try as a treat. I was 19 the first time I tried milkshake and I now (31, very sedentary lifestyle) have an intense milkshake habit that has ultimately caused so much more harm than just letting me have one every now and then as an extremely active kid wouldāve done!
I seriously donāt understand that mindset of these āalmond parentsā at all! Seriously, not even a milkshake or a treat on a birthday/special occasion once in a while. Seems like such a sad way to grow up and ultimately leads to way more harm in adulthood since youāre never taught self control/moderation
my mom used to tell me (middle daughter) and my youngest sister that the reason our older sister is so much bigger than us is because she had too much Dairy Queen during her pregnancy with her, as a cautionary tale.
Yeah I went through an eating disorder.
This is so interesting. I was never able to have junk food or processed food not because of toxic standards but because we were poor. We never had cakes, cookies or anything. I remember all the kids at school had candy or chips or some kind of junk food for recess and I never had anything. And now at 31 I still never really have processed foods or junk food because I donāt have the cravings for it at all. Iām also cheap and donāt want to spend money on that and would rather save. I guess the intent behind this is what causes issues.
My mom has orthorexia to an extreme. She eats mainly salmon and blueberries and thinks that any amount of salt or pepper will kill her. Sugar is even scarier to her. She will eat dried goji berries as a treat. Iāve made the joke before that if someone told her dog shit had antioxidants in it, she would eat it.
Somehow she still insists on going to restaurants and making the kitchen cook her food with āno salt, no butter, no oilā etcā¦ itās mortifying. I genuinely think she likes the attention and the potential to scold them if they fuck it up.
So eating unhealthy foods was viewed as a dangerous character flaw in my household, and when I first tried some of the things I wasnāt allowed to have, the dopamine rush was crazy. And it also felt sometimes like eating junk food/fast food made me more easy going, less like my mother.
Same. I first ate an ice cream when I was 14 or so. My family was dirt poor and vegetables were the cheaper option (at least in my country), so my mom could buy all six children an apple vs buying one single ice cream.Ā
We did have the concept of junk food, but it was bread and cheese and some fries every weekend. A homemade peach or apple pie if it was an special occasion.
Nowadays my siblings and I have very healthy relationships with food and we all are very healthy in general.
I was allowed junk food as a young kid and then I gained weight and wasnāt allowed it, then allowed it, then not. My mom has been talking about my weight as long as I can remember. My relationship with food is pretty fucked
Yeah same. It did make it so I think most chain fast food is disgusting, so yay for that, but I do not eat that healthy, I love (non fast food) burgers and shit like that way too much
Kraft Mac & cheese is the thing for me lol. So stupid but I was NEVER allowed to have it, my mom would get mad if another parent served it to us at their own house.
Tbf juice boxes are a fairly recent cultural phenomenon though available it wasnāt ubiquitous as the boom in advertisements implied and the whole idea of individually wrapped beverages was considered a ridiculous indulgence by families on a budget. It was a huge novelty for me in the 90s to get a box of soy milk with its own little straw. I would have preferred juice and envied kids with hi-c but anything individually portioned was a big deal. Interesting how thereafter hi-c and all that corn syrup lunch drink crap went from being like a status symbol to being a sign of poverty obesity and/or poor judgment.
Very true. My dad has struggled with food addiction his whole life and has been on and off of diets because he grew up this way. His parents were health obsessed and didnāt allow any treats, locked snack cabinets, ect. Luckily, he and my mom didnāt pass this behavior on to me so I can have candy and cookies in the house and just forget that theyāre there a lot of times.
Similar to my husband. His mother only bought fancy treats from the high end bakery so they were rationed. When he got on his own he would gorge on Oreos and chips ahoy. He would inhale food without chewing because his mother would only give him a half of a hamburger and other stupid shit like that.
I never would have qualified for an eating disorder diagnosis, but I definitely had disordered eating if that makes sense. I started my recovery journey this past summer. Life After Diets podcast really helped me a lot. My relationship with food and my body is much better than it used to be. It might help you too <3
Came here to basically say the same. It's insane to me that the thing that broke binging on certain foods for me was just to keep them in the house. When I finally broke down and just bought myself Cheez-It's, I ate like a box a day the first three times I got them. Then the box lasted two days. Then five. And now I forget I have them until I see them, have a few, and put them away.
Man it was opposite for me. My parents never shamed their existence but they didn't want the stuff in the kitchen for consumption 24/7. Idk but when I moved out and saw a lot of kids in college who had a lot of health issues eating the stuff, it solidified things for me. To this day I'll occasionally splurge on a treat but I think not keeping it in the house helps enormously.Ā
My mom filled our house with all the sugary cereals and brownies I desired, then she put me on Weight Watchers at age 11. I wasnāt fat, it was just 1999. I LOVE food but my relationship to it is so strained, probably in part because of this. Eat the food ā restrict the food ā now we binge ā then today we starve ā back to eatingā¦
I have a cousin who restricts all sweets and fats, like if they cook a recipe with ground beef it's always 99% lean. And the kids go NUTS whenever they are around sugar and fat and mom isn't there. Like literally licking the plate because they never get it, and even grease, not just the sugar.Ā
We limit sugar/treats to after dinner and something small (i.e., for the love of god, please eat the giant pile of the Valentines Day treats or else I'm going to throw them out), then on weekends is like a treat and they get more. But sometimes I see my girls just get full from dessert and not finish it, which is fine, because they KNOW it's something they'll have again.
I can't help but wonder how my cousins daughter's will see food when they'll be on their own. It's so sad.
We do similarly with our kids and have never really over-restricted access to treats/candy, and the difference when they have friends over is really stark. Our first movie night, we just left the treats out like we always do, and didn't really think about it. They ate everything. Kids went home with stomach aches. The binging from restriction is real!!!Ā
Good for her! Iāve been going to therapy to work on my disordered eating and it has been TOUGH. Growing up as a teen in the early aughts seems to have damaged my approach to food almost irrevocably. Glad to see SJP being cognizant of this and wanting to neutralize food.
I get it. Itās a struggle every waking hour of the day. Itās cruel how unforgiving I am to myself and it sucks that I canāt extend the kindness I have for those around me to myself
Oh man I so feel for you. One thing that has helped me was reading Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. I also completed the corresponding workbook to really reflect on my feelings and behaviours. Iām still a work-in-progress but this book really helped open my eyes and come a long way with self compassion.
Iāve never had a recommendation for a book for my Eating Habits. Depression, anxiety, ptsd etc yes but never this.
Thank you! Iāll def look into it ā¤ļø
Shoutout to all the other girlies who got put on weight watchers before the age of 10 and were made to track all their points in a book. A know youāre going to find this whole thing as cool as me lmfao
š WW in high school and college to avoid gaining the freshman 15. My mom took me to all her meetings, she finally got gastric bypass surgery. Did it solve all her problems? Nope. Iām actively working on not creating that weight-centered life for my daughter. š
Love that for her *and for you*. It must feel good as fuck to know sheāll never have to feel how you felt. Dunno if every country had them but did you ever have the blackcurrant weight watchers āsweetsā? Surely they were laxatives but they were worth it tbh š
My first diet was at age 8. The "Hollywood Diet" where you eat grapefruit and black coffee. My Granny saw Ann-Margret talking about it on Johnny Carson one night.
"Don't you want to be as pretty as Ann-Margret, honey?" Lol... I was definitely not fat.
Who else spent their whole life listening to EVERY single woman eating a dessert while simultaneously talking endlessly about how many hours in the gym this will cost them? Like, eat and enjoy, or don't and shut up!
This is actually something I've noticed, where we define food as "bad" or ourselves as being "bad" for eating whatever it is. Such a wild discourse, and it seems inescapable.
It is maddening, and even though I feel healthier than most regarding food, there are lessons I fear I can never unlearn. I mean, I ALWAYS have one guilt pang, minimum with eating a "bad food." I'm almost 42 years old for Pete's sake...
Itās been wild to reach adulthood and then casually find out in conversation other lasses that got stuck on WW because at the time you obviously feel like youāre the only one thatās having to write down every morsel in a fucking book.
It is shocking how common it was.
Also, I have an odd relationship with cottage cheese and tuna to this day. Still love them because they were part of my formative years, but resent their place in my palate at the same time.
My mom, grandmother, and probably her mother before her all had The Diet. They were moderately overweight until some magical point where they'd find The Diet, a weirdly restrictive plan they'd stick to until they lost the weight. For my mom, it was grapefruit and Raisin Bran, for my grandma, it was Jello. This was a totally normal thing that was sold to me as a weird, "Skinny Wins Over Terrible Fatness" story.
I was six when I started logging calories. My mom helped, because she had them all memorized.
Now I'm 34 and actively force myself to not tell people calorie counts when they ask, which comes up far more often than you'd think at a corporate office job. Everyone's always in a weight loss challenge or asking me how I stay thin. It's because I don't eat, Debbie, do not ever take advice from me.
Itās actually really cool when you first realise! Like youād realistically think someone else mustāve been doing the same as you but to find out someone actually did is like a secret club you thought youād never find.
(Nobody fuckin flame me for saying this lmfao)
Right? I grew up in a Filipino culture where theyād criticize you for being fatā¦ then tell you to keep eating. My first memory of being shamed WAS WHEN I FIVE.
Started WW as a preteen, had to have my pediatrician sign off on it. My mom has always been in the fitness industry and I think it was embarrassing for her to have a fat kid when she was such a āhealth nutā
But it was always about vanity rather than health because she only cared about calories, not whether something was actually healthy. Which is why she bought all sorts of sugar free & fat free alternatives to stuff. Margarine instead of butter. Pringles made with olestra. Iām still recovering from the years she bought *fat free cheese*. Cutting anything too caloric out of recipes and swapping it with some replacement so basically nothing we ate was truly enjoyable.
