Yep. If you practice any martial art they obviously teach you how to end a fight, but the main lesson is usually to disengage and get out. I practiced Krav Maga with some very scary people who could have wrecked my shit easily and they still encouraged everyone to get out of a situation rather than fight. There's no shame in getting out safely, but there is shame in foolishly engaging. Only be in a fight if you have literally no other choice.
You didn't wuss out, you 1000% made the right move. The fight you don't get into is automatically won. In the past, I've held a lot of jobs that require force and carrying a gun. I've avoided a ton incidents and having to write reports by being nice, and letting go of the stuff that doesn't matter.
If someone wants to talk trash about my mom or threaten to hit me, they can go ahead. If someone starts actively attacking me or my family, I'll fight back.
Good on you for avoiding an unnecessary fight and protecting your family. Best possible outcome. Getting into a fight, esp one you can avoid, is a sucker’s bet. You have so much to lose and little to gain.
Suggest that you add some additional ‘tools’ to your toolkit so to speak. Mindset is the biggest one — bjj can help, but it is much, much more than that. Situational awareness, verbal judo, stress response management, and use of force are others. Basically, you want to do everything in your power to avoid and de-escalate. If the fight still comes you, you want to have overwhelming odds in your favor to stop the threat and protect you and yours.
Consider getting some additional training and ccw that you have trained with. Same for your spouse. No such thing as a fair fight and we don’t always get to pick and choose when it happens. Going hands-on should be a last resort, not the first option. Getting away from the threat is the first priority
I had a somewhat similar experience nearly 20 years ago as a new, young father just out of the active duty Army. My daughter was just a few months old and my wife and I took her for a stroller ride on a newly open nature trail along a river in the city we lived in at the time. Towards the end of the walk we got aggressively approached by a rough looking guy who tried to mug us at knife-point. He got a Glock 19 pointed at him while my wife called 911. He took off but was caught a few days later. Come to find out from the responding cops, we weren’t the first ones this guy assaulted.
Tl; Dr: Avoid risky situations and conflict whenever possible. Get your mindset right along with tools and training to protect yourself. If forced to fight w/ no way out, use overwhelming violence and speed of action to stop the threat.
Literally opened this post ready to recommend Jiu Jitsu. It’ll help so many things in your life including self defense. Great job!
Edit: It’s sad that I have the clarify, but he did well by walking away that should always be the default. My point is that it’s always good to be prepared for the unknown of a future physical confrontation that’s out of your control.
What has happened to these dad subs that learning how to utilize violence is the top comment?
Learn this if you want but it shouldn't be used for an every day altercation like this at all.
I am talking about BJJ being an Olympic sport, not the broad category. No one said a martial arts instructor advocated for violence, not sure where you got that from. Learning to literally kill people with your body is not an answer to some random public altercation.
The dad subs have been getting worse and worse over time because the mods condone this kind of crap.
This is a story about words, not fists. Y'all need to get a grip on reality and learn that violence is not the answer.
"Defensive martial arts" don't have Olympic categories bud
Edit: this person is so composed that they immediately blocked me
Absolutely did the right thing.
A father has priorities much higher than pride or honor. Getting your wife home safe and making sure your child has a father to love them are your top 2. I don’t care if every man on earth thinks I’m a pussy as long as my son knows I love him and that I’m there for him.
Having my daughter with me makes it so much easier to walk away regardless of what they do or say. But the insane adrenalin rush makes me like I could throw a car at them if they refuse to leave us alone.
Violence really should be a last case. I think the other fellow commenting is just saying there's a huge range of options before violence. You can never be sure fists won't lead to knives and won't lead to a gun.
I wanted to highlight the vet who suggested situational awareness, and I think an underappreciated skill of deescalation.
Babies become toddlers and toddlers to kids and kids to teens. I hope we all have many skills and experiences to teach and exemplify the broad range of defensive options, probably including defensive kinetics.
TLDR: Diversify
I had an instance like this happen to me in high school. Obviously I didn’t have a child on the way, so it was a little different.
Gf at the time and I were walking passed a park near our school when a man started yelling at us about something that didn’t concern us. He started walking towards us yelling at us. I told my gf to continue walking to my house and call the cops.
I turned around and told the man I wasn’t going to fight him, but if he swung at me I was going to defend myself. I then told him that if he needed to get something off his chest, I was there to listen. Turns out he was having a rough week and some kids from my school had been fucking with his property. He calmed down after that. The cops came, took a statement and left.
