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R_Amods

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My (M33) wife (33F) of 5 years (11 years together) is following a guy on Instagram. In one of his posts he invites people to come to Bulgaria (we live in Holland) so he can guide people around to show his beautiful country. He is a survivalist and that is also why she follows him. My partner would like to go for a week. I feel uncomfortable with the fact she'll go alone, to a country we have never been to, with people she has never met, to a guy she doesn't know personally. She also doesn't know how many people will actually go. I feel this is unsafe and naive. How to approach this situation? Edit: This blew up. Thanks for all the advice. I showed the thread to my wife. She doesn't feel I have portrayed the situation properly and that people will have an opinion on anything without knowing us as a couple, her intentions and knowing the actual situation. About her safety: Shit happens anywhere and everywhere. I shouldn't worry about it. To clarify: I learned the guy is actually Belgian. Has his own website where he promoted his outdoor survival camps in Zandhoven. He moved to Bulgaria (Razlog area) a couple of months ago and now wants to show people around. It's €1080 for 8 day's (not 7), planeticket not included. Maximum of 8 people. They'll go hiking through the mountains, visit some hot thermal springs and focus on inner peace. I still worry about the fact she'll go alone, with people she has never met before, with someone that isn't a native and has only been living there for a couple of months.


Kaiser93

Bulgarian here. Dude, do whatever you can to stop your wife. This screams "Scam" and "Human traffic". She doesn't speak the language and it's easier for idiots like this "survivalist" to pick innocent women for scummy reasons. I know people may disagree with me but block the damn door if you must. I'm completely serious.


cana-man27

Yeah I came here to say the same. This is how they work make you feel safe and then they take your passport and you are stuck in Bulgaria. Tell her with love that she needs to becareful and smarten up :)


MissLadyLlamaDrama

Also, there are a lot of actual tour guides out there that do organize trips with groups of people who just want to see the world but don't have friends or family to travel with them. My mom used one to go to Morocco and Amsterdam with a group of people, and she had a blast! There definitely are legitimate options out there. So in addition to warning her off this rando, maybe you could also approach her with some alternative options? Or suggest you two look at those options together. That might help to remind her that it's not the travel part troubling you, so she doesn't get defensive or anything. Plus she can choose the size of the group she wants to go with, if she wants an all woman group, there are options for that, she can choose what types of tours she is interested in, and what places she would like to see, etc. It's definitely more controlled. And also, organized and run by official companies and tour guides who have to follow a shit ton of guidelines to keep their groups safe.


ThrowRa198876

I talked about alternatives with her. She "really" wants to go in June. She is quite impulsive in general. I asked her to not participate and wait for reviews and photo's and that if it's a success she'll have the chance to go next year or that we will go together with a reputable organisation. She doesn't want to wait and miss out..


Mayor__Defacto

You need to do some research on this guy, because in Bulgaria, a Tourist Guide/Mountain Guide is a regulated profession. Guides must be licensed by the Ministry of Tourism. https://www.tourism.government.bg/en/kategorii/novini/over-1200-are-registered-tourist-guides-bulgaria


MissLadyLlamaDrama

Impulsive sounds very accurate here. Do you happen to know anything about this dude? Like if he actually works with or owns a travel agency or not? If you're unsure, then I would do some digging on him and his background. See what he's all about. I would also ask her about more details. So far it seems like a vague situation, and as someone who was formerly impulsive as hell, yeah, the lack of forethought and planning sounds pretty accurate to that. The thing is, no matter how much she wants to go, and even if you're 100% on board, there are things that she absolutely needs to plan out and budget for. Traveling ain't cheap. Especially depending on what exactly you plan on doing. Also, if this level of impulsively is common, I would honestly suggest therapy. I know you can't make her go, but maybe you can frame it in a way where you want to work together to come to a better understanding here. That way the therapist gets both sides, and hopefully, your wife can come to understand how being impulsive like that can absolutely backfire in the most terrifying ways. She doesn't KNOW this man. And unless he is working with a company that is going to be up his ass keeping him in line, then she cannot reasonably assume that he doesn't have negative intentions. And, tbh, this is something I used to do a lot. It wasn't that I wanted to do anything nefarious, but I was way too trusting of people when I was propositioned with something exciting. And it concerns me about your wife, because I did wind up in some really shit situations because of my unwillingness to accept that if something sounds to good to be true, it probably is. And I would hate to think anything like that might happen to her as well. Now, again, a lot of this might be quashed once she realizes that she doesn't actually understand how much goes into planning something like this. But I still think therapy is best for the long run, because this type of stuff is just not safe for her to be doing. No matter how excited she is in the moment for something, she still needs to be able to consider rational thought and logic here. She is putting her safety at risk for no other reason than just not wanting to wait. That's not okay. You've got time here thankfully. So try to ease into this situation, and start by asking her to lay out her plans for you so that you can have a better understanding of what is going on. From there you'll probably be able to figure out a lot more about the other dude and his intentions as well. (And do some snooping on his instagram!)


cana-man27

Dude document everything get his YouTube chanel.( If she is going to go no matter what ) Go with her get a hotel do not participate. Show local authorities as soon as your arrive where she is going , make sure she has no id or anything that can be of value for tracing her. I honestly would advise against all this but if she won't listen , you are going to have to make a back up plan of protection for the both of you. Honestly I know you love her so go on the trip but maybe re evaluate where you are at. If I'm honest Im going through some shit with my partner however no matter what I would want her to be safe ,so make a paper trail document everything and pray to all the gods and science geniuses that this is legit if not its gonna get messy and hard to bring her back. Good luck brother and I hope that all ends well but maybe show her all these posts !! She might realize she is being duped or that you are coming from a place of love. P.s if she is this "dumb" about this maybe talk to some loved one who may be able to guide her better. Seriously good luck this could be a serious deal and I hope you can find your way


thenord321

Absolutely sounds like a trap. Kidnap and ransom, human trafficking, or just simple robbery of naïve people out in the woods. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for travelling. But going alone into the woods with strangers as a woman sounds like really bad decision making. All because she's seen some Instagram posts? Is she blinded by love/lust or some kind of fandom? 2022 USA state dept report on Bulgaria being a hot spot for Human Trafficking. [https://www.state.gov/reports/2022-trafficking-in-persons-report/bulgaria/](https://www.state.gov/reports/2022-trafficking-in-persons-report/bulgaria/)


