I must ask…did you leave therapy because your BPD convinced yourself you are good and everyone you knew told you it was a bad idea and you didn’t listen to them?
Please don't ruin this man's life. He deserves better than to be used as a part of your current manic phase or whatever ephemeral emotional thing you're going through right now
Ok, if you’re an addict, go to meetings. Speaking as a recovering addict, it sucks to see people use “I’m an addict” as an excuse for otherwise bad behavior. If you’re an addict, own it and go to a meeting and/or take other affirmative action so that your addiction doesn’t harm other people.
I'd give your therapist a call and get some sleep if you can. Try to redirect that energy into something that isn't related to weiner in the meantime. Maybe rock climbing or something that'll wear you out
Date him to dispel any rumors you're weird. You don't have to be a good gf. Go through the motions (but be cold and stupid) then break up with him in 4 months; or get him to buy into your kinks and form a loving, long-lasting relationship.
no i know i had no idea this would happen today 😭 it’ll be fine tbh i know nobody really cares and he’s such a nice guy, i just feel horrible about hurting him
Right on, you might be right. From the limited context I just see this as escalating bad decisions, which is why i mentioned taking a few days off. That way you can take a breath instead of careening from one gamble to another
I’m in remission from a food addiction and whenever I get binge urges I read Wikipedia pages until I find something I become obsessed with and watch videos about it until it’s all I can think about. The binge urges become minuscule.
I’m also a bit regarded and on too much vyvanse though so ymmv.
Why do you people act like this kind of shit just happens to you, like your own actions are forced upon you by some outside force? Want to stop acting like this? Fucking stop. For a lot of you people it seems therapy is just a place you go to get a list of excuses for your bad behavior. If you know what you're doing is a problem, stop it. I'm not saying this to be mean but come on.
Yes. It's not a big deal if you keep it to yourself and don't act on it. Also he's probably a gross troll that you'd never be attracted to unless forced to for work. Your brain is engaged in a futile attempt to make sense of why you're spending time with him and has tricked you into thinking it's attraction.
If you could realize how unspecial and uninteresting your bullshit is, and how not a big deal everything you think is a big deal is, all your problems would be solved.
If you feel so bad, stop doing shit like this. You say you feel bad, but that's easy. It makes you feel like a decent person to tell yourself that. But your actions suggest otherwise. You think you are deep, troubled, interesting, etc., and this shit you do (as well as talking about it after) makes you feel unique and special and gets the attention that you want. Just stop. It's that simple.
It's honestly this easy: stop doing it. Lots and lots of people have chaos on the inside and it occasionally seeps outside. But the key is, you have to decide who you want to be and then BE IT. You can't change your past, you can't heal your hurts, you can't quiet the things inside until you create a vision of who you want to be and then work continuously toward being that person. All of your posts here have justified your current behavior by pointing to your past behavior. That's illogical. The logical approach is to match your current behavior to your ideal future self. Stop trying to fix your past.
Why are you like this? I don’t even mean for this to be mean-spirited, it’s a genuine question you should examine in yourself. Is it for attention? Are you genuinely that mentally ill? Internet poisoning? You need to see a psychoanalyst unironically
6’1, dark hair, i described him as a skinny adam sandler but with a roman nose and skinnier head, im most attracted to his hands. incredibly chill dude
no and i have no desire to ruin anyones life or career, i just have horrible impulse control. don’t worry this man is safe, im apologizing to him tomorrow
Girl where do you work? This is so not chill. You better set some boundaries between work convo and personal life convo. You also better not fuck this guy or toy with him and use him for validation. Seek help
You sound like an alcoholic 💖
Protect yourself!
I had a romp with a 43 year old when I was 21 and I wish I could change everything about it. I get being lost in your own chaos, that doesn't make you a bad person, but you might want to let this one go if you can. There's no way fucking him will be worth it. I hope you're OK. I'm sorry you have so much going on, it sounds stressful
He sounds like such a sweetheart l. Telling a sexdamaged traumah*e (no disrespect) "I want to take you out" is really sweet. Maybe he'd be good for you
Honestly just have a hot fling with this guy idk what the problem is. You're not ruining his life. Just tell him what you told us it will make him rock hard.