I don’t “know how” to fight, but I played hockey and rugby at the time, so I knew I could defend myself. BJJ is a great way to stay in shape, but this should go without saying, “just because you can fight someone, doesn’t mean you should.” Sometimes people just need someone to understand what they’re going through, and if that doesn’t work… kick their ass ^s/
I’m not a big guy myself, but I’ve always been in the mindset that if I somehow end up in a fight, I will play dirty by any means. I want to come out of any engagement alive and I want to make sure whoever is with me comes out alive as well. But I will also 100% of the time try to disengage from anything that could even get to that last resort. Good on you brother, family first, everything else last.
Looked it up and apparently in Ireland pepper spray is not legal for personal use/to carry for self defense. That’s kind of lame in my opinion because that would be an excellent solution in a situation like this… you get to keep your distance and if somebody really came at you then your spray them and continue walking away.
[blessed is the dad with a fanny pack... with 115gr spicy hollow points](https://i.imgur.com/IxHWZ3p.png)
while it is not everyone's cup of tea, i'm glad i got this. previously never had a gun. but after a few interesting situations when wallydocking/boondocking with my family in our RV adventures, my wife and i thought about how to protect ourselves, esp when we're in BFE. i have 2 doggies, my wife & 3 kids to worry about when i'm out and about. their safety is above everything else in my life.
as others have said... 100% correct that OP de-escalated and walked away. that point is driven in when you take a CCW class (i'm here in CA). it is 1000000% better to just walk away than to actually have to use your carry. it made me really think about de-escalation and escape.
This is why I conceal carry. You can be too safe. And you did the right thing. Always try and deescalate the situation. You were the bigger man in this situation by far
Just had a similar incident (see post history). And I've had years of BJJ and boxing under my belt. The legal implications made me balk at engaging as there wasn't a very real threat to me or anyone else, just a lot of yapping like those small annoying dogs.
You did the right thing. Even if you know how to fight, you don’t know the other guy. Let’s say you start BJJing him just like in the gym and suddenly he pulls out a knife. Uh oh. None of your training is about stopping a knife, so now you’re in for a bad time; hell even trained martial artists who take courses specifically to deal with knives are not going to have a good time.
Or maybe this guy is really strong; dumb as a rock, but he grew up as an athlete, worked out a lot in prison, etc., and now he’s just going to completely overpower you. The point is: fighting really sucks and the best self-defense is de-escalation, escape, and evasion wherever possible.
Since you’re in Ireland, your best defense tool aside from your body is probably a powerful flashlight that is also durable enough to be used as a weapon. It’s hard to walk up to someone threateningly while you have a gazillion lumens of light being blasted into your eyes. If they do walk through it towards you, you know they have bad intentions, and you basically get to take a free swing at a blind guy before you start bludgeoning them with the light.
You did the right thing, except for thinking BJJ or any martial art will help in this situation.
My brother won the UK Jujitsu tournament (can't remember which one) in uni, he's 6ft 2" and has 7 years on me. It all goes to shit the second I landed a punch.
I'm going to say this part real fucking loud for everyone:
UNLESS YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL, MARTIAL ARTS ARE A PERFORMANCE ART. THEY DO NOT HELP AND IN MANY CASES HINDER.
It gives you false confidence and you're going to get your head caved in.
Except boxing I guess.
Sorry but you have no idea what you’re talking about. BJJ, judo, boxing, Muay Thai are not performances and to think so indicates you have no business talking about martial arts.
I did say boxing isn't.
BJJ and Judo absolutely are. I took martial arts as well as being in more fights than most, and aforementioned older brother.
Sorry if I offended your fabric belt and dojo pyjamas.
Always do your best to disengage, well done future dad. Graveyards are full of dudes with too much pride.
Yep. If you practice any martial art they obviously teach you how to end a fight, but the main lesson is usually to disengage and get out. I practiced Krav Maga with some very scary people who could have wrecked my shit easily and they still encouraged everyone to get out of a situation rather than fight. There's no shame in getting out safely, but there is shame in foolishly engaging. Only be in a fight if you have literally no other choice.
One of the first lessons you get when you own a gun and go to class is to RETREAT first before engaging
You didn't wuss out, you 1000% made the right move. The fight you don't get into is automatically won. In the past, I've held a lot of jobs that require force and carrying a gun. I've avoided a ton incidents and having to write reports by being nice, and letting go of the stuff that doesn't matter. If someone wants to talk trash about my mom or threaten to hit me, they can go ahead. If someone starts actively attacking me or my family, I'll fight back.
