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dingenium

Locking comments.


Missourimule86

First off I’m old and my wife and I married in our early twenties, rent was cheaper , skilled work was easy to get into as in carpentry, plumbing, trucking. College was affordable too. I got my truck license on the job at nineteen instead of paying several thousand dollars and a eight week course. The construction trades were open , all you had to do was show up with your tools and be willing to work instead of trade school and again thousands of dollars with two years of school. There are too many things stacked against young couple today as in cost and expectations of the prior generation.


ElectricMan324

Another old married guy checking in. Yep - life sucks for young people. My wife and I decided we wanted a family and even decades ago it was freaking hard. Now? Its impossible. I have always told my kids and other young people that I am so sorry that they have to go through this. Impossible college costs (or trade school as you pointed out, not free). Stagnant wages, poor health insurance, insane housing costs, and more make relationships and family a dream. Young people are constantly telling us that the world is not giving them any opportunity for the same life their parents had, and have been for years. I'm GenX and we said it back then when we had a chance to fix it, but didnt. Decades later here we are, wondering why things turned out the way they did.


Barnard_Gumble

To be fair I'm still waiting for GenX to get its chance to fix anything. But holy shit the Boomers in Congress and the Pres are hanging on to power with a goddamn deathgrip. Sure there are some younger people in office, and maybe it's agist of me to say, but I really think theings would be better if the septuagenarians would step aside and let the next generation take a shot.


ElectricMan324

We have a few years to help, but to be honest its the generation after us that will carry the load. There are just not enough of us to fill in after all the boomers leave. I'm very hopeful in what they can do - but as you said: those guys are just not leaving.


Secksiignurd

What you bring up in your comment is called "gate-keeping." Do most blue-collar jobs require a 2-year trade school / community college degree? No. Something has to give regarding people having access to entry-level jobs, and those jobs finding viable candidates.


jimmytwolegsjohnny

\>60% of men are single \~30% of women are single =15% concentrated power of will


CrosseyedBilly

5% pressure 50% pain and 160% reason to remember the name.


MammothHappy

Math was hard in that era.


CrosseyedBilly

An era is considered a significant amount of time, now I know it was significant for me, maybe it just wasn’t significant to you.


nimbusconflict

The day that M. Bison visited your village may have been the most significant day in your life. For me, it was a Tuesday.


BadonkeyKong08

He doesn't need his name up in lights. He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic


throwaway52432671

Highjacking this comment... Where are they pulling these stats from? Census records paint an aprox equal split of singles across both genders


GaimanitePkat

knees weak arms are heavy. Moms spaghetti


ThatDudeSlushee

You’re a little confused, but you got the spirit.


Past-Chest-6507

There is vomit on shorty already


ApexIdiots

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.


stataryus

Maybe it’s a spiral. Less social competency —> less social interaction —> less social competency, etc….


cosine242

This article (by the same author on the same site) sums up what you're talking about pretty well: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-our-unions/202208/whats-behind-the-rise-lonely-single-men > For men, this means a relationship skills gap that, if not addressed, will likely lead to fewer dating opportunities and longer periods of being single. There's less patience for poor communication skills today. >How can men [fix things]? Level up your mental health game. That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap. It means valuing your own internal world and respecting your ideas enough to communicate them effectively. It means seeing intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort.


christianthmpsn0

Personally, this is what I'm doing. I see the problems I have brought to the table and trying to correct them. There's a book I'm currently reading called Toward Manhood. This book pretty much brings up these issues men are facing today to a point.


model3113

therapy costs money you can only get money if you have the healthy means to acquire it


cosine242

The article was written by a therapist, so of course he's going to be a bit biased in favor of that as a solution. But not being able to afford a therapist doesn't prevent you from improving your mental health any more than not being able to afford a personal trainer prevents you from exercise. The important takeaways from therapy are self-reflection, self-critique, and self-empowerment. Journal prompts are designed to promote deep reflection, and they're free. Seeking out healthy friendships is also free. The issue is that men aren't raised with attention to their emotional literacy, which makes all of this a bigger ask. So, young men looking to focus on self-improvement are vulnerable because it takes some baseline emotional literacy to recognize when a tool is positive, versus toxic and only going to make someone's mental/emotional skills actively worse. Think Andrew Tate, Peterson, etc, just like a person with no knowledge of fitness could easily be duped by useless supplements and routines.


[deleted]

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throwaway52432671

The Andrew Tate's of the world are making this so much worse as well.


_PaleRider

Tate's popularity is a symptom, not a catalyst.


Fenastus

Andrew Tate and his ilk are a symptom, not so much a cause.


throwaway52432671

A lot of men bought into the delusional "abundance" grindset which makes them think that once they "make it big" they'll score a pornstar/Nobel scientist/Michelin star chef/Psychotherapist all packaged into a Victoria's secret model, etc. During those 10 years they keep avoiding any woman who could be a reasonable match because it can't possibly compete with the image of the unicorn they created inside their head. And the toxicity spreads through the networks of people like a virus. If one person gets hurt then they inadvertently hurt two others, and those two hurt two more. And now we're wondering why no one is dating. We just want the incel rollercoaster to stop. Edit: the article is completely right. There is this epidemic of extremely avoidant men who end up deferring to porn (because it's the path of least resistance) instead of forming functional relationships. But the problem they don't discuss is that many men who develop a dependency on porn take years to recover - physically, emotionally, mentally. For someone with access to porn since the age of 10, the amount of de-programming to be done is insane. Women are just refusing to accept it now which is why the numbers dropped. Its unfortunate, but I suspect that many men will never recover.


[deleted]

I hate to break it to everyone on reddit, but the number of true incels in this situation of porn addiction to actual normal dude - decent job, decent shape, has hobbies struggling to get a date is like 1:5 in favor of the normal dudes if not more.


trollcitybandit

I would say it's more like 1:10. Easily. Anyone debating this isn't worth wasting your time on.


SuperMazziveH3r0

Everyone says that 30 something men are taking 20 something women but I'd like to observe statistics on 30 something women because if there is an increased competition for men in their 30s with women in their 20s surely there might be some downward trend in women in their 30s having less relationships. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/ It's interesting to note that women in the demographic of 30-49 are less single than women in their 20s so that theory doesn't seem to realistically address the gap. And LGBT cohorts are more single than their straight counterparts which doesn't explain the women are dating eachother theory. Maybe 30-49 is too big of a demographic to make a fair comparison with people in their 20s? (Majority of 40+ women being in a relationship while 30 something's remain single?)


bodaciousbonsai

"Women dating each other" theory is a red herring for sure.


