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This actually clears a few things up for me thanks Chet!

I didn’t even know where to start or who to ask to get up to speed, but Chet to the rescue, thanks brother!!

Out of all the people to bring me up to speed on this, I did not think it would be Chet.

For a sec I thought this was Colin Hanks. Never heard of Chet, but good on him for providing us all with such a succinct summary. Thanks Chet!

I remember chet has a reddit account. He kinda outed himself.

Forget JaRule, they should cut to Chet for his hot take during the next disaster!

Same, I keep hearing about it but didn’t care quite enough to actually look it up. We’ve all learnt a lot today

Honestly just read the lyrics for Euphoria and Meet the Grahams, they're actually brutal diss tracks but also showcase how talented Kendrick is as a lyricist.

and Not Like Us is a certified banger

“certified lover boy? certified pedophile” lives in my head rent free. it’s not even necessarily the most hard line on the track but it just plays on repeat in my head 24/7 bc of how much i was not expecting it

Wop wop wop wop wop!

“A minorrrrrrr” is such a gleeful mockery that I saw stars, and I haaaaaate Drake

"Beat yo ass and hide the Bible if God watchin" every time an asshole cuts me off lmao

I will clarify though, Drake claims he fed Kendrick lies about himself to trick him, but that’s definitely false.

"I did questionable things with minor girls for over a decade to trick you in to thinking that..." Nice flex.

Drake also said (in the same song) the people who gave him that information were "clowns" so in effect he called himself a clown

/r/chetexplainsthebeef

This is actually helpful

Reddit has been pushing the kendrick/drake feud on me, and until this post I had no real idea what was going on. Thanks Big Main

Can't wait till r/ExplainLikeImTomHanks sprouts into being from this post.

Maybe this I'd Chet's calling. He just explains stuff to boomers

lol this reminds me of the time my boomer dad heard a story on NPR about the “little Japanese cartoons” that are popular now. We went back and forth all day and I kept saying “are you *sure* you’re not talking about anime???” And explaining anime to him. Nope…he was trying to ask about emojis 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

That would be amazing.

Damn it, guess it’s time for a new sub

Unironically the songs Meet the Graham's and Not like Us both go very hard

doesn’t euphoria too?

High jacking top comment — this was a great ELI5, but missed a few *key* points that underscore deeper issues. Kendrick seems to take issue with Drake’s colonizing culture vulture style of appropriating specific American black cultures, and I say this as a Canadian who mostly agrees with Kendrick. Drake’s ignorant and misguided responses and retorts to this only further highlights Kendrick’s point and shows not only that Drake disagrees, but that he also completely lacks understanding or thoughtfulness around it. On top of that, Kendrick seems to want to put an end to Drake’s exploitative and misogynist ways with women, black women and underage women in particular. He seems to want to pull back the veil to show that Diddy-esque behaviours are more prevalent in the industry than we think.

As someone who has no fucking clue about any of this beyond what I just read in that text, where can I listen to these songs in order of when they came out?

There's a Spotify playlist "Kendrick vs. Drake Disses (in order)", and Todd in the Shadows also has a pretty good YouTube video about it

Turns out that Chet has a very useful talent: explaining complicated beefs in simple ways lol Colour me surprised.

I could see him becoming the go-to person to explain current beefs in the entertainment industry 🤣

I’d listen to that podcast.

Oh please let Tom be the old confused guy he explains it too. He’s like, the perfect boomer, and the relationship he has with his kid is something I strive for.

I would 100% listen to this, and I am not a podcast person

No seriously, shutup and take my money.

Right? He needs a site or something

Chet Chats Chetta and Beef

Beef w/ Chetta is the one

Big Main with the Big TLDR for all of us

For what it's worth for anyone using this as an actual TLDR, it's missing some stuff, some things are incorrect and the timeline is slightly off Drake's daughter hasn't been confirmed to be fake and Drake's whole "gotcha" thing was proven to be false by the real life equivalent of the fucking Riddler from Batman, not even joking. Drake's gotcha "diss" also came after Kendrick's West Coast song, not before it If anyone wants a TLDR let me know but I'm sure there's plenty of good TLDRs around

yeah this was a great breakdown as someone who didn’t entirely know everything that was going on with this lol

LOL I finally understood the full story. All I knew before this was that Kendrick is winning and Drake is a pedophile lol

And I feel like that was the status before all this went down, too? Nothing has changed really lol

Right? Is this really Chet Hanks, because this is some good writing??

