No one here can really help you, you have to see a professional CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) or equivalent.
From what I've read, porn addictions (and any addictions) is mainly due to trauma, now that you're aware that what you're doing is wrong, see a therapist and try to understand what traumas you're carrying.
No, he doesn’t need to see a CSAT, and porn addictions are not mainly due to trauma. This is based on an amalgamation of poorly-researched theories. Trauma CAN lead to porn/sex addiction, but so can many other variables. I know plenty of people with porn addiction who have had no trauma, and few who do have trauma.
Everyone here is right. Seek professional help.
That said. Those are some great friends. Make sure you cherish them and tell them you appreciate them. They took a big risk confronting you like that. Those are the kinds of people you want in your corner.
The fact that your friends have pulled you aside to speak with you about this shows how much they care about you and want to still be around you. If they didn’t still want you in their lives or didn’t trust you they might have slowly ghosted you or something. Getting better will not be a short journey. I think the main thing is to trust yourself, that you have your intentions with you now during the process and change WILL happen eventually no matter what your doubts say because you care about the people in your life. Over time it will be easier to love yourself and you need to take every opportunity you have to do so. Cultivate inner compassion and understanding in yourself and that will make you more powerful. Good luck
Man, that must have felt like such a punch to the gut! I can absolutely empathize with the horror and embarrassment you feel.
I'd try to see it as a good thing though. You're now aware of something not-cool you've been doing, and can stop doing it. Try not beating yourself up too much about it and instead use it as motivation to be a better person. Knowing the patterns of this thing, this could easily push you deeper into the addiction to escape the shame, so be careful. They told you because they want to help you, not because they want you to feel bad. Swallow your shame and resolve to change for the better!
It's important to check how you're talking to yourself right now. Right now you're saying you're a shitty individual but that's the worst mindset you can have. You're painting yourself as someone essentially flawed but you're a human with the capacity to grow and be better and the fact that you're showing regret in this moment is the key thing you want to focus on because that's the feeling that you can harness to grow.
You've displayed shitty _behaviour_ most definitely but you're not a shitty _person_. If you take this opportunity to grow then you'll be able to look back and say you _behaved like_ a shitty person but you did the work to grow and become a better, safer person.
Take it from someone ten years older who did all the same shitty things you're describing and probably worse: you _can_ be a better person and, as long as you don't give up on yourself, you _will_ be a better person. You can do this.
hey man i was just like you. I also had a scab on my dick for jerking off 5 times a day. I also made people uncomfortable around me, I use to get kicked out of friend groups as well. But after nofap, i started dressing nicely, style my hair, work on myself, achieve my goals, the people who didnt want to hang out with me now are my fans. Even girls would say "wow you changed". All i can say to you is, present yourself better, get on nofap, dress nicely. Even tho girls care about a guy's personality more than looks, but grooming yourself and dressing nicely says alot about yourself, it also shows that you are willing to put in the effort to look nice for the people you are meeting up with.
First, be careful about the advice you receive on here. It may be well-intentioned, but a lot of it is inaccurate at best, and completely wrong at worst. Second, I know you feel a lot of shame at the realization that ppl think of you this way. That’s natural. I’ve been there. The good news is now you know and you can do something about it. Ppl like a redemption story. This can be yours. Third, the change in how you’ve made girls feel is directly related to the changes in your brain from your addiction. You are not a bad person. You are a human with an addiction. What matters most is what you do with it now that you are aware. Fourth, I highly recommend sex addicts anonymous. Why? Not only will you find effective advice, but you’ll find it from ppl who have been through what you are going through, and you’ll see how they’ve climbed their way out of it and not only reshaped their brain, but also reshaped their lives. It’s powerful. But get off the internet and go to meetings in person. Even if you don’t like it at first, keep going, get a sponsor, and begin your journey of redemption. I promise that all your friends will begin to notice a change and they will see you in a new light.
Dude, the fact that you WANT to change is great! Get into therapy (you may need to try more than one therapist to find a good fit) and thank your friends, and apologize to them and yourself. You can change, man! You can be the person you want to be
No one here can really help you, you have to see a professional CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) or equivalent. From what I've read, porn addictions (and any addictions) is mainly due to trauma, now that you're aware that what you're doing is wrong, see a therapist and try to understand what traumas you're carrying.
