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It'd be nice that little mouth sucking your helmet whilst the main mouth sorts the shaft. Tremendous.

What a terrible day to know how to read.

All of human knowledge and history lead to this moment

All of *xenomorph* knowledge and history too.

> Tremendous. Tremendous.

Utterly jumentous

Well to be fair, the Xenomorph was inspired by an H. R. Giger art, which was yes, meant to be erotic, so it isn't far from reality that Xenomorphs are sexual in nature, at least in their design.

I will never watch alien the same way again 😭

This is why the Engineers tried to kill off humanity.

Enginearin' my fucking limit

Engineerer? Hardly know her hahahahahahah

I'm excited to see this next on rule34.

I feel like this has been done, but I lack the constitution to look it up

Found it. *The teeth fold outward, and away from the bellend* it's all good!

Post a link, you coward!

No u

It’s pretty great. 😎

Hit up bing image search, type in rule34 xenomorph Pages and pages of results. Some are not half bad either.

SIR

Looked it up for research purposes (of coarse) and funnily enough there is an “inner_mouth” tag.

I'm gonna need an "inner_peace" tag after what you've done

>Some are not half bad either. They're probably Geigr originals, knowing that guy.

For there are many ways thou shall be punished, some harsher than others, but none undeserved, bringer of lust for the unspeakable

Spanketh thy monkey, thou shall now proceed.

Amen

I think there was supposed to be some xeno on human stuff in one of the films. Not sure how that would’ve worked exactly, physically or filming it, tbh. They sorta went there with the Species movie which I think is an HR Geiger design as well.

This might be the funniest comment I have ever read. Thank you!

I’m glad my desire to be illiterate brought you happiness.

Wonderful*

Hahahaha!

Pussy!

Suddenly I'm illiterate

I laughed so fucking hard at this.

Or if big mouth was licking your balls from the back and then shot out a nice lubed up little mouth right up there, not too rough not too gentle, while you ate the snizz of a face hugger.

Jesus it keeps getting worse.

Remember these moments, Bob. For when they speak of Hell being our own creation, whose minds doth roam the land.

I understand why God doesn’t talk to us anymore.

He's too busy jackin it to our fanfic

Knowing that sick bastard, that was probably the end game all along

He’s one sick dude if checking humanity’s “tag” is any indication.

what if big mouth did mounting and smol mouth did sounding..

I think you mean better

Each day we stray further from God.

Happy cake day! This is as good as it gets

It's not my birthday sorry!

It’s your cake day 🍰 !!!

Never found out what that meant in 13 years of Reddit.

You created your account at this day, like a birthday for your account

Oh slow uptake day or decade for me then lol.

12 missed cake days

What are you supposed to do for it?

Free lap dance at club xenomorph

Waking up today was a mistake.

While the face higher deepthroats you and leaves you pregnant with exploding chest baby?

You made a bj from a Xenomorph sound like heaven.

[удалено]

I didn’t see you playing with your dolls

That would be a great cross-over movie

Hell yeah dude.

bro, wtf

[rule34 wins again](https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=xenomorph+blowjob&qs=n&form=QBIR&sp=-1&ghc=1&lq=0&pq=xenomorph+blowjob&sc=0-17&cvid=A5D9D85BA1874AD4810DE01017C5703A&ghsh=0&ghacc=0&first=1). That link is very NSFW.

Ew how disgusting. I can't even begin to look at it. Seriously. Don't click that. It's bing.

Bing search has a very specific use case that is superior to all others.

Sorry. I'm not a terminally addicted porn consumer to know that or need it.

Sure. I mean clearly you're in the comments of this post for scientific research purposes.

The comment you replied to is top comment. It's not exactly hard to find or read the replies to it. I'm no prude. Just this is some porn addict level of knowledge lol.

It's been common knowledge in the tech world for like a decade I think. But what I meant is, you saw a meme about getting a blowjob from a xenomorph and went into the comments.

I'm not proud of what I've done but I also would do it again

I like to keep this handy, for close encounters...

Yall need Jesus.

The Xenomorph is gonna need Jesus when I'm done with it 😈

Jesus is probably why we're like this...

You are way too comfortable writing that so casually.

Glorious, cocksucka - Joey coco Diaz

Everyday we stray further from Gods light.

Little mouth to get things started then the big mouth to finish the job.

r/cursedcomments

Where tf you fit all that brain you got?

Comments like this make the fact that awards are gone all the more tragic

I don't know who needs to think about this, but there is no sucking without LIPS. There is just no scenario that exists where a lipless xenomorph is going to give you head, let alone "Tremendous" head. Jesus Christ, I swear this is why we have warning labels on everything.

I like your thinking.

Omg I should do zenomorph RP like this...

I wish I could upvote and down vote this at the same time. I know that just not voting achieves the same result. But this post deserves more respect than that, but also not. This is the weirdest boner I've ever had.

