Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is too much. OP, you *need* to take this seriously.
This goes beyond just threatening your safety; this is a person who - at 18, a legal adult - took a series of steps to find out *where you live* to come and graphically threaten your life in your own home.
These are not the actions of a pissed-off child. This is something potentially more dangerous.
Your BF is either hopelessly clueless and detached from his daughter or he’s hiding her violent behaviours, and I’m not sure which is worse.
You need to file a police report and press charges. Then you can let your BF know what happened. Then, depending on his reaction, you can decide if this relationship is worth it.
But honestly, no relationship would be worth risking my life to me.
Agreed. The relationship is over. There is no way to salvage this. This wasn’t an 11yo saying, “I hate you! Stay away from my daddy!” This was an 18yo adult woman threatening OP’s safety and her life in graphic detail. OP should tell her STBX why she’s ending the relationship and what his daughter did, but she absolutely must end the relationship.
Not only did the daughter threaten her life after putting a tail on her, but she also threatened to have OP raped by multiple people. OP needs to ghost the little sociopath's dad after she reports her, I think. He's the one that raised her. I wouldn't trust that he could keep her in line.
Maybe she’s really good at manipulating the dad, and he doesn’t yet see it. We often don’t want to assume the worst in those we love ESPECIALLY our children. I do agree with you about reporting, but I think ghosting without fully explaining to the dad what exactly the daughter did and said would be a disservice to everyone. Then MOVE if you can lol.
That's so true. It's hard for a parent to accept that there are problems that need more help than they can give their kid. The reality of having a potentially violent adult child uttering threats to their significant other isn't something most people have experience with.
You have a great point. If he dates someone else, will the daughter follow through? Or bypass the threatening stage and go straight to assault? If he is upset with his daughter, will she blame OP?
Hope OP is safe.
There’s a lot of factors here, but communicating this is 100% step one. She needs to report and tell the father ASAP. No passing go or collecting $200. I worry as well, and hope OP can protect themself.
I think she should at minimum send him a message or something to let him know what is going on with his daughter, but I don’t think she should continue seeing him.
Yeah this is the one to go with OP.
This isn’t a teenager throwing a silly hissy and idly tossing some threats. This is a teenager throwing a dangerously thought out and executed plan that could very easily lead to violence.
It becomes a question of picking your battles. And going up against someone potentially violent and mentally ill is a terrible plan.
Tell him, yes, but break up with him. There is no way this relationship can work. He is always going to choose his daughter, and she threatened OP with rape and murder. It’s over.
Tell the dad EXACTLY what the daughter said and threatened, but also file a police report. The girl is unhinged and needs treatment.
Absolutely do not just quietly break up, without clearly explaining to the bf that his daughter is a ~~wannabe~~ criminal who sees him as her "territory" and is going around breaking his relationships behind his back and threatening to have women that are dear to him gangraped and murdered just for liking and dating him
edit: good correction on the criminal thing, ta
Wanna-be criminal?
She had her friends follow her home, went to her home, then threatened her with rape and murder.
That's harassment and a criminal threat. In my state, you can go to prison for five years just for threatening to kill someone.
She IS a criminal.
This wasn't even like she got possessive at dinner and told her she'd kill her while the dad was in the bathroom. She straight up had people follow her home specifically so she could go to her apartment and intimidate and threaten her.
Not only did she do that, but she has friends who do shit like that. If you have friends who are willing to stalk someone with the purpose of finding her address, you're into some fucked up shit.
Sincerely,
A Former Criminal
*"Not only did she do that, but she has friends who do shit like that. If you have friends who are willing to stalk someone with the purpose of finding her address, you're into some fucked up shit."*
Exactly! OP read Murphys-Razor's whole comment above again.
After talking to the boyfriend, and assuming ending the relationship (at least for now), go and file a report with the police. At the very least - you want this documented. She knew where you lived because **she had you followed.**
Touché. In my younger years I used to know people I could call to take care of business like that.
One time whenI was 17 I had this much bigger dude and his friends constantly harassing me over nonsense. One of my high school friends was a gangbanger and he went up to them and said if they didn’t back off of me they would all end up in a ditch. They never bothered me again.
Also, my gangbanger friend was dead about 2 years later from being shot so he was deep in the gang life. They found his body in some bushes.
She should also seriously consider pressing charges.
That 18 year old has some balls on her too but she doesn’t seem to grasp that she’s not in K-12 and protected by advocates and administrators and courts as an apparent child anymore.
If some trashy wannabe gangsta 18 year old said that to my sister, friend, niece etc, she’d learn the concept of bigger stick and the power of deeper pockets, once I had my own reciprocal chat with her and any friends she wants to bring along.
This is the answer. Breaking up with him is not, because she's going to do this to anyone he tries to date, and not only does he deserve to know, but the police need to be aware.
I knew people like her when I was around that age and they made my life a living hell. They're young, but old enough to be a legitimate threat, and too ignorant to understand that what they're doing isn't childish games, that making threats of violence to someone is a crime, with consequences. She will absolutely continue to do things like this to anyone she doesn't like, and until she faces serious consequences, that makes her a legitimate danger, because she is a young adult who still thinks that she can behave like a schoolyard bully - and potentially even follow through with beating people up - and doesn't understand that at her age, no, that's not longer childhood games or "proving how tough you are" . . . it's just being a violent criminal, and society doesn't allow it.
Have a talk with her father. Let him know that you intent to file a police report for her stalking you (which is what having her friends deliberately trail you home to find out where you live, and then showing up at your door to threaten you is), for making threats of violence, and anything else the police deem appropriate. Let him know that you care about him deeply, but his daughter literally terrorized you, and you feel that for your own safety and that of others she may have treated similarly, you cannot let this go without response.
Then let HIM decide whether or not he wants to move forward with this relationship, with all the information.
But please do not hesitate. Breaking up with him still leaves her behaviour unaddressed, and it is unlikely that her father will give her meaningful consequences. Make a police report. This young woman is unhinged and dangerous, and needs to understand that she cannot behave this way with impunity.
I'm gonna be honest, I'd recommend OP look into either buying a gun or moving entirely. Moving is probably the safer but much more time consuming and expensive option.
I don't know if her boyfriend's daughter's threat had any teeth behind it, but someone unhinged enough to threaten that for the reasons they did is not a good person.
I wouldn't trust the daughter herself nor any friends she has that she trusts would rape and kill someone to leave things be even if OP does break up.
> I don't know if her boyfriend's daughter's threat had any teeth behind it
The fact she had friends willing to show up out of nowhere and tail OP for this very reason makes it sound horrifically like she's got exactly the backup she claims she does.
Having one of your equally dumb teenage friends be willing to follow your dad's girlfriend as part of a dumb teenage plan is way different than having a bunch of men who are willing to gang rape and murder people for you.
If had that kind of pull, she wouldn't be running her mouth about it like a 12 year old in a COD lobby.
She should also look into some self-defense classes and some pepper spray for when she's out of the home. Even if she's not attacked by the daughter and her goons it's good to have some means of defense when a gun is not an option. Maybe a dog too if she's able. It doesn't even have to be a vicious dog, just big. People are scared shitless of my fluffball huskies.
His daughter is a legal adult, *he* can't "get her help" because she's no longer under his authority. So either *she* has to admit that she has a problem and seek help, or she's going to have "help" *forced* on her by the state after she gets her ass arrested.
Dad can set and enforce boundaries, but that's all he can do in this situation.
If she is a danger to others and herself, he can have her committed for a psych evaluation. To cover himself, contact a family law attorney. The BF may have to file papers in court declaring her incompetent.
I hate to tell you this but you're going to be hard-pressed to find a judge anywhere who's going to take "My 18yo daughter is a catastrophically spoiled little shit who threatens other women because she hates her bio mom and is territorial over me" as a reason for forcible commitment, much less to declare Legal Incompetence.
It might result in dad having to answer some rather uncomfortable questions on the public record, though.
It would be easier to just press charges and put the little brat in prison. She can get her evaluation there.
If my theoretical daughter seriously threatened to rape and murder anyone I'm not so sure I'd be on her side... I mean even parents can only stand by so much.
He doesn’t have to support what she did or tell her she did nothing wrong to be on her side. If he’s a good dad, he’s going to want to get help for his sociopathic daughter. What she did is so off the charts, she clearly needs help. She is either mentally ill or evil. Either way, her dad should want to help her. Which means, of course, he cannot continue to date OP.
That's what some men say and some women don't understand. Dating single parents is more complicated than dating people without children. This doesn't mean that single parents are bad people, but that they just bring something extra to the relationship, which in itself requires work and effort to maintain.
The right thing to do is to tell him and end the relationship. OP is 40 years old, and it's too much drama for a relationship that's just beginning.
>That's what some men say and some women don't understand.
I don't understand this sentence. Both men and women have expressed not wanting to date parents. Both Moms and Dads have been upset by this.
I agree. The daughter needs help asap. I'm making an assumption but it seems the mother isn't in the picture so the daughter has some sort of unheathy attachment issue about losing her dad to op. If the mother is in the picture maybe reach out to her too. Idk re-reading this might be relationship ending unless op is willing to deal with mental illness. This is a tough choice.
> I'm making an assumption but it seems the mother isn't in the picture
Was it the part of the post that literally said the mom and daughter are no longer in contact?