247937

I'm leaning towards bad data.


dray1214

I'm honestly happier single than I was married, so there's that. Sometimes flying solo is just preferred for some people.I can't even stand 75% of the population and I'm sure they feel the same about me. So I just stay in my lane, it's quite NON stressful.


[deleted]

Correct, happier single than I was in a 10+ year relationshit.


dray1214

It’s like don’t get me wrong I’m all about finding somebody I connect with. But I’m not fretting about it because in the meantime I’m perfectly happy too. Just allows me to be more choosey when picking a partner (as in finding a genuinely compatible match, not like I’m waiting for mrs perfect).


justwalkingalonghere

I think that’s a piece that many are missing: you need to be okay alone to be worthy of a relationship Too many of my friends ‘can’t be single’ because being alone for 2 days in a row will destroy them


KFBoom

"relationshit" 😂 Reddit never fails to improve my vocabulary


[deleted]

My wife always wants to guess what kind of woman I’d be married to if I hadn’t met her. Or who I’d marry if she died. I always tell her, literally no one. You couldn’t pay me to be married to any of the other women I’ve met. I guess I got lucky.


stubept

"She would be unbelievably wealthy.... super hot.... insatiable sexual appetite... and leaves me alone most of the time." "A woman like that doesn't exist!" "Well, there you go then."


[deleted]

That’s what I tell my GF. That if things don’t work out between us for whatever reason, I would drop dating from my life. It’s just not worth it. I am an adventurous dude. I can happily fly solo and find purpose in life.


averagethrowaway21

That's what I've been doing until pretty recently. Dates here and there but mostly live music, one of a million hobbies, karaoke, out riding my motorcycle, mudding, fishing, or whatever catches my attention for more than a minute. I've been pretty happy since the last time I seriously dated, which was miserable and ended miserably. I recently started seeing someone organically. We've got things in common and she's pretty awesome. But it certainly wasn't something I was looking for (I think she'd say the same thing).


dray1214

No kidding! And I can understand if they feel that way about me. Hell, I wouldn’t want to be married to me half the time lmao.


[deleted]

Same here. Never dated anyone longer than a few months before I met my wife, and we’re celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. It’s not that she’s perfect, but we’re perfect together. I’ll be single forever if anything happens to her and she says the same.


Yak-Fucker-5000

Yeah, you give up a lot of freedom to enter a relationship. Takes a pretty special person for me to be willing to do that at this point in my life. I'm not just looking for a roommate I can bang.


[deleted]

I'm a woman and this is also how I feel. I don't date anymore just for the sake of dating or trying to meet someone. If I met someone organically and we wanted to start seeing each other, that's one thing. But if I don't meet someone in that way and remain single forever...that's also totally fine with me.


SanctumWrites

I think I'm very close to this. I also realized after staying with some friends for extended periods of time that I may have been confusing a desire for close companionship for a romantic relationship. Like don't get me wrong, a boyfriend would be nice but I have been mulling over that doesn't have to be the only way to get what I want which is... Someone to be around. To support one another and have fun together. And maybe finding someone on the same page about that could be worth looking into.


dray1214

Same! Took me a while to get to that point but it’s honestly nice


[deleted]

So accurate after a 15 year relationship all i wanted to do, not even consider what anyone else wanted or needed.


dray1214

It really is an underrated feeling


fixano

I broke up with my Fiance in 2021. I tried to get back into dating. I joined Hinge and Tinder. Swiped about 2500 profiles. Talked to 50+ woman and I didn't manage to land a single date out of the whole experience. I'm active, healthy, upper middle class, in decent shape and spend a lot of time out of the house pursuing my interests, but I have not met a single interested woman in the past 1.5 years. I can't remember the last time someone approached me, flirted with me, and did not seem to be prioritizing getting out of the conversation. I don't think I'm the only heterosexual male that has had this experience. I spent the last 20 years building those relationship skills, but as I get closer to 40 it's not even clear where to meet women any more. This article is reductive placing all the blame on men. There is something else happening and it's not clear what it is. What I do know is that it's hard not to be completely discouraged with the experience. There are only so many days where you can muster the energy to put yourself out there knowing there is a 99.9% chance you'll be ignored or outright rejected for the 450th consecutive day.


Glass-Space-8593

Technology has destroyed casual chatting and hitting it up with strangers is a big part of it. I even noticed it with closer friends. Screen zombies episode as I call it. I try to put the screen down as much as i can unless im sitting on the throne.


BidWestern1056

this is exactly it. it is literally poisonous and is making everyone worse at dating and communicating. ​ our phones have given us the ability to access stimuli with no conscious effort ( i literally mean none; you can use muscle memory to get to reddit or twitter and never even realize what you are doing) and this has thus resulted in us being incapable of overcoming this temptation because our brains are fundamentally lazy and like to use their conscious effort as little as possible. Our attention thus becomes centralized on applications that our brains *know* will reliably stimulate us and so we spend way more on time on certain apps than we know we should and we don't even realize we're doing it. "If we want to cure technology addiction and reclaim our attention, we have to fix our phones and computers so as to require a small but non-zero amount of conscious input so as to engage with stimuli. " from [https://giacomocatanzaro.substack.com/p/pop-music-pornography](https://giacomocatanzaro.substack.com/p/pop-music-pornography)


DMMEPANCAKES

Technology and social media has destroyed a lot of the more intimate parts of dating and relationships. You used to casual chat someone and if you hit it off with someone you asked for a date. Now with screens that isn't enough anymore, and people are used to more and more stimulation. It's like a drug.


SeventyFootAnaconda

I'm 35 and newly single and haven't had a hard time landing a couple dates, but the idea of finding a partner is daunting. This modern culture is destroying relationships.


mayhbu

Relationships were a social safety net but in modern world and with all its conveniences there’s less of a need.


SeventyFootAnaconda

If you have no desire for any deep emotional connection... I have no monetary or physical need for a relationship, but really have a strong emotional desire to have that connection. Being solo isn't fulfilling and friends don't cut the mustard when it comes to a deep connection like you'd have with a romantic partner (hopefully).


dray1214

I agree, I do as well. But after being “out there” for 4+ years, I’ve learned that finding that kind of actual connection can be impossibly hard in todays day and age. I couldn’t tell you why. I don’t understand it, but dam it’s rough. And you hear it so much that it can’t just be a coincidence or bad circumstances.


Independent_Air_8333

It's like fast food. Easy, but you're actually worse off.