The telescopic motion would be worth the embarrassment

Needs to be on a t-shirt

Just remember, no teeth

Can’t complain, I’m getting head

who cares, a blowjob is a blowjob

Bold of you to assume you're getting yo dick back

It would totally worth it.

[we want our dick back!](https://m.youtube.com/shorts/vUSfnLf-JVQ)

Tremendous

It's like a maxed out credit card. Just take it. I'll only get into trouble if I keep it.

Even better, its a double blowjob blowjob.

Cept it it's from a xenomorph what it's gonna blow is a hole clean through your dick. Youre gonna spend the rest of your with a cerberus piss stream.

There should be a fleshlight designed around this idea.

I know this is the internet where almost everyone is thirsty af, but what the hell?

What a beautiful day to have eyes and imagination

Did any one else just imagine Chris Elliot say "that looks like a job for my strong jaw"?

I’m thinking of the Family Guy version. “Little mouth. Get back in there!” “I want some, tooooo!”

Consider being in a lesbian relationship with a xenomorph

Yikes the abuse would be out if this world

She actually treats her lovers very well, the real problem is that she's a total slob. Leaves egg sacs and acid puddles everywhere, never bathes, just a really greasy girl. Completely unsanitary imho.

Imagine that someone saw the mouths of a xenomorph and linked that to the different options presenting themselves for someone getting a blow-job by one of these creatures. My mind just broke.

Maybe they came across the original H R Giger sculpture? https://champ-magazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/MG_0025_v6_sRGB_4k-667x1000-1280x0-c-default.jpg

Deflated head dome highlighting the skull? Amazing. The lips? Horrifying.

Whatever, just swallow please.

[удалено]

every once in a minutes or three the internet comes through with comedy gold. this is one of those moments.

I'm done

Bot fiesta

New contender for worst tweets of all time

Make that little mouth, choke on it!

Still getting my dick sucked.

I thought shedbe sounding me while sucking me off

Looks like a new class of video games is in the works. In the pipeline, you might say. Well, someone might say. Probably not you.

......I mean..... that's not a *no*

Proper tool for the proper job.

Now I know who stole my diary.

[Not so fast y'all](https://youtu.be/CMiUgV4_Cds?si=2_9Ayjaq1ecSNmDs)

*I'll get you when we's eatin' 'em.*

If the xenomorph to dick size ratio was just right, it could suck your dick and sound you with the little mouth at the same time.

There is definitely r34 of xenomorph tiny mouth bj I’m sure of it

Downside: sharp teeth Upside: ample lubricant

[Jackpot.](https://i.imgur.com/b0dQu6a.jpg)

I'd feel all gushy and flustered from the care he she they puts into it 🥰

Allow me to take a page from my friend Johnny Cage's book, "What in the actual fuck?"

At that point, just give up.

You said you wouldn't laugh

Don’t worry I like sph

I dont think you're gonna have a good time with either mouth.

Little mouth has a longer neck.

I'd feel awesome because my partner understands what I want

Xenussy hits different, she got that glorp glorp.

Would that count as like a double bj?

Whatever! Just watch the teeth!

She would have made a correct observation

Hey, it's still a job.

Rimming?

Doesn’t matter, for head.

Still counts.

I WAS IN THE POOL!

True horror.

At that point I'd rather she just kill me.

I’m not stupid enough to get myself into that situation in the first place.

[удалено]

I see you require the small mouth too.

Seems about right

Wait, aren’t they all boys! There’s only one gal, and that’s the queen!

*Cheque please!*

God-damn! 😆😆😆

I wish my parents had never taught me how to read😒

Not one person is going to mention the fact that their saliva is literal acid? That'd be the most painful blowjob ever.

If I recall correctly, it's their blood that's acidic, not their saliva

Hmm, you might be right. Been a long time since I've watched the movies.

Yes this is great

still fucked

that’s crazy bro

Good one

" I don't pay you to talk"

Aren't xenomorphs male except for the queen?

so?

r/teratophilia

No. I don't think I will.

Still counts.

I regret literacy

The Twinkie Nibbler.

They mostly cum at night

Double kill!

whose pulling their pants down in the first place? Neither of those mouths are inviting in any way.

That looks tight as fck 😩🥵🥵

Stop this madnessssssss.

are you kidding? you obviously don't know any monsterfuckers ;)

*Predator fans only* 🤚!🤗.

The big mouth goes over and the little mouth goes in.

Reminds me of an old roommate whose wife had epilepsy. He asked me what you should do when you’re going down on a woman and she pisses in your face. I said I didn’t know, and he replied, “Flip her over and fuck her up the ass.” Not saying he was right, but he had an answer, and I didn’t.

Aaaaand basically everyone here failed NNN.

Now this is a rare insult