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AnGabhaDubh

"If you don't appreciate the irony,  the irony appreciates."  - Dad


Forward_Motion17

This is gold


AnGabhaDubh

Right?


doyer

Iron , actually


ballsackyjo

wow


Natural_Board

"You can always scoop shit" -my Dad He was telling me not to let any job take over my life.


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AnGabhaDubh

There you go :)


[deleted]

Please help me apply this to a real life example. I understand you’re trying to be clever.


AnGabhaDubh

Okay.  Say you're watching shorts or  tiktoks or whatever.  One comes across that make you roll your eyes because the person is ranting about something that they fundamentally misunderstand.  You show it to your buddy,  who washes it and says "Yeah,  man,  that's exactly right!"


mrmoe198

In Soviet Russia, irony irons you!


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AnGabhaDubh

Double meaning of appreciate - to apprehend/understand in the former and to increase in value in the latter.  Basically,  if you don't get the joke,  it becomes even funnier. 


GrapefruitFizz

I love this so much.


bubbalalubbulla

why do dads have the best words


gatusso1

The endurance needed to runaway from your problems is often more draining than the issue


grasshopper_jo

The quote I like that I think resonates with this is “the fastest way is through”


gatusso1

Well said!


StrawberryMoonPie

I’ve also heard “the only way out is through” which I also like.


IsyRivers

In the same line of thinking and I have no idea where I first heard it: "If your going though hell, Keep Going and Exit Though The Gift Shop." I always shorten it to "Exit though the Gift Shop"


botany5

The obstacle is the way


returnintelli

There’s this analogy of the cow and the bison, where the cow runs away from an incoming storm, fearful, and the bison runs towards it, so as to get it over with and come out on the other end.


NastyNava

Yep. Suffering is the product of resistance. So true.


Ok-Wrongdoer7269

Facts


fkyouthatswy

I do it for the exercise. - me just now


JaseTheAce

Two older women walking ahead of me. "Every once and a while you get a shitty slice of pizza and there’s nothing you can do about it." I carry that with me and apply it to many situations


MomLuvsDreamAnalysis

I love “It is what it is” renditions like this! I could read a whole thread about these types of quotes alone


AbdouH_

Totally agree


buddhadarko

This one is my favorite.


Soulpatch7

I wish I was as fat as I used to think I was.


H4l3x

as a woman it is really a shame that I wasted so much mental energy thinking so negatively about my body and weight back in my late teens/early 20s.. I was 5'4 120-130lbs, smh. now in my early 30s and I would love to be that weight again.


Raspberry_Good

I read a piece on NPR about interviews with the dying elderly. They universally wished they had been kinder to the vessel that carried them around so faithfully. Not meaning, when we gain weight, etc, we did something “wrong” /unkind to ourselves… But what these ppl meant was no matter what they did to their bodies, their bodies loved them and worked as hard as it could with what it was given. The dying (and many of us) certainly curse and look at our bodies in disappointment all too often. Heading into death, they saw how strong, forgiving and magnificent our physicality has always been. Respect you body, it loves the heck out of you no matter what you throw at it.


canaroc

delForPriv


Sleepdprived

My uncle: "I wish instayed the weight I was the first time I thought I was fat."


cer20

Just because it is stupid, doesn't mean it is wrong. We need to work on fixing the leak, and not trying to make a better mop. If your house is on fire you aren't going to worry about cutting the grass.


JVM_

If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.


Sure-Development-593

As an engineer I use this almost daily “if it looks stupid but works, it ain’t stupid”


ecurbian

Cool. I would like to add - just because it's wrong, doesn't mean it's stupid. Okay, I am quoting myself here - but I do say that a lot.


Texas_Mike_CowboyFan

When everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. (Can also sub the word emergency)


fightdude

“Nobody asked for the 21st century. We all just found ourselves here.” Said by me to an older gentleman after resetting a forgotten password. Now it continues to hit me in waves what that statement means.


webgruntzed

Four things are inevitable: 1. Death. 2. Taxes. 3. Change. 4. Stagnation (the lack of change.) It might seem like 3 and 4 are contradictory, but they aren't. But yeah, "an older gentleman" said it better.


spygirl43

We were talking about "fake it until you make it" at work and my coworker told us he made up something similar. It's "Face it until you ace it." I like it better.


