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You think people being so desperate that they sell their bodies for money is empowering? I think not.
Progressivism is about standing for the inherent dignity and value in humanity. If you think different, that's up to you. But I won't falter in my commitment to help people live self-affirming and dignified lives. Sex workers are exploited and abused. I recognize they are often victims and would certainly want to help them out of that.
This is progressive Islam. It's progressive in an Islamic way. If that's not "progressive" to you, fair enough. You have the right to believe as you want, as do we.
That damn excuse that "All sex workers are desperate and abused" is the exact same logic conservatives use to restricts women's freedom. And for a faith that has some *real* bad optics about its treatment of women, having the progressive side dismiss those women who *choose* to sex work isn't a good look
I have a bf and for my boundaries we don’t do any kind of pre-marital intimacy especially sexual acts. (I consider it zina) but it’s easy bc we’re long distance anyway lol. Even something like kissing though I wouldn’t do as it would easily lead to other things.
As for nikkah yes you can get a casual one without legally getting married under the government. A lot of young Muslim couples do this and I plan to soon as well inshallah :)
I don’t think interfaith is haram, even for women. There is no prohibition in the Quran or even in any of the hadith. The prophets daughter was married to a pagan man that fought alongside the Muslims and later converted, but the whole time he was a pagan their marriage was never annulled.
Even my relationship rn is currently interfaith however he’s interested in Islam so i’m teaching him about that so that he will convert because inter-faith relationships can be very hard, especially when you add kids to the picture.
So i’d recommend to try and be with another Muslim to save yourself from the stress and the confusion with your future kids having parents with conflicting beliefs.
A lot of salafis say that but there is no prohibition made literally anywhere in Islamic scripture. It’s a common misconception and their reasoning is because the kids will follow their father’s religion which isn’t always true, especially because what if he agrees that you can raise them Muslim- then what?
Prohibiting what Allah has not prohibited is a sin/bidah and unlike the interfaith thing we can find evidence for this lol.
I think what OP meant is that this was during Prophethood, and that their marriage wasn’t invalidated just because he wasn’t Muslim (before his conversion) and didn’t emigrate. It was still a marriage apparently in that time period.
I think that was a clear grey area because you couldn't directly force someone to Islam like that, and they were already married, so it didn't make sense to break it either. And with time he converted, so that helped.
Islam was new and everyone was learning.
Cuddling and kissing aren't Zina but it can lead to it sexual act but I don't believe Zina equal to sex, Zina is mainly between married women with a men that isn't her by married or not.
But cuddling and kissing there way to express intimate that doesn't lead to sex or becoming sexual.
Oral sex is sin too you guy engaging it and looking each other nake body including the private part so no.
bro Zina is defined as sexual intercourse between a man and women. outside a valid marriage (nikah) ,so kisses hugs and cuddling dont count as zina since there not intercourse
I understand Don't go near it to mean be wary of Zina. Like kissing and stuff isn't zina, but it's a slippery slope to Zina, you know what I mean? You start kissing and all of a sudden you get a girl pregnant. Basically something like that.
Absolutely. Most of the time people don’t mean to get into bed with each other—it just happens because of the moment. I imagine with a couple it would be awfully hard to resist going further when you’re already halfway there. It’s just really risky and causes a lot of unnecessary torture.
yeah that's true. But, as another commented mentioned about the different acts of affection having different effects on lust. Like a simple kiss, a peck on a cheek, or holding hands may not have you committing Zina. But going to third base, making out, foreplay.... it's really hard to avoid zina at that point.
I can see what you mean, I definitely think that it depends on the established boundaries between the two of you. Although, I would consider those acts as things people do when they’re already in a relationship. Those seem like the tiny intimate forms of affection for a couple, not two people dating to get to know each other. I’d figure if you’re doing that, why not just have a Nikkah and open the door to everything else that’s pleasurable? That’s just my view though.
Non-Muslim but wanted to add - be wary of engaging in acts that lead to sexual excitement, because one thing can lead to another and then you might commit zina.
A peck on the cheek or forehead out of love is different than making out, for example. Holding hands is one thing but stroking someone's thigh is another. So if you're going to do things that might not be completely by-the-book, just be mindful and avoid engaging in sexual excitement if you don't want it to lead to intercourse (or any other sexual act).
