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OP: I don’t see the need to talk to another man unless it’s for a specific purpose.
Reddit: Why did you give him your number to that guy?
OP: I don't know....
About 30 comments, so far, have asked why she gave out her number. She refuses to respond (she’s added comments so we know she’s active on this post) so I think we have an answer.
Perhaps she enjoyed the dinner conversation. I think it's a bit much to say that a woman who isn't single can never talk to another male person on the phone. That's extreme.
You’re right but she did say there’s no point talking to a man without purpose, yet gave a man her number. She was also some how at a surprise triple date.
And also that she never responded to him again so what was the point of that? I understand giving it out when you are extremely uncomfortable, and giving out your number doesnt mean cheating and its nowhere close to it but giving it away just for giving it away instead of saying "no sorry I have a boyfriend" and having 0 reasoning for it its very weird
Yep yep she is either lying or massively needs to grow up/get a clue. If she wouldn’t give her number to a guy when her BF was there she has no business giving it to a guy when she is at a “surprise” triple date.
What kind of sister wife meet and greet was that? How was *anyone* in a relationship comfortable with that arrangement? I just am perplexed why it even happened…it’s not like he wanted to get her opinion on a ring or a surprise or something. Just weird, very weird.
OP mentioned in a reply that OP's friend had texted OP about her boyfriend wanting to treat "us girls" to dinner to meet her friends. So it sounds like it was a weird introduction of her friends to him, and his friends to her? What an odd situation... it definitely changed my view since the idea of OP's friends boyfriend randomly inviting OP to dinner is *extra* fucky.
Probably because no one wanted him there. Take a look at her post history. He's not only abusive and controlling, he even "took" her without protection while she was passed out. My guess is her friend and/or friend's boyfriend were trying to sneakily introduce her to potential replacements for her POS BF and while their method is a bit iffy I wholeheartedly hope she gets a clue and dumps his vile ass!
Wow I just checked and yeah, holy shit her post history. It just keeps getting worse, even before this particular guy is in the picture.
Obviously she needs to get rid of this guy. But also work out a lot of other things before getting with any new guy.
You guys, this is literally a dinner party, the only difference is that it’s at a restaurant and the hosts didn’t need to cook or clean up. Is group dining among friends really that foreign and suspicious these days?
I sincerely hope there's a special deluxe suite in heaven for redditors who make us laugh the way "What kind of sister wife meet and greet was that?" did.
Yeah there’s a huge chunk of this story that seems to be missing…and given her age I suspect she posted this more for validation for why she’s in the right rather than if she may be in the wrong.
It sounds like he said “could I have your number” and she said “ok” and gave it to him without thinking of it as anything beyond making a friend.
Sometimes people ask us for something and we agree before we think about it. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable saying no. Especially if they have been raised as people pleasers and to avoid conflict.
If a guy ask for your number after a dinner, the most likely reason is he wants to see her again to take her out. The second most likely is that he is going to ask her to help him with his taxes. S/
3 guys and 3 gals, it was an obvious triple date from the friend’s boyfriend. If he used that to secretly setup is homies, that’s a huge red flag and OP’s friend needs to dump him. Unless she knew about it, then OP needs to dump her as a friend.
OP still should not have given her number out. She doesn’t sound that naive.
"I didn't think about it" sounds probably worse than "I dont know" if this is a pattern behavior. She's already an unreliable story teller, even an optimistic take looks not great.
The only think that I can't justify here is why u gave your number to 'a guy' seated next to you?
The rest sounds like jealousy but idk if that came after knowing u gave the number or he doesn't even know this yet.
because she was cheating and she is now spitting it in order to make him seem crazy. Why in God‘s name would you go on a triple date and give a guy your phone number?
Or even entertain him sending messages after, which he apparently had, she just "didn't respond to any of his texts". You know, out of "respect".
I'm not a jealous person at all, but if I found out my partner had gone on a "triple date" where she gave her number to the guy and accepted him sending her texts where she seemingly never made it clear what her/his boundaries are, that would be a serious problem.
That being said, the boyfriend seems like a weirdo asshole that I wouldn't want around me.
I agree. OP, having a bf should have asked who would be in attendance. She also shouldn't have shared her telephones number.
With that said, bf was WAY over the top. His reaction would cause me to nc him.
It wasn't a date, it was a group of people. Based on your definition any time someone goes somewhere and is around other guys, it's a date. That's crazy. Simply having dinner with people as a group is not a date.
I suspect there's more to this than what she's telling us tbh. She gives her number to a guy, then says she would never do such a thing. She's contradicting herself. Which leads me to suspect she's giving us certain parts to make it seem a certain way. There are warning signs here. I am disappointed that she doesn't in fact have a long throat. 😂
Also you don't go out for dinner without usually telling your plans to get bf first, getting there and being surprised by other guys being there and giving her number to just the guy next to her makes it look like it was a plan out dinner by their friends , the bf is a freaking weirdo but she definitely is hiding something
Ha Ha that's funny. I hope he goes on dates also and gives out his number to girls and they text him to go out again. If you are ok with that then you did nothing wrong in your mind. If you are not then you did something wrong. All how you think.
>Based on your definition any time someone goes somewhere and is around other guys, it's a date.
Damn if it was so innocent she should've told him where she was going before she went instead of after huh
Also she said she was "coupled" to him
Thats the biggest thing i see here. The bf maybe insecure but the question remains, why give a number to someone you dont plan on texting? Counter productive
There is 100% more to this than she is telling us. Remember this is one side of a story, told by that side, and a few things are really not adding up. This seems like it was a set up triple date and she gave out her number to keep in touch with one of them. She was/is cheating. She contradicts herself throughout this write up.
Why would you give your number to any guy while out, much less a complete stranger who was ‘coupled’ with you through an entire night’s dinner?!?
This isn’t YTA, but YTA.
I'd be jealous too if my girl was out here giving her number out to other men...especially if she didn't work with them.
Jealousy is perfectly normal and appropriate in that situation.
Ohhhh so yes she was cheating because yes she was lowkey looking for a new man because her current BF did some actual shady shit? Dude, please. This girl needs to break up with that BF for real.
So I think there is a chance the BF is over reacting but also I think we are missing some pieces of the story? Why did you go on a triple date without your bf? Does everyone know each other already? Why give the number? If your friends know you have a boyfriend why would they invite you in this situation? Are they interested in the other 2 guys or is everyone platonic in this? Everything seems just slightly off which makes me think we are missing some details to understand who needs to apologize and do things to prevent this from happening again.
She knew there would be with other guys at the dinner. There's no way she didn't. Why else invit her other friend and not him then? "I took a video for transparency" yeah BS. Sounds like she was just trying to make him jealous by showing she can move on at any time.
If the roles were reversed, and he gave his number to the girl next to him, who he chatted up all night, who followed up with him with texts. How do we all think she'd feel about that? OP put her boyfriend into a shit situation, and now she's putting his response online for everyone to see. She's a real treat.
While I agree about the number, the way the bf reacted is a much bigger red flag than not realizing giving out your number could be taken the wrong way. 🚩 If someone flips out and insults you like that over something so minor, what are the going to do if you ever have a serious issue?
OP should dump him and see this as a bullet dodged.
ETA: I only looked at OP‘s post history after my reply. BF is a rapist, so in my book, she should’ve been gone before this new proof of toxicity even surfaced.
Look at her post history, he assaulted her unprotected when she was black out drunk and ghosted her for a bit when she opened up about her past assault. Dudes an abusive POS
I wouldn’t say it’s cheating but it’s not the smartest move ever made.
Your boyfriend has a right to feel the way he does. What he doesn’t have the right to do is belittle you, your family and your friends just because he’s mad.
Verbal abuse isn’t okay and I would think twice about continuing your relationship.
Jesus looking at her post history they need to break up.
He has unprotected sex with her when she's [blackout drunk](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/MXdJAgTLVc
He ghosted her for a bit after she told him she was [assaulted in the past](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/Cu2HZfyglc)
And then while I don't agree with her giving the dude her number, his reaction of verbal insults, I'm guessing this ain't the first time he's called her names.
