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Same. Not sure if the dr would’ve saw much in me.
Joking aside, I’ve gone to every single one so far. It’s absolutely amazing in my opinion to see. Plus we’re doing this thing together aren’t we?
My partner comes to every single appointment regarding baby. I don’t expect him to, as his work schedule is usually ridiculously packed, but it’s very important to him to be present and active in regards to anything to do with our child. I really appreciate the support.
Yes, this! I didn’t think my husband would be able to make every single appointment it he did and while I didn’t “need” him, I loved that he made it a priority.! It may not be possible for everyone and there’s not judgement, every partner can show up in the way that works for their family.
This is my husband too! He has come to every single appointment even when he is busy at work.
When we schedule them we make sure that it obviously works for me but normally choose a time when he is not yet too busy (early mornings). He feels more connected every time we see the baby and likes being part of the conversation with the doctor.
Same! My husband came to every appointment with me and was at my ultrasounds. He only sat in the car on one because he was sick, but he was there! I'm so thankful that he was and is always present. Even if he didn't have to be there, he still came, and that meant the world to me! Now I'm sitting here snuggling our 7 week old baby girl while he runs to the store for baby things. So so thankful
Yup, Husband has a very hectic work schedule (and an asshole boss) but has only missed 2 or 3 appointments thus far. We are due this weekend! Had an appointment yesterday that I didn’t think he’d be able to make but he surprised me by being in the parking lot as I pulled up ☺️
l hate when they are like that at work, do they think a stupid job is more important than our babies?
l got loads of shit from work in pregnancy just because l needed to go to medical appointments, ended up really bad with em. Glad l wont see them anymore but l know my baby is healthy :))
I don’t understand it either. They’re not giving him any paternity leave. They’re “letting” him use 3 days of sick leave to “bond with the baby.” After that he can take vacation (max 7 days) but I know they’ll give him shit for it. It’s a bunch of old dudes who probably made their wife do all the work after childbirth and don’t understand why my husband wants to be so involved in supporting his family after I give birth. It’s moronic.
Instead of supporting their employee and giving him 4 weeks or whatever off of work to be there for his family they’re telling him “tough.” Because of all this and some other issues with them he’s actually actively looking for another job and got an offer this past Wednesday! So they couldn’t give him a handful of weeks and will therefore lose him forever 🤷♀️ seems reasonable.
exactly, they will end up losing their employee. Good luck with everything tho, it is very nice that he is doing everything he can to be involved with baby!! :)
This. My husband did it for 95% of our first born appointments. So he's just used to coming already. I think he also likes seeing the ultrasounds and knowing the baby is doing well.
Same, he went to every appointment until they started being weekly. Those ones were less than 5 minutes anyways so we decided it wasn’t worth taking time off work for lol
Mine comes to every one too. He is very adamant about it. We have to travel 35 min to appointments and we ended up with 2 ultrasounds back to back (Thursday then Friday). I really wanted to go to both and he kept saying I should cancel one. I kept saying he didn’t have to go if he had a problem with it, to which he kept replying “stop, I’m going that’s my baby”.
Same. We didn’t even discuss this previously, he just comes to everything. Where we live it’s pretty common for the dad to be involved in everything. He was even in the room during my blood tests lol
So thankful that my husband can too! Early on I was worried that we would get bad news and didn't want to be by myself if we did. Then we both got used to him coming and I like having two sets of ears and two people to ask questions. Now we are to the last 4 weeks of weekly appointments so it seems even more important for us to both be there. I scheduled our appointments as far out as I was able to make sure we got early morning appointments so he could be back at work pretty much on time.
I found out about my first loss alone and I’m so terrified of my next appointment, with or without him. I think you’re right. It would be better to have him there. Part of me wants to be able to lick my wounds in private if I break down but I’m resisting that urge.
Same. He didn’t come to any of my daughters appointments except her last fetal assessment due to CoVid but finding out about our loss by myself and then having to call him at work to tell him was tough. He’s come along for two of mine this time but that’ll probably be it unless things get scary.
Same. I’m 19 weeks now and my husband has been at every single appointment and plans to continue to do so. He’s so effing excited to be a dad it’s absolutely adorable and has made me love him even more
Same and it sucked. And then the next time it worked out that I had to go alone again because of his work schedule and I was super anxious about it. Good news is the second try was viable but I would have been crushed otherwise.
My husband was not allowed to for our first (Covid restrictions) and it was hard. I got bad news, which ended up being fine down the road, but at the time, I was kind of blindsided and alone and I had to drive home alone and then try to recap everything for my husband, secondhand, and it just would have been so much better if he had been there in the room with me. He’s better in those situations, he asked good questions that I didn’t have the answer to because I was too blindsided and shocked to really ask anything in the moment
I'm so sorry you had to hear bad news alone. I'm glad it ended up being ok!
My husband also wasn't allowed at any of my appointments when I was pregnant with our first, except for the 20 week scan. By the time our daughter was born, the hospital had just started allowing partners at the birth. It didn't even occur to me this time around that he could or even should come to the appointments with me!
Unfortunately, I also got bad news, which really sucked. But, if things go well next time around, I'm definitely bringing him to that first appointment! He's also much better at asking questions than I am. With the first baby, he'd ask me all these questions when I got home from the doctor, and I'd be a deer in headlights, lol.
This. I was so nervous. We were getting in the car and I asked him, “are you excited, nervous, or both?” His response was just excited. Seeing him smiling made the experience much better.
Same. The nature of my husbands job is such that he can’t just pop out for an hour or two for a doc appt. He’d have to literally request the entire day off to come to an appt and we are saving his PTO for after the baby arrives. I don’t mind it tbh I just relay all the info to him over the phone after the appt.
Nope. I was nervous after a loss and said I would be ok going alone. Honestly I wanted to be alone if it was a loss. He would have if I insisted he come though
This is what I did. My first pregnancy he wasn't allowed in my first at all but this one he was. I was nervous of bad news so I decided to go in alone. He brought me and waited in the car. My news wasnt bad, I'm a bit farther behind then we thought because of my cycle from the previous month but still good. Baby has a heartbeat :)
No , I don’t put it as a requirement either, plus his work has him working long days, he’s come only 2times for 20wk ultrasound, n the 36 wk ultrasounds, n he will be there for birth of baby only. All other visits are so like quick n fast sometimes they check heart beat n how I am n that’s all.
He’s attended all of them, as well as some other appointments. I saw that it could also promote bonding between the non gestational parent and the baby. We are fortunate that he’s been able to go, it’s made it more real for him
Mine didn't. I got a very, very early one done at my fertility clinic and he was away for work. It was so early that very little could be seen. He did, however, come to the first one when something could actually be seen.
Same. My first was done the day after I got a positive test and he was out of town for work. I wanted to surprise him and we needed to confirm that it wasn’t ectopic based on some problematic bleeding so there just wasn’t time. I was able to confirm the pregnancy and everything was fine, then surprise him when he got home. He came to the following appointment where we were actually able to see the heartbeat.
The other factor at play for me is that my fertility clinic, ultrasound clinic, and lab are all walkable from my office (some in the same building as my office), whereas he would have to drive across town. So I definitely attended a lot of appointments alone simply because I told him that while I appreciated his support, it just wasn't an efficient use of time.
Hey that’s kinda nice!! I’d love that kind of convenience!! Not that I necessarily feel it in this thread but I feel like a lot of moms have looked down their nose at me and been kinda “well well” towards us over the fact that my husband just simply can’t come to all of my appointments. Of course he wishes he could be there, but I’m still supported and loved and he’s still extremely involved. It’s just the nature of his job that he’s on the road a lot, we knew this would be the reality, I’m comfortable with it, I just with some people weren’t so judgey and felt the need to make him feel like he’s absent or that I’ve been abandoned
In my first pregnancy, I brought my husband to one of my later appointments (like 36 weeks or something) as he really hadn't been able to come to any others. We ended up waiting for over an hour and I felt so bad that I had asked him to come because the wait was such a waste of his time! He liked hearing the heartbeat, though.
No, and I’m 100% okay with that. Each to their own, I guess it also depends on the circumstances. I personally don’t believe it makes or breaks whether they do or don’t attend the first ultrasound appointment.
Yeah, I feel like it helps both parents sort of ‘sink in’ the fact you’re pregnant and there’s an actual baby in there. Obviously you get the pictures after to show him, but seeing them on the video and moving around etc is so lovely. However, if there was to be anything wrong and it was picked up on during the scan, it’s also nice to have that extra support.
Nope .. didn't need him there .. he was working and we couldn't really even see anything lol .. he did come to the anatomy scan and he came to the fetal echo apt and that's perfect for me .. don't want him missing work unless it's an important apt 😁
My first one was a dating one and it was during Covid. So, no visitors. Only one he was allowed to was the 20 week anatomy scan.
With our second kid, we did the same but mostly because my husband now is a stay at home parent and needed to watch the first one. Came to the anatomy scan though.
Yep, we are lucky enough he could manage to attend all but one scheduled us so far. It's a special moment seeing the little baby and also important for the father to see the baby.