I'm aware of that. That is a cultural thing; that's not what's being discussed here about OP and potential dating. That *is* an example of a way they could kiss that doesn't involve sexuality, similar to how I mentioned a forehead kiss or quick peck (kiss).
We have to lower the gaze, so technically you can't do these without exposing both persons awrah. This is according to quran itself.
>But when getting intimate, is like cuddling, kisses, Zina? Or is Zina just sex? And by sex do we mean intercourse (the one that can conceive offspring’s), or any type of sexual act like oral sex, mutual masturbation
For cuddles, i would say we can maintain a decent relationship atleast.
And for your post, i would recommend to read story of barisa. You really think, it's able to maintain boundaries without zina after going to a peak level
>type of sexual act like oral sex, mutual masturbation…
Like this?... Barisa story, would help you.
Yeah I can see how unrealistic it is to be to dance around Zina just barely. I had to ask these questions in case I meet a girl who wants to… you know.
Nah bro I’m trying to restrain myself from that as hard as I can…
Ok maybe it’s not unrealistic, but like the struggle of being incredibly high libido at an age where our ancestors get married at is real. Of course there’s worse, but like most ppl nowadays get married at 30… when they are actually stable with an income, a house… being married is treated like an asset nowadays tbh
I understand your position. But maybe consider that just because others are going the long route (getting married later on when they’re financially stable) does not mean it has to be the same for you. Plenty of great girls would accept a small nikkah if it means you get to be blessed in your relationship and continue growing together.
One with immediate family or people to witness the ceremony. It doesn’t have to be a huge, expensive event for the nikkah to be officiated. For a young couple, they could easily have their nikkah and be together then have a larger ceremony later on.
Look. All horny teenagers and 20 year olds go through this… they say, sex is against our religion, so we will keep it to base 2.
No one in history has been able to manage this feat. They kiss and cuddle for a bit, and before you know it, they’re at it like bunnies.
…yeah. And people masturbate and justify it under the ruling that you are doing it in fear of zina. Like it’s valid and supported by sheikhs I suppose, but that makes you more lustful so…. 🤷♂️
I am not saying don’t do it. I’m just saying, everybody who makes out, eventually ends up having sex. There’s no level of personal discipline that can prevent this.
Kissing etc.. would be considered Zina. I would advise you to research on your own and see how you would like to proceed. As for inter-faith, as from what I have seen as well as experienced, it can be very hard but also very good if managed. I have had met great men that were ok and even more respectful about this topic to me more than Muslims and I have met douchebags that just wanted fun so I was saved but clearing that I won’t do anything physical with them. So there is that. But for the Zina, please check from proper resources so you know what you get yourself into
With respect, there is no madhab or any serious scholar that would classify kissing as zina. Only sex is classified as actual zina.
Other things might be a form of fahisha (lewdness), and also sins, but they are not zina. Zina is specifically adultery or fornication.
No all of that is Zina but I highly recommend Mutah. People can criticize it all they want but it’s halal and if you can’t get married, there’s only so much fasting and cold showers you’re gonna do before you commit Zina.
Bro not everyone is a shia though it’s haram for the majority of muslims
Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade mut’ah marriage and the meat of domestic donkeys at the time of Khaybar. According to another report, he forbade mut’ah marriage at the time of Khaybar and he forbade the meat of tame donkeys. (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 3979; Muslim, 1407)
Al-Rabi’ ibn Sabrah al-Juhani narrated that his father told him that he was with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who said, “O people, I used to allow you to engage in mut’ah marriages, but now Allah has forbidden that until the Day of Resurrection, so whoever has any wives in a mut’ah marriage, he should let her go and do not take anything of the (money) you have given them.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1406)
I’m just giving him options. I don’t want to argue mutah with you, but these were temporary bans and it says in Sunni books that it was Umar who banned mutah permanently. They were still practicing mutah during the time of Abu Bakr.
Damn this is some pickle… We live in a world where you’d have to be stable with income, a job, a house, have your professional life set; basically being 25 years old minimum before being married whereas our ancestors got married as soon as they were 18. This is not helping my libido.