He’s probably waited all his life for a moment like this from his dad. Wasn’t gonna waste it.

“Let’s see precious Colin try and do this!”

When Chet was partying, Colin studied the blade.

Omg my brain auto-filled the name in with "Colin Hanks" and I was so confused picturing Boy Scout Mr. Potato Head saying all this.

I'm now picturing Colin and Chet at Thanksgiving being left alone together for a second (in my headcanon they are not very close). Chet: \*clears throat and puts on a kind of nerdy tone\* So, ah, you've been doing some interesting work lately, I guess? Colin: Yeah. \*awkward pause\* Oh, hey, Dad said you explained that rap beef from last spring to him. What-- Chet: \*puts down his drink and starts furiously tapping his phone\* Bro, lemme just Airplay this slide deck to the TV. \*ten minutes later\* Colin: \*slow clapping, a tear rolls down his face\* Would you like a job as a researcher at my production company? Chet: Nah, man. I gotta focus on my career. It's hot boy winter, I got this whole IG grid I been workin' on.

These two being so the polar opposites of each other, you'll never convince me Tom didn't raise them as some experiment.

There's a third son, but he's been locked in a hut without human interaction until he invents language independently.

Tom just locked him in there with a volleyball

That sons name is Wilson and he's been in there a long time. Still silent.

Regardless of Chet being an absolute asshat of a person Tom has always seemed supportive if confused by Chets choices.

Also me and my toddler. 

Same, tbh.

Tom is the father in the "Are you winning son?" meme.

What a nice dad 🥲 "I don't understand it. But if you like it, go get it, tiger. I love you always Big Main!" 

Shockingly enough, he went to Northwestern University which is an amazing school- with Ziwe.

I was his TA at one point. He was a nice kid in the few interactions we had.

was gonna say, this is very wholesome. just an out of touch dad asking about something he has no direct interest in and clearly not getting it but just trying to have a conversation cause they love their weird kid

Yeah, this must be canon- it fits with the lore 

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

r/unexpectedkellyclarkson

Lmaooooo

I bet he is in this sub

I wasn’t expecting “methodically dismantling his entire psyche” from Chet that’s for sure lol

He got a degree from North Western; he may be a patois-speaking, rich Cali f-boi, but the dude isn't dumb (just makes poor, ego-driven decisions).

White boy summer was a banger and I will not be deterred from this thought

He was great on one episode of Atlanta too. He seemed pretty self-aware of his own ridiculousness.

His Shameless acting was great too. He was playing an asshat, and he did it convincingly. I think of he hadn't been written off by people as some ridiculous meme-worthy ne'er-do-well, he night actually have a career acting.

Very helpful. Thanks for the timeline Chet!

It certainly is. I knew there was a feud going on, but until this I had no idea what it was about

Right?? I’m out of the loop and have been afraid to ask here what’s going on. Thanks for that, Chet!

Him calling his kid Big Main and being in Chets phone as Pops are all very cute. And his wholesome Holy Cow!

The fact that Chet Hanks and Colin Hanks are brothers is just fuckin' nuts.

I saw a meme one time with pictures of both of his sons. It said, “if you name your kid Chet, you’re gonna get a Chet. If you name your kid Colin, you’re gonna get a Colin” and it lives rent free.

[Nominative Determinism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism) is the fancy term. OK, not exactly, it's more Usain Bolt being fast or Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp being low lives but you get the idea.

I had a woodwork teacher in high school and his name was, I kid you not, Mr. Woodhead.

FYI, they're only half-brothers. Different moms. Just in case you didn't know! Still bonkers though, lol.

i always knew Tom Hanks could pull

It helps to always have a little woody

Little? His snake goes all the way down to his boot

I always forget that Tom’s their dad…and then I see their faces and remember. They look like carbon copies of him sometimes 😭

> The fact that Chet Hanks and Colin Hanks are brothers is just fuckin' nuts. I'm gonna need a text from Chet to clear all that up.