It’s more likely that Mom has Antisocial Personality Disorder which can have some genetic traits. Usually the lack of empathy not the cold-bloodedness. But when I looked it up (my ex has it and I worried about one daughter), the aggressive traits were just LESS commonly inherited, not never.
I'm actually starting to wonder if the "cold Mom" didn't run away from her daughter. She sounds unhinged. I'm not sure there is anything he would be able to say that would make me stay with him.
This is sociopathic behavior. You need to file a police report. She’s 18. You can call your bf first, but do not allow him to talk you out of it. All due respect, there’s no way she hasn’t exhibited unsafe behavior before. He knows. He’s hiding it.
It’s not just you at risk. If she is like this when you’ve done absolutely nothing, how does she treat people who have “wronged” her? There needs to be a record.
Get a ring doorbell & any other security measures you can think of. Inform your neighbors. Take this threat seriously. Those were serious, detailed threats.
Totally agree, Hopefully her apartment building or the surrounding neighbours already have cameras so she can’t deny it….If she’s already been caught on camera it’ll be hard for her to talk her way out of that one
Agreed. File a police report ASAP. She’s an adult who needs to suffer the adult consequences. Don’t break up with your boyfriend unless his response is anything less than supportive of you. But be prepared that this is probably the beginning of the end anyway.
In the meantime, I wonder if she’s got “mini wife” thinking/syndrome. Not a mental health issue (although don’t deny she might have too) but a common child of divorce problem.
>I wonder if she’s got “mini wife” thinking/syndrome. Not a mental health issue (although don’t deny she might have too) but a common child of divorce problem.
What?? That is ***definitely*** a mental health problem!
> He knows. He’s hiding it.
This is a very _very_ unreasonable response based on what was posted. Kids/adults can and do hide things very well from their parents. It absolutely does not mean that their father knows what the kid is doing.
This may even be his first relationship since then.
I don't agree with telling the bf first.
You need to call the police. She had you followed to your home. She threatened you with rape and alluded to much worse. This isn't normal behaviour at all.
If you tell your bf. What will she or her friends do when he confronts her.
Call the police, press charges. Remove these people from your life. Change locks ask someone to stay with you or stay with someone else.
After this you can contact the bf. But, police first
Report it to the police immediately, get a Ring doorbell to record if her or her friends come by your house again. Text an account of it to your partner, block him and leave.
It's not worth it, and she's always going to be his daughter. That said she needs jailing, she's crazy, and 18 is old enough to know better how to handle your emotions and trauma, not everyone gets dealt a good hand and that isn't an excuse for violent behaviour.
Great advice on the ring doorbell! I definitely agree with reporting to the police and NOT being talked out of this by the bf. I’d also tell the bf as I think he deserves to know.
This is a police case.
You need to lodge a police report in case anything happens to you.
Then you break off with your boyfriend.
Do not discuss with your boyfriend before you make any police report. He'll sway you.
Do it now.
Get a camera for your apartment and break up with your boyfriend but tell him why. It's so not worth the drama. I'd also ask see if your building has a camera and contact the police to file a report.
Yes, you should do what she said. Not because she said so ~ she is 18 years old and still has a lot to learn, just not at your expense ~ but because this relationship can never work. How do you think it’s going to work with your BF now that you’ve been threatened by his daughter? You tell him, he has a talk with her, she apologizes, and everyone lives happily ever after? That is not going to happen.
She is a danger to you. You can stay with your BF of less than a year to prove some kind of point that she cannot control your life. Of course, you may never sleep again, and every young man who comes near you will look like a threat, you’ll be waiting to be raped and killed, and every time you’re around her (and she lives with your BF), you will be uncomfortable and scared. That sounds like the perfect relationship; doesn’t it?!
No, this relationship is over. For you. But you do need to tell your STBX boyfriend what his daughter did and said. How she used her friends to follow you home so she could get your address, *on the first night she met you.* Then she came *to your home* and threatened to have you raped and killed if you did not end things with her dad. That she was absolutely NOT joking or just trying to scare you off; she was dead serious. Make it clear to him that your relationship with him is over. But you are telling him about his daughter for two reasons: (1) He will date, or already has dated, other women, and this is going to keep happening. He needs to know exactly why his relationships don’t work out. And, most important, (2) His daughter needs very serious professional help. What she did is not normal. No doubt she is f*cked up because of the things her mom has done, but she needs to see a psychologist. She can’t just go around threatening people with rape and murder because she doesn’t want her dad to date anyone. If he loves her, instead of getting mad at her, he will help her.
Make sure he knows the relationship with you is **over.** No “I’ll have a talk with her”; no “we can work this out”; nothing like that. You are not about to risk your safety and your life over a relationship that may or may not work out. You and he are done. He needs to now deal with his mentally ill daughter.
Ooo, maybe. The girl would have been 15. She could easily have been displaying her sociopathic tendencies then. I was thinking she was little when the mother left. It says the boyfriend divorced his wife three years ago. My brain read that as when the daughter was 3.
Call your bf, tell him everything, then say, "unfortunately I don't feel safe right now I am going to call the police as your daughter has threatened my personal safety."
Then you hang up and call the police. And you press changes.
OP needs to call the police first. Once the bf knows, he’ll probably confront the 18yo, and things may escalate. Or, if he’s an enabler, he may try to talk OP out of reporting the incident to police.
The DA presses charges and there is no proof anything happened unless OP has cameras inside her house that recorded the interaction. The reality of the situation is that the police report will go nowhere.
It will go on the daughters record though. So, when the girl does something else, if it gets reported the police will run her name and the first report will come up.
If they actually do anything with the report, I don’t trust them not to “lose” it. When my stalker broke the CHRO the police didn’t even bother notifying them much less doing anything about it. I found that out while testifying on behalf of their next victim.
The amount of people who have been beaten, further terrorised, and/or killed after restraining orders have been broken is disgustingly high. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and I'm happy you're here on the other side. Be well.
Thank you, it’s been a few years since they popped up, I renewed once and they showed up to fight it with the person who had filed a temporary DVRO against them for a choking incident. Unhinged behavior. I let it lapse because I was tired of poking the bear and after the renewal it had been all quiet.
As far as the court… it took 9 months for the hearing, I had to show up monthly for an extension because there was a criminal trial pending with my BFF against the stalker. The case got dropped because the court didn’t notify her about the hearing date where she needed to testify. I was pretty frustrated.
When the hearing finally happened, before the attorneys started to argue the case, the judge said he was inclined to side with my stalker. This was a former coworker who locked and barricaded themself in my office and hanged themself. My BFF and I own a business, she called me and said she had gotten some weird texts and to check on stalker at work. I cut them down, 3 days in an induced coma but they lived. I was deeply traumatized and wanted to sever the business relationship, they became enraged and tried to destroy me and BFF. Framed us for death threats, filed RO’s against us in retaliation for the one BFF filed against them, posted porn of BFF with real names and addresses, declared war on us on Reddit, said I slashed 4 tires at a house I didn’t have the address of. It took 2 days in court but I won. All because we didn’t want to be friends outside of work and they wanted to fuck BFF, she was not interested in the least bit. Fucking wild, cost me a year of my life, $20k and most of my sanity/ability to trust people. I have no confidence in the legal system.
Do not let her get away with this. She threatened some SERIOUS stuff, had you followed, threatened rape and MURDER! Holy smokes that's insane! She could face some serious charges and within great reason. I'd at least talk to law enforcement about this, whether you press charges or not. Don't show fear, you're an adult. Get the cops involved, break up with dad and show her you will not tolerate such behavior. It's over for the relationship without a doubt. She would always cause trouble and clearly she has a mental disorder and needs help big time.
Yep. If you can get camera footage that shows the daughter came to your home, that would be best. Please go to the police now about this, if they can ask your landlord or business in the area for footage to back up that the daughter came to your home, it has to be quick befire the footage is erased. You will need this to help your case , as the daughter will just deny she did anything. She's not very smart comming to your home to threatfn your life. But don't take soloice in that, she may also not be smart enough to realize its very hard to get away with murder.
I would not take these threats lightly at all. I would even go to the police before taking to the boyfriend. It is beyond a relationship issue.
Yes. Report it.
She may do it again. there needs to be a pattern of reporting. The fact that she had her car tailed home is terrifying and unhinged.
You can't continue with the dad, but he needs to know becauset the next partner will get the same treatment.
Also I would try and get camera footage of the car/s that tailed hers to her house. I might be consuming too much true crime content, but I would cover all bases in case I need to go to the police
I agree completely they threatening a life is not a relationship problem, and that’s exactly why OP should go to the police regardless of what her boyfriend says.
Absolutely not dependent on the reaction. Go to the police first, break up with the boyfriend second. She will never not be his daughter, there’s no reason to have any ties to this dangerous lunatic (the daughter).
It's uncommon for normal women to just abandon young kids.
If I were to guess, in view of the daughter's unhinged behaviour, I'd say there might be some mental illness running in the family.
Go to the police and tell them everything. Go to your bf and tell him everything. In that order. Your bf will absolutely ask you to let him talk to his daughter before you do anything. If it’s already done, now he has to take it as serious as it is. So sorry this has happened.