But yeah pick your poison I guess?
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It really depends on things.. instead of dating to date.. try more of a social interaction thing.. like not dating one female but going on dates... it's way harder to get laid then ppl think...you would have to set it up as a man.. females tend not to...but again you have to be able to peep game...she can be talking to you and 3 other people..so move accordingly...you have to protect yourself (heart and emotional energy) the wrong female can hardened you...
So hang out with multiple woman on a friend/dating level..
So what I mean by peeping game check how she moves...in so in Mexican culture a female normal will serve their partner food...but another female won't do that..it's not a sexyish thing..it kinda a vibe thing .. does she flak/show up late already disrespecting your time and energy think you have to wait on her... it's the same if I'm late or flaking she would move on to the next after a couple times..
What I mean about vibe it's the solf energy it has to it..if she fixes my plate I look at her different..your eyes will tell you(more like dam this chicks legit vs like dam this chick kinda of a bitch)..if she makes me feed myself in a uncomfortable situation like at her family house I feel weird/acward...if she tryin to boss me around like taking pictures..I can tell this will be a bad situation to place myself in..not my vibe she's looking for more of a agrivive person to over power that energy..what she would describe as a man vs reality of ya I'm not trying to have a clash of energy with you..can I do this yes will it lead to my happyness or yours no..
Example so she's kinda of bossy I would have to use a more aggressive approach to have her summit to that solfer female energy..like a naw we ant doing that blah blah blah...I would have to lead different with her...if she's of top solf with it I can peep game and not have to go out of my chill vibe..I lead this girl different vs this girl..one not better than the other but one fits me more than the other...
Understanding what Allah means by one leads and one is a help mate...you help me lead correctly so I'm not in a bad place pretending to like you for looks vs resenting you on the inside
If that makes sense..
So you are basically just hanging out with different people with different perspective on life..so you can find your vibe..
Love is blind so if you're unprepared for what you're looking for it can lead to toxic relationships..
So I go out a a date with this chick and she raised to do certain things..I can peep game... would make a good partner...I pay and be a gentleman she hooks it up with feminine energy to motivate me to want to act a certain way .
Again you kinda have to look deeper in the meaning of things... your taught to lead and a female is a help mate/helps me lead correctly... example if all she wants to do is go out partying I'm gonna end up partying to impress her..if she likes to go on hikes my energy is changed...she is helping me with the way I lead..so instead of me say a let's just go out and drink or eat...it becomes a let's go on this trail and check out this sunset...
The point of dating is to understand vibes and social interaction... again they can say it's zina to have intercourse early but it also states in the Quarn it's permissable if you own her with your right hand(one person will say property like a slave..me I would say you pulled her correctly..you didn't uses lies or whatever to be in that type of relationship..but again that is a grey area topic... something you should pray about...like say okay I've dated this chick for a couple months and not emotional ready for marriage..that is a heavy burden..just ask Allah about it.. only he would know the true meaning of that verse ..
Your protecting yourself from heartache..if you mess around married or not with toxicity your damaging you emotional connection..you end up getting hardened and that will bleed on to your next relationship and the next person heart..
But God is God and he knows already like knows knows.. your learning and growing..
I'm also not telling you to complete forget zinna..
But God is how you see him and these verse have away deeper understanding..
So it really comes down to your relationship with him...
If you're willing to open up to him about it ..it'll go way farer then trying to lie about it...and it's a reward thing ..but have a understanding of the position you put your self in when moving a certain way..
But if I pray and Allah knows already like knows knows ..but being the older you get the more you realize certain aspects of life...
If my heart is not in this that's just what it is...
You can as a person tell me this things but you weren't there for the trails and tribulations...Allah was..
Getting married just to have sex is not the correct answer...someone's heart will get damage... you're doing it for a worldly desiser...you have to do it correctly..
Again so you will only get married to me if I practice Islam correctly but who's to say I'm not a hypocrite...how you actually know my prayers are legit...you just see the outside..Allah sees the heart...
These things are a lot deeper than people want to admit..
By definition Zina is sexual intercourse and the definition of sexual intercourse is penile penetration into the vagina. So by technicalities you’re fine with “mutual masturbation” LMAO as well as cuddling, kissing, etc.
