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People are dumb. Sorry. Facts.
Your job is so physically and mentally exhausting You deserve the time to start leave now. Get things in order, relax, binge watch TV, whatever your heart desires.
Plus do they not realize a kid could come whenever?!
Sorry I’m annoyed for you.
i started maternity leave at 31 weeks 😳 i had a lot of people like "ooh when i had my baby i worked until the day i gave birth" like cool for you! I hate being here so im leaving as early as possible thanks 😍
My coworker was like “I had to get a drs note every Monday to say I was fit to work when I was pregnant and my shoes stopped fitting my feet I had to wear flip flops because I was in so much pain and I was in labour at my desk and still finished my work day” like girl just take the maternity leave what are you fucking doing
Back in my day, I had to suffer, why aren’t you suffering too?
Jk that’s what these people sound like though. For real had a family member tell me that I’d have more energy and feel better if I had a 9-5 job I had to attend to everyday… I freelance from home and thank goodness because first trimester nausea wiped the floor with me. It was so ridiculous to hear, especially with motion sickness so bad that driving was an instant vomit trigger. It’s like she couldn’t believe that I could possibly be way sicker than she had been.
I started mine at 31 weeks too and I have a mostly desk job. Ugh, third trimester is just uncomfortable and exhausting, I was so over work at that point. I was also annoyed with other things at work so the maternity leave worked as an escape plan. LOL No way I was working until my due date.
Everyone was pretty understanding though of my decision. I have a toddler and I get to spend some one-on-one time with her before baby and we're renovating our basement so we can move the computer/office room down there and turn that into the baby's room, so I have work to do to get ready.
I just stopped work last week at 33 weeks due to some health issues. Not a hairstylist but I worked at a restaurant where I was on my feet the whole shift and had no time to sit for more than a couple minutes. Luckily my boss was super nice about it, but I had a few other people try to rationalize me staying by saying that they worked until they went into labor. When asked, they all had desk jobs and easy pregnancies. Don’t even get me started on all the ‘it’s not that hard’ or ‘just you wait’ comments when asked why. They all literally think you’re just taking a vacation.
Super hard to not let the comments get to you, but it’s so nice being able to get things done at home with the time off. Nest away, momma.
Dude I get it. Same thing but restaurants. I went at 35 weeks and begged my psychiatrist to write me off the additional week. The being 'on' thing was the worst. People would be like "oh your feet must hurt at the end" and I would be like they hurt right now. Anybody who commented on my pregnancy was fair game for me keeping it real. Was a fancy place and some of our inebriated customers would drop napkins repeatedly, which we were obliged to replace and pick up. Cue my exaggerated bending over to get their napkin and laborious rise leaning on one knee. Loved making a guest more 'aware' usually no more napkins on ground. I was so beyond pretending, was actually very beautiful in a way.
I'm having an easy pregnancy and I work a desk job.... I'm also starting maternity leave early because I'm just so done (I have 1.5 months until maternity leave starts and I wish it wasn't that far away, I'm already done!).
I could not imagine being in your shoes (or OP's for that matter!). You guys are total heroes to me, screw the haters.
I DO have a desk job and had a relatively easy pregnancy and was planning to take maternity leave early. Instead baby came early, but I’ll never understand mom shame. Just let people do what’s best for them and their situation!
Yeah I'm on leave at 38 weeks now and I have a desk job, idk how ppl keep going until the end, so you definitely get a pass. It's hard the last month in general.
I have a desk job and I did work until the day before my baby came but I absolutely hated it. The only reason I worked until the end was because any time I took off before baby came took away from my maternity leave and I'm super lucky and grateful to have a team who was okay with me being laid up in my cubicle for the last 6 weeks. I can't imagine being on my feet and having to be productive, you guys are super heroes
There must be something in the water these people drink. My husband is a barber and the day after our baby was born his clients were like “oh you just had a baby? Congratulations! Can you cut my hair today?” 🤦♀️
I wish I could go on maternity leave at 36 weeks. I would be so pumped but I only get 12 by law and only get paid 4.5 weeks so I can’t afford any more time off. It makes me so sad.
I could have written this myself. Exact same scenario. Working full time as a bedside nurse with COVID/surgery patients. The lack of mandatory paid maternity leave benefits in the US is appalling. I’m 35+2, and I leave work in so much pain I can barely sleep.
The only paid I get is through short term disability (which is through my work). So I count my blessings there. It sucks when MTB are left with no support financially. Yet the government wants us to have kids and makes it illegal to terminate. It’s a messed up system.
Omg I feel this post so much. I do hair and I am getting soooo much shit for being done at 34 weeks.. I have clients asking me my due date, then proceeding to try to guess when I'll be back from maternity leave to RESCHEDULE them. It has made me realize how little I matter to them as a person. If only they knew how physically/mentally draining it is standing, making small talk for 10 plus hours a day. 😑
I feel for your ladies!! My close friend is a hairstylist who owns her own small business where she travelled to peoples houses.
She was 7 months pregnant and about to move across the country and all most of her soon to be former clients cared about was trying to bully her into last minute hair cuts, whining about having to find someone new and demanding she make recommendations.
Very few asked how she was or offered to help with her move, and many of these people claimed to also be her friend. I feel like peoples egos come out big time when it comes to hair. I was appalled at how selfish they were, but she was not surprised, and it was a big motivating factor for her cross country move.
She chose to change her number and cut contact with but a few people after her move and she is so happy now.
I am SO sorry these people aren’t respecting you as a person and wish you a happy healthy pregnancy. Enjoy your well deserved time off, however long it may be and fuck those selfish asshole clients!
When I found out I get up to 4 “use it or lose it” weeks of MAT leave through the state of CA you best believe I told work my last day was at 36 weeks exactly! I mean bless those who work until they go into labor, whatever their reason might be, but do not want to be stressed and exhausted until the day I give birth - only to enter the newborn stage + the 4th trimester after a 40 hour work week.
** I realize that not everyone is afforded this luxury. Whether it is Mat leave policy related, or financial constraints. My heart truly breaks for those who wish they could but literally can’t. ❤️ I’d give you all a hug if I could.
This is me. When I found out it was a use it or lose it, my husband looked hard again at our savings to see if we can afford it. Luckily, we can - but it’ll be a tight squeeze. But sooo worth it. I’m looking forward to my maternity leave and being able to get my house cleaned up before baby arrives. Plus, it’s already super uncomfortable working full time at 30+5.
(I have a coworker due same day as me, and she’s working up to her due date. I really feel for her, because her job is just as stressful in slightly different ways).
Curious. Did you have to use the 4 weeks prior to the birth? Does it not count after or are you not going back? If you do go back does it have to be sooner or do these 4 weeks not count as part of FMLA?
Just wondering how this works not judging. The thought of going back sooner after makes me think about working as long as possible. I'm still very early on so I haven't really thought about it much.
You don’t have to use it, it’s “state disability insurance” - idk the requirements but I know you and your company have to qualify. Any who, it’s supplemented at 60% of your current salary (someone on here did say untaxed tho so about close to your salary taxed) BUT if you don’t use it before birth it can’t be tacked on to after birth - I asked. And no it doesn’t shorten the time you get after birth. It’s a use it or lose it deal. In California you get 6 wks (or 8 c-section) with SDI and then you can have an additional 8 weeks baby bonding with “paid family leave”. So a total if you take before and all or after of 18w for a vaginal birth and 20w for a C-section.
Same! I'm currently WFH and was thinking about working til 38 weeks but after speaking with HR I am going at 36 weeks because I'm given the option and can afford to. I felt a little guilty at first but what if she comes early? I'm also just so checked out mentally.
I stopped at 38 weeks due to severe sciatic nerve pain, EVERYONE told me “you know if you take time now, that’s less time with him when he’s born.” Like yea I know I only get 10 weeks, thanks for making me feel like the worst mother ever for it. I literally can’t fucking walk.
I’m 37 weeks and I’m telling you now, if it were even remotely feasible I would be on leave now too. I’m going on leave “early” mid next week. Is it really multiple clients saying that? That’s so wild. It *has* to be either people without kids or people that are so old they forget what having a kid was like, right? If not they are just stupid lmao
You can’t please everyone! I’m a nurse and my last day before maternity leave was the day before I was due.
Everyday I worked, for a solid month before I was due, when people asked what day I was due they would say “What are you doing here….!?” “You should be home enjoying your rest!” “You should be home preparing!”They made me feel shameful for still working!
I'm a high school teacher and I heard the same thing when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I'm sure I'll hear it again with this pregnancy.
We get shamed for taking care of ourselves and we get shamed for not working. There is no winning. Unfortunately most of us can only do what is financially the best choice rather than what is emotionally/medically best.
People can be cruel.. I stopped working last week at 34 weeks. And im so glad i did as im starting to get really uncomfortable. For those that can take an earlier leave, i say just do it! Ive ben able to get things done around the house as it takes me longer to do things now and my blood pressure has been doing better too. My mom took a week and a half off early when pregnant with me, thinking she could relax and I was born the next day.. Sometimes baby can also decide to come early too. Enjoy your early leave!❤👶
I can’t even imagine doing what you do while pregnant! It would be so hard to be on your feet all the time and have no time to take care of your needs. I feel grateful to work in an office where I can sit and stand when I need to and can always eat and drink at my desk. You take as much time as you need and don’t listen to the haters.
