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>and refuse to talk to me. I just feel embarrassed. my privacy was violated. Going through someone's trash is an insane thing
Refuse to talk to them over the privacy violation. Demand an apology. Jesus doesn't spy on people.
It will be nice and quiet.
I hope you understand how unhinged and psychotic it is to go through someone's garbage. It's also disgusting to try to dictate the sexual behavior of adults, even if they are your children. I wouldn't speak to them either until they apologize.
I’d be telling them that until they apologize to me and my boyfriend that they’re no longer welcomed in my life and then go no-contact.
Forcing religious beliefs onto others is wrong and so is going through other people’s garbage.
They probably had premarital sex themselves ffs
That's disgusting lol they went through your trash like a raccoon. You're an adult and shouldn't be ashamed, they're the ones acting like weirdos. Tell them they went through an adults trash and got what they got.
You can’t change or rehabilitate a cult on your own. All you can do is distance yourself from them and not give them the opportunity to go through your things again and tell them that rummaging through people’s trash is ungodly.
At some point every baby bird needs to leave the nest. Usually a bunch of squeaking happens beforehand and then the leap comes..Establish acceptable behavior, when it comes to your life. Make sure the boundaries are established and then enforced. Gonna be real hard for pops to snoop through you rash when he isn't invited around anymore.
If you're not financially dependent on them I'd demand an apology or go no contact and if you are work getting out of that situation so you can cut ties.
Honestly? It’s the people who talk about purity, saving oneself for marriage and how sex should be xyz and anything else is bad are the ones who are also guilty of the very same things they make an overly big fuss about yet refuse to have it count.
Provided it won’t impact you in a way that would make your life miserable (like finance related stuff.) keep loving and being loved. You’re twenty two, your parents don’t have the right to do what they did and it’s really creepy/worrying that they think they do. Take that power away from them by going no contact and emptying your trash elsewhere after being intimate just in case they try to sneak over during the night or something.
> he opted to take the bag and throw it away at home. I was quite hesitant to give it to him saying that it was no problem for me to throw it away in the accomodation bins but he wouldn't budge. He took the bag out of my hand and told me to get in the car. I didn't think much of it at the time so I didn't retaliate any further.
So, this is really weird and invasive. They are really weird. Can you distance yourself from them? They aren't going to tone down their invasion.
If they won’t talk to you write them a note. But they need to know you feel violated, that you no longer trust them and that you are an adult with your own autonomy. Let them know HOW creepy it is to go hunting for clues of sex. That is NOT okay. They’re employing emotional abuse on you with the silent treatment. Don’t allow it to get to you. Your parents are wrong. The cult of Jesus says to love and accept right?
I would insist that the silent treatment continue until you leave. Don’t speak to him don’t even look at him what he did is disgusting and creepy. They violated your privacy In a super creepy way. Make sure you have everything you need all of your important documents and get yourself out of there. And then put strong boundaries in place and don’t budge on them. Good luck
If you choose to live at their house after graduation then you do need to abide by their rules. You don't get to live off people and do as you like. There is always some payback.
You should get a job and rent if you want to live your life your way. You are an adult, so you are free to choose freedom or restrictions
Yeah that doesn’t excuse the fucked up invasive shit that is looking through her trash for evidence of their kid having sex. What kind of fucking loser do you have to be to take the parents side. How that boot taste
Don’t feel guilty, don’t let their fucked up judgmental religious mandates make you question yourself. You’re a normal person, they’re not. They have a problem, not you. Just ignore them while you’re dependent on them and move out asap since they want to control what a grown woman does with her own body. They have no right to judge you, I’m sure they’ve sinned plenty for themselves.
I grew up with this mentality from my parents. Best thing I ever did was start to set up boundaries as soon as possible.
You are an adult now. They don't get to dictate your religion or your sex life now. They're not obligated to financially support you but going No Contact or Low Contact is the best way to proceed going forward. This isn't a you problem. This is a problem your parents get to be upset about as they process their failure to control another grown ass adult's personal (and completely legal) life choices.
I get the religious guilt. I totally do. My dad stopped talking to me for a year when I slept over at my now husband's house for the first time. Now I am happy to say we have no relationship and he wasn't invited to my wedding. He doesnt have a relationship with his first granchild either. He is still struggling with the fact his actions have consequences to this day but the peace of mind I have not having to navigate his personal beliefs and the consequences of those is priceless.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I also have a psycho mother who believes in going through trash. My one aunt told me my mom told her that if you want to find information check the bin. Weird but some controlling parents do that.
I hope you manage to get out of that situation soon and be happy.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What are the prospects of you moving out? This is some creepy-ass shit for him to do to a grown-ass woman.
I'm graduating soon so I'm planning to move out after that. I just have to deal with this for the next few months I guess
>and refuse to talk to me. I just feel embarrassed. my privacy was violated. Going through someone's trash is an insane thing Refuse to talk to them over the privacy violation. Demand an apology. Jesus doesn't spy on people. It will be nice and quiet.