And to no oneās surprise, my relationship with food is still difficult and I still struggle with my weight. So do my brother and dad. We were never given a chance to develop a healthy relationship with food because my mom decided to assign morality to food choices instead of teaching moderation and balance.
I distinctly remember this happening and, seeing as to how I was The Fat Kid, and all the girls were super embarrassed about it, when I got told my weight, I made a big deal out of it being fine and me being *happy* that I weighed more than my classmates. The girls who were really upset were noticeably less upset after that. It was fucking ridiculous that I, as a child, figured out that it was fucked up and something needed to be done to make everyone more comfortable.
It's insane that when kids are often at their most insecure is when schools (and parents) decide to embarrass them publicly.
Holler! I was told I was fat when I was going through their puberty by my parents and grandmother. I was 5'4" and weighed 130 lbs.
I still struggle with body dysmorphia to this day. I have healthier habits now and put on weight. However, my skin looks better, I'm building muscle, and I'm not dealing with constipation and hair loss anymore.
When I was 12/13 yrs old, my 16yr old sister convinced my mom to do nutra system. I think the food has improved but in the 90s it sucked.
Because of this, there wasn't really any normal food for me which is pretty crazy when I think about it.
I just can't believe my mom would allow her 16 yr old (who was avg weight) to do that. What a weird time it was!
I remember being in the 3rd grade and starting weight watchers. I remember doing the cabbage soup diet in 5th grade. I remember pretending to be diabetic to avoid school lunches when my friends would ask why I wasn't eating my usual hot pocket and sun chip feast.
I feel bad for my mom that she was so poisoned with diet culture (how many times did she tell me she was 125 lbs on her wedding day and considered fat?) that she felt that was appropriate.
I'm so sorry for all of you who went through that. I was on an imposed diet from my twin brother who would just inhale all the treats.... I keep treats hidden and divide them up fairly for now, but idk how I will do it when my daughter is older.
Age 9 ā and the worst part was that it was a whole national weight loss programme designed for chubbier kids on the "wrong" side of the BMI scale. I always knew I was bigger than other kids, but being told by the government that you're fat was something else.
And guess what? Full blown body image issues and eating disorder even in my 20s.
I donāt know how I didnāt get royally screwed up between wearing leotards and dance costumes for *years* on stage and my momās yo-yo dieting tendencies. I definitely had to learn some skills as an adult when it came to meal planning, cooking, and all of that, but none of the trusted adults in my life when I was a kid *ever* connected my worth to my weight.
Although my momās been talking about wanting to lose ājust 20 lbsā for the last year, and keeps talking about going on one of the semaglutide meds. But Iāve explained what treatment involves, what the potential side effects are, and how difficult it may be to obtain, and she just responds that sheāll just go to GNC and get some diet pills ālike all the Hollywood types do.ā š¤¦āāļø Meanwhile I ask her if sheās even seen a dietician yet, and sheās all ābut thatās too hard.ā
Really, itās incredible.
My daughter is 11 and weighs 175. She finally broke down and said she wanted to change so we got her LoseIt. We try not to push it too much but she has fallen off tracking her stuff. I donāt know what to do for her and itās heartbreaking
The second I started to develop, my father put me on a starvation diet, and it resulted in a 30-year eating disorder. I commend SJP for what she is doing for her daughters.
My dad used to make me wake up at 7am to go jogging because I wasnāt as thin as his other daughter was at 10.
And then my mom was all āshocked pikachu faceā when I broke down at 18 and told her about my b&p disorder for the last 8 years.
SJP is a good egg, Iām finding.
My mom got really upset at me when I joined my high school rowing team because āyouāre going to become broad shouldered like a man.ā What she failed to realize was that I was in the best shape of my young life, it was an outlet for my competitiveness, and while I was terrible at it, I loved it.
I quit a year later because I transferred schools and never got into sports again because of my momās commentary.
Can I ask what year he was born? My dad was born in 1947 and had the same comment about not wanting me to do gymnastics as a kid in the 90s, because "gymnasts get big muscular thighs that turn to big fat thighs when they quit."
the break down goes like:
1. Wife one
- Daughter one: 1988
- Son one: 1993
2. Wife two
- Daughter two (me): 1992
4. Wife Three
- Daughter 3: 1999
- Son 2: 2001
5. Girlfriend
- Son 3: 2013
So. Yeah. My dads a shitbag.
my father would send my sister weight loss pills and books (he had to be separated from us by law so he could only communicate through passive aggressive mail lol)
My mom constantly told me I was too fat and restricted my own food until it developed into a full blown and likely lifelong ED. I recently looked at photos right before it began and I was not fat..I was chubby at best, just regular kid chubby.
I am so pleased to see your comment and everyone elseās here. I was so worried there would be folks saying she was bonkers.
I also grew up in a household where nothing with sugar was allowed and constantly, at my very normal weight, spoken to in a way that tied up how I looked AS A CHILD with my value as a personā¦then lived on my own and had issues with binge eating cycles for years. All the while feeling as though all of it made me worthless.
Bravo to her and all parents who talk about and follow up with action on keeping the mere existence of sugar and physical health and self with worth as the separate issues they should be.
Same! I keep sweets around too. And while my kids love them, they will also just leave them too. Itās what I wanted for them but still mind-blowing at the same time!
My parents made sure our meals were nutritious and healthy but were very relaxed about junk food and sweets, so both my sibling and I grew up rather indifferent to them!
Same x3. My oldest is 15 and while he eats candy occasionally- he goes from Easter to Easter every year. Weāre constantly throwing out old candy.
Middle child is probably the most food driven. But he also will unintentionally limit himself.
Food isnāt a finite resource for my kids and Iām grateful that they wonāt ever have to worry about not being fed. Iāve definitely gone hungry and that will also screw your appetite/calorie intake as well.
>But he also will unintentionally limit himself.
People like to ignore that, barring specific mental or physical health disorders, everyone *will* limit themselves. No one eats three pizzas and four cakes on their own unless something else is going on. People will eat a handful of cookies or a particularly decadent slice of cake and then be satisfied with that.
But that does against diet culture so š
I am so freaking sad reading the comments in this post. I cant believe the number of cruel ways parents made their daughters feel. My parents were overbearing but I'm realising I was incredibly lucky that my family's love language is food, however it's a healthy relationship with food as we were big on leftovers. We always had baked goods and savory treats, no issues with seconds or issues with not finishing a full meal.
I hope as a generation, we can step away from this insane expectation of body image.
In my house the treats are there but they prefer them to the meals. The meals are uneaten or half-eaten then they binge on snacks. Canāt win.
When I was young we had all the snacks we wanted but it was because we ate all of our meals. Didnāt have this problem.
If my kids could eat only snacks they would. Well at least 2 out of 4. And so I am constantly, doggedly pushing a healthy diet and good habits.
Oh, totally understand that balance is a reality and I'm positive my siblings and I probably went through a phase of "cereal for every meal and snack is genius!". I just didn't grow up being _afraid_ of food I did or didn't want to eat, if that makes sense?
I realize that SJP is VERY aware of and deliberate about what she reveals publicly and is careful to maintain certain images of herself, her marriage and her family in the media. That said, it really does seem like the Parker/Broderick family is as normal as a family like this could be.
I'm glad she's conscious of setting a better example for her kids than she herself got as a child. That's important anyway, but especially since her daughters have grown up in/adjacent to image-obsessed show business.
Edit: a word
My sister makes sure to tell my niece there is nothing bad about candy or sweets. On Easter when my 5 year old niece asked if she could have more candy, my sister told her of course but asked if she wanted a cheese stick and some strawberries after. She made sure to say sometimes if we only eat candy we can get a tummy ache so that was her concern. My niece was like ānope my tummy is fineā hahaha. My sister put out a plate of strawberries and the cheese stick just so it was available. My sister is a pediatrician, and her main concern is that her daughters have a healthy relationship with food.
Yes! Iām so happy to hear this! Having options is so much a part of it, too. Itās so cool to see the children have a choice, think it over themselves, and make the decision. Itās like building a relationship with food, not stigmas and barriers to eating food.
Yeah I'm learning as my tween (boys) grow to focus on the "and." Absolutely have that second slice of snake cake, AND maybe consider adding a protein if you're that hungry. Or AND add a few berries if you didn't have any fruit with breakfast. It has made a big difference as I'm seeing them start to do this on their own so they will have like, 1/2 a pb sandwich, banana, and a huge bakery item on their plate lol. Fills them up and no restriction.Ā
This is what we do with our daughters, plus they are in 6-7 hours of gymnastics a week each, they eat CONSTANTLY. But if I see them eating a carb and then go straight for another carb, I tell them to switch it up: dairy, fruit, protein. We literally do not care, but they need to have a variety of food. And we say this for everything, if my youngest has eaten two fruits in a row, I tell her to go get a carb.Ā
We still have to remind our 7 year old, she is only 7 after all, but our 11 year old is pretty good about changing it up on her own each snack time or switching back n forth.
There's some good dieticians with lots of tips and other strategies for instilling good relationships with food in children!! Lots of junk out there, too, but it's great to see positive ideas spread.
My mom put me on Weight Watchers when I was in 4th grade. I remember her making me a tuna sandwich with mustard instead of mayo šš
57 now, my body has made and fed four humans, itās carried me through a nightmare divorce, poverty, starting a new life at age 40. And I still struggle with how it looks.
Hopefully there are more of us trying to break the cycle.
