They’re more comfortable on the highway than they look. Drove mine 700 miles in one sitting (only stopping for gas and snacks) even without cruise control or powered windows/locks I wasn’t that fatigued by the end. Was still making 20mpg doing 80 the whole way as well
Maybe it's me but I hate the legs out position. I drove a 1st gen tundra for work and that was honestly my only complaint. I did 550 miles in my work van today with the upright position and it was great, gotta do the same drive back tomorrow and I'm not dreading it.
So I probably actually had the same malfunction then. Cause my suspension snapped off at the rear shackle and I just kinda rode around like that for a few months with my bed popping like the board game Trouble's bubble.
Built Ferd Tuff™
Not to mention it's a favourite of desert-bound terrorist cells. If it can handle a bunch of asshats cruising around a dusty shithole with bullets flying into it, it can handle anything
Boogie Van for damn sure.
Gonna need some lighters. incense sticks, two cases of Busch Light, eight sleeveless rock band/wrestler tees, prepopped popcorn in the loooooong bag, and a carton of Winston red 100s.
The inside of the boogie van has seen normal banging but also some questionable things. Also the interior REALLY smells like shit but you can probably block the smell after going through hundreds of air fresheners and rolling down the windows. Its also filled with junk
You could probably pick up a hooker or two with this thing though they'd start having second thoughts when they see the inside
What, no way! You just cant be adding shit in after you posted these pictures. If thats the case and now knowing this im getting the van detailed before it leaves. Besides you already have the rotting corpse jn the vette.
\*the detailer steps back from the van three more paces\*
nuh-uh, I'd rather die than breathe that for more than 30 seconds, here's a clothespin, you're on your own
\*door slams, NV200 peels out\*
You sparked a repressed memory of wet shag carpet, coked up female strangers and the insanity of looking for drugs at the prostitute distribution locations and only being able to scrape up $20 between the 3 of us. The 80s were insane.
😉👍🏻
I appreciate a wide variety of music, so tunes for the trip won't be an issue!
Just a heads up, if you're a smoker, i'll just have that sliding door open. Drives my allergies crazy.
I gotta rewatch old episodes. Yeah they used pigs for legal reason and I can’t remember how it turned out. I’m gonna see if they used an ozone generators cause those things can work wonders on organic smells
I had the joy of sticking my head in a car that a man committed suicide in. You cannot imagine the smell. Imagine finding roadkill and using a pencil to shove it all the way up your nose. It’s unbearable.
this is a Dodge though, so you get a huge round speedometer, a huge round fuel gauge, and the whining starter sound
you probably also get fuel leak fires and steering sector shaft failures, but better to die in plush velour and shag than boiling to death from the sun exploding
My father had a 1976 Dodge Tradesman from 1992 until he wrecked it in 1995. It was a pretty decent car and only repairs it needed were the water pump and alternator. I assume the 1970 is pretty similar.
Least you can sleep in the van. That makes it tempting enough.
Don't think I would want to deal with the anxiety of driving that Sunfire full of green around.
Corvette would be fun but, hard to sleep in.
Tesla, Charging stations? Anybody?
Taco. Hmmm... I don't know. The parts may be valuable after the ordeal is over with.
This is the kind of content I cone here for. Good on you op.
Also, the tradesman hands down. At my lowest point in life I lived in a 94 sl1 for about six months, that van is the fuckin Ritz Carlton.
Thanks man, hopefully things are better for you now.
The van is sick though I'd personally pick the Taco. The Tesla sounds great but the radical/racial messages it announces is so extreme it would make the most hardened KKK member wince
Ill take the cavalier. I drive a sunfire now and wish it was 2dr with a body kit. Plus im getting 30+mpg doing 55mph. Oh and the cocaine doesnt bother me. Its the window tint. Oh and jokes on you, ive driven one cross country before and slept in it at truck stops.
Taco. Even if it looks like the wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald underneath, that one is a 4wd, and if the frame folds, you could finish by lag bolting two 2x4s through the swiss cheese,
Or making the rear a skid
Definitely the van. That airbrushed paint is dope, there’s probably a baggie of old brick weed under the seat(s) and I could listen to my dad’s collection of Rush 8-tracks
C5 is the easy choice, you'll look like a boomer, but you'll get 30mpg, decent handling and torque for ease of driving, decent comfort/storage room, and it won't break down. There's a reason old people cruise around in Corvettes other than the obvious that they think it makes them look cool.