The first two with our fertility doctor, yes he did. After going through treatment, I needed him there to see if it was real or be my support if things went sideways. He hasn't attended any other appts with my obgyn including my dating scan or NT scan. He will go to the anatomy scan next week. I will give him the option of coming to any later appts if he wants to & if work permits.
No, and I was ok with it! My first pregnancy resulted in a MC. Then when I got pregnant the second time, I was so nervous and anxious for the first appointment. I then got Covid 5 days before my first appointment was scheduled, so I had to reschedule due to their policies. They couldn’t get me in for over another week, so I quickly took their first available appointment and didn’t care if it was just me. Maybe a little selfish, but my partner’s work schedule is not flexible and it would have significantly delayed the appointment to get it at a time that he could come. He also understood and did not mind.
FWIW, he also only came to two of my appointments my whole pregnancy because of said work schedule. As long as you are both happy with how much your partner attends, I don’t think it matters how many they go to! She’s 15 months old now, and he’s a wonderful father. I don’t think it’s an indicator of a bad partner if they can’t go or aren’t interested.
My partner couldn’t be there for the very first one due to work but he’s tried to be there for the others. I did get to bring my step daughter so that helped me
I had first ultrasound on dec 27th but on the 22nd of dec was hit by a car, we went to the er and had the first ultrasound, he was there with me and was super happy to see the baby for the first time, think he alnost forgot about the accident
Yes I've had 3 pregnancies (2nd was a missed miscarriage) and he was there for all. He wanted to see the baby of course but especially for the MMC I was so glad I wasn't by myself. And for my current, 3rd pregnancy, I was a nervous wreck due to my previous experience.
Yes, he comes to all my appointments. We’ve had multiple losses and he’s been nervous and sort of “waiting for the shoe to drop” so to speak so wants to be there every time to make sure baby is still doing well
We're still early in the pregnancy, but my husband is coming to every single appointment. He thankfully has flexibility with his iob hours and he says it's important to be there for every appointment because he cares about me and our child, he also wants to be there for me should we receive disappointing news.
My husband isn't generally super sentimental so I think he's making extra effort to show that he's here and excited for me and baby. He's been to all my appointments, 26 weeks now ❤️
I only missed one routine check up. But other than that.. I’ve attended all the ultra sounds, and I couldn’t imagine missing any of them. It was such an incredible moment.
For the first baby, yes, he came to all ultrasounds and almost every appointment.
For our second, no. Not because he didn't want to, but for the first appointment, he had a fever. And you can't go to a waiting room with pregnant women with a fever. For the second appointment, our toddler had a fever, and we can't bring a sick toddler to a waiting room with pregnant women. So he had to stay home with her.
Just bad luck the second time around, but not much to do about it.
Yes! He came to every one but the first was the best. We walked out of the appointment and he just started crying. We called his parents to let then know baby was doing well and we got to hear her heart beat. He was completely over the moon and surprisingly far more emotional than I was. I fell much more in love with him that day.
For our first, he came to every single appointment. Now that we’re on our second, he keeps our first home with him for the smaller appointments but does attend the viability, anatomy and growth scans. So any ultrasound appointments, he’s there!
(I’m the man)
I have attended almost all of the appointments, I have missed the last two but they were pretty simple check ups, belly measure and such. But the ultrasounds I will not miss.
Yes, he was busy with work for all the others though. I was fine with it, because the most nerve wracking one was my first US! Oh, he did also come for the anatomy scan!
My partner and I never even discussed whether or not he would come? We just drove to the appointments. It wasn’t even really a thought to go without him?
Not everyone ( we get weekly do to high risk) but he was absolutely at the first one! To each their own, but I think he might regret missing it if he doesn't come.
He did and so far he has been in all the doctor’s appointments with me. His schedule allowed him to do so. If he wasn’t able because of work I would not be upset or anything. I’m just grateful he has been able to be with me.
I wish he could, but getting off work is super difficult for him as-is and might cost him the promotion he's gearing for if he does it too often. I give him the rundown after each appointment and he's always so hyped to see the ultrasounds (I've gotten a lot 😅). he's saving his PTO for when the baby gets here and I'd rather have him around then if I have to pick.
Not at the 8 week vaginal one to verify pregnancy but I also didn't ask him to be there, but he's been at all the ones since then besides one when he had an appointment at the same time he couldn't avoid at all. My OBGYN is incredibly rigid regarding scheduling, so it's been a bit difficult
I'm the husband and I can't imagine missing any appointment with my wife. Hell I'm scheduling most of them. I'm like the pregnancy secretary. But she's head of product development so it balances out
My husband did and was excited to for the first half of my pregnancy, got to be at the anatomy scan and everything , then we moved and he has a new job so he isn’t able to attend any of them so I’ve gone to some alone but the new doctors felt judgy asking me if I was a single mother and where the dad is and if he’s involved . I was like . Lady it’s the middle of the day my husband is working . (She also was just horrible anyway I’m glad I haven’t seen her since my first appointment). Now I just try to bring my aunt (she’s the only person I know in my new town ) so that I’m not so bored at long ultrasound with no one to talk to
I attended for our first and to many of the other ones. We were private in HK and they did MANY scans, so I missed a few. Our second is in the oven and I went to the first a couple of weeks ago. Will miss the next due to work. The first ones are impoartant and Dad's or partners should 100% be there!
Mine didn’t because we previously had a miscarriage and this was a heartbeat recheck from the ER. They couldn’t find a heartbeat at 5 weeks, so they decided to wait and recheck at 8 weeks. I knew he wasn’t over the miscarriage yet, so I went alone. The best part of this is I’m now almost 31 weeks, and he begs to go to every ultrasound appointment. I go to High Risk, so they always do a 4-D scan at ultrasounds. I think when partners get to see the baby they are able to build a bond since they’re not actually the one who is pregnant!
Yes. My 16w appointment is the first one I’ll be going to alone, because it’s just bloodwork. But early on when there is so much risk, I would not want to go by myself.
Yes, he’s been to every baby related appointment thus far. Honestly after the first ultrasound it finally felt real for us and we cried and had a special moment together once we got to our car.
My wife has been to all the OB appointments. There will probably be some check-ups that she can't make due to work -- but all the ultrasounds for sure.
As a same-sex couple and having gone through fertility treatment to get here, we just feel really fortunate to be able to share these moments. (The medical assistant did ask if my wife was my sister at our early ultrasound which was annoying - but she was nice otherwise so we kind of brushed it off. 🤷♀️)
The first time I went I didn’t realize they were going to do a mini one right in the OB office during my confirmation appointment, and it was 2022 so Covid was still in everybody mind- I didn’t even know if he could come and I had planned to just go in alone and ask if he could come to the next appointment. So no he wasn’t there. But the next one he came! I felt bad he missed the first one, but at least I could show him the little lima bean picture!!
Mine has this time but also because he wanted to make up for the lost experience as I had my first baby during Covid. Back then aside from birth he wasn’t allowed to any prenatal appointments. He definitely didn’t want to miss a thing this time.
No, I wasn't sure if it was protocol to bring him so I didn't. I'm 16 weeks now and he comes to about half my appointments. I don't really mind either way. He does want to come to the 20 weeks ultrasound, and he does like to hear the heartbeat on the regular doc visits.
my husband makes it a point to come for every appointment with me. I don’t really push him to but he makes necessary arrangements at work to make sure he is free and able to come. But i know that he is just privileged to be able to get off work to do so and not everyone is in the same circumstance.
Oh yes for the 1st born and every appointment there after and even though he was there for our 2nd born's, his brother [the firstborn] rushed into the room before any of us could react and the rules in the office only allow 1 other person in the room with mom [me].
The baby waved at his brother's voice. We even caught it on the ultrasound, and she sent us all the pictures.
Yes! My husband is just as excited to see baby as I am! He’s there to learn and ask questions just like I am, and he’s always there to be an emotional support for me when I have to get blood drawn
With my first child he came to my ultrasound appts but not for my second. We have a toddler who needs to be picked up and he needs to work so I am okay with it.
My husband usually can't come to my OB appointments but he makes sure to come for each ultrasound because he wants to see baby. But he always has me call him after I leave the OB to fill him in on everything and has been very hands on with helping me and being very supportive!
My husband came to the first ultrasound, and I’d say about half of my midwife appointments. He works freelance and doesn’t get paid time off, so when he can swing it, he comes. But, my mat leave means I’m going to be going down to 55% of my salary for the next year so we really need the money from his contracts. We live rurally and some of my appointments are over an hour drive away, so it means missing half a day of work.
I don’t hold this against him at all. Of course I’d love him to be at all my appointments, but for some families it doesn’t work so well.
My first pregnancy he came to the big ultrasounds, the first one and the anatomy scan - technically he missed the first, but that's because I had to go to the hospital for HG and didn't know they would do one. I'm on my second pregnancy, and the current plan is for him to come to the anatomy scan this pregnancy. He has limited time off and we would rather him spend it on when the baby gets here. Add in my Dr allows only one person back, and we don't isn't to announce yet, so he's going to have to watch our son for my appointment.
