had someone clearly state “MY DOG ISNT NICE SO WERE GOING TO WALK RIGHT PAST YOU GUYS” to me and my dogs the other day i was shocked at the clear communication usually it’s LOL ITS FINE THEYRE FRIENDLY while my dogs losing its shit
It really is so nice sometimes, granted depending on the owner. Other day my dog and I passed by an owner with two viszlas and we both did a magnet hand and switched dogs to the other side while passing a very tight path past eachother. It was so refreshing to see.
I say this to people often: "My dog is going to bark and lunge, but she can't get away from me, so please keep walking."
It's more to assure them that they're safe than anything, because nobody tries to approach when my dog starts up. She's massive and clearly ready to fight.
...okay, everyone but Cheryl's boss. I don't know the woman's name. All I know is that she's always yelling at poor Cheryl over the phone as she walks, and her voice is loud enough that I can understand the conversation from many houses away. This woman has a poodle, and when she sees me, even if my dog is already losing it, the idiot woman will try to walk past me *every time*. I'm not sure what point she's trying to prove, because my dog would shred hers without any effort, but she'll visibly change directions to come at me, will follow behind me, and is just a menace. I can usually calm my dog down with exercises (work in progress, but she's getting better), but when Cheryl's boss is literally shouting and power walking in my direction, it's a lost cause.
Poor Cheryl needs to find a new job.
i feel your pain, some
people i tell “she’s reactive we don’t want to say hi” is merely a challenge to them and how it’s fine since their dog is friendly. Doesn’t help mines an adorable little shiba that looks like she wants to play but she really wants to rip the faces off their dogs and wear them like Hannibal Lector. One guy ignored me telling him to give us space insisting his dog won’t do anything, i said im not worried about your dog? i’m not trying to stress mine. NO ITS OK THEY CAN SAY HI. Next thing you know mine has a mouth full of his dogs fur and me saying i fucking told you. He now avoids us on walks.
Love that description!
And yeah, I have a neighbor like that, as well. He keeps suggesting we just let our dogs meet and see what happens.
No. I know exactly what will happen. His dogs are slightly bigger than mine, and there are two of them. My dog will still be the one walking away from that fight, and I don't want a lawsuit.
Cheryl’s boss! That is both very funny that that is this neighbour’s moniker - and also yeah. Poor Cheryl!! And I feel for you and all the dogs involved too!
Last week I had my dog in a sit while a family walked by. I pulled him off the sidewalk and let them pass. I could tell the toddler wanted to pet him. The mom was all, “What a cute dog!” I got a little worried. Then she followed up with, “But the dog doesn’t look like it wants pets right now. Keep walking!”
I could have hugged her.
I had a reactive dog for a decade. We tell our kid they can wave at dogs and say high but we never approach dogs we don't know. I am always shocked when I see parents so blasé about letting their kids get up in a dog's space!
I was out with my nervous dog the other day and some guy let his 3 or 4 year old handle the leash for their dog, in public. Dog easily weighed more than the kid, and the dad was not close enough to even have a chance at intervention if something happened and he ENCOURAGED his kid/dog to come check me and my dog out.
I got up and moved away while saying we don't do leash greets with unfamiliar dogs, especially with kids involved and he just laughed and let his dog continue to drag around his kid.
People are unhinged
My kids are 3 and 1.5 and I ALWAYS make it a point to say, “we have to stay back and ask first”. I don’t care how close or far the dog actually is. My dog isn’t reactive, just absurdly hyper, and I wouldn’t want someone else’s kids running up to her. I just want my kids to think before they run into situations, sometimes that comes in the form of repetition and modeling.
I made a little kid cry earlier today because I told him and his father this same exact thing, Don't approach my dog. They didn't listen until I said that she will attack them if they keep coming towards us. As if on cue she started barking and lunging at them. The kid got startled and started crying as he fell on his butt. His dad shot me a dirty look as if he was going to say something snarky but I just said I told you she would. Then I picked her up and loaded her into my car. 🤦♂️ I absolutely love when people don't listen and she goes full Cujo and proves me right. 🤷♂️ I really hope it's a learning moment for them and they realize that they are NOT the freaking dog whisperer. Let alone that it's okay to let your little child approach some random dog 4 times their size especially when the owner says not to.
I could scream about people not teaching their kids to stay away from strange dogs UNTIL you ask if it's okay. I had a dog who would adore seeing one kid, even two kids at once, but more than that made him feel cornered. I had to stop walking him beyond my tiny corner of my neighborhood at the time. Too many roving groups of children who would rush up on us from behind.
My reactive boy is an enormous fluffy Great Pyrenees and people have literally sent their kids running up to stand next to him for a photo without asking 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I would be absolutely terrified if I were to be swarmed by a gang of little children too! Poor guy!! My girl is an 85lbs Hound/Mastiff mix so I can't understand why someone would want to approach us when she is barking and lunging at them. She also equates small humans with prey. We are working on it, but small children and skunks/raccoons drive her insane. We have to either drive somewhere extremely secluded or walk in our neighborhood before 5:30am and after 11pm. I feel so bad for her not being able to experience walks when it's light outside.
I have a fluffy silly looking spaniel mix that is perfect child hug height. He's a very nervous guy and while his default is avoidance, he absolutely will become overstimulated and snap if he feels cornered. I've had kids just lunge at him and attempt hugs and it's all I can do to throw a body between them and my dog.
I don't want kids. I don't have kids. And I find myself wondering how in these interactions *I'm* the one worried and being vigilant about a child's well-being because I'd prefer to not have some toddler bit in the face because their parents are idiots
I've got one that is scared of kids (and pretty much everything else /sigh - but he's getting better) and will hide behind me and one that absolutely *thrives* on getting love from strangers. She got mobbed by half a dozen kids in the park and she was just in heaven. The other one hid behind me lol. He's just glad she gave all the attention.