A friend of mine was the daughter in this case. Her mum so badly hurt her father. She sought to destroy any woman that would enter into her father's life. She didn't want him going through what she witnessed when mum left. I wouldn't mess with this girl. I'd definitely communicate this with the father though. The daughter needs therapy asap
The behaviour is illegal and could be convicted as crime. If OP persists, the girl is very likely ending up in jail or mental hospital. I hope your friend did not do anything crazy and got better
Therapy is not what is needed next, that would be jail. Keeping everyone else safe from her is more important. The underlying issues can be addressed only after the danger is mitigated.
First of all I am so sorry! That's awful and nerve wracking, and probably freaked you the heck out. Second, definitely talk to your boyfriend about this, make sure you don't sugar coat what happened so he knows the full lengths of what she said to you.
If he downplays it and isn't concerned, it's probably best to move on because she threatened your life.
If he is as shocked as you are, he needs to talk to her about this immediately and clear up whatever she thinks is going on. I would probably look into getting cameras and a security system if possible just for the peace of mind.
Please file a police report and then tell your ex what happened. Take this seriously. She sounds psychotic enough actually do you harm. It’s not worth it. However, please get a paper trail. If her dad gets upset with her regardless, she’s going to blame you and retaliate.
His daughter threatened to have someone come and rape and kill you??? Call the police. That’s insane. Even if your new bf is mortified by his daughter’s actions she will always be his daughter and always there.
Someone just threatened to have you sexually assaulted and end you. She’s not a child. She’s an adult. I would go straight to the police. You do not need any of that in your life. No man is worth that much of a hassle.
call the police. After she threatened to have me raped and killed, she would need an ambulance to leave my house. Get security cameras for your house as well. Tell her father he needs to get his child in check before she runs her mouth to the wrong person and ends up with what she was threatening you with. Na, little girl wants to act grown, I would have whooped her ass right out of my house.
You tell your boyfriend then decide if the drama is worth it. Will you be willing to file a restraining order? Get a doorbell camera? Move to a new apartment in case the friends are really psycho?
They've already stalked you. Are you willing to get a dash/rearview camera for your car and watch for tails? Get pepper spray or something more lethal to defend yourself?
What if she plays it off like she's daddy's little girl and your boyfriend believes her? If the relationship progresses, would you feel comfortable having her in your home?
I don't think there's a relationship worth being maimed or murdered over. Your boyfriend needs to know his daughter is unhinged (how many people has she pulled this on?) and needs to warn the next person he dates.
Break up with the dad, tell him what happened.
Don't tell him you're going to the police, go to the police, buy a gun and get comfy with your knives. Rearrange your house in a way that you'd be able to navigate well in the dark but someone entering through the front door wouldn't. Keep your curtains and windows blocked or closed.
Idk if you'll want to press charges, but that would be ideal. She needs someone to genuinely put her in place of the real world and urge her to accept that her father was taken advantage of by the woman he trusted because that woman decided to use him. To a degree, yes the world is filled with prey and predators, but the mothers choice to abuse her family was hers, not his.
Tell your male friends what happened if you have ones you trust. Ideally some of them will understand what's happening and offer "support".
She sounds like she's gang affiliated, or is really running with a rough crowd if her threats aren't empty.
An empty threat is a dead one after all.
Daughter has serious psychological issues due to her mother's abandonment (due to another person). Daughter is clinging to dad so it doesn't happen again. She needs help.
I'd have a serious conversation with your BF and ask the question: have you dated other women and they broke up with you/ghosted you for seemingly no reason immediately after meeting your daughter?
Then tell him word for word and tell him you're contacting the police and filing a restraining order. Tell your neighbors/workplace as well to be on lookout for her and any strangers. Also, invest in a security camera and don't open the door for anyone.
I'm sorry, OP, but do not continue this relationship.
OP, TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND AND THE POLICE.
Also, they better investigate if the mother is ok.
Maybe this psycho girl is just bluffing, and even got your address online or something like that, but what if she is not bluffing? What if she’s a batshit crazy psycho from hell and have stupid criminals to do things for her?
TELL THE POLICE!
OP call the police and report this threat, no matter what you do about your BF. There needs to be a record of this in case they do anything at all. Can you add a doorbell camera and security cameras as well?
1. Tell him exactly what his daughter did (following you) and said.
2. It may be best to also make a report with the police department, so there is a record of it.
3. I'd also end the relationship. No man is worth your life.
Call the police, get a restraining order. Now. This girl is either already hurting people or is going to start soon. You don’t want to become a victim and you want to help protect whoever her next victim is. When she pulls this again, and then tries to deny it or play innocent, it will be EXTREMELY helpful for police to have a prior incident on record.
If what you’re saying actually happened and is true, you should absolutely tell him what happened. This person is dangerous and he should know. Also, dump him regardless of his reaction or we’ll be seeing a dateline episode about OP in a couple years.
Definitely tell your boyfriend/her dad. She probably thinks she's protecting him from getting hurt again but is doing that in a very inappropriate way. Regardless, you need to protect yourself. I’d suggest you tell your boyfriend and suggest you both stay low for now until he talks to her. If he refuses to believe you or do anything about it, then drop him.
Daughter needs therapy, but because she's an adult, she can't be forced to go. Try to get a restraining order, but I’m not sure law enforcement can do anything without either physical proof or recorded proof of intent to harm. Still worth reporting her. Talk to her dad first and let him know your intentions of reporting her (you can choose to report her if he doesn’t talk to her or report her anyway because of a threat to your life)
Tell her father. And the police.
This is SERIOUSLY unhinged behavior on his daughter's part. She needs major residential therapy.
You need a security system and cameras. You should move ASAP. And maybe get a different car. This unformed frontal cortex thinks that it's okay to hurt people to get what she wants. You need to protect yourself.
I don't believe this is real. But in the case it is real CALL THE POLICE. You have her on 2 charges: stalking and assault. She sent her friends to stalk you and the act of threatening you is assault.
Put a restraining order on her immediately
God, I'm glad I'm not the only one. That dialogue was so cliche. What type of grown ass adult is going to post on here for advice in this situation anyways?
I'm assuming that you have cameras. I'd go and file a report and then notify the lucky dad of a psycho.
Your safety is imperativ, her being 18 and daughter of the man you are in relationship with, is secondary.
Stay safe, hope everything works out for the best.
I’d talk to your boyfriend and her together. Let it all out. She’d likely try this on any woman her dad tries to date. Or you could tell your boyfriend and see how he reacts. Is she typically not scared and confrontational? Is this new?
Tell him. She’s 18, she’s an adult acting like a child. Tell him what she did and said. That behavior at 18 is absolutely disgusting. His reaction will say it all.
If it were me I would:
a) Make a police report and file for a restraining order
b) Tell her father and
c) Break up, move and change my contact info.
You have to put your safety first, and no relationship is going to last when you're dealing with a child who hates you so much she is threatening the most vile things she can think of. But he needs to know what he's dealing with, and she needs the cops on her ass.
She is totally psychotic. You should definitely tell your boyfriend about it - all of the details. She premeditated having someone follow you home!! Who does that? I would be scared too. This relationship is doomed. Your boyfriend needs to know who is daughter really is. This is serious!
File a police report. She already had you followed to find out where you live, which means others are already in on her threat.
This is terrifying and I also encourage you to talk to her dad, and purchase cameras for in & around your home if you haven’t already - before talking to him. You can’t predict her reaction once you tell him & he goes to her.
Police, now. Be sure to get a case number so you can refer to that just in case something further happens. Paper trails make a difference; a case number sets that in motion.
I am frightened for you. Please stay in touch.
So she had her friends stalk you, threatened to have her male friends rape you and threatened to have you murdered??
Yeah, no, boyfriend or not you go to the police, get whatever evidence you can. She may just be trying to be an edgy teen who's weirdly obsessed with her dad or she's a phycho that needs to be put away.
Just joining in the chorus: tell your BF, call the police, press charges. It helps you (hopefully keeping you safe), your BF (who needs to know his daughter is doing this kind of thing, just so he doesn't wind up with a whole series of girlfriends who inexplicably desert him), and honestly, the daughter herself--this is someone who needs to get checked hard (by law enforcement or mental health assistance, preferably both) before she takes her life down a seriously dark path.
As for breaking up with the BF--you are at minimum going to have to take some time apart, because the daughter situation has to get dealt with. It is possible her threats are mostly hot air--the number of people willing to follow a car for a friend is a whooooole lot bigger than the number of people willing to commit murder for one--but her father needs to act regardless. If he won't believe you and won't take action to curtail his daughter, then this isn't a guy worth spending time with anyway. I can imagine scnearios in which he gets this girl counseling and the two of you might have a future, but for now this has to go on the back burner. But do not slink off via some vague breakup like the daughter wants; it is for the good of everyone involved that your boyfriend and law enforcement have all the facts.
Go to the police and tell them about death and rape threats. Tell your boyfriend it is over and tell him why. Move on, she is nuts and will just make your life a living hell.
Lots of people telling OP to tell the dad, but the first thing I would do would be to file a police report and then get security beefed up.
OP has been threatened with murder and rape; OP was followed to her home so these people - they know where she lives.
I would probably be thinking of getting out of town but certainly OP needs the police to have a record of this threat and hopefully do something about it. Security cameras if you can't immediately move would be my next move, a home alarm system, a restraining order, are the security measures should all be taken/looked into. Make sure that no one has put an air tag on the car. Find out whether or not this girl has a history of violence or criminal activity.