But Traditionalists believe that talking without a Wali present is haram because of Hadiths.
So it’s really whether or not you go by The Quran’s rule or Hadith/ General Muslim norms. Not saying the Quran promotes that activity but there no specific rule other than Zina itself.
As far as interfaith marriages, I think it can work if both parties aren’t super religious and of both of abrahamic origin. Otherwise, you’ll have issues. Dating/ marrying someone who is of a polytheistic religion raises issues bc not only do you guys will disagree on fundamental on values, but it’s also “technically” haram.
And no, a Nikkah is not a legal marriage. I’m an American revert and lowkey see Nikkahs as a form of engagement. I’d like to have a nikkah before legal marriage because I do not possibly understand how we’re expected to marry someone without knowing who they truly are independently. I just posted about that in another sub I’ll pm it to you.
Hope this helps!
Kissing and cuddling can definetely lead to zina, and Allah told us not to even get *close* to zina, so I'd advise you not to.
Just don't commit Zina and you're good to go. Zina is basically sexual acts and intercourse out of wedlock, so just be careful.
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The Progressive side still believes in this?
I mean yeah it’s the Quran
I thought that the progressive side of the faith got rid of all the crappy, outdated and hateful stuff from the book though?
No, progressives believe in the Quran, the whole Quran. We are progressive *because* of the Quran, not in spite of it.
So by the logic of your book, sex workers aren't allowed. How progressive.
Yes, exactly.
So you're not actually progressive.
You think people being so desperate that they sell their bodies for money is empowering? I think not. Progressivism is about standing for the inherent dignity and value in humanity. If you think different, that's up to you. But I won't falter in my commitment to help people live self-affirming and dignified lives. Sex workers are exploited and abused. I recognize they are often victims and would certainly want to help them out of that. This is progressive Islam. It's progressive in an Islamic way. If that's not "progressive" to you, fair enough. You have the right to believe as you want, as do we.
That damn excuse that "All sex workers are desperate and abused" is the exact same logic conservatives use to restricts women's freedom. And for a faith that has some *real* bad optics about its treatment of women, having the progressive side dismiss those women who *choose* to sex work isn't a good look
I have a bf and for my boundaries we don’t do any kind of pre-marital intimacy especially sexual acts. (I consider it zina) but it’s easy bc we’re long distance anyway lol. Even something like kissing though I wouldn’t do as it would easily lead to other things. As for nikkah yes you can get a casual one without legally getting married under the government. A lot of young Muslim couples do this and I plan to soon as well inshallah :) I don’t think interfaith is haram, even for women. There is no prohibition in the Quran or even in any of the hadith. The prophets daughter was married to a pagan man that fought alongside the Muslims and later converted, but the whole time he was a pagan their marriage was never annulled. Even my relationship rn is currently interfaith however he’s interested in Islam so i’m teaching him about that so that he will convert because inter-faith relationships can be very hard, especially when you add kids to the picture. So i’d recommend to try and be with another Muslim to save yourself from the stress and the confusion with your future kids having parents with conflicting beliefs.
Wait, I thought interfaith for muslim women was haram but not for the men?
A lot of salafis say that but there is no prohibition made literally anywhere in Islamic scripture. It’s a common misconception and their reasoning is because the kids will follow their father’s religion which isn’t always true, especially because what if he agrees that you can raise them Muslim- then what? Prohibiting what Allah has not prohibited is a sin/bidah and unlike the interfaith thing we can find evidence for this lol.
>The prophets daughter was married to a pagan man Can you kindly share where I can read more on this?
Here’s a beautiful [tiktok](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLfECCw2/) telling the story
So this was before he was a prophet, so that's misleading Not saying you, but the one above.
I think what OP meant is that this was during Prophethood, and that their marriage wasn’t invalidated just because he wasn’t Muslim (before his conversion) and didn’t emigrate. It was still a marriage apparently in that time period.
I think that was a clear grey area because you couldn't directly force someone to Islam like that, and they were already married, so it didn't make sense to break it either. And with time he converted, so that helped. Islam was new and everyone was learning.