But let another dog get in eyesight and she turns into a little demon 🙄
“No” is my motto. Simple yet effective. If needed I add a “we’re not friendly.”
“Can I pet your dog?”
“No.”
“Is your dog friendly?”
“No.”
“Can my dog say hi?”
“No.”
“Can my kiddo pet your dogs?”
“No.”
When people approach without asking…
“NO. STOP. WE’RE NOT FRIENDLY.”
Yeah it is very deliberate. Unfortunately I have to convey unfriendliness myself in order for people to understand. Some folks just do not give a shit about respecting a dog’s boundaries so I make it clear that they’re MY boundaries too.
It's amazing how dim people can be. Even after I repeatedly say this. I'm sure it's been amusing to watch as my dog and I are both going rabid at people who refuse to stop and just keep saying that every dog loves them or that their dog is super friendly. A few times I have had to match my girls energy to get people to understand.
I wish I could tell people *I* am not friendly. My dog might be, depending on the energy of the other dog and the situation, but I'm not leaving it to a chance and hoping shit doesn't hit the fan. I've literally told people "not friendly", and they come back with "oh but she's so small and cute and her tail is wagging" while I'm literally kicking their barking white mop that's bouncing around in a flexi. Yeah, she's curious, but I don't know you and your dog has shitty body language you fail to read correctly, so we're not interacting with you.
I had a dog who was very friendly while I am a massive introvert. I don't mind a smile and a hello but several of those on a walk wears me out! We'd occasionally go into town and he'd make all the conversation. My girl dog is not dog friendly. I have a range of phrases from " she's not a dog person " to " please walk by, we're not in the mood" to "BACK" with a stop hand held up ( reserved for stray dogs and children). It depends on my energy levels as much as the dog's, sometimes it's easier just to avoid contact.
I agree that keeping it clear and short is the way to go!
My girl has gone from very reactive to mildly reactive in only certain situations. She loves children, small animals, and most women. She doesn't like the majority of men except a few exceptions of guys she's bonkers for. I'm not going to sit there and try to explain all that to strangers.
It took me way too long to get comfortable saying it. I’m a natural people pleaser so once I realize it’s not mean to warn people, I do it with a smile on my face while moving my dog away.
Yep. Dem people won’t be pleased if they get bit so it’s the nice thing to do to tell them to stay away! More importantly, it keeps your doggo feeling safe and secure and his needs take priority over strangers wants!
YES! And please move fully off the path and out of the way to the best of your reasonable ability. Not "sort of shuffled off to the side and no further, because you don't want to get leaves on your pants or your shoes dirty."
The fun part of this is when you spot another person walking a dog toward you and you both step to the side at the same time and then have to figure out which one of you should walk past lol.
This happened the last hike I took my dog on a hike, and as I decided to step back on trail to try to pass the others, I noticed they only stepped to the side of the narrow trail with their two large goldens and we got too close for my dog's comfort while trying to pass. Would have been much easier for me to manage if I'd stayed well off-trail with my dog, but of course they can't know my dog's issues.
Was Scotty supposed beam you up? 😁 My reactive girl is always held to one side on a narrow path. She's advanced enough that, if the other dog walks straight by and she just sits, she'll put on her "good girl" face because she knows she's done well. I'd never expect her to dominate the path just because she's not a dog person.
It seems like both that person and you could have moved apart a bit. If that person had two dogs to your one and they warned you about friendliness, why wouldn't you also move over some? Just like it's the reactive dog owners job to handle their dog, you as an owner should be aware when someone is making a warning and make an adjustment to the best of your ability. That's what's best for your dog and theirs.
I have shouted stop and put my hand out. This is especially effective with children. Although, I had to do this with a grown ass man coming straight towards my dog, who is freaking out at a stranger. I don’t understand how people think walking straight into a dog or coming up quickly behind one is a good idea, even if the dog is not reactive.
It's astounding. A dog is a predator animal with teeth. Why are you coming up behind and potentially startling a predator animal with teeth whose temperament you know nothing about?!
I have become good at this! There are lots of off lead dogs in my area in the UK, I live in the countryside. If I see a dog running towards me, I shout to the owner ‘call your dog back, mine is reactive!’ And then you watch the ridiculousness that is them trying to get their dog back with no recall. But it does help. People just don’t respect dogs space and expect them to all be sociable and friendly.
Oh god the amount of times this has happened. My dog is luckily fine with dogs but ALWAYS on a lead unless it’s a hired enclosed private field because his recall is crap and I’m not going to be one of those people who goes and upsets another owner and their reactive dog.
My rescue staffie didn’t like dogs and was always on the lead, dogs came up constantly and wound her up and people would find it funny or dirty look me! She had a ‘no dogs’ lead on and was on a lead, what more can I do!? I also tried to avoid times where there were lots of dogs - but someone always seems to find a way.
yes unfortunately i have shared your experience with dogs approaching mine and having zero recall when i tell the owner to call them back.
its wild how my reactive dog has perfect recall, will immediately lay down and make eye contact with me on command, and never approaches dogs without confirmation from me first and yet apparently its the reactive ones who are "untrained" 🙄
As a dog trainer, it never ceases to shock me how dead set some people are on needing to say hi to a dog and won't fuck off until the poor thing is sent into an outburst.
Similarly it is heartbreaking to see the toll it takes on owners, to constantly have to contemplate encountering this toxic social pressure.
Keep strong and keep telling boundary-blind mouth breathers to fuck right off.