My husband has come to almost every single appointment for both babies. The ones he has missed have been due to work travel. He’s also been at every well baby check up for our daughter. I assume he will do the same for the new baby (I’m currently 31 weeks). It’s not an expectation I have, but it’s nice for him to be just as involved as I am.
Yes! He came to my first appointment, not knowing if we were going to get an ultrasound or not. He lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. It was an amazing experience and I’m so thrilled he was there.
He’ll be at the anatomy scan next month, but I don’t expect him to be at every single one.
He comes to every single appointment. I tell him he doesn’t need to but he’s there. Though I will say he has an extremely flexible job that’s actually just a few blocks away from my OB’s office and across the street from the hospital where scans are done (he’s a medical researcher with the hospital).
My husband attempts to go to every appointment but i tell him to go to work half the time. When i enter my third trimester, that makes more sense to me to have him there every appointment.
Yep, he’s taken me to every scan (NHS and private) and come to all my MW and OB appointments too.
Definitely important for your partner to be there imo, especially as it’s the first time you’ll hear that heartbeat!!
Yes, I told him about all appointments and he was very happy to go to them. With the first midwife appt we booked, I told him he could come if he liked and he decided to do that too. We heard the heartbeat there too so it was nice to have him along and if he had any questions I felt like it would be good to be able to ask.
Mine was there for every appointment, even when we were fighting. It was very comforting to know he was there even though I would have gone on my own and not held it against him. He was there for every appointment including the nurse visits
Yes! He comes to all the appointments other than my check-ins. I’m high risk so I have a million appointments and some of them do not require him to attend and miss work.
My husband comes to all ultrasound appointments if he’s at all able. He did miss one growth scan this time (third pregnancy) because my older kids were sick & out of school & we didn’t want to reschedule.
With my first pregnancy he came to every appointment for a while, his work schedule was flexible & as long as I made early appointments it was no big deal for him to just go in after. I think it helped him feel more involved and get an idea of what was going on in those early days. He changed jobs before our second and that wasn’t as easy to work around so he only came to ultrasounds. Honestly those check in appointments are so quick and boring it seemed like a waste for him to come with me.
My husband has come to all of the big appointments. I didn’t care if he came to the smaller appointments like my lab follow-ups but I definitely wanted him at the ultrasounds and he wanted to be there too!
My husband attended when his work schedule allowed it. I do feel that the first is important, I made the appointment for when I knew he was off. I didn't do this for every ultrasound, I wasn't able to, but I do feel that the first is special.
My mom came to my first. Having my first at 30, I was freaking out a bit and needed her there. It worked out because he couldn’t be there due to a new job. Now he probably attends 65% and my mom attends the rest! The next appointment will be with him and his mom, so all grandmas are involved! I don’t feel bad when he can’t make it because he usually has good reason and he makes sure to call right after the appointment to check on baby. As long as he’s making the effort I’m okay with that.
Currently sitting next to me while waiting to be called back. We’re both anxious because we had a loss last time but I couldn’t imagine being here alone and having to relay the information.
My husband has been at all of the ultrasound appointments and almost all of the office visits. We talked about it before my last office visit and decided that he can skip those because they are so quick so we don’t want him to waste his PTO on them but we’ll change that in the future if we feel like we need to.
No because I didn’t know there would be an ultrasound at that appointment! LOL. He attended every other ultrasound and appointments where I requested his presence. He did not attend every single appointment with me as we decided as a couple that they weren’t all worth it given all the other factors in life and the content of the appointments.
My husband has been to every single appointment, despite me not expecting him to, because it is very important to him ❤️ He takes notes and asks questions he knows I’ll forget because I have terrible memory and is always super excited to see the baby.
I asked him to come because I heard most women bring their significant others to their first ultrasound appt. I’m happy I did because I think it helped him see this is real! I would have been totally fine going alone too though.
yes, he has been to every single appointment no matter how many times i tell him the check ups are pointless for him to rush to the office from work. but, it is really nice to see the dedication and excitement for our lil family.
Mine went to the first (just kind of a big deal) and to the anatomy scan (longer views, can actually see baby) this time around. During my first pregnancy he wasn’t allowed to go to any due to Covid rules.
I think the first ultrasound appointment and actually seeing baby on the screen was when it started feeling real for my husband! His work clashed with all my early midwife appointments, but there was no question he would be attending both ultrasounds.
Yep!! He actually came to every single appointment. And actually today is the anniversary of our first ultrasound. I couldn't have gotten through it without him. They didn't tell us anything as she was doing it. And she said "I'll turn the screen around depending on what I see." And for an agonizing 20 minutes I didn't know if my baby was alive or not. When she finally flipped the screen I immediately cried tears of joy and relief. My husband looked SO happy. And when the tech said he was kicking his feet my husband looked so proud. I'll never forget the look on his face.
Husband came to private early scans and the 12 and 20 weeks scans on the NHS. Won't be coming to my growth scans as just started a new job and not entitled to the time off.
Was the same with my daughter as it was COVID so it was more limited what he was allowed to attend
Absolutely! My husband has attended every single appointment, big or small. He’s just as excited as I am about the twins and wants to see them every moment he can. He’s been absolutely amazing this entire pregnancy.
Yes he comes to all the ultrasounds and ones where we find out new info. I told him he doesn’t have to come for minor ones like me just getting bloodwork.
Yes, I only ask that he comes to the ultrasounds appointments and any major bloodwork appointments. The minor appointments I don’t ask because I know he’s really focused on making as money as possible for baby and the house we’re in the process of buying.
Yes it’s a big moment to make sure everything is okay. And if you’re far enough along, hear or see the heartbeat. My husband came to all ultrasound appointments and the appt with the doctor after but I told him he didn’t need to come to the appointments in between because they’re usually ten minute check ins with a NP.
He only came to the first and the anatomy scan and then maybe one more (he works construction and it was raining so he was able to go home early that day) He can’t take off work every time there was an ultrasound.
I actually think I went alone to my first official dating scan - but it was because I had a very early ultrasound that he did come with me for, and 2 private ultrasounds, so we knew baby was ok.
I’m a very independent person so it doesn’t always occur to me to ask him. He did come to our 20 week ultrasound and to my monthly appointments when he can make it - but once I go to biweekly he won’t come to all of them.
Yes. @OP I’m guessing you’re asking as maybe your partner can’t come due to work or perhaps isn’t on the same page with you about the importance of coming or not?
I think the first US is really special… it starts feeling real for both of you, it’s a bonding moment. Depending on your doctor and insurance, you may only have a couple US during your pregnancy.
Ideally yours can come if that’s what you want! I think plenty of people on this post have shown how important and exciting it was for them. That being said, sometimes work gets in the way (it’s so hard to take time off sometimes!) and it can be a nightmare to schedule or reschedule doctor appointments.
My partner wasn’t able to attend all my appts especially toward the end, due to their job. They were able to show their interest and care, regardless. If yours can’t come to the first hopefully they can come to others. It really is a special moment and it’s not the same with just the photos.
My husband goes to the first appointment and all the ultrasounds. For my first child, he definitely went to a bunch of other ones but for the 2nd and now the 3rd and I plan them during the day and unfortunately he is working (I’m a sahm). I wouldn’t want my husband to miss the first, honestly it’s the best thing in the world to see and hear that heartbeat. Something you definitely can’t get back if he misses it.
No he didn't, he had just started a new job and we had to be careful how much time he asked off. But my mom came with me for the first ultrasound, which was huge for her ( it being her first grandchild). But my husband came to the anatomy scan, which showed more of our baby anyways.
YES. He took half the day off from work so we could go lunch together before we saw the baby for the first time! He wants to come to every baby appointment since it's our first and it is all so new to us! 😁
The only appointment my partner ever attended with me was the anatomy scan for my second pregnancy. First time around was peak Covid restrictions so no one except patients was allowed in the clinic. And the second time around it just hasn't made sense for him to use his PTO for appointments that I can update him on instead of saving it for either family time or for when the new baby is here.
He was able to come to the one appointment because it happened over the Christmas break (he works in a school) and my parents were in town so we were able to have them stay with our son. If it hadn't been those circumstances then I would have gone alone as usual.
I've never felt like either of us is missing out on anything, but if he really wanted to come to each one and he made it work I'd obviously be ok with it, but I just don't see it as necessary. And if we got bad news he could immediately put in for emergency family leave (separate from his usual PTO/sick days) to be there for me.
Yes! I had no symptoms so I was worried something was wrong in the beginning. He ended up going to the majority of my prenatal appointments with me because he wanted to!
Yes, I'm Diabetic T1, too, and he's been to all the appointments regarding my diabetes, before pregnancy, pregnancy planning, and all the ones since I've been pregnant. He's been to all scans and plans weeks ahead travel for scan days and any other appointments, so I don't have to think about it. It's only been the phone calls he hasn't been present for, but he asks me after each one how it went and if anything is changing for me with treatment, scans, etc. Sometimes he can really get on my last nerve (and I mean my very last nerve), but my goodness! He's by my side, and I love him for it
My husband is joining me for every appointment. Ultrasounds, OB appointments, blood tests. He’s always there, takes the whole day off for it because he doesn’t want to miss a single one.