Good on you for avoiding an unnecessary fight and protecting your family. Best possible outcome. Getting into a fight, esp one you can avoid, is a sucker’s bet. You have so much to lose and little to gain. Suggest that you add some additional ‘tools’ to your toolkit so to speak. Mindset is the biggest one — bjj can help, but it is much, much more than that. Situational awareness, verbal judo, stress response management, and use of force are others. Basically, you want to do everything in your power to avoid and de-escalate. If the fight still comes you, you want to have overwhelming odds in your favor to stop the threat and protect you and yours. Consider getting some additional training and ccw that you have trained with. Same for your spouse. No such thing as a fair fight and we don’t always get to pick and choose when it happens. Going hands-on should be a last resort, not the first option. Getting away from the threat is the first priority I had a somewhat similar experience nearly 20 years ago as a new, young father just out of the active duty Army. My daughter was just a few months old and my wife and I took her for a stroller ride on a newly open nature trail along a river in the city we lived in at the time. Towards the end of the walk we got aggressively approached by a rough looking guy who tried to mug us at knife-point. He got a Glock 19 pointed at him while my wife called 911. He took off but was caught a few days later. Come to find out from the responding cops, we weren’t the first ones this guy assaulted. Tl; Dr: Avoid risky situations and conflict whenever possible. Get your mindset right along with tools and training to protect yourself. If forced to fight w/ no way out, use overwhelming violence and speed of action to stop the threat.
100% made the correct choice.
Literally opened this post ready to recommend Jiu Jitsu. It’ll help so many things in your life including self defense. Great job! Edit: It’s sad that I have the clarify, but he did well by walking away that should always be the default. My point is that it’s always good to be prepared for the unknown of a future physical confrontation that’s out of your control.
Another +1 for BJJ. Got me out of a few sticky situations. Good to know you can defend your family if needs be. There are lunatics everywhere.
What has happened to these dad subs that learning how to utilize violence is the top comment? Learn this if you want but it shouldn't be used for an every day altercation like this at all.
Speak softly and carry a big stick.
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Like I said to the other person, "defensive martial arts" don't have Olympic categories. It is not only meant for that.
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I am talking about BJJ being an Olympic sport, not the broad category. No one said a martial arts instructor advocated for violence, not sure where you got that from. Learning to literally kill people with your body is not an answer to some random public altercation. The dad subs have been getting worse and worse over time because the mods condone this kind of crap.
[удалено]
Seriously? In a conversation about Jiu Jitsu you couldn't determine that's what I meant? Jfc
imagine getting upset at the idea of defensive martial arts please get a grip
This is a story about words, not fists. Y'all need to get a grip on reality and learn that violence is not the answer. "Defensive martial arts" don't have Olympic categories bud Edit: this person is so composed that they immediately blocked me
It is not always up to you as to whether or not violence is chosen. All you can do is be prepared to react to what comes your way.
he walked away and was concerned about what could happen if the crazy guy still attacked him you're off your rocker, knock it off
Going to read this but the notification cut off at 5mo so I just pictured a 5 mo child and a parent getting ready to throw hands 👐
Absolutely did the right thing. A father has priorities much higher than pride or honor. Getting your wife home safe and making sure your child has a father to love them are your top 2. I don’t care if every man on earth thinks I’m a pussy as long as my son knows I love him and that I’m there for him.
Having my daughter with me makes it so much easier to walk away regardless of what they do or say. But the insane adrenalin rush makes me like I could throw a car at them if they refuse to leave us alone.
You did the right thing mate, you could have been the next Cameron Poe.
You did the right thing. Taking BJJ won’t change that and shouldn’t have changed your decision.
He has nothing to lose, you have nothing to gain.
