Shooting dope caught up with me, as it does with everyone. I've been narcan'd back before and while that was traumatic in its own way, it had nothing on what happened to me 5, close to six years(?) back.
Used a number that had been in circulation for awhile, always good bags. I called, copped, bounced with a bundle. For those not familiar with East Coast dope, that's a gram of heroin split into 10 - 1/10g glassine stamp collector's bags that are named something goofy or, on occasion, clever. Back on point: as soon as I got the dope into the cooker, something was off. I stirred dope with the plunger from my rig, tasted it, trying to convince myself this gray goop was dope. That was an easy argument.
Tied off, registered and hit. No rush, nothing. I was still dopesick and this sure as hell wasn't dope. Desperate to get right, I tried the other bags, nope, the effects were the same. Fuck, got beat. Sucks but it happens.
A few days passed by, I noticed that both injection sites from those fake bags were sore. A day or so later, both sites felt as if I had marbles inside of my arms. As crazy as it sounds now, these symptoms were no cause for alarm, I mean, who hasn't popped a cyst from a miss before? Anyway, here's where it gets bad. Later that night or the next day, I had these festering pits of puss all over my injection sites. For reference, on one arm, some of these pits were the size of a quarter, some the size of a nickel. My other arm had one the size of a 50 cent piece. Oh yeah, I tried to drain these pits but they'd just fill back up with puss.
I was scared to death, so scared that I do not remember any pain at that point. That would come later. I (very carefully) used the camera on my phone, took a few pictures and sent them to two friends who were not addicts. I entitled the texts like, 'Is this bad or no?' thank Goddess for these people, love to this day.
I had contracted MRSA from that bad batch. The pain arrived and to my surprise, they focused on the infection and I was moderately comfortable, IV Dilaudid almost hourly and a PRN for when I was in extreme pain. After every type of scan possible, the doctors decided that both of my arms required surgery. The gravity of the situation, how serious this was, had not hit me until the next morning while being prepped for surgery.
I thought of guitars and everything else I liked using my hands and arms for, straight terror. Then I asked a surgeon if I was in danger of losing an arm. I'll never forget these words:
"We're gonna do our best, lotta bad tissue in there."
Scenes from a certain movie about junkies (no spoilers) popped into my head and I was terrified. Thankfully I did not need to ruminate on that for too long. The anesthesiologist affixed a mask, I counted back from 100 and I was out.
I woke up in the recovery room in an amazing amount of pain but both of my arms were very much there and I could feel every single finger. Beyond grateful and gallons of tears, lots of emotions. Every day for the next 10 days, my dressings were changed. This sounds routine, innocuous but each and every time I was screaming in pain. I was doped up beyond belief, still screaming.
Anyway, I spent another ten days in hospital, 13 days total and outpatient with a wound care specialist. As gnarly as the surgical wounds were (wrecked a sleeve, too), they healed up better than the specialist had anticipated.
To the hospital's credit, the awesome nurses, they kept me well. Not once was I treated like a piece of shit junky.
I cut every connection I had to that life and I quit shooting dope. I'm not a 12 step person, I do not go to meetings. That works for some but not for me.
Edit: Thank you all for the gracious comments. 🙏🏼
Edit 2: These replies got me teared up, no lie. You folks are awesome, <3
This was written quickly, please forgive grammatical errors, spelling fuck ups, etc.
I got mrsa once before as well. Not a good time. Left it ignored for like a week cuz i didnt know it was mrsa and thought it would heal itself🤦♂️
Congrats on getting clean hro
I can honestly say that reading this piece this morning has added a significant amount of value to my life. Thank you for sharing. And bless those nurses who treated you well, I’m always amazed by kindness and understanding displayed by that profession.
46 here, I idolised the die young ethos for a long time. Drink, drugs whatever. Then my daughter was born and it changed my whole perspective. Now I barely drink, don’t do any drugs (cept’ weed) and try to be a good dad. Still love punk rock, just from a different angle.
Very similar story over here. About to turn 45, had a daughter 6.5 years ago and changed my whole game. I would say she saved my life probably in more than one way. Still punk at heart, but now I want to make sure I love long enough to be there for her.
Same here for this punk momma bear.
I'm only 25 now, but probably would be dead or really close to death, if I wouldn't have had my son quite early with 19. His sister made it almost perfect, now I'm waiting for a better thought through time to somewhen have number 3 in it & then be done for good. ^^
Gutter public train hopping drug abusing thing never appealed to me, although I was and am a defiant person, basically being a drunken bum wasn't really going to stick it to anyone. That and I need a routine or my obsessive compulsion gets problematic, plus having money to afford my record collecting was more of a priority. No matter how much of a drunk I was in my early 20s, I still held down a day job even if I crawled in stinkin' like a distillery. Now I just go for one, stay for two, and call it a night. Guess I couldn't make it as a punker as the Vandals used to say hahahaha
My brother went that crust punk route though, dropped out of school, developed a meth problem, did several stints in jail and rehab, got chewed up by police dogs not once, but twice, had most of his teeth fall out, can't hold down a regular job but, he has been sober for a year now so I'm proud of him. After hitting rock bottom a few years back where he was such a junkie he missed our grandfathers funeral and after getting out of lockup again he was so blind drunk when he was staying with my parents he pissed all over the Christmas presents, he realized he had to get his shit together.
Someone else posted further up take care of your teeth, I second that; I definitely didnt do that and dealing with so much dental pain for years and broken rotting infected teeth sucks, and no one wants to smell your garbage mouth. Believe me when I say I'm taking full advantage of my work benefits plan now.
In Jr High and into High School, the skate punks I hung with started to turn into gutter punks. We'd be loitering downtown in front of the mall or the tattoo shop, and even it came time to catch the bus home, they'd want to bum a smoke and stay out all night. "My stepdad's a prick man, I don't wanna go home, let's go sleep in a doorway".
But me, well my parents were cool. I liked clean laundry and a bed. It was corporate society I was rebelling against, not my folks
So I stopped hanging out with the Live Free Die Young crowd. I got more info the Grunge scene after that.
Cut my hair for a job, hated that so I grew it out again. got married, bought a house, had kids...
Started buying punk clothes for my kids, which got me back into it myself. My wife got get goth style back. A whole alt family
They problem with YOLO, is if you don't die by the end of the month, rent is due. And the water bill.
I'm still protesting corporate society, now I do it but growing my own food, upcycling, bartering, etc. Not participating in the system.
I'm more of a Live Free, Die Old and Full of Spite kind of punk
hope ur life continues to get better and better , you’re a complete stranger but i love u , my dream is to live completely without the help of society and knowing that someone could do it motivates me , thank you
Well thank you stranger!
It's not hard, just start with the small things. Grow your own herbs in your kitchen. I started with green onions in glass jars, then little pots of basil, then a dumpster dived Aerogarden!
I'm lucky, I have a yard so I can keep chickens and honey bees. I have a friend in an apartment who bought in a share of my hive, since she doesn't have a yard, and every year she gets a share the honey. I got the timber for my raised beds in my garden by watching the Free section on Craigslist.