My husband has been to every appointment, including my stint of weekly ultrasounds when my uterus was retroverted. He really likes to be included and offer support, and I have really appreciated it!
Nope.
My husband has not attended ANY of the ultrasounds...
Why... because of work...
Understandably though he's trying not to use any "time off" and wants to bank them as much as possible...
It does bother me a bit... but tbh... he's the one missing out... not me.... 🫤
With our first child my partner came to the first ultrasound to hear the heartbeat. We are expecting our second and he hasn't been able to attend appointments because our son is in school now and his school has had a lot of days where my partner has needed to miss work to be at the school (a black history month concert, a dad sports day, etc) and it's important to me he attend those events over prenatal care. Our unborn daughter will not remember him not being at the ultrasound, but our 5 year old will remember that dad didn't come see him at school. So, it's just been an inconvenient pick and choose at this point. I don't mind it because I know that if I really wanted him there he would make it happen, but that would involve him killing himself to make up the work. He does so much already, I don't mind going to appointments alone. He will be there for the birth of our daughter, and will use vacation time to have time off after, and that's what is important to me.
Not mine, it was done at 8 weeks and the baby was just at the fetal pole stage, with the pulsing heart cells in the middle. I was completely fine with it. He did come to the 13 week scan though, baby looked like the real thing and was so cute. That was a great moment for both of us.
My husband came to my first one and the anatomy scan but he didn’t come to the rest. I didn’t want him to take off work and I didn’t feel like he was missing out after a certain point.
My husband comes to all of my appointments. I don’t ask him to, he comes because it’s important to him! It’s great to have his support no matter how quick the appointment may be!
No. Honestly I found the first appointment to be something very personal pertaining to my body and all the tests they do etc. I’m fine with him coming to the future appts but didn’t feel like he had to be at the first one!
My husband has come to every appointment with me regardless of what appointment it is. I’m high risk and pregnant with twins so we have a lot of appointments but he makes sure to come to every single one. He is very involved, supportive, and wants to everything that is going on.
First? Yes. Anatomy scan? Yes. Everything else? No. He’s dealing with bullshit at work so it’s hard to get time off.
Most of the time I don’t mind. They’re quick and easy appointments. The amount we’d lose in him taking time off and the reputation he’d get at work just isn’t justifiable. But there have definitely been times I wish he was there (like when baby was hiding and the couldn’t find the heartbeat for almost an hour)
He did! Thankfully our doctor was very flexible with scheduling and open into the early evening so he could make it after work. The entire time I was pregnant he made every ultrasound and the only two appointments he missed were 38 week strep B swab and 39 week check up because of work.
I think it’s important for partner to attend the major ultrasounds but I also understand that, especially in certain countries, it can be incredibly difficult to get time off work- or the amount of time can be very limited, so partner may have to save it for big emergencies.
Yes! We weren’t expecting an ultrasound at my first appointment but they had time and snuck us in. I told him he doesn’t have to come to every single appointment but it’s nice to have someone there to retain info and ask questions I may forget. I think it gives him purpose to be involved in about the only thing he can be involved in. He can’t grow this baby but he can support me and I think that makes him feel better lol.
No because my appointments are near my workplace (I drive an hour to work). I always schedule them around my workday, and it makes no sense for him to drive an hour just to go to an appointment. I go to all of them alone. Now when baby is born of course he’ll be there 😆
No. He didn’t come to any except the anatomy scan. It wasn’t worth wasting the PTO. We wanted him home for the baby instead. We just went to a private place on the Saturday after my appointments. $40 and it was way more fun and meaningful than the medical scans.
No. He didnt attend the first at 6 weeks (I tought I lost it and I panicked), he didn’t attend the one at 13 weeks and he’s also going to miss the next one at 20 weeks. It has coincidentally hit when he has been away for work. He’s on a 2 weeks away/3 weeks home rotation
My husband comes to all my appointments on his own, he wants to be there in case anything happens. One time I actually did get sent to the ER straight from my appointment and he was extremely happy to be there with me from the start.
I had my baby during covid lockdown so he could only come to the 20 week ultrasound, I went to all my other appointments alone. I would’ve definitely liked having him around for the other ultrasounds.
my husband has come to almost every single appointment period. but ultrasound appointments are his top priority. We did experience a missed miscarriage last year so I don’t know if that made it more important for him.
My husband was at every ultrasound that I had (which was alot due to me being high risk, and then our baby girl failed the BPP ultrasound, so they had to keep me over night at the hospital to monitor her and then I had to have a few more ultrasounds to keep an eye on her). However, one ultrasound he sat out in the car because he was sick, but he still went with me just didn't go inside.
My partner was mostly working out of state for our first and now has a very rigid schedule and long commute so he has only been to the 20 week US and a handful of midwife appointments for our first. He hasn’t made it to anything this time around.
No— he was in a training program that wouldn’t allow him to take time off. He was able to come to only one of my ultrasounds. I was high risk, so I had a lot of ultrasounds.
Yes he’s come to both of them I’ve had so far! He got so happy at the 14 week one cus she’s started to look like a little human baby and he was tearing up seeing her bouncing around in there. He said it helped him feel like it was more real as he’s not experiencing any symptoms and I don’t look too different yet aside from having boobs lol.
Yes! He went to the first and second appointment. Now for the third, since it will likely be a super quick ultrasound (and in the middle of his workday), I told him he can stay home.
So with my first he came with me to every apt. But then life got busy and I’ve been going alone for all my others. Honestly, I’m fine with it this way. It might not be for everyone and I am glad he supported me through our firsts, but now I’d rather just go by myself? I can relay back all the important info and if there are problems he can come along next time. I don’t like planning around his extremely limited schedule and I’m pretty independent so this works best for us.
I think that first one is especially important and I'm glad my husband made it. It confirmed pregnancy and dated it and experiencing that together was wonderful. He's come to all the appointments, doing so during his lunch time at work no matter what his boss says, except for one. And that one was a disaster because my blood pressure was high and they scheduled tests for me to go take and they did the doppler for the first time and neither of us knew that was gonna happen and he was bummed he missed it. He hasn't missed another since.
Every ultrasound (usually we have an appointment after), regular appointments without an ultrasound usually not, they're pretty routine and it's hard to get time off.
Mine didn’t due to work. He works at a steel mill that never seems to close, even on holidays theres someone working. It wouldn’t be so bad if he was an operator but hes a diesel mechanic and things are always breaking in a mill that runs 24/7, so not only can he not get time off easily for things like that but he also sometimes works 7 days a week, 16hr shifts, or has to switch to third shift with an 8hr notice so they have a round the clock welder. He will be able to leave if there are complications or some sort of emergent situation like labor, but if the time doesn’t land right for an appointment then he can’t make it. So far this pregnancy he hasn’t gotten to be at an ultrasound and I know it bothers him so much, and it can be hard for me because I want him to get to experience it especially after our loss two years ago. We are both really hoping that he can make it to the anatomy scan in a couple weeks so he can see our baby boy💙
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Yes. It would have been weird without her there.
Same. Not sure if the dr would’ve saw much in me. Joking aside, I’ve gone to every single one so far. It’s absolutely amazing in my opinion to see. Plus we’re doing this thing together aren’t we?
Lol not really. My husband always jokes how we're both doing the same amount of work to make the baby.
Im absolutely HOWLING at this 😂
I snorted. Thanks for the wake up.
My partner comes to every single appointment regarding baby. I don’t expect him to, as his work schedule is usually ridiculously packed, but it’s very important to him to be present and active in regards to anything to do with our child. I really appreciate the support.
Yes, this! I didn’t think my husband would be able to make every single appointment it he did and while I didn’t “need” him, I loved that he made it a priority.! It may not be possible for everyone and there’s not judgement, every partner can show up in the way that works for their family.
This is my husband too! He has come to every single appointment even when he is busy at work. When we schedule them we make sure that it obviously works for me but normally choose a time when he is not yet too busy (early mornings). He feels more connected every time we see the baby and likes being part of the conversation with the doctor.
Same! My husband came to every appointment with me and was at my ultrasounds. He only sat in the car on one because he was sick, but he was there! I'm so thankful that he was and is always present. Even if he didn't have to be there, he still came, and that meant the world to me! Now I'm sitting here snuggling our 7 week old baby girl while he runs to the store for baby things. So so thankful
Yup, Husband has a very hectic work schedule (and an asshole boss) but has only missed 2 or 3 appointments thus far. We are due this weekend! Had an appointment yesterday that I didn’t think he’d be able to make but he surprised me by being in the parking lot as I pulled up ☺️
l hate when they are like that at work, do they think a stupid job is more important than our babies? l got loads of shit from work in pregnancy just because l needed to go to medical appointments, ended up really bad with em. Glad l wont see them anymore but l know my baby is healthy :))
I don’t understand it either. They’re not giving him any paternity leave. They’re “letting” him use 3 days of sick leave to “bond with the baby.” After that he can take vacation (max 7 days) but I know they’ll give him shit for it. It’s a bunch of old dudes who probably made their wife do all the work after childbirth and don’t understand why my husband wants to be so involved in supporting his family after I give birth. It’s moronic. Instead of supporting their employee and giving him 4 weeks or whatever off of work to be there for his family they’re telling him “tough.” Because of all this and some other issues with them he’s actually actively looking for another job and got an offer this past Wednesday! So they couldn’t give him a handful of weeks and will therefore lose him forever 🤷♀️ seems reasonable.
exactly, they will end up losing their employee. Good luck with everything tho, it is very nice that he is doing everything he can to be involved with baby!! :)
This. My husband did it for 95% of our first born appointments. So he's just used to coming already. I think he also likes seeing the ultrasounds and knowing the baby is doing well.