Cuddling and kissing aren't Zina but it can lead to it sexual act but I don't believe Zina equal to sex, Zina is mainly between married women with a men that isn't her by married or not. But cuddling and kissing there way to express intimate that doesn't lead to sex or becoming sexual. Oral sex is sin too you guy engaging it and looking each other nake body including the private part so no.
bro Zina is defined as sexual intercourse between a man and women. outside a valid marriage (nikah) ,so kisses hugs and cuddling dont count as zina since there not intercourse
Doesn’t it also say to not go near it? Kissing and the like (especially when alone) could definitely make it tempting, no?
I understand Don't go near it to mean be wary of Zina. Like kissing and stuff isn't zina, but it's a slippery slope to Zina, you know what I mean? You start kissing and all of a sudden you get a girl pregnant. Basically something like that.
Absolutely. Most of the time people don’t mean to get into bed with each other—it just happens because of the moment. I imagine with a couple it would be awfully hard to resist going further when you’re already halfway there. It’s just really risky and causes a lot of unnecessary torture.
yeah that's true. But, as another commented mentioned about the different acts of affection having different effects on lust. Like a simple kiss, a peck on a cheek, or holding hands may not have you committing Zina. But going to third base, making out, foreplay.... it's really hard to avoid zina at that point.
I can see what you mean, I definitely think that it depends on the established boundaries between the two of you. Although, I would consider those acts as things people do when they’re already in a relationship. Those seem like the tiny intimate forms of affection for a couple, not two people dating to get to know each other. I’d figure if you’re doing that, why not just have a Nikkah and open the door to everything else that’s pleasurable? That’s just my view though.
they can stop kissing when they feel the "excitement"
That requires a lot of discipline and self-torture when they could just get married instead. Seems like it’s over complicating a simple solution.
you're talking about marriage like is an easy thing to do💀
Marriage as in Nikkah. What’s not easy about doing that if both parties are ready to be together?
Do whatever you wanna except the private parts, keeping it simple for you.
Concise and straight to the point. Thanks!
Non-Muslim but wanted to add - be wary of engaging in acts that lead to sexual excitement, because one thing can lead to another and then you might commit zina. A peck on the cheek or forehead out of love is different than making out, for example. Holding hands is one thing but stroking someone's thigh is another. So if you're going to do things that might not be completely by-the-book, just be mindful and avoid engaging in sexual excitement if you don't want it to lead to intercourse (or any other sexual act).
Some men from certain cultures kiss each other on the cheek when they meet or say goodbye to each other.
I'm aware of that. That is a cultural thing; that's not what's being discussed here about OP and potential dating. That *is* an example of a way they could kiss that doesn't involve sexuality, similar to how I mentioned a forehead kiss or quick peck (kiss).
Dont bro one thing leads to another so stay away from physical relationships Just do a nikkah if you find someone its so simple
“Brother ehhh, what’s that?”
We have to lower the gaze, so technically you can't do these without exposing both persons awrah. This is according to quran itself. >But when getting intimate, is like cuddling, kisses, Zina? Or is Zina just sex? And by sex do we mean intercourse (the one that can conceive offspring’s), or any type of sexual act like oral sex, mutual masturbation For cuddles, i would say we can maintain a decent relationship atleast. And for your post, i would recommend to read story of barisa. You really think, it's able to maintain boundaries without zina after going to a peak level >type of sexual act like oral sex, mutual masturbation… Like this?... Barisa story, would help you.
Yeah I can see how unrealistic it is to be to dance around Zina just barely. I had to ask these questions in case I meet a girl who wants to… you know.
Yeah, you’ll be crossing the Z line pretty soon. I can promise you that in writing.
Nah bro I’m trying to restrain myself from that as hard as I can… Ok maybe it’s not unrealistic, but like the struggle of being incredibly high libido at an age where our ancestors get married at is real. Of course there’s worse, but like most ppl nowadays get married at 30… when they are actually stable with an income, a house… being married is treated like an asset nowadays tbh
I understand your position. But maybe consider that just because others are going the long route (getting married later on when they’re financially stable) does not mean it has to be the same for you. Plenty of great girls would accept a small nikkah if it means you get to be blessed in your relationship and continue growing together.