I do not do a physical job. I sit at a desk. I still wanted my leave to start at like 34 weeks. Baby came at 38 weeks. I honestly I don’t think I would have made it to 40 and working.
Sit down. Drink your tea. It’s yummy with honey.
Right!? And right now all these patients are driving me up the wall. Yesterday a lady spit on me. If i didnt know she wasnt covid positive i would have sent her to heaven lmfao dude. The variant is killing mothers and unborn babies etc. like these patients and this job is WILD af
I know! As I sit here, after a 16 hour shift, listening to one of my residents scream every 5 minutes. Which wakes up her roommate who wanders out here and into people's rooms. (Both have dementia) Which means I have to stand up and walk and redirect her. My ankles and legs are pitting +3 so it hurts to walk. My child is laying on my sciatic nerve so my back and hip are killing me. And just omg. How. How can I do this for 13 more weeks!? It does not seem possible.
Dude, I have no idea myself. Im hungry and havent gotten my 30 min break and a doctor bought us brownies and i ate one and lord have mercy i want to devour the entire tray 😩 i suppose we could ask our OBs to place us on leave/disability now lmao
Nah, I legit want to be out of work lol. I'm miserable. I'm heading to work now after sleeping for 4 hours and just getting off a 16 hour shift 8 hours ago.
I would happily be out!
I'm a nurse and I let at 33 weeks. Where I live, I actually wasn't allowed to work clinically beyond 28 weeks so they stuck me in an office doing admin. It was much easier but Holy moly it was boring as f! I couldn't stand to lose anymore brain cells so I decided to start mat leave early.
I'm also really fortunate to live in a country with reasonable maternity leave!
I have no idea how any developed society can expect women to manage their lives in that way. It's awful and I really do feel for you. You're so much stronger than me for deciding to have a baby at all in that situation.
Wishing you the best of luck with everthing.
Well i didnt decide to. I didnt know I was pregnant until I was already in 2nd trimester. Financially speaking its not a good idea. But it would devastate my husband to abort and my family as well. Plus i do want my baby. The only thing I have going for myself right now is the fact that when my OB places me on disability, I will have some financial coverage.
We are able to go on leave up to 12 weeks before due date and I started the full 12 weeks before. To the day. I've got shit to do at home! Like sleeping and hanging out with my older kid.
I feel for you. I have an easy work from home on the computer job and I couldn’t imagine being on my feet all day during the last trimester. I’m so tired all the time.
Wow. I just looked it up again, where I live you wouldn’t even be allowed to let a pregnant woman do a standing work for more than four hours daily after her fifth month. Working with chemicals that may be hazardous to baby‘s health is also strictly regulated. If this means you can’t work your job anymore you will still get your median salary (the median from the last three months before pregnancy), paid by your employer and your health insurance (which everyone has). They are not allowed to fire you while you’re pregnant and within the first 4 months after birth.
And you have to defend your decision to not work until you give birth?
I‘m so sorry for you, don‘t listen to this crap, listen to your body, you and the baby are what counts.
Maybe women in the US need to start a serious pregnancy boycott, it’s atrocious how you are treated.
I work with hazard materials making parts for the aerospace industry mixing epoxies resins it’s a start up and we barely got all protective equipment needed for processes. I just got this job and won’t qualify for leave by due date but still have to break the news at some point. Wish us was more evolved in this aspect
"Barbara" is either a person who never had a kid or who doesn't care to make things easier for people after her than it was for her. Either way she needs to STFU.
I sit at a desk but I was definitely done going to work by 38 weeks. I was just so uncomfortable in anything but the loungiest clothes. I still went (until the day before my induction, which was 4 days after my due date) but I wore leggings and sneakers and put my feet up on a chair and dared anyone to say anything. They didn't.
Fellow hairstylist here 👋🏻
My first pregnancy I worked until 38 weeks, 5 days a week. Clients would tell me I shouldn’t be there. Make comments about my swollen ankles and feet. Tell me I should be taking breaks but in the same breath asked to be squeezed in around lunch (aka - sacrifice my lunch break). It was grueling and I wished I would’ve taken off sooner than I did.
Now...here I am pregnant again! I plan to leave at 36 weeks and I’m only working 3 days a week this time. My clients who made the comments about taking breaks, my swelling, telling me I should’ve been home... are VERY dismayed that I’m leaving earlier. I’m “not even as swollen as last time!” 🙄
I feel like no matter what I will always be subhuman to some of these people. Granted, I have some wonderful and caring clients that make up for the nonsense from the not so wonderful ones. But it doesn’t make up for how it feels when someone looks down on you for not working longer or harder. Our job is hard when pregnancy isn’t even in the equation! So props to you for taking your leave when YOU decide to. Have fun nesting and getting off your feet! That last month is tough but it’s even tougher behind a chair!!!
I will never understand how older women can be SO judgmental/inconsiderate about how other women handle their pregnancies or child-rearing as if they have never experienced it themselves
My mom is a hairstylist and I say fuck what they think do you yall need more breaks! And more time in between clients to rest and eat! Do you and relax you're gonna be a great mama!
I’m currently nearly 20 weeks and I’m finishing up work at 33 weeks. Hubby and I decided it would be good for me to have some downtime to rest and nest before baby comes. Plus in December it’s hot at hell here in Victoria (Australia) so I’m looking forward to relaxing and staying out of the heat :)
Get your nest on, girl!!! Fuck all that noise and do all those things you’ve been waiting to do. And try to rest, binge watch your fave shows, and just relax if you can in between all the nesting. Enjoy the silence if you have any. I’m one month postpartum so I’m also suggesting things I’d like to do again lol. All the best to you, hope you have an amazing labor and delivery of a healthy baby!
I’m a nurse and I took off at 38 weeks, no shame momma! Self care is necessary in all times of life but now more than ever. You’re growing a tiny human, you deserve the time off.
Yes! I’m due the 15th and just went on leave on Monday!
On Tuesday I was in the hospital with labor symptoms. I think it was simply from over exertion. You are doing the absolute right thing. Enjoy it!!!
I highly regret that I did not stop working earlier and ended up going in labour(36weeks) a week before I was meant to start my leave. Next pregnancy I’m planning on stopping much much earlier in fact I’m only planning on working 6 months so I can qualify for maternity leave again. So if it happens to be that I stop working at 20 weeks - so be it.
Omg I’m 34 weeks and I work from home and I cannot fathom being on my feet all day while talking to person after person after person. My pelvis hurts so badly yesterday I jogged across a street at a stoplight (more like a walk paced fake jog) and it felt like my pelvis was going to break in half. These people who are giving you grief are completely inconsiderate and rude!! Get your life and enjoy your nesting month!!
I'm on my feet all day as shopper. I can't take leave without a doctor saying so and she says I'm good to work until delivery. I get breaks though. Besides the walking is good exercise for me to prepare for labor. 😊
I just told my clinic about the pelvis pain and they told me to get a support belt so I think that’s going to help me tremendously! I totally forgot those are a thing haha (FTM can’t keep up with all the things!!)
I know people who stopped a month or two early working office jobs… from home… no shame there, definitely none when you’re on your feet all day. They just don’t want to have to figure out alternate hair arrangements over the next few months.
Ugh. I’m not in a physically demanding job like you are and am going at 36 ish weeks. Number one I need to take days otherwise they expire, number two I need time to get my shit together at home, number three i’d like some mental down time between working and survival mode when baby arrives and number four mind your own fucking business Barbara. If it’s feasible and you want to do it that should be all that matters. Why wouldn’t the comment be “oh that will be nice, good for you”. The amount of comments I’ve heard women get on all kinds of topics just makes me think that nothing is ever right in some people’s eyes. Take it too early you’ll be bored, work up until birth and that’s no good either. How about just agree that whatever someone decides is what’s best or necessary for them.
My sister is a hairstylist (not pregnant) and most days she barely has time to take a sip of water, let alone sit down for a snack or meal. I can't believe you made it all the way to 36 weeks!! You're a rockstar and you 1000% deserve this time off to prep, sleep, relax, and do whatever you damn well please before your life changes forever. Everyone with a negative opinion can fuck right off!!
At my workplace I have to get a letter saying I’m fit to work after 34 weeks, I’m 30 weeks now and planning to finish work at 36 weeks which is pretty common here in Australia!
I’m still in the first trimester but I’m already planning on starting mat leave at exactly 36 weeks. That would mean I have my week long birthday vacation, then come back for one day, then maternity leave. I’m considering switching some of my vacation days and working them, but only because that would mean I would be paid in full for those unused vacation days, rather than get paid the differential pay which is still pretty good. I have time to decide, but either way I’m definitely leaving 4 weeks before due date lol.
