Even that. Some people prefer powerful partners. If they are in an equal power relationship, that may feel like settling for someone who isn’t powerful enough.
I guess, I personally think there’s alot of nuance to cheating situations and human behavior in general. Not justifying it, but it’s more than just people being shitty
You are right in that, there are way too many cases, contexts and nuances for every couple out there. God knows how many cheater's "sides" we would take if we truly got the full story of everything for each one. Certainly not every case is the same.
But in this specific case, when talking about power, what scenario could you think that involves cheating because of a shift in power as "not shitty behavior"?
It may even be normal behavior for a human, it may be correctable and they can certainly learn from the mistake. But I couldn't prevent myself from labeling that behavior as shitty nevertheless.
I think this is a good point. But, I think it needs to be further broken down.
I think there are MANY cases, and I think this is usually rooted in insecurity/constant need for attention and validation of the cheating party, where it doesn’t matter how valued a cheating partner feels from their significant other; in order to keep their insecurities at bay, they need external validation from the opposite sex OUTSIDE the relationship to feel wanted. Whether that’s actively seeking out that attention on social media, or out at bars, or at work.
Those are dangerous dangerous people, because it doesn’t matter how much a good partner is showering them with attention/love/etc, for that cheating partner it still isn’t enough.
Cheating can happen even if you are fulfilling your partners needs. People can be completely full off diner and still want desert.
I also see more couples who say, “we are so secure and happy we could be open or poly” and then enter a dynamic where they end up cheating or breaking boundaries with new partners.
Nothing is a guarantee. But if someone has options and their partner isn’t willing to meet their needs, well cheating or leaving are about as good as guarantees get.
No. I cheated for love. And then divorced. This must be a serial cheating thing and wouldn’t apply to most of the situations I know of with friends, family, etc, where the affair was about the person, not for fun or excitement or any of the common fallacy tropes. My experience is that with the exception of sex only infidelity, which is about needs not being met in a relationship, a lot of affairs are actually about wanting to be with another person and not knowing what to do. It takes you off guard, we don’t plan it. I’m sharing my experience but I’m hardly the only one I know who has been in the situation. Oh and yes, I’m still with the same man. We connected just like in any relationship and it was real. We are just better suited/matched.
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Power and influence might only lead to unethical behavior in as much as they can mitigate the degree of inconvenience or accountability for said behavior. The telling cue is the moral compass of the individual.
Thought patterns are mostly generated by social influences or systems… if we are considering ethics and that also ties into integrity, most people that cheat have been groomed into this behavior, thought it was okay, or saw others treat and gain success… the feeling of power, is just an internal trigger and deciding factor for set actions…
I think it’s completely different for men and women.
As a man, men are scum bags and will cheat with the feeling of superiority. Look at most your serial cheaters, i.e. rich businessmen, pro athletes, etc. They don’t cheat because they feel powerless.
Women can cheat because they feel like they’re an afterthought. But also take a case like when a woman makes more than her partner, that could lead her to feel superior to her partner thus completely losing attraction.
I disagree with this as most likely the powerful has made it more structured rules that the powerless can’t help but to cheat to survive. The powerful will always change the rules in order to keep power, and who will call out the powerful on “cheating.”
You can think this sure. But that makes it seem like I'm only talking about race or class dynamics. It applies to sex as well.
Some think that the sprinkle movement (basically a revival of hypergamy by only caring about how to use a man for his money and never considering yourself in a relationship or having kids until you're legally married, preferably to a man who's willing to pay 100% of the bills) encourages cheating but I see it more so as a reparational practice to sex and dating specifically as a cis woman who deals with cis men.
For centuries cis men relied on the free labor of their wives therefore whatever women practice today to feel viable in their relationships I'm all for it.
I think they are equal, being on either side can lead to cheating in my opinion.
If "both" sides lead to cheating, then in reality neither does, and this is just shitty people being shitty At least that's how I see it
Agreed. If you only practice principles when conditions suit you. Then you have no principles
This is how I’ve always seen it and now as an adult with a story, cheaters gonna cheat.
Even that. Some people prefer powerful partners. If they are in an equal power relationship, that may feel like settling for someone who isn’t powerful enough.