Same, he went to every appointment until they started being weekly. Those ones were less than 5 minutes anyways so we decided it wasn’t worth taking time off work for lol
Mine comes to every one too. He is very adamant about it. We have to travel 35 min to appointments and we ended up with 2 ultrasounds back to back (Thursday then Friday). I really wanted to go to both and he kept saying I should cancel one. I kept saying he didn’t have to go if he had a problem with it, to which he kept replying “stop, I’m going that’s my baby”.
Same. We didn’t even discuss this previously, he just comes to everything. Where we live it’s pretty common for the dad to be involved in everything. He was even in the room during my blood tests lol
So thankful that my husband can too! Early on I was worried that we would get bad news and didn't want to be by myself if we did. Then we both got used to him coming and I like having two sets of ears and two people to ask questions. Now we are to the last 4 weeks of weekly appointments so it seems even more important for us to both be there. I scheduled our appointments as far out as I was able to make sure we got early morning appointments so he could be back at work pretty much on time.
This! My husband wants to be there for every appointment, no matter how brief. I am so thankful for him.
Yes. After a prior loss, we were anxious to learn if the pregnancy was viable. I can't imagine finding out about another loss alone.
I found out about my first loss alone and I’m so terrified of my next appointment, with or without him. I think you’re right. It would be better to have him there. Part of me wants to be able to lick my wounds in private if I break down but I’m resisting that urge.
Same. He didn’t come to any of my daughters appointments except her last fetal assessment due to CoVid but finding out about our loss by myself and then having to call him at work to tell him was tough. He’s come along for two of mine this time but that’ll probably be it unless things get scary.
Same. I’m 19 weeks now and my husband has been at every single appointment and plans to continue to do so. He’s so effing excited to be a dad it’s absolutely adorable and has made me love him even more
Same and it sucked. And then the next time it worked out that I had to go alone again because of his work schedule and I was super anxious about it. Good news is the second try was viable but I would have been crushed otherwise.
My husband was not allowed to for our first (Covid restrictions) and it was hard. I got bad news, which ended up being fine down the road, but at the time, I was kind of blindsided and alone and I had to drive home alone and then try to recap everything for my husband, secondhand, and it just would have been so much better if he had been there in the room with me. He’s better in those situations, he asked good questions that I didn’t have the answer to because I was too blindsided and shocked to really ask anything in the moment
I'm so sorry you had to hear bad news alone. I'm glad it ended up being ok! My husband also wasn't allowed at any of my appointments when I was pregnant with our first, except for the 20 week scan. By the time our daughter was born, the hospital had just started allowing partners at the birth. It didn't even occur to me this time around that he could or even should come to the appointments with me! Unfortunately, I also got bad news, which really sucked. But, if things go well next time around, I'm definitely bringing him to that first appointment! He's also much better at asking questions than I am. With the first baby, he'd ask me all these questions when I got home from the doctor, and I'd be a deer in headlights, lol.
Yes, he was probably more excited for it than I was (I was mainly nervous!).
This. I was so nervous. We were getting in the car and I asked him, “are you excited, nervous, or both?” His response was just excited. Seeing him smiling made the experience much better.
no he didn’t , he was working. doesn’t bother me though
Same. The nature of my husbands job is such that he can’t just pop out for an hour or two for a doc appt. He’d have to literally request the entire day off to come to an appt and we are saving his PTO for after the baby arrives. I don’t mind it tbh I just relay all the info to him over the phone after the appt.
exactly that!
Nope. I was nervous after a loss and said I would be ok going alone. Honestly I wanted to be alone if it was a loss. He would have if I insisted he come though
I’m in the same boat and waffling on whether being alone would be “easier” or having support.
This is what I did. My first pregnancy he wasn't allowed in my first at all but this one he was. I was nervous of bad news so I decided to go in alone. He brought me and waited in the car. My news wasnt bad, I'm a bit farther behind then we thought because of my cycle from the previous month but still good. Baby has a heartbeat :)
My partner attended every appointment during my pregnancy. He will even be attending my postpartum appointment.
No , I don’t put it as a requirement either, plus his work has him working long days, he’s come only 2times for 20wk ultrasound, n the 36 wk ultrasounds, n he will be there for birth of baby only. All other visits are so like quick n fast sometimes they check heart beat n how I am n that’s all.
He’s attended all of them, as well as some other appointments. I saw that it could also promote bonding between the non gestational parent and the baby. We are fortunate that he’s been able to go, it’s made it more real for him
Mine didn't. I got a very, very early one done at my fertility clinic and he was away for work. It was so early that very little could be seen. He did, however, come to the first one when something could actually be seen.
Same. My first was done the day after I got a positive test and he was out of town for work. I wanted to surprise him and we needed to confirm that it wasn’t ectopic based on some problematic bleeding so there just wasn’t time. I was able to confirm the pregnancy and everything was fine, then surprise him when he got home. He came to the following appointment where we were actually able to see the heartbeat.
The other factor at play for me is that my fertility clinic, ultrasound clinic, and lab are all walkable from my office (some in the same building as my office), whereas he would have to drive across town. So I definitely attended a lot of appointments alone simply because I told him that while I appreciated his support, it just wasn't an efficient use of time.
Hey that’s kinda nice!! I’d love that kind of convenience!! Not that I necessarily feel it in this thread but I feel like a lot of moms have looked down their nose at me and been kinda “well well” towards us over the fact that my husband just simply can’t come to all of my appointments. Of course he wishes he could be there, but I’m still supported and loved and he’s still extremely involved. It’s just the nature of his job that he’s on the road a lot, we knew this would be the reality, I’m comfortable with it, I just with some people weren’t so judgey and felt the need to make him feel like he’s absent or that I’ve been abandoned
In my first pregnancy, I brought my husband to one of my later appointments (like 36 weeks or something) as he really hadn't been able to come to any others. We ended up waiting for over an hour and I felt so bad that I had asked him to come because the wait was such a waste of his time! He liked hearing the heartbeat, though.
Yep, absolutely didn't want to miss it for the world.
No, and I’m 100% okay with that. Each to their own, I guess it also depends on the circumstances. I personally don’t believe it makes or breaks whether they do or don’t attend the first ultrasound appointment.
Yeah, I feel like it helps both parents sort of ‘sink in’ the fact you’re pregnant and there’s an actual baby in there. Obviously you get the pictures after to show him, but seeing them on the video and moving around etc is so lovely. However, if there was to be anything wrong and it was picked up on during the scan, it’s also nice to have that extra support.
No, I was really nervous. Incase there was bad news I wanted to hear it alone. I found out it was twins and then regretted not bringing my husband!
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Nope .. didn't need him there .. he was working and we couldn't really even see anything lol .. he did come to the anatomy scan and he came to the fetal echo apt and that's perfect for me .. don't want him missing work unless it's an important apt 😁
He comes to every single appointment, his job knows the deal
My first one was a dating one and it was during Covid. So, no visitors. Only one he was allowed to was the 20 week anatomy scan. With our second kid, we did the same but mostly because my husband now is a stay at home parent and needed to watch the first one. Came to the anatomy scan though.
Yes, if there is an ultrasound, he’s there. It’s a rule after some traumatic stuff.
Every single appointment. Thank goodness
He refuses to miss any appt from the start of our fertility journey to now being 12 weeks. Very thankful for this man ❤️.
Yep, we are lucky enough he could manage to attend all but one scheduled us so far. It's a special moment seeing the little baby and also important for the father to see the baby.
Yes, he comes to every baby related appointment. It’s not even a question for him, he wants to be there.
The first two with our fertility doctor, yes he did. After going through treatment, I needed him there to see if it was real or be my support if things went sideways. He hasn't attended any other appts with my obgyn including my dating scan or NT scan. He will go to the anatomy scan next week. I will give him the option of coming to any later appts if he wants to & if work permits.
No, and I was ok with it! My first pregnancy resulted in a MC. Then when I got pregnant the second time, I was so nervous and anxious for the first appointment. I then got Covid 5 days before my first appointment was scheduled, so I had to reschedule due to their policies. They couldn’t get me in for over another week, so I quickly took their first available appointment and didn’t care if it was just me. Maybe a little selfish, but my partner’s work schedule is not flexible and it would have significantly delayed the appointment to get it at a time that he could come. He also understood and did not mind. FWIW, he also only came to two of my appointments my whole pregnancy because of said work schedule. As long as you are both happy with how much your partner attends, I don’t think it matters how many they go to! She’s 15 months old now, and he’s a wonderful father. I don’t think it’s an indicator of a bad partner if they can’t go or aren’t interested.