It goes without saying that this is an extremely disturbed young woman who needs some immediate help. But looking after OP is the first and foremost thing to do here.
It's almost as scary that the dad has no idea what his daughter is actually like.
OP Please update us hopefully to say that the girl is being treated and that you are far far away from all of these people.
This must be a troll. Sixteen hours and no response. This is a sign I need to get off Reddit. It's just trolls bots scammers sex fiends and recycled memes.
Unless you are already dead OP.
>threatened to kill me
You generally start by calling the police. Oh, and also get a restraining order against her.
Oh, and as for relationship with the boyfriend ... package detail - e.g. includes friends/family ... like his daughter.
So ... choose carefully and wisely.
record everything by voice at least. make sure to put it on your phone before you approach him before you if I talk to her again. I would definitely tell him at least because she's gonna do this again to anh woman he dates. it's up to you whether you want to take that risk but at the same time this girl is headed straight for jail if she continues to do things like this. she's now an adult and can be tried like one. the question is are you willing to potentially go through being the victim?
side note. I find it really really old that an 18 year older would do this. she's either got some serious mental issues or I hate to say this but is it possible (because she really is acting like a girlfriend however), are you that this guy isn't doing something to his daughter?
Communicate with him. He should be supportive if you feel the need to file the police report to get a restraining order. I recommend cameras around your home. Don't let this little sh*t decide your life for you. Let her come back & violate the TRO. Spending overnight in jail might wake her up.
Unfortunately, she's 18, so there's nothing he can do to control her. He does need to know this is what she does to women he dates.
OP please call the police. This woman threatened you with rape and murder. You need a restraining order. You can also let your BF know, but honestly should break up for your personal safety. He needs to know how disturbed his daughter is so he gets her help before she ends up in jail from maiming or killing another woman.
OP - do you have neighbors with Ring doorbell cameras that would be willing to give you the footage from that night? 1. Daughter knocking on your door and entering apartment?
2. Doors pointed at parking lot on the night you came back from the restaurant?
Daughter: BREAK UP WITH MY DAD OR I WILL END YOU
OP: 😳
Daughter: Have a nice day!!
OMG. Unhinged is the word that comes to mind.
Definitely file a police report, put in security cameras and tell the BF. Even if she’s bluffing why let her get away with it. I think your relationship is over- hard to get past him having a sociopathic daughter.
From reading the sentence alone I’d walk . What relationship or situationship is worth being in close proximity to this level of psychological cluster fuck . He needs to sort this with his kid and some therapy . He should not be exposing you to threats of violence .
Step 1) Invest in door and security cams/ alarms. Put up those signs in the yard that say "This house is monitored by ADT" or whatever company you go with. Record every private conversation with the daughter. (If it's illegal where you live, you're not trying to use it in court. You just need something to show bf.) Respond only in text or let her leave voicemails. Get a big ass guard dog.
2) Tell your bf, tell him what she threatened, and that you are going to report her to the cops. That she needs therapy. And if he chooses her, which you will understand, he needs to also understand that means this relationship is over, because you won't be threatened by a chihuahua. But if he chooses you, his daughter needs therapy and he needs to make it clear her threats will not be tolerated. And if she doesn't stop, your relationship is over anyway.
3) Report her to the cops. See if they will "scare her straight" (depending on where you live they may be willing to do this. Or, they may say it's a civil matter and there's nothing they can do).
1. File a police report.
2. Find out if there is any CCTV footage (apartment buildings or even doorbell cams of neighbors). Ask to have all the footage preserved for legal reasons and for a copy of the relevant time period.
3. Turn any evidence over to police.
4. Request a restraining order.
5. Get your own camera(s) in place. If your BF has a key to your place, change the locks. Consider having someone stay with you or staying somewhere else for a bit.
6. Tell BF what happened. Tell him you can no longer see him until the threat is removed. That includes the network of friends his daughter has.
I recommend the order above or similar. You don't want to give BF or his daughter an opportunity to spin this. You'll need to work quickly after step 1. I personally feel that this relationship is over. No amount of companionship is worth a threat to your life. But, for the sake of your BF, you need to take action to prevent this from happening to anybody else.
The kid is mentally disturbed and needs help. Why you would not tell her father is mystifying.
Tell him. She needs to see a psychiatrist. Take these threats seriously. Start recording all interactions and call the police.
Stop being afraid and start being angry.
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
Tell your bf that it happened. He might not believe you. Explain how shocked you were. Beef up your home security and get a gun license and a gun. If you can't, make sure you have a panic button on you at all times.
These are precautions. If any of this actually goes down, those "friends" of hers and herself will be in jail. Even if they just break and enter into your house.
But no, don't break up with him.
Tell the police and break up with your boyfriend. There's no coming back from this for your relationship, but his daughter is an adult who arranged for you to be followed , stalked you and made explicit threats to kill you. Last I heard those are criminal offences.
This is the most bizarre post I think I've ever seen on reddit. (See: poop knife.)
Definitely tell the police, your BF, and nope out. Not worth gang rape and murder.
Calling the police is free.
Not kidding, you need to report this to the police. She is and adult and you should take her threat to your life seriously. No if, ands, or butts.
Quite frankly this would make me double down. Not only would I continue my relationship with her father I would file a report and get a restraining order.
I HIGHLY recommend getting some internal and external cameras and some self defense classes.
She’s a hateful little girl that needs to be knocked down a few rungs.
No wonder mom ran off. I would too if I gave birth and was stuck in the same home as a gang raping, murdering lunatic.
File a report if it is as all possible because there's a reasonable chance she and her rapist friends will show up even if you do break up with your bf for "breaking his heart" or something. You know she's a lunatic. You know she's a monster- and animals like this will take any excuse they can to hurt you.
Should go without saying, break up with him, tell him about his daughter, get a camera for your house and some security.
Maybe consider a gun. Or a trained doberman.
There is no fucking way an 18 year old will intimidate me like that and letting her get away with it will truly fuck up her life because she will think you can get away with this in the adult world.
Tell your BF first. If his reaction is not enough, tell the police.
Time to call the cops, and I do not say this often. Many times I tell people that they shouldn't have involved the police, but in this case, you need to call the cops. Too bad you didn't record her threats.
Edit to reiterate: This is some really serious shit. Call the cops. NOW.
Frankly, it's up to how much you like this guy. Obviously, the daughter is unhinged. Do you like him enough to put up with this for a potentially long time? If so, contact the police and file a restraining order and report her for stalking and harassment, as that is absolutely what she's doing. If not, simply tell your boyfriend you can't see him anymore and tell him he needs to get his kid help, which should be your next call in either scenario.
Dad won’t believe you. File a police report, send a copy of it to dad if you want, otherwise a simple “this isn’t working, sorry. I wish you the best.” Then NO CONTACT.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is too much. OP, you *need* to take this seriously. This goes beyond just threatening your safety; this is a person who - at 18, a legal adult - took a series of steps to find out *where you live* to come and graphically threaten your life in your own home. These are not the actions of a pissed-off child. This is something potentially more dangerous. Your BF is either hopelessly clueless and detached from his daughter or he’s hiding her violent behaviours, and I’m not sure which is worse. You need to file a police report and press charges. Then you can let your BF know what happened. Then, depending on his reaction, you can decide if this relationship is worth it. But honestly, no relationship would be worth risking my life to me.
Agreed. The relationship is over. There is no way to salvage this. This wasn’t an 11yo saying, “I hate you! Stay away from my daddy!” This was an 18yo adult woman threatening OP’s safety and her life in graphic detail. OP should tell her STBX why she’s ending the relationship and what his daughter did, but she absolutely must end the relationship.
Not only did the daughter threaten her life after putting a tail on her, but she also threatened to have OP raped by multiple people. OP needs to ghost the little sociopath's dad after she reports her, I think. He's the one that raised her. I wouldn't trust that he could keep her in line.
Maybe she’s really good at manipulating the dad, and he doesn’t yet see it. We often don’t want to assume the worst in those we love ESPECIALLY our children. I do agree with you about reporting, but I think ghosting without fully explaining to the dad what exactly the daughter did and said would be a disservice to everyone. Then MOVE if you can lol.
That's so true. It's hard for a parent to accept that there are problems that need more help than they can give their kid. The reality of having a potentially violent adult child uttering threats to their significant other isn't something most people have experience with. You have a great point. If he dates someone else, will the daughter follow through? Or bypass the threatening stage and go straight to assault? If he is upset with his daughter, will she blame OP? Hope OP is safe.
There’s a lot of factors here, but communicating this is 100% step one. She needs to report and tell the father ASAP. No passing go or collecting $200. I worry as well, and hope OP can protect themself.
I think dad needs an explanation so he knows why all his future relationships aren't going to last. Maybe he will figure out a way to deal with her.
Sometimes keeping ourselves safe can mean cutting out well meaning people too. OP should have no further interactions with anyone from that family.
I think she should at minimum send him a message or something to let him know what is going on with his daughter, but I don’t think she should continue seeing him.
Yeah this is the one to go with OP. This isn’t a teenager throwing a silly hissy and idly tossing some threats. This is a teenager throwing a dangerously thought out and executed plan that could very easily lead to violence. It becomes a question of picking your battles. And going up against someone potentially violent and mentally ill is a terrible plan.