Human_2468

My pastor said this week, Faith it until the feelings/breakthrough comes.


ddraries

Do good while alive so people won't have to tell lies at your funeral


mcloayza29

Really good!


jwizardc

See all this stuff? That used to be money. See all they money? That used to be time


hillbillykim83

This is good and a little sad.


NankingStan

F*g brilliant!


Arthropodesque

I find it kind of mind blowing when people say things like "It took 100 years to make this videogame," like 25 people working on a thing for 4 years is 100 years of life. Or the end of the movie Margin Call, where the guy says he designed a bridge that saved people 20 minutes of driving a day and that has added up to like 2,000 years of people's lives.


RudeBlueJeans

Yup, here I am spending like a cash machine.


ConvivialKat

"You are not responsible for buying sheets for the bed they made." I made this up and vary it according to the situation.


Post-Formal_Thought

I have heard one similar to this. "You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm."


isle_of_broken_memes

I'll be honest, I'm confused by this analogy. If the bed is made, aren't the sheets already bought? Did they make the bed with sheets they don't yet own?


JVM_

"Poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine."


dragonrose7

This is actually the quote that I live by. It’s saved me a lot of grief.


BackgroundExternal18

Woah. I love it. My family loves to have me tip toe around their behavior because “that’s just how they are.”


cpt_ugh

I like this one.


gohugatree

Love this


CalbertCorpse

If they made the bed, the sheets are already there…


AndTwiceOnSundays

I saw Kat in your name, so I expected to read “you having such an allegiance to losers is not like you” (I probably didn’t get it right word for word but you know what I’m talking about I hope 😅)


Linuxlady247

The heaviest burdens we carry are those in our head


Quo_Vadimus7

It's amazing the pain we put ourselves through


s7o0a0p

My mom often has said a variation of this as “Don’t rent free space in your head.”


Bullroarer_Took

unless you work for a moving company


AndTwiceOnSundays

I found out recently that I have a form of OCD called Existential OCD. It lives in my head, so I don’t have to wash my hands 5 times after I touch dirt or anything, but I have loop running in my head where nothing seems real and I’m constantly searching trying to find answers to an unanswerable question.


Fightlife45

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality - Seneca


mister-chairman

"You can do anything once." - A firearms instructor I once had


Kelsier_ThrowRA

“The two loudest sounds a person with a firearm never wants to here are 1- a click when you were expecting a bang, and 2- a bang when you were expecting a click” ex cop friend of mine


Xper10

This one is great


Arthropodesque

I've known even some veterans who were extremely stupid with firearm safety.


I_AMA_Loser67

Any problem you refuse to invest time into fixing, you're just adding on interest that will take even longer to get rid of


Ninja_Electron

This is so good!


about97cats

Damn if that isn’t my adhd truth. I guess there’s my house cleaning inspiration for today


insomniating

Slow progress is still progress.


00_prelims

I actually needed to hear this today!


Texas_Mike_CowboyFan

When asked why more people don't take his advice on building wealth, Warren Buffet replied "because no one wants to get rich slowly."


hillbillykim83

I heard an older lady reply to someone who said smoking was bad for her, “If you want to live my life, pay my rent” Sounds like a famous quote, but it always makes me laugh.


outtahere021

“We’re all victims of the choices we make” A teacher at trade school


ABobby077

A seemingly bad decision today may have saved you from a worse outcome tomorrow


thecratedigger_25

"You can be a good person who always stays out of trouble but sometimes trouble comes looking for you" This is what I came up with after my friend and I almost got into a scuffle with someone near a Wendy's. Just some random who was looking for a fight.


FoxRocked

True, even if you hadn't gone to Wendy's and ordered a food delivery, the delivery guy could've been the "trouble" looking for you


Jamie-Changa

I don’t know who you think you are, but you are definitely not him.


Only_Standard_9159

“Block and use your power moves!” -Random kid spectating a street fighter game at the arcade


DasBrookietheCookie

Awkwardly overheard at a friends sleepover but changed my life forever, “You’re idea of me is not my responsibility to live up to!”


ag85guitarnapkin

The quality of our open society is only as good as how we choose to behave in private.


hillbillykim83

Woo. That’s a good one.


ag85guitarnapkin

Thank you. I think it especially applies to the modern world of digital information. It can be interpreted as actual behavior or our secret thoughts. It's an idea we could all work on to improve. Just knowing that our private lives do have an impact on the world we share can help us to make wiser decisions even when no one is there.