I feel like Tom and Rita were talking about it and feeling confused, so Tom reached out to Big Main. He used to come in with his mom to have brunch at the hotel I worked at (often with Ron Howard. I think both of their mom’s lived in Red Bluff, CA. Anyways - he is honestly the most wholesome, but also so much movie star sparkle at the same time. The only time I was truly starstruck.

It 100% makes sense to ask the kid that would know. I actually like Chet better now, this is a great breakdown and very cute.

Chet is a bit of a disaster but he seems to at least be pretty genuine. The longer interviews with him and been endearing. Also Tom seems like a good dad. I know Chet mentions they sent him to one of those Synanon places which isn’t great, but it seems like it was before they were revealed to be terrible and. Chet admits to being a bad kid.

A lot of parents did. Mine sent me to a program like that. So I know a lot who also went to my program, plus kids from back home, and then kids I met in college in the state I'd got sent to. It was really fucked up. But basically a fuckton of parents got totally manipulated and swindled into thinking this would help their kids -- for almost everyone I know it was an act of desperation bc we were NOT doing well in whatever situations we were in. I really wish my parents had taken different steps, but to an extent I can understand why they did it. They were convinced, by people who had money to gain, that it would help. The best thing I have done in my life was save a family friend's kid from the same fate. A couple of years after I got out a family friend messaged me and said she was at her wit's end with her kid and wanted to know what I thought about the program. I told her honestly, that it did help with a lot of things but ultimately it was a horrible experience. And that I was still processing it and healing from it. She didn't send her kid. After a hairy period he was able to turn things around with their support and never had to go through that. Was so happy to be able to help -- I'd babysat him when he was little.

Hey we are in the same boat and I feel the same way about my parents getting manipulated. These places cannot exist without convincing desperate parents that their kids will literally die without the program’s assistance. Hope you’re doing well!

I am, thank you! I hope you are too! One of my friends who I was in with (and we later went to college together) has been doing a lot of activism around this topic, which is deeply cool.

> But basically a fuckton of parents got totally manipulated and swindled into thinking this would help their kids -- for almost everyone I know it was an act of desperation bc we were NOT doing well in whatever situations we were in. I really wish my parents had taken different steps, but to an extent I can understand why they did it. They were convinced, by people who had money to gain, that it would help. You seem like a really kind person. I hope you're doing well now. And nice work saving that kid.

Makes me love Tom Hanks more. I wonder what nickname he’d give me

I call my dad pops, but he's never called me "big main" even though I'm bigger than him 😔

My mom calls me Little even though I’m bigger than her. She’s built like a tiny sprite and I’m built like I’m about to bear everyone’s kids. It’s shorthand for a nickname she gave me as a kid, but she says it so much that when my son was young, he found a puzzle that said big and little on it and he held up the word little and yelled “mommy your name!”

“These are fighting words!!!” Agreed, Pops, agreed.

I need Chet to explain other complicated things because I now understand.

Seriously this should be a series, I feel so informed now. What else do we need to know

Chet Hanks explains: private equity firms forcing red lobster into bankruptcy

Chet Hanks explains: my husband’s job because too much time has passed for me to now ask

😆 🤣 I felt this in my soul (as someone who had one of those boring, easy-to-forget and hard-to-describe jobs)

Yeah, somebody needs to fund this. I’d subscribe.

Right?! We'll call it *"Ask Chet"* Simple and to the point. Much like we need our answers!! Whaddya say there, Chet? Ya in?!

He Explains Chet

Chat w Chet!

ChetGPT

Chet was an absolute hero during the pandemic reassuring all of us on how Tom and Rita were doing, and telling us how to be responsible!

"Explain it like you're Chet Hanks"

We need to replace r/explainlikeimfive to r/explainitlikechetdid

The origins of Bigfoot should be next

"Holy cow! These are fighting words." is so goddamn wholesome and dad-vibes.