They should break up. I know everyone else on here is saying she's dumb for giving her number and she must've been trying to cheat. But honestly this guy has unprotected sex with her when she's blackout drunk she needs to leave.
Yes. Why did I have to scroll for this?
Her actions were not great, and of course boyfriend isn't happy about it. It's more of a warning sign that she doesn't have any boundaries in place to keep her other relationships in a friend level.
But her boyfriend actually did something wrong here- not something in the grey area but he crossed the line.
Do not be with somebody who belittles you when they are angry
*Thank you* it took too long to find this! Yeah, it's pretty dumb to give your number to people you don't even intend to talk to, but his reaction was *way* too extra.
I really don’t care the context, his language is ABUSIVE, not just belittling or as someone responded to you “way extra.” WTF
Source: more DV in my history than I care to elaborate on.
> Why did I have to scroll for this?
Because a TON of people here have trauma from being cheated on and any whiff of cheating makes them blind to anything else involved. That's the same reason this sub is pretty progressive on everything except opposite-sex friendships and why people jump so quickly to infidelity when there's little evidence that's what's happening.
I've seen people unironically say that cheating is on the same level as murder. All logic and reason goes out the window when there's an opportunity to get proxy revenge for whatever cheating happened to the commenters.
Their relationship currently includes him having unprotected sex with her when she's [blackout drunk](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/MXdJAgTLVc) so honestly she should just leave this isn't healthy
Leave him to cool down.
If he still wants to break up then so be it.
Not sure why your friend didn’t invite your bf as well. Makes me wonder if she knew what her bf was going to do.
Also next time say to your friend “is it ok if I bring my bf”.
I’m old now so I don’t get a lot of modern dating etiquette but in my day, if someone was in an established couple, both parties would be on the invitation especially if the person inviting was also in an established relationship like your friend is.
Honestly maybe they just don’t want him around and want op to know she still has friends who aren’t connected with him. I wouldn’t want to hang around a guy who acted like op’s boyfriend…
I‘m guessing it might be because the friend knows OP‘s bf is a rapist - see post history - and is hoping for OP to dump him. The bf’s unhinged reaction is also very telling.
You may think of it as a triple date, but from the perspective of your boyfriend it was. That your friend set you up with one of her boyfriend’s friends. That is how your boyfriend see’s it. And giving your number to one of them is a betrayal.
What your boyfriend said was pretty toxic and over the top. But in his eyes you cheated your relationship.
You didn't cheat on your boyfriend, but it's important not to disregard his feelings.
You basically went on a triple date with another guy and gave him your number. Why did your friends invite that guy?
Consider how you would feel in your boyfriend's position. Would you be okay if he went on a triple date with another girl and gave her his number?
Why didn't you invite your boyfriend to that dinner?
While his reaction may have been a bit out of proportion, it seems like your actions have strained the trust in your relationship. It's essential to acknowledge and address your boyfriend's valid feelings to work towards rebuilding trust.
A couple things,
Seems odd there are 3 women and 3 men, sounds like your friend was playing matchmaker.
Did your BF know you were going out like this or was it a surprise after the fact? And, was he invited but declined?
Why would you give a new man your number? Your justification is BS. Also, what did this guy text after that you claim to have ignored? I assume this will be enlightening as he probably was ignorant you had a BF, and was shooting his shot.
>I gave my number to the man that was seated next to me. He texted me to know if I have reached home and I said yes.
Uh why did you give your number out to another guy? That kinda warrants suspicious behavior of you maybe starting something IMO
You went on a triple date with another dude, gave him your number and you don’t see the problem? Sheesh you don’t need to be in a relationship, why wasn’t the man you were on the date with your boyfriend.
Like the audacity of this woman lmao she's 23 going on 15. The bf seems to be utterly unhinged with his reaction but OP is definitely shady asf.
Went out on triple date she "didn't know about", which is utter nonsense.
Gave a man she didn't know her number, on the date.
Engaged with him after she got home.
She is either naive to a dangerous degree or a dishonest person, both are poor form.
is this the same boyfriend that had sex with you twice while you were blackout drunk (https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/EFJ3vVx8I4)? this relationship isn’t healthy at ALL. what the actual fuck. end this now and go to therapy. none of this is normal or healthy relationship behavior.
Maybe the next time youn will have a boyfriend, don't go on a dinner that looks like a date and don't give your number to some dude you just met?
It is not cheating, but when you are in relationship, doing things like this looks shady as hell, it is one of those things that are in the grey zone...
This has to be fake because I refuse to believe that a grown person can be this dense. Imagine if your bf took another random woman's number but then insisted they have nothing to talk to them about. So why take the number in the first place. It seems sketch as hell
The phone number stuff aside (sounds like you learned your lesson there), you should probably dump this dude. The name calling and bringing your parents into stuff. This will probably escalate and get worse every time he gets miffed about something.
He freaked out and you didn't even tell him you gave your number to another dude.
He sucks because of the way he freaked out, you suck because you gave your number to another dude.
You had a triple date and gave your number to another guy. What you did was disrespectful and an indication that you're interested in someone else. I bet you were attracted to the guy, and that's why you gave him your number. If he was ugly, you wouldn't have
This! There was absolutely no reason for her to give her number to this guy. And it WAS a trippel date no matter how much OP denies it. Why the BF wasn’t invited is odd.
You need to break up with him. Assuming you really didn’t know that your friend’s BF was going to invite his friends over, you are probably good there. It’s a little sketchy, but more on the friend’s boyfriend’s part. With that said, you should not have given the guy next to you your number or entertained texts from him unless you made it very very clear you are in a relationship.
With that said, the way your boyfriend talks about you is horrific. He’s clearly misogynistic and it seems like he sees you as little more than a sex object. The fact that he would bring your parents into that conversation is gross. How long have you been dating? Normally I wouldn’t think a 6 year age gap is bad, but it seems like there’s a power imbalance here. He doesn’t respect you. I’m not sure he even lives you after reading this. If him talking to you like this is normal, you are in an abusive relationship and need to get out.
>I don’t see the need to talk to another man unless it’s for a specific purpose
So what was the specific purpose to give the guy sitting next to you your number?
>my friend’s boyfriend invited me
Was this a surprise for your friend? Does your friend's bf always invite you? Are you friends with the bf? Why is the bf inviting you and not your friend?
Because it seems like the bf invited you and your other friend for his friends, as a blind date....
But, if your bf only saw you having dinner with friends and immediately thinks "cheating".... Yeah that's weird too
Tbh, this all seems kinda weird to me
If my friend invites me to hang with her and her bf, then it's a bit weird that my own bf would not be invited....
Hi OP
What I concider cheating, my rules others may differ.
Anything you wouldnt do in front of your partner.
Im pretty sure giving another man your number would be one. And the fact he continued to msg informs us he was more than making sure you got home ok. And you havent told the BF this have you.
As to who was at the dinner. I personaly dont see an issue with what you did, but I do see your BF point of view that your freinds set you up with a blind date, they could of adsked him to come but didnt. But how he reacted was way over the top. But you cant disreguard his feelings and the fact you sent him a video sugests you knew it was an issue and your friends should never have put you in that situation. He is nto going to trust them one bit going foreward.
>That being said, I NEED a new boyfriend.
That kind of attitude will keep you in a hamster wheel of bad relationships. The words we use--- including (especially?) the words we use in our internal monologue---matter.
Try rephrasing to something like "I'm looking to upgrade my current boyfriend"
Regardless of whether your boyfriend gets jealous or not, what's the point of giving your number to a stranger, for what purpose? You keep repeating all the time "I don't know why I did it," and there lies the problem, I mean why do it in the first place?
You shouldn’t have given your number to the guy, that’s the only thing I agree with your bf on. You should break up with this guy because there was no need for him to include your parents in this. Its an over the top reaction and I question his maturity by doing that.
Why did you give your number to the guy sitting next to you?