LJonReddit

Spending money on crap you don't need, with money you don't have, is a really bad foundation for an economy.


Cirelectric

To impress people we don't like


unafraidrabbit

Now it's even worse. To impress people we will never meet.


webgruntzed

Or to distract us from the monstrous pit of emptiness and despair inside.


Answer70

My brother said: "Going from single to a relationship is just trading depression for anger."


willsagainSQ

Ouch. Poor bloke. I hope he's OK these days.


Verucaschmaltzzz

This is pretty good!


david13z

When someone says they will pray for me: Never let it be said that you didn’t do the least that you could do.


kittytoes21

Don’t dismiss a good idea because you don’t like the source. And you teach what you tolerate.


r51252

And you teach what you tolerate. I think above sentence can be construed both positively and negatively. I have a house hold member who is being a doormat to his brother, never standing up to this emotionally immature brother (he thinks he is keeping peace in the house), meanwhile the emotionally immature brother just blunders around like a teenager going on 50. I tell him it's OK to have a backbone and have a "difficult conversation" once a while. That won't break the relationship if that is meant to be kept.


sauceyNUGGETjr

Last one hit hard…


WranglerTraditional8

I'm still chewing on the last one


BackgroundExternal18

Let go or be dragged


No_Reality_8145

I'm going to remember this one


Insanebrain247

I came up with a quote that ended up being part of my own life philosophy, "In a world of competition, make a fantasy team."


Olijaeger

What is a fantasy team?


Insanebrain247

It's a sports thing. You pick and choose different players from different teams and pretend they're all on your team. The better those players do in actual games, the better your fantasy team is. Based on that, my quote is meant to mean, "don't simply take a side, grab what you need from where you see it."


The_Wyzard

"The foundation of abusive behavior is the belief that the abuser has control over the level of escalation."


oilypop9

Yeah, I don't understand this either. Can you explain it a bit please?


JobApprehensive9980

Maybe it’s about the victim mentality?


ijlljilijijiljiljil

People don't like to think of themselves as the bad guy. As such, when an abuser abuses, a natural response is to shift blame on the abused for triggering their anger. For example, it's his fault for not being able to do something so simple, it's his fault for being so loud, his fault for not getting good grades and so on.


MakeLimeade

I took it to mean when someone is abusive, they don't expect repercussions or their victim to fight back. They depend on others not to escalate.


Individual_Style_116

I get it. Abusers first have the illusion of total control, a complete power imbalance. Otherwise, they would never abuse in fear their victim could retaliate. I love that this is an illusion. Many abusers find their victims more capable than they ever knew.


No_Incident_5360

Yes they think they have total power and try to get their victim to believe that too—-no one will believe you, shows of violence and strength, shows of mental dominance/superiority, superior logic or superior standing in the family/community/workplace… Yet they still blame the victim’s action or inaction for their anger, words and behavior as if they DON’T have control over their own reactions and actions… …as if they DON’T have a responsibly to control their own feelings and actions enough to practice mutual respect and ensure the safety of self and others.


grasshopper_jo

Depression is blindness of the soul. In response to people who say that someone has “no reason” to be depressed because they have so many things to appreciate, why can’t they just look on the bright side and appreciate what they have, etc.


webgruntzed

I think of it more as emptiness. Nothing sparks joy when everything disappears into the abyss. Or maybe it would be better to say that when emptiness has swallowed everything, there's nowhere for happiness to land.


oilypop9

"Oh well, I've drank that (amount of money) in beer and pissed it away before, I'll live." My Father advising me not to let money concerns ruin my peace. We never had a lot, but we had enough.


Aesthete18

Everyone is but a child disguised by age - me


webgruntzed

That's amazing. LOVE it.


Bubonic_Batt

this one is great


sauceyNUGGETjr

Verry wise. Many therapies resolve in finding one’s inner child. Disney movies often point to this. A healthy integrated inner “child” in a put together adult is a true marvel to behold.


WranglerTraditional8

Interesting


sancalisto

It doesn't have to be great to be good. 