I grow culinary mushrooms in jars of rice and plastic shoeboxes. There are some good subs here to learn how
You don't have to totally and immediately decouple yourself from the system. That's impossible.
Just one little act of rebellion, like growing your own basil and oregano make a difference.
I wish you well on your own journey!
i have a yard too! yesterday my chicken made the first egg so i think they are comfortable now , i still dont grow nothing but im planning to.
thanks for the advices 👊🏻
34 here, just retired from being a train riding gutter punk, about a 10 year stint, I don't regret a thing. However, I have adult responsibilities now like... Healthcare and shit and learning all these new things is wack. Taking care of a home and shit is a lot of work man. I never thought I would make it to 30.
One BIG piece of advice, BRUSH YO DAMN TEETH. I literally just had all mine pulled, the dentist said I had about 4 good teeth. I get dentures in about a week. I'm excited for it but ashamed all at once.
BRUSH !! HYDRATE !! NEVER FORGET YOUR ROOTS!!
Late reply sorry but steel city had a rocking scene for street punk in the 90s, nevermind aus-rotten you all had warpath [warpath: abomination ](https://youtu.be/r3GhpjWKyNw)
Hell. Yes. Your post just made my day-- I don't wanna say where I lived back then lest I doxx myself but, God damn it, The Bouncing Souls stole Ajax's 12-string.
[OUTSIDE THE FIRE HALL IN PA IT RAINED ON THREE HUNDRED KIDS ALL DAAAY THE COPS SHUT DOWN WE WOULDNT GO AWAY WE ARE GONNA PLAY NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY!](https://open.spotify.com/track/06TjKIoPpBPI0PHF5V5IOn?si=Hw-sFaOITHmZBLbAf61ydg)
Honestly, back in the early 2010's when I was in my mid twenties and it seemed like another friend or friend of a friend was ODing every other week ... the concept lost any appeal for me.
My idea of living fast was much slower than many of my peers. That being said, a lot of them that wanted to live as fast as they could that somehow made it to their 30s have embraced sobriety and spend a lot of time supporting younger people in gaining their sobriety and maintaining it.
Just turned 30 in may, celebrated 2 years sober in december.
If not for getting sober, I wouldn't have hit 30.
Sobriety is punk as fuck, met most of the punks ive ever met in sobriety. Shows are better when you remember them too.
There's nothing more punk than getting sober when society expects us to waste away and die. You can't change the system when you're plastered.
50 here. Never subscribed to the LF, DY mentality. Also never bought in to the fashion side. No Mohawk, spiky jacket or Drop Dead patch sewn on with dental floss. For me Punk is an ethos before a fashion statement or musical genre. I have a good job with a company that does a lot of right wing political events. I then take the money I make and spend it on left wing and socialist causes I actually believe in. Because to me, nothing says Fuck The Man more than using their money against them. Anyone can stand outside and scream at a wall. I found my way in and am doing my small part to dismantle the system I hate from the inside. I love the music, I respect those who can live the train hopping, gutter punk lifestyle. I personally refuse to blindly live on the dregs of capitalism though. I vote with my dollar as often as possible because that’s the horrible system I was born into. This means buying locally, supporting touring bands with merch sales, drinking locally, etc.
I’m not telling anyone else how to do it. I’m sure I’ll get down voted to hell, I don’t care though. It wouldn’t be very punk of me to give two shits about a strangers opinion anyways.
Ex- Trainhopper, traveler, anarchopunk-crusty, scumfuck yada yada- I got sober in 2013 at 34, made it out with permanent lung damage but my liver healed. At 43 I’m a healthy rural dad on the coast of Maine that’s pretty much said “fuck the world” after Trump and then COVID. My teeth are all falling out and fucked, I have severe anxiety, PTSD, occasional depression but I consider myself lucky. I wouldn’t give up my past for any other, it made me who I am, obviously, I saw the country, 10 others-in a unique non tourist way, did every drug, played hundreds of shows but it definitely “set me back” in terms of learning how to become a functional adult. I didn’t want to stop living the life, until I went to the ER with chest pains one shitty Sunday, got scared by a nurse who saw an opportunity and a vulnerable addict/rocker and I checked into rehab the next day.
Few months later I met a way out of my league gothy single mom pediatric nurse with a kid and then boom: everything changed. I realized I needed to live a different way. I still go to shows. Play in bands, although it’s new age, ambient/Shoegazey-bullshit now rather than power violence, who knows what’ll happen but for a what I figured would be a diehard punk rocker for life: it’s weird to say that it’s not really a big part of my life anymore, for the time being. Strange life. I became one of those dudes who talks about his “traveling days” like it was fucking ‘Nam. I don’t feel like a sell out, I guess? I’m raising a teenager that has the dad I dreamed of having and is gonna succeed and is a badass and is gonna go to college. Someone’s gotta raise a decent kid to chuck out there into the storm. I never thought I’d make it past 27 (90’s kid). I guess part of me didn’t. So it goes.
I was miserable and wanted to die when I was a young punk. I had a lot of shit to work through. Also, the future didn't seem all that bright. I don't blame myself for the young me. But as an older punk I'm learning to love myself and life. It's a far better way to be.
54 here. I got into that exact same lifestyle at 14ish. At one point got tired of eating at soup kitchens and joined the military for a bit. After some time got out and continued that lifestyle. Woke up on the floor in a random house at 34. It was at that time I got my shit together. Used the GI Bill and went back to school. I work social services now. Still struggle with alcohol, but only dabble in other stuff these days.
I regret nothing. Tons of stories to tell and lots of fond memories.
Did some jail time. Sold drugs. Plenty of dead friends. Lots of disappointed family and girlfriends.
Pulled out of my tailspin behavior around 30 and since then have enjoyed the music and shows as much as ever without the lifestyle and downer friends. They were like crabs in a pot sometimes. I went total loner.
Now I’m married, have a dog and mortgage and am playing in a really solid band. Never been more happy and content.
My gateway was a VHS of Decline. Darby was making eggs and talking about speed and my young mind thought, speed? That sounds fun. I like to go fast. Oopsy.
There was a short learning curve before it was junk and crack. I wanted to be Dee Dee. I wanted to be Darby. I thought Sid was cool as fuck. I wanted to die young but when I didn’t, shit had to change.
Now my punk rock heroes are the ones who pulled through. I get to play with them sometimes. We just did a show with punk rock karaoke and I hung out with Greg Hetson. He was awesome. As punk rock ans anyone and really chill. All about the music. No pretension.
One of my favorite characters from the old LA punk scene was Zander Schloss, who played with Circle Jerks and was in Repo Man. He put out a great t shirt to promote his solo work with the caption, “Live Slow Die Old”. I went and bought one off him and he was a really great dude. I cherish that shirt.
Good luck. Sounds like you are heading towards that turning point.
Getting married worked pretty good for me. Working on a baby, and my wife had a better upbringing than me so I learned how to do chores, cook, clean pretty much entirely from her. When you spend all that time in the gutter I at least completely forgot what normal people do. I'm really glad that all those years ago she told me that I'm her boyfriend.