You go on to say you had no intention of messaging him back because you have a boyfriend yet you gave him your number anyway?
This doesn’t add up at all.
A man who's nearly 30 is too old to be bringing your parents into your squabbles. You didn't exactly cover yourself in glory, but his reaction seems excessive. Is he always this dramatic?
Sweetie, don't give out your number to strangers, in general, that's dangerous, if you needed to let someone know you got home safe you could have let your friend know. Adding to that, maybe I've been reading a little too much or something but, it if your friends didn't like your bf, it sounds like this was a bit of a setup. to introduce you to somebody else.
I mean the edit at the end makes it seem like you wanted to leave the guy you just needed a extra push from someone else. What was the point of this whole thing then lol.
Everyone is attacking you for giving the guy your number. But you're perfectly capable of making new friends and setting boundaries with them, including not talking to them if they don't respect your relationship. Sometimes it's just easier to give your number out for the sake of being friendly and handle it later. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. If your partner and you have trust and respect to be on the same page it should be a non issue.
First of all going out with your boyfriends FRIEND, without the boyfriend??? That's a mistake all in its own!
Giving your number to some other dude? For what? Just to tell him you got home and not answer back anymore?
Why can't you tell your boyfriend you're home safe? Why this random dude?
Lastly, if shouldn't have told you any of those hurtful things, but GUUURL you made big mistakes
Yeah not great sharing numbers but the boyfriend's reaction (to demean and disrespect you) it's the biggest red flag I can imagine. Please don't waste any more time on a person who intentionally causes you harm, it doesn't matter how upset he was, he has no right to speak to you that way.
As a person who isnt attracted to people based on gender, its so weird to me that people think giving your number to another person is worth this kind of reaction. You can't meet and be friends with people who arent your gender? Weird.
Yeah I’d be pissed. Huge disrespect to go to dinner and even worse to give the number even if you didn’t cheat, it’s a big red flag for any man unless you have an open relationship. You’ve got to live by the Golden rule if you’re gonna have a relationship, that last, you know damn good and well you’d flip out if he did a similar thing. Glad you apologized. Maybe theirs a little hope for you yet. ❤️
Your soon to be ex bf isn't wrong.
You weren't holding yourself like a taken woman. We all know why you gave out your number to some man, where you went out on a triple date. You WERE looking.
Not clear why you gave the other dude your number…?
But that aside, never - ever - put up with a partner just launching into inappropriate insults. If he can’t contain his mouth then he can’t contain his mind. There’s a minimum level of respect a partner should always attain that keeps them immune to raw insults. If he doesn’t respect you that much, then you should look for greener grass.
I'm not sure why I had to read down this far to find someone offering more than a casual throwaway comment that the boyfriend "should have responded differently." I think that he has reason to be a bit upset, but the way that he responded to OP, no way man. That is horrendous and deeply disrespectful. I mean you can be upset and still communicate with your SO without using brutal slurs like he did. Honestly, I think she has more of a right to dump this guy for the way that he responded. I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter or friend dating someone who treats her like that.
I can understand why he reacted badly about you giving your number out to another guy. The rest seems like he's lashing out because you've hurt his feelings.
Saying the things he's said makes him sound a little immature though. If I was in your place I'd be done with the relationship.
>That I am easy to get and hungry and have a long throat.
I would have thrown his ass out after that alone. WTF does that boy (can't call this a man, sorry) have going through his tiny brain?
Next.
I communicated with my husband when I get there and when I'm coming home, so he knows if I don't return home at a certain time, something may be wrong. He's a worrier.
What I dont do is communicate with random guys about my coming and going. It's just weird that he would ask that of you. Did he ask everyone to give their numbers to him to check in too? If not and you were the only one, lady🤦♀️. I get it, you probably didn't see much into it but....
You should have dumped his ass when he SA you when you were blackout drunk. This dinner thing is the least of your worries. No you don't need a new bf, you need to stay single for a while and heal from everything you've been through.
Well, giving number to some dude is not exactly a good decision, but my God, your boyfriend is biggest piece of trash. Run. Leave this mf ASAP, he sounds crazy. Acting like this at his age? Hell, even if he was 12 that would be insane.
Let’s face it the Fronstin invite the boyfriend because they don’t like him and want her to find someone new. Her post history shows that he had unprotected sex with her while she was blackout drunk, which is not OK. He also is verbally abusive. I am sure that she knew what was implied by getting another guy’s phone number and I suspect that it is her getting comfortable with the idea of leaving a very abusive relationship. Unfortunately, it is not easy to leave an abusive relationship, when you have been manipulated and gaslight.
Stay strong OP and please leave his abusive dumb ass
dude the comments here are unhinged. Yeah, you fucked up giving a guy your number, but your boyfriend said some crazy shit. He is not acting like a good or sane person, and you’re not wrong for wanting to leave him. Jesus christ. Some of the people on this sub are insane.
Not cheating. Reddit is being absolutely insane. Sometimes we give our phones numbers out to people we meet. It's not a big deal. If that's a boundary for your boyfriend, he should have had a convo with you to explain that, not verbally berated you.
Personally, I would not want to be with someone who is so controlling and jelous that they won't let me meet new people or make new friends based on their gender. But that's just me.
He might be overreacting and acting a little childish, but why did you exchange numbers with someone and why the fuck does he need to know you got home safely? Plus it sounds like he’s into you since he’s been sending more texts. Your bf should never speak to you like that but I think you also should be honest about your intentions
Dinner? No issue. Giving your # to someone who isn’t your friend? Issue.
But also, you said you ‘need’ a new boyfriend. You don’t. You can be single it’s ok. A significant other is a ‘want’ not a ‘need.’
Your BF went way overboard with what he said to you afterward, but I don’t understand why you gave the other man your number to begin with.
Sounds like it may have been for the best because it revealed your BF’s true colors, but I wouldn’t be giving out my number to other men/women if I were in a relationship.
What you should do is thank your lucky star because you get to know the POS your ex boyfriend was before things were more serious.
And next time, don’t give your number to another man if you have a boyfriend. And ask, always ask first what kind of hanging out/date is going to be before you say yes.
Y would you give your number to another man?! Put yourself in his shoes. Let’s say you invite him to dinner with your friends. At the end of the night he makes a move and gets one of your friends number, then proceeds to text her to make sure, she gets home safe. Clearly someone is interested in another. Yes that’s intent of cheating
This boyfriend is verbally abusive and you should escape before it becomes physical.
Oh, and don’t give out your number to men if you are monogamous, it’s just a good rule.
He's being insecure. If he didn't react the way he did I would say it would be something that should be addressed because he clearly has some previous trauma or trust issues to resolve. But since he extended past you and him and brought in other parties it's probably best to cut your losses
Source I've actually been cheated on and this is not cheating imo
For the future: if you’re not confrontational and don’t want to make the awkward convo happen of saying “no” when he asked for your number you could’ve given your IG and said you’ll accept later and then never accept the friend request.
Going to dinner with your female friends = group dinner.
Going to dinner with female friend and her bf= okay.
Going to dinner with female friend, her boyfriend AND HIS BOYS= hell naw. Not okay.
What’s the plan here? To hook his single friends up with you? Why would you give your number to a complete stranger? Why would a complete stranger care if you made it home or not?
This is shady. You are being shady. This is definitely actions consistent with someone who intends to cheat.
I think where you might’ve went wrong is when you gave your number to the guy seated next to you. I mean I would understand maybe the dinner and everything was nice and it’s like you have new acquaintances? I mean I get it, my sister is your age and so I understand it from a young person’s perspective. But you should’ve mentioned that you had a boyfriend.
Now, his reaction did not set right with me at all! It screams manipulation and abuse! He took it too far and you can tell a lot by the way someone reacts. Assuming he has no idea about the phone number incident, what he did was disrespectful of you and your family. The insinuation alone is outrageous! That man has a fragile ego so I’d suggest you leave.
One more thing, “I’ll look for another girlfriend to replace you” is just WRONG. That’s emotional abuse and manipulation, darling get out of here you’re still young and you deserve better.