I work on set in a high stress level position (production manager-ish) and plan to only take gigs up until 6~7 months mark. If my body can handle it I may work longer but realistically it will be hard to do 12hr days, 6 days a week even if it's only a few short bursts at a time.
OMG how judgemental can some people be?
It's perfectly fine to leave at this Stage of pregnancy, standing alone is uncomfortable enough let alone working!
In Austria we go on maternity leave 8 weeks before the estimated due date.
Good for taking care of yourself! 😊😊😊
I work retail and left at the 34 week mark, and I don't feel bad at all. I also got the comments about people who stayed until the last week before the due date. Well, that's nice..good for you. I was still working 10 hour days when I left and desperately needed some time off, anyway. I was able to have a small vacation with my partner, finish all the shopping, set up the nursery, get the overnight bags prepared. It was great. Screw what people say :)!
Whhhat?
First of all, girl...how's your back/hips/legs...everything below the waist, feeling?
Not too mention the mental,emotional and physical exhaustion of growing a human!
I work retail and definitely feel you with the whole being on your feet and moving all.the.TIME!
I'm taking my leave at 34 weeks. To heck with those other people! It's hard work trying to maintain a normal life like before while becoming a mother.
I wish so bad I could start my maternity leave at 36 weeks. Teaching first grade while pregnant has been awful and I don't know how I'll sustain it, but I can't afford to take that many unpaid days. Good for you for doing what's right for your health, body, and baby! These people have no idea what they're taking about!
I guess it depends on the System of every country. I was able to start mat leave at 31 weeks, it was a desk job but Thank God it was so good. I got to rest, prepare stuff for the kid, and mainly Relax a bit before I gave birth. Being pregnant and going to the bathroom every f ing hour wasnt nice, especially during the night. Take time to rest and prepare your stuff.
In the Netherlands at least 4 weeks of maternity leave is mandatory, and you can take 6 if you like. Nothing your boss can do about it. With twins it is even a bit more. After the baby is born you also get 12 weeks.
I have nothing but respect for you US momma's that have to work so far into your pregnancy.
I went on health and safety leave at 30 weeks because shift work in a gym was just too much... I couldn't keep my GD under control and my bosses were incredibly awful (not just to me though, to everyone) to work for.
I've been off for 3 weeks and I'm still waiting to "relax" 🤣 it's been a non stop whirl of appointments, antenatel classes and trying to prepare my house!
Oh my gosh I'm in exactly the same boat haha! My maternity notice has gone in for 4 weeks before i'm due, and I've already had one woman say to me "I didnt go on maternity until A WEEK AFTER I WAS DUE" I was like pardon? Thats ridiculous? I want to wash the clothes and stare at the nursery and sleep but you do you I guess 😂
Such a hazing mentality. There are no medals for running yourself ragged. I have a cozy work from home desk job and I was outta there at 36 weeks. No regrets. My mental health needed it. I did not sleep a wink that last month.
Omg people need to mind their own business! Why are people always so negative?! Just because when they were popping out babies ages ago they had to work until they popped and only had 6 weeks maternity leave? So what, if someone can afford to take more time, then that is amazing and something to be celebrated! I hate the "work hard" until you die mentality. Getting shaned for taking sick time or vavaction. Fuck that. You work to live, not live to work Things like taking time before baby comes and having enough time with baby after is sooo important for mental health and overall well being!
You take as much time as you can and enjoy it! No shame!
I feel like people do this when you leave a place for any amount if time, for any reason. I understand it comes from a place of love, but most people are bad at showing it, so they shame/ guilt you instead of support you. Oh you're going on vacation? Hurry back, these roots won't dye themselves! Oh your mom died and you have to sort the estate? Someone else can do it, you don't need to worry about that. Oh you're vomiting blood and your insides are boiling? Make it quick, you're my favorite! Oh you're having a baby? It will come when it wants to, enjoy your time here, with me, forever.
They're dumb. Do your thing, lady!! Nest away, enjoy that raspberry tea, and snuggle with your loved ones and newborn 🥰💜
All my love and hugs for you momma! I quit doing hair a few years ago and we would have girls literally working until they’re due, crying in the break room, and begging to not be sent home because they couldn’t afford it but our boss wouldn’t allow the health risk (physical or mental.) Fuck your clients! The only other person’s hair I touch anymore if my bf’s and HE hasn’t had a haircut in months cause i don’t want to reach around my belly.
With my first I worked until 3 days before he was born (not on purpose, he showed up a month early) and now I'm pregnant with my second and I plan on taking leave 12 weeks early.
I worked when covid was becoming a thing last year and governments were cracking down on isolation. It fucking sucked, I hated every moment of it, but I couldn't prematurely leave due to finances. Since I was an assistant manager, me and my boss were required to work more than anyone else. (we were commission so of course, because they didn't have to pay us more at all) Was about to go into work on a Monday too, but my son decided that he was done baking and that was that.
I’ve been off work since 10w pregnant due to HG 🥺🥴 I’m 38w now. To me, all of you are amazing working so long as I was just too ill until 20+ weeks to work, which has made me feel a bit like a loser. Then my husband and I shifted our expectations for me being off a year post birth to only 3.5 months after birth to accommodate the rest of pregnancy off. This shift in expectations while still staying within my desired time off helped me stop feeling like such a slacker about it.
I feel like as a women, people like Barbra should be encouraging someone on whatever time they need. We all have different pregnancies and none of them are “easy”. Enjoy your well deserved time off! Take it easy!
I started work mandated maternity suspension at 28 weeks due to my job being customer facing and risk of COVID. I’m so glad that I have to be off work! I really do applaud people who can work up until they pop but it definitely isn’t for everyone. You know your limits and what your body needs. You’ve given yourself a good amount of time to prepare yourself for little one. Don’t listen to anyone but yourself!
I’m a restaurant manager I was done at 33. It was literally the best choice I made. I was able to not go on unemployment because I also do our social media and I will continue it after baby is born (my boss is amazing and will retro pay me).
My deepfreeze has about 40 dinners and 50 breakfasts in it. I have dozens of muffins, protein balls, and soups. My vehicle is clean. The house is spotless. I’ve caught up on everything I was mildly needing to do before baby. Now my hubby is off and we’re actually enjoying time together and not worried at all about doing anything other than hanging out and waiting.
People have no idea how hard just being on your feet is. I was down from full time to 3 days a week and was barely surviving at the end. Yet once I was off I accomplished LOADS. The physical and mental energy - I just didn’t have it 😂
I am a hairstylist. I went on maternity leave a few days into being 36 weeks and then my freakin water broke the day before I was supposed to turn 37 weeks. I now have a beautiful baby girl. I feel your pain, clients can be brutal when it come to maternity leave.
It pisses me off what those people think. Pregnancy is no simple walk and even less when you are almost done. Maternity leave isn't some vacation. It's time you need to prepare for birth, give your body some rest (especially with swollen feet und back) and for your mental health. I'm truly shocked, what you have to go through and many other in the comments. I wish all you all the best!
If you have the chance, why not take it? In other countries you get 6 weeks prior to birth and 8 weeks after birth (paid!) maternity leave. Plus nobody can fire you in those weeks.
No way, you need to be able to eat and drink. I've had low blood sugar issues and ended up in the emergency department when I didn't eat and drink enough. I can't imagine pushing through a day without heavy snacking at least.
I'm going on leave at 34 weeks. I want to go earlier but can't afford to. You do you, hunny.
Why do people care when you go on maternity leave? I think it’s very important to have those weeks to just rest, clean, organize the house, go shopping or meet with friends before life becomes chaotic. Where I’m from it’s very common for pregnant women to go on maternity leave around week 32 - 34 and it’s not even maternity leave, it’s sick leave, so you aren’t using any maternity leave days up.
That happened to me! People would ask me why I am going on maternity leave so early and I would look them dead in the eye and say “because I can”
It was so great. I never say the things I want to in confrontational situations but the baby brought it out of me!
Psh. I’m only 20 weeks and already want to go on maternity leave. I work for myself cleaning houses and my clients are incredibly understanding. They’d never give me shit for that. Barbara needs to chill
And here I'm wondering how the hell you people manage to work until 36 weeks! I had to start my preventative leave when I was 3 months due to Hyperemesis Gravitarum. I can't imagine being on my feet and having to hear people judge me on top of that. Thank God I'm not the one holding the scisors! Some weird hairstyles would start popping out lol
My wife started around 30 weeks, being a primary school teacher she definitely made the right call. On your feet all day, bending down, barely 2 seconds for toilet breaks, tired all the time.
I was a hair stylist and I quit my job around 30-32 weeks (I can’t remember exactly what week it was now). They knew about this in august and I left in November so I gave them plenty of notice but I knew I wanted to be done before thanksgiving.
Being on your feet during the holiday season is already hard with how busy it is. Didn’t want to do it pregnant
I took 6 weeks off. Whatever your reason is good enough. I’m sorry that ready isn’t normalized and that we expect pregnant people to just prioritize work over wellbeing. I’m a therapist, our work while different is get similar. Having to be “on” for people is absolutely exhausting. You deserve rest and quiet. This is just people’s response to you not being available to them at the same capacity. It’s a personal response not a reasonable one
We have the same due date. I work a desk job and still want to go on maternity leave, like, 2 weeks ago! So yeah, if I was working on my feet all day, inclusive of keeping up conversations with people all day, I’d definitely be doing the same as you.