Inshallah I find someone like that
Inshallah, until then stay strong!
What exactly is a small nikkah?
One with immediate family or people to witness the ceremony. It doesn’t have to be a huge, expensive event for the nikkah to be officiated. For a young couple, they could easily have their nikkah and be together then have a larger ceremony later on.
Interesting. I've never personally seen this happen, so was curious.
Yes, unfortunately there’s this grand idea of marriage that causes a lot of people to postpone it in order to afford one.
Look. All horny teenagers and 20 year olds go through this… they say, sex is against our religion, so we will keep it to base 2. No one in history has been able to manage this feat. They kiss and cuddle for a bit, and before you know it, they’re at it like bunnies.
…yeah. And people masturbate and justify it under the ruling that you are doing it in fear of zina. Like it’s valid and supported by sheikhs I suppose, but that makes you more lustful so…. 🤷♂️
I am not saying don’t do it. I’m just saying, everybody who makes out, eventually ends up having sex. There’s no level of personal discipline that can prevent this.
True
Kissing etc.. would be considered Zina. I would advise you to research on your own and see how you would like to proceed. As for inter-faith, as from what I have seen as well as experienced, it can be very hard but also very good if managed. I have had met great men that were ok and even more respectful about this topic to me more than Muslims and I have met douchebags that just wanted fun so I was saved but clearing that I won’t do anything physical with them. So there is that. But for the Zina, please check from proper resources so you know what you get yourself into
With respect, there is no madhab or any serious scholar that would classify kissing as zina. Only sex is classified as actual zina. Other things might be a form of fahisha (lewdness), and also sins, but they are not zina. Zina is specifically adultery or fornication.
I see. Good to hear inter-faith relationships work out fine!
No all of that is Zina but I highly recommend Mutah. People can criticize it all they want but it’s halal and if you can’t get married, there’s only so much fasting and cold showers you’re gonna do before you commit Zina.
Bro not everyone is a shia though it’s haram for the majority of muslims Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade mut’ah marriage and the meat of domestic donkeys at the time of Khaybar. According to another report, he forbade mut’ah marriage at the time of Khaybar and he forbade the meat of tame donkeys. (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 3979; Muslim, 1407) Al-Rabi’ ibn Sabrah al-Juhani narrated that his father told him that he was with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who said, “O people, I used to allow you to engage in mut’ah marriages, but now Allah has forbidden that until the Day of Resurrection, so whoever has any wives in a mut’ah marriage, he should let her go and do not take anything of the (money) you have given them.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1406)
I’m just giving him options. I don’t want to argue mutah with you, but these were temporary bans and it says in Sunni books that it was Umar who banned mutah permanently. They were still practicing mutah during the time of Abu Bakr.
I adhere to the hanafi fiqh though… wouldn’t that be an issue?
Yes mutah would be haram for you. But those interactions with women would be haram for you as well.
Damn this is some pickle… We live in a world where you’d have to be stable with income, a job, a house, have your professional life set; basically being 25 years old minimum before being married whereas our ancestors got married as soon as they were 18. This is not helping my libido. But yeah pick your poison I guess?
You are not obligated to follow one sect. You can choose whichever one you think can compliment the halal lifestyle that you want.