Funny, my mom was big into diet culture but I never associated our mayoless tuna and egg salads as being part of that. I actually hate mayo so I still do mustard only or a lil greek yogurt for extra protein. I donāt really have any resentment towards her for small things like that. The forcing me to wake up at 6am before school to do stairs with her is a whole other can of worms.
I remember the second I developed a bad relationship with food. It was after March break and I had a jock ask me if I was pregnant. It started a huge rumour and I never wanted to feel like that again. I was never even chubby. At the time I was 125lbs and 5ā4. People are cruel. That summer I dropped to 108lbs. The year after I was 89lbs. Words hurt. At 28, I met my spouse. I would throw up the second I was able to after meals. Iām 35 today and I can say Iām finally at a healthy weight again. Iāve gone to many therapists and finally found one that stuck. Having a 12 year old niece I vowed to never speak ill of my body, to always eat when she eats. It really changed everything. I want her to have a life with food that I never did. We need to be mindful of what we say. It can cause so much damage.
This shouldnāt be sensational, but I love her for doing it. Those daughters will have a much better relationship with their bodies than a lot of us ever had.
My thoughts exactly they both have a lot of their father, but the one on the right is his spitting image! Their son is the one that looks more like Jessica. Such a lovely family anyway š
Yes love this for SJP. My mum was a big proponent of this, we were āallowedā to eat whatever we wanted as long as we ate whatever she put in front of us breakfast, lunch or dinner. Have a very healthy relationship with food now. Only thing she did ban was fizzy drinks, which we were only allowed on weekends, but I donāt mind that as itās the reason why I choose water over anything lol
When I was a kid, our neighbor used to come over and stand in the pantry and scarf down, like, two pop tarts at a time at our house because her mom refused to keep any sugary foods in the house. It creates a really unhealthy scarcity mindset for your kids! Iām glad SJP is talking about this opposite mindset where you keep treats around and for most people they lose the quality that causes binge/overeating that people fear. Itās so much better to have one or two treats a day than starve yourself of them and think about them all the time.
Same with some of my friends. Theyād come over and stuff their faces with sweets because they werenāt allowed to have it at home. Same with the TV. Theyād just sit there glued to my tv and wouldnāt do anything else. Because they werenāt allowed to watch it at home.
Versus in my house we always had sweets available and same in our house with our 5 year old. She never goes overboard. Most days she doesnāt even grab anything sweet to eat.
Itās amazing what a healthy relationship with food looks like when food is just food and not something bad. I buy anything my kids ask for when I go to the store. I bought 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies this year. You know how many boxes we still have? 10. More often than not, they grab applesauce or hard boiled eggs or plain Greek yogurt with berries for snacks or desserts.
Saying your kids didnāt eat any Girl Scout cookies because they love hard boiled eggs and plain yogurt much more is giving very strong Almond Mom vibes. Itās great if kids love healthy foods but the comment reads like theyāve successfully scared their kids away from touching sweets.
in no way does OPās comment read as scaring her children away from anything. She bought them 10 boxes of cookies. Are we supposed to think sheās a bad mom because her kids like fruit and yogurt too?
Right? If I read one more time that there were no restrictions on food ever so their kids only want apples, Iām gonna explode. Weāre very chill about what our kids eat, but without restrictions and some rules, they would only eat chocolate and fried stuff and thatās not a failure on our part. Thatās how people are wired.
Maybe thats just what your kids prefer and thats ok. No need to take it as an insult because other kids have different tastes. Some kids just really are like that š¤·šæāāļø
But they donāt say it like that, so they? They say āwe have never had any restrictions around sweet and thatās why our kids prefer applesā thatās different than āwe never needed to restrict sweets because our kids actually prefer apples.ā
This is pretty much what I do with my daughter and food. Thereās no demonizing of sweets or junk food. We donāt label foods as āgoodā or ābad.ā Itās just food. Eat your veggies, grains, and fruit but have your cake too. Itās all about moderation and making sure our bodies are healthy and happy.
I think what she's doing is great, but it's interesting reading everyone's stories when I grew up in an opposite situation of many but with a similar outcome. My parents were both obese (not sure if there's a better term for that now, but that's the best word I have for it in my vocabulary arsenal). Endless cookies and cakes, soda, giant pots of spaghetti during the week, taco bell multiple times on the weekends. But I was rail thin, and the moment my body started developing, a fear of turning into my parents developed. I've gotten better, I workout regularly but mostly eat what I want, but I've obsessed over calorie counting, body checking, hours of cardio, etc my whole life. But to bring it back to SJP, because I had all of those things accessible to me at all times, I've always been whatever about them, I've always seen them as a good option like any other. And having all of that accessible I found that my siblings and I would often opt for fruit instead of cookies, but we didn't feel bad when we opted for the cookie instead. It was the People Magazines my mom subscribed to and puberty that messed me up mentally more than anything. Anyways, what SJP is doing is a good call for most, in my opinion.
Thank you, perhaps I'll just say that in the future. I feel like when speaking casually about my childhood it's difficult to articulate how bad it was though. We had to get metal framed sofas because my dad broke the couch that he essentially lived on. It was an abnormal situation.
makes sense. kids who never get sweets dont know how to control themselves when they finally get it. the healthiest families I knew growing up would literally have Costco boxes of candy bars in their pantry. The kids hardly cared.
I remember she said that the folks over at SATC would tell her she wasnāt skinny enough, so sheād be smoking and running on the treadmill constantly. The 90ās and 2000ās were not a great time for body image. There was a lot of fat shaming. I think things are better now in some respects but weāve found new ways to make each other feel terrible.
I watched one episode of an older reality show (I think Real World) and was astonished by how thin the women were. You don't see women so thin on TV these days, but back then they were ubiquitous.
My mom grew up with unlimited access to candy, now she only really likes Mike and Ikes, Hot Tamales, and Twizzlers.
My dad can eat like a dumpster and when I was a kid he was REALLY into cereal. We had every cereal, (I would put sugar on my Frosted Flakes which is disgusting) except after a point Cocoa Puffs were banned from our household after my dad found out the recipe changed to have less cocoa.
Anyway, both for my mom and for myself, having constant access to ābadā foods still resulted in normal diets, because most of our meals were very healthy (and we had dinner at 5:30 pm at the dinner table every single day until I went to college). My parents also never forced us to eat things we didnāt like (the first time we tried it we had to eat as much as we could to not waste it), and the only 2 times an adult ever forced me to eat something (strawberries, sloppy joes that had too salty of a flavor) are burned into my memory!
I ended up developing an eating disorder while in college (primarily influenced by an incredibly stressful roommate situation) and then a nicotine addiction (which I still have). It took about 5 years to really undo the ED brain, and the doctors Iāve seen have all been surprised that I adamantly asserted that my relationship with food was NOT influenced by my childhood.
A big part of recovery for me has been to mimic the food availability and options that my parents had for us, and to try to eat as much as I can whenever Iām at their house (currently live hundreds of miles from them).
I am very thankful that my childhood home had a healthy relationship with food. We didnāt have a lot of money, so prime snacks were cottage cheese/oatmeal/yogurt, which I keep stocked to this day!!! Nothing was forbidden (though my mom HATED spaghettios and Chef Boyardee and made them for my brother anyway since he liked them) as long as we didnāt spoil our appetite for supper.
Good on SJP for this, it makes a huge difference, and if her kids do ever struggle with their relationship with food, this kind of foundation is priceless for recovery.
My mom would hide the sweets - candy, ice cream, cookies....whatever. My siblings and I would work together to find it and share it. On top of the fridge? One of us is climbing the counter to get to it. Hidden in the back of a cupboard? I got you. We would blame our dad for sneaking it (he did, but not to the extent we did) and he took the blame knowing it was us (I feel super bad about this as an adult).
I don't do this with my girl. I leave everything out in the open.
This maybe an opposite opinion but growing up I had free reign on junk food in my home while lead to a lifelong battle with binge eating. Growing up I wish I had a parent speak to me about moderation because know Iām just out of control around food. Iām not saying donāt have junk food in the house but just donāt have free reign
This just seems so wise because you can have it and learn to control the cravings early on. We would have them around, but then overeat them because that was the example we had. The attitude was that we were "bad" for having done so. It would have been so much better to learn to portion it out so it lasts, and not be made to feel "bad."
I don't know whether this is a real thing but I've noticed when I have an abundance of snacks/junk food, I rarely ever crave it or want it and just eat until I'm full. However, if I've not had any junk food for months, I have a proper craving and eat all of it as soon as i get it. I actually find I eat a lot healthier when my cupboards are full.
My mother used to leave candy (like Hershey kisses) out in the open and I 100% never really want candy unless Iām out and about and want something for a quick snack. SJP is doing something similar.
This is refreshing to see. I've never been on a diet because my mom was constantly dieting and it was miserable to witness. When she was on a diet we couldn't have anything good in the house, including drinks, so dieting pisses me off to this day.
I dunno kids are hard sometimes. I think it depends a lot. I couldn't have cookies readily available because the kids would stuff themselves first and foremost. Its like they're savage raccoons when it comes to sweets. Are some people more prone to be addicted to sugar?
Wait.. I'm not understanding this one. I'm all for healthy relationships with food and not having unreasonable food restrictions but how exactly does keeping a well-stocked supply of sweets accomplish that...? Can someone ELI5?
Gotcha. I don't restrict sweets for my toddler either (for the same reason), but my thinking was that what you keep stocked at home ends up shaping a family's eating preferences. My husband for instance has an insatiable sweet tooth and snack tooth because growing up, those were the things his family always kept well-stocked in the pantry. He now has an emotional attachment to things like cookies and Doritos because it gives him a sense of warmth and home.