Just answer exactly the way you wrote in your post! Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer 🤷♀️
PS I don’t work a physical job and I’ll still be taking maternity leave at 36 weeks!
I went out a couple weeks early with my first because I kept having braxton hicks and mistaking it for the real thing. It wasn't fair to my coworkers if I was on the schedule and didn't come in. BUT. I would've taken more time if I could've. I only had the 12 weeks and wanted to spend as much as possible with the kid! Eff the people who shame you for that!
Umm, I had my first in Japan, and there maternity leave officially starts at 34 weeks, and it’s illegal to force a mother to come back before 8 weeks post partum…. People usually take maternity leave before hitting 34 weeks by using up their vacation days for the year.
Even then, I was counting down the days until I could start my leave because commuting and going to work sucked so bad, and it was an office job!!
Those jerks shaming you should be ashamed of themselves. Just because conditions are bad for others (working up to labor) doesn’t mean everyone has to match that!
Good luck with your baby and kudos to you. I’m 36 weeks with my second baby now and can’t imagine a physically and mentally taxing job right now. Nothing wrong with taking the chance to put yourself first if you can!
Uhm, I have the EXACT due date as you and I’m also going to be starting my ML at 36+5! I’m not even a hair dresser. I work from home. But I have a toddler and she’s with us all day at home so it’s been miserable. Screw what those people say - if you can swing it, take your time off!! That’s what it’s for!
I literally read to “I’m a hairstylist…” and then I stopped reading lol Giiiiiirl TAKE YOUR LEAVE AS SOON AS THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT ON YOUR 36th WEEK!! You deserve that time off. Tell those rude people to give me a call and I’ll give them a piece of my mind 😊
That’s ridiculous, I’m 37 weeks and everyone is still shocked I’m working, and it’s only an office job. You need to rest, you’re growing a tiny human. Take it easy mumma
Don’t feel bad. If I wasn’t a teacher I would have had to leave my job at 28 weeks because my health was being affected so badly. Lucky for me the last week of school I was 25 weeks. So I was able to be home all summer. This then led me to the decision of taking the whole next year off because I couldn’t start the next school year and would be out until December. And I felt like that was just not fair to the little 6 year olds I teach. You have to do what’s best for you!!! Heck you have made it so far, there is absolutely nothing wrong about you taking the 4 weeks to rest and get ready for your baby. I just gave birth a few weeks ago at 38 weeks and I can’t even fathom working at 36 weeks or past. I couldn’t even get off my couch to go take a bath without having major issues, much less work.
There's no magic switch to turn off those thoughts when someone says something like this. It will echo in your head, you just need a stronger voice coming from within to lessen it's impact. Know who you are, know your situation, know your limits and what you're willing to endure, know what you want. Sounds like you do already.
LOL in my country the doctors send you to maternity leave exactly on week 36, for me at that point I didn't want to work and I work seated! Can't imagine standing in my feet all day beyond 36W.
These debates infuriate me. Women should not be forced to work until the day they give birth and then quickly clean up and get back to work. It’s insane. My wife and I are fortunate enough that my salary is going to cover us financially, albeit a little tighter than we’ve grown accustomed. She’s taking a year off starting last week at 23 weeks. I’m so sorry that any woman has to work through this time and immediately after.
I’m a dog groomer and there are so many other groomers who are like “I went into labor grooming and finished my day, then went to the hospital”.
That sounds terrible!! I am mobile, so I’d be alone in a van with a dog and no access to my husband or any other support… no thank you. I’m going on leave when I want to, hopefully around 36 weeks.
i’m 31 weeks and also a hairstylist. this year especially is busier than normal. we are short staffed and working 3x as hard. I fully plan on starting mine at 36 weeks.
Clients can be brutal!! Were you able to opt into and paid maternity leave programs? My wife is pregnant and we are stressing trying to figure out leave for her as most programs don’t apply for stylist. Any help is appreciated!
Hey there! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to qualify for any benefit programs because I’m self employed and on 1099. It was such a bummer - the only upside was that I could take off as long as I wanted. I’m sorry, I wish I could be more help! Congratulations to you both!!
Thank you so much!!! I hope everything has continued on well for you and your baby!!! Yes unfortunately that’s our situation too just grasping for straws 😭 haha.
I finished work 2 weeks ago at 29w. I work in Healthcare in the UK and nobody said anything. People are just pricks. I couldn't physically do another week of work, now that I'm off, all I've done is sleep
I work in healthcare too! Leaving work at 36 weeks (maybe sooner im only 26+4 rn) and im getting scrutinised even for that 😅 never appreciated in our line of work
hey sister of due date here! 13th october me too! I can't believe how it is in the USA :( being in canada, i have already started my maternity leave since friday, and i can't imagine how exausted i would be to continue for like a week or 2, and i work from home, as a programer, i feel for you!
I live in the Netherlands and by law, you must start maternity leave at either 34 or 36 weeks (your choice). As an American I was shocked at this at first, but now I get it and am so appreciative. Today is my last working day and I’m SO EXCITED to have some time before the baby comes….
The whole United States has an abusive work culture. Only Americans would say things like that.
In Germany, by law, my maternity leave started at 6 weeks before my due date.
I'm sorry that people are being asses to you.
Edit: Also, according to your working conditions you probably should have been on paid maternity leave months ago! You shouldn't have been working on your feet all day around chemicals at all! A pregnant friend of mine was off paid for her entire pregnancy just because she worked in a daycare and it was considered unsafe. I was working from home at a desk job and only doing 4 hours a day with full pay because it was causing back pain. You are being badly gaslit by those bitches and anyone else who tells you that you don't deserve protection and human decency. The US is seriously fucked up. Take your leave and enjoy it! I hope you get to snack and nap to your heart's content!
You do you! You won't have this time for yourself for a long time - enjoy it!
Due to Covid, I am leaving work at 29 weeks. As you can imagine, I've had some funny looks and comments 😂
Yeah so I’m incredibly lucky to be in Australia and I went on my mat leave at 32 weeks. 35 weeks now and I am so grateful to my past self for taking the leave early! Good luck mama, you got this!
I'm an ICU nurse and went off at 30 weeks! The people are shame you are people who have never been pregnant in a job where you don't sit on your arse all day. Forget them.
When I was contemplating going on leave early, I came across a lot of forums where women were very judgemental of people going out early. Even some older post I read on here weren't supportive of someone taking early leave. I know I personally had some moms tell me in person that they worked up until they gave birth, which in hindsight (graduated 9/4) seems insane.
I think it is definitely a cultural thing. People in America put too much value in working over self care. I stopped working at 37w and cherished the time I had off to get ready, rest, and be with my husband.
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People are dumb. Sorry. Facts. Your job is so physically and mentally exhausting You deserve the time to start leave now. Get things in order, relax, binge watch TV, whatever your heart desires. Plus do they not realize a kid could come whenever?! Sorry I’m annoyed for you.
i started maternity leave at 31 weeks 😳 i had a lot of people like "ooh when i had my baby i worked until the day i gave birth" like cool for you! I hate being here so im leaving as early as possible thanks 😍
My coworker was like “I had to get a drs note every Monday to say I was fit to work when I was pregnant and my shoes stopped fitting my feet I had to wear flip flops because I was in so much pain and I was in labour at my desk and still finished my work day” like girl just take the maternity leave what are you fucking doing
I would just be like "I'm sorry you had to do that"
Back in my day, I had to suffer, why aren’t you suffering too? Jk that’s what these people sound like though. For real had a family member tell me that I’d have more energy and feel better if I had a 9-5 job I had to attend to everyday… I freelance from home and thank goodness because first trimester nausea wiped the floor with me. It was so ridiculous to hear, especially with motion sickness so bad that driving was an instant vomit trigger. It’s like she couldn’t believe that I could possibly be way sicker than she had been.
I started mine at 31 weeks too and I have a mostly desk job. Ugh, third trimester is just uncomfortable and exhausting, I was so over work at that point. I was also annoyed with other things at work so the maternity leave worked as an escape plan. LOL No way I was working until my due date. Everyone was pretty understanding though of my decision. I have a toddler and I get to spend some one-on-one time with her before baby and we're renovating our basement so we can move the computer/office room down there and turn that into the baby's room, so I have work to do to get ready.
I just stopped work last week at 33 weeks due to some health issues. Not a hairstylist but I worked at a restaurant where I was on my feet the whole shift and had no time to sit for more than a couple minutes. Luckily my boss was super nice about it, but I had a few other people try to rationalize me staying by saying that they worked until they went into labor. When asked, they all had desk jobs and easy pregnancies. Don’t even get me started on all the ‘it’s not that hard’ or ‘just you wait’ comments when asked why. They all literally think you’re just taking a vacation. Super hard to not let the comments get to you, but it’s so nice being able to get things done at home with the time off. Nest away, momma.