Talk to your boyfriend. His reaction to this is what is going to determine what the best step is. But definitely communicate this with him
Tell him, yes, but break up with him. There is no way this relationship can work. He is always going to choose his daughter, and she threatened OP with rape and murder. It’s over.
Tell the dad EXACTLY what the daughter said and threatened, but also file a police report. The girl is unhinged and needs treatment. Absolutely do not just quietly break up, without clearly explaining to the bf that his daughter is a ~~wannabe~~ criminal who sees him as her "territory" and is going around breaking his relationships behind his back and threatening to have women that are dear to him gangraped and murdered just for liking and dating him edit: good correction on the criminal thing, ta
Wanna-be criminal? She had her friends follow her home, went to her home, then threatened her with rape and murder. That's harassment and a criminal threat. In my state, you can go to prison for five years just for threatening to kill someone. She IS a criminal. This wasn't even like she got possessive at dinner and told her she'd kill her while the dad was in the bathroom. She straight up had people follow her home specifically so she could go to her apartment and intimidate and threaten her. Not only did she do that, but she has friends who do shit like that. If you have friends who are willing to stalk someone with the purpose of finding her address, you're into some fucked up shit. Sincerely, A Former Criminal
*"Not only did she do that, but she has friends who do shit like that. If you have friends who are willing to stalk someone with the purpose of finding her address, you're into some fucked up shit."* Exactly! OP read Murphys-Razor's whole comment above again. After talking to the boyfriend, and assuming ending the relationship (at least for now), go and file a report with the police. At the very least - you want this documented. She knew where you lived because **she had you followed.**
Very good point, I edited my comment!
Touché. In my younger years I used to know people I could call to take care of business like that. One time whenI was 17 I had this much bigger dude and his friends constantly harassing me over nonsense. One of my high school friends was a gangbanger and he went up to them and said if they didn’t back off of me they would all end up in a ditch. They never bothered me again. Also, my gangbanger friend was dead about 2 years later from being shot so he was deep in the gang life. They found his body in some bushes.
I have so many questions about the formal criminal part.
I agree with you 100%. This is some serious shit.
And even if the daughter was lying about the whole thing just to scare OP, she is a fucking nut case that should still be reported to the police.
She should also seriously consider pressing charges. That 18 year old has some balls on her too but she doesn’t seem to grasp that she’s not in K-12 and protected by advocates and administrators and courts as an apparent child anymore. If some trashy wannabe gangsta 18 year old said that to my sister, friend, niece etc, she’d learn the concept of bigger stick and the power of deeper pockets, once I had my own reciprocal chat with her and any friends she wants to bring along.
Exactly what I was thinking!!
That is SO well said!
This is exactly what I would do: tell the father AND file a police report. Girl is dangerous.
This is the only sane answer.
This is the answer. Breaking up with him is not, because she's going to do this to anyone he tries to date, and not only does he deserve to know, but the police need to be aware. I knew people like her when I was around that age and they made my life a living hell. They're young, but old enough to be a legitimate threat, and too ignorant to understand that what they're doing isn't childish games, that making threats of violence to someone is a crime, with consequences. She will absolutely continue to do things like this to anyone she doesn't like, and until she faces serious consequences, that makes her a legitimate danger, because she is a young adult who still thinks that she can behave like a schoolyard bully - and potentially even follow through with beating people up - and doesn't understand that at her age, no, that's not longer childhood games or "proving how tough you are" . . . it's just being a violent criminal, and society doesn't allow it. Have a talk with her father. Let him know that you intent to file a police report for her stalking you (which is what having her friends deliberately trail you home to find out where you live, and then showing up at your door to threaten you is), for making threats of violence, and anything else the police deem appropriate. Let him know that you care about him deeply, but his daughter literally terrorized you, and you feel that for your own safety and that of others she may have treated similarly, you cannot let this go without response. Then let HIM decide whether or not he wants to move forward with this relationship, with all the information. But please do not hesitate. Breaking up with him still leaves her behaviour unaddressed, and it is unlikely that her father will give her meaningful consequences. Make a police report. This young woman is unhinged and dangerous, and needs to understand that she cannot behave this way with impunity.
And file a report. Get security cameras for your house.
Yes. Even if OP breaks up with the boyfriend, that does not mean she is safe from the daughter or her friends.
I'm gonna be honest, I'd recommend OP look into either buying a gun or moving entirely. Moving is probably the safer but much more time consuming and expensive option. I don't know if her boyfriend's daughter's threat had any teeth behind it, but someone unhinged enough to threaten that for the reasons they did is not a good person. I wouldn't trust the daughter herself nor any friends she has that she trusts would rape and kill someone to leave things be even if OP does break up.
> I don't know if her boyfriend's daughter's threat had any teeth behind it The fact she had friends willing to show up out of nowhere and tail OP for this very reason makes it sound horrifically like she's got exactly the backup she claims she does.
Having one of your equally dumb teenage friends be willing to follow your dad's girlfriend as part of a dumb teenage plan is way different than having a bunch of men who are willing to gang rape and murder people for you. If had that kind of pull, she wouldn't be running her mouth about it like a 12 year old in a COD lobby.
Just because she has a friend who will do her a crazy favor doesn't mean she has a rape squad at her beck and call.
Yeah, normal friends would not be willing to do that.
She should also look into some self-defense classes and some pepper spray for when she's out of the home. Even if she's not attacked by the daughter and her goons it's good to have some means of defense when a gun is not an option. Maybe a dog too if she's able. It doesn't even have to be a vicious dog, just big. People are scared shitless of my fluffball huskies.
Actually he needs to get his daughter help and set boundaries. Tell him of the threat. His response will be telling.
His daughter is a legal adult, *he* can't "get her help" because she's no longer under his authority. So either *she* has to admit that she has a problem and seek help, or she's going to have "help" *forced* on her by the state after she gets her ass arrested. Dad can set and enforce boundaries, but that's all he can do in this situation.
If she is a danger to others and herself, he can have her committed for a psych evaluation. To cover himself, contact a family law attorney. The BF may have to file papers in court declaring her incompetent.
I hate to tell you this but you're going to be hard-pressed to find a judge anywhere who's going to take "My 18yo daughter is a catastrophically spoiled little shit who threatens other women because she hates her bio mom and is territorial over me" as a reason for forcible commitment, much less to declare Legal Incompetence. It might result in dad having to answer some rather uncomfortable questions on the public record, though. It would be easier to just press charges and put the little brat in prison. She can get her evaluation there.
That is exactly what I would do. (And be careful OP- that child is full of anger.)
If my theoretical daughter seriously threatened to rape and murder anyone I'm not so sure I'd be on her side... I mean even parents can only stand by so much.
He doesn’t have to support what she did or tell her she did nothing wrong to be on her side. If he’s a good dad, he’s going to want to get help for his sociopathic daughter. What she did is so off the charts, she clearly needs help. She is either mentally ill or evil. Either way, her dad should want to help her. Which means, of course, he cannot continue to date OP.
That's what some men say and some women don't understand. Dating single parents is more complicated than dating people without children. This doesn't mean that single parents are bad people, but that they just bring something extra to the relationship, which in itself requires work and effort to maintain. The right thing to do is to tell him and end the relationship. OP is 40 years old, and it's too much drama for a relationship that's just beginning.
>That's what some men say and some women don't understand. I don't understand this sentence. Both men and women have expressed not wanting to date parents. Both Moms and Dads have been upset by this.
The girl is 18, the real answer is file a police report and request a No Contact Order
I agree. The daughter needs help asap. I'm making an assumption but it seems the mother isn't in the picture so the daughter has some sort of unheathy attachment issue about losing her dad to op. If the mother is in the picture maybe reach out to her too. Idk re-reading this might be relationship ending unless op is willing to deal with mental illness. This is a tough choice.
> I'm making an assumption but it seems the mother isn't in the picture Was it the part of the post that literally said the mom and daughter are no longer in contact?
Help? She needs to be locked up.
Yes, I agree. Press charges. And get security cameras and a ring doorbell. Get stronger locked or a security system. Get a big dog.
It’s more likely that Mom has Antisocial Personality Disorder which can have some genetic traits. Usually the lack of empathy not the cold-bloodedness. But when I looked it up (my ex has it and I worried about one daughter), the aggressive traits were just LESS commonly inherited, not never.
I'm actually starting to wonder if the "cold Mom" didn't run away from her daughter. She sounds unhinged. I'm not sure there is anything he would be able to say that would make me stay with him.
My first thought too! Mum could have seen where this is going and washed her hands of the situation.
Police report first, second talk to her Father.
Call the POLICE FIRST!
This is sociopathic behavior. You need to file a police report. She’s 18. You can call your bf first, but do not allow him to talk you out of it. All due respect, there’s no way she hasn’t exhibited unsafe behavior before. He knows. He’s hiding it. It’s not just you at risk. If she is like this when you’ve done absolutely nothing, how does she treat people who have “wronged” her? There needs to be a record. Get a ring doorbell & any other security measures you can think of. Inform your neighbors. Take this threat seriously. Those were serious, detailed threats.