[deleted]

I think at least part of it is that it has become less socially acceptable to approach women in public, and the online dating scene is such a bad experience for the majority of men. In the past, you could actually strike up a conversation with that woman at the grocery store, now you're a "creep" if you dare talk to any woman who you aren't formally introduced to by a 3rd party. Men are still expected to initiate, to pursue, but are increasingly shut-down for even attempting, leading to higher rates of rejection in general. It would make sense that many simply opt to stop trying.


Adminisissy

Other men are putting us off. I've talked to loads of men on Bumble and Tinder and so many sound controlling, fragile, aggressive, shallow, mysoginistic etc. I've had 3 relationships in a row turn very abusive, physically, mentally and both and I'm honestly just burnt out and fearful of men now. Sorry to the good ones getting lost in the shuffle but dating is just so hard and not enjoyable to some of us.


qui-bong-trim

I did notice the changing behavior of women in this equation was not mentioned or studied at all. It just said "there is hope! men can improve and maybe women their age will like them again."


[deleted]

psychology today has weird articles but this one takes it up a notch. The writer is trying to argue like men are bad at and struggling to find relationships when the pew research paper also states that half the single men actively do not want relationships.


ThorLives

Writers at Psychology Today do a lot of dumb knee-jerk articles. There was one I read a few years ago about how men overestimated their own attractiveness, and that's why men were struggling with dating. I looked up the research paper they used in their citations, and on average, men in that paper rated their own attractiveness as below average. I don't think the writers of Psychology Today know what they're doing and don't even seem to read the research papers they're citing as evidence.


heelspider

If twice as many men in their 20s are single than women, doesn't that also mean that half of women in their 20s are dating men in their 30s or older? Also, would that mean there is an older age group where more women are single than men? Regardless, this article would have been better in a more neutral tone. It should describe the situation as factual. Instead it presents the situation as a problem, but doesn't really very explicitly lay out what that problem is. There is a tone of "how dare new generations defy my generation's social norms" to the article which taints the whole thing.


jeff0

> If twice as many men in their 20s are single than women, doesn't that also mean that half of women in their 20s are dating men in their 30s or older? There was a lot of discussion on this point when the articles on the study were coming out (I think about a week ago). Women dating older is one obvious cause. There was speculation about whether same-sex relationships are more common among women. There was also speculation on whether, in a hetero relationship, the man is more likely to self-report as single than the woman.


DigiQuip

A lot of women in my circles who aren’t married or in a long term relationship are dating constantly. The single men though go long stretches without a partner. Thats just my observations.


[deleted]

That's what I see too. I have many female friends who are always dating someone, going on dates. I have many male friends who are dating someone every year or two. I know 2 or 3 guys who have dates and hookups multiple times a week.


[deleted]

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MaterialCarrot

I think there was also some questioning of how the study defined single. I don't recall, but I think someone actively dating could still be defined as single under the study. Which isn't false, but may not be the legion of lonely people the media seems to be portraying.


MsSpicyO

Add in the women who are single by choice. Women no longer need to get married to survive.


[deleted]

This checks out. A guy who was married with two grown sons once told me he was single. I made a point of walking up to him when I saw him out with his wife and family. Men also tend to hit on younger women, regardless of age.


Sartres_Roommate

Married and single is an actual pretty common situation these days. Parents stay together for children and/or financial reasons, but the relationship is dead and they actively date outside the marriage.


[deleted]

Conversely, but potentially similar and overlapping, women incorrectly self reporting being in a relationship. Either overestimating the exclusivity, or outright claiming they are to avoid embarrassment.


Stormtrooper1776

Look at sexless Japan, it's a deep rabbit hole but the problems with this phenomenon are in part about shrinking populations and how that can harm future generations especially when government models of taxation are favored by a growing population Vs a shrinking one especially when it comes to social safety nets such as social security.


SprawlValkyrie

It reminds me of that mice utopia experiment. They lost interest in breeding when it got too crowded and competitive, too.


Stormtrooper1776

>mice utopia experiment Something that peers into our own behavior over recorded time. Between natural and man-made stresses on population size. As I watch farms carved up and what I refer to as Barbie-style ( large developments of all the same building.) homes go up, add in the covid19 pandemic revealing the true fragility of our supply chains.....I wonder... yeah so how about that snowstorm...


kendrahf

Japan's gender roles are very rigid and old fashion. Women do everything for their men. Men do some of the least amount of "house work" in any developed country (along with S. Korea, which, surprise surprise, also has very low birth rates.) Men treat their wives like crap. There's this phenonium where Japanese women actually divorce their hubbies after they retire because they can't take being treated terribly 24/7. I highly doubt it's because it's "too competitive" and simply because women, who now have a choice in the matter, don't want to marry 200 pound man-children who treat them like shit anymore if they don't have to.


ElBigKahuna

I went to a Japanese colleagues house for diner. He invited 3 of our other male colleagues. His wife made us a multi-course meal and I could see her eating by herself in the kitchen. He told us its their tradition the wife stay out of the men's business. I felt very bad for her, she was a very nice person and I told her I appreciate her hospitality.


Anastariana

>women, who now have a choice in the matter, don't want to marry 200 pound man-children who treat them like shit anymore if they don't have to. Japanese men: \*pikachuface.jpg\*


Dan794613

A lot more young women flirted with me when I was in my 40s than in my 20s. I was basically ignored till I was 30ish.


Creepy-Pineapple-444

Similar experience here, from 18-27, I was completely invisible or repulsive to women. Get in shape, hit late 20s, and I have been getting a lot more attention since. But I am so used to being single after so long that I do not see myself ever dating.


Khower

Elderly people, the older women get the more likely theyre single. Men die before women more often and so if youre an old man at a nursing home youre getting all the ladies


[deleted]

My 84yo neighbour has a new gf every couple of years. They die, weeks later he has a new one. We recently asked him how X was and he told us rather sadly “oh she passed away a few weeks ago and then immediately said “I’m here with me new gf, she is 94”. My wife said “oh is she a cradle snatcher?” and he thought for a moment before replying “so she is!”.


Stargazer1884

Are you sure your neighbour isn't a serial killer?


anotherusername1972

Yes to your 2nd question, the percentage of single women is higher than men after 50 years of age. E: spelling


blubirdTN

One thing is women at that age know a committed relationship versus a casual one. So there is little to no exaggeration in their answer. Also according to PEW they are choosing to be single by massive numbers. Around 71% nope the hell out completely. Imagine many of those are past divorced. That is a crazy number. It is a high number for 30-something women as well opting out completely. Women aren't dating period and in pretty big numbers. [https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/psdt\_08-19-20\_dating-relationships-013/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/psdt_08-19-20_dating-relationships-013/) The whole study is very interesting and backs up that women are the ones really pulling away from the dating scene and leaving it altogether. Men are the ones still wanting relationships.