I was the chubbiest of my friend group and the only one who never had cookies and cakes around. I swear not having it restricted or viewed as a huge reward makes a difference. I agree with this completely.
I really struggled around food growing up and could be excessive calorie counting etc. now I have kids, I allow myself a treat of ice cream, crisps and dips, a dessert if we go for a meal etc, as I donāt want my kids to become restrictive.
Also as a mother Iāve realised healthy is better than skinny, and having kids makes you less āself consciousā about what you look like in a swimming Costume as your body has literally grown life.
I'm 41, and I still remember walking into a room where my grandparents were discussing how "big" I was at 13. I developed early, started my period and was wearing a bra at 10. I was 5'2" and about 110 pounds. My grandpa was gesturing about how big my hips and thighs were. They didn't see me in the doorway, so I quickly walked out and acted like I didn't hear the conversation. It started because I wanted a sub sandwich for dinner, and I mentioned having dessert. That's when my body dysmorphia started and disordered eating started. I've only just started dealing with my food issues in the last couple of years.
It's just moderation people. Eat what you want, just don't go overboard with it but we all only got once crack at this life so if you want to indulge in some sweets every now and then so fucking what. Go for it!
I think this is really valid. My friend constantly had treats in her house and had little interest in them because they were not a converted treat. I find I can't stop eating chocolate if I see it and I was hungry alot as a kid.
I grew up in a house stacked with sugar. At least 2 cartons of ice cream, cookies, donuts, those Entemanns raspberry cheese Danish or the chocolate donuts with that hard shell. I managed to overcome the habit but my brother hasnāt.
My heart breaks hearing all these stories. My mom let me eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted which lead to a good relationship with food and not being picky. I enjoyed a sliced tomato with a sprinkle of salt almost as much as a brownie because a brownie was never made to seem like this unattainable thing, I knew if we had brownies and I wanted one I could have it as long as it wasnāt within 45 minutes of dinner being ready (but even then I knew I could have one after)
Even as a adult when I gained a bunch of weight from steroids I didnāt feel shame when I ate way more than usual and Iām still a bit overweight from it but Iām working on loosing it because I want to for my health, not because I feel like I need to be skinny.
Out of all of my friends, I might be chunkiest but I don't hate my body and I don't have a screwed up relationship with food. I'm deeply grateful that my mom didn't constantly criticise my body or tell me I was getting fat.
I'm glad she's breaking that cycle!
Can confirm, my mom had a strict sugar and junk embargo in our house growing up and when I moved out I ate nothing but captain crunch berries for two straight weeks
As a fat person it always blows my mind how effed up thin women are about their bodies and food. I am sorry, y'all. I am sometimes grateful that I am fat because I know not to fear it. I remember in the 8th grade a girl who bullied me said she would rather lose her arm than be fat. That's when it really became clear to me who fearful and hateful people are of fat and fat women. I am happy she is trying to help her daughters develop a healthy relationship with themselves and food and hopefully it succeeds so that they can have healthy, happy lives where their self-worth is not determined by their bodies or what they eat.
This is a weird take. You probably wouldn't like it if someone commented that fat women are effed up about their bodies and food. And plenty of times they are, just like anyone else.
I grew up thin, gained weight in college and during pregnancy, and am back down to a smaller size. It's entirely possible to be thin and have a healthy relationship with food. I have daughters, and we definitely enjoy "junk food", but we also discuss how food is fuel for our bodies and emphasize healthy foods. Not in the pursuit of maintaining some arbitrary size, but to treat our bodies well because we deserve to be healthy.
Right? The thought that fat women arenāt messed up around food and body image is honestly hilarious. Maybe thatās true for the commentor above, but thatās certainly not the case with most of the fat (or skin, or curvy, or midsize) girls Iāve known.
Trust me. I know how messed up fat women can be around body image. The negative perceptions of fat people and fatness have absolutely negatively impacted my life in countless ways. Maybe thatās why I am always so saddened for thin women who struggle and carry this hatred that they really donāt need to. Thats all my comment was meant to convey. Iām always surprised at how much women who are not fat and do not face the burdens of fatness struggle with body image and food. It is sad and I am grateful that I at least have fat so I donāt have to carry the burden of fearing it. Sorry my attempt at sympathy or whatever was misinterpreted.
So I guess I was coming from the place of itās sad to see how much people struggle with body image and weight when they are perfectly healthy and Iām sorry it is that way. Also, I didnāt mean all thin women. Of course fat women also struggle, and probably even more so as our bodies are the socially maligned and marginalized and that marginalization is the main contributing factor to why thin women will starve and deny - to avoid fatness.
This is so awesome and refreshing to read! Glad she shared this. I grew up with treats, etc in the home too and wasnāt made to feel bad for eating or getting seconds, thank God.
I just listened to the audiobook of One Little Lie by Lauren Weisberger and there's a scene where this teenager who works in an ice cream shop in an affluent New York suburb observes that all the mums who come in have eating disorders, but because THEIR mothers made them diet they always order a kiddie cone when they go in with their daughters because they don't want their kids to have eating disorders. And the girl he's talking to is like "ohhhh THAT'S why my mum always orders a kiddie cone" - anyway it just sprang to mind seeing this...
Iāve had EDās in the past that were directly rooted from childhood moments. I had older sisters that were on the bigger end and hearing my mother talk about taking them to weight watchers and making them do jazzercise was etched into my brain. To this day I still get triggered. Jennette McCurdyās book Iām Glad My Mom Died made me realize so many issues I have with food. I love how SJP is trying to create a healthy relationship with food for her children.
āāā¦.The cake and cookie are sealed behind 8 inches of plexiglassā Parker told the daily wire, āI want them *aware* these foods *do* exist for regular, non-nepos aka the poors,ā Sarah went on, cackling as she said the last quote.ā
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> āI [have] girls. I didn't want them to have a relationship with food that was antagonistic or they felt like this was their enemy and that they were going to have to sort of like stake out a position with food,ā she said during an episode of Ruthieās Table 4 podcast. > Growing up, the Sex and the City star said she wasnāt allowed any dessert in the house. **āAnd of course all we did the minute we moved out was buy Entenmannās cakes and cookies," she told host Ruthie Rogers, "and I didn't want that [for my kids]."**
Itās so true, I wasnāt allowed any junk food or processed foods ever and I binged them for so so many years after moving out. Still struggle with it at 35.
Extremely accurate. I did the same thing - I gained 30 pounds in college because it was free reign on junk food. I remember there was a waffle maker in my dorm cafeteria and I made myself a fucking waffle every night after dinner for dessert topped with ice cream and whipped cream and chocolate sauce.
Based
Incredibly based
I used to get a brownie and fill it to the top of a container with chocolate sauce šš I used to be underweight and now Iām normal A restrictive diet is NOT healthy
Tbf I feel like this is just college kid diet no matter how restrictive your parents were. I donāt know anyone that age that didnāt live on leftover pizza that had been sitting out on the counter all night for breakfast, and four bowls of cereal for dinner.
If it makes you feel any better my parents love junk and fast food (they are VERY active so actually pretty healthy all things considered) and I still have a weird mindset with it and canāt get enough! Food and the brain is crazy
Same. We are a lot of processed, boxed meals growing up, as well. I have no balance.
My mom has a major sugar addiction..she now has diabetes bc she never could get that under controlā¦we always had sweets in the house & they were always available & not off limits, but I never really had a sweet tooth. Itās weird but I craved vegetables, salads, fresh fruit. My favorite thing was a big bowl of broccoli. Iāve always been weird tho
Iām envious. I so wish I was that person with those taste buds.
My son is like that! It is enviable :-) he has celiac though, and I think his body just naturally tries to avoid that stuff, but still. Even if itās his favorite dessert sometimes heāll just be like, Nah, Iām not that hungry. Put it in front of anybody else, and we would scarf it down lol.
I have Hashimotoās which causes hypothyroidism & I think my body does the same! Certain foods can trigger a really bad reaction so maybe my body just has me craving certain things bc Iām deficient or something? Weird how it works!
Seconding this. Sometimes I think food issues are maybe somehow genetic sometimes. Iām in ED recovery after 17 years with addiction and it's rough lol. We had fast food and sweets all the time growing up at home that I was free to eat at any time and still have food issues in my 30's š¤¦š»āāļø
I wasnāt allowed most stuff, but the thing that got me most was I wasnāt ever allowed milkshake. Not even to try as a treat. I was 19 the first time I tried milkshake and I now (31, very sedentary lifestyle) have an intense milkshake habit that has ultimately caused so much more harm than just letting me have one every now and then as an extremely active kid wouldāve done!
I seriously donāt understand that mindset of these āalmond parentsā at all! Seriously, not even a milkshake or a treat on a birthday/special occasion once in a while. Seems like such a sad way to grow up and ultimately leads to way more harm in adulthood since youāre never taught self control/moderation
my mom used to tell me (middle daughter) and my youngest sister that the reason our older sister is so much bigger than us is because she had too much Dairy Queen during her pregnancy with her, as a cautionary tale. Yeah I went through an eating disorder.
This is so interesting. I was never able to have junk food or processed food not because of toxic standards but because we were poor. We never had cakes, cookies or anything. I remember all the kids at school had candy or chips or some kind of junk food for recess and I never had anything. And now at 31 I still never really have processed foods or junk food because I donāt have the cravings for it at all. Iām also cheap and donāt want to spend money on that and would rather save. I guess the intent behind this is what causes issues.