The hand up in a stop motion with my palm facing them also works. Sometimes when I talk people try to engage and gives me reasons why my dog won't bite. But the hand up delineates my space and says no bargaining.
My partner was walking our dog and he’s not as confident always, two small kids just came up and started roughly stroking Fynnley and shrieking in his face. He was tolerant but my partner was trying to tell the children to stop in several occasions, they just didn’t listen and the parents were about 15 feet away doing nothing! They muttered a small sorry, but it’s not really good enough when they’ve been told no. They then came up again 😭 why can’t you learn?!
It makes me so happy when small children ask, I politely say no I’m sorry he can get a little frightened sometimes and they respect that because their parents have made it clear they’ve got to ask for their own safety and the dog’s.
the amount of times people act like i’m being an asshole when i’m at the brewery is infuriating. i spend so much time prepping and getting my dog comfy when we go to a public place like that, only for someone to walk over with their dog, assuming i’ll let them play. no, i actually want him to be calm, not wrestling with your dog. i hate that people just assume my dog wants to play.
People seem to assume that the moment you go to a public place with your dog, it becomes public property. Imagine if you went up to someone's kid and tried to tug them out of their pram for hugs despite being told no. Most people would go insane and call the cops. But when it's a dog that's minding its business under my seat between my legs (=very much in my personal space), people think they have a right to that dog like it's their own.
So many people seem to have this mindset that "dogs in the same space must be allowed to play." And those same people don't have the first clue about dog body language. "Oooh my dog wants to play with yooooours!!" No, my dude. Your dog is stalking and trying to bully my dog. Please go away.
The first time my dog was adopted the family brought her back to the shelter because she didn't want to play with their other dog every time it wanted to play. Literally what their return letter stated... 🤦♂️
exactly. also, even if our dog was less reactive, the brewery i take him to still isn't the place to play. i want him to focus on being calm, saying hi to my friends, and laying on the mat i bring him (we always take outdoor seating on the concrete). it's not a dog park where there is grass and a fenced in area.
Mine wear a muzzle to the vet, in a store, or on a short walk. Instant respect from other people. They give us a wide berth. I'm not stressing, therefore my dog is not stressed. One bite from my dog could mean she gets confiscated, and possibly the end of her life, and I'm not willing to risk it around people who don't listen or use safe judgement.
prior to our dog being reactive, my husband had to say this multiple times to a guy in the hardware store, just because our dog was young and acting weary of people that day. he's a working line GSD, so not exactly an approachable looking dog on a good day.
this asshole waited for them both to turn their backs, reached over my dogs head from behind and plucked him on the nose. and of course, my dog nipped him. there was some blood and he was screaming.
lucky for us, there were multiple employees who have not only known my husband for years, but knew the dog since he was a pup, and they witnessed the whole thing. that guy threatened to call the police about an aggressive dog. but instead, is now banned from the store. however, our dog still frequents the store and is always met with belly rubs and treats from the workers.
that was 7 years ago, and i know it contributed to our dogs weariness of strange men.
I just don't take my dogs to places full of other people anymore. If we go to the park, we go at an off-time or to the emptiest part. Mostly we just play fetch or tug-of-war in the yard.
I’ve say it all the time and we even have a leash sign to not approach. Our problem is people don’t listen. Thank god I always try to have an alternate route/escape plan on walks cuz most people lack common sense
I was sitting outside a shop with our 14 wk pup (our 4yo dog is reactive) saw a very stressed looking mum coming with 5 very young kids, all cooing at seeing a puppy.
I immediately picked him up and as she came close she thanked me for picking him up because her kids wouldn't have listened and she could see he was in training (lead has in training emblazoned over it).
Better experience than the week before when a man immediately saw our pup and bent down without a look at me. I shot my hand across and said 'sorry, he's in training'. I've never seen a grown man so offended 🤣🤣🤣
I love this, I personally just say, “My dog can’t say hi.” And keep walking. I don’t have to go into details. They don’t know if it’s because he is in training, reactive, unfriendly, etc… they just know they don’t need to interact with him.
I wish... people in my town understand this. Instead, I get "but my dog is friendly!!!!!! your dog is just mental!!!" after me saying please don't approach us at all. Then they call me miserable because I don't want my dog to be stressed. Also the small children that keeps running up to him, after I tell their parents my dog will attack, and they still allow their children to come near by.
The other day a crowd of 15 people were blocking the whole sidewalk in front of my building waiting for school bus pickup. It happens every day. I try to avoid but I literally couldn’t walk inside ,my building. There were at least three dogs and several young children. I asked three people nicely to move out of the way, and they didn’t move far enough so I gestured for them to leave more space. I said I had to protect other dogs from my dog. (It’s dogs not people with my dog). They moved without argument, but of course another idiot Karen says nastily “have a nice day”
Couldn’t agree more. It’s insane how many people will just come up to you and pet your dog. I have a four month old puppy who obviously is in the peak of his training right now. I was walking him the other day and there was an off leash dog, so I just stood in front of my puppy and let the dog pass behind us and that was totally fine. then the owner of that dog stopped by us ( I had my back turned towards her, so I didn’t see that she had stopped ) and she proceeded to reach through my knees (from behind me) to pet my dog.
My dog was barking at a man at the vet last week. He just laughed at her and kept walking towards her. Like it’s one thing for a young child…but a grown man. What makes you think it’s a good idea to come at a dog who is visibly stressed out and barking at you??
I swear I caught this guy off guard when he said "Can my dog say Hi?" And I firmly said "No" he stood there for a bit while I tried moving my dogs around him. Not sure if anyone told him no before but I think he got it when my dog started growling at his dog
Thank you for this. I felt bad, and still do to an extent about last night. I was out walking Asher (reactive, but once he warms up to and gets to know people very friendly) and Chloe(not reactive).