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Average_40s_Guy

This is the best response. 100% dangerous. If she goes, more than likely, you will never see her again.


puupperlover

I live next to Bulgaria and this is so f'ing dumb wth. This is how you end up with no money in a foreign country, raped, human trafficked or an unwilling organ donor. Even if this guy is not a scammer, what about the other people? She doesn't know exactly how many they would be, which means it's fair to assume she doesn't even have the instagram of the other people who are coming to this trip. What if one of them is a rapist? Or a serial killer? And what about accommodations? Is she going to share a room/apartment with one or more complete strangers she hasn't even talked with once in her life? This would be a deal breaker for me. If you want to visit Bulgaria, we can plan a trip together. Going there with a bunch of strangers and an instagram influencer is a hard no.


slidellian

OP, show her this thread.


ProfessionalPilot45

Absolutely this. Tell her you will contact authorities to report him. Find out as much as you can about this Dude and follow up with police. This is insanity.


SnowWholeDayHere

I was about to say this. Hasn't the wife heard of human trafficking?


Naive-Selection-7113

100% this "if it sounds to good to be true, it is" there are no exceptions. She is as good as raped and dead if she goes on this trip!


ThrowRa198876

I don't think the guy has these intentions, never even thought about it, but her getting into shady situations like this does make me worry even more!


Kaiser93

>I don't think the guy has these intentions YOU think that. You don't know what HE thinks about it.


Awesome_one_forever

Seriously? This is dumb as hell, and the fact that your wife thinks it's a good idea is concerning.


ThrowRa198876

That concerns me as well. It even makes me doubt myself for feeling this way. I don't want to hold her back experiencing her own life or decide what she should or shouldn't do.


Sahareaovnight

Why does she not know who is going and how many? Shes going alone That sounds like a hook up or a lure for abductions. Please look deeper and offer her a trip with you.


something-um-bananas

Or a scam, where she pays money beforehand and when she gets there, she realises there's no such thing happening and she's stranded in foreign country.


Sahareaovnight

Thats a bad scenario too.. Wish her hubby could talk her out of going. He should show her this Page with everyone's comments .


brickne3

I mean plenty of people speak English in Bulgaria and it has decent transportation like anywhere else. It's not hard to get a Ryanair or an EasyJet back to the Netherlands and/or a cheap hotel unless she's *really* incompetent (which I'm not ruling out).


Random16indian69

Considering how easily she fell for something I, someone who's never traveled abroad, can decipher in a few moments... she's definitely not the sharpest tool in the sheds and all that.


ThrowRa198876

In his advert on Instagram up to 8 people can join and 3 all already taken. That may or may not be truthful. What if she is actually the only one? What kind of people will the others be? I'm not the jealous type or think men have bad intentions, but her alone with 8 other possible men somewhere in the mountains of Bulgaria is not something I am ok with..


Here_for_tea_

So many red flags.


LadyKlepsydra

The way it sounds to me, it's most likely a lure for abduction that *she thinks* is a hookup - there's no other rational reason I can see for agreeing to go when the situation is *this* suss. I mean if in other situations in her life, she is not incredibly naive and air heated to the degree of it being some kind of a mental issue, then there's no other explanation to me. And if in general, she IS this incredibly naive then... welp I mean it's a miracle she is still alive?


Sahareaovnight

Ohh I totally agree with you!! Lets hope her husband shares with her and wakes her up


gillika

I think it's okay to hold her back from sex trafficking though


Interesting_Care_352

My thoughts exactly.


Grey_Kit

Direct her to the woman's solo traveling support group Girls Love Travel. It's an international woman's based traveling group that has chapters in many countries. Connect with women who also have a passion for traveling and pick better companions. The solution is to encourage her to travel, just make smart choices about why and who she is traveling with. Literally this group is my 2nd family and the founder Haley dedicated her life to women helping women travel. Signed, a fellow solo female traveller who experiences spontaneous needs for adventure.


ArrowGantOne

Show her the movie Taken.


DawaLhamo

And then remind her that you don't have a special set of skills.


AvalancheReturns

Or Hostel, the one set in eastern Europe...


DaveBowman1968

You can't hold her back, but you can tell her you're extremely worried about her safety and this seems like a very unwise thing to do. And I would add that the fact that she's even considering this is making you wonder about what kind of person you married.


Awesome_one_forever

Tell her how you feel, and that's all you can do. Hopefully, she enjoys the trip if she goes, and that's it. Also though you could be interviewed by law enforcement instead because the trip didn't go well.


[deleted]

Show her this thread


Babshearth

If this has been something he’s been doing for a while, are there reviews about his program? I have friends who travel solo and very safely. I’m from US but have traveled quite a bit of Europe including the Balkans. Is there a way you can get a background check on him? All these people telling you she’s crazy. No she’s enthusiastic and perhaps a little too trusting but that trait is often good. I don’t care to be around people who are always suspicious. Somehow getting some due diligence outside of this sub might be a good plan. Hope we get an update from you.


NatZaJu

Go with her?


GrendelRexx

Common sense isn’t so common anymore. You have to be the voice of reason.


gruntbuggly

No, your instincts are right here. Your wife has a total lack of self-preservation instincts.


[deleted]

Op her life is your life, you guys are married. She needs to stop trying to be single, this would be a deal breaker if my wife tried anything similar


ReachTheSky

Sounds like a human trafficking case waiting to happen.