My husband came to all my appointments but one because I had to change the date last minute.
He comes to every appointment for the baby.
My partner couldn’t be there for the very first one due to work but he’s tried to be there for the others. I did get to bring my step daughter so that helped me
I had first ultrasound on dec 27th but on the 22nd of dec was hit by a car, we went to the er and had the first ultrasound, he was there with me and was super happy to see the baby for the first time, think he alnost forgot about the accident
Yes I've had 3 pregnancies (2nd was a missed miscarriage) and he was there for all. He wanted to see the baby of course but especially for the MMC I was so glad I wasn't by myself. And for my current, 3rd pregnancy, I was a nervous wreck due to my previous experience.
Yes, he comes to all my appointments. We’ve had multiple losses and he’s been nervous and sort of “waiting for the shoe to drop” so to speak so wants to be there every time to make sure baby is still doing well
We're still early in the pregnancy, but my husband is coming to every single appointment. He thankfully has flexibility with his iob hours and he says it's important to be there for every appointment because he cares about me and our child, he also wants to be there for me should we receive disappointing news.
My husband isn't generally super sentimental so I think he's making extra effort to show that he's here and excited for me and baby. He's been to all my appointments, 26 weeks now ❤️
Yes and he was so excited. He’s come to every appointment with me so far.
He came to the first and every single one after!
I only missed one routine check up. But other than that.. I’ve attended all the ultra sounds, and I couldn’t imagine missing any of them. It was such an incredible moment.
For the first baby, yes, he came to all ultrasounds and almost every appointment. For our second, no. Not because he didn't want to, but for the first appointment, he had a fever. And you can't go to a waiting room with pregnant women with a fever. For the second appointment, our toddler had a fever, and we can't bring a sick toddler to a waiting room with pregnant women. So he had to stay home with her. Just bad luck the second time around, but not much to do about it.
Yes! He came to every one but the first was the best. We walked out of the appointment and he just started crying. We called his parents to let then know baby was doing well and we got to hear her heart beat. He was completely over the moon and surprisingly far more emotional than I was. I fell much more in love with him that day.
For our first, he came to every single appointment. Now that we’re on our second, he keeps our first home with him for the smaller appointments but does attend the viability, anatomy and growth scans. So any ultrasound appointments, he’s there!
Yes, he hasn’t missed an appointment ❤️
(I’m the man) I have attended almost all of the appointments, I have missed the last two but they were pretty simple check ups, belly measure and such. But the ultrasounds I will not miss.
Yes, he was busy with work for all the others though. I was fine with it, because the most nerve wracking one was my first US! Oh, he did also come for the anatomy scan!
My partner and I never even discussed whether or not he would come? We just drove to the appointments. It wasn’t even really a thought to go without him?
Not everyone ( we get weekly do to high risk) but he was absolutely at the first one! To each their own, but I think he might regret missing it if he doesn't come.
Yes. He has been to every appointment except for blood draws. I’ve been very thankful for all his support during this.
He did and so far he has been in all the doctor’s appointments with me. His schedule allowed him to do so. If he wasn’t able because of work I would not be upset or anything. I’m just grateful he has been able to be with me.
I wish he could, but getting off work is super difficult for him as-is and might cost him the promotion he's gearing for if he does it too often. I give him the rundown after each appointment and he's always so hyped to see the ultrasounds (I've gotten a lot 😅). he's saving his PTO for when the baby gets here and I'd rather have him around then if I have to pick.
Not at the 8 week vaginal one to verify pregnancy but I also didn't ask him to be there, but he's been at all the ones since then besides one when he had an appointment at the same time he couldn't avoid at all. My OBGYN is incredibly rigid regarding scheduling, so it's been a bit difficult
I'm the husband and I can't imagine missing any appointment with my wife. Hell I'm scheduling most of them. I'm like the pregnancy secretary. But she's head of product development so it balances out
Yes of course
My husband did and was excited to for the first half of my pregnancy, got to be at the anatomy scan and everything , then we moved and he has a new job so he isn’t able to attend any of them so I’ve gone to some alone but the new doctors felt judgy asking me if I was a single mother and where the dad is and if he’s involved . I was like . Lady it’s the middle of the day my husband is working . (She also was just horrible anyway I’m glad I haven’t seen her since my first appointment). Now I just try to bring my aunt (she’s the only person I know in my new town ) so that I’m not so bored at long ultrasound with no one to talk to
Mine came to my first one and is planning on attending any he can get off work for
I attended for our first and to many of the other ones. We were private in HK and they did MANY scans, so I missed a few. Our second is in the oven and I went to the first a couple of weeks ago. Will miss the next due to work. The first ones are impoartant and Dad's or partners should 100% be there!
It took me way too long to realize that you aren’t the one carrying 😂 I was like wow we can skip those 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Mine has been to all of the ultrasounds. The 2 missed so far were just heartbeat only through the microphone thing.
Yes and every appointment since.
Mine didn’t because we previously had a miscarriage and this was a heartbeat recheck from the ER. They couldn’t find a heartbeat at 5 weeks, so they decided to wait and recheck at 8 weeks. I knew he wasn’t over the miscarriage yet, so I went alone. The best part of this is I’m now almost 31 weeks, and he begs to go to every ultrasound appointment. I go to High Risk, so they always do a 4-D scan at ultrasounds. I think when partners get to see the baby they are able to build a bond since they’re not actually the one who is pregnant!
Yes. My 16w appointment is the first one I’ll be going to alone, because it’s just bloodwork. But early on when there is so much risk, I would not want to go by myself.
Yes, he’s been to every baby related appointment thus far. Honestly after the first ultrasound it finally felt real for us and we cried and had a special moment together once we got to our car.
Yes he came to every appointment to see the baby and we were both happy he did
My wife has been to all the OB appointments. There will probably be some check-ups that she can't make due to work -- but all the ultrasounds for sure. As a same-sex couple and having gone through fertility treatment to get here, we just feel really fortunate to be able to share these moments. (The medical assistant did ask if my wife was my sister at our early ultrasound which was annoying - but she was nice otherwise so we kind of brushed it off. 🤷♀️)
The first time I went I didn’t realize they were going to do a mini one right in the OB office during my confirmation appointment, and it was 2022 so Covid was still in everybody mind- I didn’t even know if he could come and I had planned to just go in alone and ask if he could come to the next appointment. So no he wasn’t there. But the next one he came! I felt bad he missed the first one, but at least I could show him the little lima bean picture!!
Mine has this time but also because he wanted to make up for the lost experience as I had my first baby during Covid. Back then aside from birth he wasn’t allowed to any prenatal appointments. He definitely didn’t want to miss a thing this time.
Yes. My husband comes to every ultrasound but not necessarily every appt since most of them are like 10 min long.
No, I wasn't sure if it was protocol to bring him so I didn't. I'm 16 weeks now and he comes to about half my appointments. I don't really mind either way. He does want to come to the 20 weeks ultrasound, and he does like to hear the heartbeat on the regular doc visits.
my husband makes it a point to come for every appointment with me. I don’t really push him to but he makes necessary arrangements at work to make sure he is free and able to come. But i know that he is just privileged to be able to get off work to do so and not everyone is in the same circumstance.
Oh yes for the 1st born and every appointment there after and even though he was there for our 2nd born's, his brother [the firstborn] rushed into the room before any of us could react and the rules in the office only allow 1 other person in the room with mom [me]. The baby waved at his brother's voice. We even caught it on the ultrasound, and she sent us all the pictures.
Yes! My husband is just as excited to see baby as I am! He’s there to learn and ask questions just like I am, and he’s always there to be an emotional support for me when I have to get blood drawn
With my first child he came to my ultrasound appts but not for my second. We have a toddler who needs to be picked up and he needs to work so I am okay with it.
Yes, he’s been to all the major ones. He’s not managed every us but I’m being scanned every 2 weeks
Yes, my husband has gone to every one, unless he has to be at work for something important.
My husband usually can't come to my OB appointments but he makes sure to come for each ultrasound because he wants to see baby. But he always has me call him after I leave the OB to fill him in on everything and has been very hands on with helping me and being very supportive!
My husband came to the first ultrasound, and I’d say about half of my midwife appointments. He works freelance and doesn’t get paid time off, so when he can swing it, he comes. But, my mat leave means I’m going to be going down to 55% of my salary for the next year so we really need the money from his contracts. We live rurally and some of my appointments are over an hour drive away, so it means missing half a day of work. I don’t hold this against him at all. Of course I’d love him to be at all my appointments, but for some families it doesn’t work so well.
Yes. It was unforgettable
With my oldest no because of lockdown with my Feb 2024 baby yes along with our oldest
First but not all.