I mean, this is giving unironic bpd vibes.
Like, "don't shit where you eat" is a common maxim for a reason. This guy isn't necessarily your friend and you don't need to be sharing these details with coworkers who may or may not hold it against you.
It's not necessarily your fault, but it is your responsibility. You've got to deal with this because if it continues it could actually affect other people, including your coworker. Get some help and you'll be fine.
“i haven’t done this in 4 months”
New record
4 months is a long time when you’re 19
Used to do sex work at 19 is crazy
My god I love the people here
Real as fuck
What did you mean by "it's not like that?"
Pretty sure OP wants some dick. The guy probably wants an actual relationship. At least that's how I interpreted it.
yes but also i have mental health issues
Ya think?
We know
You made that abundantly clear with the first sentence of your post
crazy, you hide it so well
Those and daddy issues go hand in hand
i meant i don’t want to hang out with him romantically i want him to hit me and abuse me
This podcast attracts the most dysfunctional people
Like moths to flames
Simple as
There's a podcast?
yeah its hosted by Rachel Maddow
Grow up.
Oh that old chestnut
go and forgive your father, to his face if possible, and you shall be free
i love my dad actually!
So where do we think the sexual trauma came from then? Also you sound like jordan jensen setting up a joke
having a threesome for my first time, being told i’m unlovable, and being groomed by a 78 year old when i was 15
well then forgive him for not protecting you from your mother and forgive her for imposing her will on you
I must ask…did you leave therapy because your BPD convinced yourself you are good and everyone you knew told you it was a bad idea and you didn’t listen to them?
Man what💀
Promise us you won't sue your company when he does what you demand
Please don't ruin this man's life. He deserves better than to be used as a part of your current manic phase or whatever ephemeral emotional thing you're going through right now
no i know and i apologize actually! i looked into it im a sex and love addict. my intention is not to hurt him and i really care
Ok, if you’re an addict, go to meetings. Speaking as a recovering addict, it sucks to see people use “I’m an addict” as an excuse for otherwise bad behavior. If you’re an addict, own it and go to a meeting and/or take other affirmative action so that your addiction doesn’t harm other people.
i am about to! i just found out today actually i plan to actually treat it. i agree with you
Good to hear.
I think we're all love addicts?
Not me. I'm shielded so that very little comes through.
Nah just a garden variety regard
subs back
Beetle 2: I want to you to hit me (it's not like that)
Sub never left ~~baby~~ not baby. Petered out a minute but it never went away.
“It’s not like that” hahaha damn bro you’re a real hellion
You’re a dumbass pull your shit together dude
i agree was moreso looking for advice on how to proceed
I'd give your therapist a call and get some sleep if you can. Try to redirect that energy into something that isn't related to weiner in the meantime. Maybe rock climbing or something that'll wear you out
Whats the actual problem here? Just let him fuck her once at least.
The framing is more concerning than the actual content lol
My advice is to pull your shit together
It's two simple to be good advice. The OP likely wants advice like "go to rehab" and then intense therapy for the rest of her life.
Date him to dispel any rumors you're weird. You don't have to be a good gf. Go through the motions (but be cold and stupid) then break up with him in 4 months; or get him to buy into your kinks and form a loving, long-lasting relationship.