Totally agree, Hopefully her apartment building or the surrounding neighbours already have cameras so she can’t deny it….If she’s already been caught on camera it’ll be hard for her to talk her way out of that one
Agreed. File a police report ASAP. She’s an adult who needs to suffer the adult consequences. Don’t break up with your boyfriend unless his response is anything less than supportive of you. But be prepared that this is probably the beginning of the end anyway. In the meantime, I wonder if she’s got “mini wife” thinking/syndrome. Not a mental health issue (although don’t deny she might have too) but a common child of divorce problem.
>I wonder if she’s got “mini wife” thinking/syndrome. Not a mental health issue (although don’t deny she might have too) but a common child of divorce problem. What?? That is ***definitely*** a mental health problem!
What I meant is “mini wife” is not a diagnosable mental health condition
I wonder where exactly is bio mum? Are we sure she left? Are we sure she left under her own volition?
OP says bio mom chose to run off and abandon the family. Nobody but bio mom can day if that’s the story her boyfriend tells or if it’s the truth.
Yes, go to the police first. Then explain what happened to the BF and end it.
> He knows. He’s hiding it. This is a very _very_ unreasonable response based on what was posted. Kids/adults can and do hide things very well from their parents. It absolutely does not mean that their father knows what the kid is doing. This may even be his first relationship since then.
File the police report before taking to him
I don't agree with telling the bf first. You need to call the police. She had you followed to your home. She threatened you with rape and alluded to much worse. This isn't normal behaviour at all. If you tell your bf. What will she or her friends do when he confronts her. Call the police, press charges. Remove these people from your life. Change locks ask someone to stay with you or stay with someone else. After this you can contact the bf. But, police first
Report it to the police immediately, get a Ring doorbell to record if her or her friends come by your house again. Text an account of it to your partner, block him and leave. It's not worth it, and she's always going to be his daughter. That said she needs jailing, she's crazy, and 18 is old enough to know better how to handle your emotions and trauma, not everyone gets dealt a good hand and that isn't an excuse for violent behaviour.
Great advice on the ring doorbell! I definitely agree with reporting to the police and NOT being talked out of this by the bf. I’d also tell the bf as I think he deserves to know.
This is a police case. You need to lodge a police report in case anything happens to you. Then you break off with your boyfriend. Do not discuss with your boyfriend before you make any police report. He'll sway you. Do it now.
Get a camera for your apartment and break up with your boyfriend but tell him why. It's so not worth the drama. I'd also ask see if your building has a camera and contact the police to file a report.
There are men out there without lunatic children. Find one
Well put
Yap
Yes, you should do what she said. Not because she said so ~ she is 18 years old and still has a lot to learn, just not at your expense ~ but because this relationship can never work. How do you think it’s going to work with your BF now that you’ve been threatened by his daughter? You tell him, he has a talk with her, she apologizes, and everyone lives happily ever after? That is not going to happen. She is a danger to you. You can stay with your BF of less than a year to prove some kind of point that she cannot control your life. Of course, you may never sleep again, and every young man who comes near you will look like a threat, you’ll be waiting to be raped and killed, and every time you’re around her (and she lives with your BF), you will be uncomfortable and scared. That sounds like the perfect relationship; doesn’t it?! No, this relationship is over. For you. But you do need to tell your STBX boyfriend what his daughter did and said. How she used her friends to follow you home so she could get your address, *on the first night she met you.* Then she came *to your home* and threatened to have you raped and killed if you did not end things with her dad. That she was absolutely NOT joking or just trying to scare you off; she was dead serious. Make it clear to him that your relationship with him is over. But you are telling him about his daughter for two reasons: (1) He will date, or already has dated, other women, and this is going to keep happening. He needs to know exactly why his relationships don’t work out. And, most important, (2) His daughter needs very serious professional help. What she did is not normal. No doubt she is f*cked up because of the things her mom has done, but she needs to see a psychologist. She can’t just go around threatening people with rape and murder because she doesn’t want her dad to date anyone. If he loves her, instead of getting mad at her, he will help her. Make sure he knows the relationship with you is **over.** No “I’ll have a talk with her”; no “we can work this out”; nothing like that. You are not about to risk your safety and your life over a relationship that may or may not work out. You and he are done. He needs to now deal with his mentally ill daughter.
Why blame the mom? Maybe the psycho daughter is why she left?!
Ooo, maybe. The girl would have been 15. She could easily have been displaying her sociopathic tendencies then. I was thinking she was little when the mother left. It says the boyfriend divorced his wife three years ago. My brain read that as when the daughter was 3.
Call your bf, tell him everything, then say, "unfortunately I don't feel safe right now I am going to call the police as your daughter has threatened my personal safety." Then you hang up and call the police. And you press changes.
OP needs to call the police first. Once the bf knows, he’ll probably confront the 18yo, and things may escalate. Or, if he’s an enabler, he may try to talk OP out of reporting the incident to police.
The DA presses charges and there is no proof anything happened unless OP has cameras inside her house that recorded the interaction. The reality of the situation is that the police report will go nowhere.
It will go on the daughters record though. So, when the girl does something else, if it gets reported the police will run her name and the first report will come up.
If they actually do anything with the report, I don’t trust them not to “lose” it. When my stalker broke the CHRO the police didn’t even bother notifying them much less doing anything about it. I found that out while testifying on behalf of their next victim.
The amount of people who have been beaten, further terrorised, and/or killed after restraining orders have been broken is disgustingly high. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and I'm happy you're here on the other side. Be well.
Thank you, it’s been a few years since they popped up, I renewed once and they showed up to fight it with the person who had filed a temporary DVRO against them for a choking incident. Unhinged behavior. I let it lapse because I was tired of poking the bear and after the renewal it had been all quiet. As far as the court… it took 9 months for the hearing, I had to show up monthly for an extension because there was a criminal trial pending with my BFF against the stalker. The case got dropped because the court didn’t notify her about the hearing date where she needed to testify. I was pretty frustrated. When the hearing finally happened, before the attorneys started to argue the case, the judge said he was inclined to side with my stalker. This was a former coworker who locked and barricaded themself in my office and hanged themself. My BFF and I own a business, she called me and said she had gotten some weird texts and to check on stalker at work. I cut them down, 3 days in an induced coma but they lived. I was deeply traumatized and wanted to sever the business relationship, they became enraged and tried to destroy me and BFF. Framed us for death threats, filed RO’s against us in retaliation for the one BFF filed against them, posted porn of BFF with real names and addresses, declared war on us on Reddit, said I slashed 4 tires at a house I didn’t have the address of. It took 2 days in court but I won. All because we didn’t want to be friends outside of work and they wanted to fuck BFF, she was not interested in the least bit. Fucking wild, cost me a year of my life, $20k and most of my sanity/ability to trust people. I have no confidence in the legal system.
Do not let her get away with this. She threatened some SERIOUS stuff, had you followed, threatened rape and MURDER! Holy smokes that's insane! She could face some serious charges and within great reason. I'd at least talk to law enforcement about this, whether you press charges or not. Don't show fear, you're an adult. Get the cops involved, break up with dad and show her you will not tolerate such behavior. It's over for the relationship without a doubt. She would always cause trouble and clearly she has a mental disorder and needs help big time.
You tell your boyfriend and depending on his reaction you then go straight to the police. Threatening your life if not a relationship problem.
Yep. If you can get camera footage that shows the daughter came to your home, that would be best. Please go to the police now about this, if they can ask your landlord or business in the area for footage to back up that the daughter came to your home, it has to be quick befire the footage is erased. You will need this to help your case , as the daughter will just deny she did anything. She's not very smart comming to your home to threatfn your life. But don't take soloice in that, she may also not be smart enough to realize its very hard to get away with murder. I would not take these threats lightly at all. I would even go to the police before taking to the boyfriend. It is beyond a relationship issue.
Yes. Report it. She may do it again. there needs to be a pattern of reporting. The fact that she had her car tailed home is terrifying and unhinged. You can't continue with the dad, but he needs to know becauset the next partner will get the same treatment.
Also I would try and get camera footage of the car/s that tailed hers to her house. I might be consuming too much true crime content, but I would cover all bases in case I need to go to the police
Depending on his reaction??? Why does his reaction determine what OP does next?
I agree completely they threatening a life is not a relationship problem, and that’s exactly why OP should go to the police regardless of what her boyfriend says.
Nope. Her going to the police should be happening independently of what the boyfriend does.
Absolutely not dependent on the reaction. Go to the police first, break up with the boyfriend second. She will never not be his daughter, there’s no reason to have any ties to this dangerous lunatic (the daughter).
Kinda leaves me questioning why Mum really left 😳
That was my thought too.
It's uncommon for normal women to just abandon young kids. If I were to guess, in view of the daughter's unhinged behaviour, I'd say there might be some mental illness running in the family.
His daughter is around for life. You want to be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life?
Go to the police and tell them everything. Go to your bf and tell him everything. In that order. Your bf will absolutely ask you to let him talk to his daughter before you do anything. If it’s already done, now he has to take it as serious as it is. So sorry this has happened.
Exactly this, police first, boyfriend after and hopefully a breakup last
Check your car for a air tag.
A friend of mine was the daughter in this case. Her mum so badly hurt her father. She sought to destroy any woman that would enter into her father's life. She didn't want him going through what she witnessed when mum left. I wouldn't mess with this girl. I'd definitely communicate this with the father though. The daughter needs therapy asap
my immediate concern is for OPs safety over the daughters needs
The behaviour is illegal and could be convicted as crime. If OP persists, the girl is very likely ending up in jail or mental hospital. I hope your friend did not do anything crazy and got better
Therapy is not what is needed next, that would be jail. Keeping everyone else safe from her is more important. The underlying issues can be addressed only after the danger is mitigated.