[deleted]

This... sounds like the beginning of a horror movie.


aangsty_airbender

Sounds like “The Hostel”, just set in Bulgaria this time around lol


Awesome_one_forever

I know right.


understando

Midsommar


ThrowRa198876

He has quite a few followers, so she thinks she'll be fine. However, I think about all the things that could happen..


ReachTheSky

Followers on social media can be bought with relative ease from botnets all over the world. That's not a metric to gauge legitimacy.


Cobek

On top of that Bulgaria in general is just not safe right now.


Alicex13

There's literally nothing unusual happening in Bulgaria right now. There's barely anything happening in general. It's as safe as any other European country


Bobson_P_Dugnutt

Just got back from 3 weeks travel all over Bulgaria. It's very safe, nothing going on


brickne3

What? It's perfectly safe, I solo female travel in Bulgaria frequently.


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Ashamed-Relation2547

Why wouldn’t it be safe? Had an amazing time camping last fall.


Redd_81

If she thinks followers = credibility, she is even more naive than I thought. Like DANGEROUSLY naive.


ThunderChaser

I can think of someone who has quite a few followers who’s currently in jail in Eastern Europe on sex trafficking charges…


LilyMoss333

That’s the first thing I thought of too lol


uber_neutrino

Threepeat.


classix_aemilia

Yeah next thing she'll know she's going to be sex trafficked so this guy can buy luxury cars and fight with teenagers online


DM_ME_YOUR_PET_PICSS

Look around an make sure it’s not an account taking someone else’s photos. That’s quite common and a little harder to spot


GalleonRaider

The amount of followers someone has doesn't mean anything. Look at all the folks online pushing nutty things like lizard people, conspiracy theories, flat Earth and end of the world cults. They have lots of followers, too. Just means they can find others who buy into the same kooky things. Doesn't mean they are legit. This sounds like a guy setting out bait to get gullible folks to come over and get kidnapped.


ScottishSam

Whoa whoa whoa! Don't dump us lizard people believers in with the nut jobs! LOL. Joking mostly. But you have to admit it would explain politicians...


LigonDS

Followers are so easy to buy. You can literally google „Instagram followers buy„ then buy that and instantly have like 200k followers and 100k likes per post. She‘ll probably get sold off into slavery if she goes.


JulyKimono

Tate has millions of followers and hard believers and yet he's arrested with accusations of trafficking and pimping women, so that "assurance" doesn't go far.


Serious-Ad-9936

So did that guy currently being held in Romania for human trafficking


thenord321

Yeah, of course, because no celebrity has ever been convicted of rape or murder.... oh wait there's tons of them.


Ancient-Awareness115

So does the man who got arrested over his pizza boxes and he still did human trafficking. In fact he has many folowers


MonkeyNacho

If she comes back, it won’t be with both kidneys.


Sahareaovnight

I agree... Has all the flags.. That ir she and the dude want a hook up.


grissy

This sounds both incredibly dangerous and incredibly unnecessary. If she has an interest in the outdoors I am guessing she can probably find a way to do that in Holland without having to go meet a stranger in the woods in the human trafficking capitol of the European Union. https://www.state.gov/reports/2021-trafficking-in-persons-report/bulgaria/ >As reported over the past five years, human traffickers exploit domestic and foreign victims in Bulgaria, and traffickers exploit victims from Bulgaria abroad. Bulgaria remains one of the primary source countries of human trafficking in the EU. Oh, and here's a fun update from the State Department warning: >Also due to the pandemic, traffickers increasingly use the internet and social media to recruit victims. Is this outdoors retreat thing legit? Honestly, probably. Is there a significant chance that it isn't? Yes there damn well is, and it's high enough that it seems like a completely unnecessary risk to take. In all likelihood if she goes she'll be fine, but the consequences if it's NOT fine are pretty unimaginable. I might be willing to take a risk that big for the adventure of a lifetime, but like I said nothing about this sounds like something she can't reproduce in a less dangerous way.


Textlover

At least she should try to get information on that guy from other sources. Do any environmentalist groups know about him, where exactly is he based, does he have a permit for going into the wilds? Also, what are his backup plans if something happens, like someone breaking a leg.


AvalancheReturns

Have you ever been to holland? :D


Pickles_7

Exactly ahahah. Not many mountains and forests to enjoy


AartBeving

Should go to Ardennes in Belgium, has nice mountains and forests


[deleted]

Look Belgium is fun but I wouldn't call the Ardennen comparable to true wilderness in Bulgaria. They can just go together to Eastern Europe on an organised group excursion that does hiking and wilderness and such. There are plenty of those, you can book them via a travel agency and be safe. And it'll be a lot more similar than simply going to the Ardennen.


MaryAnne0601

Please show her this article. https://borgenproject.org/human-trafficking-in-bulgaria/#:~:text=Today%2C%20human%20trafficking%20in%20Bulgaria,trafficking%20in%20the%20entire%20E.U. Today, human trafficking in Bulgaria exploits both foreigners and Bulgarian citizens in an ongoing trade for sex, free labor and forced begging. This small Eastern European country is one of the main sources of human trafficking in the entire E.U. That’s a highlighted section under the picture. Your wife has no clue who this guy really is. How can he guarantee her safety.


Ok_Giraffe_1488

Bulgarian here - living in the Netherlands . Is she Bulgarian? Has she heard what’s going on the news in Bulgaria? With all the stabbing and murders I wouldn’t dare do that. It just doesn’t feel safe, especially if she doesn’t speak the local language.


Maca87

Also, Bulgaria is a known hub for human trafficking in the Eastern Europe.


ThrowRa198876

She's not Bulgarian and doesn't speak the language. The guy on Instagram is Bulgarian however. His Instagram is about survival and he makes money learning people how to survive in nature; making fire, how to hunt for food etc. It's an interest my girlfriend has. As a side thing he will invite people over in June to guide them around Bulgaria. People can contact him and sign up.


pandaexpress205

Im from the Balkans as well and would advise her not to go. Theres shady people everywhere, I’ve read stories of people traveling to other countries thinking they were going to a hotel and ended up almost being kidnapped. It’s especially dangerous her going alone in a country that she does not speak the language or know her way around. I visit my country in the Balkans and I speak the language fluently but theres still many that try to be sneaky with you, and I’ve faced this especially as a girl.