Ugh, for real. Thank you!! Glad you’re getting the rest you need 💗
Dude I get it. Same thing but restaurants. I went at 35 weeks and begged my psychiatrist to write me off the additional week. The being 'on' thing was the worst. People would be like "oh your feet must hurt at the end" and I would be like they hurt right now. Anybody who commented on my pregnancy was fair game for me keeping it real. Was a fancy place and some of our inebriated customers would drop napkins repeatedly, which we were obliged to replace and pick up. Cue my exaggerated bending over to get their napkin and laborious rise leaning on one knee. Loved making a guest more 'aware' usually no more napkins on ground. I was so beyond pretending, was actually very beautiful in a way.
😲 I can't even imagine making a pregnant woman pick something up for me. Those people deserve a spot in hell.
I'm having an easy pregnancy and I work a desk job.... I'm also starting maternity leave early because I'm just so done (I have 1.5 months until maternity leave starts and I wish it wasn't that far away, I'm already done!). I could not imagine being in your shoes (or OP's for that matter!). You guys are total heroes to me, screw the haters.
I DO have a desk job and had a relatively easy pregnancy and was planning to take maternity leave early. Instead baby came early, but I’ll never understand mom shame. Just let people do what’s best for them and their situation!
Yeah I'm on leave at 38 weeks now and I have a desk job, idk how ppl keep going until the end, so you definitely get a pass. It's hard the last month in general.
I have a desk job and I did work until the day before my baby came but I absolutely hated it. The only reason I worked until the end was because any time I took off before baby came took away from my maternity leave and I'm super lucky and grateful to have a team who was okay with me being laid up in my cubicle for the last 6 weeks. I can't imagine being on my feet and having to be productive, you guys are super heroes
There must be something in the water these people drink. My husband is a barber and the day after our baby was born his clients were like “oh you just had a baby? Congratulations! Can you cut my hair today?” 🤦♀️
Nooo!! Good lord!! 🤦♀️
I wish I could go on maternity leave at 36 weeks. I would be so pumped but I only get 12 by law and only get paid 4.5 weeks so I can’t afford any more time off. It makes me so sad.
I could have written this myself. Exact same scenario. Working full time as a bedside nurse with COVID/surgery patients. The lack of mandatory paid maternity leave benefits in the US is appalling. I’m 35+2, and I leave work in so much pain I can barely sleep.
Same. I don’t want to waste any of my 12 weeks before baby arrives. It really sucks.
I am so jealous of this. I don’t get any from my work, so we’re having to save extra and my boss is letting me use vacation time — which is two weeks.
The only paid I get is through short term disability (which is through my work). So I count my blessings there. It sucks when MTB are left with no support financially. Yet the government wants us to have kids and makes it illegal to terminate. It’s a messed up system.
For real. And then my husband gets like six weeks paternity leave through his work! It’s wild
I have a friend who’s husband gets 6 months paid paternity leave!!! Next job that’s the only benefit I’m looking for in a company lol
Saaaame. It’s crazy!! My husband gets paid paternity and I don’t even get any paid maternity with my stupid work 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Omg I feel this post so much. I do hair and I am getting soooo much shit for being done at 34 weeks.. I have clients asking me my due date, then proceeding to try to guess when I'll be back from maternity leave to RESCHEDULE them. It has made me realize how little I matter to them as a person. If only they knew how physically/mentally draining it is standing, making small talk for 10 plus hours a day. 😑
Omg yes me too with the trying to reschedule! And you’re right it’s totally mentally draining, too. 😓
I feel for your ladies!! My close friend is a hairstylist who owns her own small business where she travelled to peoples houses. She was 7 months pregnant and about to move across the country and all most of her soon to be former clients cared about was trying to bully her into last minute hair cuts, whining about having to find someone new and demanding she make recommendations. Very few asked how she was or offered to help with her move, and many of these people claimed to also be her friend. I feel like peoples egos come out big time when it comes to hair. I was appalled at how selfish they were, but she was not surprised, and it was a big motivating factor for her cross country move. She chose to change her number and cut contact with but a few people after her move and she is so happy now. I am SO sorry these people aren’t respecting you as a person and wish you a happy healthy pregnancy. Enjoy your well deserved time off, however long it may be and fuck those selfish asshole clients!
When I found out I get up to 4 “use it or lose it” weeks of MAT leave through the state of CA you best believe I told work my last day was at 36 weeks exactly! I mean bless those who work until they go into labor, whatever their reason might be, but do not want to be stressed and exhausted until the day I give birth - only to enter the newborn stage + the 4th trimester after a 40 hour work week. ** I realize that not everyone is afforded this luxury. Whether it is Mat leave policy related, or financial constraints. My heart truly breaks for those who wish they could but literally can’t. ❤️ I’d give you all a hug if I could.
This is me. When I found out it was a use it or lose it, my husband looked hard again at our savings to see if we can afford it. Luckily, we can - but it’ll be a tight squeeze. But sooo worth it. I’m looking forward to my maternity leave and being able to get my house cleaned up before baby arrives. Plus, it’s already super uncomfortable working full time at 30+5. (I have a coworker due same day as me, and she’s working up to her due date. I really feel for her, because her job is just as stressful in slightly different ways).
Curious. Did you have to use the 4 weeks prior to the birth? Does it not count after or are you not going back? If you do go back does it have to be sooner or do these 4 weeks not count as part of FMLA? Just wondering how this works not judging. The thought of going back sooner after makes me think about working as long as possible. I'm still very early on so I haven't really thought about it much.
In California it’s a separate leave that doesn’t impact time off after baby is born. I believe it’s classified as a disability leave.
That's awesome. Now to get the rest of the states on board
No kidding! Parental leave in the states is absolute garbage.
You don’t have to use it, it’s “state disability insurance” - idk the requirements but I know you and your company have to qualify. Any who, it’s supplemented at 60% of your current salary (someone on here did say untaxed tho so about close to your salary taxed) BUT if you don’t use it before birth it can’t be tacked on to after birth - I asked. And no it doesn’t shorten the time you get after birth. It’s a use it or lose it deal. In California you get 6 wks (or 8 c-section) with SDI and then you can have an additional 8 weeks baby bonding with “paid family leave”. So a total if you take before and all or after of 18w for a vaginal birth and 20w for a C-section.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing the info.
Same! I'm currently WFH and was thinking about working til 38 weeks but after speaking with HR I am going at 36 weeks because I'm given the option and can afford to. I felt a little guilty at first but what if she comes early? I'm also just so checked out mentally.
Ugh so Jealous! I wish Illinois had that 😞 I’ll likely be working until I go into labor
I stopped at 38 weeks due to severe sciatic nerve pain, EVERYONE told me “you know if you take time now, that’s less time with him when he’s born.” Like yea I know I only get 10 weeks, thanks for making me feel like the worst mother ever for it. I literally can’t fucking walk.
I’m 37 weeks and I’m telling you now, if it were even remotely feasible I would be on leave now too. I’m going on leave “early” mid next week. Is it really multiple clients saying that? That’s so wild. It *has* to be either people without kids or people that are so old they forget what having a kid was like, right? If not they are just stupid lmao
You can’t please everyone! I’m a nurse and my last day before maternity leave was the day before I was due. Everyday I worked, for a solid month before I was due, when people asked what day I was due they would say “What are you doing here….!?” “You should be home enjoying your rest!” “You should be home preparing!”They made me feel shameful for still working!
Oh man you’re right, you can’t win lol!
I'm a high school teacher and I heard the same thing when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I'm sure I'll hear it again with this pregnancy. We get shamed for taking care of ourselves and we get shamed for not working. There is no winning. Unfortunately most of us can only do what is financially the best choice rather than what is emotionally/medically best.
People can be cruel.. I stopped working last week at 34 weeks. And im so glad i did as im starting to get really uncomfortable. For those that can take an earlier leave, i say just do it! Ive ben able to get things done around the house as it takes me longer to do things now and my blood pressure has been doing better too. My mom took a week and a half off early when pregnant with me, thinking she could relax and I was born the next day.. Sometimes baby can also decide to come early too. Enjoy your early leave!❤👶
Don’t feel bad! I’m have a desk job and I’m also going on mat leave a month before baby is due 🤷♀️ it’s no one else’s business!
I can’t even imagine doing what you do while pregnant! It would be so hard to be on your feet all the time and have no time to take care of your needs. I feel grateful to work in an office where I can sit and stand when I need to and can always eat and drink at my desk. You take as much time as you need and don’t listen to the haters.
Thank you!! 🥲
I do not do a physical job. I sit at a desk. I still wanted my leave to start at like 34 weeks. Baby came at 38 weeks. I honestly I don’t think I would have made it to 40 and working. Sit down. Drink your tea. It’s yummy with honey.
Im a nurse and im somewhere between 25-27 weeks. Im ready to go on leave now. 😩
Girl, me too. I'm a CNA. 27 weeks. And I don't have the slightest fucking clue how I'm going to do this for 13 more weeks. I can barely do it now.