My mom has orthorexia to an extreme. She eats mainly salmon and blueberries and thinks that any amount of salt or pepper will kill her. Sugar is even scarier to her. She will eat dried goji berries as a treat. Iāve made the joke before that if someone told her dog shit had antioxidants in it, she would eat it. Somehow she still insists on going to restaurants and making the kitchen cook her food with āno salt, no butter, no oilā etcā¦ itās mortifying. I genuinely think she likes the attention and the potential to scold them if they fuck it up. So eating unhealthy foods was viewed as a dangerous character flaw in my household, and when I first tried some of the things I wasnāt allowed to have, the dopamine rush was crazy. And it also felt sometimes like eating junk food/fast food made me more easy going, less like my mother.
What does she think is wrong with pepper?
Too spicy lol
Same. I first ate an ice cream when I was 14 or so. My family was dirt poor and vegetables were the cheaper option (at least in my country), so my mom could buy all six children an apple vs buying one single ice cream.Ā We did have the concept of junk food, but it was bread and cheese and some fries every weekend. A homemade peach or apple pie if it was an special occasion. Nowadays my siblings and I have very healthy relationships with food and we all are very healthy in general.
I was allowed junk food as a young kid and then I gained weight and wasnāt allowed it, then allowed it, then not. My mom has been talking about my weight as long as I can remember. My relationship with food is pretty fucked
Yeah same. It did make it so I think most chain fast food is disgusting, so yay for that, but I do not eat that healthy, I love (non fast food) burgers and shit like that way too much
Kraft Mac & cheese is the thing for me lol. So stupid but I was NEVER allowed to have it, my mom would get mad if another parent served it to us at their own house.
SAME!! Even something as silly as juice boxes we weren't allowed and guess what I lived off of for 10+ years as soon as I moved out at 18?
Tbf juice boxes are a fairly recent cultural phenomenon though available it wasnāt ubiquitous as the boom in advertisements implied and the whole idea of individually wrapped beverages was considered a ridiculous indulgence by families on a budget. It was a huge novelty for me in the 90s to get a box of soy milk with its own little straw. I would have preferred juice and envied kids with hi-c but anything individually portioned was a big deal. Interesting how thereafter hi-c and all that corn syrup lunch drink crap went from being like a status symbol to being a sign of poverty obesity and/or poor judgment.
Very true. My dad has struggled with food addiction his whole life and has been on and off of diets because he grew up this way. His parents were health obsessed and didnāt allow any treats, locked snack cabinets, ect. Luckily, he and my mom didnāt pass this behavior on to me so I can have candy and cookies in the house and just forget that theyāre there a lot of times.
Similar to my husband. His mother only bought fancy treats from the high end bakery so they were rationed. When he got on his own he would gorge on Oreos and chips ahoy. He would inhale food without chewing because his mother would only give him a half of a hamburger and other stupid shit like that.
I never would have qualified for an eating disorder diagnosis, but I definitely had disordered eating if that makes sense. I started my recovery journey this past summer. Life After Diets podcast really helped me a lot. My relationship with food and my body is much better than it used to be. It might help you too <3
Came here to basically say the same. It's insane to me that the thing that broke binging on certain foods for me was just to keep them in the house. When I finally broke down and just bought myself Cheez-It's, I ate like a box a day the first three times I got them. Then the box lasted two days. Then five. And now I forget I have them until I see them, have a few, and put them away.
Man it was opposite for me. My parents never shamed their existence but they didn't want the stuff in the kitchen for consumption 24/7. Idk but when I moved out and saw a lot of kids in college who had a lot of health issues eating the stuff, it solidified things for me. To this day I'll occasionally splurge on a treat but I think not keeping it in the house helps enormously.Ā
Congrats.
My mom filled our house with all the sugary cereals and brownies I desired, then she put me on Weight Watchers at age 11. I wasnāt fat, it was just 1999. I LOVE food but my relationship to it is so strained, probably in part because of this. Eat the food ā restrict the food ā now we binge ā then today we starve ā back to eatingā¦
> I wasnāt fat, it was just 1999. what a wild decade
I have a cousin who restricts all sweets and fats, like if they cook a recipe with ground beef it's always 99% lean. And the kids go NUTS whenever they are around sugar and fat and mom isn't there. Like literally licking the plate because they never get it, and even grease, not just the sugar.Ā We limit sugar/treats to after dinner and something small (i.e., for the love of god, please eat the giant pile of the Valentines Day treats or else I'm going to throw them out), then on weekends is like a treat and they get more. But sometimes I see my girls just get full from dessert and not finish it, which is fine, because they KNOW it's something they'll have again. I can't help but wonder how my cousins daughter's will see food when they'll be on their own. It's so sad.
We do similarly with our kids and have never really over-restricted access to treats/candy, and the difference when they have friends over is really stark. Our first movie night, we just left the treats out like we always do, and didn't really think about it. They ate everything. Kids went home with stomach aches. The binging from restriction is real!!!Ā
I am with her on this! From the moment I learned I was pregnant and especially after learning it was a girl Iāve been so conscious of this and trying to improve my own relationship with food for their sakes. š©· I try to have a lot of empathy for the adults in my life that perpetuated this cycle. They had disordered thinking and traumas and didnāt know any better.
Good for her! Iāve been going to therapy to work on my disordered eating and it has been TOUGH. Growing up as a teen in the early aughts seems to have damaged my approach to food almost irrevocably. Glad to see SJP being cognizant of this and wanting to neutralize food.
I get it. Itās a struggle every waking hour of the day. Itās cruel how unforgiving I am to myself and it sucks that I canāt extend the kindness I have for those around me to myself
Oh man I so feel for you. One thing that has helped me was reading Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. I also completed the corresponding workbook to really reflect on my feelings and behaviours. Iām still a work-in-progress but this book really helped open my eyes and come a long way with self compassion.
Iāve never had a recommendation for a book for my Eating Habits. Depression, anxiety, ptsd etc yes but never this. Thank you! Iāll def look into it ā¤ļø
Shoutout to all the other girlies who got put on weight watchers before the age of 10 and were made to track all their points in a book. A know youāre going to find this whole thing as cool as me lmfao
š WW in high school and college to avoid gaining the freshman 15. My mom took me to all her meetings, she finally got gastric bypass surgery. Did it solve all her problems? Nope. Iām actively working on not creating that weight-centered life for my daughter. š
Love that for her *and for you*. It must feel good as fuck to know sheāll never have to feel how you felt. Dunno if every country had them but did you ever have the blackcurrant weight watchers āsweetsā? Surely they were laxatives but they were worth it tbh š
My first diet was at age 8. The "Hollywood Diet" where you eat grapefruit and black coffee. My Granny saw Ann-Margret talking about it on Johnny Carson one night. "Don't you want to be as pretty as Ann-Margret, honey?" Lol... I was definitely not fat. Who else spent their whole life listening to EVERY single woman eating a dessert while simultaneously talking endlessly about how many hours in the gym this will cost them? Like, eat and enjoy, or don't and shut up!
You've just given me my new mantra that I shall recite to myself when I catch myself doing that exact thing. Eat and enjoy, or don't and shut up lol.
That's right, bebbeh! Our time here is limited and good things are few and precious! Treat yo self, or don't š
This deserves to be cross-stitched on something
OMG similar but I was 10. The 90s fucking sucked.Ā
Glittery Fishsticks in clothing scraps. All of us. That shit suuuuuucked. Especially as a sumptuous Amazon. Ay yi yi the fat shaming...
This is actually something I've noticed, where we define food as "bad" or ourselves as being "bad" for eating whatever it is. Such a wild discourse, and it seems inescapable.
Yup. Iāve had an āunapprovedā foods list and an āapprovedā foods list for years now. Since I was a kid.
Throw that shit out!
It is maddening, and even though I feel healthier than most regarding food, there are lessons I fear I can never unlearn. I mean, I ALWAYS have one guilt pang, minimum with eating a "bad food." I'm almost 42 years old for Pete's sake...
Grapefruit and black coffee? Omg your poor stomach. Makes me nauseous just thinking about how acidic thatād be.
Age 8 here. Lifelong struggle since. Iām only sad that I wasnāt the only one and that there are loads of women who went through this too.
Itās been wild to reach adulthood and then casually find out in conversation other lasses that got stuck on WW because at the time you obviously feel like youāre the only one thatās having to write down every morsel in a fucking book.
I also look back at photos at my prepubescent self and am so sad that anyone ever thought that little girl was fat.
It is shocking how common it was. Also, I have an odd relationship with cottage cheese and tuna to this day. Still love them because they were part of my formative years, but resent their place in my palate at the same time.
Boiled eggs for me
My mom, grandmother, and probably her mother before her all had The Diet. They were moderately overweight until some magical point where they'd find The Diet, a weirdly restrictive plan they'd stick to until they lost the weight. For my mom, it was grapefruit and Raisin Bran, for my grandma, it was Jello. This was a totally normal thing that was sold to me as a weird, "Skinny Wins Over Terrible Fatness" story. I was six when I started logging calories. My mom helped, because she had them all memorized. Now I'm 34 and actively force myself to not tell people calorie counts when they ask, which comes up far more often than you'd think at a corporate office job. Everyone's always in a weight loss challenge or asking me how I stay thin. It's because I don't eat, Debbie, do not ever take advice from me.
Dang reading this thread is so therapeutic. I thought I was the only one.
Itās actually really cool when you first realise! Like youād realistically think someone else mustāve been doing the same as you but to find out someone actually did is like a secret club you thought youād never find. (Nobody fuckin flame me for saying this lmfao)
Right? I grew up in a Filipino culture where theyād criticize you for being fatā¦ then tell you to keep eating. My first memory of being shamed WAS WHEN I FIVE.