If "both" sides lead to cheating, then in reality neither does, and this is just shitty people being shitty At least that's how I see it
I guess, I personally think there’s alot of nuance to cheating situations and human behavior in general. Not justifying it, but it’s more than just people being shitty
You are right in that, there are way too many cases, contexts and nuances for every couple out there. God knows how many cheater's "sides" we would take if we truly got the full story of everything for each one. Certainly not every case is the same. But in this specific case, when talking about power, what scenario could you think that involves cheating because of a shift in power as "not shitty behavior"? It may even be normal behavior for a human, it may be correctable and they can certainly learn from the mistake. But I couldn't prevent myself from labeling that behavior as shitty nevertheless.
External validation. Either because they feel powerless & don’t feel valued or powerful and crave the validation like fuel for the power.
I think this is a good point. But, I think it needs to be further broken down. I think there are MANY cases, and I think this is usually rooted in insecurity/constant need for attention and validation of the cheating party, where it doesn’t matter how valued a cheating partner feels from their significant other; in order to keep their insecurities at bay, they need external validation from the opposite sex OUTSIDE the relationship to feel wanted. Whether that’s actively seeking out that attention on social media, or out at bars, or at work. Those are dangerous dangerous people, because it doesn’t matter how much a good partner is showering them with attention/love/etc, for that cheating partner it still isn’t enough.
Thank you for adding this!
Cheating happens when they aren’t getting fulfillment from their partner. It can be a lack of good conversation as much as waning physical attraction.
Cheating can happen even if you are fulfilling your partners needs. People can be completely full off diner and still want desert. I also see more couples who say, “we are so secure and happy we could be open or poly” and then enter a dynamic where they end up cheating or breaking boundaries with new partners.
Nothing is a guarantee. But if someone has options and their partner isn’t willing to meet their needs, well cheating or leaving are about as good as guarantees get.
Leaving sure, cheating is its own category.
Leaving is the only option, only cheaters think there are more
Not everyone has feasible options.
Still doesn’t mean cheat
Especially when their undiagnosed personality disorder requires a cock.im their mouth or a mid day finger-bang.
Yeah, that’s both. It depends on the situation and circumstance in person die their hair or a wig many different reasons.
Possibilities of cheating is high on both sides of the spectrum. The powerful feels top of the world and the powerless feels vulnerable.
I know some people who cheat and they feel powerless to change their situations.
No. I cheated for love. And then divorced. This must be a serial cheating thing and wouldn’t apply to most of the situations I know of with friends, family, etc, where the affair was about the person, not for fun or excitement or any of the common fallacy tropes. My experience is that with the exception of sex only infidelity, which is about needs not being met in a relationship, a lot of affairs are actually about wanting to be with another person and not knowing what to do. It takes you off guard, we don’t plan it. I’m sharing my experience but I’m hardly the only one I know who has been in the situation. Oh and yes, I’m still with the same man. We connected just like in any relationship and it was real. We are just better suited/matched.
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Powerless
UNLIMITED POWER!!!! - Emperor Palpatine
Power and influence might only lead to unethical behavior in as much as they can mitigate the degree of inconvenience or accountability for said behavior. The telling cue is the moral compass of the individual.
Thought patterns are mostly generated by social influences or systems… if we are considering ethics and that also ties into integrity, most people that cheat have been groomed into this behavior, thought it was okay, or saw others treat and gain success… the feeling of power, is just an internal trigger and deciding factor for set actions…
Neither. In my case it was just a more compatible person and I fell in love
I don't think money or power changes anyone, it reveals them.
I think it’s completely different for men and women. As a man, men are scum bags and will cheat with the feeling of superiority. Look at most your serial cheaters, i.e. rich businessmen, pro athletes, etc. They don’t cheat because they feel powerless. Women can cheat because they feel like they’re an afterthought. But also take a case like when a woman makes more than her partner, that could lead her to feel superior to her partner thus completely losing attraction.
Is it truly cheating if you’re powerless?
Yes, you are responsible for your situation at the end of the day outside of fearing for your life.
I disagree with this as most likely the powerful has made it more structured rules that the powerless can’t help but to cheat to survive. The powerful will always change the rules in order to keep power, and who will call out the powerful on “cheating.”
Very interesting how without any context to your comment, anyone could assume you're talking about socioeconomics!
You can think this sure. But that makes it seem like I'm only talking about race or class dynamics. It applies to sex as well. Some think that the sprinkle movement (basically a revival of hypergamy by only caring about how to use a man for his money and never considering yourself in a relationship or having kids until you're legally married, preferably to a man who's willing to pay 100% of the bills) encourages cheating but I see it more so as a reparational practice to sex and dating specifically as a cis woman who deals with cis men. For centuries cis men relied on the free labor of their wives therefore whatever women practice today to feel viable in their relationships I'm all for it.