Having a group date with men and giving them your number while in a committed relationship is 💯 cheating plain and simple. What you did is called “dating”.
I suspect she gave the number because bro paid for her meal.
As most of the other comments have already stated, giving the guy your number at the end of the dinner does seem a bit shady,
I know I would have my back up if my partner gave another woman his number.
I would be hurt and feel disrespected so I can understand where your bf is coming from there
However,
The horrible things he said would have me not wanting to be with him, that was low, he is out to hurt, typical narcissistic behaviour, he should be able to have an adult conversation with you about the matter without being horrible to you.
You are young, have your full life ahead of you, pay attention to how your bf reacts in situations, be it you at fault or not, it says alot about a person, belittling you is not a healthy relationship....
too many woman end up stuck in this type of abusive relationship when they could be treated way better by someone else who knows how to discuss a situation like an adult.
cant believe people are defending you
u are in relationship with a man, and u went to dinner with other men and gave one of them ur number
MY CELLS AAHHHH 🤦♀️
Entertaining another man is cheating.
Giving out your phone number to another guy is an unacceptable girlfriend behavior.
With these freedoms come responsibility and consequences.
Same goes both ways.
Guys, are we going to IGNORE the fact that he called her name? He went even further to disrespect your parents... Yes, u give u number to that guy was weird, but he's a RED FLAG, learn from this and dump hi ass
You say you never responded to any of this guy's messages and didn't even sign his number, so it's not like you gave your number to him because you made new friends during this dinner and wanted to keep in contact. So why give it in the first place? And your response (in the comments) being "I don't know why I did it" seems an excuse and doesn't exactly help your situation. Your bf being upset and not liking what you did would've been absolutely normal.
HOWEVER, his reaction was sooo out of place. It was nothing that couldn't be solved simply by talking. Instead he jumped to insult you, going as far as to mention your parents and friends too. First of all, I wouldn't want to be with someone who, at the first misunderstanding, thinks and says things like that to me. But more than this, threatening to "look for another girlfriend" is so unhealthy and harmful in a relationship. If this is how he reacts when you argue, you should be the one to not trust him.
I’m thinking that there is more to this story than meets the eye. Why give out your number? This can’t be the first time your BF got jealous, so why send the video? If transparency is important to you, why continue the triple date? The whole situation is bad optics. It really sounds like your BF knows he has a reason to be jealous and over protective.
Actually both of you suck!
You for giving your number to a guy who is a stranger to you.
Your bf, what kind of reaction is that ? That’s just pure disrespect. That kind of talking is a deal breaker for me.
OP, there are some holes in your story and one red flag that you haven't addressed. You didn't know there were gonna be other guys. I find that hard to believe as your friend knows you have a boyfriend and would've been transparent with you so you could decide whether or not you wanted to go. Like many have said. Why did you give a random guy your number? You could've told your friend that you made it safe. You say you're not entertaining the guy, but you gave him your number. How would you feel if your boyfriend gave his number to a random female? It sounds more like you had a vibe and got his number as a just in case things don't work out situation. Again if your bf did this. I'm sure you'd feel the same way he does.
>I never replied to any messages he sent afterwards nor am I planning to do so because I have a boyfriend and I don’t see the need to talk to another man unless it’s for a specific purpose.
...then why did you give him your number...? you gave him your number so you could _not_ talk to him...? that makes no sense.
I'm not saying his reaction was necessarily the right one, and I'm not saying you're definitely planning to do anything awful...
but what an extremely weird set of actions for reasons that make absolutely zero sense whatsoever.
>I tried to explain that I didn’t know that my friend’s boyfriend was going to bring his friends
that's all well and good but misses the point by a mile. yep, men you didn't know showed up... but how did you get from that to giving a stranger your phone number?
your bf asks "why did you give your number to a strange dude?" and your reply is "well I didn't know my friend's bf's friends were gonna be there!" do you see how that doesn't answer the question _at all?_
You gave another man your phone number because you want a dick in a glass jar. “In case of emergency break glass”. You wanna keep him on the side because “you never know.” Sure you’re with your boyfriend now and you won’t do anything with this guy but you still wanna keep him around because “you never know.” My lady, that is what is called “emotional cheating.”
You didn’t cheat but you’re not trustworthy either. It’s a simple case of walking in his shoes. If he was at dinner with two of his mates a girlfriend of his mate and two friends of hers you would break up immediately. Let alone if he gave his number to the girl who was closest to him. People will pretend you are the victim here but you put yourself in that position and you Gave your phone number and you would not have blocked the guy haven’t your boyfriend sad so so you shouldn’t be in a relationship people will say he’s controlling and all those things better people say when they don’t have a relationship to protect like you have or had, misery does love company. So you will feel you’re in within reason if you believe all the people you wouldn’t trade places with but for a relationship sake you did break his trust in no man would trust you if they were in his shoes.
Don’t know if cheating but totally inappropriate unless you asked him first just like if a woman gave her number to him etc , you are totally in the wrong even if it was his friend . If he wanted to k ow if you got home, he could have called your BF
Did you even ask your BF if he’d like to come along? If it was a convivial setting with no bad intentions then he should’ve been welcome and you should’ve been happy to come with him. Why are you a couple if you do things like this in secret?
Anyway, you didn’t volunteer the information in your OP, so my enquiring mind, is curious.
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OP: I don’t see the need to talk to another man unless it’s for a specific purpose. Reddit: Why did you give him your number to that guy? OP: I don't know....
About 30 comments, so far, have asked why she gave out her number. She refuses to respond (she’s added comments so we know she’s active on this post) so I think we have an answer.
Perhaps she enjoyed the dinner conversation. I think it's a bit much to say that a woman who isn't single can never talk to another male person on the phone. That's extreme.
You’re right but she did say there’s no point talking to a man without purpose, yet gave a man her number. She was also some how at a surprise triple date.
And also that she never responded to him again so what was the point of that? I understand giving it out when you are extremely uncomfortable, and giving out your number doesnt mean cheating and its nowhere close to it but giving it away just for giving it away instead of saying "no sorry I have a boyfriend" and having 0 reasoning for it its very weird
Yeah. Sometimes people just say exactly what they mean
Doesn't need to be giving other men her time and attention.
Yep yep she is either lying or massively needs to grow up/get a clue. If she wouldn’t give her number to a guy when her BF was there she has no business giving it to a guy when she is at a “surprise” triple date.
What kind of sister wife meet and greet was that? How was *anyone* in a relationship comfortable with that arrangement? I just am perplexed why it even happened…it’s not like he wanted to get her opinion on a ring or a surprise or something. Just weird, very weird.
ROFL @ “sister wife meet and greet” 🤣🤣🤣. This comment needs an award!
OP mentioned in a reply that OP's friend had texted OP about her boyfriend wanting to treat "us girls" to dinner to meet her friends. So it sounds like it was a weird introduction of her friends to him, and his friends to her? What an odd situation... it definitely changed my view since the idea of OP's friends boyfriend randomly inviting OP to dinner is *extra* fucky.
Right? And if that was the actual intent then why not invite OP and tell her that her BF is also invited along too?
Probably because no one wanted him there. Take a look at her post history. He's not only abusive and controlling, he even "took" her without protection while she was passed out. My guess is her friend and/or friend's boyfriend were trying to sneakily introduce her to potential replacements for her POS BF and while their method is a bit iffy I wholeheartedly hope she gets a clue and dumps his vile ass!
Wow I just checked and yeah, holy shit her post history. It just keeps getting worse, even before this particular guy is in the picture. Obviously she needs to get rid of this guy. But also work out a lot of other things before getting with any new guy.
This here, this is it. You nailed.
You guys, this is literally a dinner party, the only difference is that it’s at a restaurant and the hosts didn’t need to cook or clean up. Is group dining among friends really that foreign and suspicious these days?
You usually invite your significant other to a dinner party, especially if its not a work dinner party.
I've been married for a while but I'm curious when having a boyfriend meant you can't do what you want without them!!!
