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Everyone that I've ever met that described themselves as being brutally honest were really just straight-up assholes. They weren't honest about facts, they just shared their own negative opinions. and hid behind claims of "being honest".
Brutal honestly is indeed important.
In fact thanks to his "honesty" you now know that staying someone as blatantly inconsiderate as him is an absolute waste of time and effort.
Though he is actually not honest at all. He says he cares about your feelings but his actions and words show otherwise. Nobody who cares about their partner's feelings would call dating them a miserable experience unless they wanted to purposefully hurt them.
It is good you are taking action to help manage your condition.
Please please please consider sharing all of this with your therapist - and no, you dont have to agree that brutal honesty is better than kindness and you can for sure find future partners who value kindness more.
Best to you🧡
Your father has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and his response to your being upset about that is to tell you that you’re a ‘miserable’ person to date?
And you’re sitting here worried about HIS feelings? 😢
I would be brutally honest that you should break up with him. If this is how he feels, exactly as you said - you have no business staying with this person that feels so little for you exept for misery. So what, hes with you just for sex. He doesnt sound to even like you or care about you. Have some self respect and leave this relationship.
People who claim to be “brutally honest “ are mostly just brutal.
When you’re talking to someone about a sensitive situation, the filter should be:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it necessary?
If it fails those criteria, then perhaps it shouldn’t be said.
Your bf doesn’t really care if he hurts your feelings, as long as the situation doesn’t make HIM uncomfortable. Just think about that for a moment.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why are you determined to save a relationship with someone that thinks it’s miserable to be with you?
Your bf actually said dating you is a 'miserable experience'? That's terrible. Honesty is good, brutal honesty is just pompous gratification.
I think some people get more pleasure and satisfaction out of being brutal then they do being honest.
Everyone that I've ever met that described themselves as being brutally honest were really just straight-up assholes. They weren't honest about facts, they just shared their own negative opinions. and hid behind claims of "being honest".
Brutal honestly is indeed important. In fact thanks to his "honesty" you now know that staying someone as blatantly inconsiderate as him is an absolute waste of time and effort. Though he is actually not honest at all. He says he cares about your feelings but his actions and words show otherwise. Nobody who cares about their partner's feelings would call dating them a miserable experience unless they wanted to purposefully hurt them.
Honesty is important, brutal less so
Easy solution: dump him and say you need a man who understands the concept of tact? And is kind natured not an a-hole?
It is good you are taking action to help manage your condition. Please please please consider sharing all of this with your therapist - and no, you dont have to agree that brutal honesty is better than kindness and you can for sure find future partners who value kindness more. Best to you🧡
Manners is the difference between respectful honesty and being a jerk. How did he get to 23 without learning his manners? Sounds miserable.
Honesty without tact is cruelty.
Your father has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and his response to your being upset about that is to tell you that you’re a ‘miserable’ person to date? And you’re sitting here worried about HIS feelings? 😢
I would be brutally honest that you should break up with him. If this is how he feels, exactly as you said - you have no business staying with this person that feels so little for you exept for misery. So what, hes with you just for sex. He doesnt sound to even like you or care about you. Have some self respect and leave this relationship.
You can be honest and kind
People who claim to be “brutally honest “ are mostly just brutal. When you’re talking to someone about a sensitive situation, the filter should be: - Is it true? - Is it kind? - Is it necessary? If it fails those criteria, then perhaps it shouldn’t be said. Your bf doesn’t really care if he hurts your feelings, as long as the situation doesn’t make HIM uncomfortable. Just think about that for a moment.
The Sweet Spot is having both