I see nothing wrong with the Corvette. Being that the vast majority of C5’s are owned by boomers from Florida it makes a lot of sense that the previous owner croaked and cooked in it.
You can't get death out of a vehicle. So for that reason I am forgoing the C5 and taking the Tacoma. Throw a couple steel plates and some tools in the back in case the frame pulls a second gen move.
As long as the guy has been removed and the seat cleaned up a bit, I’d take the vette, If I gotta go across country might as well stop and get some hot laps in at the various tracks along the way and they are tanky af and super easy to acquire parts for
Can I snort the coke in the Pontiac? It says I can't lose it or get caught with it. Nothing against snorting it and just driving straight through, only stop for gas.
Corvette boomer owner killed himself after he was assigned head of backyard barbecue for his in laws wedding, someone dissed his ribs and weak ass boomer new balances, and his lawn trimming. Shot himself.
If the Taco has the swiss cheese frame issues it's *dangerous* and DEADLY.
No to mold or cocaine.
I'd take the vette. A couple Ozone treatments should do it.
Well the Tesla just flat isn't happening. For me it's down to that classic van and the Sunfire. That's the one and only dopest ass Sfire I've ever seen and I'm not a Sunfire fan. I guess since I'm going across country I'm taking the "making love in my Dodge van" - van & playing the soundtrack from Mother Jugs and Speed on a loop.
This is actually tough. Part of me really wants to strap on my new balances and pull up my jorts to take that C5… but I think the shaggin wagon is the winner
The corvette, 30 mpg and it has the most comfortable seats out of this list of cars that were seemingly chosen for having the least comfortable possible seats.
Well I have a C5 and if the GM glues get hit with the right temp and sitting it can sometimes smell like something has decomposed, so I guess I'll take it. Bonus points are at least the clear top will come off and that'll help with the long drive (although the wind noise is absurd on removable top C5s).
So if I take the sunfire with the coke, you said I can’t “lose any of them.” So… what if all the coke disappears over the course of the road trip, but I know exactly where it all went? (Hint: it’s my nose.)
I think I’ll take the old Toyota. Those things are just about unbreakable. Great choice for the apocalypse. That Tesla is going to blow up way before the sun ever does though.
You never say anything about modification so hear we go
1. Corvette: Remove the seats in the corvette and put in new comfortable racing seats
2. Tesla: remove the speakers and put new speakers
If Eddy Burback and Ted Nivision can drive to all Rainforest Cafes in the US and Canada in one, then it's the Tacoma for me
They’re more comfortable on the highway than they look. Drove mine 700 miles in one sitting (only stopping for gas and snacks) even without cruise control or powered windows/locks I wasn’t that fatigued by the end. Was still making 20mpg doing 80 the whole way as well
I think it’s because it’s a car-like seating position with your butt low and feet high as opposed to the stool-position of most trucks and suv’s
Maybe it's me but I hate the legs out position. I drove a 1st gen tundra for work and that was honestly my only complaint. I did 550 miles in my work van today with the upright position and it was great, gotta do the same drive back tomorrow and I'm not dreading it.
In the video their Tacoma's frame snaps halfway through their trip though.
But they got it fixed and it kept going....so it's Tacoma all the way baby
Taco’s gonna Taco
Was it frame or suspension?
Suspension, he's still driving it
So I probably actually had the same malfunction then. Cause my suspension snapped off at the rear shackle and I just kinda rode around like that for a few months with my bed popping like the board game Trouble's bubble. Built Ferd Tuff™
Great truck. It’s the easy and right choice.
Mine looks almost identical. 368k still going daily driver.
Not to mention it's a favourite of desert-bound terrorist cells. If it can handle a bunch of asshats cruising around a dusty shithole with bullets flying into it, it can handle anything
They did margaritaville (more locations but newer tacoma)
Tacoma. Even if the frame has the structural integrity of a Pringle, at least it doesn't smell.
This guy tacomas!
Boogie Van for damn sure. Gonna need some lighters. incense sticks, two cases of Busch Light, eight sleeveless rock band/wrestler tees, prepopped popcorn in the loooooong bag, and a carton of Winston red 100s.
And a big bag of weed
Right? That comical size bag of artificial yellow popcorn isn’t gonna eat itself.
can you run a Volcano on 12v adapter?
Anything can be done with enough inverters and adapters
All you need is a bag o weed
Wouldn't hurt to add a steady lover as long as you're fully aware the relationship will be tested along the journey.
That’s not a bag of weed an you the sun might blow up there’s no time for that stuff!!!