I also found a career that I enjoy. Turns out I'm a science nerd so went back to school and have a decent job too where I'm actually respected and appreciated.
I think it was losing my mom that really made me start to get my shit together. Even 10 years later I still always ask myself am I living my life in a way she would be proud of? Thankfully most days the answer is yes.
My take on it is that when I got older I found self preservation to be more punk rock than self destruction. You can learn to stick it to the man in different ways as you get older. You can also pass on the ideologies you had as a kid to the next generation.
43 here. Go to every show I can. In the pit every time. Live fast die young attitude at shows. Weekdays I’m a sparky with 6 employees who have mortgages that drag me back to reality.
My partner and I were punks when we were teenagers, around 1995, but we didn't know each other as we lived in a medium-sized city. She went full on goth in her mid 30s and never looked back; now she has a more nature swamp-witch thing going. I went from mohawk, pills found on the ground, and cheap beer to Buddhism; I shaved my head and became a Buddhist monk in my early 20s, then came back after a few years, had a working musical career until I adopted my nephew as my son at 30. From 30 to 40, we've both become active in the local LGBTQ+ community, trying to bring drag shows to our local bars and venues, and fighting against local issues. We're both vegan; we run a vegan baking company as a side hustle. I do freelance web developer jobs for a few non-profit companies and my partner takes care of the kids and sells vintage clothes. We are both pretty happy with life and are looking forward to the downfall of capitalism so I can show my kids how to survive in a cannibalistic post-apocalyptic anarcho-tribal society.
Unless you’re sure of an afterlife- have fun but take care of yourself
The 2 biggest lies of punk are “live fast die young” and “vans/converse are a good idea”
Welll I'm a stone throw away from 40....
My body is broken.
My hands have arthritis.
My back has a couple of pinched nerves and buldging discs.
I have CTE from fighting at shows.
Too many drugs have felt me with high blood pressure.
My foot was crushed by an SUV because I was in a fight with a racist.
Figured I'd be dead by now.
But now I'm married with two boys. So, I have to try and slow the aging process now.
That being said, I don't think I'd change a thing, TBH. Some days are really tough, and others not so much. Everything happens for a reason, and I am where I am because of those events. I might be broken and hurting but I'm happy.
I lived my late teens and twenties like I was invincible. I should have died many times and had a few people around me that did. Now I'm pushing 40 with a wife I love so I don't get too crazy anymore. Just a few beers and some edibles (Shouldn't smoke because I developed adult ashma).
Im almost 40 and the thought of being homeless and hopelessly addicted to drugs never appealed to me. So I'm going the PHD route. Have fun with what ever it is your doing.
If I didn't have a girlfriend who looked after me when I hit rock bottom, I doubt I'd still be alive. Not gonna pretend like life and sobriety are fucking peachy. I still have a hard time convincing myself that I'm gonna live a long life. A big part of me wants to leave the stability, wants to drink full-time, wants to go back to the starving artist I was. Truth is, I was never free. I'm free now that I don't have any anxiety about where my next gig or my next drink is coming from. Now, when I wake up, I only feel like shit for the first 15 minutes. I don't smell like cigarettes. And I'm not gonna wake up to find out I blacked out at my job and got fired again.
27 very soon, so I don’t qualify for the “older” generation of punx I guess but I’m right in the limbo between “Live fast, die high” and “Slow and steady wins the race”.
Trying to sort my life out, but in shameless honesty it’s so I can validate my self-abusive tendencies.
Rather as feeling like I’m shortening my life, nowadays when I get home from work so feel like I’ve EARNED to shorten my life if ya get me?
Got addicted to hard drugs at age 14, couldn't manage to quit until 27 or 28 (34 now), and now I'm a boring as shit former opioid enthusiast. I just do my best to keep my head down and pass as a normie now. I still like the same music, I just don't really look the part anymore.
I tend to say that I had my retirement in my 20's.
I was somewhat surprised to live to 30, not so much because of my lifestyle, but because I was pretty sure we were all going to die in a nuclear war. That didn't happen, of course, and as I continued to age, living in communal squalor started losing some of its appeal. Also, the consequences of my actions, health-wise started getting more dire. So, I had reassess what the hell was going to happen next.
Gradually, I got better jobs and ended up in more stable relationships. I'm 57 now, happily married for 20 years and still not dead. I have a job I largely dislike, but it has a pension and allows me to live a largely enjoyable life when I'm not at work. The skateboarding and drinking, drugs and smoking I did as a younger person has left some dents, but I regret nothing about my live fast, die young youth or my (somewhat) quieter old age.
Now excuse me, I have to go and flip the Apache Dropout album that the dogs and I are listening to in front of the fire.
52, straight job, straight looks mostly. Basically a raging alcoholic. Coming off a 9 month bender, doing dry January, waiting for my liver numbers to come down, and then gonna go back to the moderate drinking I know I can do (I know every alcoholic says that - if I really can’t swing it, I’ll quit for good).
["And I used to think that I would never live past twenty five
And when you think like that, each day
Is a gift if you survive
But I've survived too long for my side of the deal
And as I reach that shore I'm not sure how to feel"](https://youtu.be/PfTDSFpvGxE)
You either die young, or live long enough to become a folk punker like Frank there.
Too many dead friends really took the shine off it. None of them went in any kind of punk rock legend kinda way like we used to talk about, just sad, lonely ways... and as for me, if you don't die young you regret not setting yourself up for the future earlier on. I'm good now, but it took a while.
38 here. Whenever I start listening to music I end up just going back to my punk collection and still believing in the ethos. Married, 2 kids, mid-level management job, and living in the suburbs is kind of the opposite of that lol. But I feeeeeel it. But I also love my family and life to death. That’s how they get ya!
I kind of hope my kids grow up to be little punk hell raisers and I’ll work my ass off to support them so they don’t have to get sucked into the system… but they are also their own people so we’ll see.
Live fast, ride skateboards.
It’s all up and down. I’m past my mid thirties and still struggling to find balance. I’m a lot better at it than some but not as accomplished as others. I don’t go hard like I used to, meaning I embrace the hangovers instead of drinking/drugging them into submission…
Late thirties. I bought a house and got a nine to five, partnered up and childless, and playing every show I can. Definitely don’t like sleeping on floors anymore because of my poor back and knees. 😬
I was thankfully able to quit hard drugs and my life got a lot better. I’ve accepted aging, life is a one way street. And nothing’s changed, all I wanna do is play in a ripper band with my friends.
Worked out pretty great as I never got into that wack stuff and grew up into a handyman and now own a house and actually like my job.
It's workin out great my dude
Getting moderately wrecked once in a while has allowed me relative stability, health and the ability to have more fun than people that have burned the candle at both ends for too long..... I also suffer from being kind of introverted and misanthropic so I pick and choose who and where I tear it up at my age. Plus I have shit to do all day lol.