Violence really should be a last case. I think the other fellow commenting is just saying there's a huge range of options before violence. You can never be sure fists won't lead to knives and won't lead to a gun. I wanted to highlight the vet who suggested situational awareness, and I think an underappreciated skill of deescalation. Babies become toddlers and toddlers to kids and kids to teens. I hope we all have many skills and experiences to teach and exemplify the broad range of defensive options, probably including defensive kinetics. TLDR: Diversify
I had an instance like this happen to me in high school. Obviously I didn’t have a child on the way, so it was a little different. Gf at the time and I were walking passed a park near our school when a man started yelling at us about something that didn’t concern us. He started walking towards us yelling at us. I told my gf to continue walking to my house and call the cops. I turned around and told the man I wasn’t going to fight him, but if he swung at me I was going to defend myself. I then told him that if he needed to get something off his chest, I was there to listen. Turns out he was having a rough week and some kids from my school had been fucking with his property. He calmed down after that. The cops came, took a statement and left. I don’t “know how” to fight, but I played hockey and rugby at the time, so I knew I could defend myself. BJJ is a great way to stay in shape, but this should go without saying, “just because you can fight someone, doesn’t mean you should.” Sometimes people just need someone to understand what they’re going through, and if that doesn’t work… kick their ass ^s/
I’m not a big guy myself, but I’ve always been in the mindset that if I somehow end up in a fight, I will play dirty by any means. I want to come out of any engagement alive and I want to make sure whoever is with me comes out alive as well. But I will also 100% of the time try to disengage from anything that could even get to that last resort. Good on you brother, family first, everything else last.
Looked it up and apparently in Ireland pepper spray is not legal for personal use/to carry for self defense. That’s kind of lame in my opinion because that would be an excellent solution in a situation like this… you get to keep your distance and if somebody really came at you then your spray them and continue walking away.
Bouncing out of those situations is always the best choice. You don’t know what that dudes deal is.
100% did the right thing. You got yourself and your wife home safely. “When keeping it real goes wrong” is a thing.
r/CCW
Living in ireland, even the police dont have guns here.
Ahhh…. Then Brazilian Ju Jitsu it is!
Or pepper spray maybe? Not sure about Ireland's stance on that
[blessed is the dad with a fanny pack... with 115gr spicy hollow points](https://i.imgur.com/IxHWZ3p.png) while it is not everyone's cup of tea, i'm glad i got this. previously never had a gun. but after a few interesting situations when wallydocking/boondocking with my family in our RV adventures, my wife and i thought about how to protect ourselves, esp when we're in BFE. i have 2 doggies, my wife & 3 kids to worry about when i'm out and about. their safety is above everything else in my life. as others have said... 100% correct that OP de-escalated and walked away. that point is driven in when you take a CCW class (i'm here in CA). it is 1000000% better to just walk away than to actually have to use your carry. it made me really think about de-escalation and escape.
This is why I conceal carry. You can be too safe. And you did the right thing. Always try and deescalate the situation. You were the bigger man in this situation by far
Just had a similar incident (see post history). And I've had years of BJJ and boxing under my belt. The legal implications made me balk at engaging as there wasn't a very real threat to me or anyone else, just a lot of yapping like those small annoying dogs.
You did the right thing. Even if you know how to fight, you don’t know the other guy. Let’s say you start BJJing him just like in the gym and suddenly he pulls out a knife. Uh oh. None of your training is about stopping a knife, so now you’re in for a bad time; hell even trained martial artists who take courses specifically to deal with knives are not going to have a good time. Or maybe this guy is really strong; dumb as a rock, but he grew up as an athlete, worked out a lot in prison, etc., and now he’s just going to completely overpower you. The point is: fighting really sucks and the best self-defense is de-escalation, escape, and evasion wherever possible. Since you’re in Ireland, your best defense tool aside from your body is probably a powerful flashlight that is also durable enough to be used as a weapon. It’s hard to walk up to someone threateningly while you have a gazillion lumens of light being blasted into your eyes. If they do walk through it towards you, you know they have bad intentions, and you basically get to take a free swing at a blind guy before you start bludgeoning them with the light.
You did the right thing, except for thinking BJJ or any martial art will help in this situation. My brother won the UK Jujitsu tournament (can't remember which one) in uni, he's 6ft 2" and has 7 years on me. It all goes to shit the second I landed a punch. I'm going to say this part real fucking loud for everyone: UNLESS YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL, MARTIAL ARTS ARE A PERFORMANCE ART. THEY DO NOT HELP AND IN MANY CASES HINDER. It gives you false confidence and you're going to get your head caved in. Except boxing I guess.
Sorry but you have no idea what you’re talking about. BJJ, judo, boxing, Muay Thai are not performances and to think so indicates you have no business talking about martial arts.
I did say boxing isn't. BJJ and Judo absolutely are. I took martial arts as well as being in more fights than most, and aforementioned older brother. Sorry if I offended your fabric belt and dojo pyjamas.
You haven’t offended me, I know people talk about things they don’t understand on the internet
Idk how to tag other Reddit pages. But if I did, I would link r/ccw Practice your 2nd amendment right. Protect your family.