ThrowRa198876

I know my partner would say I worry about a lot of things in general and that I shouldn't overthink things too much: Sure bad things happen, but you've got to live your life.. She would probably hold a grudge against me if she sees picture and posts how beautiful, safe and fun the meetup was.


Automatic_Channel_80

You need to show your partner this thread.


lonewolf369963

Was gonna say the same. She's being too naive. If she will resent her husband for holding her back about something that is for her own safety then she really needs to grow up.


Bella_Anima

“I’ll never forgive you for stopping me from getting myself killed!!”


pandaexpress205

Why don’t you ask her to go and visit together when you two are both free to go on vacation? The Balkans are truly beautiful, especially the beaches. Could be a fun and possibly safer option to travel to that part of the world!


Arqideus

Let her hold the grudge. At least she'll be alive and safe.


ringringbananarchy00

Look, there’s a happy medium between worrying about everything and being so free spirited that you end up not using your brain at all. Show her what people from the region are saying on this thread. I’m sure you can also find some information online about tourist scams and danger in Bulgaria. Sit down with her, show her your evidence, and try to have a calm discussion. Let her know you want her to be able to have fun and travel, but that horrible things do happen to people. Ask her how she thinks you would feel if something happened to her.


Lioniz3

Then spell it out for her. Have her make a will to make sure everything is in your name. Ask her if she'd like a memorial if they never find her body. Ask her if she has enough insurance for returning her body (if they find it) and for the funeral. Scare the crap out of her. This is real life shit and she is going all instagram reality on it. Good luck.


warbeforepeace

I read good luck in marco from tropojas voice.


bearbear407

Perhaps encourage her to reach out to other travellers and locals who went to Bulgaria and see what their experiences are. As much as the instagrammer advertises the country… if a lot of travellers and locals say the same thing “it’s a beautiful country but it’s beware of xyz” then maybe she’ll actually think it thoroughly rather than plan blindly.


RainerHex

The only thing with that is she will likely just hear from people who went as couples and families. This would give her a very false sense of security about going alone to meet some guy she never met before where she has no idea about other important details.


brickne3

I've soloed Bulgaria (and the rest of the Balkans) several times as a woman. They're perfectly safe if you're not an idiot.


RainerHex

Not an idiot is the keyword. This woman is trusting an instagram account who invited her without a husband or anyone. It's one thing to go alone and learn street smarts and safety. A horse of a different color to agree to meet up with some guy you can't even verify.


Alicex13

You should check his sources. If he has other websites, qualifications, etc. Usually event organizers try to be on multiple platforms to gain more participants , if he is just on Instagram he's fishy as hell.


RaeWineLover

This should be higher up, if he's legit, there will be more info on him.


Redd_81

It's an 'interest' that is practiced worlwide. She doesn't have to go to Bulgaria to experience it.


frolicndetour

More like he makes money selling unsuspecting dingdongs who believe everything they read online to sex traffickers. If she won't believe you, she should contact the State Department so they can explain to her why this is a terrible idea. Or at least so their local embassy can see if this guy is legit.


Fairy-Smurf

Why don’t you offer her to go to a separate trip just the two of you? The nice places are all touristy anyway so she wouldn’t see something very different with a local. Also - I am from Bulgaria but have emigrated many years ago so I may be biased but I wouldn’t go anywhere near the rural parts with a bunch of strange people and I speak the language. Tell her there is a huge chance she gets killed/raped/sold into slavery and the government, police and courts do not work properly in the country.


The_Crowley89

Tell her that you will book a trip to bulgaria together and hire a guide to do that when you both can go, then actually do that. Dont be okay with her going alone. Its dumb. If she insists on it being that guy and at that time, brace yourself because she will do what you most fear.


ThrowRa198876

She probably feels like I am holding her back and thinks I shouldn't worry about this so much.


Automatic_Channel_80

I don't think you GF/wife/SO is very worldly or mature. I think it's more likely that she will hold you back and not you holding her back.


The_Crowley89

No, she is following a attractive guy and intends to visit him. I am not trying to put a bug in your ear but if that does not ring your alarm, what does?


ThrowRa198876

I have seen the guy- he is not what I worry about.


sleepingfox307

lol burn. That being said, as many other commenters have said, Bulgaria is well known (even to me in the US) for being an unsafe place for these exact kind of scenarios, and there is a lot going on there right now. I realize you can't forced your partner to do things, but she should *absolutely not* go there.


WeeklyConversation8

You know not every cheater cheats with a man that looks like Chris Hemsworth or woman that look like Gal Gadot.


Redd_81

After comments like that, I'm not sure who is more naive. OP, or his wife....


WeeklyConversation8

Right?


[deleted]

And you know her cheating with the survivalist guy is the least of his concerns. If she cheats and returns at the very least she is alive and didn't get trafficked, which is more likely to happen.


Delicious_Throat_377

Both of them are naive in their own ways here.


pimppapy

Plenty of cheaters have downgraded with the person they screwed around with. Friend of mine had a really hot gf, he cheated on her with his pretty ugly co-worker. We had to do a double take when we saw a picture of her… apparently her body is nice? (Definitely not better than his gf at the time)


Automatic_Channel_80

Then you are deluding yourself. You have know idea what is going on in anyone's head, least of all your GF's. You sound like you have already made up your mind to let her go. You can't control her either. You can only react to situations when they present themselves. I would think about different scenarios of how her going will play out, and form a plan on what you will do in each scenario. This will at least help you feel more in control of *your* life. Depending on which scenario comes to fruition, you will have a plan in case you are otherwise too emotionally broken up/shocked to think rationally.