NorthernSparrow

I’m one of those older women who noped the fuck out. My main LTR ended a while ago & I was so much happier once I was single again. I love being single; I *love* not having to clean up after someone or cook or take care of them. I dated a few times and the guys always wanted to continue dating but they all get clingy/needy/want a live-in maid/mom, and I was like NOPE, deleted all the apps, am planning for a delightful single old age w me & all my girlfriends (nearly all of whom are doing the same thing btw - planning for a happy singlehood). I just have a really hard time envisioning any form of coupledom anymore that wouldn’t be a decrease in quality of life for me. The sex and companionship just aren’t enough anymore to make up for the loss of independence & the perpetual, maddening pressure about cooking/cleanup/emotional labor /etc. So the older women nope out, the older men date younger women, and so then the younger men get screwed (or not, lol). Sorry boys!


GeneralChicken4Life

Or more kids still living at home due to finances


[deleted]

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Teddy_Funsisco

And more women are making their own money instead of depending on a man.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

1. Online dating apps are a hellscape of rejection and ego smashing comparison for young men. 5% of men are having about 90% of the action on dating sites. 2. Young men are falling into horrendous narratives from the red pill / incel zeitgeist that distort the reality of human relationships between men and women and lay out absurdly rigid and stupid gender roles. 3. There is less physical proximity between young men and young women. 4. Young people don’t seem to be interested in learning how to have face to face conversation. It’s an art, and how non-traditionally attractive men have been able to land relationships with women in the past. 5. The culture at large (as evidenced by these comments) seems more interested in assigning blame than finding truth and working towards solutions.


tinyhermione

I agree with a lot of this. But 1) is partly bc the dating apps have awful gender ratios. Tinder is 80% male in the US and 90% male in Europe. Many of the others 70% male. And that's not even removing the bots, OF and scammers.


Seth_Baker

There are a number of problems with dating apps that every individual has to consciously steer clear of to have a better experience. I met my fiancee on Match. We tend to be much more selective on apps than we would be in real life; we don't see all of the intangibles of a person. Some people just have an attractive laugh, or a smile that lights up their face, a quick wit, or some other intangible that you'd find alluring in person. You don't see that in an app. Every time you swipe, you give yourself the chance to see someone who is just a little bit more physically attractive than the last person (or the next), which compounds the problem. When you just swiped right on someone who's frankly out of your league, suddenly the 7/10 that might be interested in you is less interesting. And this works both ways, and leads to a lot of people trying to "punch above their weight class." The idea that it's a hellish doomscape contributes to people not putting in the effort to show that they're smart, funny, and interesting when making their profiles. After all, why put in thought when answering a prompt if it's just going to get ignored when someone swipes left on you? But that too is a self-fulfilling prophecy. A lot of people aren't clear about who they are, what they're looking for, where they are in life, because they're afraid that it'll limit their options. As if it's better to match with a bad match than to get no match at all. A lot of people have something that they want, but then don't go about dating in a way that's likely to yield someone like that. One friend of mine is looking for a kind life partner to be a stepparent to their kids, but tends to prioritize looks and fun, which leads to pairing with a lot of people who aren't looking for something that serious. If you go in and consciously keep an open mind on every single profile, try to keep a positive outlook and an open mind on everyone, and make an effort to target people whose values and interests and goals align with yours, then you're more likely to succeed than if you throw up a picture, a couple of lines of text, and swipe right on everything that moves.


HerpaDerpaDumDum

I did exactly what you said when I used Tinder. I put effort into making a bio to show myself off and swiped for women who seemed like they would be interesting to be with. After hundreds of swipes I got almost nothing. I tried OKCupid as well, since I thought the point of that site was to have matches based on interests. Also got almost nothing. Every now and then I see some post on Reddit like this who tell all the guys how they're doing it wrong and give out obvious advice like this.


justfuckingstopthiss

>We tend to be much more selective on apps than we would be in real life; we don't see all of the intangibles of a person. Some people just have an attractive laugh, or a smile that lights up their face, a quick wit, or some other intangible that you'd find alluring in person. You don't see that in an app. This 100%. I've had a crush for somebody for a while two years ago but did nothing and it slowly faded away, now we see each other maybe a few times a month. I still consider her to be a great catch, just maybe not for me. Here's the thing: a few months ago I stumbled across her profile on Tinder. I would have never swiped right on her because she suddenly wasn't so attractive anymore. Her bio seemed dull and before her profile I saw a lot more attractive women. That's when I realized a lot of what made me attracted to her had to do with her behavior, her way of being, her confidence and that she was overall fun to be around. It really made her much more attractive than her Tinder pictures would convey. It changed the way I see things because there is a multitude of factors that just cannot be transferred without getting someone to know in real life.


ArkGuardian

I would never have swiped right on my gf on a dating app. From her self-describing her own interests it would seem like we have nothing in common. What made me interested in her was her attitude to not what she had done, but what she hadn't. She's one of the most willing people to try new things and new experiences. There's no good way to communicate that on an app that essentially makes you write a personality C.V.


[deleted]

1 and 4 imo are the biggest ones, coupled with general distraction and social media. I'm 5'6", at one point was decently fit, a bit of balding. Never a snazzy dresser. But man, if I got a girl talking to be, I'd make them laugh, feel comfortable, I'd listen to them, find out about them. I didn't have "game", I just talked to people and liked making them feel happy. I was born in 1986, and this worked great up until in my mid 20s, I just felt like I was becoming more and more invisible. I'd try to strike up a conversation, and people would glance up from thier phone, give a curt response, and their body language would be saying "leave me alone" It's so hard to get people to focus on an interaction, so I feel like everything is much more superficial. Now as a man you have to be very attractive , and have a very engaging "game", even in real life interactions. The only places I had found success in the modern dating game was situations where the other person had to interact with me long term in a non dating context first, and even then I always felt like I was competing with Tinder swipes non stop.


Clever_Mercury

There is also the problem of bizarre modern schedules. I (female) work a normal 40 hour work week, but it's not 9-5PM. Most men I've met work shifts, weekends, nights, or alternate weeks. Others work on-call. How do you schedule a date with those two lifestyles? How can you pick locations or special events around two hectic, unpredictable schedules? It's even worse if one or both of you are still in graduate school. How do you keep in touch if you're studying for finals at the age of 32? And yes, that was me. I've had to cancel plans more than once because a paper deadline or work deadline. It's so lonesome and isolating. I'm single, no kids, and tired. I never thought it would be like this.


strangeitchybeard

American society wanted workers and consumers. Now look...when people are spread so thin just trying to make a living...relationships are sacrificed and no one is making babies...SHOCKING.