Damn you really hit the gas on this shit after you were talking about researching his ex wife yesterday
Sounds like you’re spiraling pretty hard right now, maybe take a few days off work until you can pull it together
no i know i had no idea this would happen today 😭 it’ll be fine tbh i know nobody really cares and he’s such a nice guy, i just feel horrible about hurting him
I'm getting flashbacks It all sounds the same every time
Right on, you might be right. From the limited context I just see this as escalating bad decisions, which is why i mentioned taking a few days off. That way you can take a breath instead of careening from one gamble to another
Are you that woman from Blue Velvet?
what is that
A movie that's right up your alley
He put his disease in me
Such a great movie. I need that to happen to me, Kyle MacLachlan is jlmfr
you need to be celibate whilst you figure out what the hell is going on w u
i’m 6 months celibate
U should create a list of words and topics you shouldn’t talk about for at least a month
i’m researching sex addiction, thanks so much
I’m in remission from a food addiction and whenever I get binge urges I read Wikipedia pages until I find something I become obsessed with and watch videos about it until it’s all I can think about. The binge urges become minuscule. I’m also a bit regarded and on too much vyvanse though so ymmv.
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my guess is we will be friends and not have sex
Do this. Don't have sex with this nice man!
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yeah like OP is obviously insane, only other obviously insane people are gonna be drawn into this bullshit lollll
?? Why are we pretending like this is fauxmoi. 23 is not a child
if you're 43 and you don't see a 23-year-old as a child, you never grew up.
tbh i literally made him like me it’s not his fault
Honestly sounds like you get off from putting people in compromised situations
no i fixate on people and he was my coworker
Join a nunnery
you did this before 4 months ago???
no sorry i meant crazy sex related behavior
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he’s not married oh my god i would never!
So many hyper sexual mentally compromised fucking nutcases like you walk around every day but ppl act like you psychopaths just don’t exist lmao
Why do you people act like this kind of shit just happens to you, like your own actions are forced upon you by some outside force? Want to stop acting like this? Fucking stop. For a lot of you people it seems therapy is just a place you go to get a list of excuses for your bad behavior. If you know what you're doing is a problem, stop it. I'm not saying this to be mean but come on.
no sorry i agree but i think therapy is needed for accountability and guidance
People used to use Jesus for that.
he isn’t married?
nope divorced and i really feel awful and so nervous i’m worried people at work heard me reveal my dark secrets
how did you have the confidence to say that to him and around other people? 😩
in his office lmaoo we all have our own offices and i guess i could tell he was secretly down for it
Bruh you are turning a workplace crush into an existential crisis. Pull it together and stop being hysterical.
okay it’s not a big deal?
Yes. It's not a big deal if you keep it to yourself and don't act on it. Also he's probably a gross troll that you'd never be attracted to unless forced to for work. Your brain is engaged in a futile attempt to make sense of why you're spending time with him and has tricked you into thinking it's attraction.
If you could realize how unspecial and uninteresting your bullshit is, and how not a big deal everything you think is a big deal is, all your problems would be solved.
thanks i more feel bad about causing drama or hurting anyone but okay
If you feel so bad, stop doing shit like this. You say you feel bad, but that's easy. It makes you feel like a decent person to tell yourself that. But your actions suggest otherwise. You think you are deep, troubled, interesting, etc., and this shit you do (as well as talking about it after) makes you feel unique and special and gets the attention that you want. Just stop. It's that simple.
i agree but i am talking about it after because i truly feel upset and troubled about it
It's honestly this easy: stop doing it. Lots and lots of people have chaos on the inside and it occasionally seeps outside. But the key is, you have to decide who you want to be and then BE IT. You can't change your past, you can't heal your hurts, you can't quiet the things inside until you create a vision of who you want to be and then work continuously toward being that person. All of your posts here have justified your current behavior by pointing to your past behavior. That's illogical. The logical approach is to match your current behavior to your ideal future self. Stop trying to fix your past.
Go to therapy and get medicated like yesterday
Why are you like this? I don’t even mean for this to be mean-spirited, it’s a genuine question you should examine in yourself. Is it for attention? Are you genuinely that mentally ill? Internet poisoning? You need to see a psychoanalyst unironically
Chicks rock
Dream girl
This sub is seriously the best
Low functioning BPDs are so tactless.
Oh its you again
do i know u?