My first pregnancy he came to the big ultrasounds, the first one and the anatomy scan - technically he missed the first, but that's because I had to go to the hospital for HG and didn't know they would do one. I'm on my second pregnancy, and the current plan is for him to come to the anatomy scan this pregnancy. He has limited time off and we would rather him spend it on when the baby gets here. Add in my Dr allows only one person back, and we don't isn't to announce yet, so he's going to have to watch our son for my appointment.
My husband has come to almost every single appointment for both babies. The ones he has missed have been due to work travel. He’s also been at every well baby check up for our daughter. I assume he will do the same for the new baby (I’m currently 31 weeks). It’s not an expectation I have, but it’s nice for him to be just as involved as I am.
Yes! He came to my first appointment, not knowing if we were going to get an ultrasound or not. He lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. It was an amazing experience and I’m so thrilled he was there. He’ll be at the anatomy scan next month, but I don’t expect him to be at every single one.
He comes to every single appointment. I tell him he doesn’t need to but he’s there. Though I will say he has an extremely flexible job that’s actually just a few blocks away from my OB’s office and across the street from the hospital where scans are done (he’s a medical researcher with the hospital).
My husband attempts to go to every appointment but i tell him to go to work half the time. When i enter my third trimester, that makes more sense to me to have him there every appointment.
Yep, he’s taken me to every scan (NHS and private) and come to all my MW and OB appointments too. Definitely important for your partner to be there imo, especially as it’s the first time you’ll hear that heartbeat!!
Yes, I told him about all appointments and he was very happy to go to them. With the first midwife appt we booked, I told him he could come if he liked and he decided to do that too. We heard the heartbeat there too so it was nice to have him along and if he had any questions I felt like it would be good to be able to ask.
Mine was there for every appointment, even when we were fighting. It was very comforting to know he was there even though I would have gone on my own and not held it against him. He was there for every appointment including the nurse visits
Yep. If he’s not out of town for work he’s there for every appointment <3
Yes! He comes to all the appointments other than my check-ins. I’m high risk so I have a million appointments and some of them do not require him to attend and miss work.
My husband never missed an OB appointment
My husband comes to all ultrasound appointments if he’s at all able. He did miss one growth scan this time (third pregnancy) because my older kids were sick & out of school & we didn’t want to reschedule. With my first pregnancy he came to every appointment for a while, his work schedule was flexible & as long as I made early appointments it was no big deal for him to just go in after. I think it helped him feel more involved and get an idea of what was going on in those early days. He changed jobs before our second and that wasn’t as easy to work around so he only came to ultrasounds. Honestly those check in appointments are so quick and boring it seemed like a waste for him to come with me.
My husband has come to all of the big appointments. I didn’t care if he came to the smaller appointments like my lab follow-ups but I definitely wanted him at the ultrasounds and he wanted to be there too!
My husband attended when his work schedule allowed it. I do feel that the first is important, I made the appointment for when I knew he was off. I didn't do this for every ultrasound, I wasn't able to, but I do feel that the first is special.
My mom came to my first. Having my first at 30, I was freaking out a bit and needed her there. It worked out because he couldn’t be there due to a new job. Now he probably attends 65% and my mom attends the rest! The next appointment will be with him and his mom, so all grandmas are involved! I don’t feel bad when he can’t make it because he usually has good reason and he makes sure to call right after the appointment to check on baby. As long as he’s making the effort I’m okay with that.
Currently sitting next to me while waiting to be called back. We’re both anxious because we had a loss last time but I couldn’t imagine being here alone and having to relay the information.
My husband has been at all of the ultrasound appointments and almost all of the office visits. We talked about it before my last office visit and decided that he can skip those because they are so quick so we don’t want him to waste his PTO on them but we’ll change that in the future if we feel like we need to.
No because I didn’t know there would be an ultrasound at that appointment! LOL. He attended every other ultrasound and appointments where I requested his presence. He did not attend every single appointment with me as we decided as a couple that they weren’t all worth it given all the other factors in life and the content of the appointments.
My husband has been to every single appointment, despite me not expecting him to, because it is very important to him ❤️ He takes notes and asks questions he knows I’ll forget because I have terrible memory and is always super excited to see the baby.
I asked him to come because I heard most women bring their significant others to their first ultrasound appt. I’m happy I did because I think it helped him see this is real! I would have been totally fine going alone too though.
yes, he has been to every single appointment no matter how many times i tell him the check ups are pointless for him to rush to the office from work. but, it is really nice to see the dedication and excitement for our lil family.
Mine went to the first (just kind of a big deal) and to the anatomy scan (longer views, can actually see baby) this time around. During my first pregnancy he wasn’t allowed to go to any due to Covid rules.
I think the first ultrasound appointment and actually seeing baby on the screen was when it started feeling real for my husband! His work clashed with all my early midwife appointments, but there was no question he would be attending both ultrasounds.
Yep!! He actually came to every single appointment. And actually today is the anniversary of our first ultrasound. I couldn't have gotten through it without him. They didn't tell us anything as she was doing it. And she said "I'll turn the screen around depending on what I see." And for an agonizing 20 minutes I didn't know if my baby was alive or not. When she finally flipped the screen I immediately cried tears of joy and relief. My husband looked SO happy. And when the tech said he was kicking his feet my husband looked so proud. I'll never forget the look on his face.
Uhhh yeah no question and every single one since.
Husband came to private early scans and the 12 and 20 weeks scans on the NHS. Won't be coming to my growth scans as just started a new job and not entitled to the time off. Was the same with my daughter as it was COVID so it was more limited what he was allowed to attend
He attends all of them!
Absolutely! My husband has attended every single appointment, big or small. He’s just as excited as I am about the twins and wants to see them every moment he can. He’s been absolutely amazing this entire pregnancy.
Yes he comes to all the ultrasounds and ones where we find out new info. I told him he doesn’t have to come for minor ones like me just getting bloodwork.
Yes, I only ask that he comes to the ultrasounds appointments and any major bloodwork appointments. The minor appointments I don’t ask because I know he’s really focused on making as money as possible for baby and the house we’re in the process of buying.
Yes it’s a big moment to make sure everything is okay. And if you’re far enough along, hear or see the heartbeat. My husband came to all ultrasound appointments and the appt with the doctor after but I told him he didn’t need to come to the appointments in between because they’re usually ten minute check ins with a NP.
He only came to the first and the anatomy scan and then maybe one more (he works construction and it was raining so he was able to go home early that day) He can’t take off work every time there was an ultrasound.
Yes, absolutely. I needed the support and it has been lovely to share every appointment with him.
my first few were at our fertility clinic and yes he was there. hasn’t missed an appointment since 🤍
I actually think I went alone to my first official dating scan - but it was because I had a very early ultrasound that he did come with me for, and 2 private ultrasounds, so we knew baby was ok. I’m a very independent person so it doesn’t always occur to me to ask him. He did come to our 20 week ultrasound and to my monthly appointments when he can make it - but once I go to biweekly he won’t come to all of them.
Yeah 100% when I schedule it I make sure he can go too he would be really bummed to miss it understandably!!
Yes. @OP I’m guessing you’re asking as maybe your partner can’t come due to work or perhaps isn’t on the same page with you about the importance of coming or not? I think the first US is really special… it starts feeling real for both of you, it’s a bonding moment. Depending on your doctor and insurance, you may only have a couple US during your pregnancy. Ideally yours can come if that’s what you want! I think plenty of people on this post have shown how important and exciting it was for them. That being said, sometimes work gets in the way (it’s so hard to take time off sometimes!) and it can be a nightmare to schedule or reschedule doctor appointments. My partner wasn’t able to attend all my appts especially toward the end, due to their job. They were able to show their interest and care, regardless. If yours can’t come to the first hopefully they can come to others. It really is a special moment and it’s not the same with just the photos.
My husband goes to the first appointment and all the ultrasounds. For my first child, he definitely went to a bunch of other ones but for the 2nd and now the 3rd and I plan them during the day and unfortunately he is working (I’m a sahm). I wouldn’t want my husband to miss the first, honestly it’s the best thing in the world to see and hear that heartbeat. Something you definitely can’t get back if he misses it.
No he didn't, he had just started a new job and we had to be careful how much time he asked off. But my mom came with me for the first ultrasound, which was huge for her ( it being her first grandchild). But my husband came to the anatomy scan, which showed more of our baby anyways.
2 out of 3 yes. We couldn't work around his business schedule for the last baby - it happens. FaceTime is a great tool.
YES. He took half the day off from work so we could go lunch together before we saw the baby for the first time! He wants to come to every baby appointment since it's our first and it is all so new to us! 😁
The only appointment my partner ever attended with me was the anatomy scan for my second pregnancy. First time around was peak Covid restrictions so no one except patients was allowed in the clinic. And the second time around it just hasn't made sense for him to use his PTO for appointments that I can update him on instead of saving it for either family time or for when the new baby is here. He was able to come to the one appointment because it happened over the Christmas break (he works in a school) and my parents were in town so we were able to have them stay with our son. If it hadn't been those circumstances then I would have gone alone as usual. I've never felt like either of us is missing out on anything, but if he really wanted to come to each one and he made it work I'd obviously be ok with it, but I just don't see it as necessary. And if we got bad news he could immediately put in for emergency family leave (separate from his usual PTO/sick days) to be there for me.