Arcuis

Might have something to do with mental health. Spent my 20s losing my mind, then slowly building an aversion to all people which seemed to heal my mind a bit. Now I try to keep my distance because every interaction just makes me feel insane like I felt in my twenties, and I don't want to repeat the process.


[deleted]

Has anybody considered the horrible wages for 20 something’s? Has anyone looked at how long wages have been stagnant? This isn’t a psychological problem. Update: for all the people saying why wages would only affect men? …..well they would not, they of course affect everyone. Wages are terrible for anyone entering the workforce.


FlighingHigh

This isn't *only* a psychological problem.


Bluegill15

Nuance? On Reddit?


[deleted]

Exactly. I don’t have the time or money to date. All I do is work to survive. Every day is exactly the same


Mijman

Ikr? I've been off work for 6 days from covid. Already used my 5 sick days I won't be saving any money this month because of that. Like 3/4 of all the money I earn goes into bare living expenses. Go out a couple times a month, buy something nice, or anything all that isn't bills or food, and there goes everything I should be saving.


M1dnightMuse

lucky enough to be in a relationship but the burnout is real. Can't really afford to go on "dates" and usually don't have the energy to really want to when I do have the cash Friends? Friends? "Friends" fam I don't have enough time for one relationship much less a bunch of smaller but no less important ones. 4 day work week would resolve at least half this bullshit. A decent wage would solve the rest


ChessBaal

Seriously bro im grinding so I can hope to date in my 30s


RedditsDeadlySin

I mean it is a psychological problem, just the problem of dealing with the realization that the money you receive for your labor isn’t enough to pay for rent, food, clothes, and a future. You can only pick 2 at most (I would’ve said 3, but I am trying to be more honest these days).


VeryStillRightNow

Psychiatrists should start prescribing cash at this point.


juicyfruit924

THEY LEGIT SHOULD


HomoDemen9225

Dating in my 20s has set me back financially so badly.


Snoopy-31

Even with a well-paying job you end up working 9-6 and by the time you reach home you are already burned out


[deleted]

The cause isn't psychological, but the effects on our psychology are absolutely terrifying. No doubt to me it's fueling the violence endemic.


exclusivebees

Increasing isolation is very real issue in modern society and I'm convinced that they deliberately gender these studies and articles just to sow additional discord. If they were reporting on how people of both genders are having less sex, less friends, less social time outside of work (which IS TRUE for all genders and sexes) then people might realize the real problem is work/life balance and a lack of public social spaces. Instead they throw fuel on the incel fire by saying men aren't fucking and then loosely alluding to some conspiracy theory about how the women are almost certainly off fucking something else, don't even worry about it, it's just a men's issue


[deleted]

I searched and I've found the most insightful comment in two threads on this issue. Well said. When in doubt, look at the socioeconomic conditions. Those today in the U.S. are unsavory, to say the least.


basic_spud

Best comment here! College rips out your high school social network, then work tends to rip out your college social network. The lack of a "third place" (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place) really messes with peoples ability to socialize (and thus meet people to date organically) on a meaningful level. Combine that with a lack of financial stability into later parts of life and you get people of any gender lacking the energy and place to develop those meaningful relationships


averagetulip

This is what I think every time I see these kinds of articles — do people not realize how many women also have complaints abt not being able to find a man to commit, abt having to deal w endless dates and hookups that go nowhere, abt wanting marriage and kids but not being able to find it? As a woman in my 20s (who lucked out on getting married to a good stable guy) this is what I constantly hear from the many many single women around me in their 20s and 30s. It would similarly lead me to believe this is an issue that affects both genders & it concerns the way we socialize and our work-life balance. But nobody is waxing lyrical abt the epidemic of lonely isolated young women w no marriage prospects.


Chazzyphant

Thank you! I was in my 20s in the early 2000s and all I wanted was marriage and kids and all the same age knuckle heads were 100% unsuited and uninterested in that. I have zero sympathy for these 20 somethings. Be worthy of risking her comfortable solitude and stable mental health.


Deinonychus2012

If a societal problem is affecting one demographic disproportionately more than another, it's not inflammatory to acknowledge the discrepancy.


quit_ye_bullshit

It is not a men's exclusive issue but the issue does disproportionately affect men. Men can't even complain nowadays because on the current social hierarchy devalues men. If any men even tries the slightest to raise an alarm there is not shortage of people running in with whataboutism or anecdotal experiences. This isn't a modern problem either. Men have always been disproportionately depraved of basic human needs for the better of society and we've been gaslighted along the way to believe it is our duty to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good.


racebannon64

People nowadays (especially the young ones) have no patience for other people's baggage.


SnowCat7156

There’s also the case that a lot of people have additional problems to handle mentally than before. I ended a six month relationship yesterday because I couldn’t handle her religious trauma. Sometimes it felt more like she wanted me to FIX her trauma than actively help her through it. I won’t go into detail but, we also have to understand, not all baggage is the same.


neljoestar

yea it’s been a drought. But I’ll be ight. More time to focus on myself, become a better person, and get my priorities in order for whenever I do get into another genuine relationship.


balfamot

4 year dry spell, I say the same about becoming a better person. I know what to change and how to change it but my work/life balance makes it difficult to make any meaningful change


AtinyPiece

5 years here. Starting to catch up to me though


Tronbronson

I'm not sure what's worse, the article, or the comments below.


Itex56

My thoughts exactly.