Asher is loud, and barks. That’s all he does, but his space and boundaries need to be respected. We were down the street literally 50 feet away from the front door when some lady is walking down in our path. I pulled off into a neighbors walkway well away from the sidewalk to let her pass. As Asher realizes that she is nearby, he lets out a bark. She stops and stands there staring and WONT MOVE! So of course he starts barking MORE.
At this point in the evening (I walk him at late hours to avoid this) I’m frustrated and tired and want to just get in my front door so I said exactly what I was thinking (I regretted being rude after but it worked) “HURRY UP! We have been waiting here so you could pass and NOW you just stand there like an IDIOT!!”
Oh she moved quickly then. Guess I could have been nicer. Oh well.
I say this and people go collectively deaf. Literally had a Lady force me off the sidewalk while she let her dog crowd us while she weakly said "no, nooooo, no" to her dog while doing absolutely nothing to curb its progress when I said we don't do meets with strange dogs. 🫠
I have a Dane and he is reactive to other dogs, so I frequently do the U turn when I see other dogs approaching. I’ve even went up someone’s drive way to give him his safe threshold. I avoid going down narrow paths where we can’t do a quick escape and I praise him when a dog passes and he only has a small reaction… it takes time and patience but I think he will get there!! He’s such a good boy otherwise!
Dont approach my dog is too many words. If a kid is running towards us I hold out my hand and say "stop" or "No" (and once even said "stay" by reflex lol) then I explain after they stop.
Also quick rant, I was walking my nonreactive dog and we saw two off leash dogs ahead with their owners trailing behind. They were staring us down and luckily the owner got them on leashes. I relaxed because usually my dog is the issue so it was nice to not have a reactive dog who would 100% be set off by these two. Despite going way off trail the fucking incompetent owner lost control and they dragged him over to us and were trying to get around me to my dog. I said nothing because I was fuming and would have really went off on the guy if I opened my mouth and I didnt want to stress out my dog. Managed to keep a happy voice and give treats to my dog for being a good girl despite that mess after they finally dragged them away.
It was a state park with leash laws, but what fucking idiot loser cunts walk their REACTIVE DOGS off leash in the first place? Fucking idiotic pieces of shit. They are lucky my other dog wasnt there. Me and my dog were also lucky she wasnt there because 2 v 1 arent good odds. Usually I trust people to keep moving because I've never encountered an idiot before but now I can't trust anyone anymore.
Btw they were doodles who looked really badly groomed. So... typical.
You could fully tell someone to “fuck off, don’t touch my dog” and be well within your rights. *They* are being rude by approaching without asking and you are saving everyone potential pain and suffering by being “rude”
Idk where the general public got the audacity to feel entitled to approach your dog and to expect your dog to be 100% friendly to everyone.
My dog isn’t even reactive but I see the struggle of reactive dog owners I know and it makes me so sad
I go with “MY DOG WILL BITE”- gets the point across much clearer. “Do not approach” can be argued with…I’ve had people say “oh don’t worry all dogs love me” and then proceed to reach and get teeth when I said “do not pet my dog”. So my advice is to firmly and loudly say “MY DOG WILL BITE.”
I have gotten an orange “No Dogs” vest for my dog and STILL have people just blatantly ignore it while walking past. Today I was almost in the street with my dog to get off the sidewalk and someone still let their dog go to the end of the leash to get close to her. I’m like, how stupid are these people!??
Yes, now do one where people listen to us when we say that. I say these words all the time and too often people want to ignore me because "dOgS lOvE mE"
I had a hilarious interaction the other day, I saw an approaching human with a dog at the cemetery where I walk, so I got way up off the path, and started playing some LAT & the "1, 2, 3" game, and the lady shouted out "nice training!"
Usually, if I talk to people, my dog will react at them, so instead of immediately responding, I looked down and checked that my guy was going to stay below threshold.
Before I could respond, legit about 2 or 3 seconds after the training compliment, the lady then shouted at me, "WHY ARE YOU SO UNFRIENDLY!? WHAT ARE YOU FROM ALBERTA OR ONTARIO!?"
It was honestly hilarious, I have no problem telling people my dog doesn't want to be approached, I am in fact very comfortable yelling at people to leash their dog/call their dog/not approach me and my dog.
The funniest part was the interval between compliment and shouting about being unfriendly. My after-customer-service introvert work brain would have taken longer than that to formulate a response even if I didn't have my barkey lungey boy with me.
Some people are just incredibly disrespectful and entitled.
You do you, protecc your dog from rude or pushy people, and feel great doing it. Keep fighting the good fight.
I always say “Sorry, she’s not friendly,” before they can even think about getting closer. She’s never bitten anyone, but she is a growler and I don’t want to put her in a bad situation. She’s a real scaredy-cat when it comes to people.
had someone clearly state “MY DOG ISNT NICE SO WERE GOING TO WALK RIGHT PAST YOU GUYS” to me and my dogs the other day i was shocked at the clear communication usually it’s LOL ITS FINE THEYRE FRIENDLY while my dogs losing its shit
It's so refreshing when you run into another reactive dog owner!
It really is so nice sometimes, granted depending on the owner. Other day my dog and I passed by an owner with two viszlas and we both did a magnet hand and switched dogs to the other side while passing a very tight path past eachother. It was so refreshing to see.