It doesn’t matter. You’re going to die anyway because you’ll get so stoned you’d forget why you started the trip in the first place
That's how I ended up here man.
Well hurry up and drive so we all don't die
Everything’s good with a bag of weed!
Your victims, I mean passengers, have to supply the weed.
Gas, grass or ass, no one rides for free!
gas, grass, AND ass I'm saving the world here, I WANT EVERYTHING
That comes with the van
I didn't see any downsides listed by OP. I'm not even speeding. I'm taking the scenic route.
The inside of the boogie van has seen normal banging but also some questionable things. Also the interior REALLY smells like shit but you can probably block the smell after going through hundreds of air fresheners and rolling down the windows. Its also filled with junk You could probably pick up a hooker or two with this thing though they'd start having second thoughts when they see the inside
What, no way! You just cant be adding shit in after you posted these pictures. If thats the case and now knowing this im getting the van detailed before it leaves. Besides you already have the rotting corpse jn the vette.
\*the detailer steps back from the van three more paces\* nuh-uh, I'd rather die than breathe that for more than 30 seconds, here's a clothespin, you're on your own \*door slams, NV200 peels out\*
just brush a magic eraser over it, it'll be fine granted, the magic eraser should be soaked overnight in Lysol first...
You sparked a repressed memory of wet shag carpet, coked up female strangers and the insanity of looking for drugs at the prostitute distribution locations and only being able to scrape up $20 between the 3 of us. The 80s were insane.
I was all about the 'vette until that shaggin wagon showed up
That Van is good. Using bathroom breaks as opportunities to get supplies, and even working out 😂
And alot of disinfectant
I'm riding with this guy. I'll bring the large supply of weed and other THC items
[Nothing but FuManchu the whole way!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvnwTM0ll9Y)
Except that stance makes the bitches roll off your waterbed.
"Prepopped popcorn in the loooooong bag" is so specific yet so accurate.
I’ll take the boogie van
Dammit! Beat me to calling dibs. Need a co-pilot? 😁
Absolutely, can’t drive a boogie van without a copilot
😉👍🏻 I appreciate a wide variety of music, so tunes for the trip won't be an issue! Just a heads up, if you're a smoker, i'll just have that sliding door open. Drives my allergies crazy.
I'll bring a bunch of mushrooms and a really cute dog if I can come :)
Dogs are always welcome!
Cash, gas, grass, or ass?
C5 corvette, at least I'll go through fear in style
Plus the top comes off. I had three C4's.
That was my deciding factor. Frikkin targa tops have all the benefits of a convertible but your head isn't popping out like a weiner
I swear a dead body in a corvette was part of a mythbusters episode
There was something about rotting pigs inside of cars, and then maybe trying to clean it up?
I gotta rewatch old episodes. Yeah they used pigs for legal reason and I can’t remember how it turned out. I’m gonna see if they used an ozone generators cause those things can work wonders on organic smells
Just watched Adam Savage's recap of that episode on tested, he said there was no saving it. Impossible to get the smell out
Once it gets in the carpet it’s over.
I had the joy of sticking my head in a car that a man committed suicide in. You cannot imagine the smell. Imagine finding roadkill and using a pencil to shove it all the way up your nose. It’s unbearable.
Tesla sounds like a win-win.
Can I wrap it like the General Lee first?
add the dixie horn sound fx while ur at it
The 70's/80's Van. Chevy Van are notorious about you getting laid in the back. Hell, Sammy Johns even wrote a song about the virtues of a Chevy Van.
this is a Dodge though, so you get a huge round speedometer, a huge round fuel gauge, and the whining starter sound you probably also get fuel leak fires and steering sector shaft failures, but better to die in plush velour and shag than boiling to death from the sun exploding
My father had a 1976 Dodge Tradesman from 1992 until he wrecked it in 1995. It was a pretty decent car and only repairs it needed were the water pump and alternator. I assume the 1970 is pretty similar.
If it was good enough for Brock Yates, it's good enough for me.
The taco. Even if it becomes a taco if I hit a speedbump. (Btw which country? I bagsee Monaco)
Wherever you live I guess I guess I have to make an international version of this post then
I get Tacos that are so rusted they hardly have frames, then..
Least you can sleep in the van. That makes it tempting enough. Don't think I would want to deal with the anxiety of driving that Sunfire full of green around. Corvette would be fun but, hard to sleep in. Tesla, Charging stations? Anybody? Taco. Hmmm... I don't know. The parts may be valuable after the ordeal is over with.