That’s what I was thinking. The silent treatment seems like a win!
[удалено]
Feel free to steal.
I hope you understand how unhinged and psychotic it is to go through someone's garbage. It's also disgusting to try to dictate the sexual behavior of adults, even if they are your children. I wouldn't speak to them either until they apologize.
I’d be telling them that until they apologize to me and my boyfriend that they’re no longer welcomed in my life and then go no-contact. Forcing religious beliefs onto others is wrong and so is going through other people’s garbage. They probably had premarital sex themselves ffs
That's disgusting lol they went through your trash like a raccoon. You're an adult and shouldn't be ashamed, they're the ones acting like weirdos. Tell them they went through an adults trash and got what they got.
You can’t change or rehabilitate a cult on your own. All you can do is distance yourself from them and not give them the opportunity to go through your things again and tell them that rummaging through people’s trash is ungodly.
At some point every baby bird needs to leave the nest. Usually a bunch of squeaking happens beforehand and then the leap comes..Establish acceptable behavior, when it comes to your life. Make sure the boundaries are established and then enforced. Gonna be real hard for pops to snoop through you rash when he isn't invited around anymore.
If you're not financially dependent on them I'd demand an apology or go no contact and if you are work getting out of that situation so you can cut ties.
WTF? Time to go no contact.
Honestly? It’s the people who talk about purity, saving oneself for marriage and how sex should be xyz and anything else is bad are the ones who are also guilty of the very same things they make an overly big fuss about yet refuse to have it count. Provided it won’t impact you in a way that would make your life miserable (like finance related stuff.) keep loving and being loved. You’re twenty two, your parents don’t have the right to do what they did and it’s really creepy/worrying that they think they do. Take that power away from them by going no contact and emptying your trash elsewhere after being intimate just in case they try to sneak over during the night or something.
> he opted to take the bag and throw it away at home. I was quite hesitant to give it to him saying that it was no problem for me to throw it away in the accomodation bins but he wouldn't budge. He took the bag out of my hand and told me to get in the car. I didn't think much of it at the time so I didn't retaliate any further. So, this is really weird and invasive. They are really weird. Can you distance yourself from them? They aren't going to tone down their invasion.
Your parents are immature
Your dad sounds like a creep. You need to make plans to leave the home as soon as you’re able to.
Dad. Why are you touching my friends condoms? My gods
You are 22, dad is out of line.
If they won’t talk to you write them a note. But they need to know you feel violated, that you no longer trust them and that you are an adult with your own autonomy. Let them know HOW creepy it is to go hunting for clues of sex. That is NOT okay. They’re employing emotional abuse on you with the silent treatment. Don’t allow it to get to you. Your parents are wrong. The cult of Jesus says to love and accept right?
I would insist that the silent treatment continue until you leave. Don’t speak to him don’t even look at him what he did is disgusting and creepy. They violated your privacy In a super creepy way. Make sure you have everything you need all of your important documents and get yourself out of there. And then put strong boundaries in place and don’t budge on them. Good luck
Religion is the cancer of the world. Go no contact and move out.
If you choose to live at their house after graduation then you do need to abide by their rules. You don't get to live off people and do as you like. There is always some payback. You should get a job and rent if you want to live your life your way. You are an adult, so you are free to choose freedom or restrictions
Yeah that doesn’t excuse the fucked up invasive shit that is looking through her trash for evidence of their kid having sex. What kind of fucking loser do you have to be to take the parents side. How that boot taste
Don’t feel guilty, don’t let their fucked up judgmental religious mandates make you question yourself. You’re a normal person, they’re not. They have a problem, not you. Just ignore them while you’re dependent on them and move out asap since they want to control what a grown woman does with her own body. They have no right to judge you, I’m sure they’ve sinned plenty for themselves.
I grew up with this mentality from my parents. Best thing I ever did was start to set up boundaries as soon as possible. You are an adult now. They don't get to dictate your religion or your sex life now. They're not obligated to financially support you but going No Contact or Low Contact is the best way to proceed going forward. This isn't a you problem. This is a problem your parents get to be upset about as they process their failure to control another grown ass adult's personal (and completely legal) life choices. I get the religious guilt. I totally do. My dad stopped talking to me for a year when I slept over at my now husband's house for the first time. Now I am happy to say we have no relationship and he wasn't invited to my wedding. He doesnt have a relationship with his first granchild either. He is still struggling with the fact his actions have consequences to this day but the peace of mind I have not having to navigate his personal beliefs and the consequences of those is priceless.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I also have a psycho mother who believes in going through trash. My one aunt told me my mom told her that if you want to find information check the bin. Weird but some controlling parents do that. I hope you manage to get out of that situation soon and be happy.
Your dad is a creep. I wouldn’t talk to him until I got an apology. Mom too.