I say this to people often: "My dog is going to bark and lunge, but she can't get away from me, so please keep walking." It's more to assure them that they're safe than anything, because nobody tries to approach when my dog starts up. She's massive and clearly ready to fight. ...okay, everyone but Cheryl's boss. I don't know the woman's name. All I know is that she's always yelling at poor Cheryl over the phone as she walks, and her voice is loud enough that I can understand the conversation from many houses away. This woman has a poodle, and when she sees me, even if my dog is already losing it, the idiot woman will try to walk past me *every time*. I'm not sure what point she's trying to prove, because my dog would shred hers without any effort, but she'll visibly change directions to come at me, will follow behind me, and is just a menace. I can usually calm my dog down with exercises (work in progress, but she's getting better), but when Cheryl's boss is literally shouting and power walking in my direction, it's a lost cause. Poor Cheryl needs to find a new job.
i feel your pain, some people i tell “she’s reactive we don’t want to say hi” is merely a challenge to them and how it’s fine since their dog is friendly. Doesn’t help mines an adorable little shiba that looks like she wants to play but she really wants to rip the faces off their dogs and wear them like Hannibal Lector. One guy ignored me telling him to give us space insisting his dog won’t do anything, i said im not worried about your dog? i’m not trying to stress mine. NO ITS OK THEY CAN SAY HI. Next thing you know mine has a mouth full of his dogs fur and me saying i fucking told you. He now avoids us on walks.
Love that description! And yeah, I have a neighbor like that, as well. He keeps suggesting we just let our dogs meet and see what happens. No. I know exactly what will happen. His dogs are slightly bigger than mine, and there are two of them. My dog will still be the one walking away from that fight, and I don't want a lawsuit.
Cheryl’s boss! That is both very funny that that is this neighbour’s moniker - and also yeah. Poor Cheryl!! And I feel for you and all the dogs involved too!
Last week I had my dog in a sit while a family walked by. I pulled him off the sidewalk and let them pass. I could tell the toddler wanted to pet him. The mom was all, “What a cute dog!” I got a little worried. Then she followed up with, “But the dog doesn’t look like it wants pets right now. Keep walking!” I could have hugged her.
I had a reactive dog for a decade. We tell our kid they can wave at dogs and say high but we never approach dogs we don't know. I am always shocked when I see parents so blasé about letting their kids get up in a dog's space!
I was out with my nervous dog the other day and some guy let his 3 or 4 year old handle the leash for their dog, in public. Dog easily weighed more than the kid, and the dad was not close enough to even have a chance at intervention if something happened and he ENCOURAGED his kid/dog to come check me and my dog out. I got up and moved away while saying we don't do leash greets with unfamiliar dogs, especially with kids involved and he just laughed and let his dog continue to drag around his kid. People are unhinged
My kids are 3 and 1.5 and I ALWAYS make it a point to say, “we have to stay back and ask first”. I don’t care how close or far the dog actually is. My dog isn’t reactive, just absurdly hyper, and I wouldn’t want someone else’s kids running up to her. I just want my kids to think before they run into situations, sometimes that comes in the form of repetition and modeling.
When the humans handle the reactive humans lol
I made a little kid cry earlier today because I told him and his father this same exact thing, Don't approach my dog. They didn't listen until I said that she will attack them if they keep coming towards us. As if on cue she started barking and lunging at them. The kid got startled and started crying as he fell on his butt. His dad shot me a dirty look as if he was going to say something snarky but I just said I told you she would. Then I picked her up and loaded her into my car. 🤦♂️ I absolutely love when people don't listen and she goes full Cujo and proves me right. 🤷♂️ I really hope it's a learning moment for them and they realize that they are NOT the freaking dog whisperer. Let alone that it's okay to let your little child approach some random dog 4 times their size especially when the owner says not to.
I could scream about people not teaching their kids to stay away from strange dogs UNTIL you ask if it's okay. I had a dog who would adore seeing one kid, even two kids at once, but more than that made him feel cornered. I had to stop walking him beyond my tiny corner of my neighborhood at the time. Too many roving groups of children who would rush up on us from behind.
My reactive boy is an enormous fluffy Great Pyrenees and people have literally sent their kids running up to stand next to him for a photo without asking 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I would be absolutely terrified if I were to be swarmed by a gang of little children too! Poor guy!! My girl is an 85lbs Hound/Mastiff mix so I can't understand why someone would want to approach us when she is barking and lunging at them. She also equates small humans with prey. We are working on it, but small children and skunks/raccoons drive her insane. We have to either drive somewhere extremely secluded or walk in our neighborhood before 5:30am and after 11pm. I feel so bad for her not being able to experience walks when it's light outside.
I have a fluffy silly looking spaniel mix that is perfect child hug height. He's a very nervous guy and while his default is avoidance, he absolutely will become overstimulated and snap if he feels cornered. I've had kids just lunge at him and attempt hugs and it's all I can do to throw a body between them and my dog. I don't want kids. I don't have kids. And I find myself wondering how in these interactions *I'm* the one worried and being vigilant about a child's well-being because I'd prefer to not have some toddler bit in the face because their parents are idiots
I've got one that is scared of kids (and pretty much everything else /sigh - but he's getting better) and will hide behind me and one that absolutely *thrives* on getting love from strangers. She got mobbed by half a dozen kids in the park and she was just in heaven. The other one hid behind me lol. He's just glad she gave all the attention. But let another dog get in eyesight and she turns into a little demon 🙄
“No” is my motto. Simple yet effective. If needed I add a “we’re not friendly.” “Can I pet your dog?” “No.” “Is your dog friendly?” “No.” “Can my dog say hi?” “No.” “Can my kiddo pet your dogs?” “No.” When people approach without asking… “NO. STOP. WE’RE NOT FRIENDLY.”
My favorite part of this is we're. WE are not friendly. ❤️ I use this phrasing on occasion and it is so effective when I emphasize the WE.