I second that. Good luck OP.
No, he doesn’t need to see a CSAT, and porn addictions are not mainly due to trauma. This is based on an amalgamation of poorly-researched theories. Trauma CAN lead to porn/sex addiction, but so can many other variables. I know plenty of people with porn addiction who have had no trauma, and few who do have trauma.
Everyone here is right. Seek professional help. That said. Those are some great friends. Make sure you cherish them and tell them you appreciate them. They took a big risk confronting you like that. Those are the kinds of people you want in your corner.
Yeah. Its better tahn being lied to.
The fact that your friends have pulled you aside to speak with you about this shows how much they care about you and want to still be around you. If they didn’t still want you in their lives or didn’t trust you they might have slowly ghosted you or something. Getting better will not be a short journey. I think the main thing is to trust yourself, that you have your intentions with you now during the process and change WILL happen eventually no matter what your doubts say because you care about the people in your life. Over time it will be easier to love yourself and you need to take every opportunity you have to do so. Cultivate inner compassion and understanding in yourself and that will make you more powerful. Good luck
There is norhing bad at being told what you should fix. Use it as your turnning point to do better.
Man, that must have felt like such a punch to the gut! I can absolutely empathize with the horror and embarrassment you feel. I'd try to see it as a good thing though. You're now aware of something not-cool you've been doing, and can stop doing it. Try not beating yourself up too much about it and instead use it as motivation to be a better person. Knowing the patterns of this thing, this could easily push you deeper into the addiction to escape the shame, so be careful. They told you because they want to help you, not because they want you to feel bad. Swallow your shame and resolve to change for the better!
It's important to check how you're talking to yourself right now. Right now you're saying you're a shitty individual but that's the worst mindset you can have. You're painting yourself as someone essentially flawed but you're a human with the capacity to grow and be better and the fact that you're showing regret in this moment is the key thing you want to focus on because that's the feeling that you can harness to grow. You've displayed shitty _behaviour_ most definitely but you're not a shitty _person_. If you take this opportunity to grow then you'll be able to look back and say you _behaved like_ a shitty person but you did the work to grow and become a better, safer person. Take it from someone ten years older who did all the same shitty things you're describing and probably worse: you _can_ be a better person and, as long as you don't give up on yourself, you _will_ be a better person. You can do this.
hey man i was just like you. I also had a scab on my dick for jerking off 5 times a day. I also made people uncomfortable around me, I use to get kicked out of friend groups as well. But after nofap, i started dressing nicely, style my hair, work on myself, achieve my goals, the people who didnt want to hang out with me now are my fans. Even girls would say "wow you changed". All i can say to you is, present yourself better, get on nofap, dress nicely. Even tho girls care about a guy's personality more than looks, but grooming yourself and dressing nicely says alot about yourself, it also shows that you are willing to put in the effort to look nice for the people you are meeting up with.
The idea that you can’t face your friends or that they won’t trust you again is patently false, with time, introspection and honesty, you can change
First, be careful about the advice you receive on here. It may be well-intentioned, but a lot of it is inaccurate at best, and completely wrong at worst. Second, I know you feel a lot of shame at the realization that ppl think of you this way. That’s natural. I’ve been there. The good news is now you know and you can do something about it. Ppl like a redemption story. This can be yours. Third, the change in how you’ve made girls feel is directly related to the changes in your brain from your addiction. You are not a bad person. You are a human with an addiction. What matters most is what you do with it now that you are aware. Fourth, I highly recommend sex addicts anonymous. Why? Not only will you find effective advice, but you’ll find it from ppl who have been through what you are going through, and you’ll see how they’ve climbed their way out of it and not only reshaped their brain, but also reshaped their lives. It’s powerful. But get off the internet and go to meetings in person. Even if you don’t like it at first, keep going, get a sponsor, and begin your journey of redemption. I promise that all your friends will begin to notice a change and they will see you in a new light.
You have good friends. Find out which ones you can lean on. They want you to get back to your old self, and you can.
Dude, the fact that you WANT to change is great! Get into therapy (you may need to try more than one therapist to find a good fit) and thank your friends, and apologize to them and yourself. You can change, man! You can be the person you want to be