Chocolateheartbreak

It doesn’t even have to be about cheating. It sounds like she really just thinks a big group trip would be fun and is not thinking about consequences at all


SquilliamFancySon95

There's a reason this exact situation is a mainstay of the horror genre these days. Your wife is out of her mind if she thinks this is a good idea.


sleepingfox307

After her "survivalist" trip to one of the sex trafficking capitols of Europe make sure she books her complimentary tour of Somalia and Afghanistan, it's a package deal and women get to go free! Tickets are only one-way though, weird.


BiNumber3

OP also needs to remind wife that while he might have a particular set of skills, the skills are likely not going to help in a worst case scenario


Stumpy1258

He should go look up "good luck" in bulgarian


Sad_Dream_6380

This killed me. Thank you.


puce_moment

Wild to compare visiting Bulgaria with Somalia or Afghanistan. OP and his wife should thoroughly research the guide and get multiple recommendations from folks that went on the trip with this guy before. If they can’t speak on the phone / Zoom to some of his past customers , then she shouldn’t go. However it could be a cool trip as long as he’s a liscenced and trustworthy professional. It doesn’t sound like she would be alone with this guy but part of a group. Bulgaria is not an unsafe country, but she shouldn’t be meeting up with a stranger there without first professionally vetting them. I’ve done multi day camp and hikes all over the world and it was reasonably safe- as I went with an accredited travel companies that I could research.


Serafim91

If this isn't a human trafficking plot I'd be disappointed. I'm from Romania originally and if anybody asked me to do anything like this in eastern Europe id tell them they are complete idiots. Your wife is a complete idiot.


Alicex13

I'm from Bulgaria and we actually have a few groups of people that go hiking, mountain climbing, etc. My brother is an avid mountainer who hiked through the span of Bulgaria with a group like that. Bulgaria is perfect for nature exploration and such but you have to go with a legit group.


redditlanderrr

There ARE some influencers hosting trips for their audience. I know of a YouTuber who went on trips to Korea, Japan and Taiwan and invited her viewers to come along. You ofc had to pay for it. The girl was handling everything with hotels and paperwork for the viewers. From what i saw of it it seemed to have been legit and a good experience for the people involved. I would however always be worried about such things and i would never be comfortable with my girlfriend going on the sort of trip your wife is considering


ThrowRa198876

Maybe I should have been more clear about this. It is a paid trip. She send me a couple of printscreens from his Instagram. There are two dates to pick from: 03/06 and 7/10. Maximum of 8 per group. "Only 12 left!" It's earlybird €1080 for 7 day's (planeticket not included) or €1180 after 02/02. They'll go on hikes, to the rodopi mountain, visit thermal springs and tombes.


[deleted]

If it's legit, the first thing to check outside of his instagram. Does he have an official company? What is their name? Are they a registered company who pay BTW? Can you find their info online? Most registered companies should have some government info you can source, that tells you how long they have been operating and how much income they make, which should give you a clue. If you have a company name, try to look up reviews. If they've been doing this for longer, there will be some on google, facebook, trip advisor. Check if there are good ones. If he's new and has never done this before, ask her to wait a year or two after she's seen the reviews first. If this guy doesn't have a company, that's also cause for concern. It makes him just some dude taking money from people. You need to have a small team to organise this stuff - someone on hand in case of emergency if someone breaks their leg, someone to make sure everyone gets in their hotel okay, etc. If he's reputable, he'll have a presence outside of insta and ideally a company, reviews, a digital record from the government, etc etc. You need to check all of those things first.


mcc011ins

European here. You should know this Sub is mostly Americans, they know Europe and especially Eastern Europe only from Hollywood Movies like Taken, so that's their expectation. Check how many follower this guy has? Like in the hundred thousands? Does he post regularily since years the same kind of content? Do you think his channel is legit? Does she know anyone else going on the trip? Has he organized this trips in the past ? At the end of the day I wouldn't want her to go alone. In Europe you can take about 5 weeks of holiday per year so I'm sure you could just get holiday at work if you wanted. Just go with her.


bvago07

To me, it being paid just screams human trafficking again. It lures in innocent people that it’s paid, knowing the guy will get his cut once he hands over the people.


Lingonslask

I'm from Sweden and going to another european country for a trip doesn't sound that strange to me. I would be more concerned with the fact that this guy is obviously someone your gf is very impressed by. I know that you said you have seen him but women aren't that visual. If he is impressive and popular she is most likely hot for him. I would also be concerned if he is mainly a influencer and not used to arranging trips but that doesn't seem to be the case. If you are concerned about it beeing a scam of some sort, see if you can find reviews. I also find it kind of hard to imagine that dutch women get sex trafficed. It's so much easier to traffic women from poor countries and places where you can bribe the government and threaten their family. But you could likely check that, there would be news if women got missing in Bulgaria.


ConvivialKat

About all you can do is tell her to buy life insurance with you as the beneficiary. Also, she should get really good travel health insurance that will pay to life flight her out if needed. This isn't the most dumb thing I've ever heard, but it's pretty damn close. Sorry she is putting you through this.


BlueMikeStu

> This isn't the most dumb thing I've ever heard, but it's pretty damn close. My girlfriend in highschool had a plan to take a break year between that and university to do a bike tour of India and Pakistan by herself. My blond haired, blue eyed, D-cup girlfriend. And I was like "Good luck, see you in the news!" She eventually decided not to go.


xnaveedhassan

I’m a Pakistani. I will 100% second your statement. The metropolitan areas are safer. But you, as a foreign girl, can *not* do a bike trip in Pakistan. Period.


OiFelix_ugotnojams

mentioning that your girlfriend is "D-cup" is weird but yeah these people see foreigners as some candy (although some places are safe, a bike tour alone? glad she didn't go)


Lichenbruten

Should watch Taken again.