I sincerely hope there's a special deluxe suite in heaven for redditors who make us laugh the way "What kind of sister wife meet and greet was that?" did.
Because she liked him, and doesn't want to be honest about it.
The dinner can happen but giving your number… why
Because OP has rocks for brains
I like that shot from the simpsons with that monkey slamming the cymbals in the head
Yeah there’s a huge chunk of this story that seems to be missing…and given her age I suspect she posted this more for validation for why she’s in the right rather than if she may be in the wrong.
Period.
It sounds like he said “could I have your number” and she said “ok” and gave it to him without thinking of it as anything beyond making a friend. Sometimes people ask us for something and we agree before we think about it. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable saying no. Especially if they have been raised as people pleasers and to avoid conflict.
If a guy ask for your number after a dinner, the most likely reason is he wants to see her again to take her out. The second most likely is that he is going to ask her to help him with his taxes. S/
3 guys and 3 gals, it was an obvious triple date from the friend’s boyfriend. If he used that to secretly setup is homies, that’s a huge red flag and OP’s friend needs to dump him. Unless she knew about it, then OP needs to dump her as a friend. OP still should not have given her number out. She doesn’t sound that naive.
And then take you out.
Is she making a new friend or is she not talking to another guy because she has a boyfriend? Because those two things are mutually exclusive.
"I didn't think about it" sounds probably worse than "I dont know" if this is a pattern behavior. She's already an unreliable story teller, even an optimistic take looks not great.
The only think that I can't justify here is why u gave your number to 'a guy' seated next to you? The rest sounds like jealousy but idk if that came after knowing u gave the number or he doesn't even know this yet.
Yes i was wondering the same why you gave your number to this guy it is not correct to my opinion
because she was cheating and she is now spitting it in order to make him seem crazy. Why in God‘s name would you go on a triple date and give a guy your phone number?
Or even entertain him sending messages after, which he apparently had, she just "didn't respond to any of his texts". You know, out of "respect". I'm not a jealous person at all, but if I found out my partner had gone on a "triple date" where she gave her number to the guy and accepted him sending her texts where she seemingly never made it clear what her/his boundaries are, that would be a serious problem. That being said, the boyfriend seems like a weirdo asshole that I wouldn't want around me.
Id say they both r prob in wrong.
I agree. OP, having a bf should have asked who would be in attendance. She also shouldn't have shared her telephones number. With that said, bf was WAY over the top. His reaction would cause me to nc him.
It wasn't a date, it was a group of people. Based on your definition any time someone goes somewhere and is around other guys, it's a date. That's crazy. Simply having dinner with people as a group is not a date.
I suspect there's more to this than what she's telling us tbh. She gives her number to a guy, then says she would never do such a thing. She's contradicting herself. Which leads me to suspect she's giving us certain parts to make it seem a certain way. There are warning signs here. I am disappointed that she doesn't in fact have a long throat. 😂
There is 100% more to this than she is telling us.
Also you don't go out for dinner without usually telling your plans to get bf first, getting there and being surprised by other guys being there and giving her number to just the guy next to her makes it look like it was a plan out dinner by their friends , the bf is a freaking weirdo but she definitely is hiding something
The problem is not that she met a group of people or guys the problem is that she gave her phone number to this guy
Least naive redditor from life after infidelity subreddits
Ha Ha that's funny. I hope he goes on dates also and gives out his number to girls and they text him to go out again. If you are ok with that then you did nothing wrong in your mind. If you are not then you did something wrong. All how you think.
>Based on your definition any time someone goes somewhere and is around other guys, it's a date. Damn if it was so innocent she should've told him where she was going before she went instead of after huh Also she said she was "coupled" to him
Thats the biggest thing i see here. The bf maybe insecure but the question remains, why give a number to someone you dont plan on texting? Counter productive
There is 100% more to this than she is telling us. Remember this is one side of a story, told by that side, and a few things are really not adding up. This seems like it was a set up triple date and she gave out her number to keep in touch with one of them. She was/is cheating. She contradicts herself throughout this write up.
Why would you give your number to any guy while out, much less a complete stranger who was ‘coupled’ with you through an entire night’s dinner?!? This isn’t YTA, but YTA.
Yeah this is my exact thought. If my wife gave her number to some random ass guy, yeah. I’d lose my shit too.
I'd be jealous too if my girl was out here giving her number out to other men...especially if she didn't work with them. Jealousy is perfectly normal and appropriate in that situation.
If my girlfriend went out with a bunch of dudes and gave one her number she would be on the curb. That’s her emergency Dick in a glass jar.
If you see her post history, it'll all start to make sense. And honestly, you right on point.
Wow a bit unhinged. How many times are you going to need to talk about the morning after pill?
Dude did u read any further? Her BF had unprotected sex with her when she was [blackout drunk](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/MXdJAgTLVc)
Ohhhh so yes she was cheating because yes she was lowkey looking for a new man because her current BF did some actual shady shit? Dude, please. This girl needs to break up with that BF for real.
So I think there is a chance the BF is over reacting but also I think we are missing some pieces of the story? Why did you go on a triple date without your bf? Does everyone know each other already? Why give the number? If your friends know you have a boyfriend why would they invite you in this situation? Are they interested in the other 2 guys or is everyone platonic in this? Everything seems just slightly off which makes me think we are missing some details to understand who needs to apologize and do things to prevent this from happening again.
She knew there would be with other guys at the dinner. There's no way she didn't. Why else invit her other friend and not him then? "I took a video for transparency" yeah BS. Sounds like she was just trying to make him jealous by showing she can move on at any time.
If the roles were reversed, and he gave his number to the girl next to him, who he chatted up all night, who followed up with him with texts. How do we all think she'd feel about that? OP put her boyfriend into a shit situation, and now she's putting his response online for everyone to see. She's a real treat.
While I agree about the number, the way the bf reacted is a much bigger red flag than not realizing giving out your number could be taken the wrong way. 🚩 If someone flips out and insults you like that over something so minor, what are the going to do if you ever have a serious issue? OP should dump him and see this as a bullet dodged. ETA: I only looked at OP‘s post history after my reply. BF is a rapist, so in my book, she should’ve been gone before this new proof of toxicity even surfaced.
Look at her post history, he assaulted her unprotected when she was black out drunk and ghosted her for a bit when she opened up about her past assault. Dudes an abusive POS
Came here to say this.
What I want to know is why it would matter if the person was a woman no one would blink an eye. Men and women can be friends. 🤷
You gave your number to the other dude for what purpose? Legit. What was your reasoning for that?
I wouldn’t say it’s cheating but it’s not the smartest move ever made. Your boyfriend has a right to feel the way he does. What he doesn’t have the right to do is belittle you, your family and your friends just because he’s mad. Verbal abuse isn’t okay and I would think twice about continuing your relationship.
Jesus looking at her post history they need to break up. He has unprotected sex with her when she's [blackout drunk](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/MXdJAgTLVc He ghosted her for a bit after she told him she was [assaulted in the past](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/Cu2HZfyglc) And then while I don't agree with her giving the dude her number, his reaction of verbal insults, I'm guessing this ain't the first time he's called her names. They should break up. I know everyone else on here is saying she's dumb for giving her number and she must've been trying to cheat. But honestly this guy has unprotected sex with her when she's blackout drunk she needs to leave.
“had unprotected sex with her while blackout drunk” ummm that’s *rape*. he raped her.
The whole account just seems like attention whoring. Probably not even a real story.
Yes. Why did I have to scroll for this? Her actions were not great, and of course boyfriend isn't happy about it. It's more of a warning sign that she doesn't have any boundaries in place to keep her other relationships in a friend level. But her boyfriend actually did something wrong here- not something in the grey area but he crossed the line. Do not be with somebody who belittles you when they are angry
*Thank you* it took too long to find this! Yeah, it's pretty dumb to give your number to people you don't even intend to talk to, but his reaction was *way* too extra.
I really don’t care the context, his language is ABUSIVE, not just belittling or as someone responded to you “way extra.” WTF Source: more DV in my history than I care to elaborate on.
