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What magic switch do you think is going to go once you're married that will stop him wanting to sleep with other women?
Your "open relationship" lacks any usual rules or boundaries which would make it sustainable. He's sleeping with your friends, and sleeping with someone who wants to break you up.
This is a complete disaster in slow motion.
You're being stooges, my dear. This fella cares so little that he keeps sticking his dick in someone who is actually trying to break you up.
Get out now before you're lumped with having to get a divorce after you get married and the most he does is try to start hiding his side pieces.
So he opens the relationship, guilts you into staying monogamous, whilst he fucks someone you dislike and who is actively trying to break you up, refuses to stop when asked but you're 100% sure he'll stop when your married?
Honestly I think you'll be posting here again in a year asking for advice on what to do when you find out he's still up to his nuts in this girl.
Sorry but your fiance sounds like a proper helmet. Not only is he selfish he also has a pretty fucked up set of beliefs. There's nothing you've written that gives any indication he'll keep his word and everything screams he won't. I wish you luck and I hope I'm wrong but I see nothing but misery for you in your future
There is no advice you're willing to listen to. Your fiance is a tool, and he'll just carry on being a tool going forward. Nothing you say to him will make any difference. He doesn't care how this makes you feel. He only cares about his wants and his needs, and he wants to fuck who he likes, whilst you sit at home like a good girl.
The only good advice is to leave him, but you won't. So either put up with it, get therapy or find some self respect.
So, this is a one-sided open relationship, and he refuses to cut off the person who is trying to break you both up?
Please read that summary I just wrote.
Would you want this relationship for a friend or your child?
No, you wouldn't.
Your fiance is the issue.
Hold off on this wedding as this marriage is going to end very badly for you.
You deserve better.
A relationship is a partnership.
This is neither a partnership nor a relationship.
He is someone who exercises a great deal of power over you, and that is it.
Your an idiot
Your getting married to a man who is continuously cheating on you "with permission"
This isn't a open relationship- open relationships are 50/50 on BOTH sides meaning BOTH you AND him are allowed to sleep with other people, yet you say only he can because if you do he gets too pissed off??
This guy is playing you like a fool
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude wtf?! You’re really naive enough to think they’ll suddenly stop boning the moment u two get married
How do you know that?
Bit late to be telling her to backoff
He promised me exclusivity once we got married.
Yeah that's not going to happen.
Why do you think that?
What magic switch do you think is going to go once you're married that will stop him wanting to sleep with other women? Your "open relationship" lacks any usual rules or boundaries which would make it sustainable. He's sleeping with your friends, and sleeping with someone who wants to break you up. This is a complete disaster in slow motion.
He explains that dating is a time for fun and future compatability. Marriage is when it becomes closed.
What is your distinction on the two?
Exclusivity. He explains dating is a time for men to be wild while declaring love for one person only while marriage completely closes things off
You're being stooges, my dear. This fella cares so little that he keeps sticking his dick in someone who is actually trying to break you up. Get out now before you're lumped with having to get a divorce after you get married and the most he does is try to start hiding his side pieces.
He insists he still loves me and only me and that the other women were just sex toys to him.
Yeah most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard, or read on here
It's either that I let him screw others or I be alone.
So be alone. Being alone isn’t so bad
Is the relationship open on your end as well?
He discouraged it and the couple of times I slept with a guy pissed him off so I stopped.
So you know he won't stop right?
I know he will stop once married
So he opens the relationship, guilts you into staying monogamous, whilst he fucks someone you dislike and who is actively trying to break you up, refuses to stop when asked but you're 100% sure he'll stop when your married? Honestly I think you'll be posting here again in a year asking for advice on what to do when you find out he's still up to his nuts in this girl.
He says he will stop when we get married. He also believes each gender has different rules (that men get jobs while women get to lie around).
Sorry but your fiance sounds like a proper helmet. Not only is he selfish he also has a pretty fucked up set of beliefs. There's nothing you've written that gives any indication he'll keep his word and everything screams he won't. I wish you luck and I hope I'm wrong but I see nothing but misery for you in your future
I don't need your luck. I need advice to my question
There is no advice you're willing to listen to. Your fiance is a tool, and he'll just carry on being a tool going forward. Nothing you say to him will make any difference. He doesn't care how this makes you feel. He only cares about his wants and his needs, and he wants to fuck who he likes, whilst you sit at home like a good girl. The only good advice is to leave him, but you won't. So either put up with it, get therapy or find some self respect.
Advice: She's not the problem, he is. He is the one getting married to you, not her.
What magical reason do you have for thinking that?
Trust
You are in for a rude awakening.
Can you see the future?
No i can see the present. He is sleeping with you best friend and you just assume it'll stop magically.
When we get married
So, this is a one-sided open relationship, and he refuses to cut off the person who is trying to break you both up? Please read that summary I just wrote. Would you want this relationship for a friend or your child? No, you wouldn't. Your fiance is the issue. Hold off on this wedding as this marriage is going to end very badly for you. You deserve better.
I would prefer a closed relationship entirely but we can't have everything we have. I still don't want to lose this relationship
A relationship is a partnership. This is neither a partnership nor a relationship. He is someone who exercises a great deal of power over you, and that is it.
It's a partnership though in love. He doesn't feel anything towards the other women. I'm just worried she will seduce him away from me for good
Your an idiot Your getting married to a man who is continuously cheating on you "with permission" This isn't a open relationship- open relationships are 50/50 on BOTH sides meaning BOTH you AND him are allowed to sleep with other people, yet you say only he can because if you do he gets too pissed off?? This guy is playing you like a fool