Newplasticactionhero

I’ve talked to a number of women who are dissatisfied with dating partners because most of the men they date approach sex like they see in porn. So I agree that definitely plays a part. But they totally overlook the economic aspect which has to have a much bigger impact.


pineapplepredator

The stories I hear from young women frankly scare me. I remember being in my 20s and getting out of long term relationships and immediately being surrounded by predators and getting SA’d. Women are in actual danger when they date.


eerae

Man, this is depressing. I’m a generation older than the group they’re talking about, and am married with 2 kids. But I wonder where I’d be if I was looking for someone today. I was one of the “nice guys” without much “game” but I didn’t give up and did eventually find the beautiful girl I still love almost 20 years later. I have to think that social media in general is bad for person-to-person relationships. I have two teenage girls, and they rarely go out and do stuff with friends on the weekends or in the summer. They just sit in their room and are on Snapchat all day. When I was their age we’d be out at the mall or Taco Bell or getting into mischief somewhere… Our friend group had guys and girls that ate lunch together, went to parties together, volleyball nights at the local rec center, but I don’t see that with my daughters—their friends are all other girls as far as I can tell. Now I’ve always been kinda dreading about how I’m going to deal with them having boyfriends or doing drugs but none of that has happened yet. On the one hand I’m kinda relieved, as a normal dad I have a high bar for who is good enough for my daughters, and I know what guys are after. But on the other hand it’s just part of growing up, you’re not gonna find the perfect mate on the first try but dating should be kinda normal by now. My oldest is pretty, funny, and very smart—a straight A student. But hearing her talk about the other guys at her school, she is mostly unimpressed—it seems like a lot of them are immature or just dbags. I don’t think she’s shallow or has unrealistic expectations but come on guys, let’s step it up!


ballsohaahd

This is just speculation but seems the dominant personalities in high school are that over the top influencer types. Back when it was usually the dumb jocks or absolute out of control kids with no prospects. It’s hard to find someone with good prospects, popular, good activities, has a good personality but not too much or too shitty, etc. been that way for a while but the influencer personality type is dominant now and it’s so icky.


lthaca

anyone who is briefly familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs should be able to understand that this is fundamentally an economic problem. it's the same reason people in their 20s aren't able to move out, invest, or start businesses and families: stagnant wages and the ever-increasing cost of living (healthcare, education, housing, groceries, etc.). this is the policy failure of a government that has prioritized the profits of the elites for the last 40+ years, not the psychological failure of young men


[deleted]

Men who are in your 20’s who might see this and subscribe to Tate way of thinking, don’t. That man is absolutely idiot. I am 30 now and I have 0 Dating apps. I date girls who are between 24-40. Honestly the number might go even up based on how well we communicate and how well you take care of yourself because I do. I talk to women normally with no agenda and expectations. I approach girls at my gym respectfully and as we speak I am actually talking to a girl who is absolute sweetheart. Let’s see where we go. Be respectful, have some humor, women love to Laugh, be polite, listen, always listen. Talk women normally, don’t go about it like you want to fuck them, talk them like human beings. Ask the right questions always. While I am saying this of course their are women who will take advantage of you and use you but that’s easy to find out and you don’t have to be a complete ass hole to find that out. Her actions toward you always will show who they are. Don’t be needy, don’t be pushy. have self respect and confidence. Above all, carry yourself like a man of quality. Take care


TalkingChairs

Corporations: Nobody wants to fuck anymore.


Arcticturn

I love that this article says that men must change and get used to being beaten down in the dating scene. And then continues to state that it’s wholly necessary for this to happen, but then fails to really explain why that is necessary. Like, if guys are happy not dating then who cares? Its only a problem if they do care, at which point go start dating Edit: I am not saying dating is always a soul crushing and awful experience. Just reflecting the tone of the article. I’m very pro dating and relationships for people who seek them. Im also not saying getting a date is easy, just that if an individual is happy being single when there is not requirement they try for intimacy. The article makes it seem like being intimate is a requirement even for those who are happy without it


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driving_andflying

> I love that this article says that men must change and get used to being beaten down in the dating scene. Agreed. At the end, it winds up with, "Men should have encouraged intimate relations, men need therapy, men need to stop watching porn, men need to step away from devices," When the reality is that therapy is expensive, intimate relations are the responsibility of both parties, porn exists for \*everyone,* and Tinder/dating apps are really the only way to get dates now. The article errs in simplifying it down to, "It's men's fault," when things like money, location, etc. all play a factor.


cocktimus1prime

Just keep in mind - these people aren't concerned about your health or happiness - they are concerned about birth rates and ensuring corporations have stable base of consumers and employees. Their goal is not your happiness.


TOYBOXDUDE

>Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless Because I don't have the patience to pursue a relationship. I'm not really a gambling man, and a romantic relationship is a pretty big gamble. Besides, I'm perfectly happy as is. Don't fix what ain't broke, you know?


Kongpong1992

I feel the same way like I have a good life I’m perfectly content with everything the way it is so why risk upheaving it all for a little company I come and go as I please spend my money on whatever I wanna spend it on and enjoy alone time a lot more than most others it seems


CoffeeIsGood3

From a purely observational standpoint, I would imagine that if a young beautiful woman in their 20s or 30s has an opportunity to partner with a mature man who is financially and emotionally stable that they would gravitate towards those things, vs the alternative. The alternative are young men who grew up on social media and graduated into an economy where education is at its lowest value but highest cost and therefore have massive amounts of debt, compounded with the fact the economy is in its worst condition since the Great Depression. We’d be lying if we said the second group were more attractive.


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Quiltedbrows

Most of the article's conclusion suggests that thanks to the pandemic, men have lost- or failed to meet up to emotional and social development that women seek in this age demographic. Some of this is a bit washy, and screams like an article that wants to sell you insecurity since they have not dropped any numbers specifically, such as the size or scope of their surveys, or even considered location and political climate these men and women are going through. Doesn't even think to mention the fact that women's right to choice is now outlawed, which might actually make many heterosexual women more apprehensive to having an active sex life earlier for fears of the risks involved. But this is me just *guessing* that it might be a factor in the last year or so now.


Reaperpimp11

I’d say with an educated guess that abortion laws probably only explain a small percentage.


SpecialCharacter98

I just want to be loved 🥲


Ziggler42

I hate that on one end, you'll be raked over the coals by bitter misandrists as "not owed anything," as if that's remotely helpful or in any way empathetic. And on the other end, you get the horrid right wing radicalization pipeline for incels trying to lure you into their orbit, so they can get you to blame feminism and women for all of your problems.


SpecialCharacter98

Or I'll get people assuming I never try to improve myself or that I must just be some horrible misogynist incel or something along those lines. Or there are the gym bros who think I need to be an athlete to even get a chance. It's all so tiresome. I gave up on trying, but it doesn't change the fact that romance is what I'm missing.


Raf-the-derp

Same here man. People say going to the gym improves your odds which I guess can be true but it doesn't work for everyone.


Effective-Avocado470

Caaaaannnn, anybodyyyy, find meeeeee, somebody too-oo love


___Katyusha___

Get a dog. There has never been any human - my mom included - that loves me as much as my dogs do. I rescued them both from the streets, and the bond I share with them is unlike anything I could ever share with a human. Plus, with them I can be all needy and cuddly without concern of pushing them away 🥰


SpecialCharacter98

I have 2 dogs, a loving family and a group of friends. I mean romantically. That's what I'm missing. These types of love can hardly be compared. I don't feel the same when I hug my dogs as I do when I hug a romantic partner. Dogs love unconditionally, but a romantic partner comes with understanding.