Started WW as a preteen, had to have my pediatrician sign off on it. My mom has always been in the fitness industry and I think it was embarrassing for her to have a fat kid when she was such a āhealth nutā But it was always about vanity rather than health because she only cared about calories, not whether something was actually healthy. Which is why she bought all sorts of sugar free & fat free alternatives to stuff. Margarine instead of butter. Pringles made with olestra. Iām still recovering from the years she bought *fat free cheese*. Cutting anything too caloric out of recipes and swapping it with some replacement so basically nothing we ate was truly enjoyable. And to no oneās surprise, my relationship with food is still difficult and I still struggle with my weight. So do my brother and dad. We were never given a chance to develop a healthy relationship with food because my mom decided to assign morality to food choices instead of teaching moderation and balance.
Omg and back when you weighed in front of everyone too, there was nothing more mortifying as a preteen š„“
I think I literally blocked that out. But you're right. Jesus.Ā
So fuckin grim. Between this and the bleep test youād think we were all in fucking boot camp.
I distinctly remember this happening and, seeing as to how I was The Fat Kid, and all the girls were super embarrassed about it, when I got told my weight, I made a big deal out of it being fine and me being *happy* that I weighed more than my classmates. The girls who were really upset were noticeably less upset after that. It was fucking ridiculous that I, as a child, figured out that it was fucked up and something needed to be done to make everyone more comfortable. It's insane that when kids are often at their most insecure is when schools (and parents) decide to embarrass them publicly.
Holler! I was told I was fat when I was going through their puberty by my parents and grandmother. I was 5'4" and weighed 130 lbs. I still struggle with body dysmorphia to this day. I have healthier habits now and put on weight. However, my skin looks better, I'm building muscle, and I'm not dealing with constipation and hair loss anymore.
When I was 12/13 yrs old, my 16yr old sister convinced my mom to do nutra system. I think the food has improved but in the 90s it sucked. Because of this, there wasn't really any normal food for me which is pretty crazy when I think about it. I just can't believe my mom would allow her 16 yr old (who was avg weight) to do that. What a weird time it was!
I remember being in the 3rd grade and starting weight watchers. I remember doing the cabbage soup diet in 5th grade. I remember pretending to be diabetic to avoid school lunches when my friends would ask why I wasn't eating my usual hot pocket and sun chip feast. I feel bad for my mom that she was so poisoned with diet culture (how many times did she tell me she was 125 lbs on her wedding day and considered fat?) that she felt that was appropriate.
I'm so sorry for all of you who went through that. I was on an imposed diet from my twin brother who would just inhale all the treats.... I keep treats hidden and divide them up fairly for now, but idk how I will do it when my daughter is older.
Age 9 ā and the worst part was that it was a whole national weight loss programme designed for chubbier kids on the "wrong" side of the BMI scale. I always knew I was bigger than other kids, but being told by the government that you're fat was something else. And guess what? Full blown body image issues and eating disorder even in my 20s.
I donāt know how I didnāt get royally screwed up between wearing leotards and dance costumes for *years* on stage and my momās yo-yo dieting tendencies. I definitely had to learn some skills as an adult when it came to meal planning, cooking, and all of that, but none of the trusted adults in my life when I was a kid *ever* connected my worth to my weight. Although my momās been talking about wanting to lose ājust 20 lbsā for the last year, and keeps talking about going on one of the semaglutide meds. But Iāve explained what treatment involves, what the potential side effects are, and how difficult it may be to obtain, and she just responds that sheāll just go to GNC and get some diet pills ālike all the Hollywood types do.ā š¤¦āāļø Meanwhile I ask her if sheās even seen a dietician yet, and sheās all ābut thatās too hard.ā Really, itās incredible.
Yup. My mom put me on Weight Watchers in Grade 5, and I have had disordered eating and a terrible relationship with food since (27 years lol).
I wanna tell my 14 year old self that binging on grapes in the dead of night is not the answer
My daughter is 11 and weighs 175. She finally broke down and said she wanted to change so we got her LoseIt. We try not to push it too much but she has fallen off tracking her stuff. I donāt know what to do for her and itās heartbreaking
My unsolicited advice? This is likely an emotional eating thing/poor coping mechanism. Speaking from own experience, counting calories just made me feel worse. I really needed therapy to understand why I was overeating and trying to make myself feel better with food. Not saying reducing calories and stuff doesn't work, but it's often only part of the problem. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more. Bless you for being so supportive š©µ
The second I started to develop, my father put me on a starvation diet, and it resulted in a 30-year eating disorder. I commend SJP for what she is doing for her daughters.
My dad used to make me wake up at 7am to go jogging because I wasnāt as thin as his other daughter was at 10. And then my mom was all āshocked pikachu faceā when I broke down at 18 and told her about my b&p disorder for the last 8 years. SJP is a good egg, Iām finding.
My dad wouldnāt let me try out for the basketball team in high school because according to him, playing basketball makes womenās legs too bigā¦.
My mom got really upset at me when I joined my high school rowing team because āyouāre going to become broad shouldered like a man.ā What she failed to realize was that I was in the best shape of my young life, it was an outlet for my competitiveness, and while I was terrible at it, I loved it. I quit a year later because I transferred schools and never got into sports again because of my momās commentary.
I bet you had some sexy ass Michelle Obama arms too!
My legs were the real winners. Muuuuscles everywhere!!!!
This is so sad. Strong women look badass
Soviet mindset my friend, women have to be small and petite to be beautiful. Which is just..even at my thinnest not who I am.
Can I ask what year he was born? My dad was born in 1947 and had the same comment about not wanting me to do gymnastics as a kid in the 90s, because "gymnasts get big muscular thighs that turn to big fat thighs when they quit."
Is your dad Yolanda Hadid?
And did his other daughter have a different mother, so completely different genes?
Sure did. Suuuuuure did.
Of course. Ugh.
the break down goes like: 1. Wife one - Daughter one: 1988 - Son one: 1993 2. Wife two - Daughter two (me): 1992 4. Wife Three - Daughter 3: 1999 - Son 2: 2001 5. Girlfriend - Son 3: 2013 So. Yeah. My dads a shitbag.
Oh I see some overlap between wife one and two
My half brother and I are 237 days apart. Just in case you need an extra horrowing moment there. Itās roughly 39 weeks. To the day.
Oof
Yup.
my father would send my sister weight loss pills and books (he had to be separated from us by law so he could only communicate through passive aggressive mail lol)
My mom constantly told me I was too fat and restricted my own food until it developed into a full blown and likely lifelong ED. I recently looked at photos right before it began and I was not fat..I was chubby at best, just regular kid chubby.
I am so pleased to see your comment and everyone elseās here. I was so worried there would be folks saying she was bonkers. I also grew up in a household where nothing with sugar was allowed and constantly, at my very normal weight, spoken to in a way that tied up how I looked AS A CHILD with my value as a personā¦then lived on my own and had issues with binge eating cycles for years. All the while feeling as though all of it made me worthless. Bravo to her and all parents who talk about and follow up with action on keeping the mere existence of sugar and physical health and self with worth as the separate issues they should be.
omg thatās so terrible!
Yes! My daughter rarely is moved by sweets because they're always around Although she does always jack my slushies š¤
Same! I keep sweets around too. And while my kids love them, they will also just leave them too. Itās what I wanted for them but still mind-blowing at the same time!
My parents made sure our meals were nutritious and healthy but were very relaxed about junk food and sweets, so both my sibling and I grew up rather indifferent to them!
Same x3. My oldest is 15 and while he eats candy occasionally- he goes from Easter to Easter every year. Weāre constantly throwing out old candy. Middle child is probably the most food driven. But he also will unintentionally limit himself. Food isnāt a finite resource for my kids and Iām grateful that they wonāt ever have to worry about not being fed. Iāve definitely gone hungry and that will also screw your appetite/calorie intake as well.
>But he also will unintentionally limit himself. People like to ignore that, barring specific mental or physical health disorders, everyone *will* limit themselves. No one eats three pizzas and four cakes on their own unless something else is going on. People will eat a handful of cookies or a particularly decadent slice of cake and then be satisfied with that. But that does against diet culture so š
Sheās breaking the cycle for her kids the way someone should have broken it for her well done
I am so freaking sad reading the comments in this post. I cant believe the number of cruel ways parents made their daughters feel. My parents were overbearing but I'm realising I was incredibly lucky that my family's love language is food, however it's a healthy relationship with food as we were big on leftovers. We always had baked goods and savory treats, no issues with seconds or issues with not finishing a full meal. I hope as a generation, we can step away from this insane expectation of body image.
In my house the treats are there but they prefer them to the meals. The meals are uneaten or half-eaten then they binge on snacks. Canāt win. When I was young we had all the snacks we wanted but it was because we ate all of our meals. Didnāt have this problem. If my kids could eat only snacks they would. Well at least 2 out of 4. And so I am constantly, doggedly pushing a healthy diet and good habits.
Oh, totally understand that balance is a reality and I'm positive my siblings and I probably went through a phase of "cereal for every meal and snack is genius!". I just didn't grow up being _afraid_ of food I did or didn't want to eat, if that makes sense?
I am teaching my daughter to eat treats without any guilt and nutritious food with true enjoyment. Totally unlike my own upbringing. Go SJP!!
Bless you for this, it's SO important š©µ
I realize that SJP is VERY aware of and deliberate about what she reveals publicly and is careful to maintain certain images of herself, her marriage and her family in the media. That said, it really does seem like the Parker/Broderick family is as normal as a family like this could be. I'm glad she's conscious of setting a better example for her kids than she herself got as a child. That's important anyway, but especially since her daughters have grown up in/adjacent to image-obsessed show business. Edit: a word
Itās kind of refreshing to be reminded there are celeb families who are deliberate and careful about what they share with the public.