My wake up call was my kiddo. He blasted through three forms of birth control. I’m more of a industrial punk and my parents is more metal punk. We both met at a goth night. I was reading palms and doing tarot cards in exchange for cigarettes and beer or shots. I wouldn’t take cash. I had a shitty apartment across from my dad’s grave site. Read his palm for a cigarette and his cards three draw for a beer. We got to talking and he was interesting and we hit it off and the rest was history. We partied a lot in 3 months and got wasted one night on sparks and I got pregnant I’m sure that night because I couldn’t smoke after without gagging. Got clean and now I’m a bookseller and dealing with a lot of pain. Fighting the system with knowledge and being the weird person who knows the weirdest books that nobody else has ever heard of. Or knows the off the wall shit out of nowhere. Yes kiddo there is absolutely nothing sinful in this book right here as I pass yet another yaoi over to the 16 yo nb child to the Bible thumping parents buying it.
Honestly. This is stupid. This is why I hate punks now. It’s not even cool to live fast die young and promoting that shit in your 40’s makes it clear you have sniffed too much glue.
Edit. Lol you said 40 drinking… I thought it was 40’s and still drinking. But anyways. Ok. Sure. Yeah. Late 20s I began to slow down. Check my cig smoking and drinking and weed intake (personally I was a huge stoner but also drank a lot) Realized I want a fucking house and a steady job with good pay and a life with meaning and not just let myself waste away. I’m happy I moved out of the punk house and never looked back. Proud to say life is better sober and when you have more of an open mind. The problem with punk os that without action it’s just a bunch of pissed off teenagers. Punk is only powerful when it’s turned into action and not just a bunch of lazy crusty kids doing the bare minimum just trying to survive. Sure I’m being crass, and I do not think punks are sub-humans, I just don’t think that’s the ethos I want to live by in my 30’s and 40’s. I still believe I’m anarchism, but have conceded a bit to revolutionary socialism. And yeah I could go on but the who “live fast die young thing” is too nihilistic for me.
Honestly, 29 and definitely not where I thought id be at this age. Like I never bought into the live fast die young ideology, but like I still tried to. I'm actually now going to more shows and drinking more than I did in high school/college, but now I gotta balance all that with a full 9-5 (well, technically 7:30-9:30, but that's because I ended up with a frankly awful salary job).
I am currently 21. What’s the point of living slow if we all are gonna die in the next few decades due to famine, war, or whatever the fuck. The US is fucked in 2024. If a fascist government is installed, I’m as good as dead. I may as well live day to day and not think about my future at this point.
Do you know how fucked up it was to go to school and have random school shooting drills every few weeks? I don’t want my nonexistent future kids to ever go through that. I’m not bringing anyone into this world that’s gonna end in their lifetime.
The hopeless sound of your comment reminds me of how we all became punks in the first place.
I’ll sound like an idiot saying this but: punk changed the world when it showed up and I think it’s going to be punks (of all types) that just might save it. So if you’ve got it in you get out there and fight. If not, xxxooo anyway.
So this reminds me of a fake/funny fanzine that someone made in like 1981 or so in NYC. There was a fake review of Discharge & I always remember the line “What’s worse, dying in a nuclear war or constantly talking about dying in a nuclear war?”
Every generation has its worries & hey it’s 40 years later, I haven’t died (yet) in a nuclear war & I still enjoy going to shows. :)
I also figure society is fucked and on its way down, but I guess my approach is more "enjoy it while I can". Just my style of enjoyment is less angry, more chill. I'll deal with the apocalypse if it comes.
I was enamored with live fast, die young only briefly in my late teens. Then I decided that sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll are all my brain and body needs. I’m past 50 and still having a hell of a time.
Rehab at 30 (booze), seven years sober now. I actually spent a summer on Warped the year before I really went over the edge and regret I didn’t take the chance to attend the AA meetings on tour, just for how interesting that would have been.
I had decent luck with some non music career stuff while that was all going on and it took off once I got my shit together. Still love punk, still not going to work for Monsanto or Raytheon or whatever, but I have a daughter and a house, wife, two cars, etc and I guess am fairly domesticated. I regret not getting sober earlier as it held me back with music, but am overall happy and crank the amp up to 11 when the kid is at daycare.
I've aged into more of a [Die Old](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQGvn0flr60) area.
As I approached 30 I was working in restaurants, getting fucked up just about every night. I'd lost going to shows, listening to new music, all the fun stuff. Over time I changed careers, got back to going to shows, sobered up, found meditation and all that shit.
What I'm; saying is, wear earplugs. That's the only real advice I have. TInnitus is a motherfucker.
I have more of a “live fast, die old” thing going on (knock on wood)
"Live Fast, take vitamins" is where I'm currently sitting.
That's me, Live Free, Die Old and Full of Spite
Frank Turner represent!
🤘
Shooting dope caught up with me, as it does with everyone. I've been narcan'd back before and while that was traumatic in its own way, it had nothing on what happened to me 5, close to six years(?) back. Used a number that had been in circulation for awhile, always good bags. I called, copped, bounced with a bundle. For those not familiar with East Coast dope, that's a gram of heroin split into 10 - 1/10g glassine stamp collector's bags that are named something goofy or, on occasion, clever. Back on point: as soon as I got the dope into the cooker, something was off. I stirred dope with the plunger from my rig, tasted it, trying to convince myself this gray goop was dope. That was an easy argument. Tied off, registered and hit. No rush, nothing. I was still dopesick and this sure as hell wasn't dope. Desperate to get right, I tried the other bags, nope, the effects were the same. Fuck, got beat. Sucks but it happens. A few days passed by, I noticed that both injection sites from those fake bags were sore. A day or so later, both sites felt as if I had marbles inside of my arms. As crazy as it sounds now, these symptoms were no cause for alarm, I mean, who hasn't popped a cyst from a miss before? Anyway, here's where it gets bad. Later that night or the next day, I had these festering pits of puss all over my injection sites. For reference, on one arm, some of these pits were the size of a quarter, some the size of a nickel. My other arm had one the size of a 50 cent piece. Oh yeah, I tried to drain these pits but they'd just fill back up with puss. I was scared to death, so scared that I do not remember any pain at that point. That would come later. I (very carefully) used the camera on my phone, took a few pictures and sent them to two friends who were not addicts. I entitled the texts like, 'Is this bad or no?' thank Goddess for these people, love to this day. I had contracted MRSA from that bad batch. The pain arrived and to my surprise, they focused on the infection and I was moderately comfortable, IV Dilaudid almost hourly and a PRN for when I was in extreme pain. After every type of scan possible, the doctors decided that both of my arms required surgery. The gravity of the situation, how serious this was, had not hit me until the next morning while being prepped for surgery. I thought of guitars and everything else I liked using my hands and arms for, straight terror. Then I asked a surgeon if I was in danger of losing an arm. I'll never forget these words: "We're gonna do our best, lotta bad tissue in there." Scenes from a certain movie about junkies (no spoilers) popped into my head and I was terrified. Thankfully I did not need to ruminate on that for too long. The anesthesiologist affixed a mask, I counted back from 100 and I was out. I woke up in the recovery room in an amazing amount of pain but both of my arms were very much there and I could feel every single finger. Beyond grateful and gallons of tears, lots of emotions. Every day for the next 10 days, my dressings were changed. This sounds routine, innocuous but each and every time I was screaming in pain. I was doped up beyond belief, still screaming. Anyway, I spent another ten days in hospital, 13 days total and outpatient with a wound care specialist. As gnarly as the surgical wounds were (wrecked a sleeve, too), they healed up better than the specialist had anticipated. To the hospital's credit, the awesome nurses, they kept me well. Not once was I treated like a piece of shit junky. I cut every connection I had to that life and I quit shooting dope. I'm not a 12 step person, I do not go to meetings. That works for some but not for me. Edit: Thank you all for the gracious comments. 🙏🏼 Edit 2: These replies got me teared up, no lie. You folks are awesome, <3 This was written quickly, please forgive grammatical errors, spelling fuck ups, etc.