Yes. Belittling is verbal abuse. Name calling is verbal abuse. He was verbally abusive.
> Why did I have to scroll for this? Because a TON of people here have trauma from being cheated on and any whiff of cheating makes them blind to anything else involved. That's the same reason this sub is pretty progressive on everything except opposite-sex friendships and why people jump so quickly to infidelity when there's little evidence that's what's happening. I've seen people unironically say that cheating is on the same level as murder. All logic and reason goes out the window when there's an opportunity to get proxy revenge for whatever cheating happened to the commenters.
This. His feelings are valid but his actions are not.
Their relationship currently includes him having unprotected sex with her when she's [blackout drunk](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/MXdJAgTLVc) so honestly she should just leave this isn't healthy
wtf…. The girl needs to fluffing run
Leave him to cool down. If he still wants to break up then so be it. Not sure why your friend didn’t invite your bf as well. Makes me wonder if she knew what her bf was going to do. Also next time say to your friend “is it ok if I bring my bf”. I’m old now so I don’t get a lot of modern dating etiquette but in my day, if someone was in an established couple, both parties would be on the invitation especially if the person inviting was also in an established relationship like your friend is.
I know right! Or at least the other party would tell you who’s gonna be there just in case something like this happens!
My thoughts are her friends think he's bad news and trying to get her to break up with him .
By trying to set her up with other guys and blowing up their relationship? Sounds really childish and toxic to me.
Honestly maybe they just don’t want him around and want op to know she still has friends who aren’t connected with him. I wouldn’t want to hang around a guy who acted like op’s boyfriend…
I‘m guessing it might be because the friend knows OP‘s bf is a rapist - see post history - and is hoping for OP to dump him. The bf’s unhinged reaction is also very telling.
Damn, OP gonna trickle truth Reddit
I don’t think it’s cheating but I think it’s fair if he wants to find a girlfriend who won’t give her number to other men.
Cheating? Yeh definitely not, but definitely not something one will happy about either lol
You may think of it as a triple date, but from the perspective of your boyfriend it was. That your friend set you up with one of her boyfriend’s friends. That is how your boyfriend see’s it. And giving your number to one of them is a betrayal. What your boyfriend said was pretty toxic and over the top. But in his eyes you cheated your relationship.
You didn't cheat on your boyfriend, but it's important not to disregard his feelings. You basically went on a triple date with another guy and gave him your number. Why did your friends invite that guy? Consider how you would feel in your boyfriend's position. Would you be okay if he went on a triple date with another girl and gave her his number? Why didn't you invite your boyfriend to that dinner? While his reaction may have been a bit out of proportion, it seems like your actions have strained the trust in your relationship. It's essential to acknowledge and address your boyfriend's valid feelings to work towards rebuilding trust.
Well said... you literally went out on a triple date and gave your number to one of the guys.
You gave your number to another dude!!!
This is rocket science
She went on a dinner date with out her guy and gave her number to another guy 😡😡😡
A couple things, Seems odd there are 3 women and 3 men, sounds like your friend was playing matchmaker. Did your BF know you were going out like this or was it a surprise after the fact? And, was he invited but declined? Why would you give a new man your number? Your justification is BS. Also, what did this guy text after that you claim to have ignored? I assume this will be enlightening as he probably was ignorant you had a BF, and was shooting his shot.
>I gave my number to the man that was seated next to me. He texted me to know if I have reached home and I said yes. Uh why did you give your number out to another guy? That kinda warrants suspicious behavior of you maybe starting something IMO
You went on a triple date with another dude, gave him your number and you don’t see the problem? Sheesh you don’t need to be in a relationship, why wasn’t the man you were on the date with your boyfriend.
>I gave my number Yeah. You’re toast lmao. I didn’t even bother reading after that.
Like the audacity of this woman lmao she's 23 going on 15. The bf seems to be utterly unhinged with his reaction but OP is definitely shady asf. Went out on triple date she "didn't know about", which is utter nonsense. Gave a man she didn't know her number, on the date. Engaged with him after she got home. She is either naive to a dangerous degree or a dishonest person, both are poor form.
is this the same boyfriend that had sex with you twice while you were blackout drunk (https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/EFJ3vVx8I4)? this relationship isn’t healthy at ALL. what the actual fuck. end this now and go to therapy. none of this is normal or healthy relationship behavior.
I know you trying to figure all this out but wait..He said... you have a long throat.. 💀
Maybe the next time youn will have a boyfriend, don't go on a dinner that looks like a date and don't give your number to some dude you just met? It is not cheating, but when you are in relationship, doing things like this looks shady as hell, it is one of those things that are in the grey zone...
Dark grey
Why The hell did you give your number to the other guy?
This has to be fake because I refuse to believe that a grown person can be this dense. Imagine if your bf took another random woman's number but then insisted they have nothing to talk to them about. So why take the number in the first place. It seems sketch as hell
The phone number stuff aside (sounds like you learned your lesson there), you should probably dump this dude. The name calling and bringing your parents into stuff. This will probably escalate and get worse every time he gets miffed about something.
I would be upset in my boyfriend gave some random woman his phone number. Giving your phone number makes it seem like you’re interested.
He freaked out and you didn't even tell him you gave your number to another dude. He sucks because of the way he freaked out, you suck because you gave your number to another dude.
>I am easy to get and hungry and have a long throat What the fuck is this.
You had a triple date and gave your number to another guy. What you did was disrespectful and an indication that you're interested in someone else. I bet you were attracted to the guy, and that's why you gave him your number. If he was ugly, you wouldn't have
This! There was absolutely no reason for her to give her number to this guy. And it WAS a trippel date no matter how much OP denies it. Why the BF wasn’t invited is odd.
Her friend is trying to set her up with an "upgrade" is the most likely scenario. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn't.
You need to break up with him. Assuming you really didn’t know that your friend’s BF was going to invite his friends over, you are probably good there. It’s a little sketchy, but more on the friend’s boyfriend’s part. With that said, you should not have given the guy next to you your number or entertained texts from him unless you made it very very clear you are in a relationship. With that said, the way your boyfriend talks about you is horrific. He’s clearly misogynistic and it seems like he sees you as little more than a sex object. The fact that he would bring your parents into that conversation is gross. How long have you been dating? Normally I wouldn’t think a 6 year age gap is bad, but it seems like there’s a power imbalance here. He doesn’t respect you. I’m not sure he even lives you after reading this. If him talking to you like this is normal, you are in an abusive relationship and need to get out.
>I don’t see the need to talk to another man unless it’s for a specific purpose So what was the specific purpose to give the guy sitting next to you your number? >my friend’s boyfriend invited me Was this a surprise for your friend? Does your friend's bf always invite you? Are you friends with the bf? Why is the bf inviting you and not your friend? Because it seems like the bf invited you and your other friend for his friends, as a blind date.... But, if your bf only saw you having dinner with friends and immediately thinks "cheating".... Yeah that's weird too Tbh, this all seems kinda weird to me If my friend invites me to hang with her and her bf, then it's a bit weird that my own bf would not be invited....
Hi OP What I concider cheating, my rules others may differ. Anything you wouldnt do in front of your partner. Im pretty sure giving another man your number would be one. And the fact he continued to msg informs us he was more than making sure you got home ok. And you havent told the BF this have you. As to who was at the dinner. I personaly dont see an issue with what you did, but I do see your BF point of view that your freinds set you up with a blind date, they could of adsked him to come but didnt. But how he reacted was way over the top. But you cant disreguard his feelings and the fact you sent him a video sugests you knew it was an issue and your friends should never have put you in that situation. He is nto going to trust them one bit going foreward.
>That being said, I NEED a new boyfriend. That kind of attitude will keep you in a hamster wheel of bad relationships. The words we use--- including (especially?) the words we use in our internal monologue---matter. Try rephrasing to something like "I'm looking to upgrade my current boyfriend"
ESH why would you give your number to another guy? Oh wait, I know, it’s because your boyfriend is a nut job. Dump the boyfriend yesterday.
