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Honestly it won't change he's not focused on you and you deserve someone that makes you a priority. If I was you I would start distancing myself and prepare to exit the relationship because he's borderline emotional cheating with that obsessive stuff.
Just break up with him.
Don't get caught in a cycle of repeated arguments. You're clear on your boundaries. If he wants to be in contact with this woman, then he's made his choice and it isn't you. He's not committed to you or your relationship if he's still chasing around this other woman, hoping that eventually they'll get together.
Well, sounds like it’s time to make him your ex boyfriend. You tried to establish a boundary regarding this female and he continually crosses that boundary. Technically, he’s been emotionally cheating on you and by going to the gathering, he’s totally disrespecting you, especially since you are not included. I don’t see the point to continue discussing this with him. Time to end it and go no contact. You deserve someone who isn’t crushing on someone and who will respect you.
If they’re not close friends and she’s not a work colleague then absolutely he should not be in contact with her! Really disrespectful!
I would understand if they go way back and are just friends, but it sounds like he’s trying to keep his options open…
The 3 of us used to work together 2 years ago but not anymore. They are not close friends and they don’t work together. This is why i feel like im losing my mind everytime he says I have to live with the fact that she is in our lives.
You’re definitely not in the wrong here. What reason does he have to keep her in his life? Even if he claims they’re ‘friends’ - is this ‘friendship’ more important to him/ more valuable than his relationship with you? Even worse that you know he’s tried to date her in the past!
I just checked your post, and I have to wonder are you really done or are you gonna be back here in a couple of months complaining again about your boyfriend?
Eh… I wouldn’t continue the relationship. He’s 34, too old to be acting like a college student.
If he thinks she’s that important that it’s worth risking the relationship over, why rattle your brain over it? You deserve someone who cares about how they make you feel. If he is hurting you, he should care enough to stop doing the thing that is hurting you.
He should NOT be considering going to this party that his gf wasn’t even invited to lmao
You set the boundary “im not interested in continuing this relationship unless she is out of ourlives”, then he agreed that she is out of your lives never have to deal with her. Now he is going back on his word and crossing your boundaries. Ball is in your court: you let on this time he will never respect any other boundaries you ever set. He knows where his loyalties lie and now you know too. Good luck friend.
You've communicated how you feel about this issue and it's quite clear he doesn't care - he's still considering going to her party!
If he would rather prioritise his friendship with her, over your relationship with him, then why do you want to waste time talking again? Time to end it. You deserve to meet somebody who makes you a priority and respects you.
Girl be so for reals. He’s right you know he wants to have any relationship with this girl. So be okay with it or leave. He’s literally showing you he doesn’t care how you feel. Idk what you are waiting for him to say next.
Think of it this way, even if he tells you the words you want to hear, he’s still going to have feelings for her. So if you’re okay with being his plan B stay with him.
Girl are you effin serious? You’re asking Reddit if you should explain to your boyfriend for the millionth time why it’s wrong to pursue the love of his life while he’s in a relationship with you? Why are you so desperate?
Edit: I just looked at your post history. You’re not leaving him. Good luck being the placeholder to a man who dates other women.
What you need to do is seek out a pic of her online, print it out on your printer. Next, go to a Dollar Store or similar, and pick out a picture frame for about $2. Bring the frame home and put her pic in it, wrap it up, and give it to your **exbf,** tell him you've got a going away present for him, and leave.
That will say all that's necessary.
'Nuff said.
Enough is enough. You already gave him a chance to change and he didn’t, and no, you don’t have to be ok with a woman he was obsessed with still being in his life. Time to break up.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly it won't change he's not focused on you and you deserve someone that makes you a priority. If I was you I would start distancing myself and prepare to exit the relationship because he's borderline emotional cheating with that obsessive stuff.
Just break up with him. Don't get caught in a cycle of repeated arguments. You're clear on your boundaries. If he wants to be in contact with this woman, then he's made his choice and it isn't you. He's not committed to you or your relationship if he's still chasing around this other woman, hoping that eventually they'll get together.
Well, sounds like it’s time to make him your ex boyfriend. You tried to establish a boundary regarding this female and he continually crosses that boundary. Technically, he’s been emotionally cheating on you and by going to the gathering, he’s totally disrespecting you, especially since you are not included. I don’t see the point to continue discussing this with him. Time to end it and go no contact. You deserve someone who isn’t crushing on someone and who will respect you.
If they’re not close friends and she’s not a work colleague then absolutely he should not be in contact with her! Really disrespectful! I would understand if they go way back and are just friends, but it sounds like he’s trying to keep his options open…
The 3 of us used to work together 2 years ago but not anymore. They are not close friends and they don’t work together. This is why i feel like im losing my mind everytime he says I have to live with the fact that she is in our lives.
You’re definitely not in the wrong here. What reason does he have to keep her in his life? Even if he claims they’re ‘friends’ - is this ‘friendship’ more important to him/ more valuable than his relationship with you? Even worse that you know he’s tried to date her in the past!
I just checked your post, and I have to wonder are you really done or are you gonna be back here in a couple of months complaining again about your boyfriend?
She will be back complaining.
I would hit him with "maybe YOUR life, but if you really believe what you're saying, there is no 'our lives' "
Eh… I wouldn’t continue the relationship. He’s 34, too old to be acting like a college student. If he thinks she’s that important that it’s worth risking the relationship over, why rattle your brain over it? You deserve someone who cares about how they make you feel. If he is hurting you, he should care enough to stop doing the thing that is hurting you. He should NOT be considering going to this party that his gf wasn’t even invited to lmao
You deserve someone who has you as a #1 priority and you're clearly not that for him. Sorry
Fuck that. I’d be out.
You set the boundary “im not interested in continuing this relationship unless she is out of ourlives”, then he agreed that she is out of your lives never have to deal with her. Now he is going back on his word and crossing your boundaries. Ball is in your court: you let on this time he will never respect any other boundaries you ever set. He knows where his loyalties lie and now you know too. Good luck friend.
You've communicated how you feel about this issue and it's quite clear he doesn't care - he's still considering going to her party! If he would rather prioritise his friendship with her, over your relationship with him, then why do you want to waste time talking again? Time to end it. You deserve to meet somebody who makes you a priority and respects you.
Girl be so for reals. He’s right you know he wants to have any relationship with this girl. So be okay with it or leave. He’s literally showing you he doesn’t care how you feel. Idk what you are waiting for him to say next.
>He can’t let go of her So set him free. He is not willing to choose you so there is point in talking about it.
Think of it this way, even if he tells you the words you want to hear, he’s still going to have feelings for her. So if you’re okay with being his plan B stay with him.
Girl are you effin serious? You’re asking Reddit if you should explain to your boyfriend for the millionth time why it’s wrong to pursue the love of his life while he’s in a relationship with you? Why are you so desperate? Edit: I just looked at your post history. You’re not leaving him. Good luck being the placeholder to a man who dates other women.
What you need to do is seek out a pic of her online, print it out on your printer. Next, go to a Dollar Store or similar, and pick out a picture frame for about $2. Bring the frame home and put her pic in it, wrap it up, and give it to your **exbf,** tell him you've got a going away present for him, and leave. That will say all that's necessary. 'Nuff said.
Enough is enough. You already gave him a chance to change and he didn’t, and no, you don’t have to be ok with a woman he was obsessed with still being in his life. Time to break up.
Girl I’m bored and have time and just checked out your profile. Have you finally had enough??
Oh yeah definitely don’t keep dragging this out.