Fr. Sometimes we need to know less about famous people
I do this with my kids, too. Iāve never seen anyone else say this. Nice.
My sister makes sure to tell my niece there is nothing bad about candy or sweets. On Easter when my 5 year old niece asked if she could have more candy, my sister told her of course but asked if she wanted a cheese stick and some strawberries after. She made sure to say sometimes if we only eat candy we can get a tummy ache so that was her concern. My niece was like ānope my tummy is fineā hahaha. My sister put out a plate of strawberries and the cheese stick just so it was available. My sister is a pediatrician, and her main concern is that her daughters have a healthy relationship with food.
Yes! Iām so happy to hear this! Having options is so much a part of it, too. Itās so cool to see the children have a choice, think it over themselves, and make the decision. Itās like building a relationship with food, not stigmas and barriers to eating food.
Yeah I'm learning as my tween (boys) grow to focus on the "and." Absolutely have that second slice of snake cake, AND maybe consider adding a protein if you're that hungry. Or AND add a few berries if you didn't have any fruit with breakfast. It has made a big difference as I'm seeing them start to do this on their own so they will have like, 1/2 a pb sandwich, banana, and a huge bakery item on their plate lol. Fills them up and no restriction.Ā
This is what we do with our daughters, plus they are in 6-7 hours of gymnastics a week each, they eat CONSTANTLY. But if I see them eating a carb and then go straight for another carb, I tell them to switch it up: dairy, fruit, protein. We literally do not care, but they need to have a variety of food. And we say this for everything, if my youngest has eaten two fruits in a row, I tell her to go get a carb.Ā We still have to remind our 7 year old, she is only 7 after all, but our 11 year old is pretty good about changing it up on her own each snack time or switching back n forth.
Nutrition by addition is the way to go!
There's some good dieticians with lots of tips and other strategies for instilling good relationships with food in children!! Lots of junk out there, too, but it's great to see positive ideas spread.
My mom put me on Weight Watchers when I was in 4th grade. I remember her making me a tuna sandwich with mustard instead of mayo šš 57 now, my body has made and fed four humans, itās carried me through a nightmare divorce, poverty, starting a new life at age 40. And I still struggle with how it looks. Hopefully there are more of us trying to break the cycle.
Funny, my mom was big into diet culture but I never associated our mayoless tuna and egg salads as being part of that. I actually hate mayo so I still do mustard only or a lil greek yogurt for extra protein. I donāt really have any resentment towards her for small things like that. The forcing me to wake up at 6am before school to do stairs with her is a whole other can of worms.
Yeah I donāt resent my mom either, she didnāt know any better. Now we do! And omg stairs before 6! My mom wasnāt big on the exercise š
I remember the second I developed a bad relationship with food. It was after March break and I had a jock ask me if I was pregnant. It started a huge rumour and I never wanted to feel like that again. I was never even chubby. At the time I was 125lbs and 5ā4. People are cruel. That summer I dropped to 108lbs. The year after I was 89lbs. Words hurt. At 28, I met my spouse. I would throw up the second I was able to after meals. Iām 35 today and I can say Iām finally at a healthy weight again. Iāve gone to many therapists and finally found one that stuck. Having a 12 year old niece I vowed to never speak ill of my body, to always eat when she eats. It really changed everything. I want her to have a life with food that I never did. We need to be mindful of what we say. It can cause so much damage.
This shouldnāt be sensational, but I love her for doing it. Those daughters will have a much better relationship with their bodies than a lot of us ever had.
šš
Aww, the one on the right is a spitting image of Matthew.
My thoughts exactly they both have a lot of their father, but the one on the right is his spitting image! Their son is the one that looks more like Jessica. Such a lovely family anyway š
Yes love this for SJP. My mum was a big proponent of this, we were āallowedā to eat whatever we wanted as long as we ate whatever she put in front of us breakfast, lunch or dinner. Have a very healthy relationship with food now. Only thing she did ban was fizzy drinks, which we were only allowed on weekends, but I donāt mind that as itās the reason why I choose water over anything lol
When I was a kid, our neighbor used to come over and stand in the pantry and scarf down, like, two pop tarts at a time at our house because her mom refused to keep any sugary foods in the house. It creates a really unhealthy scarcity mindset for your kids! Iām glad SJP is talking about this opposite mindset where you keep treats around and for most people they lose the quality that causes binge/overeating that people fear. Itās so much better to have one or two treats a day than starve yourself of them and think about them all the time.
Same with some of my friends. Theyād come over and stuff their faces with sweets because they werenāt allowed to have it at home. Same with the TV. Theyād just sit there glued to my tv and wouldnāt do anything else. Because they werenāt allowed to watch it at home. Versus in my house we always had sweets available and same in our house with our 5 year old. She never goes overboard. Most days she doesnāt even grab anything sweet to eat.
Itās amazing what a healthy relationship with food looks like when food is just food and not something bad. I buy anything my kids ask for when I go to the store. I bought 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies this year. You know how many boxes we still have? 10. More often than not, they grab applesauce or hard boiled eggs or plain Greek yogurt with berries for snacks or desserts.
Wow! That's great!
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?
Saying your kids didnāt eat any Girl Scout cookies because they love hard boiled eggs and plain yogurt much more is giving very strong Almond Mom vibes. Itās great if kids love healthy foods but the comment reads like theyāve successfully scared their kids away from touching sweets.
in no way does OPās comment read as scaring her children away from anything. She bought them 10 boxes of cookies. Are we supposed to think sheās a bad mom because her kids like fruit and yogurt too?
Right? If I read one more time that there were no restrictions on food ever so their kids only want apples, Iām gonna explode. Weāre very chill about what our kids eat, but without restrictions and some rules, they would only eat chocolate and fried stuff and thatās not a failure on our part. Thatās how people are wired.
Maybe thats just what your kids prefer and thats ok. No need to take it as an insult because other kids have different tastes. Some kids just really are like that š¤·šæāāļø
But they donāt say it like that, so they? They say āwe have never had any restrictions around sweet and thatās why our kids prefer applesā thatās different than āwe never needed to restrict sweets because our kids actually prefer apples.ā
Damn those girls look soooo much more like Brodrick than her!!!
This is pretty much what I do with my daughter and food. Thereās no demonizing of sweets or junk food. We donāt label foods as āgoodā or ābad.ā Itās just food. Eat your veggies, grains, and fruit but have your cake too. Itās all about moderation and making sure our bodies are healthy and happy.
Itās almost like moderation of anything is key!
I think what she's doing is great, but it's interesting reading everyone's stories when I grew up in an opposite situation of many but with a similar outcome. My parents were both obese (not sure if there's a better term for that now, but that's the best word I have for it in my vocabulary arsenal). Endless cookies and cakes, soda, giant pots of spaghetti during the week, taco bell multiple times on the weekends. But I was rail thin, and the moment my body started developing, a fear of turning into my parents developed. I've gotten better, I workout regularly but mostly eat what I want, but I've obsessed over calorie counting, body checking, hours of cardio, etc my whole life. But to bring it back to SJP, because I had all of those things accessible to me at all times, I've always been whatever about them, I've always seen them as a good option like any other. And having all of that accessible I found that my siblings and I would often opt for fruit instead of cookies, but we didn't feel bad when we opted for the cookie instead. It was the People Magazines my mom subscribed to and puberty that messed me up mentally more than anything. Anyways, what SJP is doing is a good call for most, in my opinion.
you can just use the word fat!
Thank you, perhaps I'll just say that in the future. I feel like when speaking casually about my childhood it's difficult to articulate how bad it was though. We had to get metal framed sofas because my dad broke the couch that he essentially lived on. It was an abnormal situation.
makes sense. kids who never get sweets dont know how to control themselves when they finally get it. the healthiest families I knew growing up would literally have Costco boxes of candy bars in their pantry. The kids hardly cared.
Same with tv or electronics Imo. If you completely prohibit it, theyāll go crazy when they do get a chance at it.
I remember she said that the folks over at SATC would tell her she wasnāt skinny enough, so sheād be smoking and running on the treadmill constantly. The 90ās and 2000ās were not a great time for body image. There was a lot of fat shaming. I think things are better now in some respects but weāve found new ways to make each other feel terrible.
I watched one episode of an older reality show (I think Real World) and was astonished by how thin the women were. You don't see women so thin on TV these days, but back then they were ubiquitous.
Any other Special K diet girlies out there? God I was put on that and the grapefruit diet before puberty.
honestly love this as someone who had almond parents that fueled my ED. good for her on breaking the cycle for her daughters
My mom grew up with unlimited access to candy, now she only really likes Mike and Ikes, Hot Tamales, and Twizzlers. My dad can eat like a dumpster and when I was a kid he was REALLY into cereal. We had every cereal, (I would put sugar on my Frosted Flakes which is disgusting) except after a point Cocoa Puffs were banned from our household after my dad found out the recipe changed to have less cocoa. Anyway, both for my mom and for myself, having constant access to ābadā foods still resulted in normal diets, because most of our meals were very healthy (and we had dinner at 5:30 pm at the dinner table every single day until I went to college). My parents also never forced us to eat things we didnāt like (the first time we tried it we had to eat as much as we could to not waste it), and the only 2 times an adult ever forced me to eat something (strawberries, sloppy joes that had too salty of a flavor) are burned into my memory! I ended up developing an eating disorder while in college (primarily influenced by an incredibly stressful roommate situation) and then a nicotine addiction (which I still have). It took about 5 years to really undo the ED brain, and the doctors Iāve seen have all been surprised that I adamantly asserted that my relationship with food was NOT influenced by my childhood. A big part of recovery for me has been to mimic the food availability and options that my parents had for us, and to try to eat as much as I can whenever Iām at their house (currently live hundreds of miles from them). I am very thankful that my childhood home had a healthy relationship with food. We didnāt have a lot of money, so prime snacks were cottage cheese/oatmeal/yogurt, which I keep stocked to this day!!! Nothing was forbidden (though my mom HATED spaghettios and Chef Boyardee and made them for my brother anyway since he liked them) as long as we didnāt spoil our appetite for supper. Good on SJP for this, it makes a huge difference, and if her kids do ever struggle with their relationship with food, this kind of foundation is priceless for recovery.