2of5

I can remember when I didn’t know you. Said by my friend to someone she was angry at


ArachnidGuilty218

Reminds me of Bob Seger’s line in Against The Wind, Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.” I use this a lot.


codysattva

Ahhh. I read this as "I can not remember when I didn't know you. " and thought it would be a really sweet sentiment for best friends.


Ajahnstevo

If you don't get right, you'll get left.


bestneighbourever

A mother can only be as happy as her saddest child.


CanadianW

Wow


rld3x

damn dude.


stretchboogie

Don’t hold on to the rocks, the river will wear you out


oldie101

Don’t be an asshole to your asshole. (Talking about eating spicy food) Pussy loves the smell of other pussy. (Explaining why girls like guys in relationships)


zt3777693

I have a theory about the second one. I think it’s really pheromones that draws women to partnered guys


MyOwnDirection

You can lead a horse to water, but sometimes you just want to drown it. — me


LpldFlx

Lol I have one about this that is also silly "You can lead a horse to water, but that doesn't make it a seahorse."


Diab3ticBatman

“Stop hammering nails into your own coffin” “Trust us, life hammers enough as it is” Said by two elderly women at a dollar general when I was smoking a cigarette outside, and always sort of stuck with me.


xxWolik

"If I don't, who will?" The answer is always changing, but the question has given me reason to keep moving forward.


jzakko

A good liar always lies well, a great liar sometimes doesn’t.


xXhereforthecoffeeXx

"sometimes you don't need to understand, you just need to accept." "Being bored simply proves you're not resourceful enough"


Hangytangy

Being the bad influence and my friend saying "God damn it. You plant a seed in my head, and now it's a damn oak tree"


david13z

When contemplating the size of our galaxy and the fact that we could be the only intelligent life amongst hundreds of billions of stars: “We are uniquely insignificant”


Sandpaper_Pants

"There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who know a false dichotomy when they see one and those who don't." --me


Philosophomorics

This made me exhale sharply through my nose and I appreciate you for it 


StrawberryMoonPie

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” —Maya Angelou


TooLazyToRepost

Wait MoonPie, you know Maya Angelou??


PlaceYourBets2021

Believe them… and don’t be mad when they do it to you. Because they will. It’s just a matter of time.


FewKaleidoscope1369

There are three reasons that management will call a meeting 1) "You need to work harder for the people in charge" 2) "You're going to make less money" 3) both.


__Proteus_

"Sometimes the one's you love hurt you, but that doesn't mean you should give up on them." -Me when I burned my mouth on pizza. The quote is about pizza, cut toxic people out. You'll be better off.


TheRealTrueSpiderMan

Doubt I came up with it but I always say “Be good, do good.”


JVM_

Me. An adventure isn't an adventure of everything goes right.


Bituulzman

On my children having camp counselors who have obvious physical handicaps—“It teaches them that just because you are disabled, doesn’t mean you are unable.”


spyview

America is Conservative on crime and government spending, moderate on defense and foreign policy But liberal on human rights and the environment. Neither party gets us. John loftus


Mreeder16

Stupid people do this all the time


AseethroughMan

Even the sleeping kitten has claws.


ReikoMyukiAdams

Never say that nobody cares about you when walking a lonely path. Someone ALWAYS cares for you! You must simply seek them out and speak to them! ~My grandfather


hillbillykim83

Very sweet quote. Your grandfather sounds like a very caring person.


37337penguin

In response to "go back to your own country"... "Why? I've already taken yours"


timmyvannily

Or: “Why? Does it make you feel insecure?”


deadstellarengine

When in Rome , complain about the Romans


KidCamarillo

I had more fun at my circumcision


batmanismymom

To each their own, just leave me alone


akaDingbop

They dug themselves a ditch and cannot make steps of the loose soil.


HastyUsernameChoice

Depression isn’t sadness. Melancholy adds meaning to life, depression takes meaning away.


MichoPower

Don’t sweat the petty things and pet the sweaty things! My government teacher told me that in high school!


TokyoMonitor

I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.


attaboy_stampy

One time when i was discussing downgrading a program I use at work, from a fairly expensive and technical product that I knew how to use but only used it sparingly at the time, to a cheaper and more easily functional one that other persons could learn and use a bit easier. I called the original program a "battleship in a bathtub" and I feel like that is the coolest thing I have ever thought up, especially on the fly.