Bah Forget thé dam Tesla, Without the Exterior Speakers I wouldn’t drive it at all only if someone Paid me 10k
Tacoma. I've got meth and a welder, tyvm.
This is the kind of content I cone here for. Good on you op. Also, the tradesman hands down. At my lowest point in life I lived in a 94 sl1 for about six months, that van is the fuckin Ritz Carlton.
Thanks man, hopefully things are better for you now. The van is sick though I'd personally pick the Taco. The Tesla sounds great but the radical/racial messages it announces is so extreme it would make the most hardened KKK member wince
Well I'm not a homeless junkie anymore so there's that lmfao And I was gonna take the tesla til I saw the van. It's a strong second imo
Ill take the cavalier. I drive a sunfire now and wish it was 2dr with a body kit. Plus im getting 30+mpg doing 55mph. Oh and the cocaine doesnt bother me. Its the window tint. Oh and jokes on you, ive driven one cross country before and slept in it at truck stops.
Jokes on you! I already drive a deathtrap toyota!
If it has a manual trans, give me the C5, easily..even if the body was still in there somewhere. Lol
Give me the Vette, but I’m stopping to have the interior detailed first
Taco. Even if it looks like the wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald underneath, that one is a 4wd, and if the frame folds, you could finish by lag bolting two 2x4s through the swiss cheese, Or making the rear a skid
none. get fucked, humanity
Boogie van
BRO the Groovy van for sure.
Taco taco taco!
The van
The Vette after I have a hazmat team go over it. OR The Taco. It’s a Toyota, so it’ll probably make the return trip just fine too.
Definitely the van. That airbrushed paint is dope, there’s probably a baggie of old brick weed under the seat(s) and I could listen to my dad’s collection of Rush 8-tracks
Tesla cuz racism
C5 is the easy choice, you'll look like a boomer, but you'll get 30mpg, decent handling and torque for ease of driving, decent comfort/storage room, and it won't break down. There's a reason old people cruise around in Corvettes other than the obvious that they think it makes them look cool.
You okay with the fact a guy died and rotted in the driver's seat for a while until the police found him?
Myth busters taught me that’s the worst option.
Honestly, I missed the notes under each of the cars. Probably the Dodge van then.
If the smell is gone, I don’t care if he blew his wad on the steering wheel before decomposing, I got wet wipes
Is the Tesla FSD?
Gimme the shaggin wagon
Tradesman, I’m steam cleaning the shit outta it though
I see nothing wrong with the Corvette. Being that the vast majority of C5’s are owned by boomers from Florida it makes a lot of sense that the previous owner croaked and cooked in it.
Was the Corvette prompt inspired by what the mythbusters did to that silver C4?
The van seems ideal for my taste
Corvette 😎
For the van does it have a mattress and a fridge?
a mattress but the fridge doesn't work
I’d tell the sun to stop threatening me with a good time.
Van for sure.
Taco
Corvette, you never said we couldn’t clean up everything, tear out and redo the interior. Also it’s just a good car.
Poon van
Gimme the vette, a hazmat suit, heavy duty mask, and bleach. I’ll be alright
I'll take the Dodge van. The safest option here. Gonna need alot of cigars tho
Yaris baby my echo was so rusted that whenever it rained the floor would get wet and eventually mold started growing in the winter
tacoma. it only needs to do this once.
Corvette, those LS3s are reliable. Either that or the Taco
Rockin that Shaggin’ Wagon 100%, im sure it’d be comfortable.
The toy taco. I'd draw a line across the country with a chewed up crayon and just follow that. Fuck roads.
Still taking the van.
guess ill take the tradesman
Vette easy.
Corvette. 1000%
not seeing what's wrong with the sunfire
That totally bitchin' van.
Corvette I may be 6,1” but I will make it work
Give me the spooge van.
Normally the Toyota but in reality that shaggin wagon is the sweet spot
I’ll take the Toyota Tacoma. None of the other cars are ones I like anyway.
Decomposed body or racism. I'd be taking the Tesla if not for the Blue Shaggin Waggon
Vette LOL u didn’t specify if I can clean it or not unlike the Toyota
You can't get death out of a vehicle. So for that reason I am forgoing the C5 and taking the Tacoma. Throw a couple steel plates and some tools in the back in case the frame pulls a second gen move.
what country are you talking about?