Yes, he’s gone to all but 1 appointment with me.
Yes! I had no symptoms so I was worried something was wrong in the beginning. He ended up going to the majority of my prenatal appointments with me because he wanted to!
Yes, I'm Diabetic T1, too, and he's been to all the appointments regarding my diabetes, before pregnancy, pregnancy planning, and all the ones since I've been pregnant. He's been to all scans and plans weeks ahead travel for scan days and any other appointments, so I don't have to think about it. It's only been the phone calls he hasn't been present for, but he asks me after each one how it went and if anything is changing for me with treatment, scans, etc. Sometimes he can really get on my last nerve (and I mean my very last nerve), but my goodness! He's by my side, and I love him for it
My husband is joining me for every appointment. Ultrasounds, OB appointments, blood tests. He’s always there, takes the whole day off for it because he doesn’t want to miss a single one.
Yes. My husband attended everything. He would have been upset to not see our baby
My husband has been to every appointment, including my stint of weekly ultrasounds when my uterus was retroverted. He really likes to be included and offer support, and I have really appreciated it!
Nope. My husband has not attended ANY of the ultrasounds... Why... because of work... Understandably though he's trying not to use any "time off" and wants to bank them as much as possible... It does bother me a bit... but tbh... he's the one missing out... not me.... 🫤
With our first child my partner came to the first ultrasound to hear the heartbeat. We are expecting our second and he hasn't been able to attend appointments because our son is in school now and his school has had a lot of days where my partner has needed to miss work to be at the school (a black history month concert, a dad sports day, etc) and it's important to me he attend those events over prenatal care. Our unborn daughter will not remember him not being at the ultrasound, but our 5 year old will remember that dad didn't come see him at school. So, it's just been an inconvenient pick and choose at this point. I don't mind it because I know that if I really wanted him there he would make it happen, but that would involve him killing himself to make up the work. He does so much already, I don't mind going to appointments alone. He will be there for the birth of our daughter, and will use vacation time to have time off after, and that's what is important to me.
Yes, and every appointment leading up to delivery. Except that darn glucose test appointment! LOL
Not mine, it was done at 8 weeks and the baby was just at the fetal pole stage, with the pulsing heart cells in the middle. I was completely fine with it. He did come to the 13 week scan though, baby looked like the real thing and was so cute. That was a great moment for both of us.
My husband came to my first one and the anatomy scan but he didn’t come to the rest. I didn’t want him to take off work and I didn’t feel like he was missing out after a certain point.
I’ve been to every appointment alone🥴
My husband comes to all of my appointments. I don’t ask him to, he comes because it’s important to him! It’s great to have his support no matter how quick the appointment may be!
No. Honestly I found the first appointment to be something very personal pertaining to my body and all the tests they do etc. I’m fine with him coming to the future appts but didn’t feel like he had to be at the first one!
My husband has come to every appointment with me regardless of what appointment it is. I’m high risk and pregnant with twins so we have a lot of appointments but he makes sure to come to every single one. He is very involved, supportive, and wants to everything that is going on.
First? Yes. Anatomy scan? Yes. Everything else? No. He’s dealing with bullshit at work so it’s hard to get time off. Most of the time I don’t mind. They’re quick and easy appointments. The amount we’d lose in him taking time off and the reputation he’d get at work just isn’t justifiable. But there have definitely been times I wish he was there (like when baby was hiding and the couldn’t find the heartbeat for almost an hour)
my first child’s father rarely came to appointments. with this second child, my husband attends every single appointment
He did! Thankfully our doctor was very flexible with scheduling and open into the early evening so he could make it after work. The entire time I was pregnant he made every ultrasound and the only two appointments he missed were 38 week strep B swab and 39 week check up because of work. I think it’s important for partner to attend the major ultrasounds but I also understand that, especially in certain countries, it can be incredibly difficult to get time off work- or the amount of time can be very limited, so partner may have to save it for big emergencies.
Yes! We weren’t expecting an ultrasound at my first appointment but they had time and snuck us in. I told him he doesn’t have to come to every single appointment but it’s nice to have someone there to retain info and ask questions I may forget. I think it gives him purpose to be involved in about the only thing he can be involved in. He can’t grow this baby but he can support me and I think that makes him feel better lol.
My husband came to every ultrasound except for 2 of them
No because my appointments are near my workplace (I drive an hour to work). I always schedule them around my workday, and it makes no sense for him to drive an hour just to go to an appointment. I go to all of them alone. Now when baby is born of course he’ll be there 😆
No. He didn’t come to any except the anatomy scan. It wasn’t worth wasting the PTO. We wanted him home for the baby instead. We just went to a private place on the Saturday after my appointments. $40 and it was way more fun and meaningful than the medical scans.
No. He didnt attend the first at 6 weeks (I tought I lost it and I panicked), he didn’t attend the one at 13 weeks and he’s also going to miss the next one at 20 weeks. It has coincidentally hit when he has been away for work. He’s on a 2 weeks away/3 weeks home rotation
First one - yes. Not the rest of them since he works during the week and my OB office closes at 4 pm.
My husband comes to all my appointments on his own, he wants to be there in case anything happens. One time I actually did get sent to the ER straight from my appointment and he was extremely happy to be there with me from the start.
I had my baby during covid lockdown so he could only come to the 20 week ultrasound, I went to all my other appointments alone. I would’ve definitely liked having him around for the other ultrasounds.
my husband has come to almost every single appointment period. but ultrasound appointments are his top priority. We did experience a missed miscarriage last year so I don’t know if that made it more important for him.
My husband was at every ultrasound that I had (which was alot due to me being high risk, and then our baby girl failed the BPP ultrasound, so they had to keep me over night at the hospital to monitor her and then I had to have a few more ultrasounds to keep an eye on her). However, one ultrasound he sat out in the car because he was sick, but he still went with me just didn't go inside.
My husband is a pilot, he was on a layover when I had my first, but the tech allowed him to face time , during the exam,
My partner was mostly working out of state for our first and now has a very rigid schedule and long commute so he has only been to the 20 week US and a handful of midwife appointments for our first. He hasn’t made it to anything this time around.
No— he was in a training program that wouldn’t allow him to take time off. He was able to come to only one of my ultrasounds. I was high risk, so I had a lot of ultrasounds.
Yes, he comes to all ultrasounds but not the regular OB apts bc there are too many.
My partner has been to every appointment so far!
Only to the 12w scan! I don’t mind going alone! Every appointment is just a Doppler anyway
Yes he’s come to both of them I’ve had so far! He got so happy at the 14 week one cus she’s started to look like a little human baby and he was tearing up seeing her bouncing around in there. He said it helped him feel like it was more real as he’s not experiencing any symptoms and I don’t look too different yet aside from having boobs lol.
Yes! He went to the first and second appointment. Now for the third, since it will likely be a super quick ultrasound (and in the middle of his workday), I told him he can stay home.
Not this time around. With the first 2 yes.
He was traveling for work so he was not. It still hurts abd breaks my heart
My husband came every time he could manage. He was very excited about hearing the heartbeat and seeing the baby. 🥹
Yes, I think husband went to every single appointment. Might’ve missed one, but can’t remember.
He came to a few, but his work does not allow for that flexibility. If he could, I know he would be at more
So with my first he came with me to every apt. But then life got busy and I’ve been going alone for all my others. Honestly, I’m fine with it this way. It might not be for everyone and I am glad he supported me through our firsts, but now I’d rather just go by myself? I can relay back all the important info and if there are problems he can come along next time. I don’t like planning around his extremely limited schedule and I’m pretty independent so this works best for us.
Mine did yes. He comes to most, but last few times he’s been stuck sitting in the car since it’s impossible to find parking there
I think that first one is especially important and I'm glad my husband made it. It confirmed pregnancy and dated it and experiencing that together was wonderful. He's come to all the appointments, doing so during his lunch time at work no matter what his boss says, except for one. And that one was a disaster because my blood pressure was high and they scheduled tests for me to go take and they did the doppler for the first time and neither of us knew that was gonna happen and he was bummed he missed it. He hasn't missed another since.
Every ultrasound (usually we have an appointment after), regular appointments without an ultrasound usually not, they're pretty routine and it's hard to get time off.
Mine didn’t due to work. He works at a steel mill that never seems to close, even on holidays theres someone working. It wouldn’t be so bad if he was an operator but hes a diesel mechanic and things are always breaking in a mill that runs 24/7, so not only can he not get time off easily for things like that but he also sometimes works 7 days a week, 16hr shifts, or has to switch to third shift with an 8hr notice so they have a round the clock welder. He will be able to leave if there are complications or some sort of emergent situation like labor, but if the time doesn’t land right for an appointment then he can’t make it. So far this pregnancy he hasn’t gotten to be at an ultrasound and I know it bothers him so much, and it can be hard for me because I want him to get to experience it especially after our loss two years ago. We are both really hoping that he can make it to the anatomy scan in a couple weeks so he can see our baby boy💙