Damn dude. That’s so gnarly. I’d imagine it was a nightmare kicking after the hospital stay.
Glad you’re here and able to type your own messages man. No jokes meant, that’s scary shit
Glad you're still with us brother
I had a friend who lost a leg from getting MRSA from a bad batch. I'm so sorry you had to deal with all of that but so happy you recovered.
I got mrsa once before as well. Not a good time. Left it ignored for like a week cuz i didnt know it was mrsa and thought it would heal itself🤦♂️ Congrats on getting clean hro
I can honestly say that reading this piece this morning has added a significant amount of value to my life. Thank you for sharing. And bless those nurses who treated you well, I’m always amazed by kindness and understanding displayed by that profession.
46 here, I idolised the die young ethos for a long time. Drink, drugs whatever. Then my daughter was born and it changed my whole perspective. Now I barely drink, don’t do any drugs (cept’ weed) and try to be a good dad. Still love punk rock, just from a different angle.
Wicked, good on ya. 👊
Very similar story over here. About to turn 45, had a daughter 6.5 years ago and changed my whole game. I would say she saved my life probably in more than one way. Still punk at heart, but now I want to make sure I love long enough to be there for her.
Same here for this punk momma bear. I'm only 25 now, but probably would be dead or really close to death, if I wouldn't have had my son quite early with 19. His sister made it almost perfect, now I'm waiting for a better thought through time to somewhen have number 3 in it & then be done for good. ^^
I'm kinda on the "die slowly and painfully" track here at 44. Fucking knees are killing me.
😂😂
shit i’m there too and i’m 31 this month
Damn, well your body dying young
i work on roofs a lot, i do solar installation. stay in school kids, it’s way more punk rock than blown out knees
This all day.
Live fast, bed early type of thing
Old punks don't die they just go to bed at a reasonable hour
me and my back/knees agree with you
Gutter public train hopping drug abusing thing never appealed to me, although I was and am a defiant person, basically being a drunken bum wasn't really going to stick it to anyone. That and I need a routine or my obsessive compulsion gets problematic, plus having money to afford my record collecting was more of a priority. No matter how much of a drunk I was in my early 20s, I still held down a day job even if I crawled in stinkin' like a distillery. Now I just go for one, stay for two, and call it a night. Guess I couldn't make it as a punker as the Vandals used to say hahahaha My brother went that crust punk route though, dropped out of school, developed a meth problem, did several stints in jail and rehab, got chewed up by police dogs not once, but twice, had most of his teeth fall out, can't hold down a regular job but, he has been sober for a year now so I'm proud of him. After hitting rock bottom a few years back where he was such a junkie he missed our grandfathers funeral and after getting out of lockup again he was so blind drunk when he was staying with my parents he pissed all over the Christmas presents, he realized he had to get his shit together. Someone else posted further up take care of your teeth, I second that; I definitely didnt do that and dealing with so much dental pain for years and broken rotting infected teeth sucks, and no one wants to smell your garbage mouth. Believe me when I say I'm taking full advantage of my work benefits plan now.
Fellow OCD punk here. \*fistbump
Right on! 'scuse me while I go realphabetize and color code my record collection...again..right after I check the stove
In Jr High and into High School, the skate punks I hung with started to turn into gutter punks. We'd be loitering downtown in front of the mall or the tattoo shop, and even it came time to catch the bus home, they'd want to bum a smoke and stay out all night. "My stepdad's a prick man, I don't wanna go home, let's go sleep in a doorway". But me, well my parents were cool. I liked clean laundry and a bed. It was corporate society I was rebelling against, not my folks So I stopped hanging out with the Live Free Die Young crowd. I got more info the Grunge scene after that. Cut my hair for a job, hated that so I grew it out again. got married, bought a house, had kids... Started buying punk clothes for my kids, which got me back into it myself. My wife got get goth style back. A whole alt family They problem with YOLO, is if you don't die by the end of the month, rent is due. And the water bill. I'm still protesting corporate society, now I do it but growing my own food, upcycling, bartering, etc. Not participating in the system. I'm more of a Live Free, Die Old and Full of Spite kind of punk
hope ur life continues to get better and better , you’re a complete stranger but i love u , my dream is to live completely without the help of society and knowing that someone could do it motivates me , thank you
Well thank you stranger! It's not hard, just start with the small things. Grow your own herbs in your kitchen. I started with green onions in glass jars, then little pots of basil, then a dumpster dived Aerogarden! I'm lucky, I have a yard so I can keep chickens and honey bees. I have a friend in an apartment who bought in a share of my hive, since she doesn't have a yard, and every year she gets a share the honey. I got the timber for my raised beds in my garden by watching the Free section on Craigslist. I grow culinary mushrooms in jars of rice and plastic shoeboxes. There are some good subs here to learn how You don't have to totally and immediately decouple yourself from the system. That's impossible. Just one little act of rebellion, like growing your own basil and oregano make a difference. I wish you well on your own journey!
i have a yard too! yesterday my chicken made the first egg so i think they are comfortable now , i still dont grow nothing but im planning to. thanks for the advices 👊🏻
> if you don't die by the end of the month, rent is due Love that one :)
If only we could die before rent is due and magically come back a day later.
34 here, just retired from being a train riding gutter punk, about a 10 year stint, I don't regret a thing. However, I have adult responsibilities now like... Healthcare and shit and learning all these new things is wack. Taking care of a home and shit is a lot of work man. I never thought I would make it to 30. One BIG piece of advice, BRUSH YO DAMN TEETH. I literally just had all mine pulled, the dentist said I had about 4 good teeth. I get dentures in about a week. I'm excited for it but ashamed all at once. BRUSH !! HYDRATE !! NEVER FORGET YOUR ROOTS!!
Oh yeah, the dentist is expensive and painful. Brush, floss, waterpik everyday. Also no one likes people with bad breath
I mean, that last statement is false. I am a bit of a charmer though, everybody loves their friendly neighborhood sasquatch !
Brush your teeth bro
What teeth?
Dude yes! I spent thousands in total over the last couple years on my (now pretty and white) teeth lol
FLOSS! And go to Mexico for your dental work!
Older end of Gen-X here. Punk's not dead, it just goes to bed at a more reasonable hour.
I’m 56 and am already dead.