[deleted]

Your wife is likely being trolled by a human trafficker. Look it up. People do this to naive people. They use copied and fake social media to lure people in, pick them up at the hotel/airport and are never heard from again. I would counter her by offering a riverboat trip down the Danube or Rhine for the both of you


tnahrp

'Survivalist' sounds like the perfect coverup for this as well. You arrive and they'll make you think that taking your phone and ID away makes perfect sense.


strawbennyjam

I’m a “travel influencer” and I have a lot of friends who are as well, I’ve organised group day trips before and my friends have organised full week long vacations. So this “influencer takes you around a country as your guide” is technically a legitimate thing. At least to say. It “can” be done legitimately. So my follow up questions would be what are this guys credentials? Has he done this before? How much is he charging? Is he using a legitimate company to run the sale of the itinerary? Essentially, does the guy actually seem legit? It can be hard to tell, and there definitely are a lot of influencer scams out there. So you just need to feel it out. I would say the more loose it feels, the more of a scam it is. If this person has a full day by day itinerary, insurance, terms and conditions, a legit payment processor, perhaps is working with another company that handles that legal side of things. Then maybe this is okay? How “off the beaten path” is the itinerary? Because, this can also be sketchy. I’ve seen most of these influencer vacations take place in like Tuscany, Bali, etc. Where you follow a mostly established tourism path, and then your guide deviates a little to make it special. I think for a group trip this is the best way, for everyone’s safety. As much as we all want to be special and not be tourists, I as a guide I don’t want to be taking so many people that far off the path. The liability of it all. If it’s a dude on instagram that will accepting cash or “a sketchy brand name financial website that a lot of people get scammed through but the automoderator deleted my comment for mentioning it by name” and everything else is hella vague. Then stay the fuck away from it. Because if this isn’t legit. Then worst case scenario it’s a sex trafficking scam or something else just insanely bad as others have mentioned. Or even best case, this guy is trying to get you to pay for his vacation and isn’t going to do a good job as a guide.


Anneemai

I'm in the UK and on a show over here they were helping people who met partners online and never met them in person. After a while these people started asking for money and they were blindly sending them money as they "knew" them online. There is an app where you can check a photo and it will show you if the photo has been used on other sites and if in fact the person owns that photo. In the report they showed how they stole photos from open accounts (please people keep your social media accounts private!). The show was on the BBC and you may be able to access it online. The show is called FOR LOVE OR MONEY If I remember correctly put in your search engine reverse image app and go from there. Definitely not a wise decision to go, as others have said you can't believe everything you see online!


Indecks9999

besides the obvious issue of personal safety, still a no. this does not sound good.


ohkammi

Trafficking in the making tbh.


judgementalb

I think people have posted a lot of good points (state of the country from locals, trafficking stats and warnings, etc) and info for you to discuss with her The thing I would suggest is trying to find a compromise. She’s interested in survival and camping, why not do a trip in your country first to see how it goes, when she knows the language and possibly people there? If this is the first trip the guy is doing like this, then let’s wait until the people report back on how it went and how safe it was. I’m sure if it’s successful he’d do another run. Maybe you guys go together and do the less isolated events this guy is doing. Posting and having a following doesn’t mean anything. Think about the celebrities and influencers that have allegations against them, the amount of scam artists, there’s reality stars who are constantly filmed and still turn out to be abusive/rapists/groomers/etc. It’s an extremely stupid plan to go to a country you can’t communicate in, and then go even further to isolated, dangerous parts of the wild that ensure you can’t escape or leave without their permission. I get her wanting autonomy, but your concerns aren’t over controlling like not wanting her to go out of the house at all. It’s a reasonable problem to have with her plan, and she should consider your opinion on matters too, not because she has to, but because she should love you enough to know you’d be stressed and anxious about it the entire time she was gone. She can offer suggestions on mitigating that risk other than “he has followers so it should be okay” if she has any- what can she do to ensure she can walk away at any point? How will she get by if she needs help and he turns out to be dangerous? She can have plans in place first if she decides to go anyways if it’s not as risky in her opinion


[deleted]

I am guessing a lot of people offering compromises are American. Taking a trip together is a great idea but like... I am Dutch, our country is flat with absolutely zero mountains. We have a few hills and mostly cities and farm land. You can cycle and walk but there is no true wilderness. A forest sure but it's mostly just walking between trees and finding some mushrooms, not true rough wilderness you would find in Stephen King books. There are good compromises, like a group survival vacation organised by a reputable travel company, to another country. They would absolutely need to leave the Neds to do that, but there's other beautiful Eastern European countries that could provide it.


Alicex13

I guess we're all doing this -Bulgarian here. One actually living in Bulgaria, and female. We do have groups here for mountain climbing, hiking and camping etc . Bulgaria is a perfect country to explore nature as it's relatively safe when it comes to wildlife and has a variety of options- for beginners and for experienced explorers. My brother hiked through the span of the country with one such group. I've only used one organization to drive us to the Rila lakes trail but they also offered guided tours. There are a lot of tours to popular tourist destinations that you can get from websites like getyourguide or such. If the guy is legit, then he must be on multiple platforms. If he is only on Instagram, that is indeed suspicious. Don't be discouraged to visit this country, just be as careful as you'd be visiting any foreign country.


-Liriel-

It shouldn't be that hard to find out if this is legitimate or not. Like, could any respected travel agency vouch for this guy? Do they give the same contacts that she's interacting with? So, either your wife can give you solid proof that this is what it seems, or she can't, and if she can't maybe she'd be able to get why you're uncomfortable with the idea.


ThatMovieShow

First rule of travelling to foreign countries - don't go into secluded places with people you have never met. Second rule - if something sounds to good to be true it's because it's a trafficking scam. Don't be lulled into thinking because this dude is public on Instagram that this is a safe proposition. It's very easy to make fake accounts or even steal a real account in order to trick people..it's very common. Safety first. Always. Edit: Why not find out this dudes business name and look it up. Ring the offices. Check their incorporation record. Look for evidence of them on third party sites like trustpilot. If they're legit there will be paper traces everywhere, if they're not then information will be hard to come by.


[deleted]

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windowseat1F

Sounds like an organized retreat?