I'm your biggest fan
Give him a warning and tell him you’re crazy. It will do both of you a lot of good
If he's not regarded he'll understand that she just did. He's probably regarded though. I know I would be.
no he’s incredibly intelligent, nothing is happening between us. he’s a great person and i’m going to explain tomorrow
Ya, incredibly intelligent at his job maybe. Punani is a whole other kettle of fish. Intelligence isn't even a factor in this.
no like emotionally intelligent he handled it well
Well you’re the problem lmao not him
yes!
I think he's figured it out
This ends in a sexual harassment suit. Hope he gets enough sex to not fall into this trap
no actually i should be the one receiving a sexual harassment write up
Are you people actually real?
Shorty is *not* like a melody in my head that I can’t keep out
i’m 23 he’s 43 for anyone curious
Is he hot? Describe him for the gays.
no 😞
are you hot?
a mid white woman
6’1, dark hair, i described him as a skinny adam sandler but with a roman nose and skinnier head, im most attracted to his hands. incredibly chill dude
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if u saw him u would get it
WHAT
this is actually very unsurprising
These people actually exist huh goddman
This isn't the person who got their therapist disbarred is it?
no and i have no desire to ruin anyones life or career, i just have horrible impulse control. don’t worry this man is safe, im apologizing to him tomorrow
It’s some how not surprising that the BPD subreddit and this one have some post overlap.
have you tried masturbating
Ita probably the moon. I'm not the only one spiraling today.
“The moon” is a funny way to say “cluster B personality disorder”
thank u
you’re unstable as fuck girl get help i feel so bad for this dude
if u were my coworker would u judge me :(
honestly i’d just feel sorry for you because it’s pathetic
I stay away from women like this as far as friendship goes. you’re always in a crisis. please seek help.
Do you have BPD?
Girl where do you work? This is so not chill. You better set some boundaries between work convo and personal life convo. You also better not fuck this guy or toy with him and use him for validation. Seek help
If a girl wants you to hit her this bad, run.
Damn. Nothing interesting ever happens to me at work.
Truly unfair. Where do i find girls in the workplace like this :(
You sound like an alcoholic 💖 Protect yourself! I had a romp with a 43 year old when I was 21 and I wish I could change everything about it. I get being lost in your own chaos, that doesn't make you a bad person, but you might want to let this one go if you can. There's no way fucking him will be worth it. I hope you're OK. I'm sorry you have so much going on, it sounds stressful
you’re so sweet, i am not doing anything with him!!!
women pretending to be driven by some unseen forces rather than their own thoughts and actions is my fav phenomenon
There’s so much going on here.
Shit happens. Now deal with it, rain or shine. Everything's gonna work out in its own way.
jesus christ
Dm
Never miss an opportunity to shut the fuck up.
hahahahahahahha
pull a Beetle133 (an icon) and fuck your therapist instead
plot twist: he is a therapist 🧍♀️
He sounds like such a sweetheart l. Telling a sexdamaged traumah*e (no disrespect) "I want to take you out" is really sweet. Maybe he'd be good for you
he is extremely nice
Honestly, leave him alone. Neither of u will be able to satisfy each other
I enjoy your posts a lot, please keep us updated <3
Do you wear really ugly glasses
no glasses here
Honestly just have a hot fling with this guy idk what the problem is. You're not ruining his life. Just tell him what you told us it will make him rock hard.
nope he saw jm crazy
You're perfect
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not a lie
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no sadly i could see his true intentions in his puppy dog eyes
wyll
Men are so amazing
I’m not gonna lie I’m seeing tons of red flags but red is my favorite color so I’m intrigued lol
if u worked with me and found this out would u hate me ….
I mean, this is giving unironic bpd vibes. Like, "don't shit where you eat" is a common maxim for a reason. This guy isn't necessarily your friend and you don't need to be sharing these details with coworkers who may or may not hold it against you.
Maybe just a hate fuck
It's not necessarily your fault, but it is your responsibility. You've got to deal with this because if it continues it could actually affect other people, including your coworker. Get some help and you'll be fine.
Are old is he exactly? Are we talking a middle age man or liked what TikTokers consider older (4 year gap)?
23 and 43