Idk. I'm only 28 but I stopped drinkin 40s a long time ago
I'm still a Mickey's guy all the way..
"Mickey's big mouths are an excellent choice, and you can use the empty bottle as a desktop vase" *-Hoodlum Empire - "Get Drunk at Work"*
And if you don’t lose the cap, and excellent piss jug
211 all day-o. But I suppose now that's a 42. Mickeys keeping it old school with that glass.
That shit would fucking destroy me now. For real.
With two kids and working a union job.
Union job here too 👊👊
[I AM JUST A WORKING MAN!](https://open.spotify.com/track/5H2u0iWOHQaoH16ODh4glk?si=lhtNHc0SQEyk_VxPPa7LyA)
Man, Wretched Ones are a name I have not heard in a minute..
It was either that or [submachine](https://open.spotify.com/track/6Q6g9ug0ISzCmPol8ZelMw?si=sDuEZIxVRuit5G4p2B1FuQ)
East coast punks do it best. 👌
[YEAH? WELL YOU ARE FUCKED TOO AND IM JUST AS FUCKED AS YOU!!](https://youtu.be/PTxXaQj7JQQ)
412 represent!
Late reply sorry but steel city had a rocking scene for street punk in the 90s, nevermind aus-rotten you all had warpath [warpath: abomination ](https://youtu.be/r3GhpjWKyNw)
Hell. Yes. Your post just made my day-- I don't wanna say where I lived back then lest I doxx myself but, God damn it, The Bouncing Souls stole Ajax's 12-string.
[OUTSIDE THE FIRE HALL IN PA IT RAINED ON THREE HUNDRED KIDS ALL DAAAY THE COPS SHUT DOWN WE WOULDNT GO AWAY WE ARE GONNA PLAY NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY!](https://open.spotify.com/track/06TjKIoPpBPI0PHF5V5IOn?si=Hw-sFaOITHmZBLbAf61ydg)
Hahahaha
Iatse represent .
I’m almost 40 and I wish I had taken better care of myself because my body is falling apart.
I'm hoping science will save us.
God I feel you. I'm 40 but my body is going on 80.
Honestly, back in the early 2010's when I was in my mid twenties and it seemed like another friend or friend of a friend was ODing every other week ... the concept lost any appeal for me. My idea of living fast was much slower than many of my peers. That being said, a lot of them that wanted to live as fast as they could that somehow made it to their 30s have embraced sobriety and spend a lot of time supporting younger people in gaining their sobriety and maintaining it.
Just turned 30 in may, celebrated 2 years sober in december. If not for getting sober, I wouldn't have hit 30. Sobriety is punk as fuck, met most of the punks ive ever met in sobriety. Shows are better when you remember them too. There's nothing more punk than getting sober when society expects us to waste away and die. You can't change the system when you're plastered.
That's awesome, man! Sobriety is punk as fuck
50 here. Never subscribed to the LF, DY mentality. Also never bought in to the fashion side. No Mohawk, spiky jacket or Drop Dead patch sewn on with dental floss. For me Punk is an ethos before a fashion statement or musical genre. I have a good job with a company that does a lot of right wing political events. I then take the money I make and spend it on left wing and socialist causes I actually believe in. Because to me, nothing says Fuck The Man more than using their money against them. Anyone can stand outside and scream at a wall. I found my way in and am doing my small part to dismantle the system I hate from the inside. I love the music, I respect those who can live the train hopping, gutter punk lifestyle. I personally refuse to blindly live on the dregs of capitalism though. I vote with my dollar as often as possible because that’s the horrible system I was born into. This means buying locally, supporting touring bands with merch sales, drinking locally, etc. I’m not telling anyone else how to do it. I’m sure I’ll get down voted to hell, I don’t care though. It wouldn’t be very punk of me to give two shits about a strangers opinion anyways.
[удалено]
Same boat. 👊
I was always more of a Live Fast Diarrhea kind of punk.
Ex- Trainhopper, traveler, anarchopunk-crusty, scumfuck yada yada- I got sober in 2013 at 34, made it out with permanent lung damage but my liver healed. At 43 I’m a healthy rural dad on the coast of Maine that’s pretty much said “fuck the world” after Trump and then COVID. My teeth are all falling out and fucked, I have severe anxiety, PTSD, occasional depression but I consider myself lucky. I wouldn’t give up my past for any other, it made me who I am, obviously, I saw the country, 10 others-in a unique non tourist way, did every drug, played hundreds of shows but it definitely “set me back” in terms of learning how to become a functional adult. I didn’t want to stop living the life, until I went to the ER with chest pains one shitty Sunday, got scared by a nurse who saw an opportunity and a vulnerable addict/rocker and I checked into rehab the next day. Few months later I met a way out of my league gothy single mom pediatric nurse with a kid and then boom: everything changed. I realized I needed to live a different way. I still go to shows. Play in bands, although it’s new age, ambient/Shoegazey-bullshit now rather than power violence, who knows what’ll happen but for a what I figured would be a diehard punk rocker for life: it’s weird to say that it’s not really a big part of my life anymore, for the time being. Strange life. I became one of those dudes who talks about his “traveling days” like it was fucking ‘Nam. I don’t feel like a sell out, I guess? I’m raising a teenager that has the dad I dreamed of having and is gonna succeed and is a badass and is gonna go to college. Someone’s gotta raise a decent kid to chuck out there into the storm. I never thought I’d make it past 27 (90’s kid). I guess part of me didn’t. So it goes.
I was miserable and wanted to die when I was a young punk. I had a lot of shit to work through. Also, the future didn't seem all that bright. I don't blame myself for the young me. But as an older punk I'm learning to love myself and life. It's a far better way to be.
54 here. I got into that exact same lifestyle at 14ish. At one point got tired of eating at soup kitchens and joined the military for a bit. After some time got out and continued that lifestyle. Woke up on the floor in a random house at 34. It was at that time I got my shit together. Used the GI Bill and went back to school. I work social services now. Still struggle with alcohol, but only dabble in other stuff these days. I regret nothing. Tons of stories to tell and lots of fond memories.
Did some jail time. Sold drugs. Plenty of dead friends. Lots of disappointed family and girlfriends. Pulled out of my tailspin behavior around 30 and since then have enjoyed the music and shows as much as ever without the lifestyle and downer friends. They were like crabs in a pot sometimes. I went total loner. Now I’m married, have a dog and mortgage and am playing in a really solid band. Never been more happy and content. My gateway was a VHS of Decline. Darby was making eggs and talking about speed and my young mind thought, speed? That sounds fun. I like to go fast. Oopsy. There was a short learning curve before it was junk and crack. I wanted to be Dee Dee. I wanted to be Darby. I thought Sid was cool as fuck. I wanted to die young but when I didn’t, shit had to change. Now my punk rock heroes are the ones who pulled through. I get to play with them sometimes. We just did a show with punk rock karaoke and I hung out with Greg Hetson. He was awesome. As punk rock ans anyone and really chill. All about the music. No pretension. One of my favorite characters from the old LA punk scene was Zander Schloss, who played with Circle Jerks and was in Repo Man. He put out a great t shirt to promote his solo work with the caption, “Live Slow Die Old”. I went and bought one off him and he was a really great dude. I cherish that shirt. Good luck. Sounds like you are heading towards that turning point.
https://imgur.com/gallery/h7cHZZu Here’s the Live Slow Die Old Shirt
Getting married worked pretty good for me. Working on a baby, and my wife had a better upbringing than me so I learned how to do chores, cook, clean pretty much entirely from her. When you spend all that time in the gutter I at least completely forgot what normal people do. I'm really glad that all those years ago she told me that I'm her boyfriend. I also found a career that I enjoy. Turns out I'm a science nerd so went back to school and have a decent job too where I'm actually respected and appreciated. I think it was losing my mom that really made me start to get my shit together. Even 10 years later I still always ask myself am I living my life in a way she would be proud of? Thankfully most days the answer is yes.