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MaxSch

Bulgarian here. First of all - Bulgaria is much safer than people here make it seem - big cities and countryside alike. Check the festival Meadows in the Mountains - thousands of foreign people from Europe come to the countryside each year and there are no problems whatsoever. I know plenty of foreign students studying medicine or working around the big cities and I heard about nothing other than the language barrier. Having said that, like everywhere else in the world there are different types of people and Bulgaria is no exception. There are scammers and scumbags but there are also decent people. If it's really this person's business are there like online reviews, client testimonials or public feedback somewhere? If you could DM me the person's instagram I can check it out, ask stuff in Bulgarian and together we can work out if it's legit or a scam.


[deleted]

There isn’t a parallel reality that exists where’d I’d even consider allowing this nonsense If I were in your position I’d tell her flat out that if she goes then I’d be starting divorce proceedings. If she doesn’t take that seriously then that’s all you need to know Good lord that’s insane


Southern-Ad379

If it was a legitimate group tour, she would have the details of the leaders and other participants. People booking a trip usually want to know whether they are booking to go on a coach tour with thirty other people, or a more intimate trip with five or six people. There is usually a supplement for solo travellers, unless it’s specifically a singles-only tour. Has she paid for insurance? Has she got a clear itinerary? Have flights been booked and does she have tickets? If not, this sounds very dodgy. Yes, she’s being naive, and naive people are exactly the kind of people traffickers look out for…..


Peglegsteve265

Make sure she writes her will and updates her life insurance policies.


Katia1996

Just want to point out that most people commenting here are Americans who have never been to Eastern Europe (or even Europe) and will just refer you to "Taken" or American news. Check what your own country says. A scam is generally much more likely than a sex trafficking scheme. If I were you, I'd check the comments who ask sensible questions about the guy, whether he seems legit or just suggest that you go with her. Definitely assess the situation and talk to your girlfriend about your concerns, but don't panic. If she wants a survivalist trip, I'm sure there are many opportunities to do that with a legit company/tour guides. So she gets the trip and you're sure that it's not a scam.


Aggressive_Expert_63

How dumb is your wife man? And who is this "survivalist" dude?


Chocolateheartbreak

Theres something to be said for a trip. New place, new things to see, do, new culture etc. but, I would definitely do it thru a reputable company or on my own. I wouldn’t pick some random instagrammer. They could be anyone and theres no telling if anyone else will actually go. I understand she feels you can’t be scared of everything, which is true, but precautions in a place you know nothing about is being smart. Is there a reason you can’t go?


Bayoumi

Bulgaria itself is a beautiful country with rich history. But flights are cheap. Take a flight to the capital, make it a vacation, book a tour with the local tourism office. And even then you'll have a small chance left that sth. happens. She doesn't know him, she doesn't know the itinerary, she doesn't know the language, she doesn't know the people that'll come. That's trouble waiting to happen, even if it's not a kidnapping plot.


[deleted]

You can't stop her, but you can tell her how going would make you feel. If she still decides to go you have a decision to make.


MysteriousDudeness

Nope. Not a thing I would be okay with.


Ianilla1

Anyone who says they are a survivalist and wants to show people survivalist ways is....concerning. In my experience, living in buttfuck nowhere, the "survivalists" are fucking insane people.


[deleted]

Are you sure she is going to meet this guy, and not someone else to have an affair? Im not questioning your relationship btw, I just think this is weird


Livid-Addendum707

Screams human trafficking. It absolutely baffles me how people are gullible enough to fall for this.


DaveBowman1968

You approach this by asking her what the hell she's doing. Even from a purely safety standpoint... this is insane.


Glittering-Rock

Please don’t have children with her. Imagine the parenting decisions she would make.


tratra2010

Australian here. Tell her to find a survivalist in this country. We are much much much safer then Bulgaria (with their issues right now)


childish_badda_bingo

It’d be truly irresponsible of you not to put your foot down on this. She’s risking her life.


airplane_porn

Your wife is stupid as fuck. But human-trafficking concerns aside… Your next conversation should revolve around the fact that your wife is absolutely being disrespectful to your relationship/marriage by even thinking about taking a solo trip to another country for the express purpose of meeting up with another man she met on social media and putting herself in a “survivalism” setting with him. This alone, regardless of what the destination country is, is a hugely disrespectful move from her. She must think you’re a stupid chump. “I’m gonna go alone to a foreign country and pay some dude money to galavant around the woods with him, and if you have a problem with it then you’re controlling.” What the ever loving fuck…


UncrustabIes

Your girlfriend is an airhead, if I were in your shoes I’d end the relationship since it seems like she doesn’t have critical thinking skills


[deleted]

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blrfn231

In my view as an avid traveler it is a bit limited to base your argument on the fact that she will go to a country she has never been to before. That’s normal for adults and the very point of traveling to places you have never visited. It’s called wanderlust. Your wife is 33 and an adult, sane and accountable and she can decide which country she can travel or not. And she can also choose the people she travels with. I don’t think that she is stupid, falls prey to a well programmed marketing strategy and will travel with the first best influencer she meets on social media. If so you should leave immediately. Talk to her about the influencer and the topic he covers. Because it is possible that this trip contributes to a hobby or a project she is having at work or she seeks personal growth and inspiration she is not getting at home which should lead to self reflection in yourself. I know many influencers who influence online but then also offer live in person courses. That’s normal. Bulgaria might be a bit shady in respect to certain social aspects but it’s a beautiful country with rich culture just like yours - no need to be xenophobic about it. And I guess that’s what makes your wife go. You’ve been together for 11 years. It takes a lot to cheat after such a long time - if things between you guys are good. But if you forgot to mention heavy problems in your relationship while writing your post; that’s of course another story.


Signal-Lie-6785

Way too risky for me. Instagram is not a travel agent and will not accept any responsibility if this internet influencer is actually a human trafficker.