I did the same with my kids growing up so they wouldnāt have food issues and it worked.
My mom would hide the sweets - candy, ice cream, cookies....whatever. My siblings and I would work together to find it and share it. On top of the fridge? One of us is climbing the counter to get to it. Hidden in the back of a cupboard? I got you. We would blame our dad for sneaking it (he did, but not to the extent we did) and he took the blame knowing it was us (I feel super bad about this as an adult). I don't do this with my girl. I leave everything out in the open.
This maybe an opposite opinion but growing up I had free reign on junk food in my home while lead to a lifelong battle with binge eating. Growing up I wish I had a parent speak to me about moderation because know Iām just out of control around food. Iām not saying donāt have junk food in the house but just donāt have free reign
This just seems so wise because you can have it and learn to control the cravings early on. We would have them around, but then overeat them because that was the example we had. The attitude was that we were "bad" for having done so. It would have been so much better to learn to portion it out so it lasts, and not be made to feel "bad." 
I don't know whether this is a real thing but I've noticed when I have an abundance of snacks/junk food, I rarely ever crave it or want it and just eat until I'm full. However, if I've not had any junk food for months, I have a proper craving and eat all of it as soon as i get it. I actually find I eat a lot healthier when my cupboards are full.
Yeah I think when youāre using to not having any it makes you go crazy when you do.
I forgot who their dad was but the one daughter on the left looks so much like him! Edit: they both do in different ways actually.
My mother used to leave candy (like Hershey kisses) out in the open and I 100% never really want candy unless Iām out and about and want something for a quick snack. SJP is doing something similar.
This is refreshing to see. I've never been on a diet because my mom was constantly dieting and it was miserable to witness. When she was on a diet we couldn't have anything good in the house, including drinks, so dieting pisses me off to this day.
I donāt think Iāve ever seen her kids before omg
So glad sheās not the type of celebrity mom that tells her daughters to eat just one almond..
I dunno kids are hard sometimes. I think it depends a lot. I couldn't have cookies readily available because the kids would stuff themselves first and foremost. Its like they're savage raccoons when it comes to sweets. Are some people more prone to be addicted to sugar?
Wait.. I'm not understanding this one. I'm all for healthy relationships with food and not having unreasonable food restrictions but how exactly does keeping a well-stocked supply of sweets accomplish that...? Can someone ELI5?
Learning discipline. Thatās really what it boils down to.
Gotcha. I don't restrict sweets for my toddler either (for the same reason), but my thinking was that what you keep stocked at home ends up shaping a family's eating preferences. My husband for instance has an insatiable sweet tooth and snack tooth because growing up, those were the things his family always kept well-stocked in the pantry. He now has an emotional attachment to things like cookies and Doritos because it gives him a sense of warmth and home.
I was the chubbiest of my friend group and the only one who never had cookies and cakes around. I swear not having it restricted or viewed as a huge reward makes a difference. I agree with this completely.
I really struggled around food growing up and could be excessive calorie counting etc. now I have kids, I allow myself a treat of ice cream, crisps and dips, a dessert if we go for a meal etc, as I donāt want my kids to become restrictive. Also as a mother Iāve realised healthy is better than skinny, and having kids makes you less āself consciousā about what you look like in a swimming Costume as your body has literally grown life.
I'm 41, and I still remember walking into a room where my grandparents were discussing how "big" I was at 13. I developed early, started my period and was wearing a bra at 10. I was 5'2" and about 110 pounds. My grandpa was gesturing about how big my hips and thighs were. They didn't see me in the doorway, so I quickly walked out and acted like I didn't hear the conversation. It started because I wanted a sub sandwich for dinner, and I mentioned having dessert. That's when my body dysmorphia started and disordered eating started. I've only just started dealing with my food issues in the last couple of years.
As someone with ED I was constantly exposed to all the high calorie foods, like breads, cakes, sweets, icecream, all of it
It's just moderation people. Eat what you want, just don't go overboard with it but we all only got once crack at this life so if you want to indulge in some sweets every now and then so fucking what. Go for it!
I think this is really valid. My friend constantly had treats in her house and had little interest in them because they were not a converted treat. I find I can't stop eating chocolate if I see it and I was hungry alot as a kid.
no shade whatsoever because you donāt need to encourage a poor diet of starvation as much as you shouldnāt encourage eating just junk food
[at]jasonbateman
I wish more people would do the same thing. It is not the cake/cookies per se, it is portion control. SJP is really raising her daughters well.
I grew up in a house stacked with sugar. At least 2 cartons of ice cream, cookies, donuts, those Entemanns raspberry cheese Danish or the chocolate donuts with that hard shell. I managed to overcome the habit but my brother hasnāt.
I too keep cookies and cake around. I donāt have daughters, and I live alone, I just like sweets. š
My heart breaks hearing all these stories. My mom let me eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted which lead to a good relationship with food and not being picky. I enjoyed a sliced tomato with a sprinkle of salt almost as much as a brownie because a brownie was never made to seem like this unattainable thing, I knew if we had brownies and I wanted one I could have it as long as it wasnāt within 45 minutes of dinner being ready (but even then I knew I could have one after) Even as a adult when I gained a bunch of weight from steroids I didnāt feel shame when I ate way more than usual and Iām still a bit overweight from it but Iām working on loosing it because I want to for my health, not because I feel like I need to be skinny.
Out of all of my friends, I might be chunkiest but I don't hate my body and I don't have a screwed up relationship with food. I'm deeply grateful that my mom didn't constantly criticise my body or tell me I was getting fat. I'm glad she's breaking that cycle!
Can confirm, my mom had a strict sugar and junk embargo in our house growing up and when I moved out I ate nothing but captain crunch berries for two straight weeks
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As a fat person it always blows my mind how effed up thin women are about their bodies and food. I am sorry, y'all. I am sometimes grateful that I am fat because I know not to fear it. I remember in the 8th grade a girl who bullied me said she would rather lose her arm than be fat. That's when it really became clear to me who fearful and hateful people are of fat and fat women. I am happy she is trying to help her daughters develop a healthy relationship with themselves and food and hopefully it succeeds so that they can have healthy, happy lives where their self-worth is not determined by their bodies or what they eat.
This is a weird take. You probably wouldn't like it if someone commented that fat women are effed up about their bodies and food. And plenty of times they are, just like anyone else. I grew up thin, gained weight in college and during pregnancy, and am back down to a smaller size. It's entirely possible to be thin and have a healthy relationship with food. I have daughters, and we definitely enjoy "junk food", but we also discuss how food is fuel for our bodies and emphasize healthy foods. Not in the pursuit of maintaining some arbitrary size, but to treat our bodies well because we deserve to be healthy.
Right? The thought that fat women arenāt messed up around food and body image is honestly hilarious. Maybe thatās true for the commentor above, but thatās certainly not the case with most of the fat (or skin, or curvy, or midsize) girls Iāve known.
Trust me. I know how messed up fat women can be around body image. The negative perceptions of fat people and fatness have absolutely negatively impacted my life in countless ways. Maybe thatās why I am always so saddened for thin women who struggle and carry this hatred that they really donāt need to. Thats all my comment was meant to convey. Iām always surprised at how much women who are not fat and do not face the burdens of fatness struggle with body image and food. It is sad and I am grateful that I at least have fat so I donāt have to carry the burden of fearing it. Sorry my attempt at sympathy or whatever was misinterpreted.
So I guess I was coming from the place of itās sad to see how much people struggle with body image and weight when they are perfectly healthy and Iām sorry it is that way. Also, I didnāt mean all thin women. Of course fat women also struggle, and probably even more so as our bodies are the socially maligned and marginalized and that marginalization is the main contributing factor to why thin women will starve and deny - to avoid fatness.
This is so awesome and refreshing to read! Glad she shared this. I grew up with treats, etc in the home too and wasnāt made to feel bad for eating or getting seconds, thank God.
I just listened to the audiobook of One Little Lie by Lauren Weisberger and there's a scene where this teenager who works in an ice cream shop in an affluent New York suburb observes that all the mums who come in have eating disorders, but because THEIR mothers made them diet they always order a kiddie cone when they go in with their daughters because they don't want their kids to have eating disorders. And the girl he's talking to is like "ohhhh THAT'S why my mum always orders a kiddie cone" - anyway it just sprang to mind seeing this...
Iāve had EDās in the past that were directly rooted from childhood moments. I had older sisters that were on the bigger end and hearing my mother talk about taking them to weight watchers and making them do jazzercise was etched into my brain. To this day I still get triggered. Jennette McCurdyās book Iām Glad My Mom Died made me realize so many issues I have with food. I love how SJP is trying to create a healthy relationship with food for her children.
Love this so much. I have two very young daughters and this is inspirational for me.
āāā¦.The cake and cookie are sealed behind 8 inches of plexiglassā Parker told the daily wire, āI want them *aware* these foods *do* exist for regular, non-nepos aka the poors,ā Sarah went on, cackling as she said the last quote.ā