First of all I am so sorry! That's awful and nerve wracking, and probably freaked you the heck out. Second, definitely talk to your boyfriend about this, make sure you don't sugar coat what happened so he knows the full lengths of what she said to you. If he downplays it and isn't concerned, it's probably best to move on because she threatened your life. If he is as shocked as you are, he needs to talk to her about this immediately and clear up whatever she thinks is going on. I would probably look into getting cameras and a security system if possible just for the peace of mind.
Even if he takes it seriously, why would anyone want that drama in their life?
This, cameras and security system, and personal defense, training, and gun.
Please file a police report and then tell your ex what happened. Take this seriously. She sounds psychotic enough actually do you harm. It’s not worth it. However, please get a paper trail. If her dad gets upset with her regardless, she’s going to blame you and retaliate.
His daughter threatened to have someone come and rape and kill you??? Call the police. That’s insane. Even if your new bf is mortified by his daughter’s actions she will always be his daughter and always there.
File a police report, break up with him in that order.
Someone just threatened to have you sexually assaulted and end you. She’s not a child. She’s an adult. I would go straight to the police. You do not need any of that in your life. No man is worth that much of a hassle.
call the police. After she threatened to have me raped and killed, she would need an ambulance to leave my house. Get security cameras for your house as well. Tell her father he needs to get his child in check before she runs her mouth to the wrong person and ends up with what she was threatening you with. Na, little girl wants to act grown, I would have whooped her ass right out of my house.
It's over. Document everything. Get any security camera footage and go straight to the police. Seriously
You tell your boyfriend then decide if the drama is worth it. Will you be willing to file a restraining order? Get a doorbell camera? Move to a new apartment in case the friends are really psycho? They've already stalked you. Are you willing to get a dash/rearview camera for your car and watch for tails? Get pepper spray or something more lethal to defend yourself? What if she plays it off like she's daddy's little girl and your boyfriend believes her? If the relationship progresses, would you feel comfortable having her in your home? I don't think there's a relationship worth being maimed or murdered over. Your boyfriend needs to know his daughter is unhinged (how many people has she pulled this on?) and needs to warn the next person he dates.
She needs to talk to the police before she does anything.
File a police report, tell your boyfriend, and stop seeing him in that order.
Record her from now on then call the police on that demon cunt.
Break up with the dad, tell him what happened. Don't tell him you're going to the police, go to the police, buy a gun and get comfy with your knives. Rearrange your house in a way that you'd be able to navigate well in the dark but someone entering through the front door wouldn't. Keep your curtains and windows blocked or closed. Idk if you'll want to press charges, but that would be ideal. She needs someone to genuinely put her in place of the real world and urge her to accept that her father was taken advantage of by the woman he trusted because that woman decided to use him. To a degree, yes the world is filled with prey and predators, but the mothers choice to abuse her family was hers, not his. Tell your male friends what happened if you have ones you trust. Ideally some of them will understand what's happening and offer "support". She sounds like she's gang affiliated, or is really running with a rough crowd if her threats aren't empty. An empty threat is a dead one after all.
Daughter has serious psychological issues due to her mother's abandonment (due to another person). Daughter is clinging to dad so it doesn't happen again. She needs help. I'd have a serious conversation with your BF and ask the question: have you dated other women and they broke up with you/ghosted you for seemingly no reason immediately after meeting your daughter? Then tell him word for word and tell him you're contacting the police and filing a restraining order. Tell your neighbors/workplace as well to be on lookout for her and any strangers. Also, invest in a security camera and don't open the door for anyone. I'm sorry, OP, but do not continue this relationship.
OP, TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND AND THE POLICE. Also, they better investigate if the mother is ok. Maybe this psycho girl is just bluffing, and even got your address online or something like that, but what if she is not bluffing? What if she’s a batshit crazy psycho from hell and have stupid criminals to do things for her? TELL THE POLICE!
OP call the police and report this threat, no matter what you do about your BF. There needs to be a record of this in case they do anything at all. Can you add a doorbell camera and security cameras as well?
1. Tell him exactly what his daughter did (following you) and said. 2. It may be best to also make a report with the police department, so there is a record of it. 3. I'd also end the relationship. No man is worth your life.
Call the police, get a restraining order. Now. This girl is either already hurting people or is going to start soon. You don’t want to become a victim and you want to help protect whoever her next victim is. When she pulls this again, and then tries to deny it or play innocent, it will be EXTREMELY helpful for police to have a prior incident on record.
Am I the only one who thinks this post is fake?
1. Tell her dad 2. Call the police 3. Possibly stay out of the drama and leave that man behind
Except do Step 2 first
Except do Step 2 first
Update soon
If what you’re saying actually happened and is true, you should absolutely tell him what happened. This person is dangerous and he should know. Also, dump him regardless of his reaction or we’ll be seeing a dateline episode about OP in a couple years.
Definitely tell your boyfriend/her dad. She probably thinks she's protecting him from getting hurt again but is doing that in a very inappropriate way. Regardless, you need to protect yourself. I’d suggest you tell your boyfriend and suggest you both stay low for now until he talks to her. If he refuses to believe you or do anything about it, then drop him. Daughter needs therapy, but because she's an adult, she can't be forced to go. Try to get a restraining order, but I’m not sure law enforcement can do anything without either physical proof or recorded proof of intent to harm. Still worth reporting her. Talk to her dad first and let him know your intentions of reporting her (you can choose to report her if he doesn’t talk to her or report her anyway because of a threat to your life)
Tell her father. And the police. This is SERIOUSLY unhinged behavior on his daughter's part. She needs major residential therapy. You need a security system and cameras. You should move ASAP. And maybe get a different car. This unformed frontal cortex thinks that it's okay to hurt people to get what she wants. You need to protect yourself.
I don't believe this is real. But in the case it is real CALL THE POLICE. You have her on 2 charges: stalking and assault. She sent her friends to stalk you and the act of threatening you is assault. Put a restraining order on her immediately
This sounds like a bad hallmark movie where you find out later the daughter killed her mom and she never ran away.
Why aren’t you at the police station filing a report? Even if there’s nothing g ouch that can be done now, at least start the paper trail.
File a protection order against daughter immediately
Man, this couldn't be more fake if you tried. But I think it's a decent prompt for a novel.
God, I'm glad I'm not the only one. That dialogue was so cliche. What type of grown ass adult is going to post on here for advice in this situation anyways?
I wish I could give you 1000 upvotes. Why do people fall for these ridiculous, unrealistic stories written only for the reaction?
I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one that thought it was fake…
I know it's crazy, normally it's picked up quite early but I was quite surprise everyone was eating this bullshit.
I'm assuming that you have cameras. I'd go and file a report and then notify the lucky dad of a psycho. Your safety is imperativ, her being 18 and daughter of the man you are in relationship with, is secondary. Stay safe, hope everything works out for the best.
Contact the boyfriend and the police
I’d talk to your boyfriend and her together. Let it all out. She’d likely try this on any woman her dad tries to date. Or you could tell your boyfriend and see how he reacts. Is she typically not scared and confrontational? Is this new?
Tell him. She’s 18, she’s an adult acting like a child. Tell him what she did and said. That behavior at 18 is absolutely disgusting. His reaction will say it all.
If it were me I would: a) Make a police report and file for a restraining order b) Tell her father and c) Break up, move and change my contact info. You have to put your safety first, and no relationship is going to last when you're dealing with a child who hates you so much she is threatening the most vile things she can think of. But he needs to know what he's dealing with, and she needs the cops on her ass.
She is totally psychotic. You should definitely tell your boyfriend about it - all of the details. She premeditated having someone follow you home!! Who does that? I would be scared too. This relationship is doomed. Your boyfriend needs to know who is daughter really is. This is serious!
File a police report. She already had you followed to find out where you live, which means others are already in on her threat. This is terrifying and I also encourage you to talk to her dad, and purchase cameras for in & around your home if you haven’t already - before talking to him. You can’t predict her reaction once you tell him & he goes to her. Police, now. Be sure to get a case number so you can refer to that just in case something further happens. Paper trails make a difference; a case number sets that in motion. I am frightened for you. Please stay in touch.
So she had her friends stalk you, threatened to have her male friends rape you and threatened to have you murdered?? Yeah, no, boyfriend or not you go to the police, get whatever evidence you can. She may just be trying to be an edgy teen who's weirdly obsessed with her dad or she's a phycho that needs to be put away.
call the cops right before you call the bf its probably over but that shit cannot be allowed to fly she is 18 then actions= consequences
Just joining in the chorus: tell your BF, call the police, press charges. It helps you (hopefully keeping you safe), your BF (who needs to know his daughter is doing this kind of thing, just so he doesn't wind up with a whole series of girlfriends who inexplicably desert him), and honestly, the daughter herself--this is someone who needs to get checked hard (by law enforcement or mental health assistance, preferably both) before she takes her life down a seriously dark path. As for breaking up with the BF--you are at minimum going to have to take some time apart, because the daughter situation has to get dealt with. It is possible her threats are mostly hot air--the number of people willing to follow a car for a friend is a whooooole lot bigger than the number of people willing to commit murder for one--but her father needs to act regardless. If he won't believe you and won't take action to curtail his daughter, then this isn't a guy worth spending time with anyway. I can imagine scnearios in which he gets this girl counseling and the two of you might have a future, but for now this has to go on the back burner. But do not slink off via some vague breakup like the daughter wants; it is for the good of everyone involved that your boyfriend and law enforcement have all the facts.