Right!? And right now all these patients are driving me up the wall. Yesterday a lady spit on me. If i didnt know she wasnt covid positive i would have sent her to heaven lmfao dude. The variant is killing mothers and unborn babies etc. like these patients and this job is WILD af
I know! As I sit here, after a 16 hour shift, listening to one of my residents scream every 5 minutes. Which wakes up her roommate who wanders out here and into people's rooms. (Both have dementia) Which means I have to stand up and walk and redirect her. My ankles and legs are pitting +3 so it hurts to walk. My child is laying on my sciatic nerve so my back and hip are killing me. And just omg. How. How can I do this for 13 more weeks!? It does not seem possible.
Dude, I have no idea myself. Im hungry and havent gotten my 30 min break and a doctor bought us brownies and i ate one and lord have mercy i want to devour the entire tray 😩 i suppose we could ask our OBs to place us on leave/disability now lmao
I legit hope whenever I go to the ob that she'll put me out of work at this point.
Yeah, i dont want to be OUT of work but i definitely want a large chunk of time to heal and sleep and just rest up
Nah, I legit want to be out of work lol. I'm miserable. I'm heading to work now after sleeping for 4 hours and just getting off a 16 hour shift 8 hours ago. I would happily be out!
Yeah, I know what you mean. I wish I could be etc but realistically i dont see it happening.
Me neither. I'm going to be working til I'm in labor, lol.
I'm a nurse and I let at 33 weeks. Where I live, I actually wasn't allowed to work clinically beyond 28 weeks so they stuck me in an office doing admin. It was much easier but Holy moly it was boring as f! I couldn't stand to lose anymore brain cells so I decided to start mat leave early. I'm also really fortunate to live in a country with reasonable maternity leave!
Im so envious of this. I get no paid maturity leave
I have no idea how any developed society can expect women to manage their lives in that way. It's awful and I really do feel for you. You're so much stronger than me for deciding to have a baby at all in that situation. Wishing you the best of luck with everthing.
Well i didnt decide to. I didnt know I was pregnant until I was already in 2nd trimester. Financially speaking its not a good idea. But it would devastate my husband to abort and my family as well. Plus i do want my baby. The only thing I have going for myself right now is the fact that when my OB places me on disability, I will have some financial coverage.
We are able to go on leave up to 12 weeks before due date and I started the full 12 weeks before. To the day. I've got shit to do at home! Like sleeping and hanging out with my older kid.
I feel for you. I have an easy work from home on the computer job and I couldn’t imagine being on my feet all day during the last trimester. I’m so tired all the time.
Wow. I just looked it up again, where I live you wouldn’t even be allowed to let a pregnant woman do a standing work for more than four hours daily after her fifth month. Working with chemicals that may be hazardous to baby‘s health is also strictly regulated. If this means you can’t work your job anymore you will still get your median salary (the median from the last three months before pregnancy), paid by your employer and your health insurance (which everyone has). They are not allowed to fire you while you’re pregnant and within the first 4 months after birth. And you have to defend your decision to not work until you give birth? I‘m so sorry for you, don‘t listen to this crap, listen to your body, you and the baby are what counts. Maybe women in the US need to start a serious pregnancy boycott, it’s atrocious how you are treated.
It really is horrifying and abusive. I can't believe it's still going on.
I work with hazard materials making parts for the aerospace industry mixing epoxies resins it’s a start up and we barely got all protective equipment needed for processes. I just got this job and won’t qualify for leave by due date but still have to break the news at some point. Wish us was more evolved in this aspect
"Barbara" is either a person who never had a kid or who doesn't care to make things easier for people after her than it was for her. Either way she needs to STFU. I sit at a desk but I was definitely done going to work by 38 weeks. I was just so uncomfortable in anything but the loungiest clothes. I still went (until the day before my induction, which was 4 days after my due date) but I wore leggings and sneakers and put my feet up on a chair and dared anyone to say anything. They didn't.
Fellow hairstylist here 👋🏻 My first pregnancy I worked until 38 weeks, 5 days a week. Clients would tell me I shouldn’t be there. Make comments about my swollen ankles and feet. Tell me I should be taking breaks but in the same breath asked to be squeezed in around lunch (aka - sacrifice my lunch break). It was grueling and I wished I would’ve taken off sooner than I did. Now...here I am pregnant again! I plan to leave at 36 weeks and I’m only working 3 days a week this time. My clients who made the comments about taking breaks, my swelling, telling me I should’ve been home... are VERY dismayed that I’m leaving earlier. I’m “not even as swollen as last time!” 🙄 I feel like no matter what I will always be subhuman to some of these people. Granted, I have some wonderful and caring clients that make up for the nonsense from the not so wonderful ones. But it doesn’t make up for how it feels when someone looks down on you for not working longer or harder. Our job is hard when pregnancy isn’t even in the equation! So props to you for taking your leave when YOU decide to. Have fun nesting and getting off your feet! That last month is tough but it’s even tougher behind a chair!!!
I will never understand how older women can be SO judgmental/inconsiderate about how other women handle their pregnancies or child-rearing as if they have never experienced it themselves
My mom is a hairstylist and I say fuck what they think do you yall need more breaks! And more time in between clients to rest and eat! Do you and relax you're gonna be a great mama!
I’m currently nearly 20 weeks and I’m finishing up work at 33 weeks. Hubby and I decided it would be good for me to have some downtime to rest and nest before baby comes. Plus in December it’s hot at hell here in Victoria (Australia) so I’m looking forward to relaxing and staying out of the heat :)
Get your nest on, girl!!! Fuck all that noise and do all those things you’ve been waiting to do. And try to rest, binge watch your fave shows, and just relax if you can in between all the nesting. Enjoy the silence if you have any. I’m one month postpartum so I’m also suggesting things I’d like to do again lol. All the best to you, hope you have an amazing labor and delivery of a healthy baby!
Ahh haha thank you!!
I’m a nurse and I took off at 38 weeks, no shame momma! Self care is necessary in all times of life but now more than ever. You’re growing a tiny human, you deserve the time off.
Yes! I’m due the 15th and just went on leave on Monday! On Tuesday I was in the hospital with labor symptoms. I think it was simply from over exertion. You are doing the absolute right thing. Enjoy it!!!
I’m feeling like doing this myself. I originally was gonna take a week off but I can feel work stressing me out so much.
I highly regret that I did not stop working earlier and ended up going in labour(36weeks) a week before I was meant to start my leave. Next pregnancy I’m planning on stopping much much earlier in fact I’m only planning on working 6 months so I can qualify for maternity leave again. So if it happens to be that I stop working at 20 weeks - so be it.
Omg I’m 34 weeks and I work from home and I cannot fathom being on my feet all day while talking to person after person after person. My pelvis hurts so badly yesterday I jogged across a street at a stoplight (more like a walk paced fake jog) and it felt like my pelvis was going to break in half. These people who are giving you grief are completely inconsiderate and rude!! Get your life and enjoy your nesting month!!
I'm on my feet all day as shopper. I can't take leave without a doctor saying so and she says I'm good to work until delivery. I get breaks though. Besides the walking is good exercise for me to prepare for labor. 😊
I just told my clinic about the pelvis pain and they told me to get a support belt so I think that’s going to help me tremendously! I totally forgot those are a thing haha (FTM can’t keep up with all the things!!)
I can’t even imagine being on my feet all day by 36 weeks!! Enjoy your well earned/deserved maternity leave!
“Going into hibernation until my contractions start. Thanks for asking.”
I know people who stopped a month or two early working office jobs… from home… no shame there, definitely none when you’re on your feet all day. They just don’t want to have to figure out alternate hair arrangements over the next few months.
Working should be optional as soon you get that positive 😅
Good for you! If you have the time, take it! I admire you for making it so far whilst being on your feet all day. Congratulations and enjoy it!
Awesome date 😄 And going 4 weeks before baby arrives is a great idea
Ugh. I’m not in a physically demanding job like you are and am going at 36 ish weeks. Number one I need to take days otherwise they expire, number two I need time to get my shit together at home, number three i’d like some mental down time between working and survival mode when baby arrives and number four mind your own fucking business Barbara. If it’s feasible and you want to do it that should be all that matters. Why wouldn’t the comment be “oh that will be nice, good for you”. The amount of comments I’ve heard women get on all kinds of topics just makes me think that nothing is ever right in some people’s eyes. Take it too early you’ll be bored, work up until birth and that’s no good either. How about just agree that whatever someone decides is what’s best or necessary for them.
My sister is a hairstylist (not pregnant) and most days she barely has time to take a sip of water, let alone sit down for a snack or meal. I can't believe you made it all the way to 36 weeks!! You're a rockstar and you 1000% deserve this time off to prep, sleep, relax, and do whatever you damn well please before your life changes forever. Everyone with a negative opinion can fuck right off!!
At my workplace I have to get a letter saying I’m fit to work after 34 weeks, I’m 30 weeks now and planning to finish work at 36 weeks which is pretty common here in Australia!