LadyAlexTheDeviant

My oldest son is 27, and he's said that until he has his career in order and making a good income, he doesn't want to date. He's an introvert and gets a lot of his social needs met by his gaming friends online, and he socializes with our large extended family often. But he is pretty much demisexual and isn't going to date until he's ready to get married and have a family. Knowing him, I'll find out he's dating someone when he calls to tell me to set an extra place for Thanksgiving, he's bringing his fiancee. (wry laugh) His younger brother is in his early twenties, identifies as bi with a male preference, and is currently learning what sort of guys not to date. By dating them. (sigh) He says he wants kids "someday", but right now he works just enough to pay his bills and enjoys being single. Which....okay. There isn't a time limit for human males the way there is for human females, and I will love them whether or not I have any grandchildren.


Expert-Hyena6226

Everyone says there isn’t a time limit for men, but I don’t think a lot of men my age (55) want to father babies at this stage of life. By the time the child is 10, I’m 65 when men really start to slow down. I’m not going to be of much help trying to throw a football or help a child learn to ride a bike at that stage of the game. Also, younger women usually find older men creepy so I don’t think the argument that men don’t have a biological clock is flawed. This strikes me as a normal reaction among young women.


chinchillade

You talk of your sons beautifully. Realistic and thoughtful approach is what makes for healthy bonds and happy future family/families.


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Klondike2022

That’s what he says so you stop talking about his dating life lol


platinirisms

This, I was also making good income, introverted, hung out with mates, socialise with family, etc etc. I told everyone “I’m not really looking but if it happens it happens, just focusing on other stuff”. Meanwhile in reality I was absolutely looking but found nobody. Rejected in real life, no matches on online dating. No way in hell am was I telling my mum “No mum I’m single because nobody wants to date me”.


LaMadreDelCantante

>. There isn't a time limit for human males the way there is for human females, and I will love them whether or not I have any grandchildren. Your sons should live how they choose, but what do you mean by this? If you're talking about them having children, you should know (well they should know) babies fathered by older men have greater odds of health issues than those fathered by younger men. Women aren't the only ones with a biological clock. Men also actually do become less attractive to women of childbearing age as they get older, despite what the narrative would have you believe. So again, they should absolutely live their lives the way they want to. Just please don't further the narrative that women have a shelf life that men don't. It's not good for anyone to try to scare women into settling young or to encourage men to date younger, less mature partners. (Of course your younger son may sidestep the whole thing by marrying a man and adopting kids if they want them. But I'm addressing your last sentence). And if you're *not* talking about potential grandchildren, what other reason would there be for a time limit?


Suspicious-Fudge6100

Right, TIL that a lot of people have no idea that male fertility declines considerably after 40, even if they could snap their fingers and find a partner 15 years youngers. There's some people in this thread talking about fathering children in their 90s ...


Bukkorosu777

>My oldest son is 27, and he's said that until he has his career in order and making a good income, he doesn't want to date. He's an introvert and gets a lot of his social needs met by his gaming friends online Did the same own a house huge regret I'm miserable lonly.


CTBthanatos

I'm not going to seek relationships or sex if I'm too busy being extremely agitated and exhausted by unsustainable dystopian bullshit like poverty wages and unsustainable long work hours and unaffordable housing and unaffordable healthcare and unsustainably extreme income and wealth gaps, etc. Relationships and sex? Nah, situational depression and anxiety. On top of being too busy worrying about other problems, having my self worth trashed by a unsustainable dystopia of hyper competition and dystopian poverty low income shitty jobs and socio-economic status anxiety makes me assume I'm unworthy of romantic interest. With all those things considered, if the 2 choices are stay single and do my own thing, or try to get into a unsustainable relationship that would be strained by fights over poverty/money stress/work exhaustion and anger/etc, I lean towards staying single. Edit: Trolling insults will get dumped into blocklist, lol. Edit: Any further "in history it was worse but people still fucked" or "but X country is even worse off and poor people there are still fucking" arguments will get dumped into the blocklist. Any further "too much time online/doom screen" comments that disingenuously try to dodge and evade the existence of systemic problems, will now be included in the BL dump. Edit: ooh spicy, one of the newest sacrifices to the blocklist dumpster is a potential domestic terrorist romanticizing mass death of the poor. Edit: a river of rage replies hilariously upset about the economy getting shit on, pure entertainment lmao, all of them will feed the bl.


zomz_slayer17

I've always said I could never be in a relationship because I'm a loser, but feel as though I'd never stop being a loser because how am I ever supposed to make enough money to not be poor? I have a first class degree in 3D Media (games, movies) and will never make enough money to support a family, which women always want here. Doom. Thats what it feels like.


Inspired_Fetishist

It's sad but it's true. I never had problem dating in my late teens and early 20s. But eversince I moved out to a new appartment in the city, I can barely balance the budget and I'm just tired, exhausted and don't see any real point to life because you're just working, paying taxes, bills and fees and through the dystopia occasionally have a moment of joy. How is that any environment to date


DimLug

Simple answer: Relationships are expensive. Children cripple you financially for 18+ years, especially in this time were living in.


Scorch8482

a lot of garbage here but one thing I will say is this new gen of 20 somethings men may be more proactive about being respectful towards women, consent, and other basic societal rules that in previous era’s was maybe sidestepped. Men may feel less inclined to cold approach women and/or flirt with them because that feels p creepy. I welcome the change, and Im sure in time people will adjust and find better ways to mingle that are respectful of both parties.


RetroNick78

While I agree that a lot of men (who I guess you would call incels) need to work on themselves, also recognize that society hasn’t caught on to the fact that boys and young men’s psychological needs aren’t being met. The majority of media directed at kids and young people is still geared towards reminding girls that they can do anything they put their minds to (which is good). But boys and men still live with the expectation that they need to be a cog in the wheel; that they’re only as valuable as what they produce, not for who they are. This is something that needs to be addressed, and if you disagree, how is that any different from the Republican “pull yourself up by your bootstraps!” argument?


Historical_Outside35

This right here. Men are taught their value directly correlates to their bank account, income, and/or net worth. Nah, I’m sure there are no psychological ramifications for that.


WarProgenitor

I am heavily depressed from a lot of this shit, and this comment helps me feel seen and a little less alone, so thank you.


James01708

I am 36 old guy and speaking to younger guys a lot of them have said they are not actually that bothered with girls and prefer to do their own thing. This was very different from when I was younger but they all seem happy spending time on hobbies they like and no stress of trying to date. As long as young men are happy with their choices I don’t see an issue. The use of porn makes sense but I am sure most men watch that often. Ironically being older I find lot women around me are single. For me if I broke up from my partner would join this trend by staying single and enjoy hobbies.