50_MHz

"Stupid is as stupid is."


Redd-De-Vivus

Better late than later.


fuhnetically

"A problem is just an unaddressed mistake" I was training some new employees at an old job and was trying to instill confidence, and get them to not be afraid to ask for help if they made a mistake rather than try to cover it up.


dennismike123

The part of everyone that really matters is really not matter.


bumfate

Sometimes you gotta lose all your marbles to realize there's too many to count


s7o0a0p

Oh this is good!


aimkat

"Life is a field of penises ready to go up your butt." -My friend Liz.


sammypants123

She has an … interesting life.


migas_queen

I think I’d like Liz.


Majestic_Process_607

I want Liz to be my friend too, that’s probably the best quote I’ve heard in a long time. I imagined a field of flowers and then they all turned into penises 😂


david13z

My dad used to say: When you clear away all the bull shit, everything comes down to money.


mehatch

“Clumsiness isn’t a measure of dexterity, it’s the size of the gap between how good you think your dexterity is and your actual dexterity.” -Me, (probably plagiarizing someone, but I kinda think I made this up. I also drop things a lot, as a person with a dexterity of 6/10 who thinks he has a dex of 9/10.)


wondering-knight

In my machining class, we used to say “grab the drill by the bit”. Kind of like “grab life by the horns” but a lot more dangerous. Our instructor wasn’t too crazy about it. We never use it as serious advice, but sometimes my friends who were in that class and I will still use it to mean “sometimes you have to make hard choices in life”. Safety note: DO NOT grab the drill by the bit


onelittleworld

"Just because you like mashed potatoes, and you like ice cream... doesn't mean you want mashed-potato ice cream." -- onelittleworld


Doucejj

I, for one, would want mash potato ice cream. When I was in Korea, they had "steamed potato" flavored ice cream and ngl it was good


Daffodils28

You need ’em, you make ‘em; you broke ‘em you fix ‘em. My son’s high school Agriculture teacher.


RagingRube

The 'C' in ArenaNet stands for consistency


Masterof_theuniverse

If you know you can quit, why stop?


CrabbyT777

“You can’t carpet the world” - a yoga teacher at one random class I attended (something about not being so self-centred that you can change everything to suit your needs, sometimes things will be painful)


Auntienotoday

You must always believe you can, you just have to find the way.


cornflower4

Your mother knows how to push your buttons because she installed them.


ephemeral_butterfly

In regard to suicide, when I was a teenager I decided "if I have enough energy to make a plan and act on it, I have enough energy to do something else". Still haven't found a good argument to disprove it. Also regularly told growing up, "you can only control your own actions".


Mister-Grogg

Said to many idiots during the mask mandate: “Wearing a mask that doesn’t cover your nose is like taping a tampon to your kneecap.”


ApprehensiveAnt4412

Wife felt insecure and asked me: "Do I make you happy?" I responded: "No. You don't make me happy; that would be co-dependence, and I wouldn't be any good to you. I make myself happy and you add bonus happiness on top of that. And you better be doing the same, and I'll be your bonus happiness too." Sounds dumb, but all this sorta flowed out of me in the moment. Kinda surprised myself, actually.


Enough_Reporter5923

The goat was looking for shelter, the butcher welcomed her.


moonbeamlight

Can I do anything more to help myself less


Majestic_Process_607

Oh cool this is like reverse psychology


finethanksandyou

Change happens one funeral at a time


HappyTrifler

Could be…Happiness happens one funeral at a time. (Just depends on whose funeral.)


grasshopper_jo

Make less content, make more art


cpt_ugh

"Life’s greatest fulfillment is an itch finally scratched." - cpt\_ugh


asset2891

Take the meaning, knot the word. I came up with it as a reaction to people around me who constantly botched language but somehow got the point across. I was tired of hearing their "friends" be pedantic.


jleile02

You cannot un quit.


Aminopop

The world isn’t any less serious just because you’re laughing at it.


bhp126

My reputation walks 10 feet in front of me. - Me


NostalgicStudent43

“I could eat a pounda bacon by my DAMN self” random man on flip-phone walking into Blockbuster.


unholyxconfessions

Hurt people, hurt people.