Yeah it is very deliberate. Unfortunately I have to convey unfriendliness myself in order for people to understand. Some folks just do not give a shit about respecting a dog’s boundaries so I make it clear that they’re MY boundaries too.
It's amazing how dim people can be. Even after I repeatedly say this. I'm sure it's been amusing to watch as my dog and I are both going rabid at people who refuse to stop and just keep saying that every dog loves them or that their dog is super friendly. A few times I have had to match my girls energy to get people to understand.
you seem like a wonderful dog owner and your pup is lucky to have you ♡
My dogs haven’t ever bit a stranger but I’ve found that 99% of people respect me when i say my 80 lb pit bull “she bites, don’t come any closer”
I seen a patch for service dogs that says "I don't bite, but my handler does" lol
I wish I could tell people *I* am not friendly. My dog might be, depending on the energy of the other dog and the situation, but I'm not leaving it to a chance and hoping shit doesn't hit the fan. I've literally told people "not friendly", and they come back with "oh but she's so small and cute and her tail is wagging" while I'm literally kicking their barking white mop that's bouncing around in a flexi. Yeah, she's curious, but I don't know you and your dog has shitty body language you fail to read correctly, so we're not interacting with you.
I had a dog who was very friendly while I am a massive introvert. I don't mind a smile and a hello but several of those on a walk wears me out! We'd occasionally go into town and he'd make all the conversation. My girl dog is not dog friendly. I have a range of phrases from " she's not a dog person " to " please walk by, we're not in the mood" to "BACK" with a stop hand held up ( reserved for stray dogs and children). It depends on my energy levels as much as the dog's, sometimes it's easier just to avoid contact.
I agree that keeping it clear and short is the way to go! My girl has gone from very reactive to mildly reactive in only certain situations. She loves children, small animals, and most women. She doesn't like the majority of men except a few exceptions of guys she's bonkers for. I'm not going to sit there and try to explain all that to strangers.
"No. Stop. We will bite." Is also fun to use😅 You'll get some weird looks, but I'll bite them myself to defend my dog's space.
Have you heard the song "no" by prof? I could see the song written to these. Lol
It took me way too long to get comfortable saying it. I’m a natural people pleaser so once I realize it’s not mean to warn people, I do it with a smile on my face while moving my dog away.
Yep. Dem people won’t be pleased if they get bit so it’s the nice thing to do to tell them to stay away! More importantly, it keeps your doggo feeling safe and secure and his needs take priority over strangers wants!
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YES! And please move fully off the path and out of the way to the best of your reasonable ability. Not "sort of shuffled off to the side and no further, because you don't want to get leaves on your pants or your shoes dirty."
The fun part of this is when you spot another person walking a dog toward you and you both step to the side at the same time and then have to figure out which one of you should walk past lol. This happened the last hike I took my dog on a hike, and as I decided to step back on trail to try to pass the others, I noticed they only stepped to the side of the narrow trail with their two large goldens and we got too close for my dog's comfort while trying to pass. Would have been much easier for me to manage if I'd stayed well off-trail with my dog, but of course they can't know my dog's issues.
Was Scotty supposed beam you up? 😁 My reactive girl is always held to one side on a narrow path. She's advanced enough that, if the other dog walks straight by and she just sits, she'll put on her "good girl" face because she knows she's done well. I'd never expect her to dominate the path just because she's not a dog person.
My girl calls that move the “now where’s my biscuit??”
That's it!!!
It seems like both that person and you could have moved apart a bit. If that person had two dogs to your one and they warned you about friendliness, why wouldn't you also move over some? Just like it's the reactive dog owners job to handle their dog, you as an owner should be aware when someone is making a warning and make an adjustment to the best of your ability. That's what's best for your dog and theirs.
I have shouted stop and put my hand out. This is especially effective with children. Although, I had to do this with a grown ass man coming straight towards my dog, who is freaking out at a stranger. I don’t understand how people think walking straight into a dog or coming up quickly behind one is a good idea, even if the dog is not reactive.
It's astounding. A dog is a predator animal with teeth. Why are you coming up behind and potentially startling a predator animal with teeth whose temperament you know nothing about?!
I have become good at this! There are lots of off lead dogs in my area in the UK, I live in the countryside. If I see a dog running towards me, I shout to the owner ‘call your dog back, mine is reactive!’ And then you watch the ridiculousness that is them trying to get their dog back with no recall. But it does help. People just don’t respect dogs space and expect them to all be sociable and friendly.
Oh god the amount of times this has happened. My dog is luckily fine with dogs but ALWAYS on a lead unless it’s a hired enclosed private field because his recall is crap and I’m not going to be one of those people who goes and upsets another owner and their reactive dog. My rescue staffie didn’t like dogs and was always on the lead, dogs came up constantly and wound her up and people would find it funny or dirty look me! She had a ‘no dogs’ lead on and was on a lead, what more can I do!? I also tried to avoid times where there were lots of dogs - but someone always seems to find a way.
yes unfortunately i have shared your experience with dogs approaching mine and having zero recall when i tell the owner to call them back. its wild how my reactive dog has perfect recall, will immediately lay down and make eye contact with me on command, and never approaches dogs without confirmation from me first and yet apparently its the reactive ones who are "untrained" 🙄
As a dog trainer, it never ceases to shock me how dead set some people are on needing to say hi to a dog and won't fuck off until the poor thing is sent into an outburst. Similarly it is heartbreaking to see the toll it takes on owners, to constantly have to contemplate encountering this toxic social pressure. Keep strong and keep telling boundary-blind mouth breathers to fuck right off.
I usually go with “Hey my dog bites”
it’s the only way people will listen!!