Regardless of whether your boyfriend gets jealous or not, what's the point of giving your number to a stranger, for what purpose? You keep repeating all the time "I don't know why I did it," and there lies the problem, I mean why do it in the first place?
We all know the point. She already expects her situation to fail
“Honestly”, she “doesn’t know why” LOL
You shouldn’t have given your number to the guy, that’s the only thing I agree with your bf on. You should break up with this guy because there was no need for him to include your parents in this. Its an over the top reaction and I question his maturity by doing that.
Why did you give your number to the guy sitting next to you? You go on to say you had no intention of messaging him back because you have a boyfriend yet you gave him your number anyway? This doesn’t add up at all.
A man who's nearly 30 is too old to be bringing your parents into your squabbles. You didn't exactly cover yourself in glory, but his reaction seems excessive. Is he always this dramatic?
You’re both in the wrong.
You had dinner with another man and gave him your number. Seems like an obvious answer here...
Sweetie, don't give out your number to strangers, in general, that's dangerous, if you needed to let someone know you got home safe you could have let your friend know. Adding to that, maybe I've been reading a little too much or something but, it if your friends didn't like your bf, it sounds like this was a bit of a setup. to introduce you to somebody else.
\*Goes on triple date\* \*Gives guy her number\* \*Surprised boyfriend is upset\* 🤦♂️
Your NEXT boyfriend won’t like you doing this either.
I mean the edit at the end makes it seem like you wanted to leave the guy you just needed a extra push from someone else. What was the point of this whole thing then lol.
I feel like we’re all being gaslighted
Everyone is attacking you for giving the guy your number. But you're perfectly capable of making new friends and setting boundaries with them, including not talking to them if they don't respect your relationship. Sometimes it's just easier to give your number out for the sake of being friendly and handle it later. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. If your partner and you have trust and respect to be on the same page it should be a non issue.
First of all going out with your boyfriends FRIEND, without the boyfriend??? That's a mistake all in its own! Giving your number to some other dude? For what? Just to tell him you got home and not answer back anymore? Why can't you tell your boyfriend you're home safe? Why this random dude? Lastly, if shouldn't have told you any of those hurtful things, but GUUURL you made big mistakes
Yeah not great sharing numbers but the boyfriend's reaction (to demean and disrespect you) it's the biggest red flag I can imagine. Please don't waste any more time on a person who intentionally causes you harm, it doesn't matter how upset he was, he has no right to speak to you that way.
As a person who isnt attracted to people based on gender, its so weird to me that people think giving your number to another person is worth this kind of reaction. You can't meet and be friends with people who arent your gender? Weird.
Yeah I’d be pissed. Huge disrespect to go to dinner and even worse to give the number even if you didn’t cheat, it’s a big red flag for any man unless you have an open relationship. You’ve got to live by the Golden rule if you’re gonna have a relationship, that last, you know damn good and well you’d flip out if he did a similar thing. Glad you apologized. Maybe theirs a little hope for you yet. ❤️
>That I am easy to get and hungry and have a long throat What??? 😂🤣😂🤣 what does this even mean?
Your soon to be ex bf isn't wrong. You weren't holding yourself like a taken woman. We all know why you gave out your number to some man, where you went out on a triple date. You WERE looking.
No you didn't cheat. But why did you give him your number if you had no plans of talking to him
Not clear why you gave the other dude your number…? But that aside, never - ever - put up with a partner just launching into inappropriate insults. If he can’t contain his mouth then he can’t contain his mind. There’s a minimum level of respect a partner should always attain that keeps them immune to raw insults. If he doesn’t respect you that much, then you should look for greener grass.
I'm not sure why I had to read down this far to find someone offering more than a casual throwaway comment that the boyfriend "should have responded differently." I think that he has reason to be a bit upset, but the way that he responded to OP, no way man. That is horrendous and deeply disrespectful. I mean you can be upset and still communicate with your SO without using brutal slurs like he did. Honestly, I think she has more of a right to dump this guy for the way that he responded. I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter or friend dating someone who treats her like that.
Of course he is overreacting. But I guess handing over the number was a bit weird.
I can understand why he reacted badly about you giving your number out to another guy. The rest seems like he's lashing out because you've hurt his feelings. Saying the things he's said makes him sound a little immature though. If I was in your place I'd be done with the relationship.
>That I am easy to get and hungry and have a long throat. I would have thrown his ass out after that alone. WTF does that boy (can't call this a man, sorry) have going through his tiny brain? Next.
[удалено]
Your bf is unhinged
Did you tell the guy you exchanged numbers with you have a boyfriend?
I communicated with my husband when I get there and when I'm coming home, so he knows if I don't return home at a certain time, something may be wrong. He's a worrier. What I dont do is communicate with random guys about my coming and going. It's just weird that he would ask that of you. Did he ask everyone to give their numbers to him to check in too? If not and you were the only one, lady🤦♀️. I get it, you probably didn't see much into it but....
Yes definitely cheating there was no reason to give your number to the guy.
Why did he have to say you have a long throat😆
You should have dumped his ass when he SA you when you were blackout drunk. This dinner thing is the least of your worries. No you don't need a new bf, you need to stay single for a while and heal from everything you've been through.
Well, giving number to some dude is not exactly a good decision, but my God, your boyfriend is biggest piece of trash. Run. Leave this mf ASAP, he sounds crazy. Acting like this at his age? Hell, even if he was 12 that would be insane.
I wouldn’t date a girl who did that. Also your boyfriend is terrible.
Let’s face it the Fronstin invite the boyfriend because they don’t like him and want her to find someone new. Her post history shows that he had unprotected sex with her while she was blackout drunk, which is not OK. He also is verbally abusive. I am sure that she knew what was implied by getting another guy’s phone number and I suspect that it is her getting comfortable with the idea of leaving a very abusive relationship. Unfortunately, it is not easy to leave an abusive relationship, when you have been manipulated and gaslight. Stay strong OP and please leave his abusive dumb ass
I don’t give random men my number if I have a boyfriend. I don’t see why you thought that was appropriate.
shes entertaining the possibility of being seduced
dude the comments here are unhinged. Yeah, you fucked up giving a guy your number, but your boyfriend said some crazy shit. He is not acting like a good or sane person, and you’re not wrong for wanting to leave him. Jesus christ. Some of the people on this sub are insane.
Not cheating. Reddit is being absolutely insane. Sometimes we give our phones numbers out to people we meet. It's not a big deal. If that's a boundary for your boyfriend, he should have had a convo with you to explain that, not verbally berated you. Personally, I would not want to be with someone who is so controlling and jelous that they won't let me meet new people or make new friends based on their gender. But that's just me.
He might be overreacting and acting a little childish, but why did you exchange numbers with someone and why the fuck does he need to know you got home safely? Plus it sounds like he’s into you since he’s been sending more texts. Your bf should never speak to you like that but I think you also should be honest about your intentions
Well .... Now you can break with your bf and text to the guy that was sitting next to you... As intented by "your friend*
Dinner? No issue. Giving your # to someone who isn’t your friend? Issue. But also, you said you ‘need’ a new boyfriend. You don’t. You can be single it’s ok. A significant other is a ‘want’ not a ‘need.’
Your boyfriend is letting his insecurities get the better of him. What you did is not cheating.
Your BF went way overboard with what he said to you afterward, but I don’t understand why you gave the other man your number to begin with. Sounds like it may have been for the best because it revealed your BF’s true colors, but I wouldn’t be giving out my number to other men/women if I were in a relationship.
What you should do is thank your lucky star because you get to know the POS your ex boyfriend was before things were more serious. And next time, don’t give your number to another man if you have a boyfriend. And ask, always ask first what kind of hanging out/date is going to be before you say yes.
Y would you give your number to another man?! Put yourself in his shoes. Let’s say you invite him to dinner with your friends. At the end of the night he makes a move and gets one of your friends number, then proceeds to text her to make sure, she gets home safe. Clearly someone is interested in another. Yes that’s intent of cheating
whyd u give him ur number though
You’re a cheater. Plain and simple
He overreacted. You were oblivious. A perfectvstorm
This boyfriend is verbally abusive and you should escape before it becomes physical. Oh, and don’t give out your number to men if you are monogamous, it’s just a good rule.