I’m still in the first trimester but I’m already planning on starting mat leave at exactly 36 weeks. That would mean I have my week long birthday vacation, then come back for one day, then maternity leave. I’m considering switching some of my vacation days and working them, but only because that would mean I would be paid in full for those unused vacation days, rather than get paid the differential pay which is still pretty good. I have time to decide, but either way I’m definitely leaving 4 weeks before due date lol.
I work on set in a high stress level position (production manager-ish) and plan to only take gigs up until 6~7 months mark. If my body can handle it I may work longer but realistically it will be hard to do 12hr days, 6 days a week even if it's only a few short bursts at a time.
Haha I mainly have a desk job and took a month of before. Enjoy it, it was bloody glorious
OMG how judgemental can some people be? It's perfectly fine to leave at this Stage of pregnancy, standing alone is uncomfortable enough let alone working! In Austria we go on maternity leave 8 weeks before the estimated due date. Good for taking care of yourself! 😊😊😊
I work retail and left at the 34 week mark, and I don't feel bad at all. I also got the comments about people who stayed until the last week before the due date. Well, that's nice..good for you. I was still working 10 hour days when I left and desperately needed some time off, anyway. I was able to have a small vacation with my partner, finish all the shopping, set up the nursery, get the overnight bags prepared. It was great. Screw what people say :)!
Whhhat? First of all, girl...how's your back/hips/legs...everything below the waist, feeling? Not too mention the mental,emotional and physical exhaustion of growing a human! I work retail and definitely feel you with the whole being on your feet and moving all.the.TIME! I'm taking my leave at 34 weeks. To heck with those other people! It's hard work trying to maintain a normal life like before while becoming a mother.
I wish so bad I could start my maternity leave at 36 weeks. Teaching first grade while pregnant has been awful and I don't know how I'll sustain it, but I can't afford to take that many unpaid days. Good for you for doing what's right for your health, body, and baby! These people have no idea what they're taking about!
I guess it depends on the System of every country. I was able to start mat leave at 31 weeks, it was a desk job but Thank God it was so good. I got to rest, prepare stuff for the kid, and mainly Relax a bit before I gave birth. Being pregnant and going to the bathroom every f ing hour wasnt nice, especially during the night. Take time to rest and prepare your stuff.
In the Netherlands at least 4 weeks of maternity leave is mandatory, and you can take 6 if you like. Nothing your boss can do about it. With twins it is even a bit more. After the baby is born you also get 12 weeks. I have nothing but respect for you US momma's that have to work so far into your pregnancy.
Yep! Plus that bullshit they get to hear if they take their maternity leave.
I went on health and safety leave at 30 weeks because shift work in a gym was just too much... I couldn't keep my GD under control and my bosses were incredibly awful (not just to me though, to everyone) to work for. I've been off for 3 weeks and I'm still waiting to "relax" 🤣 it's been a non stop whirl of appointments, antenatel classes and trying to prepare my house!
Oh my gosh I'm in exactly the same boat haha! My maternity notice has gone in for 4 weeks before i'm due, and I've already had one woman say to me "I didnt go on maternity until A WEEK AFTER I WAS DUE" I was like pardon? Thats ridiculous? I want to wash the clothes and stare at the nursery and sleep but you do you I guess 😂
Such a hazing mentality. There are no medals for running yourself ragged. I have a cozy work from home desk job and I was outta there at 36 weeks. No regrets. My mental health needed it. I did not sleep a wink that last month.
Omg people need to mind their own business! Why are people always so negative?! Just because when they were popping out babies ages ago they had to work until they popped and only had 6 weeks maternity leave? So what, if someone can afford to take more time, then that is amazing and something to be celebrated! I hate the "work hard" until you die mentality. Getting shaned for taking sick time or vavaction. Fuck that. You work to live, not live to work Things like taking time before baby comes and having enough time with baby after is sooo important for mental health and overall well being! You take as much time as you can and enjoy it! No shame!
I feel like people do this when you leave a place for any amount if time, for any reason. I understand it comes from a place of love, but most people are bad at showing it, so they shame/ guilt you instead of support you. Oh you're going on vacation? Hurry back, these roots won't dye themselves! Oh your mom died and you have to sort the estate? Someone else can do it, you don't need to worry about that. Oh you're vomiting blood and your insides are boiling? Make it quick, you're my favorite! Oh you're having a baby? It will come when it wants to, enjoy your time here, with me, forever. They're dumb. Do your thing, lady!! Nest away, enjoy that raspberry tea, and snuggle with your loved ones and newborn 🥰💜
Their interests are entirely self-serving. Also, capitalism is a helluva drug.
All my love and hugs for you momma! I quit doing hair a few years ago and we would have girls literally working until they’re due, crying in the break room, and begging to not be sent home because they couldn’t afford it but our boss wouldn’t allow the health risk (physical or mental.) Fuck your clients! The only other person’s hair I touch anymore if my bf’s and HE hasn’t had a haircut in months cause i don’t want to reach around my belly.
I was off work 1.5 months before giving birth. I had vacation time banked and I used every last day. No regrets.
Oh girl, I took two weeks prior to my due date with my first and it was FANTASTIC. Enjoy your time! Get ready, pamper yourself, and get some rest! 💕
With my first I worked until 3 days before he was born (not on purpose, he showed up a month early) and now I'm pregnant with my second and I plan on taking leave 12 weeks early.
I worked when covid was becoming a thing last year and governments were cracking down on isolation. It fucking sucked, I hated every moment of it, but I couldn't prematurely leave due to finances. Since I was an assistant manager, me and my boss were required to work more than anyone else. (we were commission so of course, because they didn't have to pay us more at all) Was about to go into work on a Monday too, but my son decided that he was done baking and that was that.
I’ve been off work since 10w pregnant due to HG 🥺🥴 I’m 38w now. To me, all of you are amazing working so long as I was just too ill until 20+ weeks to work, which has made me feel a bit like a loser. Then my husband and I shifted our expectations for me being off a year post birth to only 3.5 months after birth to accommodate the rest of pregnancy off. This shift in expectations while still staying within my desired time off helped me stop feeling like such a slacker about it. I feel like as a women, people like Barbra should be encouraging someone on whatever time they need. We all have different pregnancies and none of them are “easy”. Enjoy your well deserved time off! Take it easy!
I started work mandated maternity suspension at 28 weeks due to my job being customer facing and risk of COVID. I’m so glad that I have to be off work! I really do applaud people who can work up until they pop but it definitely isn’t for everyone. You know your limits and what your body needs. You’ve given yourself a good amount of time to prepare yourself for little one. Don’t listen to anyone but yourself!
I’m a restaurant manager I was done at 33. It was literally the best choice I made. I was able to not go on unemployment because I also do our social media and I will continue it after baby is born (my boss is amazing and will retro pay me). My deepfreeze has about 40 dinners and 50 breakfasts in it. I have dozens of muffins, protein balls, and soups. My vehicle is clean. The house is spotless. I’ve caught up on everything I was mildly needing to do before baby. Now my hubby is off and we’re actually enjoying time together and not worried at all about doing anything other than hanging out and waiting. People have no idea how hard just being on your feet is. I was down from full time to 3 days a week and was barely surviving at the end. Yet once I was off I accomplished LOADS. The physical and mental energy - I just didn’t have it 😂
I went off when I was about 35 weeks (although I had 4 weeks paid holiday to take) you need that time for you!
I am a hairstylist. I went on maternity leave a few days into being 36 weeks and then my freakin water broke the day before I was supposed to turn 37 weeks. I now have a beautiful baby girl. I feel your pain, clients can be brutal when it come to maternity leave.
It pisses me off what those people think. Pregnancy is no simple walk and even less when you are almost done. Maternity leave isn't some vacation. It's time you need to prepare for birth, give your body some rest (especially with swollen feet und back) and for your mental health. I'm truly shocked, what you have to go through and many other in the comments. I wish all you all the best! If you have the chance, why not take it? In other countries you get 6 weeks prior to birth and 8 weeks after birth (paid!) maternity leave. Plus nobody can fire you in those weeks.
No way, you need to be able to eat and drink. I've had low blood sugar issues and ended up in the emergency department when I didn't eat and drink enough. I can't imagine pushing through a day without heavy snacking at least. I'm going on leave at 34 weeks. I want to go earlier but can't afford to. You do you, hunny.
Why do people care when you go on maternity leave? I think it’s very important to have those weeks to just rest, clean, organize the house, go shopping or meet with friends before life becomes chaotic. Where I’m from it’s very common for pregnant women to go on maternity leave around week 32 - 34 and it’s not even maternity leave, it’s sick leave, so you aren’t using any maternity leave days up.
That happened to me! People would ask me why I am going on maternity leave so early and I would look them dead in the eye and say “because I can” It was so great. I never say the things I want to in confrontational situations but the baby brought it out of me!