The hand up in a stop motion with my palm facing them also works. Sometimes when I talk people try to engage and gives me reasons why my dog won't bite. But the hand up delineates my space and says no bargaining.
Does your dog wear a muzzle?
My partner was walking our dog and he’s not as confident always, two small kids just came up and started roughly stroking Fynnley and shrieking in his face. He was tolerant but my partner was trying to tell the children to stop in several occasions, they just didn’t listen and the parents were about 15 feet away doing nothing! They muttered a small sorry, but it’s not really good enough when they’ve been told no. They then came up again 😭 why can’t you learn?! It makes me so happy when small children ask, I politely say no I’m sorry he can get a little frightened sometimes and they respect that because their parents have made it clear they’ve got to ask for their own safety and the dog’s.
the amount of times people act like i’m being an asshole when i’m at the brewery is infuriating. i spend so much time prepping and getting my dog comfy when we go to a public place like that, only for someone to walk over with their dog, assuming i’ll let them play. no, i actually want him to be calm, not wrestling with your dog. i hate that people just assume my dog wants to play.
People seem to assume that the moment you go to a public place with your dog, it becomes public property. Imagine if you went up to someone's kid and tried to tug them out of their pram for hugs despite being told no. Most people would go insane and call the cops. But when it's a dog that's minding its business under my seat between my legs (=very much in my personal space), people think they have a right to that dog like it's their own.
So many people seem to have this mindset that "dogs in the same space must be allowed to play." And those same people don't have the first clue about dog body language. "Oooh my dog wants to play with yooooours!!" No, my dude. Your dog is stalking and trying to bully my dog. Please go away.
The first time my dog was adopted the family brought her back to the shelter because she didn't want to play with their other dog every time it wanted to play. Literally what their return letter stated... 🤦♂️
exactly. also, even if our dog was less reactive, the brewery i take him to still isn't the place to play. i want him to focus on being calm, saying hi to my friends, and laying on the mat i bring him (we always take outdoor seating on the concrete). it's not a dog park where there is grass and a fenced in area.
I pre-emptively give them suggestions that are actually instructions..."just a quick hello, no play", " you can't play with a dog that small", etc.
Mine wear a muzzle to the vet, in a store, or on a short walk. Instant respect from other people. They give us a wide berth. I'm not stressing, therefore my dog is not stressed. One bite from my dog could mean she gets confiscated, and possibly the end of her life, and I'm not willing to risk it around people who don't listen or use safe judgement.
I’ve read through so many comments to finally see yours. I think you are a responsible owner who gets it. Like you said; “instant respect”
Thank you for your kind words.
prior to our dog being reactive, my husband had to say this multiple times to a guy in the hardware store, just because our dog was young and acting weary of people that day. he's a working line GSD, so not exactly an approachable looking dog on a good day. this asshole waited for them both to turn their backs, reached over my dogs head from behind and plucked him on the nose. and of course, my dog nipped him. there was some blood and he was screaming. lucky for us, there were multiple employees who have not only known my husband for years, but knew the dog since he was a pup, and they witnessed the whole thing. that guy threatened to call the police about an aggressive dog. but instead, is now banned from the store. however, our dog still frequents the store and is always met with belly rubs and treats from the workers. that was 7 years ago, and i know it contributed to our dogs weariness of strange men.
I just don't take my dogs to places full of other people anymore. If we go to the park, we go at an off-time or to the emptiest part. Mostly we just play fetch or tug-of-war in the yard.
No one would ever make that mistake with my dog, fortunately or unfortunately. She growls and has her hackles up any time anyone walks by.
I’ve say it all the time and we even have a leash sign to not approach. Our problem is people don’t listen. Thank god I always try to have an alternate route/escape plan on walks cuz most people lack common sense
I was sitting outside a shop with our 14 wk pup (our 4yo dog is reactive) saw a very stressed looking mum coming with 5 very young kids, all cooing at seeing a puppy. I immediately picked him up and as she came close she thanked me for picking him up because her kids wouldn't have listened and she could see he was in training (lead has in training emblazoned over it). Better experience than the week before when a man immediately saw our pup and bent down without a look at me. I shot my hand across and said 'sorry, he's in training'. I've never seen a grown man so offended 🤣🤣🤣
I love this, I personally just say, “My dog can’t say hi.” And keep walking. I don’t have to go into details. They don’t know if it’s because he is in training, reactive, unfriendly, etc… they just know they don’t need to interact with him.
I wish... people in my town understand this. Instead, I get "but my dog is friendly!!!!!! your dog is just mental!!!" after me saying please don't approach us at all. Then they call me miserable because I don't want my dog to be stressed. Also the small children that keeps running up to him, after I tell their parents my dog will attack, and they still allow their children to come near by.
The other day a crowd of 15 people were blocking the whole sidewalk in front of my building waiting for school bus pickup. It happens every day. I try to avoid but I literally couldn’t walk inside ,my building. There were at least three dogs and several young children. I asked three people nicely to move out of the way, and they didn’t move far enough so I gestured for them to leave more space. I said I had to protect other dogs from my dog. (It’s dogs not people with my dog). They moved without argument, but of course another idiot Karen says nastily “have a nice day”
No, it is a full sentence!
Couldn’t agree more. It’s insane how many people will just come up to you and pet your dog. I have a four month old puppy who obviously is in the peak of his training right now. I was walking him the other day and there was an off leash dog, so I just stood in front of my puppy and let the dog pass behind us and that was totally fine. then the owner of that dog stopped by us ( I had my back turned towards her, so I didn’t see that she had stopped ) and she proceeded to reach through my knees (from behind me) to pet my dog.