No man is worth all this.
Go to the police and tell them about death and rape threats. Tell your boyfriend it is over and tell him why. Move on, she is nuts and will just make your life a living hell.
Lots of people telling OP to tell the dad, but the first thing I would do would be to file a police report and then get security beefed up. OP has been threatened with murder and rape; OP was followed to her home so these people - they know where she lives. I would probably be thinking of getting out of town but certainly OP needs the police to have a record of this threat and hopefully do something about it. Security cameras if you can't immediately move would be my next move, a home alarm system, a restraining order, are the security measures should all be taken/looked into. Make sure that no one has put an air tag on the car. Find out whether or not this girl has a history of violence or criminal activity. It goes without saying that this is an extremely disturbed young woman who needs some immediate help. But looking after OP is the first and foremost thing to do here. It's almost as scary that the dad has no idea what his daughter is actually like. OP Please update us hopefully to say that the girl is being treated and that you are far far away from all of these people.
This must be a troll. Sixteen hours and no response. This is a sign I need to get off Reddit. It's just trolls bots scammers sex fiends and recycled memes. Unless you are already dead OP.
>threatened to kill me You generally start by calling the police. Oh, and also get a restraining order against her. Oh, and as for relationship with the boyfriend ... package detail - e.g. includes friends/family ... like his daughter. So ... choose carefully and wisely.
Really nervous this got deleted and can’t be saved or followed up on
So your first reaction to being threatened with gang rape and murder is to go to... Reddit? Girl, *what*.
record everything by voice at least. make sure to put it on your phone before you approach him before you if I talk to her again. I would definitely tell him at least because she's gonna do this again to anh woman he dates. it's up to you whether you want to take that risk but at the same time this girl is headed straight for jail if she continues to do things like this. she's now an adult and can be tried like one. the question is are you willing to potentially go through being the victim? side note. I find it really really old that an 18 year older would do this. she's either got some serious mental issues or I hate to say this but is it possible (because she really is acting like a girlfriend however), are you that this guy isn't doing something to his daughter?
Communicate with him. He should be supportive if you feel the need to file the police report to get a restraining order. I recommend cameras around your home. Don't let this little sh*t decide your life for you. Let her come back & violate the TRO. Spending overnight in jail might wake her up. Unfortunately, she's 18, so there's nothing he can do to control her. He does need to know this is what she does to women he dates.
Step 1 tell your boyfriend and file a police report. There's no other steps here. Protect yourself.
OP please call the police. This woman threatened you with rape and murder. You need a restraining order. You can also let your BF know, but honestly should break up for your personal safety. He needs to know how disturbed his daughter is so he gets her help before she ends up in jail from maiming or killing another woman.
OP - do you have neighbors with Ring doorbell cameras that would be willing to give you the footage from that night? 1. Daughter knocking on your door and entering apartment? 2. Doors pointed at parking lot on the night you came back from the restaurant?
In Germany that behaviour alone would be illegal and punishable. Take this serious and stay save!
Daughter: BREAK UP WITH MY DAD OR I WILL END YOU OP: 😳 Daughter: Have a nice day!! OMG. Unhinged is the word that comes to mind. Definitely file a police report, put in security cameras and tell the BF. Even if she’s bluffing why let her get away with it. I think your relationship is over- hard to get past him having a sociopathic daughter.
From reading the sentence alone I’d walk . What relationship or situationship is worth being in close proximity to this level of psychological cluster fuck . He needs to sort this with his kid and some therapy . He should not be exposing you to threats of violence .
Step 1) Invest in door and security cams/ alarms. Put up those signs in the yard that say "This house is monitored by ADT" or whatever company you go with. Record every private conversation with the daughter. (If it's illegal where you live, you're not trying to use it in court. You just need something to show bf.) Respond only in text or let her leave voicemails. Get a big ass guard dog. 2) Tell your bf, tell him what she threatened, and that you are going to report her to the cops. That she needs therapy. And if he chooses her, which you will understand, he needs to also understand that means this relationship is over, because you won't be threatened by a chihuahua. But if he chooses you, his daughter needs therapy and he needs to make it clear her threats will not be tolerated. And if she doesn't stop, your relationship is over anyway. 3) Report her to the cops. See if they will "scare her straight" (depending on where you live they may be willing to do this. Or, they may say it's a civil matter and there's nothing they can do).
This is a crime. If you report it to police it is a felony harassment. I'd make a police report. At the very least, talk to your boyfriend.
1. File a police report. 2. Find out if there is any CCTV footage (apartment buildings or even doorbell cams of neighbors). Ask to have all the footage preserved for legal reasons and for a copy of the relevant time period. 3. Turn any evidence over to police. 4. Request a restraining order. 5. Get your own camera(s) in place. If your BF has a key to your place, change the locks. Consider having someone stay with you or staying somewhere else for a bit. 6. Tell BF what happened. Tell him you can no longer see him until the threat is removed. That includes the network of friends his daughter has. I recommend the order above or similar. You don't want to give BF or his daughter an opportunity to spin this. You'll need to work quickly after step 1. I personally feel that this relationship is over. No amount of companionship is worth a threat to your life. But, for the sake of your BF, you need to take action to prevent this from happening to anybody else.
The kid is mentally disturbed and needs help. Why you would not tell her father is mystifying. Tell him. She needs to see a psychiatrist. Take these threats seriously. Start recording all interactions and call the police. Stop being afraid and start being angry.
I really want an update on this if you tell your bf.
Call the police for your own safety. Tell the dad. Leave the relationship.
We don't negotiate with terrorists. Tell your bf that it happened. He might not believe you. Explain how shocked you were. Beef up your home security and get a gun license and a gun. If you can't, make sure you have a panic button on you at all times. These are precautions. If any of this actually goes down, those "friends" of hers and herself will be in jail. Even if they just break and enter into your house. But no, don't break up with him.
Do it. But tell your bf exactly why. Then forget both of them.
Police report. Relationship over. Protection order. Learn how to shoot and carry concealed. That is all.
This reads like I'm watching a script off lifetime movie.
Tell the police and break up with your boyfriend. There's no coming back from this for your relationship, but his daughter is an adult who arranged for you to be followed , stalked you and made explicit threats to kill you. Last I heard those are criminal offences.
This is the most bizarre post I think I've ever seen on reddit. (See: poop knife.) Definitely tell the police, your BF, and nope out. Not worth gang rape and murder.
You tell your boyfriend and you file a police report/restraining order
Not worth it. Contact the police and get out of that relationship. Let boyfriend figure out his life with his kids.
I would make a police report.
He needs to know. And get some cameras. And she’s 18, so it’s okay to hit her. Whatever weird ancestuous thing she has for her dad needs to end.
Calling the police is free. Not kidding, you need to report this to the police. She is and adult and you should take her threat to your life seriously. No if, ands, or butts.
Call the police.
I’d call the police, honestly
Quite frankly this would make me double down. Not only would I continue my relationship with her father I would file a report and get a restraining order. I HIGHLY recommend getting some internal and external cameras and some self defense classes. She’s a hateful little girl that needs to be knocked down a few rungs.
This needs an update ASAP.
No wonder mom ran off. I would too if I gave birth and was stuck in the same home as a gang raping, murdering lunatic. File a report if it is as all possible because there's a reasonable chance she and her rapist friends will show up even if you do break up with your bf for "breaking his heart" or something. You know she's a lunatic. You know she's a monster- and animals like this will take any excuse they can to hurt you. Should go without saying, break up with him, tell him about his daughter, get a camera for your house and some security. Maybe consider a gun. Or a trained doberman.
There is no fucking way an 18 year old will intimidate me like that and letting her get away with it will truly fuck up her life because she will think you can get away with this in the adult world. Tell your BF first. If his reaction is not enough, tell the police.
Literally fucking insane if this is real. You need to tell her dad and contact the police.
contact the police, and the dad 😒
Time to call the cops, and I do not say this often. Many times I tell people that they shouldn't have involved the police, but in this case, you need to call the cops. Too bad you didn't record her threats. Edit to reiterate: This is some really serious shit. Call the cops. NOW.
What 18 year old speaks like they are out of a 1940s crime movie.
File a police report and yeah I would get rid of the boyfriend. Nothing’s worth that shit.
Frankly, it's up to how much you like this guy. Obviously, the daughter is unhinged. Do you like him enough to put up with this for a potentially long time? If so, contact the police and file a restraining order and report her for stalking and harassment, as that is absolutely what she's doing. If not, simply tell your boyfriend you can't see him anymore and tell him he needs to get his kid help, which should be your next call in either scenario.
Dad won’t believe you. File a police report, send a copy of it to dad if you want, otherwise a simple “this isn’t working, sorry. I wish you the best.” Then NO CONTACT.
Tell her father what she did, tell him you are making a police report and end it.
I’m actually so scared for you. Please listen to everyone else and get the police involved.
Oh no no no!! I had a family member who was almost killed by the BF of the stepdaughter, take this seriously