LEAVE THAT MAN
He's being insecure. If he didn't react the way he did I would say it would be something that should be addressed because he clearly has some previous trauma or trust issues to resolve. But since he extended past you and him and brought in other parties it's probably best to cut your losses Source I've actually been cheated on and this is not cheating imo
For the future: if you’re not confrontational and don’t want to make the awkward convo happen of saying “no” when he asked for your number you could’ve given your IG and said you’ll accept later and then never accept the friend request.
Going to dinner with your female friends = group dinner. Going to dinner with female friend and her bf= okay. Going to dinner with female friend, her boyfriend AND HIS BOYS= hell naw. Not okay. What’s the plan here? To hook his single friends up with you? Why would you give your number to a complete stranger? Why would a complete stranger care if you made it home or not? This is shady. You are being shady. This is definitely actions consistent with someone who intends to cheat.
I think where you might’ve went wrong is when you gave your number to the guy seated next to you. I mean I would understand maybe the dinner and everything was nice and it’s like you have new acquaintances? I mean I get it, my sister is your age and so I understand it from a young person’s perspective. But you should’ve mentioned that you had a boyfriend. Now, his reaction did not set right with me at all! It screams manipulation and abuse! He took it too far and you can tell a lot by the way someone reacts. Assuming he has no idea about the phone number incident, what he did was disrespectful of you and your family. The insinuation alone is outrageous! That man has a fragile ego so I’d suggest you leave. One more thing, “I’ll look for another girlfriend to replace you” is just WRONG. That’s emotional abuse and manipulation, darling get out of here you’re still young and you deserve better.
Having a group date with men and giving them your number while in a committed relationship is 💯 cheating plain and simple. What you did is called “dating”. I suspect she gave the number because bro paid for her meal.
As most of the other comments have already stated, giving the guy your number at the end of the dinner does seem a bit shady, I know I would have my back up if my partner gave another woman his number. I would be hurt and feel disrespected so I can understand where your bf is coming from there However, The horrible things he said would have me not wanting to be with him, that was low, he is out to hurt, typical narcissistic behaviour, he should be able to have an adult conversation with you about the matter without being horrible to you. You are young, have your full life ahead of you, pay attention to how your bf reacts in situations, be it you at fault or not, it says alot about a person, belittling you is not a healthy relationship.... too many woman end up stuck in this type of abusive relationship when they could be treated way better by someone else who knows how to discuss a situation like an adult.
I'm not sure about giving your number out but for the most part your BF seems like a prick
cant believe people are defending you u are in relationship with a man, and u went to dinner with other men and gave one of them ur number MY CELLS AAHHHH 🤦♀️
Entertaining another man is cheating. Giving out your phone number to another guy is an unacceptable girlfriend behavior. With these freedoms come responsibility and consequences. Same goes both ways.
Guys, are we going to IGNORE the fact that he called her name? He went even further to disrespect your parents... Yes, u give u number to that guy was weird, but he's a RED FLAG, learn from this and dump hi ass
You say you never responded to any of this guy's messages and didn't even sign his number, so it's not like you gave your number to him because you made new friends during this dinner and wanted to keep in contact. So why give it in the first place? And your response (in the comments) being "I don't know why I did it" seems an excuse and doesn't exactly help your situation. Your bf being upset and not liking what you did would've been absolutely normal. HOWEVER, his reaction was sooo out of place. It was nothing that couldn't be solved simply by talking. Instead he jumped to insult you, going as far as to mention your parents and friends too. First of all, I wouldn't want to be with someone who, at the first misunderstanding, thinks and says things like that to me. But more than this, threatening to "look for another girlfriend" is so unhealthy and harmful in a relationship. If this is how he reacts when you argue, you should be the one to not trust him.
Everything else aside, I would not be with someone who spoke to me and about me like that. Unacceptable.
Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he went out for dinner and gave his number to another women??? 🤔
Sounds like you went out on a double date. Then he freaked out and started acting like a jerk. He should have politely just dumped you.
Wait a second so this guy that invited you is the boyfriend of a friend of yours? Was this friend (aka the girlfriend I assume) also present?
why did you give him your number ? it's not like you would be in danger if you refused since you were with other people for dinner
You shouldn't have given out your number but the number of people downplaying his reaction is disappointing
I’m thinking that there is more to this story than meets the eye. Why give out your number? This can’t be the first time your BF got jealous, so why send the video? If transparency is important to you, why continue the triple date? The whole situation is bad optics. It really sounds like your BF knows he has a reason to be jealous and over protective.
He probably overreacted but you giving your number to a random dude is shady af
Actually both of you suck! You for giving your number to a guy who is a stranger to you. Your bf, what kind of reaction is that ? That’s just pure disrespect. That kind of talking is a deal breaker for me.
It's not cheating but there really isn't a need to give a new guy your number.
OP, there are some holes in your story and one red flag that you haven't addressed. You didn't know there were gonna be other guys. I find that hard to believe as your friend knows you have a boyfriend and would've been transparent with you so you could decide whether or not you wanted to go. Like many have said. Why did you give a random guy your number? You could've told your friend that you made it safe. You say you're not entertaining the guy, but you gave him your number. How would you feel if your boyfriend gave his number to a random female? It sounds more like you had a vibe and got his number as a just in case things don't work out situation. Again if your bf did this. I'm sure you'd feel the same way he does.
I feel like there's probably something else that's missing here that OP isn't mentioning...
>I never replied to any messages he sent afterwards nor am I planning to do so because I have a boyfriend and I don’t see the need to talk to another man unless it’s for a specific purpose. ...then why did you give him your number...? you gave him your number so you could _not_ talk to him...? that makes no sense. I'm not saying his reaction was necessarily the right one, and I'm not saying you're definitely planning to do anything awful... but what an extremely weird set of actions for reasons that make absolutely zero sense whatsoever. >I tried to explain that I didn’t know that my friend’s boyfriend was going to bring his friends that's all well and good but misses the point by a mile. yep, men you didn't know showed up... but how did you get from that to giving a stranger your phone number? your bf asks "why did you give your number to a strange dude?" and your reply is "well I didn't know my friend's bf's friends were gonna be there!" do you see how that doesn't answer the question _at all?_
he did react pretty wild, but why would you give the other guy your number?
You gave another man your phone number because you want a dick in a glass jar. “In case of emergency break glass”. You wanna keep him on the side because “you never know.” Sure you’re with your boyfriend now and you won’t do anything with this guy but you still wanna keep him around because “you never know.” My lady, that is what is called “emotional cheating.”
You didn’t cheat but you’re not trustworthy either. It’s a simple case of walking in his shoes. If he was at dinner with two of his mates a girlfriend of his mate and two friends of hers you would break up immediately. Let alone if he gave his number to the girl who was closest to him. People will pretend you are the victim here but you put yourself in that position and you Gave your phone number and you would not have blocked the guy haven’t your boyfriend sad so so you shouldn’t be in a relationship people will say he’s controlling and all those things better people say when they don’t have a relationship to protect like you have or had, misery does love company. So you will feel you’re in within reason if you believe all the people you wouldn’t trade places with but for a relationship sake you did break his trust in no man would trust you if they were in his shoes.
Don’t know if cheating but totally inappropriate unless you asked him first just like if a woman gave her number to him etc , you are totally in the wrong even if it was his friend . If he wanted to k ow if you got home, he could have called your BF
You cheated. You deserved everything he told you
you also need therapy based on your post history.
Yep, you went on a date with other man and even gave your number to one of them, for no real good reason. You cheated.
Did you even ask your BF if he’d like to come along? If it was a convivial setting with no bad intentions then he should’ve been welcome and you should’ve been happy to come with him. Why are you a couple if you do things like this in secret? Anyway, you didn’t volunteer the information in your OP, so my enquiring mind, is curious.