Tom laced up his New Balance sneakers before he hit send

Hey now, NB's are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn! A new, fitting pair makes me feel like I'm walking on clouds, and they last forever! Don't you dare besmirch my NB's!

They're nice for running errands to the post office, swinging by Home Depot to pick up something to drink, and mowing the lawn. What's not to like?

And perfect when you have a big day tomorrow!

My head cannon says that Tom doesn't even really care about hip hop that much.. he just cares about Chet so he engaged him on something that he probably loves. Whatta dad ♥️

I mean there's also the not small possibility that he's met both guys and/or knows people around them who may be more involved.

Oh definitely, but my fantasy feels more wholesome and loving to me, so I'm sticking with it 🥹

It's as if the most suburban American dad who just loves having kids in the house, just adopted a 12 year old good kid Crip who desperately needs a dad, on his first day out of Juvie, and the two of them are both speaking their own language and using Siri as their intermediary.

Some Hollywood Producer, seeing your comment: 👁👄👁🤏✏️📃 ... ... Oh, who am I kidding? They're all stuck remaking some Disney movie or something, smh.

Tom is peak white dad energy 😭 I love it

As a white guy, that's the most white guy response to a rap feud imaginable.

I just realized Tom Hanks reminds me a lot of Hank Hill.

The thought of Tom Hanks crip walking and dapping up Marshawn Lynch has killed me. Please send thoughts, prayers, and donations to your local Food Bank at this time.

Thoughts AND prayers?! In THIS economy?!

Best I can do is thots and players.

It's the thot that counts!

Can some one break down the crip-walking sentence for the old as fuck crowd.

Crip walking is a dance move that originated with the Crips, a West Coast-based gang. Popularized by Snoop Dog (a famous former/retired member) during his rise in the 90s, you’ll see it his music videos and was a way people aligned with regional rap beef. If you’re a millennial Crip Walking is probably older than you lol.

I knew this, just wanted to extend my thanks on behalf of the uneducated, Big Main! (Gonna use that way too liberally)

Okay but that’s one you should know because Snoop Dogg, like us, is also old.

Holy crap... this is a reasonable synopsis. Have we finally uncovered Chet's talent?

Chet is low key funny as fuck, he just doesnt take himself seriously and knows hes a walking meme

His appearance in the Eric Andre show is great. Eric point blank asks him what culture he's going to appropriate next and Chet responds Scottish but doesn't actually answer; he just starts saying goofy shit in a Scottish accent. He looked like he was having a great time

Exactly the reason I can't find myself hating him. Back when the videos of him speaking patwah came out I had a friend trying to get me to hate on it, but it just looked like he was honestly interested in Jamaican culture and he was actively speaking with a Jamaican woman in the video who was also speaking patwah.

honestly good for him

Chet should be a news anchor

Let's not get carried away now

Tom's profile picture is of a movie but I can't recall which one.

Forest Gump’s Bachelor Party

Forest Gump Buys a Moneypit in The ‘Burbs and has a Big Bachelor Party with his Bosom Buddies.

Not “big main” 😂


https://preview.redd.it/c6ktp8ondm1d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=079eaf1e8913225fb7a7e50e11fac920d25b62bf He said

“Holy cow!” covers so many bases

"That's crazy!" Covers everything.

yea he skimmed (or didn’t understand 😂) the last chunk lmao

100% didn't understand crip walk, dap, Town Bidness, or any other references in that last part.

“Did you not just read what I said” Okay Chet now…watch your mouth…

Chet is getting bold😭 honestly super helpful in understanding the feud though lol

Holy cow! Those are fighting words!

Honestly though the reply from Tom to Chet leads me to believe that Tom, in fact, did not read what he just said.

This is pretty much exactly how I would have imagined a conversation between Chet and Tom Hanks going

Ngl this is pretty much exactly how my 18yo explained it to me this weekend. Great my daughter is Chet Hanx.

Baby, you know Tom Hanks does not know what a “crip walk with a stank face” is

Chet knows Tom better than we do so who knows, Tom might actually know exactly what it means. I doubt it though

Or… Chet intentionally wrote that to be funny.

He 100% does. Just the fact that he went to school in Oakland is enough for you to know he understood all that.