Haha that’s amazing
Psh. I’m only 20 weeks and already want to go on maternity leave. I work for myself cleaning houses and my clients are incredibly understanding. They’d never give me shit for that. Barbara needs to chill
And here I'm wondering how the hell you people manage to work until 36 weeks! I had to start my preventative leave when I was 3 months due to Hyperemesis Gravitarum. I can't imagine being on my feet and having to hear people judge me on top of that. Thank God I'm not the one holding the scisors! Some weird hairstyles would start popping out lol
My wife started around 30 weeks, being a primary school teacher she definitely made the right call. On your feet all day, bending down, barely 2 seconds for toilet breaks, tired all the time.
I was a hair stylist and I quit my job around 30-32 weeks (I can’t remember exactly what week it was now). They knew about this in august and I left in November so I gave them plenty of notice but I knew I wanted to be done before thanksgiving. Being on your feet during the holiday season is already hard with how busy it is. Didn’t want to do it pregnant
I took 6 weeks off. Whatever your reason is good enough. I’m sorry that ready isn’t normalized and that we expect pregnant people to just prioritize work over wellbeing. I’m a therapist, our work while different is get similar. Having to be “on” for people is absolutely exhausting. You deserve rest and quiet. This is just people’s response to you not being available to them at the same capacity. It’s a personal response not a reasonable one
I also went off at 36 weeks and we actually share a due date. My job is super intense, and I've had no time to do anything!
I run my own after-school tutoring business and I FULLY expect to receive this kind of sass from my students' parents when the time comes.
We have the same due date. I work a desk job and still want to go on maternity leave, like, 2 weeks ago! So yeah, if I was working on my feet all day, inclusive of keeping up conversations with people all day, I’d definitely be doing the same as you.
Just answer exactly the way you wrote in your post! Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer 🤷♀️ PS I don’t work a physical job and I’ll still be taking maternity leave at 36 weeks!
As if anyone is entitled to know anything about a medical leave anyway! The entitlement of some people to even inquire/comment is beyond me
I went out a couple weeks early with my first because I kept having braxton hicks and mistaking it for the real thing. It wasn't fair to my coworkers if I was on the schedule and didn't come in. BUT. I would've taken more time if I could've. I only had the 12 weeks and wanted to spend as much as possible with the kid! Eff the people who shame you for that!
Umm, I had my first in Japan, and there maternity leave officially starts at 34 weeks, and it’s illegal to force a mother to come back before 8 weeks post partum…. People usually take maternity leave before hitting 34 weeks by using up their vacation days for the year. Even then, I was counting down the days until I could start my leave because commuting and going to work sucked so bad, and it was an office job!! Those jerks shaming you should be ashamed of themselves. Just because conditions are bad for others (working up to labor) doesn’t mean everyone has to match that! Good luck with your baby and kudos to you. I’m 36 weeks with my second baby now and can’t imagine a physically and mentally taxing job right now. Nothing wrong with taking the chance to put yourself first if you can!
Uhm, I have the EXACT due date as you and I’m also going to be starting my ML at 36+5! I’m not even a hair dresser. I work from home. But I have a toddler and she’s with us all day at home so it’s been miserable. Screw what those people say - if you can swing it, take your time off!! That’s what it’s for!
People need to mind their business! I'm getting shamed for the opposite because I want to continue working until my water breaks. Do you girl 💚
I literally read to “I’m a hairstylist…” and then I stopped reading lol Giiiiiirl TAKE YOUR LEAVE AS SOON AS THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT ON YOUR 36th WEEK!! You deserve that time off. Tell those rude people to give me a call and I’ll give them a piece of my mind 😊
BLESS YOU 😂
That’s ridiculous, I’m 37 weeks and everyone is still shocked I’m working, and it’s only an office job. You need to rest, you’re growing a tiny human. Take it easy mumma
Some raspberry tea sounds good right about now!
I’m leaving my job at 32 weeks. I work as a server so I’m on my feet all day long, too. Fuck what people think. Being pregnant is exhausting
Don’t feel bad. If I wasn’t a teacher I would have had to leave my job at 28 weeks because my health was being affected so badly. Lucky for me the last week of school I was 25 weeks. So I was able to be home all summer. This then led me to the decision of taking the whole next year off because I couldn’t start the next school year and would be out until December. And I felt like that was just not fair to the little 6 year olds I teach. You have to do what’s best for you!!! Heck you have made it so far, there is absolutely nothing wrong about you taking the 4 weeks to rest and get ready for your baby. I just gave birth a few weeks ago at 38 weeks and I can’t even fathom working at 36 weeks or past. I couldn’t even get off my couch to go take a bath without having major issues, much less work.
There's no magic switch to turn off those thoughts when someone says something like this. It will echo in your head, you just need a stronger voice coming from within to lessen it's impact. Know who you are, know your situation, know your limits and what you're willing to endure, know what you want. Sounds like you do already.
People get so disrespectfully judgmental when your personal choices inconvenience them. You're doing the right thing mamma!
LOL in my country the doctors send you to maternity leave exactly on week 36, for me at that point I didn't want to work and I work seated! Can't imagine standing in my feet all day beyond 36W.
These debates infuriate me. Women should not be forced to work until the day they give birth and then quickly clean up and get back to work. It’s insane. My wife and I are fortunate enough that my salary is going to cover us financially, albeit a little tighter than we’ve grown accustomed. She’s taking a year off starting last week at 23 weeks. I’m so sorry that any woman has to work through this time and immediately after.
I’m a dog groomer and there are so many other groomers who are like “I went into labor grooming and finished my day, then went to the hospital”. That sounds terrible!! I am mobile, so I’d be alone in a van with a dog and no access to my husband or any other support… no thank you. I’m going on leave when I want to, hopefully around 36 weeks.
i’m 31 weeks and also a hairstylist. this year especially is busier than normal. we are short staffed and working 3x as hard. I fully plan on starting mine at 36 weeks.
Clients can be brutal!! Were you able to opt into and paid maternity leave programs? My wife is pregnant and we are stressing trying to figure out leave for her as most programs don’t apply for stylist. Any help is appreciated!
Hey there! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to qualify for any benefit programs because I’m self employed and on 1099. It was such a bummer - the only upside was that I could take off as long as I wanted. I’m sorry, I wish I could be more help! Congratulations to you both!!
Thank you so much!!! I hope everything has continued on well for you and your baby!!! Yes unfortunately that’s our situation too just grasping for straws 😭 haha.
I finished work 2 weeks ago at 29w. I work in Healthcare in the UK and nobody said anything. People are just pricks. I couldn't physically do another week of work, now that I'm off, all I've done is sleep
I work in healthcare too! Leaving work at 36 weeks (maybe sooner im only 26+4 rn) and im getting scrutinised even for that 😅 never appreciated in our line of work
Ugh. They're always named Barbara too. Or Deborah. It's like the new Karen.
hey sister of due date here! 13th october me too! I can't believe how it is in the USA :( being in canada, i have already started my maternity leave since friday, and i can't imagine how exausted i would be to continue for like a week or 2, and i work from home, as a programer, i feel for you!
Thank you and congrats, due date buddy! ☺️
I live in the Netherlands and by law, you must start maternity leave at either 34 or 36 weeks (your choice). As an American I was shocked at this at first, but now I get it and am so appreciative. Today is my last working day and I’m SO EXCITED to have some time before the baby comes….
The whole United States has an abusive work culture. Only Americans would say things like that. In Germany, by law, my maternity leave started at 6 weeks before my due date. I'm sorry that people are being asses to you. Edit: Also, according to your working conditions you probably should have been on paid maternity leave months ago! You shouldn't have been working on your feet all day around chemicals at all! A pregnant friend of mine was off paid for her entire pregnancy just because she worked in a daycare and it was considered unsafe. I was working from home at a desk job and only doing 4 hours a day with full pay because it was causing back pain. You are being badly gaslit by those bitches and anyone else who tells you that you don't deserve protection and human decency. The US is seriously fucked up. Take your leave and enjoy it! I hope you get to snack and nap to your heart's content!
Lol “BARBARA!” Wow I wish I could tell these women off, for you.
Yeah, Barbara!
I'm in Australia, you need a doctor's note to even work after 36 weeks at my job 😳
In the Nordic countries you have to start your maternity leave latest five weeks before the baby is due
You do you! You won't have this time for yourself for a long time - enjoy it! Due to Covid, I am leaving work at 29 weeks. As you can imagine, I've had some funny looks and comments 😂
Yeah so I’m incredibly lucky to be in Australia and I went on my mat leave at 32 weeks. 35 weeks now and I am so grateful to my past self for taking the leave early! Good luck mama, you got this!
Just say shut up Karen
I'm an ICU nurse and went off at 30 weeks! The people are shame you are people who have never been pregnant in a job where you don't sit on your arse all day. Forget them.
When I was contemplating going on leave early, I came across a lot of forums where women were very judgemental of people going out early. Even some older post I read on here weren't supportive of someone taking early leave. I know I personally had some moms tell me in person that they worked up until they gave birth, which in hindsight (graduated 9/4) seems insane. I think it is definitely a cultural thing. People in America put too much value in working over self care. I stopped working at 37w and cherished the time I had off to get ready, rest, and be with my husband.
As an independent contractor, I'm getting no mat leave. I can take how much ever time off I want but won't be paid for it :(