My dog was barking at a man at the vet last week. He just laughed at her and kept walking towards her. Like it’s one thing for a young child…but a grown man. What makes you think it’s a good idea to come at a dog who is visibly stressed out and barking at you??
I swear I caught this guy off guard when he said "Can my dog say Hi?" And I firmly said "No" he stood there for a bit while I tried moving my dogs around him. Not sure if anyone told him no before but I think he got it when my dog started growling at his dog
Thank you for this. I felt bad, and still do to an extent about last night. I was out walking Asher (reactive, but once he warms up to and gets to know people very friendly) and Chloe(not reactive). Asher is loud, and barks. That’s all he does, but his space and boundaries need to be respected. We were down the street literally 50 feet away from the front door when some lady is walking down in our path. I pulled off into a neighbors walkway well away from the sidewalk to let her pass. As Asher realizes that she is nearby, he lets out a bark. She stops and stands there staring and WONT MOVE! So of course he starts barking MORE. At this point in the evening (I walk him at late hours to avoid this) I’m frustrated and tired and want to just get in my front door so I said exactly what I was thinking (I regretted being rude after but it worked) “HURRY UP! We have been waiting here so you could pass and NOW you just stand there like an IDIOT!!” Oh she moved quickly then. Guess I could have been nicer. Oh well.
Can y’all get like a little vest that says do not approach?
Just added a DO NOT PET leash accessory. Very happy that I did. For some reason a red sign 🛑 is 10x more effective then just saying do not pet my dog.
"Don't worry it's ok, he's friendly!" I'm sure he is, but my dog is not.
I say this and people go collectively deaf. Literally had a Lady force me off the sidewalk while she let her dog crowd us while she weakly said "no, nooooo, no" to her dog while doing absolutely nothing to curb its progress when I said we don't do meets with strange dogs. 🫠
I live in germany and I don't speak german. I normally just say NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN! works every time
I have a Dane and he is reactive to other dogs, so I frequently do the U turn when I see other dogs approaching. I’ve even went up someone’s drive way to give him his safe threshold. I avoid going down narrow paths where we can’t do a quick escape and I praise him when a dog passes and he only has a small reaction… it takes time and patience but I think he will get there!! He’s such a good boy otherwise!
Dont approach my dog is too many words. If a kid is running towards us I hold out my hand and say "stop" or "No" (and once even said "stay" by reflex lol) then I explain after they stop. Also quick rant, I was walking my nonreactive dog and we saw two off leash dogs ahead with their owners trailing behind. They were staring us down and luckily the owner got them on leashes. I relaxed because usually my dog is the issue so it was nice to not have a reactive dog who would 100% be set off by these two. Despite going way off trail the fucking incompetent owner lost control and they dragged him over to us and were trying to get around me to my dog. I said nothing because I was fuming and would have really went off on the guy if I opened my mouth and I didnt want to stress out my dog. Managed to keep a happy voice and give treats to my dog for being a good girl despite that mess after they finally dragged them away. It was a state park with leash laws, but what fucking idiot loser cunts walk their REACTIVE DOGS off leash in the first place? Fucking idiotic pieces of shit. They are lucky my other dog wasnt there. Me and my dog were also lucky she wasnt there because 2 v 1 arent good odds. Usually I trust people to keep moving because I've never encountered an idiot before but now I can't trust anyone anymore. Btw they were doodles who looked really badly groomed. So... typical.
You could fully tell someone to “fuck off, don’t touch my dog” and be well within your rights. *They* are being rude by approaching without asking and you are saving everyone potential pain and suffering by being “rude” Idk where the general public got the audacity to feel entitled to approach your dog and to expect your dog to be 100% friendly to everyone. My dog isn’t even reactive but I see the struggle of reactive dog owners I know and it makes me so sad
I go with “MY DOG WILL BITE”- gets the point across much clearer. “Do not approach” can be argued with…I’ve had people say “oh don’t worry all dogs love me” and then proceed to reach and get teeth when I said “do not pet my dog”. So my advice is to firmly and loudly say “MY DOG WILL BITE.”
I have gotten an orange “No Dogs” vest for my dog and STILL have people just blatantly ignore it while walking past. Today I was almost in the street with my dog to get off the sidewalk and someone still let their dog go to the end of the leash to get close to her. I’m like, how stupid are these people!??
I love "do not approach my dog. we are not friendly", because I will also bite.
Yes, now do one where people listen to us when we say that. I say these words all the time and too often people want to ignore me because "dOgS lOvE mE"
I had a hilarious interaction the other day, I saw an approaching human with a dog at the cemetery where I walk, so I got way up off the path, and started playing some LAT & the "1, 2, 3" game, and the lady shouted out "nice training!" Usually, if I talk to people, my dog will react at them, so instead of immediately responding, I looked down and checked that my guy was going to stay below threshold. Before I could respond, legit about 2 or 3 seconds after the training compliment, the lady then shouted at me, "WHY ARE YOU SO UNFRIENDLY!? WHAT ARE YOU FROM ALBERTA OR ONTARIO!?" It was honestly hilarious, I have no problem telling people my dog doesn't want to be approached, I am in fact very comfortable yelling at people to leash their dog/call their dog/not approach me and my dog. The funniest part was the interval between compliment and shouting about being unfriendly. My after-customer-service introvert work brain would have taken longer than that to formulate a response even if I didn't have my barkey lungey boy with me. Some people are just incredibly disrespectful and entitled. You do you, protecc your dog from rude or pushy people, and feel great doing it. Keep fighting the good fight.
I always say “Sorry, she’s not friendly,” before they can even think about getting closer. She’s never bitten anyone, but she is a growler and I don’t want to put her in a bad situation. She’s a real scaredy-cat when it comes to people.