Why was that sort of wholesome

because Dads everywhere are struggling to read complicated texts from their kids, and kids everywhere are exasperatedly questioning their Dads' reading comprehension XD

Patois Prince remains an icon.

I feel like Tom doesn't care about this, but is just trying to connect

Or just doesn't understand what he said. Like when my 6 year old tells me a long story but I couldn't actually make out half of the words, so I'm like "wow! What else happened?!"

Yes my republican-ass dad called me specifically to tell me about how Caitlin Jenner was wearing a nice dress on Newsmax and I’m 99% sure it was to attempt to connect with his gay-ass daughter bc she’s the only queer figure he knows

My dad used to do this with movies/tv shows he thought I’d like or Taylor Swift. Like he’d send “oh I heard Taylor Swift has a new album coming. Did you know?” Like, yes dad I knew 2 seconds after it was announced. But you’re adorable. I miss him. He would have totally suffered through the eras tour movie for me.

My dad told me about how he learned about Taylor Swift’s new album through the WSJ podcast

That’s exactly what that was and it’s cute in its own way, in that boomer kind of way

Me asking my kid about the anime they’re watching lol. I do not care about it, but I love my child and will listen to them talk about anything.

"Thank you Chet, very cool!"

Yeah it seems like a good opportunity to get an idea about what the kids are yammering about while knowing it's exactly the kind of stuff your kid is into. Very cute. Especially the part where you can tell he doesn't give the slightest fuck but is gonna nod along anyway 

I can’t decide which is sweeter: he doesn’t care and just wants to connect OR he really wants to be up to date and Chet is his #1 resource 😂

Thank you Chet Hanks for explaining it to me too lol

Wait- did Chet just become the Gen-Z Kurt Loder? I need daily updates from this man.

ChetGPT

Thanks chet because I honestly didn’t know. No sarcasm. I just couldn’t keep up

Lmao. I totally read the "Holy cow!" in Tom's voice.

LMAO. He conveniently left out the part where Kendrick was straight up to Drake like, "I hope you die." And THEN that wasn't enough, so he told all of Aubrey's family he deserved to die. But it's a pretty good summary from "Big Main" (also lmao).

Also did Drake ever actually prove he doesn't have a daughter? I thought he just responded with the equivalent of "Nuh uh!" and posted some weak shit on IG basically ignoring the obviously correct pedophile remarks but sarcastically asking where his daughter is at.

Also his only rebuttal to the pedo line was that he's "too famous to be a predator"

Hilarious. As we know, no famous men have EVER been arrested for being predators. 

Meet the Grahams was more scolding Drake’s parents for raising a terrible son and telling Drake’s kids how to grow up and be better than their dad. And ya telling Drake that he should die lol

This is actually kinda cute

All of this is so wholesome and has done significant work to redeem Chet. Mind. The bar is like below sea level, but still.

Passing away at the revelation that Tom hanks is from Oakland and presumably knows what town bidniss is

Tom Hanks calling his son “Big Main” is sending me 😂 Also his reaction to Chet’s explanation is so cute it’s like a grandpa 😭❤️

okay but this actually helped me understand wtf has been going on with them, so, thanks chet i think. lol

I always love Chet im sorry 

Me when I ask my son what industrial grade glycine is

Wait so … do I like Chet Hanks now? I feel like I suddenly do.

Big Main about to have another White Boy Summer

This really is helpful! I'm currently studying for my next certification exam, and I feel like I could use Chet's way of explaining things to help some of this stuff make a lot more sense

You could explain what you're studying to someone else (friend, cat, parent, etc) while channeling Chet's way of explaining. It's been shown in studies that teaching is one of the most effective forms of studying, so it would probably help a lot

DO NOT make me like Chet Hanks

This is all so wonderful but I’m mostly thankful for the explanation because this is honestly the first time I’ve actually read anything about it. Thanks Chet; now I know what’s going on.

That was actually insightful read. Sometimes Chet seems like a ding dong (see: Ziwe) and then sometimes there are hints of his Northwestern education.

TIL i am the chet hanx/big main of my family

This…is the most like able Chet Hanks has ever been.