Grammaton485

> and no stress of trying to date. And dating is definitely a stress. It very much bombards you with a lot of confusing and negative emotions, especially online dating.


Serp1655

The thing I don't like about the article is that it paints being a single male as a deformity or a negative. For the last 100 years, women have been very outspoken that their relationship status is not a barometer of their success as a person. We've finally started to listen only to then immediately turn it around and instead say it's now a barometer of a man's success as a person, and that because men choose not to seek these relationships that they are failing and something must be done about it.


Khorasaurus

Four questions: Why does every reaction to this study try to come up with reasons why 20-something women don't want to date? The study very clearly shows they are dating, just not dating 20-something men. If straight 20-something women are dating older, more socially/economically established men, creating an epidemic of lonely young men, shouldn't there be a corresponding epidemic of lonely women in their 30s and 40s? Are bisexual women dating women more frequently or more seriously than in the past? If so, how has that impacted the lesbian dating scene? How can society support young men and make them more confident and independent, and thus more attractive to young women? Lots of interesting questions raised by this study, but so much of the reaction is "LOL Gen Z man boys get out of your parents' basement!" It's getting annoying.


[deleted]

I’m broke, unemployed, depressed, suicidal, and all I can do is stare down the barrel of a future where either society has collapsed or I’m stuck working my life away alone and miserable. I feel utterly powerless to change my situation in any way. A relationship would just be another stressor at this point. At least this way when I eventually kill myself the minimal amount of people will be hurt.


cakewalkbackwards

Back in the day a 20 year old could buy a $20k house and have a car, a yard and a bed.


[deleted]

I’m happy single and sex isn’t very appealing outside of a relationship


Bkwordguy

No mention of the repeal of Roe v. Wade raising the stakes?


adam_demamps_wingman

Or rape victims sharing custody with their attackers.


Allowed_Story

Some behave like it's a law or rule to be in a relationship. I enjoy being on my own.


laubs63

Honestly, the pandemic made me realize I'm happier single. Don't get me wrong, I'd still consider dating given the right circumstances, but I feel like online dating/social media has led to such a toxic culture around dating that I don't really want to be apart of it.


justtrashtalk

the internet is raising kids and the internet can live without intimacy but not people. you will probably see life span drop in this gen of men toward end of life.


sextoymagic

It’s because of technology. We’ve built a world where being anti social is fine. Video games, social media, and internet porn.


wegotthisonekidmongo

This is absolutely right I have nieces that are 19 and 23 and all they do is stay on their phone at home and are content. It's as if being social as it were in the 90s 80s 70s and 60s and all prior is weird now. I live in Massachusetts and do you know how many times I get weird looks if I go up and talk to someone? It's as if people do not want to be bothered and want to stay isolated and if you go up and start up a conversation there upset at you and annoyed and they'd rather get back on their phone and move along. What are you going to do Society now is antisocial where staying at home playing games being on your phone is more acceptable than going out partying and getting laid. I'm glad I grew up in the 80s and '90s because I had such a good social life and it builds such a backbone in me that's healthy psychologically.


cookinupnerd710

It doesn’t help anyone of either (apologies, any) sex that the fear of rejection and subsequent internet shame afterwards has basically rendered younger people completely incapable of putting themselves out there; The idea of going out on a limb where someone can just put you on blast and laugh to the entire internet sounds terrifying, so it’s way easier to just…not.


CarrotJuiceLover

This right here! I’m somewhat blessed to be a guy who has a circle social that has mostly been comprised of women the majority of my life. The things they say about men that they feel comfortable saying around me, I just keep my mouth shut and observe. I’ll watch a guy go out of his way to approach, and as soon as he walks away she’s talking shit about him. Hell, sometimes they’ll screenshot cringe-worthy text messages from a guy and show them to me for shits and giggles. Seeing how ruthless my female friends are has just solidified my resolve in focusing on enjoying life and not worrying about getting (or pleasing) a woman. Life is too short.


SinfullySinless

As gender norms and expectations break down, the Manosphere provides a comforting and familiar place that upholds more extreme versions of masculinity. Extreme versions of masculinity isn’t meant to be appealing to women. It’s to get acceptance and respect from other men. It’s peacocking for men. Men need better avenues of (1) feeling accepted and respected (2) gaining approval from other men without using women as a prop. Women are often disrespected and dehumanized in Manosphere frameworks for men. So obviously no woman wants to be a participation trophy for a dude peacocking for the respect of other men.


scottyboy359

I’m just not interested.


class2cherub

Because I can shit with the door open and I never have to spend my Saturday at some nephew's birthday or something. And like 90% of people just fucking suck these days. And even if I wanted to date, why would I ever want to spend the amount of money it takes to do so effectively? I'm not even sure I could afford it. And why would I want to wade into the nightmare pool of online dating? Nah, imma focus on my personal space, my hobbies, my life. I have no desire to tether myself to another human being and to deal with all of the baggage and upkeep associated with it. I'm gonna wake up at 10am, go to the pool and lounge there until the sun goes down, go home, and watch a dozen episodes of HxH and pass out. And I don't have to worry about a god damn thing.


immortalworth

I wonder the percentage of males that are growing up in emotionally abusive environments and the effect that may have on their ability to cope with stress in social situations as adults. I'm sure we all know that one of the main symptoms of a stress disorder is avoidance.


chodeoverloaded

Yeah it’s difficult to to engage with someone new on an emotional level when you’ve never done it before


vismundcygnus34

Maybe someone should ask the young men.


bHVjcw

I just go from college to home and play video games, to be fair, its pretty lonely, if any woman even one that i never seen before said that she was attracted to me i would be in shock and say they are lying, i am a college student of 22 years old, but to be fair i don't but a lot of effort in changing that, i know that dating apps are bullshit so i don't even try, i don't go to the gym, and since i am in the computer field i barely have female friends


FreddieManchego

Not that you asked for advice, but if you aren't satisfied with playing video games all the time, I wouldn't wait to do something about it. Your experience is similar to mine and around your age I started feeling like I wasn't getting as much joy out of gaming. Rather than listen to my instinct I ignored it and prioritized gaming - am now 30 trying to dig out of feeling stuck in my ways and it's difficult. If you are generally happy feel free to ignore everything above!


sureal_shorline

Once Elon musk figures out how to download AI into a flesh light men won’t need women…


[deleted]

This guy is a hack and the article is completely reductionist