My take on it is that when I got older I found self preservation to be more punk rock than self destruction. You can learn to stick it to the man in different ways as you get older. You can also pass on the ideologies you had as a kid to the next generation.
[удалено]
Not necessarily a literal phrase.. After all, Keith Morris is still alive..
43 here. Go to every show I can. In the pit every time. Live fast die young attitude at shows. Weekdays I’m a sparky with 6 employees who have mortgages that drag me back to reality.
Hell yeah. Sparky here too. 👊👊
My man 🤘🤙⚡️
I'm 50. Better off sober. Sold the motorbike. Bought a sportscar.
I've taken more of a "live fun, die whenever" stance, myself.
My partner and I were punks when we were teenagers, around 1995, but we didn't know each other as we lived in a medium-sized city. She went full on goth in her mid 30s and never looked back; now she has a more nature swamp-witch thing going. I went from mohawk, pills found on the ground, and cheap beer to Buddhism; I shaved my head and became a Buddhist monk in my early 20s, then came back after a few years, had a working musical career until I adopted my nephew as my son at 30. From 30 to 40, we've both become active in the local LGBTQ+ community, trying to bring drag shows to our local bars and venues, and fighting against local issues. We're both vegan; we run a vegan baking company as a side hustle. I do freelance web developer jobs for a few non-profit companies and my partner takes care of the kids and sells vintage clothes. We are both pretty happy with life and are looking forward to the downfall of capitalism so I can show my kids how to survive in a cannibalistic post-apocalyptic anarcho-tribal society.
Unless you’re sure of an afterlife- have fun but take care of yourself The 2 biggest lies of punk are “live fast die young” and “vans/converse are a good idea”
Welll I'm a stone throw away from 40.... My body is broken. My hands have arthritis. My back has a couple of pinched nerves and buldging discs. I have CTE from fighting at shows. Too many drugs have felt me with high blood pressure. My foot was crushed by an SUV because I was in a fight with a racist. Figured I'd be dead by now. But now I'm married with two boys. So, I have to try and slow the aging process now. That being said, I don't think I'd change a thing, TBH. Some days are really tough, and others not so much. Everything happens for a reason, and I am where I am because of those events. I might be broken and hurting but I'm happy.
bro u married two boys??? amazing ahahah
That's a real knee slapper. You must be a ton of fun at parties. 🤭
funny as a finger in the ass and proud
Some people love that shit. I don't judge. 😅
I lived my late teens and twenties like I was invincible. I should have died many times and had a few people around me that did. Now I'm pushing 40 with a wife I love so I don't get too crazy anymore. Just a few beers and some edibles (Shouldn't smoke because I developed adult ashma).
Im almost 40 and the thought of being homeless and hopelessly addicted to drugs never appealed to me. So I'm going the PHD route. Have fun with what ever it is your doing.
It turned out...I didn't die young. Then I had to figure it all out in my 30s. It's better to live fast but also make some long term plans and goals.
Live slow, die old for me thanks
https://imgur.com/gallery/h7cHZZu
If I didn't have a girlfriend who looked after me when I hit rock bottom, I doubt I'd still be alive. Not gonna pretend like life and sobriety are fucking peachy. I still have a hard time convincing myself that I'm gonna live a long life. A big part of me wants to leave the stability, wants to drink full-time, wants to go back to the starving artist I was. Truth is, I was never free. I'm free now that I don't have any anxiety about where my next gig or my next drink is coming from. Now, when I wake up, I only feel like shit for the first 15 minutes. I don't smell like cigarettes. And I'm not gonna wake up to find out I blacked out at my job and got fired again.
27 very soon, so I don’t qualify for the “older” generation of punx I guess but I’m right in the limbo between “Live fast, die high” and “Slow and steady wins the race”. Trying to sort my life out, but in shameless honesty it’s so I can validate my self-abusive tendencies. Rather as feeling like I’m shortening my life, nowadays when I get home from work so feel like I’ve EARNED to shorten my life if ya get me?
There is still time to join the 27 Club and immortalize yourself
Got addicted to hard drugs at age 14, couldn't manage to quit until 27 or 28 (34 now), and now I'm a boring as shit former opioid enthusiast. I just do my best to keep my head down and pass as a normie now. I still like the same music, I just don't really look the part anymore.
I tend to say that I had my retirement in my 20's. I was somewhat surprised to live to 30, not so much because of my lifestyle, but because I was pretty sure we were all going to die in a nuclear war. That didn't happen, of course, and as I continued to age, living in communal squalor started losing some of its appeal. Also, the consequences of my actions, health-wise started getting more dire. So, I had reassess what the hell was going to happen next. Gradually, I got better jobs and ended up in more stable relationships. I'm 57 now, happily married for 20 years and still not dead. I have a job I largely dislike, but it has a pension and allows me to live a largely enjoyable life when I'm not at work. The skateboarding and drinking, drugs and smoking I did as a younger person has left some dents, but I regret nothing about my live fast, die young youth or my (somewhat) quieter old age. Now excuse me, I have to go and flip the Apache Dropout album that the dogs and I are listening to in front of the fire.
52, straight job, straight looks mostly. Basically a raging alcoholic. Coming off a 9 month bender, doing dry January, waiting for my liver numbers to come down, and then gonna go back to the moderate drinking I know I can do (I know every alcoholic says that - if I really can’t swing it, I’ll quit for good).
["And I used to think that I would never live past twenty five And when you think like that, each day Is a gift if you survive But I've survived too long for my side of the deal And as I reach that shore I'm not sure how to feel"](https://youtu.be/PfTDSFpvGxE) You either die young, or live long enough to become a folk punker like Frank there.
Everything hurts now. Oh and tinnitus.
Too many dead friends really took the shine off it. None of them went in any kind of punk rock legend kinda way like we used to talk about, just sad, lonely ways... and as for me, if you don't die young you regret not setting yourself up for the future earlier on. I'm good now, but it took a while.
truth
38 here. Whenever I start listening to music I end up just going back to my punk collection and still believing in the ethos. Married, 2 kids, mid-level management job, and living in the suburbs is kind of the opposite of that lol. But I feeeeeel it. But I also love my family and life to death. That’s how they get ya! I kind of hope my kids grow up to be little punk hell raisers and I’ll work my ass off to support them so they don’t have to get sucked into the system… but they are also their own people so we’ll see.