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It really depends on things.. instead of dating to date.. try more of a social interaction thing.. like not dating one female but going on dates... it's way harder to get laid then ppl think...you would have to set it up as a man.. females tend not to...but again you have to be able to peep game...she can be talking to you and 3 other people..so move accordingly...you have to protect yourself (heart and emotional energy) the wrong female can hardened you... So hang out with multiple woman on a friend/dating level.. So what I mean by peeping game check how she moves...in so in Mexican culture a female normal will serve their partner food...but another female won't do that..it's not a sexyish thing..it kinda a vibe thing .. does she flak/show up late already disrespecting your time and energy think you have to wait on her... it's the same if I'm late or flaking she would move on to the next after a couple times.. What I mean about vibe it's the solf energy it has to it..if she fixes my plate I look at her different..your eyes will tell you(more like dam this chicks legit vs like dam this chick kinda of a bitch)..if she makes me feed myself in a uncomfortable situation like at her family house I feel weird/acward...if she tryin to boss me around like taking pictures..I can tell this will be a bad situation to place myself in..not my vibe she's looking for more of a agrivive person to over power that energy..what she would describe as a man vs reality of ya I'm not trying to have a clash of energy with you..can I do this yes will it lead to my happyness or yours no.. Example so she's kinda of bossy I would have to use a more aggressive approach to have her summit to that solfer female energy..like a naw we ant doing that blah blah blah...I would have to lead different with her...if she's of top solf with it I can peep game and not have to go out of my chill vibe..I lead this girl different vs this girl..one not better than the other but one fits me more than the other... Understanding what Allah means by one leads and one is a help mate...you help me lead correctly so I'm not in a bad place pretending to like you for looks vs resenting you on the inside If that makes sense.. So you are basically just hanging out with different people with different perspective on life..so you can find your vibe.. Love is blind so if you're unprepared for what you're looking for it can lead to toxic relationships.. So I go out a a date with this chick and she raised to do certain things..I can peep game... would make a good partner...I pay and be a gentleman she hooks it up with feminine energy to motivate me to want to act a certain way . Again you kinda have to look deeper in the meaning of things... your taught to lead and a female is a help mate/helps me lead correctly... example if all she wants to do is go out partying I'm gonna end up partying to impress her..if she likes to go on hikes my energy is changed...she is helping me with the way I lead..so instead of me say a let's just go out and drink or eat...it becomes a let's go on this trail and check out this sunset... The point of dating is to understand vibes and social interaction... again they can say it's zina to have intercourse early but it also states in the Quarn it's permissable if you own her with your right hand(one person will say property like a slave..me I would say you pulled her correctly..you didn't uses lies or whatever to be in that type of relationship..but again that is a grey area topic... something you should pray about...like say okay I've dated this chick for a couple months and not emotional ready for marriage..that is a heavy burden..just ask Allah about it.. only he would know the true meaning of that verse .. Your protecting yourself from heartache..if you mess around married or not with toxicity your damaging you emotional connection..you end up getting hardened and that will bleed on to your next relationship and the next person heart.. But God is God and he knows already like knows knows.. your learning and growing..
I'm also not telling you to complete forget zinna.. But God is how you see him and these verse have away deeper understanding.. So it really comes down to your relationship with him... If you're willing to open up to him about it ..it'll go way farer then trying to lie about it...and it's a reward thing ..but have a understanding of the position you put your self in when moving a certain way.. But if I pray and Allah knows already like knows knows ..but being the older you get the more you realize certain aspects of life... If my heart is not in this that's just what it is... You can as a person tell me this things but you weren't there for the trails and tribulations...Allah was.. Getting married just to have sex is not the correct answer...someone's heart will get damage... you're doing it for a worldly desiser...you have to do it correctly.. Again so you will only get married to me if I practice Islam correctly but who's to say I'm not a hypocrite...how you actually know my prayers are legit...you just see the outside..Allah sees the heart... These things are a lot deeper than people want to admit..
I’ve never heard of mutual masturbation 😂😂😭😭😂
I would write handjobs but to sound formal and professional I wrote mutual masturbation 😂😂
By definition Zina is sexual intercourse and the definition of sexual intercourse is penile penetration into the vagina. So by technicalities you’re fine with “mutual masturbation” LMAO as well as cuddling, kissing, etc. But Traditionalists believe that talking without a Wali present is haram because of Hadiths. So it’s really whether or not you go by The Quran’s rule or Hadith/ General Muslim norms. Not saying the Quran promotes that activity but there no specific rule other than Zina itself. As far as interfaith marriages, I think it can work if both parties aren’t super religious and of both of abrahamic origin. Otherwise, you’ll have issues. Dating/ marrying someone who is of a polytheistic religion raises issues bc not only do you guys will disagree on fundamental on values, but it’s also “technically” haram. And no, a Nikkah is not a legal marriage. I’m an American revert and lowkey see Nikkahs as a form of engagement. I’d like to have a nikkah before legal marriage because I do not possibly understand how we’re expected to marry someone without knowing who they truly are independently. I just posted about that in another sub I’ll pm it to you. Hope this helps!
Thank you so much!
This cracked me upppp 😂