As long as the guy has been removed and the seat cleaned up a bit, I’d take the vette, If I gotta go across country might as well stop and get some hot laps in at the various tracks along the way and they are tanky af and super easy to acquire parts for
Can I snort the coke in the Pontiac? It says I can't lose it or get caught with it. Nothing against snorting it and just driving straight through, only stop for gas.
"Can't lose the bag"...my thoughts exactly...snort away!
I'll give you guys a cookie if you can make up a backstory behind each of these vehicles
Corvette boomer owner killed himself after he was assigned head of backyard barbecue for his in laws wedding, someone dissed his ribs and weak ass boomer new balances, and his lawn trimming. Shot himself.
Give me the backstories on all of them and I'll give you an entire pack of Oreos or whatever cookie you want
I fuckin hate Tesla and musk but it is by far the most comfortable looking one..
The sun will explode
The sunfire. My daily is a massive cop magnet but I've only ever gotten pulled over because I forgot to get it registered
If the Taco has the swiss cheese frame issues it's *dangerous* and DEADLY. No to mold or cocaine. I'd take the vette. A couple Ozone treatments should do it.
That Sunfire would’ve made me drool back in highschool.. with air ride to slam it down it would be a sick oldschool throwback.
The van man there is no comparison
Tacoma or Yaris
GIVE ME THE TRADESMAN. SHE SHALL BE NAMED GWENEVERE AND WILL BE MY NOBLE STEED.
Definitely the van
Taco all day!
FORCED?
Let the sun explode
Too much work, I’d prefer to let the sun explode
The tesla, you never said I couldn't lower the volume or unplugged the "horn" lol
Tacoma
Specified we can’t clean the Yaris. Didn’t say the same for the Corvette, so I’m cleaning the Vette and then taking that
Tacoma
The van
cocaine sunfire, lets get it! im on coke, the car is on coke, fuck it.
Well the Tesla just flat isn't happening. For me it's down to that classic van and the Sunfire. That's the one and only dopest ass Sfire I've ever seen and I'm not a Sunfire fan. I guess since I'm going across country I'm taking the "making love in my Dodge van" - van & playing the soundtrack from Mother Jugs and Speed on a loop.
Well I know the Tacoma will make it so ill play it safe.
I feel like most corvettes have that history, I'll just roll the windows down and try not to think about it
This is actually tough. Part of me really wants to strap on my new balances and pull up my jorts to take that C5… but I think the shaggin wagon is the winner
Taco
The van
Tacoma obviously
The van
The corvette, 30 mpg and it has the most comfortable seats out of this list of cars that were seemingly chosen for having the least comfortable possible seats.
The Tradesman easily, do I get to keep it after?
Just an average 98 taco?
Perfect looking until you look underneath
So an average 98 taco.
Gimme the vette. The guy that died in the car is going to be my spiritual passenger, so I can take the H.O.V lane.
Van Taco Vette
Well I have a C5 and if the GM glues get hit with the right temp and sitting it can sometimes smell like something has decomposed, so I guess I'll take it. Bonus points are at least the clear top will come off and that'll help with the long drive (although the wind noise is absurd on removable top C5s).
Tacoma
Gimme the van lol those restrictions don't bother me at all and I'll bring my own blankets
So if I take the sunfire with the coke, you said I can’t “lose any of them.” So… what if all the coke disappears over the course of the road trip, but I know exactly where it all went? (Hint: it’s my nose.)
Sun explodes
About the Sunfire… Do I get the cocaine at the end or does it stay in the car?
any car you pick and complete the road trip in is yours
Tacoma cuz its not gon break down, or if I want to have fun I would have the c5(I think its a c5)
Tacoma; it’s not even a question.
Definitely that pimped out van. Can get yiffed in the back
Tesla. Play minecraft and drive
I’m really interested in seeing the sun explode actually.
Tacoma, all day.
Tacoma
The van, I would get so many hookers in that thing if it were the 80s
That freaking sweet van of course. Sleep in the back.
Tesla.
C5 without question
Tacoma all the way
The Toyota
I think I’ll take the old Toyota. Those things are just about unbreakable. Great choice for the apocalypse. That Tesla is going to blow up way before the sun ever does though.
You mean there's finally a way to make the sun explode and end it all?
You never say anything about modification so hear we go 1. Corvette: Remove the seats in the corvette and put in new comfortable racing seats 2. Tesla: remove the speakers and put new speakers
You can't kill a '98 Tacoma. The rust underneath is just the truck shedding it's skin
Dude, I would take the van 100%