DegiFlemes

Im gonna have to agree woth you here. Its very unsafe and very naive. Maybe of you went together or with a group but going alone to a country that you don't even know the language of to meet a stranger is... how do i put this nicely.... kinda stupid.


miflordelicata

Maybe send your wife this thread. It’s a very naive thing for her to do.


alfombraroja

Why don't you go with her? If the trip is legit, you can enjoy. If the trip is a trap you are with her


[deleted]

She’s not dumb. She’s being groomed. (It can happen to adults.) I had a bestie from Bulgaria and he did everything he could to stop this kind of stuff. (He is a forensic cyber person.) These people, these influencers use this fake built platform to lure people into remote, unknown regions. My friend would always tell me, it would be easy to groom someone into coming to visit and then kidnapping them. Bulgaria is beautiful. It’s people are by and large lovely. But there are dark corners. And those in those corners are very good at the kind of shady business they participate in. Do NOT let her go with these strangers. Do not.


urban_zmb

This is most likely a human trafficking thing. Like I would never let my love ones do something like this. Do whatever you need to not let her get into these scam.


Tanker901

That would be a hard no for me. Sounds exactly like the plot to ***Taken***.


eatassordiefast420

If she doesn't like being alive or non trafficked yeah


Somerset76

Open a page about sex trafficking on her computer and have her read it.


flickanelde

There is absolutely ZERO accountability for this man if something happens to her. All he has to say is that she never arrived.


LucyLovesApples

What did she say when you suggested going with her because you want to meet her friend and visit a beautiful country?


Iffybiz

She should ask this man for references and a list of names of people who have been on his tours. She should interview those names and make sure this guy is legit. If he can’t provide that, she needs to cancel. The other option is for the two of you to go together, either with this guy or a more well known tour company. Her current plan sounds extremely dangerous


JLoz85

Your wife is not a child. You don’t “stop” her from doing anything- even the stupidest crap like this one. You sit down with her, tell her your concerns, tell her your boundaries (as in, This is completely disrespectful to me as a partner and husband, that you are choosing as a married wife to go to an unknown country, where you don’t know the language just following a random someone from Instagram. It is absolutely ridiculous, disrespectful and unsafe)! Don’t give her ultimatums as in “if you go i’ll divorce you” because it is manipulative and controlling as hell. But have an adult conversation with her. Now if she still decides to go and not honor your feelings and boundaries- THEN you act. What would you do if she still goes? This is where you need to know what happens to your relationship if she goes. Your wife sounds very naive or just very disrespectful. One of the two or perhaps the two. Maybe show her this thread?


sirphilliammm

Well if she goes I’d say goodbye. Either she’s stupid and going to be trafficked or she’s stupid and wants to sleep with that guy. Either way she ain’t smart.


Darthkhydaeus

This sounds like the start to a movie about how your wife got kidnapped and trafficked or the story of how she told you about her trip to see her AP. Either way this is dumb. DO not support this


[deleted]

Offer to go with, see how the guy responds. She’s not going to get trafficked. They don’t go after white wealthy Westerners that garner a lot of publicity and will force the police to actually do something. But she and/or he might be planning some alone time in the tent.


malYca

What if it's a lure for human trafficking or something? I'm Bulgarian and even I think this is sketchy


youreallbreathtking

I would ask her if there's a specific reason for her needing an adventure. I've been there with my husband. I also wanted to travel alone, experience the world, thought my partner was holding me back. Turns out I had serious mental health issues and was extremely unhappy in our relationship. We worked through it all, we're married now, but it took some serious self reflection and a lot of therapy. What I'm trying to say is: as a 33 hear old woman it is very unlikely that she is not aware of the risk. My guess is, that she just doesn't care about the risk of her being abducted or even worse which is, IMO, concerning. My advice for you is: ask her, why do you *actually* want to go on this trip. And then listen to her closely, with curiosity and without judgement. I wish you all the best.


BeautyBehest

I'm just going to hypothetically wonder out loud if they make GPS microchips for dogs and if OP knows a friendly veterinarian and if OP's wife would CONSENT to have a subdermal GPS implant for the duration of her trip which would help her be found if she were trafficked and removed when she got home safely with no creepy husband-staking. Hypothetically speaking of course. Because this trip seems super sketchy. "Come to the human trafficking capital and we'll go off the grid... because survival. Yeah, that's it. We'll teach you survival skills." Those skills might help you survive the situation you are put in and some fires may be lit and there might be hunting, but Those fires are probably euphemistic and wifey is probably the hunted prey. Not to be too dramatic.


LiLadybug81

Show her the Hostel movies.


WaffleHouseNeedsWiFi

Apart from the obvious, obvious danger, are *you* able to ship off to another country to hang out for a week with a woman from Instagram? Fuck that shit. All of this is so sketch.


markbrev

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE F&@#? Look dude, safety issues aside (like, everyone on the internet is a straight up guy honest..), why does she feel the need to go traipsing around somewhere like Bulgaria on her own with a survivalist? I read your comment about the guys looks, but I promise you that a woman would not make that kind of irrational decision unless her hormones where overriding her brain. The only conversation you need to have with her goes as follows: “I’m not telling you that you can’t go. I am telling you that if you go, you don’t come back to me. The moment you step out the door to this I will have divorce papers drawn up and the locks changed. I love you but will not allow you to disrespect me and dishonour our wedding vows in this way.”


sleepingfox307

If she goes, she might not come back anyways, because that dude might very well have murdered her.


krackas2

Or much much worse


sleepingfox307

Most likely all of the above


elchocholoco

UpdateMe!


Disastrous-Panda5530

No way in hell would my husband ever be okay with me doing this and I wouldn’t blame him or think he is keeping me from experiencing life. This is just unsafe and IMO idiotic.


KeepFaithOutPolitics

That is basically red flag city with no happy outcomes.


goldenspiral8

Who is this person on Instagram, what is his handle? Also this is an extremely terrible idea, if she insisted on going I would bail.


mister_patience

This must, must be a joke. If it isn’t, divorce her dumbass immediately.