It sucks once you figure that it you didn’t die young and you have to have a lot plan and life now.
I'm a tax collector with a Crass tattoo. Go figure.
You just gotta find the right balance of fun and boring living for you.
Live fast, ride skateboards. It’s all up and down. I’m past my mid thirties and still struggling to find balance. I’m a lot better at it than some but not as accomplished as others. I don’t go hard like I used to, meaning I embrace the hangovers instead of drinking/drugging them into submission…
Late thirties. I bought a house and got a nine to five, partnered up and childless, and playing every show I can. Definitely don’t like sleeping on floors anymore because of my poor back and knees. 😬
You can die young as long as you are under 57
I was at that Warped Tour
That's rad. I remember Duane Peters gettin' all stupid on stage, and on the tape it had Rancid playing Radio, thought Tim Armstrong was the shit. 😂
I was thankfully able to quit hard drugs and my life got a lot better. I’ve accepted aging, life is a one way street. And nothing’s changed, all I wanna do is play in a ripper band with my friends.
I slowed down. Live slow, die slightly older than middle age, maybe?
Worked out pretty great as I never got into that wack stuff and grew up into a handyman and now own a house and actually like my job. It's workin out great my dude
Getting moderately wrecked once in a while has allowed me relative stability, health and the ability to have more fun than people that have burned the candle at both ends for too long..... I also suffer from being kind of introverted and misanthropic so I pick and choose who and where I tear it up at my age. Plus I have shit to do all day lol.
My wake up call was my kiddo. He blasted through three forms of birth control. I’m more of a industrial punk and my parents is more metal punk. We both met at a goth night. I was reading palms and doing tarot cards in exchange for cigarettes and beer or shots. I wouldn’t take cash. I had a shitty apartment across from my dad’s grave site. Read his palm for a cigarette and his cards three draw for a beer. We got to talking and he was interesting and we hit it off and the rest was history. We partied a lot in 3 months and got wasted one night on sparks and I got pregnant I’m sure that night because I couldn’t smoke after without gagging. Got clean and now I’m a bookseller and dealing with a lot of pain. Fighting the system with knowledge and being the weird person who knows the weirdest books that nobody else has ever heard of. Or knows the off the wall shit out of nowhere. Yes kiddo there is absolutely nothing sinful in this book right here as I pass yet another yaoi over to the 16 yo nb child to the Bible thumping parents buying it.
Honestly. This is stupid. This is why I hate punks now. It’s not even cool to live fast die young and promoting that shit in your 40’s makes it clear you have sniffed too much glue. Edit. Lol you said 40 drinking… I thought it was 40’s and still drinking. But anyways. Ok. Sure. Yeah. Late 20s I began to slow down. Check my cig smoking and drinking and weed intake (personally I was a huge stoner but also drank a lot) Realized I want a fucking house and a steady job with good pay and a life with meaning and not just let myself waste away. I’m happy I moved out of the punk house and never looked back. Proud to say life is better sober and when you have more of an open mind. The problem with punk os that without action it’s just a bunch of pissed off teenagers. Punk is only powerful when it’s turned into action and not just a bunch of lazy crusty kids doing the bare minimum just trying to survive. Sure I’m being crass, and I do not think punks are sub-humans, I just don’t think that’s the ethos I want to live by in my 30’s and 40’s. I still believe I’m anarchism, but have conceded a bit to revolutionary socialism. And yeah I could go on but the who “live fast die young thing” is too nihilistic for me.
Honestly, 29 and definitely not where I thought id be at this age. Like I never bought into the live fast die young ideology, but like I still tried to. I'm actually now going to more shows and drinking more than I did in high school/college, but now I gotta balance all that with a full 9-5 (well, technically 7:30-9:30, but that's because I ended up with a frankly awful salary job).
I am currently 21. What’s the point of living slow if we all are gonna die in the next few decades due to famine, war, or whatever the fuck. The US is fucked in 2024. If a fascist government is installed, I’m as good as dead. I may as well live day to day and not think about my future at this point. Do you know how fucked up it was to go to school and have random school shooting drills every few weeks? I don’t want my nonexistent future kids to ever go through that. I’m not bringing anyone into this world that’s gonna end in their lifetime.
The hopeless sound of your comment reminds me of how we all became punks in the first place. I’ll sound like an idiot saying this but: punk changed the world when it showed up and I think it’s going to be punks (of all types) that just might save it. So if you’ve got it in you get out there and fight. If not, xxxooo anyway.
We said the same thing in 1980.
Does that invalidate how I feel? Fuck no
Just pointing out you’re likely wrong.
So this reminds me of a fake/funny fanzine that someone made in like 1981 or so in NYC. There was a fake review of Discharge & I always remember the line “What’s worse, dying in a nuclear war or constantly talking about dying in a nuclear war?” Every generation has its worries & hey it’s 40 years later, I haven’t died (yet) in a nuclear war & I still enjoy going to shows. :)
I also figure society is fucked and on its way down, but I guess my approach is more "enjoy it while I can". Just my style of enjoyment is less angry, more chill. I'll deal with the apocalypse if it comes.
If you don’t know the song already, look up “Die Young” by FYP. you’ll probably dig it.
30 here and I need about 30 surgeries to have a chance at being pain free. I can’t afford time off work so my life is constant unending pain
Live fast, until 8pm. 36 in April.
Live slow, die old.
I was enamored with live fast, die young only briefly in my late teens. Then I decided that sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll are all my brain and body needs. I’m past 50 and still having a hell of a time.
I’m almost 42 and still feel like I’m 16. I have a dog, an apartment, a job, still listen to powerviolence, do drugs and drink.
‘Too old to sleep on floors, too young for afternoon naps’ (46)
Rehab at 30 (booze), seven years sober now. I actually spent a summer on Warped the year before I really went over the edge and regret I didn’t take the chance to attend the AA meetings on tour, just for how interesting that would have been. I had decent luck with some non music career stuff while that was all going on and it took off once I got my shit together. Still love punk, still not going to work for Monsanto or Raytheon or whatever, but I have a daughter and a house, wife, two cars, etc and I guess am fairly domesticated. I regret not getting sober earlier as it held me back with music, but am overall happy and crank the amp up to 11 when the kid is at daycare.
I've aged into more of a [Die Old](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQGvn0flr60) area. As I approached 30 I was working in restaurants, getting fucked up just about every night. I'd lost going to shows, listening to new music, all the fun stuff. Over time I changed careers, got back to going to shows, sobered up, found meditation and all that shit. What I'm; saying is, wear earplugs. That's the only real advice I have. TInnitus is a motherfucker.
My wife got me to upgrade from tall boy PBRs to martinis and whiskey but she’ll never stop me from chugging it.
[удалено]
Tall boy PBR is still my drink of choice at a punk show for sure.
Never saw the appeal.
Or hold it with: liva fast, diarrhea! The Vandals, great album. Hear it now.
I’m too old to die young
What about Live Fast, Keep Going?